2022 may be feeling even worse than 2021, but I'm still spitting out those bullets... because an all new 2021 RETROSPECTIVE Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Pizza! As anybody who's been reading Blogography for any amount of time knows, I've been searching for a decent frozen pizza for decades. And in 2021 I've finally found one. It's Red Baron Fully Loaded Five Cheese Pizza!

The sauce it great. The crust is amazing. The amount of cheese is a little excessive, but perfectly acceptable. Put it all together and it's the best frozen pizza I've ever had. With a caveat! As good as it tastes fresh out of the oven, it tastes horrible once it's gone cold. And reheating it in the microwave or oven does not bring it back. I've been sawing them in half and cooking only half and a time so I can eat the remainder at its best as well.

   
• Potato! As somebody who loves fries, I usually end up making them from scratch out of freshly-cut potatoes that I soak, pre-cook, freeze, then fry to get the best tasting ones I can get. But that's a horrible amount of work. So whenever I see a new frozen fries product, I give it a try. Usually I spray them with oil then put them in the rotisserie basket of my air fryer and they turn out okay. But in 2021 I discovered "McCains Quick Cook Fries." And they are a world different from anything else on the market...

The secret of the reason they cook "quick" with no flipping is that they are coated in oil. This is not a new trick. Ore-Ida did this years ago. But, for whatever reason, McCain's fries taste far better. Even though they do lie about the timing. Even when I preheat my oven, it takes closer to 20 minutes than the 13 minutes they advertise to get perfectly-cooked fries. Usually I don't bother to preheat. I just put them in and set the timer for 25 minutes. Bliss. Their crinkle-cut fries are so good that I'd rather have them that restaurant fries. Possibly even more than my own hand-cut fries! A half-bag is the perfect serving size for me and I anticipate eating a lot of these things in 2022.

   
• Sustained! I have been really trying to minimize waste more in 2021, recycling whatever I can and eliminating disposable plastics from my life. It's the least I can do, even though it's a ridiculously small dent in the amount of pollution produced (corporations are vastly more responsible than individuals, but convince people it's not their fault). One of the bigger steps I took was to stop buying Saran Wrap (plastic wrap). I used to go through a couple boxes every year, but the one I bought back in March will hopefully be my last. I've also greatly reduced the number of plastic bags I've been buying. My favorite replacement is "BioBag" products which decompose quite quickly in a landfill. They're expensive as hell though, so I've also brought "brown paper bag" sandwich bags for regular use...

They work great! But I also buy Reynolds wax paper bags for things that get sloppy (like the veggie burger with extra mayo I eat on my morning commute!). Or when I'm out of brown bags (like I am now). They have little stickers to keep them closed, which probably makes them bad for the environment, but they are fun to pack for lunch....

Wax paper doesn't biodegrade like raw paper (or BioBags), but it does biodegrade better than plastic. And uses more natural materials, so I'm chalking that up as a win (even though I'm trying to use them less and less since biodegradable bags are better). The best solution seems to be using glass containers with plastic lids which you can wash and reuse for years, so I've bought more Pyrex as well. Maybe one day they will come up with lids that aren't plastic but, in the meanwhile, they have lasted me over a decade so far, which is far less than if I were using plastic bags.

   
• Apples to Apples to Apples! This past year was a tough year for me financially because Apple ended up getting so much of my money. But boy was it money well-spent! My new iMac M1 is a (relatively) inexpensive Mac that flies through even my most demanding work. Despite it being on the low-end of the spectrum, it's the best desktop Mac I've ever owned. Then I traded in for the iPhone Pro Max 13, which is the best phone I've ever owned (and the heaviest). Then I traded in for the MacBook Pro M1 Max. Legit the best computer I've ever owned. And my favorite. Not even a contest...

It is ridiculously fast and powerful, has incredible battery life, and is an absolute joy to work with. THIS is the kind of "pro" computer Apple should have been making for the past decade instead of the form-over-function bullshit they were married to. The weird thing is that this MacBook is still really beautiful despite being constructed for function over form. Yet "curviness" was more important than power to Apple for a decade, so that was what we got. Blergh. Hopefully they won't slide back to old habits. The wild acclaim for this computer by pundits and customers alike should tell them they are finally on the right track.

   
• Travel-less! It has been genuinely strange going from dozens of trips each year to zero in 2020 and one in 2021. Unless some miracle cure arrives which eradicates COVID from the face of the earth, I'm expecting the same for 2022. Because right now I have no plans to go anywhere. But still, that one trip I did take during Delta but pre-Omicron reminded me of what "normal" is like. Even though I was masked most of the time...

So maybe after they announce a fourth booster I will make a trip just to remember what "normal" used to be like? If I do, it will probably be a trip to San Francisco because that's where my tattoo artist is, and I've been wanting new ink for years now. Fingers crossed.

   
• Kitty! Once again the thing that saved me in 2021 were my cats. Even at times when I was at my lowest and didn't care about myself, I always cared about them. In 2021 Jenny learned to manipulate me better than in previous years, coming up with an entire menu of meows and behaviors to get what she wants. Jake and I have conversations now. He meows (or tries to) and I meow back. Then we go back and forth for a while. I have no idea what I'm saying, but it must be interesting enough to him that he feels a need to respond!

   
• Betty! I'm still crushed. I've been avoiding social media and the news so I'm not seeing news about her death over and over. What a shitty end to a shitty year.

   
• Boosted! I've had people sneer at me for getting boosted, saying that the COVID vaccine obviously doesn't work if you need to get a booster... "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? GET BOOSTER SHOTS FOREVER??" And the answer is yes. Fuck yes. Because there are mountains of data showing that staying current with vaccinations vastly reduces incidents of serious illness, hospitalization, and death. MOUNTAINS OF DATA! So give me all the shots. This is no different than getting a flu shot every year. Except COVID mutates so fast and the vaccine is so new that we may end up getting two boosters a year instead of one. As the science gets better, the boosters will get better. Eventually we may even have the option for a combo flu/COVID booster, and I will take that shot. 1000% I will take it. I have faith in the science which has given us so much. There's a learning process which goes along with scientific research, and I am happy to be a part of it. I have cats to take care of, after all.

   
So... yeah. Not a lot else happened in 2021, so I guess that's it. Pizza, fries, sandwich bags, Apple stuff, one trip, cats, the passing of a legend, and COVID. Not a banner year, to be sure.

As I've probably stated a dozen times or more here on Blogography, I am not a theater kinda guy. The only show I've ever gone to see on my own volition was The Book of Mormon, and that was only because Trey Parker and Matt Stone came up with the idea and worked on it. I counted on it being funny, and it was.

Any other time I've gone to a show was because my mom loved to go (she loved The Lion King so much that we saw it in New York and London). And seeing her happy for getting to go to the theater waas good enough for me.

But there was one other time that I very nearly went to a Broadway show just for me. And it was for Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark. I may not love live theater, but I do love me comic books, and the production was supposed to be a revolutionary show (and I had no reason to doubt it... Julie Taymore was in charge of The Lion King and did such an incredible job).

But then the reviews started pouring in.

The show was terrible.

Nonsensical, long, not faithful to the comics, and (worst of all) boring.

And so I didn't make it a priority to get to NYC, but I did still want to see it. If it was, in-fact, such a horrendous train wreck, then that would make it all worthwhile, wouldn't it? Alas, I was so busy traveling everywhere else in the world that I never made it before the show was shuttered. This would forever be a minor regret of mine (like not visiting the Hard Rock Park when I had a chance), because it was one of those things that is now gone never to return.

But the memory still lingers, and there's a fascinating YouTube video about the show I ran across that's worth your valuable time if you enjoy "behind the scenes" madness like I do. Sounds like the show was an epic mess from every conceivable angle, and now I really regret not having seen it...

Contrast and compare to another Broadway production that I didn't realize existed but, after having watched a video about it, now really wish I had seen...

It's interesting how videos like these actually have me more intrigued about Broadway theater than I've ever been before. No, I probably won't ever come to love it... but I honestly do think that I could eventually learn to appreciate it.

Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark included.

I don't do Twitter or Instagram. I mean, I have accounts, but I look at them rarely and hardly ever post. TikTok is something I actually enjoy, but I never post there. I'm merely a voyeur. The only social media I'm involved in is Facebook and I hate it. They can randomly ban you for arbitrary reasons that make no sense. I once got a three day ban for posting "sexual content." There was nothing remotely sexual about it. I don't even understand how they came to that conclusion. I appealed, but nothing came of it. Meanwhile, friends have been targeted with threats of violence and reporting it only gets them ignored. Needless to say, if you're popular enough, powerful enough, or rich enough, you get to post whatever the fuck you want. Including hate and misinformation which is literally killing people.

But, alas, Facebook is a necessary evil because friends from around the world are there and it's the only way to easily keep in contact with them.

And then there's Blogography.

Blogging isn't the social platform it once was. It used to be that everybody had a blog and you kept in touch by reading and commenting back and forth around the blogging community. Now only the tiniest fraction of my blogging friends are still at it. Bloggers who were only in it to keep in touch moved to social media platforms because it was so much easier. Bloggers who were in it for the money left when the money dried up. Bloggers who were in it for fame abandoned it when the fame never came.

Those of us who remain each have our own reasons.

At this point, blogging is a habit for me. But I do like being able to go back through old posts and remember stuff I was doing my life. Next year I'll have 20 years worth, which is a big chunk of my time on this earth.

Although...

From a historical perspective, I sure wish that blogging existed in the 1980's.

That's when my life just started getting interesting, and all I have are random memories from 1985 through 2003. That was college. That was time with the best friends I'll ever have. That was when I first started traveling. Sure I have photos, but they're just snapshots. What happened in-between is a messy blur that's mostly lost because alcohol might have been involved. Had I written things down, I'd be able to remember them too.

What triggered this post was my struggling to remember details of my first trip to Japan in 1996. I had found a journal where I wrote out single sentences with a bunch of space between them. I had always intended to go back and expand on what I had seen and done so it would be documented and I wouldn't forget. Well, that was over 25 years ago now, so there will be no filling in anything. Half of the sentences are meaningless to me. Take this one, for example...

"I hear it is a custom over there, to exchange cigarettes as a form of greeting..."

All I know is that it was a tag line written in English on a cigarette vending machine in the lobby of my hotel (which I was able to find thanks to some Google sleuthing back in 2014). I guess I wrote it down because I thought it was funny. But four pages later I wrote...

"Lonely night in Akihabara. Was happy to get back to my hotel where my best friend Fred was waiting to exchange cigarettes with me again."

And I'm like WTF? Because I have no clue what that means. If I were to venture a guess, there was probably an illustration or a photo of a guy holding out a pack of cigarettes next to that tagline on the cigarette machine. And I guess I named him Fred. Or something. I haven't a clue. And there's no way I'll ever know. Unless they invent time travel. Or I invest in hypnotherapy... maybe.

If this trip had happened any time after 2003, it would have been documented here. If it had happened any time after 2007, it would have been photographed multiple times and posted. But oh well.

There's still 20 years sitting here for me.

I no longer enjoy driving. People are too aggressive, too stupid, and too distracted to make it fun.

But there was a time I enjoyed it very much. I'd fly into someplace, rent a car, then drive for days. You see a lot of cool things while driving. Small towns. Oddities. Strange places. All the things you miss when you're flying over it all. There was a time that I had a dream of driving all of America's great highways. Route 66, I-90, and dozens more. As it is, I only ever drove them in pieces. Here are some favorites...

• The Cascade Loop. Probably the only scenic highway system I've driven in its entirety (albeit not on the same trip). This one was easy because I live here. There are some beautiful places to be found along this route.
• I-10 from Houston to Jacksonville I drove this one mainly because I was in San Antonio and wanted to visit New Orleans for the hundredth time. Then I kept driving because it seemed like a good idea at the time. The views over the bayou outside of The Big Easy at sunset were incredible.
• I-5 from Seattle to Sacramento. The highlight of this one is the Redwood Forest, but the drive through Oregon is also pretty nice. All those trees.
• I-90 from Chicago to Boston .I've driven at the beginning of I-90 in Seattle and the end of I-90 in Boston. The longest stretch of it I've driven is from Chicago to Boston. Upstate New York is beautiful, but it's all the towns along the way that made this such an interesting drive.
• I-40 from Memphis to Greensboro. This was mainly driven to see a bunch of Hard Rocks (I actually ended up in Myrtle Beach after driving off the I-40) but I wanted to see The Great Smokey Mountains and the surrounds.

CGP Grey released a video today which revolves around cool things you might not know about the US Interstate Highway System. WELL worth your time to watch...

I'm likely done with driving the scenic byways of the USA... but I still enjoy videos like this.

My SD card at work is corrupt, so I had to grab one from home.

On the card is the last photo ever taken of my mom and I together. It was our last day on Safari before heading to Mosi-oa-Tunya (Victoria Falls to the colonizers). We went to this watering hole to watch the elephants come in for their evening drink. There was absolutely nobody there except us, the elephants, and our guide, which was pretty spectacular...

Interesting how I seem to be past the crushing despair that comes from knowing my mom is gone. I honestly didn't think I'd ever get here. Now I'm able to miss her while being so very grateful that we had moments like this to share. Looking at the image, it seems unreal that at no point in the two years after this did I get any more photos taken with her. But perhaps it's for the best? Here she couldn't make any memories, but she was still healthy, happy, and enjoying life.

And that's how I'll always remember her.

On February 19, 2022, I was sitting in my home watching the final two installments of "The Wedding Veil Trilogy" on Hallmark Channel. In the second film, they end up in Burano, Italy, a small island near Venice which is known for fine lace and colorful houses. As I do every time a place I've been to appears in a movie, I take a quick look at my travel photos from my visits and try to remember details of my trip.

Turns out I remembered quite a lot. But one thing I couldn't remember is how far it was from Venice to Burano. All I could recall was that it was the vaporetto stop after the cemetery island and the island of Murano. A quick look at Google Maps, and I saw that Burano was quite a bit further away than I was thinking it was...

Map © Google

Because the movie wasn't very good, I found myself wandering around Venice using Google Maps "Street View"... tracing my way around the places I had been in my two trips to visit.

Eventually I got around to this...

Map © Google

Now that's weird... what's that glass cage doing there?

On March 20, 2011, I was in Venice, Italy. While there I posted a photo of a giant statue of a small boy holding a frog at the Punta della Dogana...

On August 16th, 2015, I was in Los Angeles, California. While there I posted a photo of a giant statue of a small boy holding a frog at The Getty Center...

At the time I remarked that it was weird how there were duplicate statues half a world away from each other.

So tonight I decided to Google for more information on the statues to see why there were two of them...

• In 2008 artist Charles Ray used 3D computer modeling to create models of a photo that had been taken. The work, entitled Boy with Frog, was then super-sized and built out of fiberglass over a steel frame for a commission by François Pinault to stand outside of a museum he was building to house his art collection in Venice.
• The Punta della Dogana museum opened in June 2009. Boy with Frog was installed for the opening, sitting on land owned by the City of Venice. The lease to house the sculpture was renewed with the city four times a year.
• Sometime in 2011 the fiberglass sculpture in Venice was replaced with a painted stainless steel version.
• On July 26, 2011 the fiberglass version made its way to The Getty Center in L.A. where it was put on temporary display until January of 2012.
• In May of 2013 the stainless steel version was removed from the Punta della Dogana and replaced with a reproduction of a lamp post.

Apparently the Google Maps Street View image I saw was snapped prior to May of 2013. Furthermore, the statue had a police guard during the day, but had the glass cage locked around it at night to protect it from vandalism.

Now I am going a little bit crazy, because I have some questions about what I've read...

• Which version did I see in Venice in March of 2011? Had the fiberglass version been removed and I saw the painted stainless steel version? Or was the fiberglass version still on display at that time?
• If the temporary installation of the fiberglass version was to be removed from The Getty Center in January of 2012, then how did I see it there in August of 2015? Perhaps it wasn't removed after all? Was it removed and brought back for a while? Where is it now?
• From what I can tell, the stainless steel version ended up at the Philadelphia Museum of art, but is currently on display at a Charles Ray exhibit at The Met in New York City.

It seems absurd that such an important and beloved work has so little concrete information available about it. The good news is that I think I saw both the fiberglass and the painted stainless steel versions. And, if it turns out I haven't, a trip to Philadelphia can solve that (or New York City, if I can get there before June 5th).

For decades... 30 years plus... I've traveled on the week of my birthday. Partly because I just don't want to be home to celebrate an occasion that I don't celebrate, but mostly because it seemed like a nice treat for myself for surviving another year. In years when I could afford it, I've left the country. In other years I find something a little more domestic. And it's been great.

The hard part these past two years have been seeing my Facebook feed packed to the rafters with all my past travels... all the while knowing that I'm not going to be going anywhere thanks to the pandemic.

Oh well.

Could be worse.

Though looking at the shit-show this world has become, I guess it is worse?

And, to be honest, I'm not sure my heart is in travel any more. Certainly not to the extent that it used to be. There are still some places I'd really like to go, but will I ever get there? As time marches on will I even care? And if I ever do care enough to travel again (and if it's ever safe enough to travel again), will the places I want to go even be available to me? It's always been my dream to visit St. Petersburg. But, well, you know...

In other news... the Netflix Marvel shows are now on Disney+. I found this out when I tried to log in and they asked me to set up a ne profile so that I can watch shows not meant for children.

And so I've been rewatching the three seasons of Daredevil we were lucky enough to get. One thing that's immediately apparent is why Marvel Studios didn't bother to recast Matt Murdock & Kingpin for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Charlie Cox and Vincent D'Onofrio are sublimely perfect in the roles. Anything less would be a step backwards...

Though what's going to come of it, who knows? A new season of Daredevil on Disney+? A new Daredevil movie? More appearance in other Marvel Studios movies and series?

Hopefully all of that.

Don't you dare touch that dial... because an all new, all YouTube Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Heartstopper! Easily one of the best series I've seen so far in 2022, Heartstopper (Netflix) is about the most adorable TV show you'll find. What really got me is how much of the lives of young people today are invested in immediate feedback from texting. The struggle to put your thoughts and feelings in short little messages... the frustration of not knowing what to say... and the agony of sending something and immediately regretting it... we had absolutely nothing like this in school. Maybe note passing. That's it. The game is entirely different today...

What amazes me most about this show is how many opportunities they had to fall into the Hallmark trap of letting a misunderstanding sabotage their entire relationship, but were actually more adult about talking things out than adults are in Hallmark movies. Refreshing! There's also a guest star playing Nick's mom who may not be a known face to American audiences, but she was a major "get" across the Atlantic, and I was SO happy it wasn't spoiled in the trailer. Worth a watch. 100% Dave Approved television.

   
• Hard Rock Park! I don't have many regrets. But I do regret that I never made it to Hard Rock Park. The year that it opened, my travel calendar was packed, but I had plans to visit the following year. Alas, it closed after a single season. It would become "Freestyle Music Park" for another season before closing permanently. One of the most unique things to ever come out of Hard Rock and I missed it! Then I ran across a couple videos about the park, and regret not making it even more...

Boy. I wish somebody would rescue all that material and published it in a book or something. I could have spent hours going through all that!

   
• Miriwoong! Few things are as sad to me as a language dying out. Because it means an important part of humanity's culture is lost, because in so many ways language is culture. Or at least a very good symptom of it...

I've long been fascinated by languages, and Miriwoong is an example of exactly why I'm fascinated.

   
• Giza! Holy cats I love videos like this. And, let me tell you, that walk into the pyramid is something I will never forget. It was hot, stuffy, and claustrophobic for sure, but it's the fact that the passage could collapse behind you and leave you trapped inside that's the real scary part. What would they do? Rip apart the pyramid to save your life? Yeah, probably not...

Manuel Bravo is a YouTube creator I've never heard of before. But I subscribed after 2 minutes in on this video, only to find his entire channel is magic. Give it a look if this kind of stuff interests you.

   
• Bud! The fact that John Oliver releases short videos like this on the weeks he's off to tide you over until his next show is why his YouTube Channel is a must-subscribe...

I mean. Holy cow. The dogs got super-powers?!? Where have I been?

   
• Space! If you're not excited to bits about the James Webb Space Telescope, it's because you don't understand it properly. Lucky for you, Marques is here to drop some knowledge...

I have gone through so many rabbits in learning about what this incredible telescope is going to do for our understanding of the universe, and all of it is positively mind-boggling.

   
• History! The Statue of Liberty is one of those things that we kinda take for granted. It's there. It's been there for a while. France gave it to us. But there's so much more than that. For a very cool glimpse into all things Lady Liberty, this video is worth a watch...

   
And that's it for year another fascinating Bullet Sunday. Tune in next Sunday where I may... or may not... have even more interesting things to share!

Since I had to work all weekend, I was under this deluded fantasy that I would be able to put in a half-day today. Which I really need, because there is so much stuff that needs to be done at home. Stuff that I've been putting off for weeks. Like laundry. Like cleaning the house. Like putting together furniture. Like tying up the flowers in my back yard. And the list goes on and on and on.

Spoiler alert. I was in the office right up until 5:00 and then worked for another three hours when I got home.

In two days I will have to start turning my underwear inside-out because all my clean pairs will be gone. They would have been gone long ago, except I've got huge amounts of underwear and socks left from my back-to-back travel days. Sometimes I'd be gone for weeks, dropping by my car in the airport parking garage only long enough to grab a suitcase with clean clothes before catching my next flight. You can't do that unless you've got four weeks worth of underwear on standby.

Well, clean underwear, of course.

Which is in dangerous short supply for me just now, as noted.

For the longest time I've been telling people that I haven't traveled for work since September, 2019. And I could have sworn it was true. But it isn't. The last actual work trip I took was the day after Christmas, 2019. Before that I was in New Orleans for work in October, and the work trip before that was to Las Vegas in August. Which is to say I didn't even travel in September of 2019!

I get all confused because, pre-pandemic, I traveled a lot for work. Like a lot a lot. I have no idea why a prime work/travel month like September was a blank slate, but I probably had something personal going on. It happens.

Fast-forward to today, and I have my first work trip in 2-1/2 years. I didn't have to fly, thank heavens, it was just a drive over to Seattle this afternoon where I will be for two nights. I don't think I want to fly now that people don't have to be tested or wear masks and COVID is mutating into some shit that's more serious (which is disappointing, because the new variants were actually getting weaker for a while there).

The weirdest part about this trip is not that I'm actually traveling for work again.

It's that I had forgotten what it's like to be around STUFF again.

Oodles of great restaurants... tons of great stores... loads of great places... and they're all so close! A mall with one of my favorite stores (The Container Store) is a five-minute drive away. A Cheesecake Factory with those frickin' amazing Avocado Eggrolls is a five-minute drive away. Heck, a frickin' Burger King with my beloved Impossible Whopper is just a five-minute drive away! Everything is just so ridiculously close in a big city. Where I live, Burger King is almost a half-hour away.

It's all so... great.

Except I am seriously missing my cats. Leaving them has never been easy, but it's even worse now that I'm with them every day. Poor kitties probably think I've abandoned them.

I wish I knew how to abuse my work expense account.

Most people are likely to eat out at expensive restaurants, stay at expensive hotels, and live like they're not paying for it all. Because they're not. But I've never been like that. I stay at reasonably-priced lodging and eat the same food I'd eat if I were paying for it...

BREAKFAST: Egg & Cheese Biscuit and a soda at McDonald's.
LUNCH: Impossible Whopper ($3 for Whopper Wednesday!) and a soda at Burger King.
DINNER: Avocado Eggrolls (an apetizer) and a glass of water at Cheesecake Factory.

I spend a fraction of the money I'm allowed, but it's exactly what I want to be eating. Heck, I'd go so far as to say it's what I'm thrilled to be eating. Which is to say that an expense account is wasted on me. Maybe if I wasn't a vegetarian I'd be loading up of steak, lobster, and caviar, but I sincerely doubt it.

You'd think that I'd at least stay at a hotel with decent WiFi (which this DoubleTree most definitely does not have). This place is as slow as frickin' 300 baud dial-up back in the pre-history of the world. I'd use my phone as a hotspot, but my hi-speed allotment was blown when the internet was down at my house on Monday, so it's also as slow as frickin' 300 baud dial-up back in the pre-history of the world.

Oh well. I did get warm cookies when I checked in (which this DoubleTree most definitely does have). That's not nuthin'.

On my way home, I got behind a driver who was driving 5-10 miles per hour under the speed limit and veering off the side of the road from time to time. Frustrated that they were obviously not paying attention to the task at hand, I decided to pass them. But as I was passing, they decided to speed up. Immediately I had gone from having plenty of room to pass... to having a car coming from the other direction approaching fast. I has a decision to make.

So do I...

1. Slam on the brakes and risk this guy being a total asshole who would then also slam on his brakes, in which case I'd be trapped and then dead.
2. Speed up even faster to pass.

I picked option 2 and floored it. I managed to get around them with plenty of time, but the car coming from the other direction had veered off the road anyway... and I couldn't really blame them. I would have likely done the same. And OF COURSE the asshole slowed right back down to below the speed limit again... proving that Option #2 was the correct choice. The driver was just a sadistic asshole who would cause a horrific accident because they didn't want to be passed.

What the fuck?

There was a time I enjoyed driving. That hasn't been the case in years. Other drivers on the road are sadistic assholes who simply don't pay attention. They're texting... or doing their nails... or playing Scrabble... or what-the-fuck-ever. And it's not enough to try not to cause an accident, there are people like this asshole today who are actively trying to cause them!

And the downfall of humanity stays the course...

Yesterday before I went back to my hotel and worked the night away, I stopped by the 7-11 because I needed a Coke Zero and a bottle of water. Except the place was packed, so I went next door to a place called "Momo's Kebab." They had a Coke cooler visible through the window, and that's all I needed.

When I walked in, the place smelled like what I thougt heaven probably smalls like.

I saw that they had a falafel pita and Greek fries on the menu, so I figured I'd go for it and save myself the trouble of figuring out what to do for dinner.

The falafel sandwich? Incredible. Five out of five stars. The melange of flavors and seasoning is everything you could want, and it looked beautiful...

BUT THOSE GREEK FRIES THO!!!!

If I had to use a single word to describe them, I think it would be "orgasmic." Probably the best I've ever had. Flawless. Eleven out of five stars. (they looked more amazing than that photo, but I mixed them around before I thought to take a photo).

It's a darn good thing that I live 2-1/2 hours away from Momo's, because I would double in size from eating these daily.

Indeed, I've just arrived home after a long drive and it's taking all of my willpower to not drive back over to Seattle so I can have some.

I am beyond exhausted.

Today I had to make the three-hour drive to Spokane for work... something I haven't done in quite a while. Years even. For decades I had to drive it at least once a year, if not multiple times. But given the general weirdness of the world and the way things like COVID keep popping up, it just hasn't been in the cards until now.

If there's one thing I can count on every time I make the trip, it's two things.

1. I will see some new construction that will make me think "WTF?" In the past this has included everything from a new chain restaurant very close to where another one already exists... or places I've been going for years suddenly bulldozed under... or something you just don't expect (the massive new Amazon warehouse outside of Spokane, to name one).
2. I will see some wacky-ass driver doing something so ridiculous and/or dangerous as to defy belief.

Sure enough, I was not disappointed.

The construction would be a new Mormon Temple just outside Moses Lake. This is a city between Seattle and Spokane which is quite literally in the middle of nowhere, and probably has around 20,000 some-odd people living there. It would not surprise me to know that Moses Lake has a Mormon church because loads of cities large and small have LDS churches... but a full-on temple?!? In Moses Lake?!?

To put this into perspective, this is only the fourth temple in the entire state. There's one in Seattle and one in Spokane (as one would expect) and a third one in Richland (which serves the Tri-Cities area of about 300,000 people). But frickin' Moses Lake?!? And it ain't no matchbox place of worship either... it's looking like it will be substantial. Which means that Moses Lake must have a pretty healthy number of Mormons residing there. Go figure. Still... kinda weird given how church attendance keeps falling year-over-year.

As for the unbelievable driving crap? Pretty much what you'd expect.

Probably the most dramatic was when a line of us were passing a motorhome in the passing lane... when an asshole went zooming past all of us in the right lane... got to the motorhome... then 1000% cut in front of a car to get back int the passing lane. Which was fucking stupid on every level because then he just ended up stuck behind the same car that was in front of us passing.

And boy was the person he cut in front of mad.

Not that I could blame them. Such recklessness could have caused a major accident. I saw the person who got cut off go grinding on the asshole's bumper... then zoom ahead of them and cut them off. Which was actually a dangerous thing to do, but sometimes we lose our minds when an asshole ruins our day, so I can understand it.

And now it's time to collapse so I can get up for work in the morning.

Turns out I only thought I was exhausted yesterday. Because today I found out exactly what "exhausted" really means.

Last night I was quick to take a nap because I knew I was going to wake up to watch the series premiere of She-Hulk: Attorney at Law that debuted on Disney+. Probably a mistake, but I didn't have to be to work until 9:00, so no big deal, right? (SPOILER ALERT: It would indeed turn out to be a big deal). I'm going to reserve comment on the show until we get past this origin episode... but my first impression was very good. I love Tatiana Maslany, and she brought everything you could hope for to the role. A guest appearance from The Hulk didn't hurt matters (where we also get a lingering question answered from the Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings credits scene...

But anyway... Could not get back to sleep after hulking out, which ultimately lead to me getting a whopping three hours and twenty-eight minutes of sleep (according to Apple Watch). It didn't help that there were people in the neighboring hotel room who were making lots of noise and slamming doors until 2:30am. Thankfully work went very well, because if things went badly and a fully-functional brain was required, I would have been in deep trouble.

After work I stopped for a road pizza at David's...

And then I was on my way. Three hours of nothing but this...

Could be worse. It could have been five hours of nothing but that.

Traveling the world is not the only way to have a more open perspective concerning the people living on it. But it definitely helps. If there's one thing that I've taken away from my travels, it's that the vast, vast majority of people on this planet just want to live their lives in peace. They want to have a place to life. Have food to eat. Maybe pop out some kids and raise a family. But above all, they want to not have to live their lives in fear. Unfortunately fear is a highly effective tool to control people, so our lives are governed by fear.

It is an endless cycle of hatred and fear which keeps powerful people in power and people without power in line so that powerful people maintain their power.

In all honesty, I thought that the advent of the internet would severely cripple the ability of people to use fear as a motivator. "Surely once people see that there is no reason to hate other people since everybody around the globe basically wants the same thing out of life, powerful people will lose their grip on us!" I thought.

To say that this was not the case is a gross understatement.

Turns out the internet was just another tool for powerful people to control us with hate and fear. Even worse, it allows non-powerful people to have a global audience for their hate and fear.

And so it has all escallated to such obscene levels that I'm wondering if we can escape it before we destroy ourselves. It's nice to hope so... but reality says we probably won't.

Which is such a shame.

Because all that the vast, vast majority of people on this planet want is just to live their lives in peace.

As a kid, I was a massively huge fan of Disneyland. I dreamed of going for years before my family finally made the trip down to California. Once I got there, it truly was the most magical place on earth... at least it was to me.

It was from that point on that I became a hardcore Disney Parks geek. I would visit Disneyland, Walt Disney World, and even Tokyo Disneyland over the years just to keep up with whatever cool rides and experiences they had added. That lead me into becoming once of those infamous "Disney Adults" that keep getting trashed by assholes who are mad that they have to stand in line with their bratty kids to ride the rides... using the justification that "Disney is for kids."

To which I say "Fuck off" because kids invade my space all the time. So even if I bought into the argument that "Disney is for kids" (which I do not), I wouldn't care.

But anyway...

I haven't managed to make my way to any of the Disney parks for years. I really want to see the completed Pandora - The World of Avatar land in Animal Kingdom at Walt Disney World. And Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge at either USA park. But I have a serious problem with the way that Disney is letting the parks go downhill thanks to shitty decisions made by CEO Bob Chapek. The gutting of perks from staying at Disney hotels. The total shitshow that's the "Genie+" service (pay more to get less!). The meandering lack of direction and general stagnation. It's as if all the things that make Disney parks a magical place have been falling by the wayside.

Meanwhile over at Universal Studios...

Yeah, Universal is slowly starting to eat Disney's lunch. On top of investing a lot of time and money into cutting-edge experiences and maintaining hotel perks, they're building an entirely new park in Orlando. Not an extra land, but a whole new third park.

Called Universal's Epic Universe the information coming out of its construction is pretty amazing. We're getting four dedicated lands: Super Nintendo World, Universal Monsters, Wizarding World, and How to Train Your Dragon... along with a central hub (complete with its own attractions) and plenty of room for expansion...

Photo by @BioreConstruct with overlay by @TonyHawkins

This isn't just "Blue Sky" promises about stuff that might happen, this is Universal literally building their future.

So I dunno. Maybe Disney will pull through and actually manage to get Disneyland Westside going. Maybe their rumored "Disney Villains" land and "Frozen" land will actually happen in Orlando. Maybe they'll start adding perks back to the hotels so that the massive price tag is worth it.

But until then... I just don't know that a few new rides is enough to make me book a trip to Orlando.

But Epic Universe is shaping up to be something that might.

Today I'm driving over the mountains. A prospect that looks a lot better than it did yesterday when the snow was dumping down.

Not that I'm worried about the driving, mind you. I've been driving in the snow forever. No, I'm worried about the sheer number of idiots on the road who either drive too fast for conditions or don't pay close enough attention while operating a motor vehicle.

Which is most people, alas.

It always seems weird that some people want to risk getting seriously hurt or dead... or causing others to get seriously hurt or dead... by not slowing down and paying attention.

I guess it's all worth it if you can text grandma that you're driving balls-to-the-walls so you can be there in time for cocktails.

It's surprising how many people ask me "Do you miss traveling? You used to travel all the time and now you don't! I guess when you do something a lot, that kinda becomes entwined with your identity. Sometime that defines you to others and, to some extent, to yourself.

The truth is that I did miss it very much at first... for about six months after my non-stop travel ended. I had become so accustomed to it that it seemed normal, and not traveling seemed like things in my life were not normal. It was like I didn't know what to do with myself if I wasn't flying off to Honolulu for a couple days to present at a conference... then flying to San Francisco for an overnighter to see that paperwork was handled... then flying to Vegas for a few days for one reason or another. I was gone for 1/3 of the year, now I'm home 99% of the time.

And yet... two years later now... I am quite happy to stay at home.

Sure there are some places in the world I'd still love to visit, but the drive to actually go there has subsided. Now the idea of spending hours upon hours in airports and in planes just doesn't appeal to me. At all. Maybe once COVID has finally been eradicated I'll join up with another charity to keep fighting the good fight and start traveling again, but the longer I'm going nowhere the more I doubt it.

Maybe it'll just be a vacation here and there.

Though I don't mind saying... the idea of a staycation where I'm just building stuff in my garage woodshop sounds like it would be the best vacation ever.

The snow has been relatively calm where I live so far.

But all that's due to change. I got a weather alert that late tonight we're under Winter Storm Warning.

