Blogography Logo


Tattoo No. 8

Posted on November 8th, 2017

Dave!It's going on a year since my last tattoo. Granted, it was a good one... the biggest I've had done yet... but I'm getting antsy for some new ink.

Problem is I don't know what I want. And I'm not sure where I want it.

This is where I'm at now...


My right arm... my Buddhist arm... still has a couple more pieces to go on my forearm, but I'm feeling a little off-balance so I'll probably wait. My left arm... my pop culture arm... has only two pieces. I know I want icons on my inner-upper arm (Batman symbol, Red Sox symbol, Apple symbol, Buckaroo Banzai logo, etc.) and something pirate-themed on my lower outer-upper arm (Bad Monkey fighting a giant octopus keeps popping in my head). If I keep with my arms, it will probably be one of those two things.

I don't think I want anything on my chest or back. At least not right now.

My lower legs are always an option, though I'm not sure what I'd want to do there. I've thought maybe there could be something comic book related or Invader Zim related or, most likely travel related... but it's tough to think of how I might present it in a way that will work with what I've started with.

Oh well. I've got time. I don't like traveling in the winter, so it will probably be Spring before I get back to my artist in San Francisco.

At which time I'll probably just get "LEGEND" tattooed on my forehead.

Tags: ,
Categories: DaveLife 2017Click To It: Permalink  1 Comment: Click To Add Yours!  


The Art of Home Maintenance. Or Not.

Posted on November 7th, 2017

Dave!Checking in on the cats via the security camera system is always a mixed bag.

Most times, they're sleeping or looking out the window. No big deal.

But other times? Not so much...

Okay... let's unpack all that's wrong with what's going on here.

First of all, Joy the RoboMop has violated her "boundary" and has left the kitchen to mop my hardwood... something that's fine, I guess, but not what I wanted her to do.

Second of all... do you see those neatly-stacked, carefully-sorted piles of dirty laundry? Oh... neither do I... my cats tore into it and made one giant mess out of it all. Glad some cats and robots are having fun breaking all the rules today.

Lastly... Where are my frickin' cats? I have checked every camera and haven't seen them! My guess is that there was a loud noise and they're hiding under the couch or under the bed or something. Either that or they've totally escaped, and now I have a new adventure awaiting me after work.

Can you imagine how boring my life would be without cats and robots?


Funded By A Grant from Darlington Electronic Instruments

Posted on November 1st, 2017

Dave!It's not every day you get to see your colon on TV!

But for me, that day was today because I had a colonoscopy. And, though you're gloriously sedated on The Good Drugs, you can still watch the ass-cam as it plays on a television.

Real Genius: The Colon
Tonight we're going to look at something most of us take for granted... the colon. What does it look like?

And you get take-home souvenir pictures too!

Dave's Colon
So that's what it looks like! I gotta say, I have a damn sexy colon!

Colon cancer is one of the few cancers you can prevent if you catch polyps before they go bad. Turns out that I had one small polyp that was easily burned off. No telling if it would have ever became cancerous, but better safe than sorry, I suppose.

Despite the invasiveness of having a camera shoved up your butt, the procedure itself is not a big deal. As I said, you're mildly sedated, so you may even sleep through it.

No... where the problem lays is the preparation for the procedure.

For obvious reasons, you have to clean out your colon so that there's no... errr... "stuff" in the way of the camera. You start off with a no-fiber diet four days before your colonoscopy, then... ZOMFG... the day before your appointment... you have to drink 4 liters of this heinous stuff called "CoLyte" that CLEANS. YOU. OUT. Seriously cleans you out. As in "Stay-By-The-Toilet-Forever-Cleans-You-Out." As in "Turns-Your-Sphincter-To-Hamburger-Cleans-You-Out." It's so awful. But necessary. Because the benefits far outweigh the horrors of the prep.

So... once you turn 50, you should really get a colonoscopy.

Then look forward to your next one every five years...

Real Genius: The Colon
The gravy stain? — No, that came out.

The colonoscopy prep though? Not so much. Ain't nobody looking forward to that. In the meanwhile, time to watch Real Genius again for the hundredth time.

Categories: DaveLife 2017Click To It: Permalink  4 Comments: Click To Add Yours!  


