Spending money is something that I try to avoid whenever possible. I'd much rather save it for a rainy day when something goes wrong and I really need it. Which is to say I don't have to have a bunch of luxuries because I'm a lot happier knowing that I have some savings in the bank. Which, when you think about it, is the ultimate luxury anyway. Rare though it may be.

After you get past the true luxuries needed to survive in the modern world (at least to me)... your health, clothing, a place to live, food to eat, a job, health insurance, a car, a phone, a computer, internet, a television, music, and books... most everything else is gravy. Here are my top ten unnecessary luxuries once the basic necessities have been covered...

1. Central Air — When you live in the middle of hell during the Summer, this is the very definition of luxury. Going from window or wall air conditioning to an HVAC system seems very much like magic. Cool air in every room of the house... all at the same time?
2. Washer & Dryer — Not having to go to the laundromat to wash your clothes? Being able to wash whenever you need to? Does luxury get much better than that? Like a garage, you never realize how nice it is until you have it. Could I go back to doing my laundry away from home? Sure. Would I want to? Not really.
3. A Garage — The winters can be brutal here. The Summers are brutal here. Yet I never had a garage until I moved to the home I'm in now. I never even had covered parking. Which means I've scraped a lot of snow and ice off my automobile. And I've climbed into a blistering hot car more times than I can count. But that's not even the most luxurious part of having a garage... it's the storage! And if you're a woodworking fan who has a lot of power tools, that's about as good as it gets. As is being able to park outside and use the garage as a wood shop.
4. Lawn Sprinkler System — I don't need a yard. I'd honestly rather not have one. But if I do have one, watering it is something I dread. Having to set a timer to move a sprinkler around your yard, then having to get up and actually do it isn't a horrific task. It's just a really inconvenient one. But the best part of having a sprinkler system isn't even that... it's luxury of being able to water at 2am when the sun won't evaporate it off your lawn and waste expensive water! And even better than that? Not having to find somebody to water your yard while you're away. That's brutal.
5. Garage Freezer — I've never had any freezer except the one that was in my refrigerator. And it's never enough space. Whenever there's a big sale going on for frozen goods, I find myself playing freezer Jenga to try and make as much room as possible for cheap food. Except that's never all that much space because there's barely any to begin with. As food prices were reaching all-time highs early this year, I saw a sale on a garage freezer and slapped down my credit card. And, let me tell you, it's a luxury of luxuries for me. I've cashed in on so many sales that have saved me a ton of money on things I am eating anyway. It makes me wish I had spent a bit more money and bought a bigger one. I didn't because I thought I'd never fill it up waste electricity freezing nothing. I was so wrong. But still... I now have triple the freezing capacity, and that's not nothing.
6. Power Tools — Being able to fix stuff that breaks so you don't have to hire somebody... or being able to make something more cheaply than having to buy it... is a critical necessity to me. Never mind that I've likely spent as much money on tools as I've ultimately saved, but having a hobby you enjoy is the real luxury here.
7. Automated Litter Box — It's not that I care about having to clean a litter box, it's that I am not available to clean it constantly and Jenny doesn't like to use a litter box that's too dirty. That's a serious problem when I have to travel or go to work. Not having to clean cat poop up off the floor or using an odor removal spray when cleaning up urine is pretty great. The problem is that most automated litter boxes make a worse mess or are unsafe. Getting an actual Litter-Robot to keep things clean and safe for my cats is a luxury on many levels.
8. Air Fryer Multi-Oven — When appliances drop in price to be so cheap as to be ubiquitous, the least expensive models usually having the least amount of features. Air fryers can be found really cheap, but all they can do is air-fry foods. Which means that you end up with four different appliances doing slightly different cooking things. But when my fryer died, I ended up spending a bit more money to try and consolidate appliances and free up some room in my kitchen. My air fryer (which is bigger than my old one) also doubles as an oven, a grill, a rotisserie basket cooker, and has a dozen other modes for all kinds of cooking. It's quickly become my go-to way to cook. The only thing I don't use it for is baking bread. It's so remarkably handy and energy efficient as to be considered a luxury to me.
9. Backup Cam — Where I live, a car is more a necessity than a luxury. The real luxury for me was paying off my car and not having to make that payment every month. Until last December when the used car I've had forever finally died and the cost to repair it was more than it was worth. Not caring about having an expensive car, I walked into the showroom and asked what was the cheapest new-ish car they had on the lot. I was expecting a car that was 2 or 3 years old used. Instead I ended up with a new car because it was only slightly more expensive than an older car with a lot more miles and far less warranty. I was pretty raw about the fact that I was paying for a bunch of features I didn't want and didn't need. Including a backup camera. Except... once you have a backup cam, it's very hard to go back. It's a luxury that you get accustomed to very quickly.
10. Floor Scrubber — I spent countless hours with a scrub brush trying to get my kitchen grout clean. And almost as much time trying to get my hardwood floors looking clean. Never worked. Getting an Oreck Commercial Orbiter Scrubber changed everything. Scrubbing floors has never been so effortless and effective, and that's a luxury that I'm increasingly grateful to have.