I'd really, really prefer that the heaviest snowfalls wait until after the holidays when everything has settled down and I'm not traveling over the mountains. People lose their minds traveling for Christmas, and having tons of snow on top of that invites all kind of horrors to a drive.

As if driving with people who are texting or doing Lord knows whatever wasn't a big enough horror.

I was supposed to drive over the mountains on Friday. But the forecast called for freezing rain, which makes driving in the mountains crazy-hazardous, so I took a big ol' pass and drove over on Thursday.

There were a few slippery spots along the way, but it was a good drive overall and I didn't have to put chains on, which was nice...

I was due to drive back on Christmas Day (Sunday) but the mountain passes were closed. The one I drove over has no estimated opening date, the other route had decent roads, but there was a semi jack-knifed on the second pass, so that was closed. It was still closed on Monday morning, but eventually opened at 11am. The roads themselves were pretty good. The problem was that there was a lot of people on the road post-holiday, and half of them were either clueless or assholes. Now there's freezing rain all over the place, which makes me very happy I'm not driving in it. Instead I'm in bed with the cats trying not to fall asleep. If I go to bed before 10pm, I'll wake up at 4am and be very cross indeed.

A quick trip over the mountains today!

Years ago it was common for there to be snow in March. I remember drive over for my birtday in late March when it was near white-out conditions and chains were required. But these years that's becoming more and more rare. There have been times when ski resorts were shutting down in February due to lack of snow.

But this year? Season pass holders are getting a good deal because it looks like there will be plenty of snow through the month...

I dunno. I'm ready for Winter to be over.

I have apparently reached the point where I am the guy who doesn't want to leave the house.

Remember when you could drive to the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport from my house in 2 hours and 25 minutes? Pepperidge Farms remembers. Now you are very lucky to do it in under 3 hours... even if you carefully plan it so that you hit that narrow 1:30 to 3:30 window where the traffic is bad... but not horrendous like what happens after 3:30.

Even though I planned accordingly, there were two lane closure events that cost me 20 minutes and a traffic slow-down that added an additional 10 minutes. So... needless to say it was well over 3 hours travel time. Again. This blows. Left at 12:30, arrive at 3:40. It's gotten to the point where I just want to stay home with my cats and not go anywhere.

I'd get drunk to decompress, but I have work in the morning and don't want to be hung over for it.

So instead I went to Cheesecake Factory for Corn Cakes...

No, it doesn't make up for having to leave home.

But it does come close.

Recovering from being deathly sick has never been more fun... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Toast! Awww... my little Toast nightlight arrived!

It's a nightlight that I put in the dark corner of my kitchen next to my toaster. Get it?

   
• Buses? These captchas are getting frickin' stupid ridiculous...

So what? Now we're just supposed to be clicking on every fucking square on these idiotic things?

   
• Good Omens 2! This looks even better than the first one. The casting was note-perfect for these characters, and seeing more of them is something I am very much looking forward to...

It's weird how flawless the casting was for these.

   
• Schlage Rage! It went something like this...
ME: "I hate my Schlage Sense smart lock SO much. Flames... flames... on the side of my face... Which lock should I get to replace it? Preferably one with HomeKey."
HOMEKIT FORUM MEMBER: "Definitely the Schlage Encode Plus."
ME: "IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE?!? I hate hate HATE the Schlage I have now!"
HOMEKIT FORUM MEMBER: "I understand. I agree. But know that all the bad things on the Sense have been improved one thousand percent on the Encode Plus. And be sure to get the Plus if you want HomeKey."
OTHER HOMEKIT FORUM MEMBERS: "Hard agree!"
ME: "Just so you know, if I hate this lock I am coming back to haunt all of you."

   
• Hilarious! Zuckerberg on Apple Pro Vision: "Our vision for the metaverse and presence is fundamentally social. It’s about people interacting in new ways and feeling closer in new ways. Our device is also about being active and doing things. By contrast, every demo that they showed was a person sitting on a couch by themself. I mean, that could be the vision of the future of computing, but like, it’s not the one that I want." This is the stupidest fucking thing I've heard this week. How many times have a GROUP OF PEOPLE all put on their Facebook Quest VR goggles and sat around interacting in the same room? Nah, buddy. They're sitting alone on the couch! How is the Facebook headset more "social" when you're wandering around as a cartoon floating torso that's always gripping hand controllers? Apple at least went with uncanny valley avatars that attempt to look like you and leave your hands free...

Apple's take will cost HUGE MONEY... to start... but it will get cheaper over time. Facebook, who has lost millions (billions?) trying to do VR... and ultimately failing... shows Zuck's statement for what it is... fear. And bullshit. I'm not sure ANY of this is the "future I want." But I'd take Apple's vision over Facebook any day.

   
• Crossing the Street in Vietnam! Not a lie. Which would have been fine... except I had my mom with me, and most intersections are far busier than this one! I'll never forget the first time we went to cross a street. The intersection actually had a crosswalk signal (many don't). But it was totally ignored. We had the light but it made no difference at all... you're just expected to cross like this...

But still... it's s country like no other and worth a visit. As is this guy's TikTok.

   
• Church & State? Okay, government funded Christian schools are a thing now... so are they going to also fund Muslim schools? Buddhist schools? Hindu schools? So much FOR FUCKING SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!! This is a big slap in the face to all Americans, even if they consider themselves "Christian." Absolutely outrageous. Can't wait until the government is forced to sponsor Church of Satan schools because they're so fucking stupid that they don't have the fist clue about the can of worms they are opening. Jesus. OR NOT. THAT'S *YOUR* FUCKING CHOICE IN THIS COUNTRY!!!

   
And now I guess I had better make my bed, take a shower, and try and get some sleep .

I'm burnt, y'all.

It was the annual Fabulous Fourth Weekend Float for my friends and I. This year our Summer came early, so the creek and river were lower than usual. This made it a little tough to go through spots, but it was still a fun float in the end.

How it started...

How it ended... Note that I put on two coats of sun screen, but still got royally burnt...

As usual, there were plenty of awesome dogs floating as well. I never get tired of seeing dogs in life preservers...

And there were a lot of duckies out too...

So... yeah! Another great float in the bag. Even though I'm so wiped from being out in the sun that I think I'm good for the year.

Not that it matters much given how low the river is.

I don't know what's going on with me. My energy is at an all-time low this week.

Which is to say that I have been watching a lot of YouTube videos. Including the entire back-catalog of Eddy Burback videos. One of which is him and another YouTuber driving to every Rainforest Cafe in North America. Of which there are a lot fewer left than I remember.

It's pretty funny...

And this got me to thinking... how many of these things have I been to? They were never a destination to me. Most time I went to one was because I was in town and noticed it, or (more likely) I was in town to visit a Hard Rock Cafe and it was nearby.

Anyway, here's the list I came up with...

• Anaheim, California (Downtown Disney) - CLOSED!
• Atlantic City, New Jersey
• Bay Lake, Florida (Animal Kingdom)
• Bloomington, Minnesota (Mall of America)
• Chicago, Illinois - CLOSED!
• Costa Mesa, California - CLOSED!
• Denver, Colorado - CLOSED!
• Gurnee, Illinois
• Houston, Texas - CLOSED!
• Kowloon, Hong Kong - CLOSED!
• Lake Buena Vista, Florida (Disney Springs)
• Las Vegas, Nevada
• Las Vegas, Nevada (MGM Grand Hotel) - CLOSED!
• London, England - CLOSED!
• Nashville, Tennessee
• Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada
• Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - CLOSED
• Sunrise, Florida (Sawgrass Mills)
• San Antonio, Texas
• San Francisco, California (Fisherman's Wharf) - CLOSED!
• Toronto, Ontario (Yorkdale) - CLOSED!
• Tukwila, Washington - CLOSED!

Wowzers. Twenty-two? That's a lot.

And I think that I ate something at all of them except the London and Costa Mesa locations. In both of those cases, my time was limited and I had Hard Rocks and Planet Hollywoods to visit.

Priorities.

I'm just gutted today.

This morning when I woke up at 5:30am I had a lot of emails with a lot of work attached to them. I set to the tasks at hand and only stopped long enough to feed the cats at 7:00am. 49 minutes later, I got a text telling me that Lahaina, Maui, Hawaii was on fire. And not just a little on fire... a lot on fire. The flames had started to invade downtown along Front Street, and many of the historic buildings were being destroyed.

The news only got worse as the day went on.

The first time I visited Lahaina was in 1987 with friends...

And, up until it caught fire, it never changed that much.

Sure, over the years different businesses have come and gone from the city. Including "Longhi's"... an Italian restaurant with a verbal menu that I loved (and was very sad to have seen closed). And the first Hard Rock Cafe I've ever been to (and was also very sad to have seen closed)...

But, by and large, the one thing you could count on is that Lahaina would be much as you remembered it. I was trying to count up how many times I've been to Maui, and I think it ended up being eleven or twelve times. And I walked down Front Street of Old Lahaina Town at least once every trip. It was a tourist trap for sure, but the restaurants and galleries and shops kept taking me back.

I have a lot of great memories with my friends from the city. And some great memories with my mom as well (I took her along on a couple business trips to Honolulu where we diverted to Maui for a quick vacation). She love poking around Lahaina... and loved eating at "Cheeseburgers in Paradise"...

And I'm trying to wrap my ahead around the fact that it's likely all gone. The historic buildings. The many homes. The shops. The restaurants. The galleries. All of it. And that's really difficult for me to accept.

But it's more than that.

Lahaina is home to a massive banyan tree... one of the largest in the United States. It was brought to Lahaina from India in 1873 and just kept growing and growing. Which means it's been a fixture in the city for 150 years...

Survived 150 years, and is likely gone. Just gone.

I've studied photos of the devastation, but either the tree has been utterly wiped from existence or I'm looking in the wrong place. But, in my defense, it's almost impossible to know what I'm looking at despite having been to the city over a dozen times.

This is a nightmare scenario. But a bigger nightmare could be to come. When they rebuild the city, are they going to try and recapture the charm and uniqueness of the structures? Or will everything be replaced by a bunch of cookie-cutter buildings, condos, and strip malls that destroy the city again?

Time will tell.

As it always does.

I did not sleep much last night.

My head was overwhelmed by the fire in Lahaina (which I talked about yesterday), and I kept grabbing my phone off the nightstand to see if there was any news. Which there really wasn't. Just a few minor updates and repeating the same news over and over.

This afternoon more information started to trickle into the newsfeeds. Apparently the fires are either out... or at least contained... and photos of the devastation are being released. It's a sobering sight to see almost the entirety of a city wiped off the map... and profoundly sad to so many, including myself...

Photo by Richard Olsten/AFP/Getty Images

   
I had mentioned yesterday how heartbroken I was over the 150-year-old Banyan tree which was brought from India and planted in 1873 when it was only 8-feet tall. Eventually it grew and spread to cover an entire city block.

Miraculously, at least some of it seems to have survived. Whether or not it can actually be revived I have no idea, but it would be amazing if at least part of it can be salvaged and allowed to grow out to its former glory...

Photo by Rick Bowmer/AP

Down on the street, things look much more grim for the poor thing, but people have come forward to say that banyan trees are tough to kill, so nobody should be giving up hope just yet...

Photo by Patrick T. Fallon/AFP/Getty Images

I dunno if I'll sleep any better tonight... but at least there's a little hope to cling to, and that ain't nothin'.

Don't worry about all my looming deadlines at work, I still have time for you, dear reader... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• The Bicycle Thief! All this pupper wanted was some pets... even if it was from a bicycle thief...

I hope that the dog didn't run away. That would be worse than losing a bike because your automated garage door opener (likely) screwed up (it's happened to me).

   
• Cat Coaster! I can't get enough of this (here's a link in case Instagram is being a dick)...

I wonder if, from the cat's viewpoint, they feel like this is the real deal? And that has me wondering if it's traumatizing. Though I suppose they could alway jump out.

   
• Virus! Yeah... I'll take all the vaccinations. All of them. SCIENCE, BITCHES!

Even that might be enough to save me, but at least I can say I tried.

   
• Strange New Gorn! Despite a bit of a continuity problem when it comes to the Gorn, the second season finale for Star Trek: Strange New Worlds was incredible...

My mind is still boggling at the thought that this is my favorite Star Trek now. I never, ever thought that anything would eclipse the original series for me.

   
• Florida? The repugnant shit going on in Florida to teach kids that slavery was a good thing because enslaved people learned “job skills” that could be used after emancipation can be easily refuted. But this gentleman vividly illustrates why it’s a bullshit concept that doesn’t deserve any consideration (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

Fuck FOX “News” and their white suprematist agenda forever.

   
• Rao No! Well, shit. Campbell's Soup bought Rao's Homemade sauces. Guess we can kiss that brand goodbye. Like every other great brand that gets bought by a mega-corp, Campbell's is most certainly going to fuck up the recipe with cheaper ingredients so they can squeeze more money out of it. The way Kraft fucked up Boca Burger is still very fresh in my mind. It was good while it lasted, I guess.

If there's one thing you can count on, it's that companies with billions of dollars to throw around will ruin the brands they absorb, despite them always saying "We won't change a thing!" Because do you know how many times this has been promised? Current CEO of Campbell's says "WE WON'T CHANGE THE RECIPE!!!" But then he gets replaced or fired and the new CEO is all "WE MUST USE CHEAPER INGREDIENTS TO GET MORE PROFITS!" and then it's "WE ARE CHANGING THE RECIPE TO REFLECT CURRENT TRENDS" or some such bullshit. I do not believe it for one second. Not one. This has happened an astronomical number of times with a crazy number of brands. Profits are always the focus of these huge companies. ALWAYS. Maintaining the integrity of Rao's isn't the priority. It's a short game to buy the brand and squeeze as much money out of it as they can before they ruin it. And then they're on to the next beloved brand.

   
• RUINED!!! I had to step away from my TikTok "For You Page" for a while, because people who "Had their Maui vacation ruined!" or "Had their Maui wedding ruined!" or what the fuck ever were enraging me to entirely new levels. There was a "social media coach" bitching because her 25th birthday to Honolulu was ruined when her flight was cancelled... SO SHE WENT TO MAUI... and took away much needed resources from people trying to survive the fires. I’m amazed... but not surprised at these assholes. This guy says what I’ve been thinking (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

Sorry about your vacation... but there are people still missing. Have some perspective for crying out loud.

   
And that's a wrap on bullets.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but life is indeed good... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Not Nice! It has been a tough time for Hard Rock properties around the globe. A number of them have closed this year, and last night it was announced that the cafe in Nice will be closed by the end of the week. The cafe itself was kinda boring on the inside, but it was still a nice place with beautiful views...

I visited in 2014. This was the infamous trip where I was hit by the shuttle that took me to the airport. In the end, it's just a restaurant... but I do feel bad for the people who worked there and built a family around it.

   
• Scuttlebutt! Look, there is no denying Halle Bailey's talent. There was a reason she was cast as Ariel in the live-action The Little Mermaid remake, and it had absolutely nothing to do with Disney being fucking "woke" or whatever racist bullshit people are claiming. Because holy crap is she fantastic...

That being said... this was a wholly unneeded remake of a classic film because they didn't try to do anything new or revolutionary with it except add a couple songs (including the gut-wrenchingly awful Scuttlebutt). The sea creatures were scary as fuck because they looked so weird. The guy playing Prince Eric was okay, but has less charisma than his animated counterpart. While I like Awkwafina, she was horrifically miscast as Scuttle (Buddy Hackett made him absent-minded and charming, Awkwafina just made the character stupid?). Melissa McCarthy was good casting, but as much as she relished in the role, she paled in comparison to the late great Pat Carroll as Ursula. Also I agree with the criticism of the makeup...

On the plus side, the special effects were actually pretty great. But that's hardly enough to make it a good use of your time.

   
• Oxygen! Wow. The more you know (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

Science is darn cool.

   
• Nice Dress! It's so simple. Just be kind... and correct where needed to continue to be kind...

Why are there people who would rather be a fucking asshole about it in these situations where it costs $0 to just be kind? I saw this pop up somewhere in social media, and thought how nice it was that this guy's day was made just because somebody wasn't an asshole. Couldn't we all use a little of that?

   
• MangaManga! I gotta say... so far as manga adaptations go, One Piece feels pretty spectacularly faithful. The casting is flawless. And, let's face it, that's where the series was going to live or die. How they found their Monkey D. Luffy is close to a miracle, as Iñaki Godoy is Luffy come to life. And Nami, Shanks, and Zoro are straight out of the books too!

On one of my trips to Japan, the manga was all the rage, so I looked up the English translation when I got back to the US (thanks, Viz!). I've been addicted ever since. The Netflix show makes me want to re-read it from the start.

   
• Circle, Send! If you have ever watched the absurd Reality TV game show on Netflix called The Circle, you know how batshit insane it is. Leave it to Jake Cornell to completely summarize the insanity in a TikTok. This is painfully accurate (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

I swear, some comedians are more brilliantly able to explain things than an entire textbook.

   
• MAX... Prices! Warner Bros. Discovery Says Ongoing Strikes Will Mean $300M-$500M Hit to 2023 Earnings. Guess it's going to be time to raise the subscription price to HBO Max. Again. They don't give a fuck about the people making their content... they sure don't give a fuck about their customers (except how much money they can wring out of us). It's absolute madness how they were bragging about how much money they were going to SAVE because of the strike... and now they're watching people unsubscribe in droves because they raised prices and customers mad about paying more for the new content won't get... so now they're going to LOSE money. Good. Couldn't happen to a nicer conglomerate. Fuck Warner Brothers-HBO-Discovery and and their idiotic fucking leadership who have brought this entirely on themselves. If they sink under their stupidity, that's one less service I'll have to rotate through. Which is fine by me.

   
Enjoy the rest of your Sunday.

As I was driving over the mountains for the Peter Gabriel concert with Jester, a big pickup came roaring up behind me. I was in the passing lane, but I was... A) Actually passing somebody, and B) Wasn't going under the speed limit... so there was no cause for him grinding on my bumper. The speed limit was 70mph, I was passing at 75mph. As what usually happens, the person I was passing increased their speed, which meant I had to increase mine to 80mph... then finally 85mph just so I could finally pass them and get that truck off my ass.

The minute I pulled right again, the truck went blasting past me. Probably flipping me off in the process, because isn't that what these aggressive asshole drivers do? Even when I wasn't doing anything wrong (except exceeding the speed limit so he would get off my ass).

But then?

Sweet Justice.

As we rounded the next corner an unmarked police car was pulling off the side of the road with lights blaring.

And sure enough, I caught up to the pickup that was likely going 90mph as he was pulled over.

Ultimately I don't give a shit if somebody wants to exceed the speed limit (although I think that 20mph over the limit is probably too dangerous a speed to be going). Heck, I bounce around 5mph over myself. But holy crap... is it really necessary to terrorize people on the road to do it? It's not like I was driving in the passing lane under the speed limit and not passing anybody! I was using the lane as it was designed to be used!

Oh well. Assholes will be assholes and all that.

Not so long ago I noted how strange it is to hear about tragedy in a place I've been on Facebook.

Since I've been to a lot of places on this earth, this seems to happen more and more often.

Not so long ago I posted this:

And now this...

For around a decade I had work taking me to Lisbon, Maine.

Twice a year I would fly into Portland then drive up to the city of Auburn, where I always stayed at the Hilton Garden Inn. It's a nice, reasonably-priced location overlooking the Androscoggin River. The region is home to some very nice people (including those that I worked with), and has interesting eateries across the river I enjoyed like She Doesn't Like Guthries and Pedro O’Hara’s*, a Mexican-Irish restaurant.

Also across the river? The city of Lewiston.

If you've been watching the news since Wednesday night, you know why this has been haunting me.

A single shooter with an assault rifle mass-murdered 18 people in two locations in Lewiston, Maine. Needless to say, I had a rough night followed by two rough days wondering if anybody I know was hurt or killed. As of now I am still wondering because I can't bring myself to email anybody to find out. They have enough to deal with, as the shooter is still at large.

This fucking sucks.

My post about Bangkok was 23 days ago. I didn't even have a month to get over that before this happens. And that's just places I am familiar with. There's loads upon loads upon loads of places going through exactly this kind of thing week by week. And I'm mortified that it's just become background noise to me.

Until it's not in the background. Like Lewiston, Maine.

Lewiston may be the second-largest city in Maine after Portland, but it's not a big city. The first shooting at a children's league bowling alley event is just next door to a restaurant I liked. The second shooting at a cornhole competition even bar & grill is just down the street from a McDonald's that I stopped at for breakfast dozens of times. So, yeah, you might say I'm familiar with the area where the shootings occurred. An area where on Wednesday night people were just living their lives, never knowing that 18 of them would end up dead with even more injured.

Which is all kinds of fucked up. Especially when now-a-days you can't even say you're sad that 18 people were murdered without being told you're "anti-gun" or "woke" or whatever other bullshit labels get hurled by assholes lacking any sense of empathy, decency, or compassion. Something I'm getting used to, despite it never making any sense.

Not that anything surrounding mass-murder ever could.

*Sadly, Pedro O'Hara's closed in 2021.

I think I've written a few times about my love for the Yes Theory YouTube channel.

I can't remember where I first heard of it. In all likelihood somebody via the internet... probably even a total stranger... who contacted me through this blog. They see that I loved traveling the world and meeting new people and discovering new things and said something like "You should really check out Yes Theory on YouTube". And so I did. This was many years ago, and I've watched everything they've ever released.

And the members of Yes Theory have meant the world to me. Because they don't just want you to watch, they invite you into their lives and you get to experience everything with them. It hasn't always been an easy road, and there have been many changes over the years.

Which is why this reunion video is so incredibly special to me...

The way Yes Theory looks at the world is how I want the world to be.

I cannot wait to see what happens next.

And if you're looking for a massive dose of positivity in your life, I highly recommend checking out their channel. But be forewarned... if you are remotely human, those videos are addictive. You cannot watch just one.

24/7 Wall Street has published a list of cities with the worst traffic in the USA.

As you may have guessed from reading this blog, this is a subject on which I have very strong feelings. So, naturally, I can't just let this list blow by without commenting. In order to get the ball rolling, I'll just publish my list and discuss entries on their list after. Because I have some serious disagreements. Their only metric is "lost time due to traffic delays" which is a worthy way of looking at it, but I'd argue that an overall statistic is too general to be useful in specific circumstances. If I'm sitting in traffic I'm not thinking "Thank heavens I'm not in Chicago where traffic is worse" because my driving experience in Chicago is specific, not general. Based on my experience, here's my Top 15 (they did 32 cities for some reason)

1. Atlanta (24/7 Rank: 10)
   Here is a classic example of their list's "general timing" being bizarre to me. Because to find traffic worse than Atlanta on my list, I would have to go International. Atlanta is hands-down, without-a-doubt the worst traffic I have encountered in the USA. I remember very well approaching Atlanta from the East Coast only to run into traffic so bad that it took over an hour to get through what should have taken ten minutes. And within the city itself, driving anywhere means you are just fucked. It takes forever to get anywhere. Even if you circumnavigate the city center. From the airport? Fucked. Heading to Marietta? Fucked. There is no way to navigate anywhere near Atlanta without getting fucked.
2. Los Angeles (24/7 Rank: 7)
   The fact that L.A. doesn't appear until the #7 slot makes me dubious about the list to begin with. I'm not questioning that the data is accurate, but I am questioning how it applies to actual people and their driving experience. As anybody who has ever driven in L.A. (or tried to get out of L.A.) will tell you, traffic is a nightmare without end. I have driven from LAX up to The Valley and honest-to-God felt as though I was caught in some kind of time warp where time slows to a crawl. I used to have to drive from Santa Monica down to Anaheim/Santa Ana and would end up screaming... not at anybody in particular, just out of general frustration. I may have taken my driving lessons in Central Washington, but I didn't really learn to drive until I was working in L.A. regularly in the 90's. Traffic has only gotten worse.
3. New York (24/7 Rank: 3)
   Despite the fact that NYC is in the #3 spot, New York is actually not that terrible to get around in. So long as you are using public transport! But if you attempt to drive in any of the five boroughs, you're 100% fucked. I used to drive from whatever airport I arrived in to Manhattan because I often needed to go out of the city on my work trips. I gave up on my fourth trip. I take public transportation out of the city, then rent a car from there. It saves my sanity.
4. Seattle (24/7 Rank: 10)
   Seattle is surrounded on three sides by water. So there is no "ring road" to get around it... and any attempt to get around it by driving around the East Side is an exercise in futility because it's equally bad over there. Couple that with the fact that the streets are always torn up somewhere or other, and the horrific traffic is multiplied to an insane degree. Of all the cities on this list, I drive in Seattle the most often. My breath is taken away every time, because it's just so horrifically bad. Everywhere.
5. Chicago (24/7 Rank: 1)
   Maybe it's because most times I just take the el (elevated train) to get around and only really drive to get to the city from the airport when a car is required, but I don't get the #1 ranking. Even when I do drive within Chicago, it's always seems like normal big-city traffic and not some insurmountable beast. That being said... from the experience I have had driving, I get it. Nothing quite like hitting the same light three and four times to make your blood boil.
6. Boston (24/7 Rank: 2)
   Boston is a very old city which is a massive mess to navigate. For years I would arrive at the airport and drive up to Maine because flying direct into Portland was too expensive, and each time I would be stuck in ungodly traffic even though I was nowhere near central Boston. And God help you if you actually do need to drive in Boston proper because the traffic is a never-ending source of angst. Whenever I would have to navigate the old street layouts and ridiculous routes needed (all while trying to avoid potholes) my anxiety would escalate. I was exhausted at the end of the trip even though it technically "wasn't that terrible." Even so, I don't get the #2 ranking here. If you're a smart driver that can handle it, Boston is far better than Seattle of L.A. to navigate.
7. Miami (24/7 Rank: 5)
   This is one of those cities where your experience very much depends on where you're driving. If you're driving from South Beach to Little Havana, let's say... yeah. The number of cars on the road is absurd. And while that's true for the rest of the city as well, it's to varying degrees. When I was driving from Miami to Palmetto Bay every year in the 90's I didn't think it was all that bad. Maybe it's far worse now? But you could say that about everywhere.
8. San Francisco (24/7 Rank: 6)
   I have driven in San Francisco the second most on this list after Seattle. Yes, the traffic is bad. Yes, navigating the city can be baffling. Yes, there is construction often. Yes, people can be jerks. But traffic-wise? It's busy, but not to the extent of most big cities. Maybe it just seems that way because it's fairly compact? Like Seattle, the city is surrounded by water on three sides, which makes it impossible to improve things much, but driving the Bay Area never caused me more anxiety than the cities above.
9. Washington D.C. (24/7 Rank: 8)
   Yeah... it's pretty bad. But not as bad as it could be if you know the streets to avoid. Some of it is, of course, unavoidable, but I've been all over D.C. and just don't find it to be bad enough for the #8 ranking. Seattle, San Francisco, and Atlanta are exponentially worse in my experience. It's been six years since I've driven there, so maybe it's gotten a lot worse... but what cities haven't gotten much worse?
10. Philadelphia (24/7 Rank: 4)
    Philly traffic got so frustrating to me that I ended up refusing to drive there, and stopped renting cars because my blood pressure would become so elevated that I considered it a health risk. So I totally understand it landing in the #4 spot. That being said... worse than Atlanta?!?? Are you kidding me? Philadelphia has serious problems when it comes to traffic, but it's an absolute cakewalk compared to Atlanta! For one thing, navigation doesn't seem to be as bad, which maybe makes the traffic not seem so bad to me. I don't know. But the fact I refuse to drive in the city and use taxis/public transport is still very telling.
11. Houston (24/7 Rank: 11)
    Houston is problematic to me in so many ways... but the traffic doesn't even rank in the top five reasons I am not thrilled to have to go there. But it is still a very large problem. Most times when I am in Houston for work, I have to drive out to some location in the burbs, and getting in and out of the city makes that a problem because the roads are jammed at all the wrong times. Many times I will just circumnavigate the horrors of downtown to get from the airport to my destination, but then if you want to experience the many terrific restaurants in the city, you have a choice to make. Do I really want to have a Hillstone veggie burger that bad? Unfortunately, the answer is most often "yes," and the fact that the restaurant is not even in the worst traffic in Houston won't save you because it's still bad. And don't get me started on the parking. San Francisco is the absolute worst... don't ask my why Houston is nearly as bad. I honestly don't understand it. Maybe I hang out at all the wrong places?
12. New Orleans (24/7 Rank: 9)
    Driving in New Orleans can absolutely test your patience. Especially if you're foolish enough to attempt to drive through the tourist-heavy regions like The French Quarter. My most hated drive, however, is the one to and from the airport. Not sure why they can't do something to improve this... probably a question of money... but I would have a much more favorable impression of the city if this route weren't so dang slow.
13. Portland (24/7 Rank: 13)
    This is highly dependent on where you are driving. The outskirts of the city are usually not that bad, but anywhere else... especially from the airport... can be a serious challenge. Oddly enough, the city proper is hit-or-miss, and many times I've driven it weren't terrible at all. This is also time-dependent, I think. But, yeah, rush hour is a mess and there is some weirdness to navigate certain areas, so it's understandable how traffic can seriously put a damper on your transit times.
14. San Diego (24/7 Rank: 18)
    It's not just San Diego proper... it's the entire region. To the South is a mess because there's border traffic. To the north is a mess because there's limited corridors and popular cities like La Jolla and Del Mar are there (not to mention Los Angeles!). Going East isn't quite as bad (I had work in Spring Valley that I'd drive to)... but the rest? Disastrous. And I don't truly understand why that is. Sure there's a lot of people and it's between to high-traffic destinations, but even in the city proper it can take a long time to really get anywhere. I've drive in San Diego more times than I can count and found traffic to be a problem most every time. Maybe it's just California?
15. Austin (24/7 Rank: 17)
    Not only can Austin be a complete bear to navigate, but the public transportation is fucked. I have had busses blow past me many times despite the stop being on their route. Not just once... many times. It seems as though drivers only stop if there's enough people waiting to be worth their time? I have no idea. When it comes to driving Austin proper, it probably doesn't actually deserve my final spot... it's busy but not prohibitively so... but I'm putting here anyway because the busses piss me off that much.

One of these days I should make a list that includes foreign cities. But I don't know that my heart could handle even the memory of some of these places!

The first half of the "final season" of The Crown dropped on Netflix last week. The four episodes are entirely devoted to Princess Diana's final days and death, and anything to do with The Crown is largely ancillary. Sure you've got Prince Charles struggling to get his relationship with Camilla legitimized with both Her Majesty The Queen and the public at large, but make no mistake... this is the Diana Show. She's stealing the headlines. She's driving the narrative. It's her world and everybody else is just living in it.

Which is very much as I remember it.

Diana is a fascinating person. And admirable. She tried to use her fame for a number of good causes (the two most famous being compassion and understanding of people with AIDS and the global removal of landmines, but she also advocated for the homeless, shined a spotlight on the struggle of people living in poverty, and supported numerous cancer charities... to name a few). That she also dared to try and build a life for herself and find happiness bothers an awful lot of people, which is profoundly sad.

A sympathy that The Crown definitely shares.

Right up until her death in the third episode.

Although the story that Netflix is telling has been refuted on several fronts. The foremost of which being that Mohamed Al-Fayed was the driving force behind his son Dodi Fayed and Diana's romance and, by further extension, is responsible for their death since he set up the infamous photos that escalated the paparazzi frenzy. Every photographer wanted their million dollar payday, and that ultimately resulted in tragedy.

It's just speculation.

Which, from the beginning, is all The Crown really has.

And yet we watch it anyway.

I've mentioned how I was eating breakfast and watching television before driving to the airport for work on August 31st, 1997. The morning the news broke here about the car accident in Paris. When I got to Seattle, it was being reported that all three passengers had perished. Then, as I was waiting, it was reported Diana was still alive. As I was boarding my flight to Orlando, there was serious confusion as to whether she had died or not.

After landing, all the televisions were reporting the sad news of her passing.

It didn't really register.

Not until the next day. My work was at one of the Disney World hotels. I had finished up my first meeting and went to Epcot for lunch with a friend in "Italy." I was early, so I walked counter-clockwise to pop by the France Pavilion for a pastry first. To get there, you have to pass through the pavilions for Canada and The United Kingdom. Which is to say "A member country of The British Commonwealth and The United Kingdom."

And since Disney endeavors to make each country's pavilion be as authentic as possible, the staff is populated by people from those countries. And they were grieving far from home. Far from the people who could truly comprehend what they were feeling.

Though the people at Disney World that day were far from unsympathetic. Flowers were piled around the UK Pavilion just as they had been back at Kensington Palace. The usual murmur and laughter was greatly muted.

Then you'd cross the bridge to the France Pavilion... and everything was back to normal.

Or as normal as it could be considering a person loved and admired around the world was gone.

In the end, I think The Crown could have ended with Season 05 and we'd all have been better off. The wild speculation about Diana in Season 06 serves no purpose. It's not even very entertaining. And the drama surrounding The Royal Family was already portrayed far better by the 2006 movie The Queen.

Not that Netflix hasn't wasted money on useless programming before, but this time it just seems so unneeded.

It's easy to fall in love with art. At least it is to me.

Art is such a big part of my life that I do what I can to experience it. Whether it's driving over to Seattle to see a new art installation, or flying to Columbus, Ohio to see a Kehinde Wiley exhibit, or visiting every art museum I possibly can while traveling the world... art brings joy to my life.

But it's not just museums where you find art. It's all around us.

I've mentioned a couple times that I've collected bank notes I find whenever I'm in foreign countries. Some are interesting. Some are clever. And some are just incredibly beautiful. Like the notes that the Netherlands had before converting to the Euro. I marveled at them whenever I visited the country.

And finally somebody talked about it...

Fascinating, isn't it?

There's nice art on the various Euro notes as well, but I haven't seen anything that approaches what they used to have in Dutchyland.

With winter arriving, the roads are going through this cycle of snow, slush, and ice that's not a big deal if you know what you're doing... but it's a definite challenge if you don't. And there's some people who definitely do not. The trick is to make sure that you don't get into trouble because they get into trouble. It's always been tricky, but in a day-and-age when people can't seem to get off their phones, it's worse. Washington State has a "distracted driving" law, but it doesn't seem to make much difference.

But anyway...

Yesterday was a bit of a rain day which melted the snow we got over the weekend into slush. The slush managed to pull a car off the road, which wasn't anything serious, but it did get me thinking about how this is going to be happening more and more over the next three months or so.

Hopefully that's the worst of it all this year.

The thing about driving over the mountains is that you never know what you're going to get. In the Summer, they can have construction going on that delays you up to an hour. In the Winter, the weather can be bad which delays you up to an hour. Now, it sounds as though the weather component would be a bigger problem. Historically, that's certainly been the case. But now-a-days? You are far, far more likely to be delayed by road construction in Summer. Snow removal is actually very, very good, which keeps roads open. On top of that? We just don't get snow like we used to.

I remember driving over in the 90's where the roads had to be carved out of massive amounts of snow. It would be piled on the sides of the road so high that it towered over you. It was wild. And more than a little scary. But that rarely happens now. Sure there are days that the mountains get loads of snow... but it's just not the problem it once was.