Skeleton Cats and Halloween

Posted on October 31st, 2017

Dave!It's Halloween again!

This past week when I was at Home Depot, all their decorations and spooky stuff was on sale for 50% off, which wasn't tempting to me (what a waste of money!)... until I saw two cat skeletons for $9 each. Now that I'm interested in.

Jake and Jenny? Well... not so much. They sniffed around for ten seconds, then went on with their busy lives...

Cats and Skeleton Cats

Cats and Skeleton Cats

Cats and Skeleton Cats

Hopefully my trick-or-treaters will be more intrigued with Dead Jake and Dead Jenny than the live versions were...

Skeleton Cats

And don't forget my awesome wreath addition...

Halloween Wreath Upgrade

Now that decorating is done, all that's left to do is pass out the candy...

Halloween Candy

Guess we'll see how many trick-or-treaters I get this year. Last year it didn't top 60.


The Joy of a Mopping Robot

Posted on October 28th, 2017

Dave!As I've mentioned several times, one of my favorite technology purchases of all time has been Carl, my RoboVac. I've had him for almost three months now and I still feel the same. I had anticipated that I would need to "vacuum for reals" once or twice a month to get at the dirt and cat hair that Carl wasn't capable of sucking up... but I was wrong. I haven't had to vacuum once since Carl took over. He does an amazing job, and I continue to be amazed when I open his waste bin each day and see how much crap he manages to find on my floors. Where is it all coming from?!?

Carl is the gift that keeps on giving.

And so...

I decided to take the plunge and get a mopping robot too because... well... the idea of not having to mop the bathrooms and kitchen any more was just too appealing. And the iRobot "Braava Jet" was on sale at Amazon for $169, which was almost completely covered by the $150 gift certificate I had burning a hole in my wallet...

The iRobot Braava Jet!

Carl the RoboVac was named after the faithful janitor in The Breakfast Club...

Carl the Janitor!

So I decided to name my RoboMop after Joy, the woman who invented the Miracle Mop (and was played by Jennifer Lawrence in the movie Joy)...

Joy the Mopper!

Now let's cut to the chase... was Joy a worthy purchase? Does she do as good a job as Carl when it comes to cleaning?

Well, it's complicated.

To begin with, Joy is not really a "mopping robot." She's more of a "Swiffer robot." That's because she doesn't slop water around with a mop, rinse the mop off, then repeat that until she's done. Instead she spits plain water on the floor then scrubs it with a disposable pad that has some kind of cleaning agent baked in. The pad is on a vibrating head that rubs your floor and "traps" the filth so you can toss it out when the Braava Jet is done.

Much to my surprise, Joy does a pretty darn good job... at least as good a job as my Swiffer.

Her first run was in the upstairs bathroom, which is my primary bathroom. Before she started, I vacuumed everything with a ShopVac, then Swiffered with a wet pad. Not surprisingly, the pad was pretty dirty since I don't have time to mop very often.

After I was done cleaning, I unleashed Joy.

This was the result...

Joy the Mopper Filthy Pad!

Now, most of that dirt and cat hair you see had to be hiding underneath my sink and linen hutch. Which I was cleaning by blindly shoving a vacuum hose and Swiffer under there. Obviously Joy did a better job than I did... I just didn't realize how good a job she did until I saw this.

Like Carl, Joy kind of drunkenly stumbles around cleaning until she bumps into something, then she changes direction. Unlike Carl, whose path seems completely random, Joy actually tries to clean in a pattern. And because she's smart like that, you can create a "virtual wall" so Joy's cleaning area is confined. My kitchen/entryway is shaped in a big "U." To keep her cleaning where I wanted, I set Joy down with her "no fly zone" behind her when I define the "wall." This is a very cool feature and works exactly as advertised in the manual...

Joy's Room Map!

When she's cleaning a bathroom floor, I just close the door and let her go to town. That works too.

Like most RoboVacs, Joy has sensors to keep her from falling down stairs or mopping over something she shouldn't. Like, for example, my heater vents. The raised edge is not that high, but it's enough to deter Joy from running over it...

Joy the Mopper Avoids a Vent!

When Joy stumbles across an obstacle, she carefully navigates around them...

