WHY?!?

WHY DIDN'T I BUY MICHELIN TIRES?

Because I would 100% do this...

Maybe I'll just draw the Michelin Man on my tires anyway!

Yesterday I headed over the mountains which, depressingly, was an easy drive. This time of year, the road should have an unfathomably deep layer of snow off the side.

Six feet. Eight feet. Maybe even more. But it was just covering the barriers, even at the very top of the pass...

Here I am coming down the other side of the mountain, and you can see that the barrier is still visible...

So right now we're having major flooding and rain in the valley, which is a bad enough sign because it means that it's too warm to snow. And now seeing this in the mountains has me seriously worried we're in for drought this coming Summer.

I mean, I guess I'm grateful that it was an easy drive.

But not really.

Yesterday I had one of the easiest drives home from Seattle-side that I've ever had. 2 hours and 10 minutes of motoring bliss.

This morning I had one of the worst drives to work I've ever had. What's usually five minutes ended up being ten minutes of hell that had me wishing I would have walked.

Honestly, I just don't understand what is getting into people lately when driving. They're hostile, inattentive, impatient assholes. I had somebody come up behind me and was so close I honestly thought I was going to get rear-ended. I had a car lay on the horn because I dared to wait for two kids to cross the street. I had one car come at me half into my lane, and I had nowhere to go... and if I hadn't braked and laid on the horn as quickly as I did, there would have been an accident.

So, yeah. Not a great start to my morning.

I'm building build building this weekend, but I haven't forgot about you, dear reader... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• DestructiPad! Apple introduced their amazing new iPads in the worst way possible. To illustrate how this miracle device is capable of a huge number of creative endeavors, from music to art to research, they released a commercial where a massive hydraulic press squishes musical instruments, art supplies, and other physical tools into nothingness. And they let you see the destruction in excruciating, closeup detail...

Now, I get what they were trying to do... but holy shit. Who thought this ad which celebrates the death of physical creativity would be a good idea? The first thing I thought was "Do they not speak with foreign culture consultants before releasing their ads?" Because the first thing I thought of was... there are cultures where creative tools are revered, and destroying them like this is an unforgivable act. And, sure enough, the outrage was immediate. Particularly from Japan, where something like this is unforgivable. But it should anger anybody who thinks this kind of waste is senseless. Apple ultimately apologized, but it is crazy to me that they were so stupid as to do this in the first place. They could have animated it... or used cardboard cut-out representations... or anything where the actual objects weren't destroyed.

   
• MaxiPad! Tone-deaf commercial aside, the new iPads are incredble. The display, the power, the larger size, the new stylus... it's a digital creator's dram come true. I don't use my iPad enough to justify buying a new one (I have a 2020 iPad Pro), but was curious to know how much my ideal iPad configuration with accessories would cost. It's $2000... not including AppleCare. But no worries... Apple will give me $65 to trade in my old iPad Pro! Yikes. I'll just wait for the MacBook Pro M4, thanks.

   
• Exit! Okay. Dang. Sometimes short films have more impact per second than a multi-million dollar flick...

This brilliantly illustrates how a film doesn't necessarily have to take its time and build up characters into fully-realized people in order to be entertaining. Sure traditional long-form movies are my preferred way to experience a story, but running into something like this shows that it's not the only way to tell a story. If you haven't seen it yet, be sure to check out my last short film pick, Two Strangers Meet Five Times.

   
• THERE IT IS! And... scene...

Here's the thing: I have never had a desire to wear nail polish. It's never been my thing, even when I was into cultures where it was a part. But seeing all these snowflakes getting so triggered by FUCKING NAIL POLISH makes me actually want to start wearing it. The idea that guys can't accessorize their appearance without being trashed by the toxic masculinity brigade is absurd. Why the fuck are people so invested in what other people are doing with their appearance? Let them do them and you do you. It's not that hard to ignore shit that makes others happy that you wouldn't do for yourself.