Today's drive over the mountain was just... pretty... as shown in these shots taken from my dashcam...

There was only snow on the roads at the top of the mountain pass.

Not that this stopped some people from driving ten miles under the speed limit on essentially clear (albeit wet) roads. Because of course it doesn't.

That's something you can count on regardless of weather.

As I mentioned on Saturday, driving over the mountains is always a crapshoot in my neck of the woods. My drive Seattle-side was a piece of cake. A beautiful drive, actually. No complaints.

The drive home, however?

Kinda maybe I guess?

The most direct path that I drove on Saturday was now "Traction Tires Required" with chains required only for trucks. I have very good tires, so that didn't bother me. The idea that people who have zero clue how to drive on snow, slush, and patches of ice would likely bother me very much, however... so I took a less direct route over two mountain passes which were both listed as being "bare and wet". Sure it takes 30 minutes longer to drive that... but it would likely be a lot less aggravating, and possible safer as well.

The first pass was great because there are multiple lanes. Very easy to pass those wanting to go 20 miles under the speed limit for some reason (as seen by my dashcam)...

But the second pass has a single lane most of the time. You get an extra lane going up the pass in either direction, but if you're coming down the pass and the person ahead of you is going 20 miles under the speed limit... then you're going 20 miles under the speed limit as well...

This wouldn't have aggravated me much... if not for the fact that I had to pee really, really bad the last hour of my trip behind somebody who was behind somebody driving painfully slow for no reason.

Oh well.

I made it home without peeing my pants, although my cats were pretty upset that I waddled past them to the bathroom without giving them pets.

I've traveled through The South many, many times.

And I don't just mean I took a few vacations to New Orleans and Disney World and flew into Atlanta for work, then flew back home (though I did that too). No. I've been around. I've driven between Austin, Dallas, and Houston a lot. I've driven around Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, and Florida a crazy number of times. And it's not just the major cities. I've stopped in numerous small cities and towns in those states and also on drives through Kentucky, Tennessee, and North and South Carolina.

So, yeah, my familiarity with The South is far from a passing one.

Which is why I howled when I saw this (NSFW: here's a link in case TikTok is being a jerk)...

This is painfully accurate.

Because when I break out the "All y'all" this is where my head is at.

I am banging this entry out early because I have a house to clean, but better early than ever... because an all new Very Special YouTube Edition of Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Strangers! The meat of this excellent video story is about 10 minutes long. It is absolutely worth your valuable time to watch. Especially if you want to know what this experiment we call "life" is all about...

I've seen feature-length movies that didn't work this hard. Brilliant.

   
• Crash! Remember when police officers stood on the driver's side to talk to you when you get pulled over? Thank heavens they changed procedure and switched to the passenger side, or this officer would have certainly been killed...

Wild. It's just wild to watch it happen. Even more wild that nobody as hurt. And you have to wonder what happened. Was somebody looking at their phone or what?

   
• We Are the World! It's interesting how USA for Africa came together. I mean, not shocking because it's pretty much what you'd expect, but it's exciting to watch as the dominoes started to fall and people were getting involved. If you have Netflix, this documentary is gold. Especially if you like music...

I actually think there was likely enough material to make a second part, because the stories behind having so many legends in a single room are undoubtedly endless.

   
• Power! On Friday I mentioned the Marques Brownlee Waveform Podcast where they were talking about the Apple Vision Pro, and they mentioned a relaxing "game" called Powerwash Simulator. I played this at a friend's house, but don't actually own it, so I had no idea what all it contains. Basically, you select a dirt object in the game, then power wash it until it's clean. That's it. When you wash all the dirt and grime off the object you selected, you finish the job and "win." It turns out that one of the things you can wash is the Perseverance Mars Rover! I've fast-forwarded to that part of this review (5:45 minutes)...

And look! The Ingenuity Mars Helicopter is there too! How cool is that? If I had a Vision Pro and Powerwash Simulator was available, I'd buy it just for this.

   
• Attendant! I learned very early on when I was flying constantly about how being a flight attendant works. There are all kinds of excuses as to why their pay doesn’t start until the cabin door closes, usually having to do with making sure that their maximum legal hours worked doesn’t expire in mid-flight after a delay. But it’s all bullshit. I 1000% support flight attendants earning a living wage for the work they do, and excuses are just excuses. Airlines can find a way to pay these hard-working people fairly for the work they do...

   
• HOT! Hot Ones is a surprisingly deep interview that runs at a brisk pace while buying into an absurd concept of eating hot sauce. And regardless of how you feel about John Oliver and his politics, he has some really funny moments... and some surprisingly astute observations... that aren't straying into political territory...

It just goes to show that John Oliver has some very smart takes the go beyond politics.

   
• Tay Tay Today! The bat-shit insane conspiracy theories that Fox "News" is drumming up over Taylor Swift don't concern me. It's the fact that some of their viewers actually buy into the conspiracy theories. They don't even make any fucking sense. Like if Taylor Swift says anything AT ALL that's political, she's an evil Biden puppet. But all the "musicians" who show up on Fox "News" to talk Conservative politics are real patriots? Jesus Christ. Taylor Swift hasn't said shit. But apparently Conservatives are shitting their pants over the idea that she could, and so they want to jump in front of it. Anyway... Seth Meyers has a look down the rabbit hole of Taylor's existence, and it's worth a closer look...

Anymore doesn't our reality seem like a fucking bad movie?

At the beginning of each year I don't make resolutions. Instead I make a list of dreams for the next 365 (366 in 2024) days. I'm not talking about pie-in-the-sky dreams of unrealistic fantasy that are unachievable, but dreams which can actually happen. High on that list is that Taylor Swift continue to trigger people in all the best ways. Because apparently this is something that is badly needed. And you know what? January just ended and I'm just going to check that one off my list. Whether she's just existing... or watching her boyfriend play football... or she's being accused of being a demon in league with satan... she triggers more ridiculous people on a daily basis than I could ever hope for. And I love you for that, Taylor!

   
Now I need to get back to cleaning my wreck of a house. See you next Sunday with more bullets.

I love languages almost as much as I love travel.

I watch a lot of videos and follow a lot of accounts which talk about languages, so "The Algorithm" is constantly feeding me more language content. Which just goes to show that it's not all bad, because cool stuff like this is what I want to see on the internet...

This guy is awesome! I love people who know things.

I missed two on the list. The same one he did #10 (which I wouldn't have thought of, even with three strikes available) and #9... which I should have thought of, but I didn't because I wasn't thinking of the other countries that also speak it (which is silly because I absolutely knew this).

For somebody who loves languages as much as I do, you'd think that I speak a slew of them. You'd think wrong, unfortunately. But it's not for lack of trying...

• German. My great grandmother spoke German, so I thought it would be fun to learn how to speak it. This would be in Middle School, and I have long since forgotten all but the basics, which is sad because I've been to Germany a lot.
• Spanish. Studied it in high school. I still use a bit from time to time, but to say "I speak Spanish" would be a gross overstatement. I dabble. And I can understand it being spoken far easier than trying to speak it myself.
• Japanese. I studied it because I love Japanese cartoons and comics and wanted to try and understand Japanese language and culture so that the anime/manga would be more enjoyable. This was an off-and-on endeavor during high school. But then became an obsession when I started traveling to Japan for work and to see friends I had made. For a while in the early 90's I was fairly fluent. I could hold my own in a basic conversation so long as people weren't speaking too fast. Now-a-days? I have a tough time remembering much of anything. A lot of words, but grammar has gone right out the window.
• French. I loved the idea of being able to speak French, but it was way past my ability to grasp. Five or six months before my second trip to Paris, I did nothing but listen to Pimsleur language tapes. It was a wasted effort. I managed to speak basic phrases and be understood, but it never really gelled, and my comprehension was awful so I gave up. On the plus side the French people, who have a reputation for being "rude," were incredibly nice and supportive of my feeble efforts in mangling their lovely language. I never met a single French person who was anything but kind to me.
• Italian. I started studying Italian once my Japanese was pretty good. I wanted a second language and thought it might be an easier alternative to French. My passion for visiting Italy and eating Italian food sealed the deal. It was nice to be able to have basic conversational skills (especially the three times I took my mom) but I didn't use it enough to really have it take 'hold.
• Swedish. For my first trip to Sweden, I studied really, really hard to learn the language. I had this fantasy that I would be all cool and be able to chat up hot Swedish women. I tried it out on some friends I was meeting and was immediately told "English is fine, please don't do that." Because of course their English was better than mine. I think I remember maybe five words.
• Portuguese. During the time I spent visiting Spain (5 times in 6 years), it was always my goal to tag on a trip to Lisbon. And so I did. I wanted to have a little bit of Portuguese in my head so I could enjoy it more, and studied quite a lot. Alas, the people I tried to speak to had zero interest in entertaining me. They'd even pretend to not understand me... even when I was certain that I was pronouncing everything correctly. I gave up on that real quick.
• Russian. After visiting countries like Poland and Romania where I was at a serious disadvantage by not knowing any of the language (English is not as ubiquitous as in other European countries), I decided that I would study Russian before a planned trip to St. Petersburg in 2013. I was not going to mess up an architectural dream-trip by not being able to communicate. So for nine months I studied. Which was insanely difficult because Russian, which I was told would be easier than Japanese, is not a simple language for Westerners to wrap their head around. But I pushed through and... had a visa problem and only made it as far as Helsinki. St. Petersburg would have to wait. Then, eight years later, I had a work opportunity where knowing Russian would be helpful so I started looking at it again. I'm far from fluent because... well, unless you're born speaking it, Russian is just next-level tough. But I have built a bit of a vocabulary and am not entirely helpless, so that's nice. I'm probably going to stick with it for a while because the difficulty gives my brain a workout and can hopefully keep me sharp in my declining years.

And that's it. Studied a lot, know nothing. The story of my life, really.

If I had tons more time to spare and the brainpower to handle it, I'd love to learn Mandarin. That seems as if it would be a real door-opener when it comes to work projects. And of course visiting India is still sitting on my bucket list, so learning Hindi would also be nice. Realistically, however? English, a smattering of Japanese, and Russian is probably it for me.

The snow has all melted, and ... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Mean It! It’s a beautiful song to begin with. But when LANY's lead singer comes in with that hook at 2:47... how do collaborations like this happen? It’s perfect...

Can't believe this track is off Lauv's debut album.

   
• Winner! (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

I hope he at least didn't have to pay.

   
• Patagonia! I don't have very many regrets in life. But the few I do usually revolve around missed opportunities when it comes to travel. Not having been to India yet is something that I very much regret, for example. But bigger regrets are having gone places but not having enough time to see and experience more of the area. My photo expedition to Antarctica was incredible. A true bucket-list-worthy item that I will remember forever. And yet... I sure wish I would have had more time so I could visit Patagonia. But I had new kittens back home that I worried about. A mom in a memory care facility that I worried about even more. And two weeks away was already more than I could take (or afford).

   
• Streaming Services Are Shit! Cutting cable/satellite was one of the happiest things I ever did. I fucking HATED having to buy bundles that included channels I would never watch and commercials I was forced to suffer through on top of the huge monthly bill. Streaming allowed me to pay for exactly what I wanted to watch and was ad-free. Then, fast-forward to today, and we're back to bundles and fucking ads (unless you pay an absurd amount of money to get rid of them. Not only that, but the amount of content you get is shit too. Which brings us to this...

God. It's so bad that I'm to the point where I subscribe to one service ad-free each month, cancel it, then move on to the next ad-free service. And I know I'm not alone. It used to be that I cared about supporting services that produced content I wanted to watch by subscribing every month. Now I don't give a shit. Fuck 'em. I will pay when there's something they have that I want to watch. For the rest, I pay for YouTube Premium, which is ad-free and has endless content. That's enough.

   
• Marvel! Today I watched Assembled: The Making of The Marvels and am sad all over again that the movie underperformed. I love Brie Larson as Captain Marvel. Her first movie was SO good. Her part in Avengers: Endgame was flawless. And while there were some serious problems with The Marvels, it was still very entertaining. I loved the power-switching concept that drove it. — I want to see Captain Marvel again. I need more Carol Danvers. I hope that Marvel Studios brings her back somehow. And Photon. Teyonah Parris is a frickin' gift. How awesome would it be to get a limited series which explores her light powers in a cool and interesting way. And of course Ms. Marvel. I didn't particularly care for her limited series, but she was absolute gold in The Marvels. That Iman Vellani could capture the wonder of what her character was experiencing so perfectly is the heart of the entire film...

But my favorite part of the documentary was Laura "LOOK AT ME, I'M WACKY" Karpman on sound design. Makes me want to re-watch the movie just to have a better appreciation for her work on it. And of course I thought the special effects were glorious. =sigh= I am so bummed that super-hero movies are imploding. I love love loved having so much content and watched it all. I would love to have a new Marvel movie every month. Like the comics. But now it's all being scaled back, and there's really nothing out there to replace it for me. I waited so long for something like the MCU to happen. I don't want it to end.

   
• Housed! It is so weird having spent a month watching every episode of House and now it’s over. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that there are no more episodes to watch. But anyway… the final season was a bit of a mess, but I loved the show. Ten thoughts… 1) I think it’s probably a good thing that the show didn’t have a ninth season. They did everything, and it was time. There’s only so many times you can say “sarcoidosis.” 2) That being said, I want a spin-off with Chi Park. I love her character and want more. Even though they didn’t know what to do with her, and came up with the idiotic Chase love scenario. 3) I missed Cameron after she left. But Cuddy was the one that I cannot believe wasn’t there for the last season… and the way they got rid of her was insulting and stupid. 4) Robert Sean Leonard better have gotten an award for playing Wilson, because damn. 5) I think that Omar Epps probably didn’t get enough credit for his role. He was memorable despite his character being buried most of the time. 6) While I loved Taub when he was in doctor mode, they spent WAY too much time on his stupid personal life. 7) Thirteen was my favorite character. Partly because they made her so interesting, but mostly because Olivia Wilde played her so beautifully. 8] The saddest moment to me was Kutner, not Wilson, because Kutner was all reactions by the characters, and we will never know what he was feeling. 9) I would have liked to get more of the detective guy, Lucas. He was just so… together… and I love that they didn’t feel the need to make him a mess like everybody else. 10) I really do think that the writers backed themselves into a corner with Greg House. It’s like they felt him being a mess was his only quality, and he never really gave him the opportunity to be anything else (even when he was with Cuddy). Fortunately, Hugh Laurie was just so GOOD in the role that it didn’t matter. He made the character fascinating to watch no matter how much the writers were intent on sabotaging him. — BUT ANYWAY... A really good show that I’m kinda sad I didn’t watch as it was airing, because that way it probably wouldn’t have seemed as repetitive with the medical diagnosis jargon. GRADE: A- (though the final season was probably more of a C+).

   
Until next Sunday then.

Blergh. Had to drive to Spokane today.

The older I get, the more driving three hours straight wipes me out. I can get through it just fine, but once I arrive I'm beat. You can pretty much write off the rest of the day (which is why I drive over the day before work starts).

But anyway... near the start of my journey, there's always a decision to be made...

Now, 20 years ago... even 10 years ago... there was no question I would be turning right. Of course I would! I can save 15 minutes or more! And I've got a dedicated passing lane! Why wouldn't I?

But now? It's a genuine dilemma.

Yeah, still I want to get there as quickly as possible. But I'm resistant to "boring" now that I'm in my declining years. I don't want to spend my remaining years driving through "boring." So I turned left so I get to see things like this...

Dean's is a famous burger stop about a half-hour outside of Spokane. It looks like they got tired of repairing the roof, said "fuck it," and decided it was easier to build a massive canopy over everything. I stopped for fries and a huckleberry shake a few times, but it had shuttered so I couldn't this time (apparently I missed it by 5 months, since they closed last September). Sad. I'm guessing that they could never recovered from COVID like so many restaurants that closed.

But anyway...

When I got to Spokane I threw everything into my hotel room, then had to make a beeline for River Park Square so I could get a replacement power adaptor. Apparently my ancient one that's been around the world with me decided to die.

By now I was tired and hungry, so I decided I would just eat at the upscale burger chain across the street. I don't particularly like them, but I know they have food options for me, so whatever. I went in. Waited and waited and waited. Finally went into the bar. Was told to sit anywhere, which I did. The wait staff proceeded to wait on two tables that came in AFTER me... then decided to check on other tables before I even got a menu. Well fuck that, I left. Instead I decided to get an Impossible Whopper, but the Burger King I knew was shuttered when I got there. So I decided to drive along the main drag to see if anything appetizing jumped out at me, and ended up at... a different Burger King! Which thrilled me, because the Impossible Whopper I had was twice as delicious and half the cost if I had gone to the fancy place.

INTERESTING TO NOTE: In addition to the accident on the highway to the right that was so bad that it jammed up the highway I took on the left, where there ended up being another accident. Then there was another on the way to Burger King... and another on the way back that was really, really bad (don't run red lights, kids).

Spokane must have more auto accidents per capita than anywhere else in the USA. And so now I am back at my hotel and feeling dead, which is not great because I have to be on-site early in the morning. Fortunately, the gift shop had ice cream DIBs, which I totally deserve after this shitty day I've had.

I wonder what the odds are that I'll get a good night's sleep tonight?

Work lasted quite a bit longer than expected, which was fine except it meant that I didn't get home until dark. Driving in the dark is something that I don't find as thrilling as I once did, which means that I value the precious light for as long as it lasts.

EVEN WHEN IT IS SHINING DIRECTLY IN YOUR FACE!

But it does make for some pretty scenery when you look to the side though...

I did get to have some of the greatest pizza on earth though, so there's that.

And... well... yeah. Home again. And exhausted.

But I'm having leftover pizza for dinner.

And for breakfast tomorrow. And probably lunch too. Because I bought a whole, giant, extra pizza to bring back with me.

Which is the nicest memory I have of the trip considering that the "upgraded river view" that I was given ended up being this...

I need sleep.

It always amazes me how people think that the entirety of a country wholeheartedly believes in their government and supports them in everything they do.

And it's like... do YOU wholeheartedly believe in YOUR government and support THEM in everything THEY do?

No?

So why should it be any different in other countries?

I've never found this to be true in any place on this earth I've visited. Yes, some countries have a government that better represents the majority of the people they serve, but even then there will be those who don't agree with what's being done in their name. But here's the thing... no matter where I've been, I've always been able to find a way to relate to my fellow earthlings, at least in general.

I have been warmly invited into the home of a man who hates America. Literally. Would not cry a single tear if the country would implode after the way our government meddled in the affairs of his country. And I'm not imagining things here. He actually said it to me with a smile on his face. But he doesn't hate Americans. At all. Just our government (for which I think he pities us)... and, to be fair, he has justification for it.

But, once invited into his home, the politics of our countries never came up. We talked about our lives, our work, our families, where we live, and a dozen other topics that resulted in smiling faces and laughter. Because, at the bottom of it all, we are both human.

Too many people in too many countries are losing sight of this very basic fact, and it doesn't bode well for humanity. There is history which makes relations between some peoples difficult... very difficult, even... but it's never impossible.

Person to person, anyways.

I drank tea and had a great chat with a guy who despises my country with fervor. I guess miracles can happen. When governments are left at the door.

I've mentioned more than a few times here, I try really hard to not have regrets in life (okay, I've probably mentioned it several times... give me a break, I've been blogging for over 20 years!). It's just not worth it to pine away over something you did or didn't do, something you said or didn't say, or somewhere you went or didn't go. Just be happy with what you got out of this life and not worry about the rest. It happened. Or didn't. What more can you do without the ability to travel in time?

That being said...

This is not to say that there aren't things I wish could have happened or not happen for one reason or another. Missed opportunities, if you will.

As an example... I really wish I had visited the Aspen Hard Rock Cafe when it was open. It would have been so easy to do. So easy that I kept putting it off so I could hit the more difficult ones in foreign countries. But then the cafe closed with little warning and my plan to visit every US cafe evaporated. That really sucked. It haunted me for years. Now-a-days, when I've pretty much given up on visiting Hard Rock properties, it's like... meh.

As another example... I really wish that I had visited the infamous "Star Wars Hotel" (AKA Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser) at Walt Disney World in Florida. I'm a huge Star Wars nerd, and the immersive properties of the hotel seemed like something I would have enjoyed. But it was ungodly expensive, and I just couldn't afford it. My plan was to wait until the newness wore off and the price would (hopefully) drop a bit when Disney needed to draw in more visitors.

Except rather than lower the price when they weren't getting enough visitors, Disney CLOSED THE HOTEL! I was bummed. Just like the Aspen Hard Rock, I had missed my opportunity forever.

And then I saw this video by one of my favorite YouTubers, Jenny Nicholson, detailing her totally fucked and busted experience at the doomed attraction. It's four hours, but time well-spent...

Holy shit!

Thank God I didn't have thousands of dollars to throw away on this awful experience. Knowing my luck, I'd end up with a worse stay than Jenny, and it's not like Disney is going to give you your money back if they failed to accomplish what they promise. At least I assume that's the case. If you go to one of their theme parks and an attraction you were dying to ride is broken down, you don't get part of your ticket price back. Unless you're an influencer with huge social media reach, apparently.

So, yeah, absolutely no regrets when it comes to Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser.

As it should be.

Back in 2001, Disneyland finally got a second park. Walt Disney World had gotten a second park in 1982 (Epcot), a third in 1989 (Hollywood Studios), and a fourth in 1998 (Animal Kingdom)... so it was a long time coming. The difference being that Walt Disney World has vast amounts of land to expand, whereas Disneyland doesn't. Sure, there's going to be a planned expansion to the Disneyland Hotel side of the street, but it's just not a lot of land because there's hotels there. Nope... whatever was going to end up across from Disneyland was the only shot they had at doing something truly spectacular.

But instead we got California Adventure...

Filled with a bunch of cheap, boring, off-the-rack rides that were themed to the idea of "California," the park was hardly worth waiting for. It was shit. I mean, seriously, Superstar Limo?!? My God. Disney had so badly lost its way that one can't help but think that Walt Disney himself would be disgusted in what's been attached to his name.

The exception being the fantastic attractions Soarin' Over California and the California Screamin' coaster, which were the only reason to waste your time walking over from Disneyland. An argument could be made that Twilight Zone Tower of Terror was also an exception, but it was a seriously dumbed-down version of the spectacular original from Walt Disney World, so I disagree.

But anyway...

Disney found out immediately by the overwhelmingly negative response to their cheap-ass abomination that they done fucked up (I made a special trip to see it and was livid that it was such a waste of time and money). You can't make a theme park on the cheap and expect people will embrace it just because you slapped the Disney name on it. They were forced to start revising things almost immediately, then announced a major renovation in 2007, just six years after it opened.

Eventually we got "Cars Land" which had the excellent Radiator Springs Racers, and "Pixar Pier" which had the fun Toy Story Midway Mania but that was it. Everything else that they've slapped on this massive failure has been mediocre to awful.

The nerfed Twilight Zone Tower of Terror became Guardians of the Galaxy Mission Breakout, which was okay, I guess. But they slapped it in the middle of "Avengers Campus" which is horrifically bad. This new "land" was ill-conceived and, shocker, cheap.

California Screamin' got re-themed to The Incredibles' Incredicoaster which is so cheap as to be embarrassing. They just plopped a bunch of static characters around the coaster, including the infamous Jack-Jack "babies on sticks" and Violet's disembodied head, and took away many of the things that made California Screamin' such a fun coaster. Which is to say that it was a massive downgrade.

Despite being a cheap-ass park, California Adventure was at least thematically cohesive. They did their best to actually adhere to the concept of "California" and make sure that everything was beautifully-appointed and had good flow. But now? It's a disjointed, incohesive mess that keeps having less and less to do with California. An obvious re-skin done on the cheap with precious few good attractions (and that beautiful World of Color show) to make it worth visiting.

So what to do?

The Pixar Pier section of California Adventure is the place for all things Pixar... but not including the Cars movies or the Monsters, Inc. movies, which both have rides in other sections of the park. Which begs the question... why not just convert the entire park to become Pixarland... the perfect compliment to Disneyland. But stop being so fucking cheap about it.

Build out a cohesive game plan for how the park "lands" should be defined and how they flow into each other [Cars Land, Toy Story Pier, Monsterstropolis (the Monster's, Inc. city), Metroville (the Incredibles city) etc., this is not rocket science]. Then go attraction by attraction to revise or replace the cheap crap and turn it into something Disney-worthy. Start with Incredicoaster... re-track it to not be so rough, then make it worth being associate with Disney by adding animatronics and decent effects instead of babies on sticks and other stupid crap. Then move on to the next. Then the next.

No idea how to integrate Soarin' (which was ruined when they turned it to "Around the World" instead of "California") but Imagineers are clever. Maybe it could be a ride where you're soarin' like the house in Up or something. Avengers Campus can just be scrapped entirely. And if you can slap a Guardians of the Galaxy Band-Aid on Tower of Terror, then how hard is it to do it again with a Pixar property? Doing a Coco-themed drop-ride that takes you through a colorful adventure through the Land of the Dead could be so cool. And can you imagine if the rest of Avengers Campus was turned into the city of Santa Cecilia that's celebrating Día de Muertos (Day of the Dead) 365 days a year? Make it colorful and fun... so cool...

I dunno. Maybe Pixarland isn't the answer... but there's gotta be an answer somewhere. Because right now California Adventure has very little to do with California and is a cheap, shitty park that nobody want's to bother with because there's limited E-Ticket experiences and precious little Disney magic to be had.

Disneyland deserves better.

As do Disney parks fans.

Back before the charity I worked with shut down, I was traveling quite a lot. My work very generously allowed me to work while on the road, so I was able to volunteer at places all over while still earning a living. This morning as I was digging through my messy desk to find some documents I needed, I ran across the travel schedule I had for 2019. The last trip listed was a quick overnight to Las Vegas in September. And that's what I've always told people was my last travel as a volunteer.

Except it wasn't.

But I'll get to that in a second.

After finding my schedule, I was racking my brain trying to remember what that last trip was about. It couldn't have been as a "handler" (making arrangements for a wealthy donor and being at their beck and call while they were in town) because that would have certainly taken more than one night. I don't think it was a presentation, so my guess is that I had to pick up a check... or get something signed... or meet for recruitment... or any of a dozen things that took me to Vegas 5 to 6 times a year.

I ran to this blog to see if I had left a hint about it or even mentioned where I was in Sin City, but it was apparently so uneventful that I never even mentioned having went.

Then I clicked forward a month to October of 2019.

And there it was... a trip to New Orleans. I flew out on the 6th, worked the 7th, then flew back home on the 8th. An entire trip to my favorite American city that I had completely forgotten about.

Although, like Las Vegas, I've been to New Orleans so many times that I've lost count. And since I wasn't there on vacation or to meet up with friends or anything exciting, it's not surprising that I wouldn't remember having gone. Work is work, even when you travel to do it, and that's usually nothing to write home about. Something that only people who have to travel for work will ever really understand, because most people think that traveling for work is a non-stop vacation. Which it most definitely is not.

And that was the end of that.

Just before my travel was due to start back up again in February, the pandemic happened. Travel kept getting pushed back until international trips were outright canceled. Then domestic trips were canceled. Then all the money we had to operate went towards helping people as waves of deaths hit Europe. The charity would shutter soon after, and I've only been on one plane trip ever since.

It has been very strange indeed to go from being on the road 1/3 of the year to not traveling at all.

And while I do miss it from time to time, I think I'm far happier knowing that those hectic days are behind me.

But not entirely.

Mac users like to think that the many viruses and problems which plague Windows users doesn't effect them, but they're wrong. The fact that the world runs on Windows means that existing in the world means that Windows problems can affect you. There couldn't be a better example of this than today's "CrowdStrike" disaster.

CrowdStrike is a cyber security company whose products protect your computers from going down due to external attacks and protect your data from data breaches. Today they sent out a security update to their Windows host customers which, alas, ended up being defective. This caused all the computers which received the update to crash. Hard. A global IT outage occurred. Which means everything from airports and airlines to banking and health care were hopelessly fucked. All you saw anywhere and everywhere was the dreaded Windows Blue Screen of Death™...

So whether you are a Mac user, Linux user, or Windows user... you were hopelessly fucked by consequence. Like these people in what I'm thinking must be Berlin Brandenburg Airport (I've only flown into Berlin a handful of times... so while "Ankunft" is definitely German, I can only be positive that this is not Cologne-Bonn's airport, which I am very familiar with)...

Photo by Liesa Johannssen/Getty Images

Now, given how much travel I've done in my life, I've been in situations just like this. Mostly as a consequence of weather, but sometimes it was technical. I've definitely seen the Windows Blue Screen of Death™ in more than one airport. I do not envy these people trying to deal with the clusterfuck that's become their life. I can't even remember all the places I've been stuck over the years. But it's happened many, many times. In the beginning when I hadn't traveled so much, it was both frustrating and terrifying. But as the number of trips I took went up, my anxiety went down when problems popped up. It'll all work out, no matter what happened, I knew that I'll get to where I'm going eventually. Accommodations to my situation will be made. Which is not to say that sadness didn't occur. I missed a Christmas back when my mom and grandmother were still alive and, given how important that holiday was to them, I was understandably upset about it.

But technology happens.

In other news... after watching Jason Statham in the incredible action flick The Beekeeper, I've made it my mission in life to watch all of his films that I haven't yet seen. There's not a lot because I'm a huge fan of the kinds of films he makes. The best of the films I watched this week was Safe...

Is there anything brilliantly new to be had? No. But there were a number of interesting bits in-between the fighting. Can't ask for more than that!

When I was working in Tokyo, I saw trucks sporting one of my favorite logos of all time... for a company named Yamato Transport.

They're a popular shipping and moving company in Japan, and their logo has a mom black cat (kuro-neko) carrying a baby black cat. Thus implying that they will take care of your goods as a mother takes care of her child...

Total genius, really.

Anyway... in my Facebook feed was an ad for a T-shirt with the logo on it so I jumped at it. Except it's not officially licensed like so many scams that Facebook allows to run as ads (I got scammed by a Marine Layer imitator because Facebook is an asshole company*). And so I wrote to Yamato Transport directly and asked if they sell shirts with their logo.

Probably won't hear back, but I had to try because I want that shirt!

   
*I bought a shirt and sweatshirt from Marine Layer and absolutely loved them. So when Facebook showed me an ad for a Marine Layer summer clearance sale, I hopped on it. But since Facebook doesn't give a shit about anything but money, the ad wasn't vetted and turned out to be a scam. A fake company using a duplicate of the Marine Layer site... even sending out a Marine Layer branded confirmation. When I didn't get a ship notification or my order after two weeks, I found that none of the support links in the email work. Fortunately I was able to dispute the transaction. But WTF Facebook? Why not go after advertisers the way you go after your users? Oh... that's right... BECAUSE MONEY!

The ad is STILL RUNNING.

Strap yourself in, because this is a long one.

Sorry, but I got stories to tell.

It all started when I was on Facebook I saw this map (thanks to Terrible Maps) pointing out the drunkest city in every state...

And so...

I was going through this map trying to check off all the cities in states I've been drunk in: Pullman, Boise, Corvallis, Las Vegas, Park City, Dallas, New Orleans, ALL OF WISCONSIN, Nashville, Lexington, Cincinnati, Savannah, Virginia Beach, Atlantic City, Boston, New York City, and Lewiston.

That's 17.

Out of 50.

So a full one third of them. Which I'd like to chalk up to my having traveled a lot... but is more likely a consequence of my having drank a lot.

And because I am up with a gippy tummy and cant sleep, I present to you all 17 times I was drunk in the drunkest city of these states...