HONERABLE MENTION: Ninja Creami — I don't eat a ton of ice cream, which means whenever I buy some means it goes bad before I can eat even a quarter of it. And the smaller containers are way too expensive. Being able to "creamify" ice cream or other frozen treats from just about anything on a small scale at any time at all is a dessert luxury! The good news is that you can often find them at a good discount. The bad news is that they release new models with added features (the latest of which can dispense soft serve!).

Not on the list as it currently stands is travel which, for most of my years, was a priority to me. Couldn't really afford to do a lot of it, and so I did volunteer work that had travel attached so I could add a few days for myself once I was sent somewhere. It's a lot cheaper to pay for a couple nights of hotel and food after the flight was covered by work! But now that I've been lucky enough to have seen a lot of the world? Not such a priority. Very happy to stay home with the cats.

Oh yeah...

I was going to say that having a voice-controlled "smart assistant" is a luxury, but here's a conversation I had with Apple's fucking useless Siri "assistant" tonight...

At which point I had to go back upstairs and get my laptop so I could open the Find My app, locate my iPhone, tell it to play a sound, then run to back downstairs to find it before my cats freak out.

Such a luxury.

If I were to ever get COVID I have a better chance than usual of getting totally fucked, thanks to respiratory problems I have. Because of this, it's recommended that I get a COVID vaccine booster every six months instead of once a year. And so I do that. I can't say whether or not I've ever had COVID... if I did, it must have been mild enough for me not to notice (and perhaps the vaccinations had something to do with that)... so, yeah, I'll just keep on doing what I've been doing because I'm still alive to do it.

Today I received my 10th vaccination for COVID which contains all the latest strain information to teach my body how to better fight it off should I ever get exposed to it. I didn't know how many jabs it was off the top of my head, I had to count it...

1. March 2021 #1
2. April 2021 #2
3. October 2021 #3
4. April 2022 #4
5. October 2022 #5
6. April 2023 #6
7. October 2023 #7
8. April 2024 #8
9. October 2024 #9
10. April 2025 #10

And, just like every other time I get boosted and people find out about it, I'll be told that this time I'm definitely going to die. The reason for my demise seems to change every time. First it was myocarditis and pericarditis. Then it was blood clots. Then it was my DNA breaking down. Then it was cancer. Last time it was stroke. This time I'm sure it will be death by something entirely more interesting. Because they heard it from a guy who heard it from a guy who heard it from a guy they know that is a doctor or a mortician or whatever.

To which I can only say... okay. If I die in my sleep tonight, then so be it. Nothing is without risk but, for me at least, the risk is very much worth it. Yes, shit happens. Even with a vaccine that's overwhelmingly been proven safe and to help minimize how badly COVID can affect you. Smoking is far, far more dangerous, yet smokers don't seem to have to put up with as much bullshit as somebody trusting the God-given scientific miracle of RNA vaccines.

Now, my attitude towards the vaccines is my own. If somebody wants to believe misinformation, or even what their gut is telling them, then fine. I'll do what's best for me. You do what's best for you.

Except...

What if I can't do what's best for me?

As massive cuts to American health research and services continue, very soon there won't be the research to determine which strains should be targeted (let alone develop a formulation for it). So maybe I won't get to decide. Instead RFK and his brain worm get to decide for me.