   
• EXIT SLOW! Ah yes. The Union Street exit in Seattle. I have taken it many times. And have seen people nearly lose control many times. Never seen a crash... but I believe they happen often because of how it's designed. Some guy set up a camera to catch accidents of cars taking the exit too fast, and they do indeed happen often...

You'd think that people driving in an area that they are unfmiliar with would be following all suggested speed signs rather than ignoring them. Odds are, there's a reason that they tell you to slow way down.

   
• More Runner! One of my most favorite films of all time is Blade Runner 2049. It shocks me to this day that it wasn't a massive blockbuster success. This is the film that genius-director Denis Villeneuve made before his celebrated Dune films, and it's equally phenomenal. This week it was annonced that Amazon Prime Video is making a sequel series... WITH MICHELLE FUCKING YEOH!!! I gotta tell you, I have no idea when Blade Runner 2099 is going to happen, but I am already looking forward to seeing it. If it's even half as good as 2049, it will be well worth the wait.

   
• NEWSFLASH: Ted Cruz Called Automatic Airline Refunds a ‘Dumb Idea.’ Senators Disagreed. Do you think that if Ted Cruz blows enough airline executives he can take his next Cancún vacation for free? The refund is not immediate-immediate. It's only if your flight has been significantly delayed and you don't rebook another flight to replace it. The only thing this changes is that you don't have to fill out a bunch of paperwork and let the airline string your along forever... or issue you some stupid credit that you'll never use before it expires. Where the fuck does this boot-licker asshole come up with this outrageous shit? Do people even believe his ridiculous crap anymore? Ted Cruz is a fucking embarrassment, and the fact that he still has a job shocks the shit out of me. Republicans don't think that they deserve to get their money back with a minimum of inconvenience when they get fucked over by over-bookings or maintenance failures or whatever? Get real.

   
And now back to hammering...

Our winter has been relatively mild. It's snowed, sure, but it always melts away in short order. But then this morning it was bitter cold. And yet the sun was shining, so I anticipated it would warm up by the afternoon.

It did not.

When I left the office to get into my car and go home, the sun had been replaced with overcast skies and snow. Not tons of snow, but enough that the wind blowing it around produced whiteout conditions. As if that weren't bad enough, the snow had been fused to my car window by the cold, making it really difficult to scrape off.

But that's not all! Not only could I barely see, but my car didn't want to start and it was running weird. Even the turn signals sounded slow and clunky.

When I finally managed to get home, I was incredibly thankful that I had a garage to pull into...

Since I couldn't scrape the car itself, I just brushed off the snow as best I could. I expect the remainder will melt since my garage is slightly above freezing.

Which beats trying to melt it off with a blowdryer in this -6° heatwave we're having.

UPDATE: But that's not all! I never heard my heat pump turn on. I was then informed that it won't turn on when it's so cold that there's no heat to extract from the air. The only option is for my HVAC system to engage the Auxilary Heat. Which is far more expensive to run, but I'm awfully glad I have it...

UPDATE UPDATE: But that's not all! It's Saturday morning and it's -14° out... but it feels like -23°... which is to say I'm hiding in my house all weekend...

Times like this I wish I had millions of dollars to spend winter in a warmer client.

The thing about driving over the mountains is that you never know what you're going to get. In the Summer, they can have construction going on that delays you up to an hour. In the Winter, the weather can be bad which delays you up to an hour. Now, it sounds as though the weather component would be a bigger problem. Historically, that's certainly been the case. But now-a-days? You are far, far more likely to be delayed by road construction in Summer. Snow removal is actually very, very good, which keeps roads open. On top of that? We just don't get snow like we used to.

I remember driving over in the 90's where the roads had to be carved out of massive amounts of snow. It would be piled on the sides of the road so high that it towered over you. It was wild. And more than a little scary. But that rarely happens now. Sure there are days that the mountains get loads of snow... but it's just not the problem it once was.