• Pullman, Washington: AKA that time I got drunk up the Wazzu. Pullman is home to Washington State University, AKA WSU, AKA Wazzu. It's a city in the middle of nowhere (an hour-and-a-half south of Spokane, ten minutes from the Idaho border, which tells you everything you need to know). I was there for training on a subject I didn't want, didn't need, and felt was a total waste of my valuable time. Remarkably, I found out that all I had to do was pick up my badge, sign in, and I was marked as having taken the class. You have no idea how quickly I bailed and ended up at The Coug, a nearby bar that absolutely did not believe in over-serving once I had too many. But I ran across a loophole whereas I volunteered to buy a round for the table next to me if one of the beers could be for me. Something I did twice. Now beyond sobriety, I told the table that I was going to walk back to The Hampton Inn and asked if somebody could point me in the right direction. At which point they told me that it would be a 40 minute walk. I had gotten a ride to class, and didn't realize it was so far away. One of the guys from the table said he'd run me there because it would only take a couple minutes by car. I took him up on it because I had bought him two beers. On the way to his car he introduced himself. Turns out I knew his older brother. Small world.
• Boise, Idaho: AKA that time I got drunk because I was in Boise. Come on. What else is there to do in Boise frickin' Idaho? This was a stop on a drive with my girlfriend at the time, who wanted to visit her parents in EASTERN MONTANA But didn't want to fly, so I had to drive. 12-1/2 hours. It was one of the worst things I ever did and our relationship didn't survive it. On the way back we were dumb enough to take an EIGHT HOUR DETOUR so we could pay a quick visit to Yellowstone and "experience" Southern Idaho. It was the only good thing about the trip... until we actually made it to Boise to stay the night. I was so frickin' done at that point that I got just drunk enough not to lose my mind. She ended up having to drive the 3-1/2 hours to Pendleton the next morning so I could sleep off my hangover. I then drove the remaining 3-1/2 hours home. Which was almost entirely in silence. My biggest regret (other than taking the trip in the first place) was that I didn't get drunk when we passed through Butte as well. That would have been another city for this list, and probably would have made the journey a bit less awful.
• Corvallis, Oregon: AKA that time I got drunk with a cats. The title says it all. I went to a house party. There was a cat named Rover. I spent all night drinking and petting Rover. Eventually Rover left and I was very drunk. Apparently you lose track of your alcohol consumption when a cat is around. Fortunately I was a guest of the house so I didn't have far to go to get to my bed. The next morning I stumbled out of the guest room with a hangover to find something for breakfast. That's when I found out from my host that I hadn't been petting a cat, I had been petting cats... plural. As in three of them. In my defense, they did look a lot alike. Rover, Chuck, and Tom. All were girl cats. The situation was just as confusing to me as when I was (mostly) sober as it had apparently been while I was drunk.
• Las Vegas, Nevada: AKA that time I got drunk on power... but mostly alcohol. It would be easier to count the times I went to Vegas and didn't get drunk than it would to find a story that's suitable to tell where I was drunk. Let's go with the time that I got drunk barhopping in The Wynn (a hotel I ended up in often from work). I had just got off work and wasn't flying back until the day after next because it was cheaper to pay for a night at the hotel than it was to fly back home after I was off. When you're there alone, Las Vegas is one of the loneliest places on earth (despite being surrounded by tons of people) so I decided to drink. And drink I did. First I drank for free while playing slots... got tired of watered down drinks... then decided to drink everywhere else you could drink. While exiting the lobby bar, a guy covered in a bunch of electronics asked if I could help him out, as his phone charger had come unplugged. I went to plug it back in and... ended up getting electrocuted. It was so shocking (pun intended) in my inebriated state that I passed out for a second. Next thing I know there's a bunch of people trying to sit me upright while the guy I was helping was asking if he should call an ambulance. Instead of going to the hospital I went back into the bar and had another drink.
• Park City, Utah: AKA that time I got drunk at the wrong hotel. I got stuck in Park City when I missed my ride back to SLC. So I decided to just grab a cheap hotel since I was too tired to figure out a way back. After checking in, I went to a bar down the street and drank. A lot. So much that I didn't remember which way I came and left going the wrong way. Ended up at an entirely different hotel. Not knowing what to do, I explained the situation to the front desk. They called the first hotel in the opposite direction, confirmed that this was the hotel I was at, THEN TOOK ME IN THEIR SHUTTLE BACK TO MY HOTEL BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T TRUST ME TO GET BACK ON MY OWN! Boy do I have a lot of stories like that. Too many.
• Dallas, Texas: AKA that time I got drunk waiting for fries that never came. After having been in L.A., I stopped in Dallas on my way to Atlanta to visit the new Hard Rock Cafe there. The property was a disappointment, so I said good bye to a friend that met me there and ran to Reunion Tower so I could see the city at dusk from the observation deck. Closed for renovation. I went back to my hotel, blogged about my visit, then decided to call it an early night and get some sleep before my early flight. Instead I went downstairs for a nightcap. Or several. Eventually I was told that if I wanted another drink I had to order some food. I wasn't drunk (yet), but food sounded great, so I ordered fries. While I waited for my fries to arrive, the guy who told me to order food left, and I ended up ordering more drinks from the woman who took over because I had food coming. Except my fries never came, so I asked where they were. Turns out the order was never turned in and the kitchen was closing. Now I was absolutely drunk and had no fries to absorb all that alcohol. The woman took pity on me and brought out numerous tiny bags of pretzels. I was still drunk when I got on the plane the next morning... where I was served yet another tiny bag of pretzels.
• New Orleans, Louisiana: AKA that time I got drunk for the first time. Look, I have gotten drunk ever single time I've been lucky enough to visit my favorite American city. And I've blogged many of them. My first time getting drunk was in New Orleans after winning a state DECA competition. My supervisor couldn't make it, so I was in the city alone and unsupervised two weeks before my senior year of high school... at the young age of 17. Drinking age was 18, but absolutely nobody asked for my ID so I ended up drinking way more than I should have. Unaccustomed to being drunk, I was a bit of a mess and left my new Kodak Disc camera in a taxi. But don't feel too bad, I may have lost my camera but I also ended up losing my virginity. Ah New Orleans. I've been to The Big Easy dozens of times, but that first time was pure magic.
• ALL OF WISCONSIN: AKA that time I got drunk on cheese and gave a guy constipation. I've been drunk in cities all over the state, so I guess I just pick one? But which one? Lots of good Milwaukee stories. HA! And that one time in Madison. But let's go for something less obvious, shall we? One of my work sites was 15 minutes south of Fond du Lac. Most of the times I was put into campus housing, but one time I wasn't. So I ended up at a hotel in Fond du Lac (French for "the foot of the lake" or something). It was a real shithole that looked nothing like the pictures, so I decided to celebrate my misfortune after my last day of work by heading to a bar down the street. But before I left the hotel, I cruised by the lobby where they had a big plate of snacks out. I asked if I could take some cheese with me as a snack for when I walked to the bar. The woman said she'd "hook me up" and came back with a massive bag of cheese cubes. She said she had loads of cheese that was expiring, so I might as well have it. And when I say it was a massive bag, I mean massive. Take a gallon Ziploc bag and triple that. And so I walked over to the tavern that was 10 minutes away eating cubes of cheese. When I got to the bar I asked if it was okay to bring my cheese in with me if I left a good tip. I was expecting to get the "NO OUTSIDE FOOD ALLOWED!" drama, but the barkeep said he didn't care what I did. So I sat at the bar and ordered drink after drink while eating tons of cheese out of my big bag on the bar. A guy took the seat next to me and asked "So you're just going to sit there drinking and eating cheese?" I told him this was my life now, and he shouldn't knock it until he tried it. At which point I was sharing my pile of cheese cubes with him. He then informed me that he was going to end up constipated and it was all my fault. The barkeep, however, din't blame me for anything because I did indeed give him a great tip.
• Nashville, Tennessee: AKA that time I got drunk waiting for somebody who never showed up. Because of this blog, I end up "knowing" a great many people wherever I go. One time I was in Nashville for work and had a Blogography reader from the city ask if I wanted to meet up for a drink. I said sure, then went to the restaurant to wait for him. After he was 15 minutes late, I had a drink. Then another. Then another. Then another. Pretty soon an hour had flown by so I went ahead and ordered dinner without him. And more drinks. I finally gave up and took a taxi back to my hotel. Miffed, I emailed the guy telling him that I was at the restaurant for nearly three hours and finally left. Then I passed out. When I woke up I had an email from the guy I was supposed to meet. He apologized profusely and said he had an emergency pop up, then asked if we could meet up that night instead. I said sure again. This time he showed up before I did. That's when he apologized again and said that he had to take his daughter to the hospital. I said "The hospital? Holy cow, what are you doing here then?" Turns out that she works there. He had to drive across the city to take her to work, then get her car fixed. This was pre-mobile-phone days, so he had the valid excuse that he "couldn't contact me." Except he could have called the restaurant and saved me from a hangover, so it wasn't much of an excuse. I was going to mention it, but he paid for dinner... which excuses a great many things.
• Lexington, Kentucky: AKA that time I got drunk with a bunch of bloggers. Hollywood Nights, baby.
• Cincinnati, Ohio: AKA that time I got drunk for Jesus. Like you wouldn't get drunk after visiting The Creation Museum.
• Savannah, Georgia: AKA that time I got drunk from too much Paula Deen. Oh boy. I went to Savannah for a work conference about web sales. One of the activities was a visit to the Paula Deen warehouse where all her cooking stuff is distributed. This was before her controversy involving using racial slurs (in the worst way possible), so she was everywhere in that warehouse. She slapped her face on every product, and there were a lot of products. I was so fucking sick of Paula Deen's face that I headed straight to a bar after the conference was over so I could drink to forget. Four years and two months later, I'm betting it was Paula Deen who was drinking to forget as she lost everything.
• Virginia Beach, Virginia: AKA that time I got drunk in drag. Many years before drag queens were being wrongfully vilified by a bunch of weird assholes trying to deflect from their own bullshit, I attended my first drag show in Virginia Beach. It was such a great time. So great that I can't even remember why I was in the city. I only remember that incredible night where I got incredibly drunk while being fully entertained. And while I didn't end up in drag makeup, a queen did wrap her boa around my neck, put her hat on me, and sing to me during her number after she found out it was my first time at a drag show. It was everything you could hope for. Except RuPaul wasn't in attendance, and she was the only drag queen I knew. It was a couple years before the first episode of RuPaul's Drag Race would air.
• Atlantic City, New Jersey: AKA that time I got drunk because John F. Kennedy Jr. died. I was in New York the day after John F. Kennedy passed and it felt like the whole city was mourning. The vibe was sad and hopeless. So I decided to head to Atlantic City to get away. My seat-mate on the bus was also escaping the city, and we spent nine hours together talking about our lives as we rode the bus, gambled, visited the Hard Rock Cafe, then rode back to NYC (which I wrote about in this blog entry). I was drinking the whole time, of course, and ended up pretty lit. I am not an emotional person, but when I got back to NYC and bid my new friend adieu, I went straight to a restaurant with a full bar so I could continue on drinking and keep from having a mental breakdown. It was either that or join in on the despair that fell over the city and burst into tears.
• Boston, Massachusetts: AKA that time I got drunk because the Red Sox won... or lost... or something. One of life's greatest joys is getting drunk at Fenway while watching a Red Sox game. A veggie dog. A beer. The Green Monster. A blue sky. And the Red Sox. Then more beer and more beer and more beer. You kinda have to get drunk because if the BoSox win, you're already in a party mood. If they lose, you're inebriated and it doesn't hurt as much. The drunkest I ever got at a game was courtesy of the guys seated behind me who had money and kept buying everybody drinks. "Yah wann-ah nuh-dah bee-ah der bud-eh? Well fuck yeah I wanna beer if you're buying! And I had many, many beers on a flawless Summer day. I think we won. Either way, I left happy. It's impossible not to be happy at a Red Sox game. Have no idea who we were playing.
• New York City, New York: AKA that time I got drunk in The Big Apple's then bought an Apple. I was in NYC for work. I closed a massive deal for the charity I worked with. To celebrate, I met up with my colleagues at a pub in Midtown Manhattan. The rest of the night is a blur. And when I woke up the next morning I had upgraded my iPhone to the latest model. I have zero recollection of how, when, or where I bought it. Though I had a bag from The Apple Store, so at least I didn't steal it. Though I wouldn't know for sure until I got my credit card bill a couple weeks later. Drunk shopping is the best shopping, isn't it? Sure. Until you have to pay the price...
• Lewiston, Maine: AKA that time I got drunk across the river in both Mexico and Ireland then went to work. For over a decade I had work that took me to Maine twice a year. And every time I would stay at the Hilton Garden Inn Riverwatch in Auburn. There were not a lot of restaurants within walking distance, and so I asked at the front desk if there was anything I could try instead of the same old places. I was recommended a Mexican-Irish(!) restaurant across the river in the city of Lewiston. Named "Pedro O'Hara's" they had a menu and atmosphere I liked. Plus a full bar. My work was often at odd hours with a schedule that could change on a dime. On one such incident, my work was pushed an entire day, after which I went for dinner at Pedro O'Hara's and drank. A lot. Because there was nothing else to do. I could walk back to my hotel, so no biggie, right? But what can be pushed can also be un-pushed, something I found out the hard way. Not able to drive, I had to take a pricey taxi ride to work (which I had to pay for). Then try to work while under the influence (which came surprisingly easy to me). Fortunately, the people at my worksite drove me back to my hotel so I didn't have to pay for another taxi. Unfortunately, I had to be back at my worksite at 3am. I had sobered up just fine, but was in no mood to work. But who is at 3:00 in the morning?

Interesting to note that I've been to a lot of these cities, I just didn't get drunk in them. Which is to say that the damage could have been so much worse. I could have gotten drunk in Tallahassee instead of Destin, just 2-1/2 hours away. I could have gotten drunk in Iowa City after visiting The Field of Dreams. I SHOULD have gotten drunk in Boulder. And Tempe! Oh well. Maybe when I retire I can make a run though all 50 states and get this figured out.

Whoa! Better put those Mouseketeer ears back on! Turns out there's a surprise PART THREE of a very special, all new D23 Edition of Bullet Sunday on Tuesday focusing on the TV and movies stuff starts... now...

Yesterday afternoon when I took a minute for lunch I saw that Disney is confirming that in order to make room for Cars Frontierland, they're plowing over Rivers of America and Tom Sawyer Island!

I admit to being more than a little shocked. Those are staples of the "Disney park experience" in America, and I really thought that both Cars Frontierland and Villains Land would be dropped in behind Frontierland like this...

But nope! We don't know exactly how the configuation will be, but it's probably something more like this maybe...

Now, when it comes to Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World, you can kinda get away with paving under Rivers of America and Tom Sawyer Island. It's just an abstract of the West Coast original. But if Disney announced that they were paving over Rivers of America and Tom Sawyer Island AT DISNEYLAND?!? Disney fans would probably burn the place to the ground. That was dug out by Walt Disney Himself, by God, and nobody better touch it!

   
In Disney other news...

I skipped over some important news concerning Disney Cruise Lines. They announced four additional new ships ON TOP OF the four they have being built and the five that are in operation. That's a total of thirteen ships. That's a lot of ships. But DCL is a very popular way to cruise, so I guess we shouldn't be surprised...

My mom loved cruises, and we actually cruised with Disney once. It was a fantastic cruise... and I'm saying that as somebody who is not a big fan of them. There's many, many things that Disney does right which made the experience great by comparison.

My favorite is that even though you shift to different themed dining rooms from night to night (which is so cool), your wait staff stays the same. And it made a huge difference. I loved the pizza on the ship. One night while mom and I were at dinner, I mentioned that I wish pizza was on the menu. Not only did the wait staff say "We can do that!"... they asked me every other night if I wanted to have some pizza again. Most of the times, I took them up on it, because I'd rather have pizza than bread. By the end of the cruise, I was so spoiled by my service team that I was more than a little depressed at our last dinner together. On other ships, the servers were just there and not much else. Even if their service was fantastic, you were on to other servers next time and it was forgotten.

My second favorite thing about DCL is that they have character meet-and-greets. As a massive Mickey Mouse fan, I absolutely took advantage of the opportunity to have my photo taken with him. One night at dinner I wore my Mickey sweatshirt and Mickey went ape-shit pointing and laughing at it... pantomiming "THAT'S MEEEEE!" and then he wanted a guy at our table to take a photo of us (pay no attention to how drunk I am in this photo)...

Mom made friends with Mickey, Minnie, Chip and Dale, Goofy, and... PLUTO!

Yeah. It was pretty great. Like when I met him the following day and he once again freaked out that I had him on my shirt...

My mom, on the other hand, loved Donald Duck (because he was also in the Navy) and after she explained that to Donald, he ran and got her when the YMCA started playing so they could do the YMCA dance together...

Now, I'm not saying that mom didn't have fun on the other cruises we took together. She always had fun. It's what made it so fun to take trips with her. But when I say that dancing with Donald Duck was a high that lasted the entire trip... well... it did. She talked about it for years after. It didn't make the entire cruise for her. But it came close.

There are many, many other great things about cruising with Disney. The most surprising being... sure there's kids onboard, but Disney puts a lot of effort into keeping adult guests kinda separate so they're not bothered. Since you rotate with your same table and service staff to every restaurant, mom and I had the same all adult table every night. Which was great. There's also places that adults can escape where children aren't allowed. Which is also great. I don't recall ever being bothered by any kids the whole cruise.

And also the ships are beautifully appointed and unique...

And, yes, that actually is a Dale Chihuly chandelier hanging in the atrium there.

But anyway... my days of cruising are likely over. I only ever did it because mom liked it. But if I ever were to cruise again, it would probably be with Disney.

But anyway... this should be the final part to my D23 commentary. But you never know. Tomorrow Disney could announce that they are blowing up the Matterhorn and you'll have to go find those Mouseketeer ears once again.

I've been to Walt Disney World many, many times because I used to have work there. Eventually I would only go into the parks to eat or get a haircut because I had rode all the attractions multiple times and don't really like standing in line. But Disney has added a bunch of stuff since I was there in September, 2019, so when I went to Orlando this time, I made a vacation out of it.

And I have some thoughts about what it takes to ride the attractions now-a-days...

Virtual Queue!
There are three rides at Walt Disney World that you can't just walk up and stand in line to ride... Tiana's Bayou Adventure, Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind, and TRON: Lightcycle Run. The only way to ride them is to wake up at 7am and join a "Virtual Queue" so you can earn the right to then go stand in line. Can't get a spot? Then you have to wait until 1pm to see if you can grab one then. Can't get one of those spots? Then you're out of luck. At least that's the way it is for Tiana's Bayou Adventure. For the other two rides, there's another way which I'll get to below... all it takes is money, of course. On one level, I get it. Disney really doesn't want lines so long that they don't have space to fit them. But what a bummer to go all the way to Disney World and not be able to ride something you had your heart set on. That's a huge problem, but as long as Disney continues over-sells tickets, it's an unavoidable one.

A NECESSARY ASIDE: Remember FastPass?
Back in 1999, Disney introduced the FastPass. The goal was to reduce the time you spend in line waiting to ride the most popular attractions... which, as you can imagine, is a common complaint of guests. It's essentially a "virtual queue" where you go to the ride, get a ticket with a time on it, then return at that time. In the meanwhile you can go do something else. It was a thoughtful addition. And it was FREE. And if you stayed at certain Disney hotels, they gave you a couple "universal" FastPasses that would allow you to go on any FastPass attraction without having to get a ticket. After that was FastPass+ which allowed advanced reservations. That was eventually replaced with Genie+, where you could PAY to skip the lines. Needless to say, it sucked to have to pay money to have something that used to be free.

Leeloo Dallas Lightning Lane Multi-Pass!
Fast-forward to today, and Walt Disney World has unleashed an all new version of Lightning Lane Multi-Pass, which allow you to pay in advance to reserve attractions and experiences. You pay a daily fee, then get to reserve three Lightning Lanes for attractions that have them. After you use a Lightning Lane, you then immediately get to reserve another one for later in the day. It actually works very well... assuming you're willing to pay minimum $30 a day to use the feature. Not exactly cheap, and the price can go up depending on how busy the resort is and which park you visit. Alas, this means you really have to plan out your vacation in advance, because you want to reserve those Lightning Lanes as soon as you can because popular rides will lose all available windows quickly. You can reserve seven days in advance if you're staying at a Disney resort... three days in advance if you're not. Just another way that Disney can squeeze money out of you and make their parks a perk only rich people can enjoy to the fullest.

Individual Lightning Lane!
The most popular rides in all of Walt Disney World... Seven Dwarf's Mine Train, TRON Lightcycle Run, Avatar Flight of Passage, Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance, and Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind do not qualify for regular Multi-Pass Lightning Lanes. Oh no. You have to pay per ride to jump those lines. And it's ridiculously expensive... currently $12 to $25 per person, per ride. Don't want to spend 90 minutes waiting to ride Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance? Pay to skip the line. All the Virtual Queue slots taken for the day but you want to ride Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind? Pay to ride it. This is abhorrent. Disney is happy to take money from people who might have been saving their pennies for years in order to be able to afford to go... but if they can't chip in even more money to have access to certain rides, then it's entirely possible they are beyond their reach. Given the way this works, why the fuck doesn't Disney just go back to pay-per-ride with A-to-E tickets instead of promoting the pretense that you can pay one price and ride everything? Or, ha ha ha, start capping the number of tickets they sell so their parks aren't overflowing with so many people that you don't have a hope to ride stuff unless you've got additional money to do so.

And so...

I think the way that Disney pretends to be a vacation destination for families everywhere, but is actually a vacation destination that only the wealthy can truly enjoy to the fullest, is incredibly dishonest. Instead of thinking that you can buy a ticket, take your own food, stay at a cheap resort outside of the park, avoid souvenirs, and somehow afford to "do Disney World"... Disney should just be honest and charge higher prices up-front that allow people to realistically budget how much their trip will cost.

Because the nickel-and-diming... excuse me... the hundreds-and-hundreds-of-dollaring... Disney is doing right now is absolutely awful. Rich people will always have a better experience because money doesn't matter to them. I accept that. But people who are not rich shouldn't be made poorer because Disney is misrepresenting how much it costs to have the vacation they sell you in their brochures and ads.

That's anything but magical for the "most magical place on earth."

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... I'm just going to put this out there, Tiana's Bayou Adventure was a hugely missed opportunity.

The re-theming of Splash Moutain was a long time coming. There was only so long that Disney could pretend that a ride based on Song of the South didn't have ties to a film filled with racist stereotypes. That they decided to use The Princess and The Frog to do this was pretty exciting. It's a great movie that's filled with awesome things to build a ride around, not the least of which was the city of New Orleans (my favorite American city). Plus the main characters are frogs! You can do some cool stuff with frogs! Plus there were other sweet characters like Louis and Ray and Mama Odie and the incredible Dr. Facilier to put in it! After the announcement, I remember thinking "Holy cow... the Disney imagineers must be going nuts designing everything!"

But Disney inexplicably threw out all of the things I was dying to see.

And I am still trying to understand why.

Instead of telling the story of The Princess and The Frog, the attraction is a sequel to the movie and continues the story. And since Dr. Facilier died in the movie, they didn't put him in the attraction. And that is categorically stupid as fuck. He is a fantastic villain that made the movie so cool. He's got magical abilities that would be visually stunning to experience. But even worse? Tiana and Naveen turned back into humans at the end of the movie, so they don't get to be frogs in the ride.

What the fuck?!?

But anyway...

The exterior of the attraction is mostly nice. I don't think it's as cool as the orange rocky mountain that tied into Frontierland and Big Thunder Mountain Railroad so well, but the greenery is pleasant, and I think that it would be particularly pretty at night (which I didn't get to experience... see yesterday's entry on why). But otherwise? Not what I was hoping to see.

In the concept art that Disney gave us, there was a big tree with a crashed boat in it that made the mountain look incredible...

The story of the ride (if you can call it that) is that Tiana is enlisting Louis's help to find musicians for a big New Orleans party that she's throwing. This is okay, in concept, but not great, in practice.

The ride queue is good. You're walking through Tiana's store, and they packed it to the gills with nifty stuff to look at. If there's a single part of the ride that's improved, this would be it.

Then the story falls apart as you board your log vehicle because you're in the bayou. So... was Tiana's store in the bayou too? I thought her restaurant was in New Orleans, so shouldn't that be where her store is? Who knows? It's sloppy shit like this that is very telling. Splash Mounain had a highly cohesive story that made sense. The new ride really doesn't.

Putting that aside, you leave the bayou and climb up to the main ride building where Tiana explains her plight to find musicians (which, in itself is crazy... YOU LIVE IN NEW ORLEANS, HOME OF SOME OF THE MOST AMAZING MUSICIANS ON THE PLANET, BUT YOU'RE GOING INTO THE SWAMP?!?). This section of the ride is really clunky because the amazing Tiana animatronic is completely frozen until your log approaches it. Very creepy. How hard would it have been to have her make movements in-between logs?

Even though you just climbed up a mountain, you're suddenly back in the bayou where Louis joins you to look for musicians. Just like Tiana, the animatronic for Louis is incredible. The other animal characters are well done as well. But here's the thing... because it's just Tiana and Louis in this story, there are long stretches of nothing in the ride because you can't be seeing two Tianas and two Louises at the same time. There has to be big breaks to keep the illusion working. And this right here is where the idea of a sequel should have been jettisoned. Because if they had followed the movie, you could have had moments with Ray and moments with Dr. Facilier filling in that space. But instead? Swamp. Wheee.

Eventually you get to Mama Odie, who shrinks you down to the size of a frog, though I don't quite understand why. But what's worse? YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED WHEN IT HAPPENS! I didn't understand because while, yes, the props are bigger in scale, that happens all the time in Disney rides to draw your attention to them! The second time I rode it, I heard Mama Odie say something about shrinking you down... but it's still ridiculously and needlessly confusing. You then float through the bayou at a small size for no reason until Mama Odie decides to embiggen you again.

The original Splash Mountain had a lot of fun things going on throughout, but the entire point of the ride... that massive drop... was treated with a sense of danger and foreboding. Splash Mountain didn't set out to scare you, but it did want to play a psychological game as you were climbing up to that drop. There was a frightened Br'er Rabbit and vultures lamenting your fate and harrowing music. And now that's just... gone. All the tension has vanished. And the ride suffers because of it. Mama Odie makes you big again (if you manage to understand that's what's happening), you plunge down the mountain, and there's nothing more to it. What a shame.

But anyway...

You end up back in the bayou yet again as you roll up on Tiana's big party (back in New Orleans?). Whereas Splash Mountain overwhelmed you with tons of moving parts that weren't terribly detailed as you reach the Zipadee Doo Dah riverboat, Tiana's Bayou Adventure does the same with quality animatronics that are incredibly well-done. It's quite a sight to see, and a marked improvement over the original attraction.

The end.

And that's it. That's what it took Disney four years to figure out. It may sound like I'm disappointed with the attraction. That's not really true. It's an enjoyable distraction from life that's fairly well done. What I'm disappointed in is what a huge missed opportunity this was. I expected so much more, and was ultimately let down. Tiana's Bayou Adventure isn't bad... it's just not great.

So let's recap, shall we?

The Bad...

• Story. As I hope I made clear, the story doesn't make sense. Partly because they were re-theming an old ride that had a specific story, but mostly because they made this a sequel to the movie, which was just dumb.
• Video Screens. There's some pretty important parts of the ride where they cheaped out and used big screens instead of animatronics. It's bad. Especially the big screen where Tiana and Louis are looking in at you when you're tiny, because it's so glaringly obvious. No attempt at all was made to integrate the screen into the "world" you're inhabiting. There's a migration of fireflies where they at least tried, and it makes all the difference. As background elements, screens are okay. But as a major section of the ride? No.
• Blank Space. With only two characters carrying the story (three if you toss in Mama Odie, which I do not because her segment is nonsensical and irrelevant), there has to be long stretches of nothing. That's a huge problem. The ride feels empty in spots, even though it really isn't, because you can't see the same character in two places at once.
• Stalls. Having your animatronics freeze up and wait for you to arrive looks incredibly tacky and bad. Maybe they move too little to notice, but Tiana and Mama Odie both have weird pauses where they should be moving more.
• Lip Sync Weirdness Tiana and Louis have really good mouth movements, but the final Mama Odie animatronic must have been broken, because the sync looked terrible.

The Good...

• Animatronics. These are next level animatronics at every turn outside of the Mama Odie problem. Tiana and Louis are stunning. Even minor animatronics are beautifully done. The costumes and theming are all beautiful.
• Ceilings. Some actual effort was made to conceal the ceilings so you're not looking up at big stretches of paint. But heeeeere's the thing... if ever there was a place that I would advocate for the use of video screens, it would be on the ceiling! That's a way to make the height of the space appear far more vast. Show the stars twinkling in the sky. SHOW RAY NOW THAT HE'S A STAR! This is a no brainer, and yet it was completely overlooked. But still... at least some effort was made.
• Queue. As I mentioned, they did a very good job trying to make standing in line be a bit more interesting than it used to be. Always appreciated.

And now? Time for some beignets.

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... Let's get on the gaming grid, because Shanghai Disneyland's TRON Lightcycle/Run has come to the USA, y'all! Well, technically in China it's "TRON Lightcycle Power Run," but I think it's the same ride. And, spoiler alert, I love the attraction despite the fact it's really short (I think the ride time is under two minutes!).

The story of the ride is that you are getting digitized to ride for the Blue Users to battle the evil Yellow Programs on the lightcycle grid (which will make sense to you if you've ever seen the film TRON... and if you haven't, why not?).

There's three things about the experience which make this such a good ride...

1) Most of the ride is in a building where there's screens that show you your opponents whizzing along with you as you race to block them with your lightcycle hard light trail. But after launch you exit the building for a nice loop under a canopy that lights up at night... and has hex grids which follows the cycles as they pass. It's wildly cool and you can see the canopy at night from various places in the park. A beautiful addition to Tomorrowland...

2) You're not sitting in a roller coaster car, you're sitting on a roller coaster lightcycle (kinda a futuristic motorcycle). It's not incredibly comfortable, but it's for two minutes and you just don't care because you're on a lightcycle...

3) The track is fast. 60 miles per hour fast. Launch coasters are my favorite and, while this isn't my favorite, it's nice to have another one added to the growing list of Walt Disney World coasters.

And my recap? Glad you asked!

The Bad...

• Length. This ride needed to be longer. Yeah, I know that two minutes is not really that short when it comes to launch coasters (Aerosmith Rock 'n' Roller Coaster is a minute-twenty... and my favorite, The Incredible Hulk Coaster is two minutes-fifteen), but the amount of time (or money) it takes to ride this thing demands that it be a longer experience.
• Cost. Whether you are able to snag a Virtual Queue spot for the privilege of standing in line to wait to ride it... or you spend the cash to skip the line by buying an Individual Lightning Lane (either because you don't like lines or you couldn't get in the Virtual Queue) there's a cost involved. I really hate that.
• Risk. It is entirely possible that you could go to Walt Disney World specifically to ride this coaster only to not be able to. You couldn't get a Virtual Queue. You couldn't afford the Individual Lightning Lane. You couldn't get an Individual Lightning Lane because they sold out. It could happen. The days of going to a park and just standing in line to ride do not apply to TRON: Lightcycle/Run.

The Good...

• Everything Else. But Mostly The Design. Everything about it is cool. The canopy. The lightcycles you sit on. The story. The queue. The way you "race" against your competitors. Even the pass-though lockers to store your stuff. It's all so good. Worth the effort to ride even though it doesn't last that long (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!).

And now? Time to watch Tron for the hundredth time.

>Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... I usually buy something for my cats to play with when I go on vacation.

After I got back from my trip to Disney World, I had to order a replacement Orange Bird MagicBand+, so I ordered a small plush for my cats so they had a souvenir as well. Except when I got it, the thing wasn't "small" at all. Orange Bird was as tall as my cats and maybe even a little taller! So there goes my plan where they (but mostly Jake) would be dragging him all over the house as they do with their other plushie toys.

Jenny ran back upstairs the minute she saw it. Jake, on the other hand, was curious...

He gave Orange Bird a couple sniffs. Batted at it once or twice. Then walked away...

Jake and Jenny both has been ignoring Orange Bird ever since.

Oh well. I tried.

As for myself? The souvenir I bought for me was a Grinning Loth Cat collectible tiki mug from Oga's Cantina at Galaxy's Edge...

The matte grey one from Walt Disney World Florida is not as cool as the glossy shaded brown one from Disneyland California, but I still love it.

And, as much as I'd love to set it out, I worry that it would then become another souvenir for my cats once one of them knocks it off a table or something. So it gets to be put in my glassware cabinet.

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... I'm back to Real Life and am too busy getting caught up with life to blog... but never you fear, because an all new VERY SPECIAL WALT DISNEY WORLD EDITION of Bullet Sunday starts... now (and next Sunday, since there's too much stuff for just one!)...

   
• Hot Ones! Before we get down to it, I just have to share this amazing appearance by Donald Duck on Hot Ones. I love it when cool things like this happen...

   
• My Disney Experience App! One key piece of the Walt Disney Parks puzzle is their app. You use this app for absolutely everything from viewing all the plans you've made and managing restaurant reservations to ordering quick-serve meals and viewing attraction wait times...

It also tells you what's going on at the park... with things like parades, character meet-and-greets, and hotel activities at your fingertips. If you have a PhotoPass you can even view and download your photos. It sounds awful to be chained to an app all day long, but I love the thing. It's so remarkably handy. Especially for restaurant reservations. You get a push notification when your reservation is ready. You check in to confirm you got the notification. Then you let the app know when you're at the restaurant so somebody can take you to your table. It's just such a good experience. It's also cool how if you have a Lightning Lane MultiPass you can book another Lightning Lane after you scan in for the one you're at while standing in line. And of course you can use the app to gain access to the park and your hotel room. But there's something else that does this without having to take your phone out of your pocket.

   
• MagicBand+! A "MagicBand" is an RFID device that you wear on your wrist which allows you access to a number of things throughout your Disney experience. They used to be something you got free when you stay at a Disney resort, because it acted as a room key, park pass, and even a method of payment when your credit card is on file. But now you have to pay serious money to get one. Eventually "MagicBand 2" came out which looked more like a watch. Then, in 2022, Disney released "MagicBand+" which added interactivity with various statues throughout the parks and also had colored lights which would glow and change when you're near various attractions. Available in a slew of different designs, the new version is rechargeable so you can use it over and over. My Orange Bird band looks like this...

Full disclosure, this is not my first Orange Bird MagicBand+. These things are notorious for falling off your wrist, and that's what happened on Day One of my vacation. This is despite having a "BitBelt" on it to help it stay on (this is the third one I've lost). This is a common complaint, and it's more of an issue for some people than others. I honestly don't understand why Disney doesn't put a better clasp on them, because it's crazy stupid that my Apple Watch has never fallen off once, but the MagicBand+ falls off me with almost no effort. Fortunately, if you have an Apple Watch, you don't really need a MagicBand+. I was able to do everything except interact with the statues (which is kinda dumb) and look at the lights that flash during fireworks shows or in certain attractions. If you have a compatible Smart Watch, I'd take a pass.

   
• Resort Early Access! There are many benefits to staying at a Disney resort hotel that's on-property. It's so amazingly beneficial that I have long suggested to people that it's better to save money for an extra year to stay with Disney as opposed to saving money and staying at someplace cheaper outside the park. Though that's not as true now as it used to be because free airport transportation is no longer included. It used to be that you also got extra hours at night for a couple parks each week, but that perk is only available if you stay at one of the "Deluxe" properties now. What all Disney resort guests do get is 30 minutes early entry to all the Disney World parks. But the attraction you want to ride before everybody else may not be running until the park opens for everybody. Take for example the wildly popular "Slinky Dog Dash" roller coaster in Disney's Hollywood Studios. The line is open a half-hour early, sure. But it doesn't start operating until the park opens! So all you really get is to stand in line before everybody else and only have to wait 30-45 minutes instead of the usual 90 minutes. Still useful, but not as much as it could be.

   
• Worthless Events! I attended two of these. The first was Extended Hours at Disney's Hollywood Studios. Instead of having to leave when the park closes at 9:00, you get to stay until after midnight. It used to be that this was an incredible opportunity to ride attractions with very short waits. Ride "Tower of Terror" in ten minutes! But that's absolutely not true any more because Disney over-sells the event. Slinky Dog Dash was minimum 40-45 minutes for the entire event. Which is really shitty after paying a bunch of extra money. Half as long as during park hours, but not short enough to be worth the cost. The second event I got was the "Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party," which was also a bust. The intent was to go on rides while everybody else was watching the "Boo To You" parade. But the parade was canceled due to rain and, since this event was also oversold, ride lines weren't any shorter. You also have the opportunity to trick-or-treat for candy, but it's the same fun-size candy you get at a store, so it's definitely not worth the money. Kinda sad that Disney is overselling these things, because they used to be something worth paying for. Now they're just not.

   
• Keys to the Kingdom! I hadn't been on the "Keys to the Kingdom" tour in a while so I decided to do it again. This tour takes you behind the scenes of Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom. You get stories about how the park was designed and made. Trivia about various Easter eggs around the park. And an exclusive look at the "Utilidors" (service corridors) that are beneath the park...

The Utilidors are incredible. They allow garbage to be pulled out, stores and restaurants to be replenished, and employees to get to their posts... all without being seen by guests in the park. If you've been on all the rides and are looking for something new and different to do, I recommend the 5-hour tour. The price is very reasonable for the amount of time you get, and you also get to skip the line on a couple of rides! It's my second favorite non-attraction thing at WDW (after the "Wild Africa Trek" in Animal Kingdom).

   
• Character Moment! The character meet-and-greets are really well done. Most times they find people who are really into playing the character they're representing, and they're great with the guests. Sometimes the actors are better than others, but at no point do they outright fail. At least not that I've seen. Where the failure came to me was when I saw Ariel (The Little Mermaid) appearing in the app, and Disney felt the need to qualify it with "Ariel (From the Live-Action Story)...

And it's like, come on. When Belle from Beauty and The Beast appears, they don't tell you that it's "Belle (In Her Peasant Dress)" instead of Belle in her more famous princess dress... or tell you whether it's Belle from the animated or live-action movie... so why is it necessary to qualify Animated (AKA WHITE) Ariel from Live-Action (AKA BLACK) Ariel? They are both equally valid Ariel characters! I can only guess that they wanted to head off complaints from parents who would be all "THAT'S NOT ARIEL! MY CHILD WANTS TO SEE WHITE ARIEL!" or whatever. Disappointing.