Even better, she doesn't spray water onto furniture or places other than the floor. Instead she backs away and squirts in front of it, which is pretty smart. As if that weren't enough, she is surprisingly small. Her diminutive size means she had no problem artfully cleaning around toilets or under furniture, which is exactly the kind of thing you want in a mopping robot...

Filling the water tank is a bit of a pain because there's a microscreen to prevent stuff from getting in there and clogging Joy's nozzle. The microscreen is so good at its job that it's actually kind of tough to even get water through! You have to fill with a slow dribble to give the water time to settle...

Joy the Mopper Microscreen!

The Braava Jet has four types of cleaning pads available, and can automatically sense which is attached so she knows how to clean and whether or not to spit water out...

  • Wet Mopping Pad: Has a mild cleaning agent and fresh scent. When attached, Joy will spit out max water and do a triple pass cleaning (ideal for tile and other floors that have great water resistance).
  • Damp Sweeping Pad: Has a mild cleaning agent and fresh scent. When attached, Joy will spit out minimal water and do a single pass cleaning (great for wood floors and less water-resistant surfaces... or quick cleaning on any surface).
  • Dry Sweeping Pad: Single-pass cleaning without any water. Basically just for dusting your floors. Recommended to use these before a wet pad to minimize dirt getting wet. No cleaning agent or scent.
  • Washable Wet Mopping Pad: A more environmentally-friendly option, these wet-mopping pads can be washed and reused up to 50 times. No cleaning agent or scent.

I bought some of the reusable pads but, since I can't fill Joy with a cleaning agent, you're pretty much just wet mopping. The fuzzy head does seem like it might clean grout between tiles a little better than a flat pad, but otherwise it doesn't seem like it can break down dirt as well as the disposable pads? Maybe if you pre-sprayed a vinegar/water solution on dirty spots it would be okay. Since I've only used the reusable pads after cleaning with the regular wet-mop pads, I'm not sure.

Right about now you may be saying "All that's well and good, Dave, but how do your cats like Joy?"

I've said many times how much my cats hate Carl the RoboVac. It's so bad that I am convinced that Jenny is conspiring with Clay the Litter-Robot to kill him. But Joy is a different story. Jake and Jenny don't seem to have a problem with her, and can sit and watch her clean for long periods of time...

The Cats Love Joy!

Jenny Eyes Joy Suspiciously!

Heaven only knows how long this friendly relationship will last. My hope is that eventually the cats will just ignore her.

And now the pros and cons of the iRobot Braava Jet...

  • PRO: Actually works! Obviously Joy doesn't have the downward force to really scrub your floor like a human on their hands and knees with a scrub brush, but she manages to pick up surface dirt and cat hair just fine.
  • PRO: Quiet. There's a pumping action when she's spitting water on the floor, but the mopping itself is near-silent.
  • CON: Can only be filled with plain water, not a cleaner. And the micro-screen which makes sure nothing falls into the tank and plugs the nozzle makes filling it a pain since you can only dribble the water in.
  • CON: Disposable pads are expensive and wasteful. Reusable pads don't do quite as a good a job since there's no cleaning agent "baked in" to help break down dirt and leave a fresh scent.
  • CON: Flat surfaces only. Can't really clean grout between tiles.
  • CON: Does not return to a charging base. You have to manually remove the battery and charge it separately.
  • CON: Cannot be scheduled to automatically clean. You have to manually position her and press "start" for operation.
  • PRO: Smart navigation. Does a surprisingly good job of cleaning around objects. Also... the small size and short height means the Braava Jet can clean underneath many furniture pieces.
  • CON: The sensor bar which rams into something is hard plastic, not soft rubber, which could leave marks on wood furniture.
  • PRO: The "virtual wall" feature actually does a good job of keeping the Braava Jet contained.
  • CON: You can only have one "virtual wall" at a time, so it's impossible to keep Joy contained in just a section of an open area unless you use something to block her path.
  • CON: Designed for smaller places like bathrooms or kitchens... not a good fit for larger rooms.