Which is beyond batshit crazy because RFK Jr. doesn't know what the fuck he is doing. Some things, like restricting food additives which are so questionable that European agencies have already restricted them, I have no problem with. Yeah. That's probably a good move. But that's such a small part of what he's into as to be laughable.

Whether you like John Oliver or not, he's got an interesting rundown on it all...

The more I hear about the current administration's plans for American health, the more convinced I am that people are going to die because of it.

Maybe a lot of people.

In the 9 years I've been at my place, I've had two wasp nests.

The first one was on Year Two under the eaves of the upstairs roof outside my bedroom. The wasps weren't bothering anybody so I just left it alone. The only reason I even knew they were there was because the cats were going bananas watching them out the window. Harmless entertainment.

The second one was Year Five under the front porch. I always enter my home through the garage pass-door, so I didn't know it was there until somebody selling something mentioned it when I had to answer the door. I was so very tempted to say "Yes. I asked them to come so they can keep uninvited solicitors away from me" but held my tongue. This was clearly a problem for visitors who were invited, so I reluctantly went and bought a can of RAID wasp nest killer because there's not much else you can do. If it were bees, I could probably find some help in relocating them. But wasps? Nobody in their right mind is going to move a wasp's nest. I put on a ridiculous amount of clothing to cover every square inch of skin and some swim goggles... cracked the screen door... then unloaded the can into the next. It was like something out of a horror movie. And, despite wasps being total bastards, I felt guilty for weeks.

Today I've been getting alerts all day that there's "somebody at my front door." But when I look...

So I guess they're back and making another nest.

Fortunately I know about it early enough that I can (hopefully) encourage them to move to another location without massive loss of life.

After the second nest I was told that peppermint oil will discourage wasps from building on your house. But the idea of my property smelling like a Christmas mint was not something I thought I could live with. Which is okay, because I'm the one paying the mortgage.

My favorite color is blue... periwinkle blue, which has a touch of purple in it.

But my mom's favorite color was red, so my kitchen appliances, tools, and cookware are all red.

My beautiful new red Le Creuset Dutch oven, which I have been dreaming of owning for decades but could never afford, is finally here. Even though I couldn't really afford it now, the price is always going up (and won't be going down any time soon if tariffs have anything to say about it), so when I saw it at a good price I just went ahead and bought it...

The first thing I'll be making in it this weekend is some SourJo bread. My (red!) potato baker doesn't get as hot as a cast-iron Dutch oven, so I haven't yet made a loaf of sourdough in real cast iron yet. But I've always wanted to, because I'm told it really improves everything.

Wish me luck.

As I previously mentioned, I bought a couple Aerogardens because I wanted to grow my own herbs. The cost to have fresh herbs has escalated to unaffordability, so when Aerogarden when out of business, I bought two 6-pod units. Mostly for cilantro, rosemary, and thyme, but for fun I went ahead and planted some lettuce, tomatoes, and parsley.

Can you guess which seeds sprouted and which havent?

Here's hint one... LETTUCE...

Here's hint two... TOMATOES AND PARSLEY...

Sigh.

No cilantro. No rosemary. No thyme.

Oh... and I planted some spinach too. That also hasn't sprouted.

Guess I'll try again with the cilantro, but this time I'll soak the seeds for a few days to see if I can get them to sprout before planting.

In other news... I'll bet that butter lettuce ends up tasting delicious!

I have purchased so many scrub brushes, grout brushes, and an untold number of cleaners trying to get my kitchen tile and grout clean. All have been a waste of money. My kitchen floor looks filthy despite the fact that I'm always cleaning it.

I've been saving for a heavy-duty, Commercial Oreck Orbital Scrubber as a last resort. I was up to almost $100 when I decided to just put the balance on my credit card because it's hard to know if it will blow up in price due to tariffs or whatever. It could jump from $320 to $600 so better to just get it over with...

AND... boom goes the dynamite. Immediately noticed a difference. A few more scrubbings and my kitchen tile will look like new. But here's the real shocker... I bought a softer scrubber for my hardwood floors and it's amazing how good everything looks.

One of the best purchases I've made!