   
And tomorrow we'll resume with even more Walt Disney World commentary.

>Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... "Nothing can stop us now! I'll tell ya how, we're gonna make it happen! Let's take a ride. And spend a day in the countryside!"

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... Over at Disney's Hollywood Studios, they have opened Mickey & Minnie's Runaway Railway in the old Grauman's Chinese Theater replica. It opened in 2020, replacing the boring The Great Movie Ride (in Disneyland they built a new building in ToonTown)...

The concept of the ride is that you are going to the theater to watch the latest Mickey & Minnie cartoon... Perfect Picnic. There's not much to the queue, but you do occasionally get rotating digital posters for other Mickey & Minnie cartoons...

As you are watching the Perfect Picnic cartoon, an accident in the cartoon causes the screen to explode, allowing you to step inside the cartoon and board the train that Goofy was driving in it. But, uh-oh, the train comes un-hitched from Goofy's engine car, and away you go. From there you go through various scenes as Mickey and Minnie try to get your train car under control so they can continue on to their perfect picnic. Overall, it's a very well-done attraction that's pretty entertaining. So much to look at as you ride through, which makes it good for repeat viewings. A far, far better use of space than The Great Movie Ride it replaced. Let's sum it up, shall we?

The Bad...

• Reliability. The thing is always breaking down. I think it was down every day I was at Walt Disney World. Once it broke down while I was in the queue, for which I received a Lightning Lane good for everything except what you'd want it to be (Slinky Dog Dash and Rise of the Resistance). When I returned, the part of the ride where you watch the start of the cartoon and the screen explodes wasn't operational, and you just walk through the exploded screen (robbing you of the entire premise, which they are announcing over the speaker system).
• Unnecessarily Trackless? The ride cars are trackless, meaning that they can move entirely independently of each other and the ride itself. But there's only two times that this really comes into play. The first is when Goofy's engine car drives off without you. The second is when you somehow end up in Daisy Duck's dance studio and your car starts dancing with her instruction. Everything else feels very much like it could have been on a track. That's a bit of a bummer, and I really wish they had more space to take advantage of it.

The Good...

• The Style. I love, love, love the 2-D style of the new Mickey & Minnie shorts. It fits the characters flawlessly and is so much fun. Plus they're original white again instead of Caucasian, which means they're more relatable to more people. And the other characters look incredible too... Daffy, Pluto, Goofy... it's all amazing. And the way that they turned the 2-D animated characters into 3-D animatronics is darn good too. The whole ride is beautifully appointed 2-D turned into 3-D and I love it.
• The Music. I swear, I have not stopped hearing "Nothing can stop us now! I'll tell ya how, we're gonna make it happen! Let's take a ride. And spend a day in the countryside!" in my head since the first time I rode it. The tune they sing is a total bop, and it's so great that they put some thought into it to make it so memorable.
• The Location. Putting a movie ride in a movie park (and a cartoon ride in a cartoon land for Disneyland) means that the ride actually makes sense for where it sits. This is something obvious that's very quickly disappearing as Disney craps out intellectual property anywhere they can cram it in.

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... The last time I was in Orlando was September, 2019. The month prior to that, Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge opened at Disney's Hollywood Studios. It was wildly popular. I figured that I would avoid the park entirely and just wait a few months because I was returning in April of 2020. Surely the crowds would die down by then! But then the pandemic happened, and it would be five years before I returned to see it.

The land is still wildly popular and crowded. Existing on the planet "Batuu," the location is called "Black Spire Outpost" and takes place during the sequel trilogy timeframe. Its story says that it was once a vibrant, thriving place but eventually became a kind of backwater trading port that's home to smugglers and sketchy outlaws. AND KYLO REN?? Who is out recruiting visitors to become First Order operatives and trying to root out Resistance spies...

There's also places to shop and eat. My favorites being the Batuu Outdoor Market with little stalls that have souvenirs, and Oga's Cantina, a very cool bar where I got my Smiling Loth Cat Tiki Mug. The entire land is very well themed, and it feels like a physical place. Which is about all you could want as a Star Wars fan.

There are two major attractions in the land...

Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run...

The story of the ride is explained in the queue and goes something like this... The Falcon is on loan to Hondo Ohnaka by Chewbacca so that he can steal some energy cells from The First Order to help The Resistance. Hondo (which is a fantastic animatronic) is accompanied by the droid R5-P8 (both characters are from The Clone Wars animated series)...

You are recruited to pilot The Falcon to do the job. As you work your way through the queue, you get to look down at The Falcon, which is awesome because it means Disney actually built the entire exterior instead of what you can only see from the ground...

And it's not just the outside, when you finally make it to the actual ride, you're literally inside The Millennium Falcon!

Once you're in the cockpit with five other people, you're divided up into six versions of three jobs... Pilot, Gunner, or Engineer. The pilots are easily the best job. If you're seated on the left you move the ship left and right, if you're seated on the right you move the ship up and down. Gunners and Engineers just press buttons that light up. You're trying to hunt down a flying transport train to blow it open so you can steal the goods. Let's recap, shall we?

The Bad...

• Pilot Error. You all have to work together to get the best score. And some people aren't suited for flying a ship at all. Or, if you're me, you've never done it before. I've played video games, which helped, but it would take 3 or 4 runs as pilot before I'd be any good.
• Mash Them Buttons. It gets worse... the Gunners and Engineers have their control buttons to their sides, but all the cool stuff is happening out the cockpit window to the front. You kinda have to use your peripheral vision to watch for buttons to light up so you can press them. If you don't and just look at your buttons, you'll miss absolutely everything happening on the ride. If you just look out the window, you'll not know when to press stuff. Because of that, I liked pilot best, but it's a high-pressure job because so much is riding on your skill to drive the mission, which cuts the fun a bit unless you've got five other understanding people flying with you.

The Good...

• The Story. Everything going on is nicely planned. It feels plausible within the framework of the Star Wars Universe.
• The Characters. The animatronics for Hondo Ohnaka and R5-P8 are fantastic.
• The Ship. Imagineers did a phenomenal job making you think that you're actually in the original Millennium Falcon. So very, very cool. Every Star Wars fan's dream.

   
And then...

The other ride is Rise of the Resistance. And it's stunning. The first time around, anyway. Basically the idea is that you're recruited by Rey and BB-88 to rendezvous with General Leia Organa. You'll get there by boarding a shuttle with a bunch of other recruits. In a very cool sequence, because the shuttle then blasts off the planet (you see yourself leaving Batuu when you look out the windows). Alas, you're captured by Kylo Ren. You then get forced off your ship to be herded into prison cells to await interrogation. But then... rescue! You're put into droid-driven cars to get you to the escape pods. A wild adventure ensues.

The Bad...

• Reliability. I rode this, then went to ride it again thanks to my having got Extended Hours at Disney Studios. It broke down before we ever made it to the shuttle. Time waiting in the queue utterly wasted, with no Lightning Lane ticket for your trouble. And the ride goes down all the time. They need to drastically look into fixing these constant breakdowns.
• Busted. There are parts of the ride that broke early on and have never been fixed. At one point you're in your car riding past a big space battle as blaster canons fire above you. Except the motion of the cannons is broke. So your car is stopping, reversing, and starting to avoid cannons that aren't even doing anything. It's pretty shitty. The parks are making millions. Fix the damn ride.
• Viewpoints. If you get a good spot, you actually see things that you won't if you don't get a good spot. On the shuttle it's entirely possible to be shoved against the wall where you can't see the ship taking off... or see Mon Calamari in the command center. You may not even know what's going on. Once you're captured and inside the ship, there's a big battle in an AT-AT bay. Where Finn(!) is there to help rescue you. Except if you're in the wrong car or in the wrong spot of the car, you might not even see him.
• The Minor Animatronics. When you are in a room with an entire legion of stormtroopers, you're shocked at first. But then you see that only a couple of them are moving, and the movements are minor. They rotate their head a little bit or whatever. It's kinda silly. More movement would have really sold it, because you spend too much time staring at frozen figures and it doesn't work.
• Re-Ridability. The only reason to re-ride this thing is because you got bad spots and didn't see stuff. Otherwise it's not such a thrilling experience that you'll want to spend 60-90 minutes waiting to ride it again. The best thing about the ride are the massive sets that are shocking to behold when you are first exposed to them. The scale of it all is mind-blowing. But once you know what to expect? There's just not much else there. I did end up riding it twice (on another day since it was busted during my extra hours event), but the second time was kinda meh.

The Good...

• The Shuttle Takeoff. It's simple, but effective. The only thing that could have made it better would have been to have a rumble floor or something to sell the illusion harder.
• The Concept. The idea of you being captured by The First Order, and how they build the story around that is pretty cool.
• The Scale. When I say that the massive scale of some of the sets are mind-blowing, I really mean it. You get deposited into a room that's so huge you have a tough time wrapping your head around it. That's an amazing achievement.
• The Main Animatronics. The Admiral Calamari and Kylo Ren animatronics are stunning. Sure the Kylo figure has a derpy moment when a hole is blasted in the room (he looks like his feet have been nailed to the floor and it looks crazy-stupid) but they're great. Other figures like Finn don't have great movement, but at least they are always moving.
• The Effects. The effects that are working are pretty good. Some of them look expensive (like Kylo Ren coming at you as his lightsaber ignites, which is some kind of screen/practical lightsaber hybrid) and some of them look simple and inexpensive (like Kylo Ren's lightsaber plunging through the ceiling to cut a hole for him to get you). But none of them look cheap (except the ones that are broken, of course).

   
Overall, I'm quite happy with the job they did on Galaxy's Edge. If you're a Star Wars fan, it's an experience to savor. There are things which could have been done better, sure. But for what it is I'm impressed. I actually wish I would have had more time there so I could have eaten at Oga's Cantina. And maybe Docking Bay 7 and Ronto Roasters too. And I am still hoping for another attraction to draw me back so I can eat there one day.

UPDATE: I was curious to know how they managed to get so many people through the queue on Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run, because the ride only hold six people at a time. I ended up on a Reddit page which had a map that explains it, and I am completely blown away. Turns out there are not six people riding at a time, there's ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY! (plus there looks to be two ADA-compliant cockpits, so I guess it's actually a max of 132 riders possible?). There are four turntables with seven cockpits each. At any given time, one of the cockpits per turntable is loading while one is unloading while five are riding the ride. GENIUS! Just look at this...

While in the ride I guess I remember that there were people standing in different parts of the holo-chess room, I just didn't think about it much because we were waiting there to get in the line at the cockpit door. Even if I did realize it, I would have sworn there was just one cockpit behind each door! This actually explains a lot, because they have groups of riders stacked up at each door at all times. Not because they're just being "ready to go," but because they are constantly loading new groups as the turntable rotates into position. I don't have the words for how smart this is. They can keep a steady stream of guests riding and yet the guests really have no idea what's happening unless they Google it like I did! Kudos to Disney Imagineering!

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... Despite liking the attraction overall, I was disappointed that Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway didn't take full advantage of their trackless cars.

But Remy's Ratatouille Adventure does, and it's a pretty brilliant ride. Finally giving the France Pavilion the great attraction it deserves, it's located in back of the original pavilion structures...

The story of the ride is that you're shrunk down to the size of a rat (while riding in rat vehicles, natch) and get dropped down a skylight into Gusteau's restaurant where evil Chef Skinner chases you and Remy around trying to catch you. Your end goal is to escape and make it back up to Remy's rooftop restaurant, Bistrot Chez Rémy.

Not much else to say except I love the attraction. So let's recap!

The Bad...

• Missing! I rode this four times trying to see everything (thank you Lightning Lane Multipass!). It wasn't until the last time that I realized I had missed part of the ride the previous three times not because there was so much going on (except there is), but because the rat car I happened to be in was at an earlier position. In rides 1-3 I was late to all the scenes. It's not critical stuff, so no big loss, but it was fun to see things I didn't previously (but wish I had).

The Good...

• The Story! While the how of you shrinking to rat-size isn't clear, it really doesn't matter. Once you're dropped into the restaurant you're trying to escape... and characters from the movie are there. Alfredo, Colette, Emilie, Pompidou, and of course Remy and Skinner. The ride makes sense within the framework of the ride and the movie. Refreshing.
• The Cars! Trackless vehicles and the ride actually relies on them being trackless. You regularly peel off from the other rat cars in interesting and seemingly random ways where more of the attraction is revealed to you. It's absolutely brilliant, and feels more frantic and chaotic to match the energy of the ride. They're also shaped like adorable rats, so... bonus!
• 4D! You wear 3D glasses because there's screens where part of the story plays out in very good 3D. But there are times you end up in 4D as well. You drive through a kitchen storage pantry where giant food ingredients are there. You run under a gas oven when the flame turns on and get blasted with heat. You drop into the kitchen and the scent of cheese and bread (I think?) are blown at you. You hide under a cart and and the giant wheels on either side start turning when you move. A mop gets flung your way and water sprays at you. It's all just so wonderfully well done.
• Delay! Now, as I mentioned in my only "bad" bullet above, the last time through I saw some things I didn't see because I was previously late to the scene. On that run, it felt a couple times that our vehicle was delayed. Maybe it was because I was there longer since my rat was first to arrive, but I don't think so. But here's the thing... if there was a delay... the ride didn't freeze up. Instead it seemed as though the scene I was in got extended. There's rats opening a bottle of champagne in your direction. On my 4th time through, the rat opening the bottle stopped and took some deep breaths several times before the cork popped. That didn't happen other times. Which makes me think there was a delay unloading vehicles or something, so things got backed up and our scene was extended on the fly. This is incredibly cool. And should be the future of attractions like this.
• The Queue. You're on the rooftops of Paris at night with a big Gusteau's billboards in the background. And you get to look in windows and such as you make your way to the load platform. It's beautiful. And sets up the ride in a really good way.

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... When I was in Orlando for work in 2017, Pandora: The World of Avatar had not yet opened. I was a month-and-a-half too early. But I was expecting good things. Years prior you could see construction of the "Floating Mountains of Pandora" (AKA "The Hallelujah Mountains," from one of the most cringe scenes in the movie when Norm pumps his fists and is all "YES!" in a moment so fucking embarrassing I seriously worried the actor would never work again). In 2019 the only parks I visited were Magic Kingdom (for a haircut and a veggie dog at Casey's Corner) and Epcot (to eat dinner in Italy and Morocco). NO PANDORA FOR YOU!

But anyway...

Here we are seven years later and I finally made it...

Now, I'm not exactly sure what "Pandora" (not the bracelet) is supposed to be. I think that, like with Star Wars Land, once you cross the threshold into Avatar Land, you're actually supposed to be on Pandora. The attractions certainly make it seem that way. When you're on the Flight of Passage ride, they say you're connecting to an avatar body not across the galaxy, but kilometers away. But unlike Star Wars Land, where there's a good transition to the area, Pandora is like... right there. You pass Pizzafari, walk across a bridge, pass a giant seed pod (or whatever it is), and BAM! Welcome to Pandora. Not a big deal, of course, but it feels like a disconnect.

I did not get to see Avatar Land at night, but apparently that's a great time to see it because things light up and look amazing. I wanted to see what I was missing so I Googled photos people had taken. And, yes, it does indeed look impressive. Next time I'll have to check it out.

But anyway...

You're in a Na'vi village with places to eat and shop for souvenirs (all expensive, some ridiculous). Plus experience two attractions.

The first is Na'vi River Journey. You board a boat and float down a Na'vi river. Hence the name. Along the way you get to see creatures and plants and stuff that makes Pandora so cool. Except the ride is just so... bad. It's boring and less impressive than just watching Avatar. I like the idea as to why it exists... you can experience Pandora at night in the daytime... and I appreciate that. But yikes. Here we go...

The Bad...

• Boring. Seriously. You don't do anything but float and look. There's no story. There's no adventure. There's nothing to do. You're just sitting there. In some ways it's less exciting than It's a Small World.
• Screen Hell. There are a grand total of two Na'vi animatronics. TWO! One waves at you as you enter and is silly. One is singing to you as you leave and is phenomenal. And while there are physical fake plants and some simple physical creatures around (like seeds of Eywa and those spinning lizards) all the interesting stuff is on frickin' screens. That alone makes this attraction pretty bad. They should have filled the thing with animatronics and made it worth your valuable time. It's pretty sad when Elle's Energy Adventure had a more exciting ride-through because at least the creatures you saw were real (well, not real-real, but animatronic-real).

The Good...

• That Na'vi Priestess Animatronic. I mean, seriously. Wow. It's gorgeous. So fluid and realistic-looking. If they had six more of these on the ride... plus some cool animatronic animals... this ride would have been a total banger. As it is, I don't know that this one thing makes the entire attraction worthwhile. Probably. If the wait isn't too long. But there's really no need to ride it more than once. And that's a serious problem. They should refresh this for its 10th anniversary in 2027, because yikes.

The other ride, Avatar Flight of Passage, is the complete opposite of all that. This one attraction makes the entirety of Avatar Land worthwhile to exist. You visit a scientific facility where you are linked with an avatar that is making a flight on a banshee. You then get to experience what the avatar is experiencing, and the way they make it all work is really cool and about as convincing as you can get until there's a big leap in technology. You put on a pair of "flight goggles" (3D glasses), climb on a link saddle, then get put in the middle of a 3D movie as your link saddle does its best to convince you that you're actually riding a banshee. It's pretty great. Unlike Na'vi River Journey, this one is worth your valuable time...

• The Logic. There's some things that don't make sense and are not addressed. It was my understanding from the movies that once a banshee gets linked and bonded with during the Na'vi right of passage, they are bonded with for life. If the rider dies, then the banshee will never bond with anybody else. Which is to say that everybody in the ride queue with you... day-in and day-out... are linking with the same bunch of Na'vi over and over and over again? Don't they get tired? If that's the case, humans must have a very limited sequence of DNA in order to link with them because surely there's a limited number of avatars and banshees available. I dunno. I'm probably over-thinking it, but I've read the Avatar books that explain all this stuff in detail and it seems like Disney and James Cameron could have done more to make this make sense.
• Discomfort. The link chairs are not exactly comfortable. Especially for me because I have a bad ankle. You're supposed to keep your feet flat on the floor while being bent forward, which is something my right foot just can't do because I injured it ages ago skydiving. I did it (in pain) while the cast members made their walkthrough, but then bent it so I wasn't crying through the entire ride. And I don't get it. There's absolutely no reason that you can't bend your foot! You're locked in, so it's not even a safety thing. Although I'm guessing that's what they'd say. I was worried that they'd kick me off the ride if I didn't so I tried to comply at the start, but it was so unnecessary. They should install pegs so people with mobility issues can at least be comfortable.

• The Tech. This is essentially a version of Soarin' except everybody is sitting on their own link chair. And those chairs are great. They move well. And they frickin' breathe! Once you're linked to an avatar, you feel what they feel and that involves the banshee breathing between your legs. They really sell the illusion of flight and it's a lot of fun.
• The Movie. The 3D film is what's going to make or break the experience. Fortunately, it's incredibly well done. The 3D is subtle so there's not weird moments where things are unrealistically punching you in the face. The flight path you take is thrilling. There's moments where you land and take in the view that keeps it feeling real. And, most importantly, it really looks like you're on Pandora.
• The Pre-Show. The queue is nothing special. But once you enter the pre-show chamber, they create a great illusion that sells what you're going to experience. Rather than just making you stand on numbers without any attempt to make it make sense, you're standing on them to get scanned so they can find a compatible avatar. You then have to go to the corresponding link chair so that you're linked with the correct avatar that you were matched with. It's a more immersive way of getting people assigned their seat than you usually see.
• Re-Ridability. Even if the experience wasn't so amazing, you'd probably still want to ride it again because the movie is so wonderfully detailed. There's stuff going on that you'll miss the first five times you ride it.

They really need to get on another attraction for Pandora so they can take down River Journey and fix it. It's a real sore spot in what could be a top-tier experience.

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind is my favorite of all the new attractions I rode. It's an immediate classic because it's so well done and so entertaining. If Disney is going to fart IP over absolutely everything, I hope it's as thoughtfully done as this. I went in expecting it to be another Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith being an indoor coaster with music... but walked out feeling like I had been slapped across the face. In a good way.

Which is not easy for me to say for two reasons...

1. It replaced Ellen's Energy Adventure, which I really liked (hey, at least the dinosaurs were actual physical animatronics instead of being crappy screens like Na'vi River Journey).
2. The attraction goes against the concept of Epcot's "Future World" which was to explain how the planet is moving into the future in a realistic way, focusing on the land, the seas, the body, energy, transportation, and the like. About the furthest it strayed was Journey Into Imagination, but even that was designed to show how dreams and imagination can be harnessed to build our future. This ride attempts to explain it away, but it really doesn't. Everything about it is fiction with no basis in reality.

But anyway...

You enter the "Wonders of Xandar" pavilion to learn about the planet (featured in the first Guardians of the Galaxy film) and the queue actually reflects that. There's exhibits and recordings and stuff all about Xandar to entertain you while you stand in line. Then you get transported through a jumphole to actually visit Xandar when, oops, a Celestial shows up and steals the Cosmic Generator to travel back in time and erase humans from existence. Just as the Celestial hops through the jumphole to the past, The Guardians show up and tell you that you will have to chase after him and retrieve the Cosmic Generator if you ever want to make it back to earth and, you know, keep existing. You board an evacuation shuttle to follow the Celestial and chaos ensues.

Not a lot for me to be critical about, but let's recap, shall we?

The Bad...

• The Location! In the queue you learn that Epcot was chosen as the location for the Xandarian outreach pavilion because it was Star-Lord Peter Quill's favorite park as a kid (especially the "Universe of Energy" pavilion, which is hilarious given that this ride replaced it). But it's completely against the whole idea of what Future World is supposed to be about, and seems so badly out of place. Unless they're going to shoehorn in IP stuff everywhere else as well. In which case Epcot is out of place in Epcot. In all honesty, I think the intellectual property mandate is going to really hurt the parks (some IP is good, but they need to remember that the attractions can also create IP... like Pirates of the Caribbean and Haunted Mansion did).
• No Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel? I don't get this at all. Even if they were unavailable when filming was done, they could have easily recorded their dialogue any time after because they play CGI characters. I don't know why they wouldn't want to contribute to a Disney attraction, but I guess that's possible? More likely Disney didn't want to pay them. Regardless, Cooper is sorely missed because Rocket isn't Rocket without him. I really do hope that eventually he gets to re-record the voice so the character feels authentic.

The Good...

• The Track & Cars! The track is laid out very well and is buttery smooth. Almost unbelievably smooth. This is something that people who don't generally like rollercoasters might be able to handle because it's Just. That. Smooth. It's got two launches and they're integrated beautifully. Launching coasters are my favorite, and while this isn't the most thrilling... it is tied with my all-time favorite (the Incredible Hulk Coaster, which was the first launching coaster I rode). Plus the cars you ride in can rotate so the ride can maximize available space by having you look in the direction they want you to look.
• The Story! The fact that rollercoasters are being given stories now makes them so much more interesting. And when the story is good, it adds an entirely new level to the usual dips, loops, and spins. The whole ramp-up pre-show is great, but it's the way it's faithfully continued during the actual ride that makes the attraction so amazing. If I have a criticism, it's that it resolves too quickly but, hey, you're on a rollercoaster, so that's not something that can really be helped!
• The Music! Paying homage to the films, you get some incredible 80's tracks to listen to as you're zipping around the cosmos. And which track you get determines the feel of the ride. The first time I rode it we got I Ran by Flock of Seagulls, and it was by far my favorite. It fit the story they're telling so well, and the beat really hit as you run through the story. Everybody Wants to Rule the World was a bit more chill and gave an entirely different vibe to the ride, which is why the re-ridability is off the charts. Blondie's One Way or Another also worked really well, and there were parts of the ride that it fit so beautifully. There are six different songs total (and I'm sure they'll get swapped out at some point), and you can't help but want to hear them all.
• The Characters! With the exception of Rocket, who could have really benefitted from Bradley Cooper's voice, it was very cool to see the entire team represented. Not just on the ride, but the queue. Drax steals the entire show every time he appears, but everybody has a good part to the story to play. Which leads us to...
• The Pre-Show! Not only did they somehow get Glenn Close to reprise her role as Nova Prime (in a huge pre-show part to the story), they also managed to get Terry Crews as a new character to inject some humor into the attraction. As if that wasn't enough, the pre-show has two parts with a very cool transition which sells the illusion of having been teleported to a ship in Xandar orbit very well. The queues and pre-shows for rides are incredibly important, and this is my favorite since Back to the Future: The Ride.
• The Length! In an age when Disney coasters are clocking in under two minutes, Cosmic Rewind is a blissful three minutes twenty. Any attraction under three minutes needs to be seriously re-evaluated, and I'd argue 3-1/2 should be the bare minimum. If you include the queue and pre-show, the ride feels even longer than it is, which is how it should be.

UPDATE: I didn't understand how the entirety of a high-speed coaster could fit in the old "Universe of Energy" pavilion, and guessed that they must have expanded it out the back somehow. So I ended up Google Mapping it. Turns out that the old building (in green) it merely the queue, pre-show, and loading area. The actual launch for the ride shoots you into another massive building entirely (in blue)...

Interesting to note that the launch takes you over a service road! Also interesting is that the building looks at least five stories tall. Maybe six. That, folks, is how you get an indoor coaster to last over three minutes! And be incredibly entertaining!

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... You only thought that I shot all my Disney World bullets last week, but it's just not true... because an all new VERY SPECIAL WALT DISNEY WORLD EDITION of Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Monsoooon! Because I've been to Orlando dozens and dozens of times over the years, I've been here at all times of year. But hurricane season is always the time that can be a bit dicey. One top of an actual hurricane (which I've experienced twice) that can shut down Walt Disney World (which I've experienced once), you usually get some showers in the afternoons. But sometimes you can get these torrential downpours that make it impossible to be out and about. On the Sunday I was at Magic Kingdom, we had one of those. And it was a rare sight indeed to see the park empty as everybody went running for cover...

Though every once in a while somebody would be running around...

   
• Weather! The thing about visiting Walt Disney World in the Summer is not just the hurricanes that can pop up, but also the unrelenting heat and humidity. I don't mind the heat, but the humidity can really get to me when it's on top of the heat. Which is why I don't mind it when there's a sprinkle or overcast clouds. On top of cooling things off a bit, you also get prettier photos...

Cinderella Castle really pops when it's not trying to compete with the glare of the sun!

   
• Send in the Drones! Rumor has it that Disney is looking into using drones as an alternative to fireworks for some shows. This is not surprising, because of the cost and environmental impact that big fireworks shows have are not great. There have been a few drone shows in the past, but the first big show I'm aware of is the Dreams That Soar show at Disney Springs. It's very well done, and some of the 3D objects that are created are incredible to behold (I'm looking at you, WALL-E and EVE). There's also a Star Wars segment that's pretty special...

Drone entertainment is just going to get better and better. Will it ever truly replace fireworks? Probably not. But given the benefits to both Disney and their guests, it's only a matter of time before we start getting drone shows in the actual parks.

   
• Secondhand Mickey! My first watch was a Timex Mickey watch that I loved. Eventually it broke, and I've always wanted a replacement. So imagine my surprise when I saw that Fossil had a new take on the old watch that was being advertised on Facebook! Except two problems. A) The price? FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS! and B) What the heck is going on when the placement of that second hand?

Nigh pornographic. Which I'm not opposed to, of course. But I am a bit hesitant to spend FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS on something which such a bizarre design to it.

   
• Country Bears Redux! The Country Bear Jamboree is an original Magic Kingdom attraction that proved so popular that it was duplicated in both Disneyland and Tokyo Disneyland. And while the Disneyland version closed over two decades ago (necessitating "Bear Country" being renamed "Critter Country"), Disney World's version kept chugging along. Until Disney finally decided to update it, reopening the attraction this July. The bears got new costumes... and new songs. This time countrified versions of Disney movie classics like You've Got a Friend in Me from Toy Story, A Whole New World from Aladdin and Kiss the Girl from The Little Mermaid. Fortunately, Baby Oscar is still in the show, except he has a hat and no longer has his teddy bear (Mayer!) that he squeaks at the end of songs. I think it's a Big Al plushie? I dunno...

Surprisingly, the new take on a classic attraction really works! It refreshes something that was badly outdated and makes it into something new. It's essentially a sing-along for the kiddos who know all those Disney songs by heart. Fun!

   
• PhotoPass-Out! Disney has loads of photographers around the park ready to take your photo in all kinds of places with all kinds of characters that you can get with a PhotoPass. And I'd probably buy one if I had kids despite the insane cost (all photos from my week-long trip cost $209.99 and a single day is $74.99), but I don't care enough about it for myself to spend that kind of money (if my friends want to buy it, that's on them!). Except... if you get a Lightning Lane MultiPass, you get your ride photos included. You also get your photos if you go on a tour that has them (like Wild Africa Trek). Sorry, but you still have to pay for your character photos with Mickey Mouse & Company. But anyway... PhotoPass has some serious problems. First, for two days during our trip there were only a handful of photographers available (no idea why), and they asked you to take photos with your phone. How bad is it to pay $209.99 to take your own photos? Second, for really popular spots, there are no photographers but an automated camera in a box that randomly snaps photos that simply cannot take the place of a real person. Third, I cannot imagine that a lot of people are paying the hideous cost to buy their photos. Instead they shoot with their phone (like we did) and pay nothing. But Disney is still paying all those photographers and still taking all those photos that are never purchased. If my PhotoPass was half the cost... say, $99... I would have totally bought it! I bet a lot of people would. If it was half the cost would they make double the money? I dunno. But I'll bet they'd make at least the same money with a lot more happy guests. Fourth, the app and website where you manage your photos is terrible. I tried multiple times to download the photos on my phone. I deleted and re-installed the app three times. Never could do it. Instead I had to you the website, which has massive problems of its own. Just look at what happened when I downloaded them...

Not only could PhotoPass be a massive perk for guests if it were affordable and worked well, I think it could be more profitable for Disney as well. But it would take a commitment to improvements that I don't think Disney would make given that they just announced a bunch of other expensive projects. And it's a shame, because PhotoPass is a brilliant idea that I think park guests could embrace more than they have.

   
• Competition! Big changes are underway in Orlando, and the new Universal Studios Epic Universe park opening up next year is driving much of it. Disney finally had to react by announcing a bunch of new stuff for Walt Disney World at D23 just last month. But it's not just their local competition that Disney has to worry about. There's other parks around the world that will be eating their lunch if they allow it. One of the biggest that I've not yet been to is Europa Park in Germany. Recently there was a fascinating documentary released which goes behind the scenes and gives you a look at what it takes to run one of these things. If you enjoy theme parks, it's worth a look...

Makes me want to have several billion dollars so I can dust off the plans for my Daveland theme park and Daveland Resort and build them!

And that's the last Disney Bullet Sunday for a while. Only a couple more Walt Disney World entries to go!

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... The last time I was in Orlando for work was September 2019. Before that I believe it went 2017, preceded by 2015, preceded by 2014? It's hard to remember because those pre-pandemic years all blend together (but are easier to remember than the period from 1990 to 2003 when I was going 3 to 4 times a year).

The Seven Dwarfs Mine Train attraction opened in 2014 in Magic Kingdom. Which is to say that I had four opportunities to ride it when I was there, but by that point I was so burned out on Walt Disney World that the only reason I'd go to the parks for was a haircut or to eat (mostly at Epcot's World Showcase, but sometimes I'd go to Magic Kingdom for Casey's Corner or Disney Studios for Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater or 50's Prime Time Cafe).

This time I finally made time to ride it.

Which is tough because you either wait in the Standby Lane for 60 to 90 minutes or you have to pay $12 for an Individual Lightning Lane to skip the wait. But, hey, at least you have the option to wait in line (unlike Tiana's Bayou Adventure, Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind, and TRON: Lightcycle Run). The ride is to the right of the castle across from The Many Adventures of Winnie The Pooh...

The ride itself is pretty cool.

The Bad...

• Length. I'm going to put this in both the Bad and Good columns. It's bad because it's under three minutes, but it's good because at least it's not under two minutes. If you've waited 90 minutes to ride or paid $12 to ride, that's not a great return on your investment.
• Price of Admission. Whether you're paying with your valuable time or paying with actual money, there's a cost to ride this attraction. I'd argue that any time you have a wait that's over an hour on a ride that you're overselling tickets to the park, but that's just me.
• Not Everybody Can Ride. When I rode it the second time, the car ahead of me had a couple on the large side trying to ride. They couldn't fit. At first I thought it was because the woman's backpack wouldn't fit on the floor because she was futzing with it and I was going to tell her that I'd set it at my feet... but that wasn't it. She couldn't get the lap-bar to lower far enough to engage. I don't know if it's because the two of them together were too big or it was just her... but she was understandably upset and on the verge of tears. What's worse is that the cast member couldn't accommodate them ride-swapping where one rides while the other hangs out with their bags, then they swap. It's not one big seat that two people sit in but two individual seats side-by-side. This is really unfair. And before anybody comments with "IF SHE WANTED TO RIDE, SHE SHOULD GO ON A DIET!" you should know that I've known people who live far healthier than I do... barely eating a salad for every meal and walking daily... that were very heavy, while I eat garbage and don't exercise and am thin. There's more to your weight than what you eat. But anyway... I don't understand why Disney doesn't have one car that's a single-wide seat which can be used by two people or one large person. Or something so that bigger people can ride. At the bare minimum they should have a "test car" out front like they do for TRON: Lightcycle Run so you can see if you can ride before standing in line 90 minutes or paying $12. Really bad form for Disney here.

The Good...

• Story. Imagineers took the time to make the ride make actual sense, which is nice. The segment in the middle which has you slowing down to see the miners in the mine actually mining is =chef's kiss= exactly the kind of thing I expect from a world-class Disney attraction.
• The Cars. Excepting the fact that they don't provide a cart which allows larger people to ride (as mentioned above) the way the cars swing from side-to-side is pretty cool. It's not a huge movement, but it's there and you do notice. Very cool.
• The Queue. A good chunk of the line is indoors and air conditioned. But it's better than that... they have interactive games and distractions you can play with here and there. Kinda nice if you're in line for an hour or more (especially if you have kids).

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... Before discussing the Disney Skyliner we have to go back in time to talk about how both Disneyland and Magic Kingdom used to have a "Skyway" that ran between the far-West side of Fantasyland and the far-East side of Tomorrowland. That may seem like a waste because the "lands" are right next to each other, but it was actually a nice way to cover quite a distance on a crowded day. Literally half the distance of the park. Plus being able to have an aerial view of the park was fun. The Disneyland version even went through The Matterhorn which was especially cool.

Both Skyways were removed in the 1990's (along with the one that was in Tokyo Disneyland). There were all kinds of excuses given... too expensive to maintain and operated... metal fatigue for the posts that the wires ran across... sight-lines being ruined... or whatever. To me it was sad news because I always enjoyed the ride, and got to experience it at both USA parks.