Overall? I'm quite happy with the Braava Jet RoboMop. For what she is and what she's designed to do, Joy is a great addition to my growing robot collection. She makes me want to investigate buying her bigger brother, the Braava 380t, which is designed for larger rooms. That might be a good solution for mopping my open-concept living/dining room's wood floors. The only thing that gives me pause is that my hideously-expensive wood ended up being total crap that slivers and splinters in spots, which causes Swiffer-type pads to snag. I've already gone around on my hands and knees to try and sand them out, but more are always appearing. Carl doesn't seem to have a problem with it, thankfully, so maybe a Braava isn't in the cards. Manually "spot-mopping" might be the way to go. I'm not too broken up about this because the bathrooms and kitchens are the places most in need of mopping.

If you need an occasional light mopping in your home, then the Braava Jet might be the robot for you. Especially if you have furniture that needs cleaning under. I'm giving Joy my Dave Seal of Approval.


Old Photos Week Day Five: Mom

Posted on October 27th, 2017

Dave!Welcome to Old Photos Week! Every day I will post a photo or two from the batch of film I had scanned recently. Since I sent it in blind, some of the images that came back were surprising. Some I had forgotten. Some I never even knew existed.

Of all the old film I've had scanned over the years, the photos that fascinate me most are those of my mom when she was little. It was a very different time back then, and seeing how her and my grandparents lived is one of those things that I can't get enough of...

My Mom!

My Mom!

My Mom!

My Mom!

My Mom!

My Mom!

My Mom!

Each generation grows up in very different times than the generation before it. My mind boggles when thinking of the world that future generations will be raised in.

Although if global tension keeps escalating, it could be that future generations will live through times more similar to my mother's than mine.


Old Photos Week Day Four: Skeleton Crew

Posted on October 26th, 2017

Dave!Welcome to Old Photos Week! Every day I will post a photo or two from the batch of film I had scanned recently. Since I sent it in blind, some of the images that came back were surprising. Some I had forgotten. Some I never even knew existed.

When I was a kid, Christmas was my favorite holiday by a long shot. My family went all out, and the mountain of presents under the Christmas tree was always one of the highlights of my year.

As an adult, my favorite holiday is Halloween.

Not so much for the dressing up, but because I love the whole atmosphere that goes with it. It's good, wholesome, spooky fun! And sometimes it's fun to dress up too.

In looking through the last batch of photos, I ran across some images of me wearing one of those cheap-ass Collegeville costumes that came in a window box you could pick up for $1.50 back in the day. You'd get a jumper with some kind of print on it that was sewn so poorly it would barely last the night, plus a matching mask made out of plastic so thin that it would crack and split just by breathing in it...

Davy at Halloween
Photo found on Etsy

Saf-T-C eye holes and flame retarded! Doesn't get much better than that!

Still, a lot of those old cheap costumes are a heck of a lot scarier than the ones you can buy today! Take, for example, the skeleton costume I am wearing in these creepy-ass photos...

Davy at Halloween

Davy at Halloween

Though what's truly scary is the bruise I've got on my face underneath the mask!

Davy at Halloween

I'm guessing I got it fighting a bear or something.

Hope you Halloween is extra-ghoulish this year!


  Home  Newer Entries

Blogography is a place to learn and grow by exposing yourself to the mind of David Simmer II, a brilliant commentator on world events and popular culture (or so he claims).
Dave FAQ:
Frequently Asked Questions
Dave Flickr Gallery:
Dave Contact:
Blogography Webfeeds:
Entries Feed
Comments Feed
Dave Social:
Blogography Tumblr
Blogography Instagram
Blogography on Pinterest
translate me
lost & found
Search Blogography:
thrice fiction
Thrice Fiction Magazine - March, 2011 - THE END
I'm co-founder of Thrice Fiction magazine. Come check us out!
free iphone app
Ask Dave iPhone App
Put Dave in your pocket with this FREE app for iPhone and iPod Touch. All life's answers await you with the Ask Dave app!
hard rock moment
Visit DaveCafe for my Hard Rock Cafe travel journal!
travel picto-gram
Visit my travel map to see where I have been in this world!
Blogography Badge
Atom Syndicate Badge
Comments Syndicate Badge
Apple Safari Badge
Pirate's Booty Badge
Macintosh Badge
All content copyright ©2003-2017
by David Simmer II
Creative Commons License
This weblog is licensed under
a Creative Commons License.
ssl security
Comodo SSL