Today's drive over the mountain was just... pretty... as shown in these shots taken from my dashcam...

There was only snow on the roads at the top of the mountain pass.

Not that this stopped some people from driving ten miles under the speed limit on essentially clear (albeit wet) roads. Because of course it doesn't.

That's something you can count on regardless of weather.

The most terrifying moment in my entire life was when I was driving back to Boston from Maine very early in the morning and saw headlights approaching towards me in my lane. I had to turn so hard to avoid a head-on that I swear two wheels came off the pavement and I legit thought I was going to flip over. Had I been even a little less alert, I would be dead. I don't know if somebody fell asleep or what... but my immediately suspicious was that they were driving drunk. I slowed way down to see if they ended up hitting anybody behind me... but nobody was there. I was going to take the next exit and call the police, but a car with lights went blazing by before I could do it. I still consider it an absolute miracle that nobody was killed.

Which is why reading a story of a man on his fifth drunk driving charge killing all four children of a Wisconsin couple fills me with equal parts disbelief and rage. I was almost a statistic when it comes to collateral death due to drunk drivers, and here's four young people who ARE statistics. All cars need to have impaired driver detection... somehow... some way. Because people who drive drunk and live will likely never stop.

As I was driving over the mountains for the Peter Gabriel concert with Jester, a big pickup came roaring up behind me. I was in the passing lane, but I was... A) Actually passing somebody, and B) Wasn't going under the speed limit... so there was no cause for him grinding on my bumper. The speed limit was 70mph, I was passing at 75mph. As what usually happens, the person I was passing increased their speed, which meant I had to increase mine to 80mph... then finally 85mph just so I could finally pass them and get that truck off my ass.

The minute I pulled right again, the truck went blasting past me. Probably flipping me off in the process, because isn't that what these aggressive asshole drivers do? Even when I wasn't doing anything wrong (except exceeding the speed limit so he would get off my ass).

But then?

Sweet Justice.

As we rounded the next corner an unmarked police car was pulling off the side of the road with lights blaring.

And sure enough, I caught up to the pickup that was likely going 90mph as he was pulled over.

Ultimately I don't give a shit if somebody wants to exceed the speed limit (although I think that 20mph over the limit is probably too dangerous a speed to be going). Heck, I bounce around 5mph over myself. But holy crap... is it really necessary to terrorize people on the road to do it? It's not like I was driving in the passing lane under the speed limit and not passing anybody! I was using the lane as it was designed to be used!

Oh well. Assholes will be assholes and all that.

I was supposed to drive over the mountains on Friday. But the forecast called for freezing rain, which makes driving in the mountains crazy-hazardous, so I took a big ol' pass and drove over on Thursday.

There were a few slippery spots along the way, but it was a good drive overall and I didn't have to put chains on, which was nice...

I was due to drive back on Christmas Day (Sunday) but the mountain passes were closed. The one I drove over has no estimated opening date, the other route had decent roads, but there was a semi jack-knifed on the second pass, so that was closed. It was still closed on Monday morning, but eventually opened at 11am. The roads themselves were pretty good. The problem was that there was a lot of people on the road post-holiday, and half of them were either clueless or assholes. Now there's freezing rain all over the place, which makes me very happy I'm not driving in it. Instead I'm in bed with the cats trying not to fall asleep. If I go to bed before 10pm, I'll wake up at 4am and be very cross indeed.

Today I'm driving over the mountains. A prospect that looks a lot better than it did yesterday when the snow was dumping down.

Not that I'm worried about the driving, mind you. I've been driving in the snow forever. No, I'm worried about the sheer number of idiots on the road who either drive too fast for conditions or don't pay close enough attention while operating a motor vehicle.

Which is most people, alas.

It always seems weird that some people want to risk getting seriously hurt or dead... or causing others to get seriously hurt or dead... by not slowing down and paying attention.

I guess it's all worth it if you can text grandma that you're driving balls-to-the-walls so you can be there in time for cocktails.