So you can imagine my surprise when Disney announced that Walt Disney World would be getting a Skyway to help some resort guests get to the park? Branded "Skyliner," there would be stations at both Epcot and Disney's Hollywood Studios, which means two out of the four parks would be serviced. It would run directly to the Caribbean Beach Resort, the Art of Animation Resort, the Pop Century Resort, and the brand new ugly cracker box of a hotel... the Riviera Resort...

If it's easier for you to picture it on an actual parks map, here you go...

Map and Satellite Image © Google

I wanted to try it so I decided to stay at the Caribbean Beach Resort. I had stayed there before and enjoyed it, but that was before the Skyliner was built.

And there's not really much else to be said. Time for a recap...

The Bad...

1. Crowds. Despite the fact that the line moves fairly quickly, if you try to board after a popular event (like Luminous Fireworks in Epcot or Fantasmic! at Disney Studios) you will be waiting a while. There's not much Disney can do about it, but it's a big stopping point when it comes to usefulness.
2. Wraps (or lack thereof). Half the fun of getting on the Skyliner is seeing which Disney characters will be on the wrap around your bucket. And there are loads of different ones to be had. But... inexplicably... there's also buckets that don't have a wrap. They're just a plain color with no characters or art. And it's like WTF?!? Way to crush a little boy's dreams by giving him the most boring ride ever! Note: and by "little boy" I actually mean my inner child.
3. Hours. The Skyliner shuts down about an hour after the park's regular operating hours. Which is to say that if you have extended park hours, you will have to find another way home. And while I get it, this seems kinda weak. Why not extend the hours so that everybody can get home after the park actually closes?
4. Limited Network. Disney really needs to extend the network to more parks and places. Granted, this will likely increase wait-times to get on it, but it would make it a lot more useful to more people. And, if handled correctly, may even decrease times because more people would be able to be tied up in the network at the same time.

The Good...

1. Convenience. I requested a room near the Skyliner station and got put in the Barbados section. From there it was a quick walk to the station, and made getting to Disney Studios or Epcot a breeze because it was direct service (though you have a stop at The Riviera when going to Epcot, you don't have to get off). So incredibly convenient. Especially when you're trying to get there for your early-hour admission that comes with a Disney resort stay.
2. Speed. With no traffic or stop lights in your way, the timing is darn good once you board a bucket. Especially in the early morning where there's not much of a line and you can hop on without a wait.
3. Size. Unlike the old "buckets of death" that you'd find on the old Skyways, the buckets on the Skyliner can easily hold six people. This helps keep families together and can increase the capacity of the network so more people can get through it. This isn't treated like a "ride" it's more like a valid method of transportation.
4. Fun. I was onboard just as the fireworks were going off at Epcot and it was pretty cool to be able to look out and see what was happening as I headed back to my hotel for the night. Almost makes me wish I would have made an effort to time it better!

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... I've mentioned a few times how one of my most favorite things to do at Disney World is eat. I may not have always done attractions each time I had work there, but I did eat at the resort every single time. Not only are many of the restaurants, you know, actually good... they're also imaginative, unique, and fun too. Everything from a simple churro to a full-on gourmet meal can be had at the most magical place on earth, and they're all pretty easy to get to if you're staying there. Sure it can be an expensive prospect, but if you're careful it can be worth it.

My Top Twenty places to eat at Walt Disney World (that can accommodate my vegetarian diet and mostly don't force me into a buffet or fixed price menu) are here (keeping in mind that menus change, restaurants change, and all that... though I did try to double-check that if the name changed that I had the right place and food). Sorry if your favorite is not on here. Odds are it's just because I stopped going to WDW regularly in 2019 and have missed a lot!

1. La Hacienda de San Angel (Mexico Pavilion, Epcot) If you've ever been inside the pyramid in the Mexico Pavilion (likely to ride the Three Caballeros ride that's badly in need of a refresh... like what they did for Maelstrom when it became Frozen Ever After and is now a massive hit), you know how beautiful it is. Bathed in perpetual twilight as night is falling, there's a night market and restaurant that's lit up so beautifully. But the wonderful atmosphere would be worthless for a restaurant if the food sucked. Fortunately, the food is actually very good, and the drinks are top-shelf. On top of that, the staff works with you to have a great meal. I wasn't feeling the Huarache Vegetariano this time, so I asked if I could get the guacamole and chips without the meat and the Queso Fundido without the meat and our server was happy to accommodate me. That. along with their La Cava Avocado drink (which is sublime) and I was set for a fantastic dinner.
2. Tutto Italia (Italy Pavilion, Epcot). My favorite restaurant on the face of the earth is Alfredo's Alla Scrofa in Rome. They are one of two restaurants claiming to have invented Fettuccini Alfredo. The other one being Il Vero Alfredo, also in Rome. Back in the day, the Italy Pavilion at Epcot had a satellite location for Il Vero Alfredo, and it was a happy thing for me. Although some people didn't care for the place, I loved it and ate there many, many times. The restaurant closed in 2007 and was replaced by Tutto Italia. Not the same as the restaurant I loved, but still one of my favorite places to eat in Orlando. Their crispy potatoes, green beans, and pastas are all top-notch.
3. Spice Road Table (Morocco Pavilion, Epcot). Their hummus fries are to die for, and I have been known to show up and plow through three orders of them and nothing else (but they also have tiropitakia, naan with dips, and very good desserts). I wish there was a gyro/falafel quick-serve somewhere in World Showcase, but this will have to do.
4. Via Napoli (Italy Pavilion, Epcot). If you want pizza, this is your best option in the entirety of Walt Disney World. Imported ingredients from Napoli cooked into pizza that's about as authentic as it gets, and the price tag ain't cheap. They have non-pizza options, but not ones I can eat, so this gets knocked down a few pegs even though I eat here more often than Tutto Italia.
5. Toledo (Coronado Springs Resort Gran Destino Tower). This was the last WDW restaurant I ate at during my last pre-pandemic trip. I love tapas, and Toledo had some vegetarian options on the menu, so I gave it a shot by taking a trip to the (then) new Destino Tower at Coronado Springs Resort. The food will never take the place of eating tapas in Barcelona, but it was darn good fare, and I would absolutely eat there again.
6. Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater (Disney Hollywood Studios). While the food here is not spectacular, it is pretty good, and they are happy to make a veggie burger I can eat. But it's the amazing setting that makes this a truly special place to eat. Sitting in cars while you watch old movie trailers is fun, the staff is always great, and I have eaten here many times just for the experience of it all. This is how most restaurants in the Disney Bubble should be. An escape from the usual which is more than just the food you eat.
7. Boma (Animal Kingdom Lodge) The dining at AKL is an embarrassment of riches, and it starts with the Victoria Falls Lounge, which serves up tasty drinks (and amazing African-spiced nuts, if you're lucky). And that leads smack-dab into Boma. Yeah, yeah... it's a buffet, which I usually hate. But they always have many interesting and delicious vegetarian options, so I am willing to look the other way. The celebration of African dishes is fantastic, but if you have people in your party who are not that adventurous, there's some more standard options to be had. If you avoid buffets as I do, this one is an exception you should try.
8. Casey's Corner (Main Street, Magic Kingdom). Formerly I liked their veggie dog. But now I'm fixated on their Chicago-style veggie dog, which is how all hot dogs should be eaten anyway). Regardless, I'm just happy that they offer a veggie dog at all. Seating can be a struggle, but it's worth the hassle.
9. Kona Cafe / Captain Cook's (The Polynesian Resort) One of the things that makes the Polynesian Village Resort worth staying at (assuming you can afford the ungodly price) is that they have one of the best breakfast foods on the property: Tonga Toast! Which is banana-stuffed French toast that gets deep-fried. (I KNOW!) You can order it at two locations, but I'd go for Captain Cook's Quick-Serve because it's the same thing but significantly cheaper ($10.50 vs. $17.50!). Both restaurants have dinner options worth exploring too (except I've had better luck with vegetarian fare I like at Captain Cook's as well).
10. 50's Prime Time Café (Disney Hollywood Studios). They used to have a vegetarian shepherd's pie here years ago (at least I think it was here?) that I really enjoyed. But now it's just the tomato soup, cornbread, and apple crisp that has me coming back. Just like the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater, this restaurant is themed to what I can only describe as "grandma's house" where you have servers who are happy to tell you to keep your elbows off the table and eat all your vegetables. Yet another example of how restaurants in the Most Magical Place on Earth should be designed.
11. Sanaa (Animal Kingdom Lodge) The bread service and samosas are excellent, which tend to make me ignore the fact that you get one vegetarian option for an entrée, but it's always been a darn good option (currently a vegetable curry that I'm sure is amazing). As if that weren't enough, the desserts are killer, and I've come here a couple times just for a couple sides so I can have it!
12. Earl of Sandwich (Disney Springs). I used to love this establishment, but then they removed my beloved veggie sandwich and I avoided it. Then they put it back on the menu and I was thrilled to be able to eat there again. Premium ingredients and that incredible bread that's toasted so beautifully... it all adds up to an amazing meal. The fact that it's priced (relatively) reasonably is just the icing on the cake.
13. Jock Lindsey's Hangar Bar (Disney Springs) Back when "Downtown Disney" became "Disney Springs," this Indiana Jones inspired eatery was opened. While I still mourn the loss of Pleasure Island and its restaurants and clubs (especially the Adventurers Club), I have to say that the Hanger Bar isn't half bad. It's certainly got a lot of Easter eggs for people who remember Pleasure Island and are deep into the Indy lore. The food is inventive and fun with vegetarian options I can always enjoy.
14. Jungle Navigation Co. LTD Skipper Canteen (Adventureland, Magic Kingdom) Based on The Jungle Cruise across the way, this is a fun restaurant that gets largely overlooked (which is strange because it's so big). They have some interesting vegetarian salads and entrées that are worth a look at the menu when I visit.
15. Les Halles Boulangerie-Patisserie (France Pavilion, Epcot) If you like authentic French pastries and breads, this is the place. They also have sandwiches, but the vegetarian option bounces around so I never count on it being something I'm going to want to eat. But when it is? Magical.
16. Basket at Wine Bar George (Disney Springs). An off-shoot of Wine Bar George, which is a place that I avoid because I'm not a wine drinker, Basket has a limited menu with some fantastic treats to be found. I made a trip to Disney Springs just pre-pandemic to order some just based on word-of-mouth, and was not disappointed.
17. Sassagoula Floatworks and Food Factory Scat Cat's Club Café (Port Orleans Resort: French Quarter). Apparently the beignets have moved, but if they're the same thing in Mickey shapes (using the same recipe), then great. This used to be the only place in all of WDW to get beignets, but apparently since Tiana's Bayou Adventure opened you can also get them at Magic Kingdom, except I hear they are not authentic beignets like you can get at Port Orleans Resort, so your mileage may vary.
18. Garden Grill (Future World, Epcot) This restaurant features produce that was grown in The Land which is to say that you're guaranteed some nice vegetarian options. Everything is served "family style" which is to say that it's best when you have fellow vegetarians who can share in the options available. Unfortunately (or fortunately, if it's your thing) this is currently a "Character Dining" experience. Which I don't object to (truth is that it's a fun experience which you should want to have in Disney World)... but I do object to the absurd price tag which comes with that. This ain't a cheap place to eat. But it is all you can eat so I recommend going in hungry so you can get your money's worth! I remember it when it was called The Good Turn Restaurant because it's a rotating restaurant which has views of the Living with The Land attraction where the veggies are grown. The food is good enough that I go back when I'm with people who I know will enjoy it. Otherwise the cost makes it a pass.
19. Yak and Yeti (Animal Kingdom) This isn't the best restaurant when it comes to selection for vegetarians (let's face it, few restaurants in WDW are)... but what they do offer has always been great. The problem is that Animal Kingdom Lodge is so very close, and I'd rather eat at any of their restaurants, so I don't end up here very often.
20. ABC Commissary (Disney Studios) While not the most inventive place to eat, I have been here more than a few times because I know that there will be something interesting for vegetarians to eat. I've had good salads, sandwiches, and burgers here that were all worth a stop.

A Quick Note on Tusker House... Animal Kingdom's Wild Africa Trek tour is one of my favorite things to do in the park. It's a more intimate, close-up experience than you get with the regular safari attraction. And the highlight is always lunch out on the savannah, which is prepared by Tusker House. My vegetarian lunches have been CRAZY DELICIOUS all three times I've taken the tour. So good that I was compelled to find the source and eat there the next day. Unfortunately, it's a buffet (which I usually hate) and a Character Dining Experience (which means it's expensive) which is to say it's not quite what I was hoping for. To make matters worse, the vegetarian ("plant-based") selections were not all I was hoping for. Even so, I've eaten here a couple times after just because I love African dishes so much. I think that the experience would be a much better one if you eat meat, so I thought I should throw it out there.

And a quick note about that hot dog at Casey's Corner... After eating a veggie dog Chicago-style while visiting The Windy City, I have a tough time eating a hot dog any other way. Miraculously, one of the two veggie dogs on the menu at Casey's Corner on Main Street is a Chicago-style dog! No poppy seed bun, pickle, or sports pepper, but it's darn close...

I just wish that A) It arrived hot, and B) They would keep the mustard inside the bun so you can eat it with your hands and not make a massive mess. Otherwise? This is your dream dog if you're a vegetarian.

If I were to add a 21st place to my list, it would probably be Fairfax Fare (Disney Hollywood Studios). There are many places to eat Mickey Waffles (my second-favorite thing for breakfast after Tonga Toast), and usually I recommend having them at your Disney hotel so you get a place to sit down to eat them. But if you want to rope-drop an attraction, you want to bypass your hotel so you can stand in line for a ride first thing. Then you can go have breakfast in whatever park you're at. Problem is... a lot of times there's no available seating because a lot of people have the same idea. At Disney Studios, Fairfax Fare is a good choice because there's plenty of seating...

The problem for vegetarians is that the waffles come with bacon. If you're at the park with somebody who eats it, that's fine. But if you're not, then you can tell them to keep it... but they don't credit you a buck or two. You pay the same price. Also? No butter. Syrup only. Still, good stuff.

With all my positive things to say, surely there must be some negatives (other than the cost and the fact you need a park ticket to get to many of the restaurants)? Well, yeah. Sadly, most restaurants don't have many vegetarian/vegan options in the name of efficiency. If you like the option they have, you're golden. But if not, then odds are they can't accommodate you because most restaurants don't allow you to customize their dishes.

Another negative for me, at least, is that I occasionally get dragged to restaurants that are widely considered among the best in Walt Disney World only to end up disappointed. Victoria and Albert’s (The Grand Floridian) is grossly overpriced and I didn't enjoy the food at all (though it's also nigh impossible to get a reservation because it has a coveted Michelin Star, so this likely won't even be an option anyway). The Hollywood Brown Derby (Disney's Hollywood Studios) is a restaurant that I was excited to eat at... only to find that the menu was overtly vegetarian-hostile. And the one entrée on the menu I could eat had mushrooms that they couldn't remove so I ended up with tomato soup. I used to love The California Grill (The Contemporary Resort) because the vegetarian options were incredible. But the last couple times I ate there I didn't enjoy myself as much as the price tag should have provided and the menu wasn't as varied as it was years ago. And, lastly, it's a real bummer that my most favorite of all WDW resorts, The Wilderness Lodge, used to have my favorite restaurants. But Whispering Canyon Cafe won't work with you to create vegetarian meals, leaving you only the awful vegan options that use gross fake cheese and meats... and Artist Point has been converted to a Character Dining experience with mediocre vegetarian options that's a far cry from the amazing menu they used to have when it was a restaurant. There's no place for me to eat at my hotel of choice, which is hugely disappointing.

Another negative is that many of the cart snacks are bad (though some, like churros, are fine). One day at Epcot I was hungry and our dinner reservation was a ways off. So I decided to grab a Mickey Pretzel that comes with a tub of cheese. Boy are these bad. The pretzels are tough and chewy instead of fluffy inside with a thin chewy shell. And the cheese tub your get is gloppy and gross. They are cute though...

Also... almost all of the Disney pre-packaged snacks suck SO bad. I had a bag of Chip 'n Dale pretzels that were stale and gross and sat like a lump in my stomach for hours. I had a Micky Mouse marshmallow crispy treat that was not even remotely "crispy"... it was gummy, tough, and so disgusting that I couldn't eat all of it and had to throw it away. Do you know how bad something has to be at Disney World that I toss it? Especially when you have to pay a shitload of money for it? Just... no. Bring your own snacks to not only save a ton of money, but have something you know doesn't taste like crap.

So I'm not ending this entry on a down-note, I should reiterate that eating remains my favorite thing to do when visiting Walt Disney World. There's almost always a plant-based option on the menu, so all you have to do is look at a restaurant's offerings on the Walt Disney World website to see if it's a vegetarian option you might like. And usually there is, for me. Bonus points to those fine-dining establishments where the meals are not pre-made and they can actually work with you to come up with something you'll love. To me, that's the ultimate Disney dining experience!

Here's the thing... even the "cheap" Walt Disney World resorts are expensive. That being said, they're also decent accommodations where even the least expensive of them are clean, comfortable, and safe. On top of that, all Walt Disney World resort hotels have a few nice perks (like early-entry to the parks, free transportation, and 7-day Lightning Lane pre-booking... plus Deluxe Resorts also get extended park hours some days). This is a far cry from what you used to get with a Disney resort stay (my favorites being having your purchases sent back to your room and the free Magical Express bus from the airport direct to your hotel), but it's better than nothing, and I still prefer to stay on-site than not.

Thanks to my many years of having work in Orlando, I've actually stayed at all but three of the resorts. Granted, this was years ago, so many of the ongoing remodels have been lost on me... but I can comment on what I experienced at the time. I know that most people would separate out the "Villas," "Bungalows," "Towers," and whatever other "Vacation Club" extensions they keep adding to the resorts, but I've not stayed at any of them so I won't (though I have stayed at Saratoga Springs, a DVC resort).

But first, a warning... these resorts are huge and there are many different types of rooms and locations for rooms. So my experience might not be your experience. Plus Disney is remodeling and changing things all the time, which means my experience may not even be relevant any more!

Before I get to my rankings, I should also disclose that there's three properties I haven't stayed at...

• Old Key West Resort (DVC-DELUXE $$$$). It's a Vacation Club property, which doesn't mean I can't stay there... I just never ended up there because it wasn't on the roster I was on. There are Vacation Club members who made this their home property and love it, so it definitely has its fans.
• Riviera Resort (DVC-DELUXE $$$$). This is the newest hotel in the most magical place on earth and I have zero desire to stay there. Looks like a big, boring cracker box of a building that could be a hotel anywhere. I'm sure it's been randomly farted on with Disney IP (intellectual property), but it's just not interesting enough for me to bother. If I was still working in the area I'd probably end up here eventually, and I'm sure the rooms are amazing, it's just not the experience I want when staying at WDW. Maybe I'll go if the restaurants have good word of mouth?
• Shades of Green. This is an "Armed Forces Recreational Center," which means you have to be an active member of the armed services or have retired from service to even step foot on the property. I think there are special exceptions beyond that, but it's things like being discharged yet having earned a Purple Heart or having been a Prisoner of War or having otherwise suffered serious injury or been disabled in combat. There may be other ways, but they're all military-related and off-limits to me.

And now for my rankings...

The Wilderness Lodge in 1997 from a photo I shot while boating on Bay Lake!

1. Wilderness Lodge (DELUXE $$$$$). The first Disney World hotel I stayed at, and is still my favorite. Easily the best theming of any property, I love the design of absolutely everything this hotel has to offer. It's like staying in a grand lodge in the Pacific Northwest... in Florida. I love the rooms with their woodsy aesthetic and spacious accommodations. The only downside is that the restaurants, which used to be my absolute favorite, are now sub-par for vegetarians. And what's worse, you can't really work with the servers or kitchen to accommodate your specific needs like you used to because so many of the dishes have components that are pre-made. I wish the top-tier resorts would go back to being more flexible in their food options, because the "efficiency model" they're running is killing the dining experience for people like me. But, yeah, the primo location, the beautifully appointed public spaces... and even the price, which isn't terrible (when compared to other Deluxe resorts near Magic Kingdom). I could stay here every time I not be disappointed.
2. Animal Kingdom Lodge (DELUXE $$$$$). This would likely overtake my top spot if not for two reasons... 1) You have to get a pricey Savannah View room to make it worth staying here... and 2) It is really far away from everything except Animal Kingdom. That being said, it was also designed by Peter Dominick (who designed the Wilderness Lodge) and is absolutely beautiful. The theming and details are all top-notch. Plus they have the best restaurants of any of the resorts. The only negative is the drumming. Cast members have drumming performances often. There's drums for kids to bang on. It's all drums all the time. I like it for atmosphere, but it's too much and get very, very tiring if you stay here for several days. But hey, if you can afford an amazing Savannah View room, there's nothing quite like seeing animals right out your window.
3. Polynesian Village Resort (DELUXE $$$$$$). To a great many people, this is their favorite resort in all of Disney World and I get it. Excellent theming. Great restaurants (Tonga Toast, baby!). Wonderful rooms. A killer location. The Polynesian has it all. Maybe if it was my first resort it would be my #1, but I just prefer the architecture and aesthetics of the Wilderness Lodge and Animal Kingdom Lodge. Still, this is an amazing resort... assuming you can afford the price tag. My biggest negative, and it pains me to say this because I absolutely love the movie, is that Disney has leaned hard into the Lilo & Stitch theming. I think it was a much more authentic and immersive experience before they did that. Then they slapped Moana on top of that! Still, if you've got the ungodly amount of cash required, I wouldn't miss an opportunity to stay here because it still has a lot of the magic that makes it such a great Walt Disney World resort. In many ways I'd say that this is the most "Disney" of the resorts they have.
4. Caribbean Beach Resort (MODERATE $$$). Back before Skyliner came, this was my #7 pick. But with the addition of a Skyliner stop (and nicely renovated rooms), this has become the best of the "moderate" resorts. Sure the bathrooms are cramped (which makes showering a chore) but otherwise the rooms are clean, fresh, and comfortable. Plus the atmosphere is expansive and laid back in a way that the newer, more expensive Riviera doesn't have at all. The only negative is that Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom can't be reached by Skyliner so you have to rely on busses which make many stops to cover the entire resort. We never had to jump to the more plentiful Riviera busses with their one stop (as some people do), but I guess that's an option if you don't mind a walk to get back to your room.
5. Pop Century Resort (VALUE $$). I liked this "value" hotel before it got a Skyliner stop, but now that it has one? It's very good. It's always been my go-to resort to recommend whenever people ask me where they should stay in Walt Disney World that's not crazy-expensive. It's still pricey, of course (all WDW rooms are), but it's got value for the money. Except for the restaurant, which is inexplicably not that great and extremely limited. That aside, the big downside here is that everybody knows how good it is so sometimes booking it can be rough. If that happens to you, I'd invite you to look at the Art of Animation resort that's just across the pond and shares many of the things that make Pop Century such a solid choice.
6. Port Orleans Resorts (MODERATE $$$). There are two sides to the Port Orleans portfolio, and I'd give the edge to French Quarter over Riverside, if forced to choose. This is because French Quarter has Sassagoula Floatworks and Food Factory Scat Cat's Club Café, where you can get authentic beignets! (apparently the beignets have moved?) It's also the smaller of the two and closer to where you want to be. As a "moderate" resort, the rooms are perfectly clean, comfortable, and serviceable... and I believe that I've stayed here more than any other resort over the years. I never minded. It's not too far from Epcot, which is my preferred dining spot, and is near Disney Springs and their restaurants as well. But most of all it's taking inspiration from my favorite American city, New Orleans, and gets some touches just right.
7. Beach Club Resort (DELUXE $$$$$). I've stayed here twice. The first time I stayed here was in a room that was odd in weird ways. I still don't know if it was a failed studio concept room or what, but it was a very different experience from my second stay which felt more "classic hotel." This hotel is an easy walk to Epcot (just 5 minutes!)... but also within reach of Disney Studios (about a 20 minute walk)... which is pretty sweet. And speaking of sweet, this resort is home to Beaches & Cream Soda Shop which is a fantastic place to not only treat yourself to all kinds of ice cream sweets, but also eat (their grilled cheese and tomato soup is great). The aesthetic is probably best described as "Great-Grandma's Bedroom" (but apparently they got refreshed recently, so I don't know what's happening there now). Probably the best thing about this place is the Stormalong Bay water park it shares with the Yacht Club next door. It's an attraction unto itself, and worth looking into if you like that kind of thing.
8. Saratoga Springs Resort & Spa (DVC-DELUXE $$$$). The reason I like this resort so much... what really sells me on the property... is that it's within walking distance of Disney Springs and all its many amazing restaurant options (the last time I stayed here I had a five minute walk to Earl of Sandwich!). It's also fairly quiet, not attracting families with kids like with other resorts because of its lackluster-to-non-existent Disney theming and location away from the parks. If you're looking for Disney "magic" you'd be hard-pressed to find it here. But for the rest of us (and especially those of us at WDW to work?) it's a solid, though expensive, choice with wonderful rooms plus great dining within the resort and outside of it nearby. Which is to say that the reasons I like it is why many people give it a pass, and that's okay.
9. Art of Animation (VALUE $$). I moved this up several notches because, like it's sister property Pop Century, it now has a Skyliner stop. When I stayed here it was fairly new, and was erected to take the place of the other half of Pop Century that was never finished and ultimately abandoned. The big feature of this hotel is that it has large "family suite" accommodations which can sleep six people. Myself and a colleague ended up splitting one of these suites and I gotta say it's pretty nice. There's a separate bedroom with its own bathroom, so parents have a way to escape the kids for a minute. If you're a larger family, this could be your best bet. Another claim to fame? It's apparently got the largest pool of any Disney resort property, if you're into that kind of thing. The down-side is that you get one restaurant and I wasn't at all impressed. I'd advise you to go across the lake, but the offering at Pop Century isn't much better.
10. Swan & Dolphin (DELUXE $$$$). I've only stayed at the Dolphin half, but I'm guessing it's pretty similar to the Swan half? I dunno. These properties are infamous for being non-Disney properties on the Disney property. I think Disney needed cash, so they took money from Marriott which allowed them a spot to build hotels which have the same benefits of a Disney Deluxe Hotel but at a lesser cost. And you do get serious good value for the money at these properties (better room for less!). Though it's not perfect. We went mini-golfing at Fantasia Gardens and took the Swan's bus back to Magic Kingdom. Except we had a very long wait before the bus arrived. We would have been better off walking to Disney Studios and taking their bus. This is a serious problem. I'm guessing the total time spent is no less than staying at an off-site hotel. So... more bang for your buck over similarly-priced Disney resorts. But ultimately lesser in important ways too.
11. Contemporary Resort (DELUXE $$$$$). Back in the day, this used to be a hotel that I was thrilled to be dropped in. It was smart, elevated, and beautiful. Plus it had a really good location when it comes to getting to the Magic Kingdom. But then... it started going downhill. The atrium keeps getting all kinds of crap shoved into it, needlessly distracting from the cool monorail run and gorgeous Mary Blair mural. This includes one of the worst restaurants in WDW, Chef Mickey's, which turned me off of eating buffets (except for Boma at Animal Kingdom Lodge, of course). It's trash despite costing over $50 for dinner and breakfast! Some of the rooms got an Incredibles makeover, which sounds seriously cool (seriously, the vibe of The Incredibles is a perfect match for this hotel), though I hear Disney did it on the cheap so it's not as good as it could have been. Regardless, some of the public areas are still pretty cool despite it all, and it's a classic resort that helped to define what it means to stay with Disney, so I'm not opposed to staying there. I just wish Disney would give it the love it deserves and make it be worth the cost to stay.
12. Coronado Springs Resort (MODERATE $$$). This is not a brilliantly Disney-themed property with a fabulous location... but I do like staying here because it was so perfect for my work needs. It's got nice rooms. It's quite. It's got a great size desk. Plus it's now got Toledo, a tapas restaurant that I would never tire of eating at. And if I ever do get tired of it, Epcot is right next door and a short bus ride to all their great restaurants. There were many questionable choices made when they built this property, but for the money it's a good choice to be on-site and get the dwindling benefits that a Disney hotel gets you. Plus they opened up the "Gran Destino Tower" (home of Toledo) which looks pretty great, especially for a "moderate" resort, so if this appeals to you, you might want to check into it.
13. Grand Floridian Resort & Spa (DELUXE $$$$$$$). This is THE premiere resort at Walt Disney World, and tops many people's lists at WDW for its luxury and opulence. And the rooms are nice, I guess... albeit a bit bland and not themed or utilized well. But luxurious? Not even. It's all done on the cheap. It's fake, and designed badly. To me it has the stylings of a brothel and the restaurants are overpriced and aren't great for vegetarians with options I didn't care for. It's just a big, faux-fancy, wildly-expensive hotel that happens to be close to Magic Kingdom, and I just don't get the love for it. The only thing I thought it did well was the activities, but are they worth the cost? No. If I was the one footing the bill for the one time I stayed there, I would have been pissed. I hear it's been updated recently... so maybe it's better now? Other than visiting during the holidays to get me some gingerbread, I rarely end up here even to visit.
14. Boardwalk Inn (and Conference Center) (DELUXE $$$$$). The whole concept of an old-timey hotel on a boardwalk is a great start. Add to that the easy walkability to both Epcot and Disney Hollywood Studios, and it's tough to beat a stay at the Boardwalk. Except... the resort feels way too expensive for what you get. Even the rooms overlooking the parking lot are pricey. But if you want a view of the boardwalk itself? Hope you got some serious cash on hand. Another ding to the property are the pools, which seem so weak compared to what you get across the lake at Beach Club (also a DELUXE). Overall this isn't a bad resort at all. I'd stay here in a heartbeat. But not at the money they're charging.
15. Yacht Club Resort (DELUXE $$$$$). Conceptually, this resort should place higher than the Boardwalk Inn above. But there's one thing that makes that impossible for me. It's frickin' boring. I'd far rather stay at the Beach Club next door because it feels more fun. Which is a shame, because it's definitely a pretty property. It's just that I expect something more exciting when staying with Disney. On the plus side, you do get access to the Stormalong Bay water park shared with the Beach Club.
16. All Star Music Resort (VALUE $). Full disclosure... I haven't actually stayed here. But I did crash here with a colleague when I didn't feel like finding my way back to the off-site Hilton after having too much to drink at the Victoria Falls Lounge (in the Animal Kingdom Lodge). That counts, doesn't it? The hotel is just so... basic... but you do get whatever perks are left when staying at a Walt Disney World resort, so that's about the best thing I can say about it. If you're on a tight budget but want Disney accommodations, this is an option for you.
17. All Star Movies Resort (VALUE $). This would be my dead-last choice because it's just so far removed from everything and it's older... but at least it was fairly quiet. If you are just looking for a basic, relatively cheap, no-frills hotel within the Disney Bubble, this will serve you well if your expectations are kept in check. I only stayed here once for one day and it was fine.
18. All Star Sports Resort (VALUE $). I'm not into sports and when I stayed here it was incredibly noisy. I needed to be able to work, and that was made far more difficult with a bunch of screaming kids running around (and not just little kids, a lot of older kids as well). I did my level best to not stay here because once was enough. Maybe if you're lucky enough to get a quiet stay it's good?

Finishing up with my entries on my recent(?) trip to Walt Disney World... I thought I'd end my near THREE WEEKS(!) of Disney-related posts by talking about the future.

As summed up in my entry about the announcements of D23, Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World is getting its own version of Cars Land. I had thought that it was being put BEHIND Frontierland...

But nope. It's going INSIDE Frontierland, and they're paving over the Rivers of America to get it there...

Now, on its surface, this doesn't seem like the worst idea... for Walt Disney World (the same thing cannot be said for the original at Disneyland, which is sacred). The rafts to Tom Sawyer Island (not to mention the island itself) is hardly popular any more. And the Liberty Square Riverboat barely has people on it most times. So why not pave it over and put in attractions which people will actually want to experience?

When I was in Magic Kingdom on my trip, I didn't want to visit Tom Sawyer Island, but I did want to say good bye to what the park would be losing. So every time I walked around the "river" I was sure to take a good look...

And then I had pause.

It's not that the attractions on the river and on the island are not very popular and it would be good to have something people will actually want to visit... it's the aesthetic of what the river and island provide for the area around them.

Frontierland and Liberty Square have their entire vibe defined by their location being along that lazy river. It's scenic. It's relaxing. And walking along the body of water makes it feel a bit cooler on a sweltering Summer day. Removing it is going to have a serious affect on visiting these areas. An argument could be made that a river is a bit out of place in Frontierland given the dusty frontier town they're striving to replicate, but that's not the point. It's not what it's supposed to be, it's what it is now.

I think that the area will suffer once the river is gone.

Though I'd have a tough time arguing with Disney management to keep investing the money needed to maintain and improve the river and island when they're clearly one of the most unpopular areas in the park.

And then we need to jump over to Disney Hollywood Studios, where Monstropolis (the city from Monsters, Inc.) will be located. Rumor has it that they will be paving over Muppets Courtyard for that (and probably blowing into the employee parking lot behind it a bit)...

Map and Satellite Image © Google

Now if Muppets Courtyard has to be leveled for anything, I'd rather it be paved over to join Star Wars Land (on the left) with the Star Wars Star Tours ride (on the right), and be used to add another Original Trilogy attraction...

Map and Satellite Image © Google

That would complete Star Wars Land and also give us a bit more Original Trilogy to experience which, let's be honest, is what everybody would rather have anyway. Then Monstropolis could be put in its entirety in the employee parking lot like so...

Map and Satellite Image © Google

Now, this would necessitate some serious Imagineering because foot traffic would have to go over (or under!) the Cypress Drive access road, but doing that would further separate Monstropolis from the rest of the park, so I choose to think of it as a good thing. And of course they'd have to find a spot for employees to park, but that's the easiest of all problems to solve because they could be shuttled from the lot to the park fairly easily. And the payoff? Well, just look at how big Monstropolis would be able to be! You could really do it justice in an area like that (plus have room for expansion).

And lastly we need to jump over to Animal Kingdom, where Tropical America Land will go. I think the biggest problem with this entire concept is that I can't see how any of it relates to animals. It's built around Indiana Jones Adventure and a Casa Madrigal boat ride? WTF? There's also the matter of dinosaurs being incredibly popular with kids and DinoLand USA being fairly well done (and dinosaurs being, you know, animals)... which makes it a little tough to think about it being ripped out. But, again, I'm guessing they wouldn't be paving it over if it were popular enough to keep. And if DINOSAUR wasn't such a badly nerfed version of the original Countdown to Extinction.

And there it is. The future. Maybe. Because Disney could just be announcing all this to counter what's happening over at Universal Studios' "Epic Universe." They could cancel any of it or all of it at any time.

Which would be pretty bad, because they certainly needs to do something to stay relevant in the Florida theme park business.

I used to go to Orlando 3 or 4 times a year for work, so it was inevitable that I would get caught in a hurricane at some point. And I did twice. Although since Orlando is so far inland, a hurricane there is not the same as it is when you're on the coast. It's heavy rains and strong winds while life goes on (mostly) as usual.

Except when it doesn't.