Cannot believe that I'm writing a blog post about a cleaning appliance. But that's my life now, apparently.

Twice each year my allergies return to plague me.

Once in the Fall, when everything is dying and vegetation starts to rot. Then again in the Spring, when I'm the one that's dying because the grasses and flowers return to life. It could be worse. When I was a kid that suffered year 'round and had to get three shots a week.

Spring, while being my favorite season, is also the time of year I'm my most miserable. I dope up of allergy drugs to try and push through while my body adjusts, but as I get older and older it's harder and harder for me to adapt. I used to have a runny nose, itchy eyes, and a sore throat for three days or so. Then it was a week. Then two weeks. Now it's at least three weeks. And my symptoms get worse every year as well.

On Saturday I woke up and could barely see. It felt like my eyes were swollen shot. And maybe they were. That made it real fun to crawl downstairs to feed my cats. Sunday was even worse, but I was prepared. I brought a can of cat food with me the night before so I could dish out breakfast without breaking my next.

I gave up on blogging over the weekend, and decided to try again on Monday. Then Tuesday. I was going to pass again tonight, but decided to just take a Benadryl early and see what happens. I don't know that it did a ton of good but I was able to see to type, which was good enough for me.

If you aren't old enough to remember what it was like to exist before smart phones, then you have no idea how utterly bizarre the world was back then. Comparatively speaking.

I, of course, am not only familiar with the world before smart phones, I'm familiar with a world before personal computers! Yes. I am that old. And the weird thing is that I do not think about The Before Times. Like at all. I never call up Google Maps or answer a text on my iPhone and think "Gee... remember what it was life before Steve Jobs blessed humanity with this thing? As far as I'm concerned, smart phones feel like they've always existed.

No, what got me to thinking about The Before Times was this video by Eddy Burback where he gave up his mobile phone. And even then, I didn't really think about it UNTIL he got to the part where he was watching old episodes of Sex and The City at the 15-minute mark. THEN I was like "Holy crap..."

I am not to the point where I want to give up my iPhone.

Not even a little bit.

That being said, I am very, very glad that I got to experience life without smart phones. It was a very different time. And not really in a bad way.

I am a bit more mixed when it comes to personal computers. On one hand, being there at the beginning of it all was a super-exciting time to be alive. But on the other hand, it would have been nice if personal computing was a bit further along when I was younger. Particularly in high school.

Though given the horrific state of cyber-bullying, maybe I should be glad it was still in its infancy.

I likely wouldn't have survived it.

You know how when the end of your vacation is pending and you try to enjoy those last precious moments of your time off... but can't help but think about all the stuff that's waiting for you back at the office? That's where I'm at now. And I can't drink myself into forgetting, because driving responsibly is more important than ever given how idiots on the road are looking at their phones all the time. OR READING A BOOK... WHICH, I SHIT YOU NOT... IS SOMETHING I SAW ON SUNDAY! I was a passenger, so I could see that a woman had a literal book on top of her steering wheel. And the reason I noticed WAS BECAUSE I SAW HER TURNING THE PAGE! Gotta be super-sober when assholes like that are on the road. Which is infuriating, because I'd argue somebody who's reading is more dangerous than somebody who's had a few drinks. I wonder if she knows about audiobooks?

Anyway...

Yesterday for my birthday we left the casino to eat at a bar. It was Monday, which is apparently "Crab Night" where you can blow through as much crab as you can eat for just $39.99... and, let me tell you, there were people eating serious amounts of crab.

Being vegetarian, that wasn't for me... but I did get a kick out of the sign for it...

I think poor SpongeBob's leg got accidentally erased while they were hanging the sign. But Patrick came through with all limbs attached...

Poor Mr. Krabs!

Though if you like eating that gross stuff, I'm sure he was delicious.

Suppose I should pack my suitcase.

WAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Today's my birthday!

Except I'm writing it two days later because I am (was) drunk in a casino for my birthday.

I'd say I'm one year closer to retirement, but it's looking doubtful that I'll ever be able to retire given the current plans for Social Security and the dire state of my 401K. So I guess I'll just be happy I'm one year closer to death? That sounds about right.

Happy belated birthday to me.