Your flight might get delayed or canceled (but that's always a possibility... hurricane or no hurricane). Maybe places will close early because they know people likely won't be wanting to go out in the weather. Or maybe plans will have to be changed for one reason or another. But it's rarely something serious.

Except when it is.

For one of the hurricanes I was in town, Walt Disney World actually closed. Which almost never happens because Disney loves money, and shuttering the parks for even a day costs them millions. This past Thursday when Hurricane Milton was battering Florida, I thought to look at the Disney app (which is still on my phone) only to see this...

Walt Disney World is open 365 days a year, so seeing everything closed tells you how serious they were viewing the situation. A quick Google search reveals that Walt Disney World has only been closed 11 times since they opened in 1971, which really drives it home.

You'd think that people would appreciate how Disney is willing to shut down to keep people safe when things get serious, but not everybody feels that way. Some people were livid that Disney would dare ruin their vacation by closing. Never mind that a potentially deadly hurricane was poised to tear through the place, WHAT ABOUT MEEEEE?!?

The parks were open the following day (Friday) and no worse for wear, so all those people griping about their "ruined" vacation only lost one day.

When it comes to Milton, it's a miracle that things weren't much worse than they were. They were certainly projected to be. I was seriously wondering if Disney World was going to be trashed or at least seriously damaged. But it wasn't, and Mickey Mouse lives to take our money another day.

My one and only trip to Montana was not great. It was pretty much just driving from my home in Central Washington through 3/4 of Montana to a town east of Billings that was in the middle of nowhere. I was undertaking this 12-1/2 hour insanity because my then-girlfriend wanted to attend an event for her parents, but didn't want to fly for some reason.

Our relationship did not survive the trip (which I mentioned in the "Idaho" entry on my Drunkest City in Every State entry). But the charming little city of Missoula was early enough in our journey that I have some good memories of it. The downtown, for example, is really nice. We stopped in the city after a detour to Glacier National Park, which was also nice (but insanely crowded because it was in the middle of the Summer tourist season). So far as a stop for lunch as we headed back to I-90, Missoula was aces.

But I have to really struggle to dredge up good memories of Montana (in general) or Missoula (specifically) because of how everything ended up from that trip. Indeed, the first thing that popped into my head when I found out I'd be flying into Missoula so I could attend my brother's wedding was this scene from Twin Peaks...

Leland Palmer being possessed by the demon entity BOB was not great for poor Maddie's health, alas.

But anyway...

I woke up at 5am this morning so I could head to Seattle by 5:30. This excited the cats muchly because they assumed they were getting fed early. Not being one to deny them anything, I gave them a treat before their breakfast dropped two hours later.

This being Fall, the sun was nowhere to be seen when I departed and it was dark out. I had driven short distances in the dark a couple times since having the lenses replaced in my eyeballs, but this would be the first time driving for an extended period of time. And it was much better. No halos. A manageable amount of glare. Which is a world of difference from the massive glare that was so bad before my surgery that I was afraid to drive at night and avoided it whenever possible. I'm not saying that I am now totally comfortable driving at night again (especially places I've never been before), but at least I'm able to again.

The drive to Seattle was a piece of cake, and I made it to the airport with plenty of time to spare.

So of course my flight was delayed.

But that's hardly Missoula's fault... BUT IT ACTUALLY WAS MISSOULA'S FAULT BECAUSE IT HAD BEEN COVERED IN FOG ALL MORNING! After making everybody wait, they announced that they were in a rush to get us on the plane so we could make it to Missoula before the snow. And I was like "SNOW?!?" Except once we finally arrived, this was the weather at the airport...

So, yeah, travel is just as inexplicable and strange as it was when I stopped because of the pandemic back in 2019.

Life makes more sense back home with my cats.

I'm home again and the bullets are flying... because a very special all new all Montana Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Roadside Attractions! Whenever I travel (and especially when I am traveling through rural areas of the USA) I always consult with Roadside America to see what cool, interesting, or crazy stuff might be around. I'm especially into the oddities that get reported, but the more traditional attractions are nifty too. The South Missoula, Montana region I was in didn't have a lot of listings, but there were a few. The first being The Squashed Cat concrete sculpture which sits outside a parking garage in Missoula proper...

Next up was the Giant Silver Slipper...

And lastly there was Cowgirl in a Beer Mug...

Roadside America never disappoints. I took a pass on the Wall of Elk Heads and the Doll Museum.

   
• Hands-Not-Free Driving! The rental car I got was a new Chevy Malibu. It had some features I really wish I had on my old piece of shit car (backup cameras, for one), some features I hated (the braking system is abhorrent, and I never felt truly in control of the car), and some features I am on the fence about. The biggest being something called "Lane Assist." There are cameras that can see the lane boundaries, and if the car thinks you are getting too close to one side or the other, it will nudge your wheel in the opposite direction. At first I was confused because I had no idea this was a feature... but it didn't take long before I understood what was going on. It's kinda cool in many respects, but when I tested it? Not so much. I let go of the wheel as I was approaching a corner with no other cars present. The car dutifully drifted back to the center of the lane. But then continued to drift until it went over the center line. The next time I tried it, the car started ping-ponging around the lane a bit. But here's the real problem... when they repair roads with tar, it's shiny for a while. When the light hits it just right, it appears white. The Lane Assist sees this as a lane border, gets all confused, then kinda freaks out. So... while this is a nifty feature in theory, I think that I'd opt to turn it off because it proved to be more annoying than anything else.

   
• WARNING! There is one more "feature" in the Chevy Malibu that I found stupid as hell. When I was testing the "Lane Asisst" I took my hands off the wheel, but was still very much ready to take over if something went wrong (and had to more than once!). But the car took my non-driving to be an indication that I wasn't paying attention and was texting on my phone or something. Because this is the message it displayed on the center console...

And it's like... I was focused on driving. UNTIL I HAD TO READ THIS MESSAGE! What the fuck? The car takes your attention away from driving to tell you to focus your attention on driving? Who thought this was a good idea? The car also offered a helpful suggestion on the main console...

Yeah, buddy. I'll get right on that.

   
• It's Big! Montana's nickname is Big Sky Country, and you see it everywhere... even when you were near mountains like I was...

BUT ZOMFG! THE CONTRAILS! LOOK AT THE CONTRAILS! THE GUBERMINT IS OUT TO KILL US AND CONTROL THE WEATHER WITH PLANES DUMPING CHEMICAL CONTRAILS! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! Or it's just frozen water vapor that is released in the exhaust when jet fuel is burned. Maybe it's just that.

   
• And speaking of the gubermint trying to kill us! I have long believed that Montana must be one of the reddest states in the country. When I looked into it, I was very wrong. They don't even crack the top ten. Don't get me wrong... they're still pretty red because they clock in at #16 on the list, but it's not the overwhelming slam-dunk I thought it was. Which explains why there are a lot of campaign posters out. And some of them are just so bizarre as to lapse into crazy territory. One that I saw that had me mentally checking out. I was leaving Target and a guy was sitting in a lawn chair after a long line of Trump posters... one of which said "STOP THE LIBS FROM KILLING MONTANA'S CHILDREN!" And I was like "Whoa! Did Biden ride through town on a horse with a shotgun and start shooting every child he sees? I must have missed that in the news." Naturally, I'm assuming that this had to do with abortion, but some of this shit is so insane that I am never 100% sure. All I do know is that most of the talking points against abortion are such outlandish lies that I can't take the arguments seriously... even though my own faith believes all life is precious and abortion isn't really on the table except in cases where other life will be lost or compromised. And yet... this IS still fucking America, so my personal beliefs don't get to dictate what other fucking people do. That comes from believing in the freedom American's have to choose their own faith. Or no faith. But I guess some people don't give a shit about liberty unless everybody believes the exact same they do, and that's also America. Unfortunately.

   
• Home Again! My initial plans were to meet up with a friend tomorrow and go snap photos in Glacier National Park. I have already been, but it was the middle of Summer when the crowds were insane. I thought it might be nice to walk around the parts of the park that are still open and play around with the camera on the iPhone 16 Pro. Alas my friend had something come up and couldn't make it, so I decided to change my flight and come home a couple days early. Boy have I turned into a homebody as I've gotten older! There was a time I would have just forged on ahead and went looking for adventure. Now I'd rather sit on the couch watching television with my cats. Especially as the weather turns colder!

   
And there you have it. My two days in Montana are over, and I probably won't be flying anywhere until next year, so I guess that's the extent of my travels in 2024. At least that's what my cats are probably hoping.

For two decades my work took me to Orlando. The first six years were for a side-hustle doing contract work. The remaining fourteen were doing volunteer work with an organization that I fell into while working my side-hustle.

During that time I spent a lot of time at the Walt Disney World Resort. So much time that I grew tired of goofing around in the parks, and usually only went to Epcot to eat because I loved the restaurants and they were an easy bus-ride from whatever Disney hotel I was staying at. The biggest exception being when my mom wanted to go with me for something to do, usually around Christmastime. There were other times that co-workers would convince me to brave the crowds and ride the attractions, but it was increasingly rare up to when I stopped going in 2019.

I've always loved the Disney parks, ever since my parents took a side-trip to Disneyland when I was a kid. But what I loved more then experiencing the parks was the imagineering design behind the parks. Over the years I've bought loads of books and watched all the documentaries and commentaries I could find about building Disneyland and the other resorts around the world.

For the longest time, Disney imagineers put a huge amount of thought into what they were creating. Above everything else in their work, it was the story the governed every decision they made. There was a reason for everything they did, and even the smallest details are sweated over.

Now-a-days, Disney management doesn't seem to give a shit. Story? Who cares! Just slap intellectual property on everything and call it good! Doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense that Mickey Mouse is being injected into the attraction, just fucking do it!

And here we are, losing one of the most well-storied areas of Walt Disney World: Dinoland U.S.A. in Animal Kingdom. The story of which has been well documented by the guy over at Poseidon Entertainment...

I knew about the very cool story of Dinoland U.S.A. because I bought the Animal Kingdom "Making Of" book on one of my earliest Orlando work trips. That was probably four to five months after the park opened, and the story of the land was still important...

Now, of course, the idea of "story" at the parks is fairly antiquated. Which is a shame. It sure adds a lot of depth to the park.

I guess it was good while it lasted.

Now everybody is going to have to go to Universal Studios, I guess.

More information out of Disney today over their Walt Disney World expansion plans to counter Universal Studios unleashing Epic Universe.

As had long-been surmised, they are indeed plowing under Muppet's Courtyard in Disney's Hollywood Studios to make room for the new Monstropolis "land" based on Monsters, Inc. There was always hope that Disney would find another place for their plans and preserve the last project Jim Henson personally worked on (MuppetVision 3d) but, alas, it was not to be. Apparently Disney is looking into options to preserve the film, but the film doesn't work without the theater so I have no idea how they're going to do that.

As a consolation prize, Aerosmith's Rockin' Roller Coaster is going to transition into Muppet's Rockin' Roller Coaster which leads to an entirely new group of questions...

© Disney

Primary of which is this... you're putting The Muppets on a rather intense roller coaster? Aren't kids going to want to ride that? Won't they be shocked to discover that Kermit and Miss Piggy aren't promoting a kid-friendly attraction? Will parents even be warned that this isn't a kiddie coaster? No idea. I also question The Muppets being next to Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, but they had Lightning McQueen's Racing Academy next door for years, so who knows? Apparently theming has gone out the window at the Disney parks. Except to say that the new Disney Villains that replaced the Cars show isn't quite so bad a fit.

But back to Monstropolis which, admittedly, looks very cool...

© Disney

Back when speculation was running hot that Muppet's Courtyard wasn't long for this world, I was perplexed as to why they didn't come up with a new Star Wars Original Trilogy ride to sit between Star Wars: Star Tours and Galaxy's Edge (AKA "Star Wars Land")...

Map and Satellite Image © Google

I understand wanting to keep Galaxy's Edge an immersive experience, but come on... you could have a new Star Wars ride to link them together at least. Then put Monstropolis in the parking lot back there...

Map and Satellite Image © Google

It's getting increasingly disappointing how Disney doesn't seem to give a shit about their parks telling a story and being consistent in their theming. They could have bit the bullet and put Monstropolis above Toy Story Land so that the Pixar stuff was together, but no. They could have put a new Muppets attraction in the Lightning McQueen's Racing Academy building and built a new Muppets area around the re-theme of Rockin' Roller Coaster , but no. They could have saved the Disney Villains stage show for the new Disney Villains Land, but no. They could have made even a tiny effort to bridge the two Star Wars areas, but no. There's absolutely zero shits given about maintaining any illusions of immersion. It's just shoe-horn shit in anywhere you want so long as it's got Disney Intellectual Property slapped on it and who gives a fuck?

There are so many things that I think would disappoint Walt Disney about the way his vision for Disney World have been laid to waste. He wanted the parks to keep growing and changing so they were always relevant and reflecting emerging technologies. But there's a way to do that and preserve the idea that you're escaping into other worlds and not just visiting attractions in a theme park.

Disney Parks has so badly lost their way, and these new projects will be a point of no return for the idealogy that's made them so good for so long. Sure they're going to have some killer rides... but that isn't always everything.

Back when I was young, naive, and traveling the world, I spent my fair share of sleeping in stations, hostels, and on trains. It always seemed like such a waste to spend money on lodging because the more money I saved, the more I got to travel. Far better to spend my money on flights, transportation, museum fees, and food than "wasting" it on a hotel!

Then... as I entered my late 20's... I decided that globetrotting a little less so I could stay in a cheap hotel was a better way to travel. I got tired of having to carry a bike-lock to secure my backpack to my train seat or hostel bed so it wouldn't get stolen while I slept.

Then... somthing happened in my early-30's that changed everything. I started traveling regularly for work where I got to stay in nice hotels. Nothing crazy... not a room at the Ritz Carlton or anything... but nice hotels that were a big step up from the Motel 6 or Super 8 rooms I was used to.

It was very hard to stay at the Hilton for work then stay at an ultra-budget hotel for personal travel. And so I started adding vacation days to work trips so I could make my money go further and be able to afford nicer hotels. Have work in Germany? Add a cheap flight to Spain after my work is over! Far cheaper than flying to Spain on my own! Between work-work and charity-work, I was in Europe and Asia fairly often, so I got to see a lot of the world without having to foot the bill entirely by myself.

Thanks to the pandemic, my travel for work-work and charity-work abruptly came to a halt in January 2020 and never recovered. In the past five years I've taken exactly three trips requiring plane travel.

Next year I have two trips planned (so far), and that's what sent me down lodging memory lane.

But also got me to thinking...

If I were starting out traveling today, would I be sleeping in a bus station or checking into a hostel? Probably, I guess? I mean, people still do it (obviously), but it seems less safe than it was in the late 80's. Though I fully admit that this is likely more perceptual than anything else. My odds of getting assaulted in a bus station while sleeping may have been less back then, but it was never zero.

The issue that gives me pause on saying that now-a-days I would be staying in a hotel is the expense of it all.

Travel is so much more expensive than it used to be. And hotel rooms almost comically so.

If I were starting out with travel today on a starving post-college student budget, I wouldn't be able to afford to stay in a hotel. Heck, I can barely afford it now! I feel bad for young people in 2024... particularly young families... trying to afford a vacation. Just being able to afford a place to live, food to eat, and American "health" care takes all your money.

Wintertime driving over the mountains in my neck of the woods can be a scary prospect.

Because even though WhizDOT (aka WSDOT, the Washington State Department of Transportation) and their awesome crew of dedicated workers does an exceptional job keeping the roads cleared, heavy snows can overwhelm the system. Whiteout snow conditions married with ice, deep slush, and morons who drive like assholes is a recipe for disaster, and I've experienced more than my fair share of terrifying experiences over the years.

And yet... if you gotta go, you gotta go, and that's just the way it is.

Plus, it's pretty...

Fortunately my trip today wasn't bad at all. A little slush here and there, but otherwise bare and wet.

Alas, the forecast for my return trip is not looking quote so pretty. But we'll see.

Yesterday the mountain passes were off-and-on closed due to weather or stalled due to accidents or requiring chains. Needless to say, I wasn't looking forward to the drive home this morning. I mean, chaining-up is no big deal. I've done that loads of time. And temporary closures are annoying, but part of the game (just make sure you've got a full tank of gas). The problem is, of course, morons driving like assholes and causing accidents. I've seen the consequences far too many times, mostly due to people in 4-wheel-drive rigs thinking they're invulnerable to ice and slush.

It's only my dumb luck that I haven't been sucked into their stupid all these years.

But when I woke up, all passes home were open. And my preferred mountain pass, which was chains-required all day yesterday, was in great shape. So the drive home was easy and, dare I say it, enjoyable...

In the end I felt fortunate that I was able to escape for a few days on my Christmas holiday.

Hopefully yours was equally good.

From 1998 through 2001, I was flying to Los Angeles fairly regularly. I had a project in "development" (AKA "development hell") and was consulting after the rights were optioned. This was a crazy period in my life, and I was trying to get the most out of my time there. I made important connections that I still have today. I did new work that was interesting and challenging. I tried standup. I got to know the city fairly well. I met great people. I had a lot of fun.

Which is why the massive fires burning down parts of city are more than a little upsetting. I look at the map and it's very worrisome. The Hollywood Hills are on fire, and the area around the Hollywood Bowl have been evacuated. The Palisades are on fire, and The Getty Villa is there. West Hollywood is endangered north of Sunset Blvd., and iconic places like The Comedy Store are there. Sunset Blvd. itself is closed. To say nothing of the many houses that have burned. It's a horrific situation, and high winds are making a bad situation worse.

Santa Monica, where I've stayed. Pasadena, where I've worked. Hollywood where I played. I could wake up in the morning and find any or all of them engulfed in flames. I have a lot of memories tied up in Northern L.A., and my anxiety is in overdrive just thinking about what's happening there and all the people who have lost their homes.

And the animals, of course.

This is Lahaina, Maui all over again for me.

I think that if I hadn't been through wildfires in my past I wouldn't react so horribly when they strike places I know.

But I have and they do.

Stay safe, everybody.

I've been a vegetarian since Earth Day 1988. Back when I first went out to eat meat-free, I had to do a lot of finagling to construct meals I could enjoy. And it was fine. Being vegetarian was my choice, and restaurants are in no way obligated to deal with that (though I usually prioritizing patronizing those restaurants that did).

Over the years restaurants have expanded their meatless options substantially. And I've been grateful. Now-a-days when I go to a restaurant, there's usually at least one dish that was designed to be vegetarian from the ground up. And it's usually delicious.

The problem has always always been that most times restaurants have a vegetarian option they are compelled to go way extra on it. You can't just get a veggie hamburger, it comes covered in mushrooms and piled high with roasted vegetables and shit I have no desire to eat on a burger. And I've never quite understood it. Just make the same burger you make for meat-eaters and substitute the veggie patty. Simple. Veggie patty, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles... cheese and sauce if you want it.

The exception has been fast-food chains.

Many times, they just get it.

At Burger King you can get an Impossible Whopper made just like a whopper, but with an Impossible meatless patty. It's amazing.

At Taco Bell you can get a Black Bean Chalupa made just like a Chalupa Supreme, but with black beans. They're great.

McDonalds had test-marketed a McVeggie burger in New York when I was there and it's long been my favorite vegetarian burger because it was just a delicious burger. That happened to be meat-free. I wish they had rolled it out nation-wide permanently.

Sometimes chains create something amazing only to drop it inexplicably.

One of the best sandwiches I've ever eaten was the "Veggie" at Earl of Sandwich. Perfect. Delicious. Perfectly delicious. Then they dropped it and gave us a Caprese sandwich as the vegetarian option. Still had all the ingredients to make a Veggie, but it wasn't on the menu. Infuriating. If I were to guess, they wanted a more expensive sandiwch so that vegetarians were paying the same amount that meat-eaters were paying. But if this was the case, just price all the sandwiches the same. I wouldn't care! I'd gladly pay the dollar extra to get what I wanted. Some locations brought the Veggie back, for which I am incredibly grateful because it's still the best sandwich going... but why not all? Disney Springs in Florida has the Veggie. Downtown Disney in California does not. What the fuck? Now, just like at Arby's, you have to pay for a meat sandwich, have them remove the meat, then pay extra to get the sandwich you want. Vegetarians have to pay more for less. But, hey... at least you can do that.

I haven't had to think much about eating out meat-free since the pandemic because I haven't done a lot of traveling. Locally I just stick to places I know and don't have to think about what to order. But this year I have a couple trips planned and know that decisions will have to be made. A part of me is excited at the idea of finding new and interesting dishes to try. The other part of me is hoping they've added a Burger King since I was last there.

Sometimes easy and tasty go hand in hand.

Long story short... I was offered a trip to Disneyland when a friend couldn't go, so another friend and I took them up on it. Like my trip to Walt Disney World in August, I'll be posting the good, the bad, and the ugly this week.

I haven't been to Disneyland since 2017. My work took me to Disney East far more often than Disney West. But I've still been to the parks many, many times.

Usually when going to The Happiest Place on Earth, I stay at the Grand Californian hotel. It was designed by the same architect that designed two of my favorite hotels, the Wilderness Lodge and Animal Kingdom Lodge at Disney World, Peter Dominick. This trip's lodging was at the new Pixar Place hotel, which I had stayed at when Disney called it "Paradise Pier." It's fresh and fun and probably a better fit now that Pixar franchises are taking over California Adventure...

The lobby is quite nice. They have a big Luxo Jr. lamp on the famous Pixar Ball statue welcoming you as you walk in. When we arrived, Dug (from the Pixar movie Up) was also there to greet guests, sign autographs, and pose for photos...

Above the lobby is a beautiful chandalier with stylized icons of characters from Pixar films...

When we checked in, we got a tip sheet for the hotel which advertised a limited edition Pixar Putt mini-golf course set up in their ballroom through June 1st. At $28 per person ($33 Friday-Sunday), it ain't cheap, but five days at the parks guarantees you'll be riding the same rides multiple times each so it was nice to have something else to do...

The course has holes inspired by Pixar movies. And I'm just going to get this out of the way... the course looks incredible... but it plays for shit. This is an incredibly difficult and frustrating game that posts pars which are hilariously unrealistic. Neither of us were new to mini golf and had a very hard time of it. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for little kids trying to play it.

Take for example Hole #3, which is based on WALL-E. It's adorable and has a par of 3 strokes. You can get it in one stroke if you can manage to hug the rail on the outside edge just right and have it loop into the upper cup with EVE's plant, where it will drop down and roll into the hole...

Except there's numerous problems here. First of all, in order to have the power to get up the ramp in the first place, you have to hit the ball pretty hard. Which almost always flies it off the course because the rail you have to hug is way too short. But even if you manage to do it, getting the ball to go down the upper cup is nigh-impossible. The loop isn't angled right in the EVE loop for a consistent play but, even worse, THE PLANT SHE'S HOLDING OBSTRUCTS THE HOLE! AND IT'S METAL, SO EVEN IF YOU DO EVERYTHING JUST RIGHT IT WILL JUST BOUNCE OFF THE CUP IN A WAY THAT DOESN'T EVEN PUT YOU IN PLAY TO GET THE HOLE IN A SECOND STROKE!

Nope. You have to go up the ramp... again and again and again. And, if you're lucky you'll eventually get the ball in the region of the hole. Except odds are it will get hung up behind WALL-E, adding another two strokes to the hole. OR THREE OR FOUR STROKES BECAUSE MOST OF THE HOLES DON'T HAVE FLAT SURFACES! They're warped so you can't hit to get a specific placement to line up the next shot.

It was so incredibly frustrating to play this course that we weren't even trying by about hole 5 (of 18). We were giving each hole a couple tries until giving up and cheating our way to the hole. WHICH, AGAIN, HAS A THICK METAL POLE WELDED IN EACH CUP, AND YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO BOUNCE OFF OF IT THAT EVER GET THE BALL IN THE CUP!

I think we managed to get par on a couple holes. Including The Incredibles which not only had a doable par, but looked really cool...

So, yeah... if you're looking for something to do at Disneyland, this probably isn't it. They needed to do a lot more play-testing and gear the game towards playing mini golf instead of gearing it towards just looking cool.

The Pixar Place hotel itself is pretty cool. Like all the Disney hotels around the world, I recommend it if you can afford the absurd cost. The location is perfect... across the street from California Adventure with a private entrance to the park (for Disneyland you have to go through Downtown Disney). It's also well-maintained, clean, comfortable, and beautifully-themed.

Continuing my posts about the five days I spent at Disneyland, today let's talk about the events that were happening at the parks while I was there.

Disney After Dark: Sweetheart's Night ($180)

This is a special event where you could pay $180 for the privilege of staying at the park until 1:00am and ride the attractions with lower wait times. That alone isn't worth the cost to me. It's yet another Disney cash-grab for people who are already paying crazy amounts of money for a Disneyland vacation. What does make it worth the money to me are the specialty foods they offer. They're only available to you if you have the magic wristband that says you've paid to be there.

The food at these things is always pretty darn good. Here are some of my favorites. Forgive the bad photos, but it was after dark, after all.

Hands-down the best thing I had that night was Deep-Fried Cheese Ravioli with Spicy Red Sauce at Café Daisy. I fell in love with "Toasted Ravioli" when visiting St. Louis (where it's the city's official dish, I think). Problem is that it was really tough to find fried cheese ravioli. Most of the times it was some kind of meat. Not only was this cheese ravioli, it was exceptional cheese ravioli. Loved it. Wish it was permanently on the menu...

The dessert at Café Daisy was also incredible... Tunnel of Love Donuts, which is sugar donuts with a strawberry cream. I could have camped at Café Daisy and ate ravioli and donuts for five hours...

The drink of the night was a Strawberry-Passion Fruit Lemonade at Galactic Grill. It's perfectly balanced and has very good flavor...

While the Tunnel of Love Donuts were good, the dessert of the night was Sour Cherry Churro Bites, also at Galactic Grill. The churro pieces were perfectly fried and the sour cherry was actually a kind of popping candy, which was fantastic...

In addition to the exclusive food items, you also get a special parade. My friend's favorite Disney animated film is Hercules, and he was really hoping to get a photo with Herc and Meg because we had read that they were at Sweetheart's Night last year. But, alas, the only place you got to see them was on the back of the last float in the Valentine Parade...

This is kinda crappy. All of those famous Disney couples should have been making appearances throughout the park all night long as another perk for that $180 ticket cost. That's what they do at Walt Disney World with their After Dark events.

California Adventure: Lunar New Year Celebration (Free!)

This event doesn't cost anything additional. If you have a ticket for the resort and have a reservation for California Adventure, you're in. There's not a lot to it. Food booths are selling Asian specialties. The character appearances are dressed or themed around what precious few Asian-themed movies Disney has. Here's Mickey and Minnie in Korean costumes...

And here's a photo opportunity with Mushu from Mulan...

I actually like it when the events are a part of the cost of admission to the parks. Lunar New Year is like an added bonus on top of everything else they already offer. This is a lot like the many festivals at Epcot at Disney World. Just another reason to plan a Disney vacation.

California Adventure: World of Color ONE Dessert Party ($80)

When I was a kid, there was a show called Dancing Waters which played at SeaWorld in San Diego. Since my family lived in the city when I was a kid, I have vague memories of watching the water jets spray water with colored lights shining on things while music was playing. California Adventure has their own version of Dancing Waters in a big production in their lagoon called World of Color. The original (non-"ONE") version I've seen many times because when my mom came with me to work she loved the show so we would always stay and watch it.

During the Lunar New Year celebration, they have a short pre-show the comes before the main event. It's the story of a little red lantern using its heart to find a way home. Or something. I didn't totally get it. After that was spraying water with colored lights and music... and an occasional projection of Disney animated scenes on a water mist curtain. It's a pretty good show...

Now, here's where things were different than the other shows I've attended.

Previously, you could purchase a World of Color Dining Package. You'd have a prix fixe lunch or dinner at one of the restaurants offered, then get to stand in the premium viewing area for the show. I always paid for it because my mom was short and I wanted her to have a front-row standing spot. But now... they have a "World of Color Dessert Party" where you can pay for actual table seating for the show, while getting a tray of various desserts, cheeses, and grapes (along with various beverages, including specialty cocktails). The weather was a bit misty, but not fully-raining like earlier in the day...

I would have loved to have had seating available when my mom was traveling with me. Sure it costs $80 each, but it would have been so much more comfortable for her. And for me. Though "comfortable" was relative this time around. Despite being in Southern California, it was very cold. So cold I bought a sweatshirt so I wouldn't freeze.

And that was the last of the special events available while I was at Disneyland Resort.

Continuing my posts about the five days I spent at Disneyland, today let's talk about some of the food I ate while I was there.

When you have work which takes you to the Disney Parks for years and years, you get to the point where you've ridden the attractions dozens and dozens of times. They kinda lose their appeal after a while. What doesn't lose its appeal is eating. It's my favorite thing to do at Walt Disney World and Disneyland, and I make a point of stacking up my reservations so I can eat at all the places I love while also trying the new places that have popped up (I already covered my favorite foods from Disneyland's Sweetheart's Night here). Here are the most notable places this visit.

Oga's Cantina

I skipped going to Star Wars Land (AKA Galaxy's Edge) when it opened because it was new and I hate crowds (and I was only going to the park to eat at that point because after my 20th trip to Disney World for work, I had ridden all the rides). I always thought I'd go later but then... COVID... and I never did. Back in August I went to the one in Orlando, but couldn't get into Oga's Cantina because I didn't have reservations and the line was always a mile long. So for this trip I made reservations (and went a second time one night because the line was short). Loved the place. It looks like it came right out of a Star Wars movie...

A few things... First of all, this is a bar. Not a restaurant. Very expensive drinks and snacks only. The second time we were there we shared a standing table where four sets of people came and went without ordering anything because it was either too expensive or didn't have meals. Second of all, if you want to sit at a shared table you have to make reservations. Otherwise you end up at a shared standing table. Third of all, there is a two-drink-maximum and you can't stay longer than 45 minutes. They don't want drunk people in Disneyland and they want to make sure as many people as possible can visit.

The food here is interesting and the custom cocktails are fantastic. My favorite drink was the "Jet Juice" that my friend had (Maker's Mark Bourbon, Ancho Reyes Chile Liqueur, Stirrings Pomegranate Liqueur, White Grape Juice, and Lemon Juice), but the "Fuzzy Tauntaun" I had (Ketel One Botanical Peach & Orange Vodka, Bols Peach Schnapps Liqueur, Orange Juice with Tangerine, Pure Cane Sugar, and 'Buzz Button Tingling' Foam) gets honorable mention because it has a foam that numbs your tongue while it causes it to tingle. Bizarre, but fun...

We had Garlic-Cheese Five Blossom Bread with Spicy Cheese Sauce and also the Reythan Crackers with Moss Mousse. Both were tasty, with the Reythan Crackers being particularly cool to look at...

The good news is that I managed to complete my Grinning Loth-Cat Tiki Mug collection. I now have one from Batuu-West (wood) and Batuu-East (stone). To get one, you have to purchase your choice of a non-alcoholic drink with the mug for $28...

The Lamplight Lounge

I had liked eating at Ariel's Grotto and Cove Bar in California Adventure, so I was excited to get reservations for its replacement The Lamplight Lounge. It ended up being my favorite sit-down meal of all those we had. Their "Double Impossible Cheese Burger" was mind-blowing good. I had to restrain myself from ordering a second one after I finished the first! My friend had a "Vietnamese BBQ Pork Chop" served with garlic noodles that he loved. I wish that Disneyland put such care into all their restaurants, because half of them are not memorable for their food like Lamplight is. As if that wasn't enough, their drink menu was on-point as well. Highly recommended if you're doing the Disneyland thing...

Blue Bayou

My friend had never eaten at the Blue Bayou restaurant... a famous Disneyland eatery that's inside The Pirates of The Caribbean ride, so we decided to go. I had always gone on a friend's reservation and had no idea how incredibly difficult it is to get a table reserved. I was on the website every day the minute the reservations went live and only managed to even see an availability after the fourth day of trying... and only one time (3:40) out of the three left would register, so naturally I wasn't picky and grabbed it.

The service is impeccable. They have a Hurricane as the specialty cocktail, so the drinks are on-point. But, as with my previous visits, the experience of dining here is better than the actual food (especially since we ended up with a table right near the water so we could watch the boats go by). The plant-based option was "Pistachio Lemon Basil Pasta" that was okay, but not great. My friend had the Filet Mignon and liked it... but it was his first time eating Filet Mignon so I don't know what kind of an endorsement that is! As you can probably guess, the cost to eat here is massively expensive...

Dessert, as usual, was fantastic. Their "Brown Butter Banana Upside-down Cake" is right out of New Orleans and, since I love Bananas Foster, I loved this...

Trader Sam's Enchanted Tiki Bar

This place (located on the Disneyland Hotel campus) is kinda a tough "get" because locals like to grab a drink here as well. To get a table inside you have to make a reservation because it's quite small. But it's also well worth the effort to come. The bartenders and staff are always entertaining, and ordering certain drinks get you certain "experiences" that you have to be there to really understand...

The menu is kinda what I'd describe as "elevated basic" and quite good. We were already full, so we just had a couple sides that I enjoyed before... Tempura Green Beans and Sweet Potato Fries...

I used to have a Trader Sam's mai-tai mug that was a nice transparent blue glass color. I lost it in the move. I wasn't planning on buying a replacement until I saw the beautiful opaque orange colorway that they currently had...

The only place I didn't get to that I wish I could have are the restaurants at Disney's Grand Californian Restaurant. But the menus have changed since I was last there and the vegetarian options weren't something I was dying to have given the cost. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Continuing my posts about the five days I spent at Disneyland, today let's talk about a new "land" to me... Avengers Campus at California Adventure.

Because it's kinda... bad. The only thing it has going for it are one ride and a bunch of character appearances by Marvel super-heroes. The rest is kinda meh. The other ride is meh. The shops are meh. The restaurants are meh. I have no idea what in the heck Disney was thinking, but they really should have put more thought into what they were doing.

Sure the Hollywood Tower of Terror conversion to Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout went better than it really should have (indeed, given that the ride was originally a stripped-down version of the superior Twilight Zone Tower of Terror at Disney World, I actually think it's better now), but everything else is underwhelming.

The other attraction of the land, WEB SLINGERS: A Spider-Man Adventure, is not that great at all despite a fun concept and a great pre-show that Tom Holland was kind enough to appear in...

But the ride itself is a bit tedious. It's also uncomfortable because you're costantly "shooting webs" to destroy spider-bots that have run amok. Plus it's inferior to the Universal Studios Orlando The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man ride from a quarter century ago. I guess they were excited about having a motion-tracking ride and didn't care that it wasn't the best experience?

But anyway...

They're soon expanding Avenger's Campus so they can cram in two new rides: Avengers: Infinity Defense and Stark Flight Lab. In order to do this, they will have to rip out The Red Trolley because the barn where it parks is in the way. This is probably for the best since it made zero sense to have a trolley car running along "Sunset Blvd." through Avengersland, but it's kinda sad too. I would have ridden it one last time, but the "attraction" had already been shuttered. Only the signs for it remain...

Since one of my favorite things to do is speculate on Disney parks construction, I've worked up a little map as to how the expansion might go. The green area is what comprises Avenger's Campus right now. The pink area (with the trolley barn in red) is a parking lot which is most definitely getting razed to make room for the new rides. The blue area has buildings, but is probably getting ripped out as well, because Infinity Defense is supposed to be on-par with Rise of the Resistance and will have to be in a very big building to get there. The yellow area is probably not going to get ripped out (for now) because it looks like there are some important buildings there...

If you take a look at the above possibilities when overlaid over a map of both parks at Disneyland Resort, you can see that this is a big chunk of land no matter how far they go with it...

Looking at this map, I cannot help but once again glance to that massively huge chunk of land occupied by Autopia and Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage between Fantasyland and Tomorrowland. Autopia is just plain stupid in the Year of Our Lord 2025. Adults can drive actual cars. Kids can drive battery-powered vehicles you can pick up at Costco for less than a park ticket costs. Get rid of it. And the Submarine Voyage, which has never been all that good, attempted to gain relevance by putting in screens with a Finding Nemo overlay that's just so tired. Get rid of it. Some truly great attractions could go in this massive space. Heck... an entirely new land could go in this massive space! Rip all of it out and build Arendelle from the wildly-popular Frozen movies! Or something. Or anything. I mean, just look at how absolutely huge this area is (marked in red)...

And, yes, I realize that the Disneyland Forward project is planned to add a bunch of space to the Disneyland Resort, but that still doesn't excuse this massive waste of space that could give us far better experiences than what we're getting from it now.

Continuing my posts about the five days I spent at Disneyland, today let's talk about the dark side of what's going on there. The things that contribute towards making it a bad experience for their guests.

I did not have a terrible time. It was an overall fun trip that was a nice distraction from the horrors of the day. But it could have been so much better.

It would be very, very easy to lay blame for the bad things on the former CEO of Disney, Bob Chapek. He was intent on wringing all the possible profit out of the Disney parks, even though the cost came at seriously screwing over their guests. Many of the things he did made the parks become everything Walt Disney was fighting against to differentiate his parks from all the others at the time.

Except you can't hang it all on Chapek because he's been gone for two years now and nothing has changed. Disney is still ruining the parks.

Park Hopping. Even though the Disneyland Resort is billed as a singular experience that contains both Disneyland and California Adventure, it really isn't. Unless you pay for it. To hop from park-to-park, you have to purchase a ticket add-on called "Park Hopper" which allows you to jump between the parks after 11am as often as you want. And you'll want to, because that's the only way you're making the best use of your time there since the parks are so small (and many rides are broken, but I'll get to that). On top of this, your first park of the day has to be reserved (hotel guest or not, Park Hopper or not) or else they won't let you in, so make the reservations the minute you get your tickets.

Struck by Lightning. The paid replacement for the once-free "FastPass" is (currently) "Lightning Lane," which gives you a time window to stand in a line that's much shorter than the regular line. The Disney World version is actually kinda cool and worth the money because you can pre-reserve your first three Lightning Lanes of the day before you even go there. Disneyland doesn't have anything like that. If you pay for the "Multi-Pass Lightning Lane" you get to make one reservation after you enter the park. Then once you use it you can make another. Or, if the park is really busy, you can make another reservation 2 hours after your first one. Of course you also have the option to spend something like $400 each to have a Lightning Lane for all the rides which have them. It's an expense that might be worth it if you're visiting on a busy day or have a single day to visit. But the regular version should be included with your ticket. And don't get me started about the insanely popular rides (like Radiator Springs Racers and Rise of the Resistance) which you have to pay big dollars to get Individual Lightning Lanes for because your regular Lightning Lane won't work. Price gouging at its finest (as an example... for both of us to get a spot for Rise of the Resistance would cost an additional $58 on top of the Lightning Lane Multi-Pass we already got).

Character Madness. A big, big part of a visit for many people going to Disney parks is meeting the various characters to get their picture taken with them or get their autograph or say "hi" or whatever. Fortunately, the Disneyland App lists character appearances so you can find the ones you want to see. Unfortunately, the app is wrong a shockingly huge number of times. An example: My friend is a massively huge fan of Ahsoka Tano (aren't we all though?). He wanted to get his picture taken with her. So we looked at the app for the place and time and did that. She wasn't there. We went to the next appearance. She wasn't there. We went to another. She wasn't there again so we decided to ask what was going on. After a bunch of cast members told us "Not my department" we finally found somebody who made a call. Turns out she wasn't appearing AT ALL that day. And yet she was listed on the app as appearing more times that afternoon. WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK?!? If a character actor is sick or whatever, then fine. It happens. By why don't they remove their appearances so we weren't dragging our asses from one end of the park to the other to try and meet Ahsoka? The next day we tried again. First appearance? Wasn't there again. This time we wasted no time asking a bunch of employees if she would be appearing there or not, at which point we were told by one "I think so because I saw the back of her head." So we waited and finally got to see her (whomever the cast member is behind that makeup was absolutely brilliant, by the way)...

This is bonkers. And it doesn't end there. The app was consistently wrong on many, many character appearances (especially over at Avenger's Campus). How difficult is it to stay on top of this so you aren't repeatedly disappointing your guests and wasting their time? Update your damn app because people are counting on it to plan their day. And give your employees more information (or a way to get it) so they're not constantly being all "Not my department," which is plain rude.

Don't Stand in Line. At Walt Disney World, characters appear at a specific venue at a specific time and you can (mostly) count on them being there. Disneyland has a lot "wandering characters" which aren't at a specific place, so you have to kind of wander yourself until you spot them then walk along with them as they dash to try and get your autograph or photo. This is categorically stupid, and I don't get why they do this when they already have a system that works. But even when they do have a place for characters to appear, they handle it badly. First of all, you can't stand in line to wait for a character appearance. Nope, a cast member will march right up and tell you to "disperse" which means you have to hang out in the area and not in line. Which is insane. THE ROPES FOR A LINE ARE RIGHT THERE!!! So instead you get there early to see somebody, can't stand in line, then a bunch of people just randomly walking by at the right time could hop in line in front of you and you may not get to see the character before they leave. How does that make sense? The one place that does it like Disney World was in California Adventure where Mushu appeared. You get in line. The cast member working the line warns people coming up late that the characters will be changing soon so who's there now may not be there when they get to the front of the line, and then you get to choose whether to stay or not. And that's the way it should be. The whole "Hang out in this area but don't get in line" is one of the stupidest fucking things I've ever seen at any theme park anywhere in the entire world. And I've been to my share.

Attractionless Attractions. While I was at the parks a lot of attractions were closed. The Disneyland Railroad, closed. The Monorail, closed. Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln, closed. Pixie Hollow, closed. It's a Small World, closed. Grizzly River Run, closed. And in March even more rides are closing, including Indiana Jones and Guardians of the Galaxy?!? Which begs the question... what the fuck will actually be open? Who knows? Because on top of the planned closures, other rides were "temporarily closed" all the damn time (the biggest culprits being Pirates of The Caribbean, Radiator Springs Racers, Guardians of the Galaxy and, of course, Rise of the Resistance). Disney is cheaping out on ride maintenance despite charging a shit-ton of money and raking in huge profits from their guests... which means they have to close a bunch of stuff down at the same time because it's not properly maintained, giving people less to do and making the remaining rides more crowded. It's ridiculous, unfair, and makes a Disney vacation a lot less appealing.

You Busted. I don't know another way to say it, but the parks are in a sad state. They are not maintained. They are dirty. They are broken. After a while I started taking photos of the massive number of things that were busted because I just couldn't believe it. Did Chapek fire absolutely everybody on maintenance? Because people shouldn't have to pay to see bullshit like this over and over and over and, in the grand scheme of things, hiring people to fix stuff is a drop in the bucket when it comes to the cost of doing business, so why not have a crew for that?

Rained Out. I fully realize that Southern California doesn't get a lot of rain. I do. But the fact that Disney isn't at all prepared for any rain is absurd. Disney World in Orlando can be in the middle of a hurricane and rides are still running and characters are still appearing. When there's even a little rain at Disneyland rides go down and characters never appear (and you will never know if they're coming later because of the useless Disneyland App, as noted above). And when you try to get any information at all, nobody can help you in any way no matter how many cast members are there. And, no, I'm not kidding. Here's me not standing in line out in the rain, as instructed, because a character didn't show up and I didn't want to get jumped by the eight employees hanging out doing nothing except telling people to not stand in line (I'm not showing their faces because its not their fault management doesn't know how to run a theme park and they're just doing what they've been told)...

For the love of God... do better. Have covered areas for characters. Spray some water-proofing on their costumes so the show can go on. Or have alternate costumes that are waterproof. Do something so guests that are going into debt to visit don't completely lose out because you aren't prepared for a rainy day.

Photo Passed. Like Disney World, Disneyland has a "Photo Pass" you can buy to get your photo taken with characters and important landmarks and such. But unlike Disney World, Disneyland has a woefully inadequate number of photographers. We got the add-on included free with our Park Hopper somehow, but got only a few photos (all of them were at the Avenger's Campus character spot, because the only other places I remember seeing a photographer is at the front of Disneyland in front of the Mickey flower art and again in front of the castle). Who would pay for something this worthless? Either do it right or don't do it at all.

Pin Trading... or Not. Disney World is a pin-trading utopia. Most all the shops have pin-trading boards and they're packed (and pins are swapped out regularly at the start of each day). Many employees have pins on them to trade. But at Disneyland? Oh heck no. They are pushing pins for sale absolutely everywhere, but pin-trading is almost non-existent. The very few shops that have boards have a tiny number of pins that are the exact same day after day after day. Here's a board in Tomorrowland with a whopping 12 pins on it, and it was mostly the same pins every day. And 12 is actually pretty good, because we saw a board that had a measly six on it every day. SIX!!! Why even bother?

But it gets worse. See how this shop has a sign that literally says "WANTED: PIN TRADERS"? Would you believe that the pin shop inside said "We don't have our board out today" when we asked where the pin trading was?

Well, believe it, because we checked multiple times on multiple days. Madness. How can people get into pin trading WHEN YOU DON'T PROVIDE A WAY FOR THEM TO TRADE PINS?!? Your best hope is to visit with fellow pin traders that sometimes hang out next to pin shops, but they're usually way too serious for people like me who just want to find an Orange Bird or Oswald pin to add to their collection.

   
What drives me crazy is that everything I'm complaining about here is fixable. Not just fixable, but easily fixable. Sure a (relatively) minor amount of money will have to be invested, but how can that be a barrier when these are serious problems that are going to have people never wanting to visit your parks again? Hire some maintenance people. Fill those pin boards. Waterproof those costumes. Let people stand in lines. This is not rocket science... and if the people in charge don't see that, Disney needs to hire people who can. Because I tell you what, I'm in no hurry to go back to Disneyland any time soon. And since I was gifted most of the cost of the hotel and tickets, that speaks volumes.

Finishing up my posts about the five days I spent at Disneyland, today I'm going to talk about the best thing about the place... the attractions (though the food is a close second).

For the longest time, my favorite ride at the park bounced between Star Tours and Pirates of the Caribbean. Except it really didn't. It's just that I'm such a massive Star Wars fan that it seemed that way. Not that Star Tours isn't a great ride that still holds up to this day, it absolutely does, it's just that the Disneyland version of Pirates is the absolute benchmark of how to build an attraction. First of all, it's fifteen-and-one-half minutes long! Which is crazy. So many of the attractions being built now-a-days are lucky to last two minutes (though Rise of the Resistance is kinda-sorta 18 minutes long, when it's running, so there's that). There's a lot of immersion and build-up to the (multiple) money-shots you get, yet Pirates never seems boring.

Pirates of The Caribbean is part of the original E-Ticket Attraction Pantheon that remains... along with Jungle Cruise, Disneyland Monorail, Matterhorn Bobsleds, it’s a small world, Enchanted Tiki Room, Submarine Voyage, Country Bear Jamboree, and Haunted Mansion (another ride that totally holds up, and it nearly nine minutes long).

But anyway...

Before eating at Blue Bayou, the restaurant inside of Pirates of the Caribbean, we rode it for a second time. It's really the only way to do the restaurant because then the experience is fresh in your head (though it almost didn't happen because the ride was closed all morning for repairs). And it reminded me how I am both okay/not-okay with the addition of the movie franchise that's based on the ride being added to the attraction. Okay, because it's very well-done, Johnny Depp's presence is adding to the attraction instead of overwhelming it, and it gave the ride some love to keep it relevant... and not-okay because the ride was perfect just how it was.

The biggest surprise out of all the attractions I went on was that I heard a spiel from the boat skipper on Jungle Cruise that I had never heard before...
        SKIPPER: Now I'm going to scare off these hippos the same way I scared off my last girlfriend...
        ME (as the skipper reaches for his gun): Oh my God!
        SKIPPER (not touching his gun): LET’S GET A MORTGAGE AND BUY A HOUSE... AND HAVE 3 KIDS... AND TWO CATS NAMED OSCAR AND ISAAC!

I still don't know if I should find that funny or not, but it was sure hysterical to me at the time!

Something else that was new? After years of trying to see a hidden Easter Egg in Indiana Jones Adventure without success, I finally asked a cast member to help me out. For those of you who don't know, this attraction is not within the original boundary of Disneyland. No, it was built out in the old "Eeyore" parking lot (which explains why the queue is so long to get there...

Original Disneyland in Yellow... Indiana Jones Adventure in pink at the lower-left.

After Disney demolished the Eeyore parking lot, they hid one of the signs for it in the Indiana Jones ride. I knew that you had to look back when you reached the front of the main queue before Dr. Jones's office, but that never did me any good. I was starting to believe it didn't exist. So I asked. And the cast member pulled out a flashlight, shined it way, way back into a dark corner and... there it was. I don't know how I could have ever seen it on my own.

Something else I've meant to do but never did? Snap a photo of John Rhys-Davies as Sallah during my favorite part of the intro film...

And speaking of Indiana Jones Adventure... I rode it very soon after it had opened in 1995, and it's a different ride now than when it debuted...

   
And now a dozen random musings...

Random Musing #1: The day after I got back from Disneyland, I had kidney stone pain. It wasn't horribly bad, but it did make it so I couldn't keep anything down Saturday evening through Monday afternoon when it passed. Just yesterday I read an article where it said that there's a scientific paper saying that riding Big Thunder Mountain Railroad dislodges kidney stones! So... maybe the attraction saved me from an even worse agony than if I hadn't ridden it while I was at the park? Weird!

Random Musing #2: Mickey & Minnie's Runaway Railway is the exact same as the one in Walt Disney World. Except you leave Daisy's dance studio in the opposite direction. This freaked me out... and freaked me out again the second time, even though I was prepared for it.

Random Musing #3: Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin has changed Jessica Rabbit. She's no longer in her sexy red sparkle dress, they covered her in a trench-coat. And it's like... yeah... I know why. Gotta be PC and all that. But it looks ridiculous. I think it's actually less PC to think that she should be forced to cover herself (come on, it's not like she was showing nipple or anything).

Random Musing #4: Does anybody else find it odd that Jessica Rabbit has to wear a trench-coat, but at the end of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride you get sent to hell? Anybody? Anybody?

Random Musing #5: I elected not to climb up Adventureland Treehouse because they tore out the Tarzan re-theming from 1999. They re-themed to promote the animated Tarzan film of the day, but it was actually really cool because modern audiences could get more invested in the attraction than the old Swiss Family Robinson movie theme it started with.

Random Musing #6: The other ride that I took a pass on this time (other than the multitude of rides that were closed) was Matterhorn Bobsleds. The last time I rode it the track was so rough that I was wrecked after I unfolded myself from the bobsled. That is one roller coaster that desperately needs to be re-tracked. I honestly don't understand why it hasn't happened yet. Heaven only knows they have zero problem shutting down rides at Disneyland.

Random Musing #7: One ride that I have ridden exactly once and never again is the Mad Tea Party. I have never understood how people manage to survive that ride. I didn't get sick the first time, but I did walk off of it wishing that I had never gotten on it.

Random Musing #8: It still amazes me how all the Fantasyland dark rides made such incredible use of the small amount of space they were given. All those twists and turns really extend the length of the attraction! My favorite of these is Peter Pan's Flight where they use the sail on Captain Hook's ship to divide one room into two scenes in a way that's beyond brilliant.

Random Musing #9: While I still think that Tiana's Bayou Adventure is a serious downgrade from Splash Mountain, I will say that the Disneyland version is better than its Walt Disney World counterpart. It's got less dead space making it feel not so empty. That being said, the ride still makes no sense. Plus the final Tiana animatronic was busted to shit... she was totally frozen except her mouth, looking like she was wearing a straightjacket under her dress.

Random Musing #10: Just for the record... I still think that Soarin' Around the World is not as good of an experience as the original Soarin' was. I hear they bring it back during the "Food & Wine Festival," so maybe I'll have to head back down one of these years.

Random Musing #11: One of the best rollercoasters in the Disneyland Resort (after Big Thunder and Space Mountain, of course) was California Screamin'. And while I didn't mind them re-theming it for more of a Disney-branded experience, I am mad that they did such a cheap-ass, ugly job of it. I had seen it in photos and thought "Well, maybe it's not so bad when you're riding it at top speed..." but it is. Whether it's the stupid "babies on sticks" or the horrific way that characters are cut off to fit spaces, everything about this is pathetic. Re-theming is fine when it makes sense, but at least put the money into it to do it right. You're Disney.

Random Musing #12: Since California Adventure is pretty much turning into a Pixar theme park, they've made some changes since I was last there. The biggest being the 2023 changing of "Pacific Wharf" to "San Fransokyo Square" out of the movie Big Hero 6. I have zero complaints, because I still don't understand why you would want to go to a California theme park when you're already in California. But anyway... I was quite happy that it wasn't done shoddily, like Incredicoaster was. It actually looks really good...

And there it is. My trip to Disneyland is over for you just like it is for me!

If you've read this blog for even a short amount of time, you know I love maps. Especially maps that present their information in a unique or clever way.

Simon shows you maps (which is an essential follow for map nerds) shared this incredible old map poster from Quantas Empire Airways, which puts their hub at Sydney in the center, then unfolds the world around it with mile-markers so you can know how far away they fly...

On top of being unique and clever... it's also gorgeous. Truly top-notch map-making and design.

If you want to see the poster in all its hi-res glory, you can go right here.

I love map books and books on foreign cultures.

McAtlas has both.

©2024 by Gary He and McAtlas

...which takes a fascinating look at some interesting McDonald's from around the world. In addition to gorgeous photos of some of the restaurants, there's also pages dedicated to unique food items that are available in other countries.

©2024 by Gary He and McAtlas

©2024 by Gary He and McAtlas

©2024 by Gary He and McAtlas

©2024 by Gary He and McAtlas

   
This will be a candidate for my favorite book purchase of 2025. I just got it yesterday and am already half-way through! I got it direct from the website, and they're currently offering free domestic shipping.

Tonight I'm packing for a trip over the mountains tomorrow.

Of course the cats know what's happening. The minute they hear the suitcase rolling out of the closet they know. And they're all over me wanting attention, which I'm guessing is a way to keep me from packing so I don't leave. Or maybe they just realize that the automated cat feeders can't dispense wet food, so they're upset that I won't be here to give them the good stuff?

Either way, I will miss the knuckleheads while I'm away.

The thing about traveling over the mountains this time of year is that the weather is unpredictable. There have been years that late March is worse for winter storms than the dead of winter.

When I left this morning, my preferred mountain pass was "Snowing with Traction Tires Required" which was good enough for me because my winter tires are still on and I always have chains. But before I even got to the road that goes up to the pass, I was re-routed over an entirely different pass. This one ended up being "Bare and Wet with No Restrictions" which was even better (despite adding 15 minutes to my travel time).

And so I backtracked to the highway so I could be on my merry way.

The drive was far from incident-free due to heavy rains and fog.

At the base of the pass there was a bad accident in the opposite direction which had traffic backed-up for miles and miles and miles.

Then a couple miles from the top, an asshole driver was eating my bumper (even though there was nowhere for me to go), so I pulled over and let him grind on the person ahead of me. That wasn't good enough, so he cut in front of me (with very poor visibility on wet roads, I remind you) and went surging past the car that was in his way.

I didn't see the accident because I couldn't see more than a car-length ahead of me.

But I heard it.

Which meant traffic had to halt while the asshole (and the car he cut in front of that couldn't stop like I did) made their way off the road.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

The asshole was in such a massive hurry that he was driving recklessly in terrible conditions... instead of just leaving ten minutes early. So was it really worth it?

At least nobody ended up dead.

This time.

You know how when the end of your vacation is pending and you try to enjoy those last precious moments of your time off... but can't help but think about all the stuff that's waiting for you back at the office? That's where I'm at now. And I can't drink myself into forgetting, because driving responsibly is more important than ever given how idiots on the road are looking at their phones all the time. OR READING A BOOK... WHICH, I SHIT YOU NOT... IS SOMETHING I SAW ON SUNDAY! I was a passenger, so I could see that a woman had a literal book on top of her steering wheel. And the reason I noticed WAS BECAUSE I SAW HER TURNING THE PAGE! Gotta be super-sober when assholes like that are on the road. Which is infuriating, because I'd argue somebody who's reading is more dangerous than somebody who's had a few drinks. I wonder if she knows about audiobooks?

Anyway...

Yesterday for my birthday we left the casino to eat at a bar. It was Monday, which is apparently "Crab Night" where you can blow through as much crab as you can eat for just $39.99... and, let me tell you, there were people eating serious amounts of crab.

Being vegetarian, that wasn't for me... but I did get a kick out of the sign for it...

I think poor SpongeBob's leg got accidentally erased while they were hanging the sign. But Patrick came through with all limbs attached...

Poor Mr. Krabs!

Though if you like eating that gross stuff, I'm sure he was delicious.

Suppose I should pack my suitcase.

WAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Today I had to drive over the mountains and back for work. When I was younger, these day trips were my normal. My friends and I would drive to Seattle and back to see a movie because the theaters are better there. But now? Yeah. I do not want to be doing this. I mean, it's no problem at all, five hours driving isn't very long. I think it's more psychological maybe?

But anyway...

I had three Coke Zeroes at Bahama Breeze with lunch, so I decided to make a stop once I was over the mountains at a mini mart to use the bathroom and get another Coke Zero and some cookies.

I am please to present a new feature here at Blogography...

I've been in my share of gas station bathrooms and am not scared easily. This one was pretty bad.

I didn't touch a damn thing. I peed, used the bottom of my foot on the handle to flush, then opened my trunk and used half a package of sanitizing wipes. Then wiped down my key fob and iPhone. Good Lord. I had to pee bad or else I would have backed right the fuck out of there. Thank God I can pee standing up!

Still... grateful to have had access to a bathroom.

If, in fact, that was where I was at.

I used to get to Honolulu fairly often for work. In many ways, it's just another big city. But it's a big city in Hawai‘i, which means it's more than that. And the island of O‘ahu is more than Honolulu. And over the years I've tried to reach as much of it as I can.

On Monday I flew into Honolulu again, but made a point to get as much vacation out of the trip as I could. Which wasn't much, but we do what we can.

I've been to the Disney Aulani Resort twice before. So far as too-big too-crowded too-commercial options go for a visit to "The Gathering Place" of Hawai‘i, it's quite nice. Assuming you can afford it. Like everything Disney, it's crazy-expensive and not for those without deep pockets. Which hardly describes myself, but if you get lucky and plan far enough in advance and stay only a few days, you can happen across deals which won't cost you a second mortgage.

Then Disney Magic™®© is just a flight away...

My first stay at Aulani was an early-access kind of thing with a room facing the heart of the resort, which would be nice except it was a lower floor and there was a big palm tree in the way. My second was a "partial ocean view" which was mostly a view of the Four Seasons Resort next door. This time I also had a "partial ocean view" which had the Four Seasons in it, but a considerably more "ocean" view than before...

Where I was at on the 14th Floor is high enough to have a great view of the resort every time you leave the elevator, which was nice...

This morning I did something I wanted to do on my previous visits but was too lazy to actually do... get up just as the sun rises at 5:30am and photograph the incredible architecture without annoying people around...

I wanted to get a photo of the moon setting on the beach at Aulani, and was surprised to see that it aligned perfectly between the reef break in the lagoon...

I walked out to the point of the lagoon that they carved out to look back at Aulani at sunrise, which was a nice walk and worth it...

Shooting into the sun was not easy, and there's only so much that an iPhone can do, but it's still pretty...

Disney does try to work in some history of Hawai‘i and its peoples in-between all the Disney IP, which was nice...

And... The End. I went back to get some sleep, which is the best part of vacation, really...

To be continued. Tomorrow I'll take a look at the Eats of Aulani.

Disney's Aulani Resort on Oahu has plenty of dining options, and there's always at least one "plant-based" option on the menus for vegans and vegetarians, so you won't starve if you share my dietary choices. Furthermore, service is impeccable everywhere you go. Even at the one bad food experience I had, the server was beyond great. Food, generally is pretty darn expensive, but worth the price. You're paying to stay inside the Disney Bubble here, but I think that they put in the effort to at least give you some value for the money.

Here are the restaurant options I saw while visiting for my all-too-brief stay.

‘AMA‘AMA — 5 course, $130 (not including drinks)
Insanely expensive, but some of the best food you'll eat with service and views to match (we had a beach-view table). I started with a Waipoli Greens Salad, substituted the Ginger Chickpea Spread for the mushroom appetizer I couldn't eat, had a Local Vegetable Fricassee for my entrée, then the Pineapple Tart for dessert. Everything was perfect except reservations. I booked through the app at the only date and time available... 8:00pm on Wednesday, then saw it in my future plans. Before I left for Hawai‘i, I got a "Robo-Caller" call that I didn't pick up. Once I listened to the voicemail from ‘AMA‘AMA wanting confirmation, I immediately called back and confirmed. At which point my reservation disappeared. I eventually confirmed at the desk that my reservation had been canceled with no explanation, but got them to re-activate it. Finally stopped by the concierge desk because the reservation never appeared after too many shenanigans, and they got me a new reservation at 6:00pm for the same day (out of pity, I'm guessing). This nonsense was unacceptable, even though it resulted in a better time. Phenomenal experience though. You may even get an adorable teeny-tiny gecko friend to join you...

Makahiki — 3 course, $80 (not including drinks)
The only disappointment during my stay. My starter of a Roasted Tomato Soup was excellent. My dessert of Warm Mickey Brownies was great. But my entrée of Vegan Sausage Pasta? Inedible. Not even joking. No idea if it was cooked wrong or what, but the vegan pasta was tough, bone-dry, and gummy like glue. The sausage was rubber. Horrific. Could not believe it was served to me. Furthermore, when it comes to the view you can't see much past the greenery, so it wasn't as nice as what you could get elsewhere. Maybe the Character Breakfasts are good, but I would only eat here if you're not vegetarian.

The ‘Ōlelo Room — Price Varies
Gorgeous, intimate bar off of neighboring Makahiki. The malasadas donuts at breakfast were the best on the island I've had outside of Leonard's. But it's the drinks that are out of this world. We put ourselves in the hands of master mixologist, Aukai, who started with a menu drink... then took us on a custom cocktail journey built around the alcohol we started with. Two nights of some of the best-crafted cocktails I've ever had. Highest possible recommendation, but prepared to keep coming back and spending way more money than you plan because it's that good.

Off the Hook — Price Varies
This is a poolside and ocean-view bar which serves elevated bar food. Lunches are great. Plant-Based Burger ($23) is much better than average. Drinks are tasty.

KA WA‘A, A Lū‘au — Buffet, $190 (general seating) or $219 (preferred seating)
The Polynesian Cultural Center has what's probably the best lū‘au on the island of Oahu, but it's produced by The Mormons, so no alcohol is served. The entire point for me is getting plowed on unlimited cocktails which, surprisingly, Disney has available at Aulani. What they also have is a beautiful show that feels respectful to the art of hula, albeit with a small amount of Mickey and Minnie injected, which is a little inappropriate(?). I've done this lū‘au before but, not surprisingly, I don't remember much about the food. This time I can confirm that the food was pretty darn good for a lū‘au! And there was enough vegetarian options to satisfy me too. The price is crazy-high, but the production values are top-notch and more kid-friendly.

Ulu Cafe — Price Varies
This is a "grab-and-go" cafe/market which also has pizzas that are surprisingly good quality. My 12-inch Cheese Pizza had tasty sauce and a great crust. Don't know that it's worth the $20 price tag, but it's one of the cheaper meals at the resort.

Little ‘Opihi's — Price Varies
This is a beach-side stand that serves Pineapple Dole Whip or Pineapple Dole Whip swirled with Vanilla Soft Serve ($8). What can I say, it's awesome.

Mama's Snack Shop and Pāpālua Shave Ice — Price Varies
Just cute little snack shops with fries ($8) or other fried snacks like fish or chicken ($20) or shave ice ($8) in the pool area. I wasn't here long enough to eat at either, unfortunately, but the shave ice is in the shape of Mickey Mouse, so how bad can it be?

One of my favorite things to do on vacation is eat. Disney's Aulani Resort makes it worth the trip if you don't look at the prices until you get back.

To be continued. Tomorrow I'll look at the entertainment at Aulani.

Aulani is a beautiful resort which strives to feel authentically Hawai‘ian in many ways. But because it is a Disney property, it is built with their movies and shows in mind to make it a destination that's uniquely theirs and worth a visit for their fans.

As you might guess, Lilo & Stitch is a big part of the intellectual property littered throughout the property. Stitch and Angel make regular appearances...

As does the title character from Moana, which is where you'll find the most stunningly authentic-looking film-to-screen representation of a cartoon character you'll ever see, because... holy crap...

Now here's where things get interesting.

Many people do not know about Mickey Mouse's teddy bear "Duffy." He was a gift from Minnie Mouse to keep Mickey from getting lonely when he's traveling the world. I know about Duffy because he's the signature character at Tokyo Disney Sea theme park (across from Tokyo Disneyland). I'm not kidding when I say that Duffy is at least as popular as Mickey Mouse there. Walking through the park it's all-Duffy all the time. He's everywhere.

My mom collected teddy bears and fell in love with Duffy after I brought her a small plush souvenir from one of my trips to Japan. He's never been very popular with Americans, but Duffy does appear at the USA parks anyway to appeal to visitors from Asia. My mom got to meet him a couple times when I took her along on work trips to Orlando and Los Angeles...

Because Hawai‘i is such a big tourist destination for Asia, Aulani has appearances by Duffy and ShellieMay (Minnie's teddy bear)...

But the signature Duffy character at Aulani is Olu Mel, the turtle. He was created specifically for Aulani, but can be found at the Disney parks in Asia too...

The line to visit him is long... packed with Duffy super-fans who may very well have come to Aulani just to see where Olu Mel came from...

A huge part of the entertainment for me came from the many art installations around the resort. There's a lot of it, and you could probably spend an entire day walking through every floor and the grounds trying to see it all...

Hey... Look at That! It's Maui's Magical Hook!

Other than the beach itself, the resort has plenty of water-based entertainment... pools, kiddie splash areas (including the terrific Menehune Bridge), and a lazy river, of course. Though too many people are hanging on a tube and practically running around the route. Which is kind of frustrating for people who just want to be lazy and float in the sun because you're constantly having to move out of their way...

There's also a couple water slides that go through lava tubes in the volcano that's in the middle of the resort. One for people and another for people on tubes...

Disney sells "MagicBands" at their parks and cruise ships that you can wear to open your room/cabin door, pay for purchases, and interact with stuff. You can also buy/use MagicBands at Aulani for the same purpose. Alas, there's not many interactive elements to be found and they are really difficult to activate. The biggest is the main lobby where a bird lights up on the floor and magical raindrops appear to hit the ground. Outside there's a hole in a rock where an owl lives... and a magical rock where a turtle appears when you wave a MagicBand over it...

It would be nice if Disney were to make these interactions work more easily and consistently, and had a lot more of them. Otherwise it's pretty tough to recommend buying a MagicBand except for the convenience of opening your hotel room door and paying for stuff.

Disney provides a bunch of free activities throughout the day. There's walking tours for art, wildlife, culture, and the resort design... fire pit storytelling... ‘ukulele lessons... etc. In addition, there's plenty of traditional free activities to be found. Ping pong, cornhole, crafts, boogie boards, and the like.

But there's also some "premium experiences" that are paid activities. Like yoga lessons on the beach. You can feed fish, snorkel, or even scuba dive at Rainbow Reef. You can take a painting classes. You can design your own Mickey ears. You can learn to mix cocktails. You can rent a cabana. You can go for a boat ride. And of course you can visit the pricey spa.

Overall there's plenty to do at the resort if relaxing on the beach is too boring for you (which was pretty much all I did, other than eat, during my first two stays). And, naturally, the rest of the island is there for you to explore... something I'd highly recommend. Just be warned that if you rent a car, parking is something like $40 a day at Aulani. If you're only running into Honolulu once or twice, it might be better to take a shuttle from the airport and use Über (the nearest bus stop is at least a mile from Aulani).

Ultimately, the high cost makes Aulani out of reach for most people. And I honestly don't know that I'd recommend it given the many, many other options on Oahu that are far cheaper. But if you're a Disney super-fan with money to burn, it's an experience that's tough to beat.

I may be back from a few days vacation and mentally preparing myself to return to work, but the bullets cannot be stopped... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Andor! The first thing I did after getting home from vacation was take a nap. I had been up for 23 hours and needed sleep. The second thing I did? Watch the final three episodes of Andor...

And, yes, this is officially the best thing to ever come out of Star Wars in my humble opinion. So as not to spoil anything, I'll wait a while before breaking down my thoughts (and I do have them). Suffice to say that you should watch this. Whether you're a Star Wars fan or not.

   
• Murdery Goodness! The second thing I watched? Murderbot on AppleTV+. I was surprised that they are deviating from the excellent source material like they are... but I don't hate it. The show is just a separate thing. Not always in a bad way. Especially with the opening credits, which looks like it was made with dolls...

I can see where some diehard fans of the books will not like it, but I still think it's worth a watch.

   
• Super! The final Superman trailer has dropped...

This looks so good. I may actually end up in the theater for this one.

   
• Blast From the Past! Something that got brought to my attention... somebody has an old Blogography Bad Monkey hat for sale on eBay...

Wasn't expecting that! And $25... I think I sold them for half that?

   
• Duke's! If you think that I went all the way to Honolulu, Hawai‘i and didn't have lunch at Duke's, just like the good ol' days, you don't know me at all...

That Falafel Sandwich was ever so dreamy!

   
• Puka Dog! If you think that I went all the way to Honolulu, Hawai‘i and didn't grab a Puka Dog, just like the good ol' days, you don't know me at all...

I mean, yeah, it's called "Hula Dog" outside of Kauai now, but it's still a delicious veggie Puka Dog.

   
• Maters! When I got home, I noticed that tomatoes were starting to grow on my AeroGarden. At last...

I'm still not convinced that AeroGarden is feasible for anything but herbs, but here we are.

   
And now? Back to my post-vacation blues.