After nearly two weeks of eye trauma spoiling my plans, I decided to head over the mountains to hang out with friends and forget about the day-to-day grind for a while.

The drive over was mostly a good one.

I still can't wrap my head around three things...

1. Drivers who have no plans to drive the speed limit, and are happy to be fucking over dozens of other cars by inviting other drivers to dangerously try and pass them (seriously... if you or your car can't go the speed limit, maybe it's time to stop driving).
2. Aggressive drivers who don't care about anybody's safety by driving like complete assholes... even when everybody else on the road is driving the speed limit or higher. One of the people who could end up dead is you, dumbass.
3. Why does the State always have multiple projects fucking things up on the same roadway at the same time? When your two-hour-and-fifteen-minute trip is 40 minutes longer than usual, it's a problem. In other countries (probably in other states) they focus effort on knocking out one project at a time so that they don't have to have many, many stops along a single route. But my state? No.

All that being said... it could have been worse. I could have been going East instead of West. The traffic heading East was insane. Just a massive line for miles and miles. If I were in the middle of that, I'd have to ask myself if the weekender trip was even worth it.

Maybe it's because I am a homebody at heart now-a-days... but for me the answer would be "no."

When I was in Miami Beach a few weeks ago, I couldn't help but think back to the time I took my mom for a visit. I wanted to stay in a nice place, so I booked a room in the legendary Fontainebleau hotel. When we arrived, I was met by a woman who took me to a desk for check-in. The first words out of her mouth after welcoming us were "And what are you wanting from your Fontainebleau experience this visit?" This puzzled me, so I answered with "Um... a place to sleep while I'm showing my mom around one of my favorite cities?" Which got me an instant look of disdain. She put us in a room that was under a patio room so we could listen to chairs scraping above us all morning. It was a shitty experience, and there was nothing "five star" about my stay. I would have had a far better time staying at a number of hotels which were half the price.

Back when I was traveling to Vegas a few times a year when I was volunteering with a charity, I saw that a new Fontainebleau property was being built in the city. Every time I visited, it looked further along until it just kinda... stopped.

I never knew what happened. I just assumed that financing was paused or whatever. On my last trip to Sin City before the pandemic hit, the property was no closer to opening and my guess was it had been abandoned. The actual story was a little more complicated than that, which I found out when this video popped up in my feed...

The place finally opened at the tail-end of 2023.

But has apparently had a tough go of it. Las Vegas has lapsed into a massive disappointment where prices have skyrocketed as the experience has cratered. Especially when it comes to food and drink because in addition to being incredibly expensive, meals are small portions with poor quality even at celebrated restaurants. Drinks are watered-down. Add on those fucking "resort fees" which mandatorily charge you for bullshit that should be included with the room price, and I'm very glad I don't have to go there 2 or 3 times a year. Because even though I wasn't paying for my visits, I would still be mad to see charity money being wasted like this. Assuming that the charity would still be going to Vegas given how the city has calmed down considerably, and most of the reasons I was working there have evaporated.

Odds are that eventually I would have been put up at the Fontainebleau Las Vegas.

Which has me wondering if they're still asking people "And what are you wanting from your Fontainebleau experience this visit?" Because I know exactly how I'd answer this time... "I am wanting a clean, comfortable, QUIET room where it might be possible to sleep in after a very long night." Which you'd think would be a given in Las Vegas, but likely not at the Fontainebleau hotel, where you can assume nothing.

Here I am, back from vacation and ready to start dropping bullets I've been collecting over the past week... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts...now...

   
• Trash Panda Review! Let's start out our Sunday by looking at something uplifting, shall we?

I love raccoons. YouTube knows I love raccoons. So you can bet at some point while I'm scrolling through YouTube that there will be raccoons on my page. Interesting to note that raccoons may be the next animal to be domesticated for wide-scale adoption as pets...

Not sure how my cats would react to having a raccoon in the house though.

   
• GAAAAAAH! If only I could afford to purchase something like this for my home...

Nicholas Hernandez Art is an Instagram account I was following seconds after I saw the finished product. Gorgeous. Friction' gorgeous. And oh-so-expensive... but worth the price.

   
• King of the Road! Good God. When people think that they can regulate who gets to park on a public street... and get the police to help them enforce it... then society is fucking fucked...

Nothing surprises me any more. Nothing.

   
• Learn from Example! Totally valid...

I learned everything not to do in life from watching television.

   
• Olympic! If you want to step away from the horrors of the world, this guy is visiting one of my favorite hotels on earth... not so far from me in Seattle!

I really need to pay a visit again one of these days. I can't really afford to spend the night... but the bar and restaurant are worth the money to visit.

   
• Bad Omens! I have few regrets in life. Watching the finale of Good Omens is one of them. What a complete betrayal of all that came before. I cannot fucking fathom what would make the writers come up with something so devoid of joy for two characters that people adore. Let alone what would make Prime Video greenlight it.

Terry Pratchett would not... COULD NOT... approve. It doesn’t even make sense. I would have much rather lived with a cliffhanger forever than to have suffered through this abomination. Everybody deserves a do-over.

   
• Enjoy Our Hellscape! I tried my best to avoid the news while I was gone. And catching up this week has been the nightmare you'd think it would be.

• Soon after massive honeybee deaths, Trump moves to close the nation’s premier bee lab. I know he likely doesn't understand how totally screwed we are if the bee population collapses, but isn't there anybody in his entire administration who has a clue and can speak out?
• Former ‘pray the gay away’ Orlando ministry leader arrested for soliciting a teen boy. Why don't we just save the time? Any time somebody speaks out against the gays, the drag queens, the trans community... any of it... just go and arrest them. Because they are obviously trying to point attention away from whatever messed up stuff they're into. Like preying on a 14 year-old boy. It's always the same with these people. Every accusation is an admission. And every time I see somebody attempting to drum up hate against a marginalized community, I'm just going to assume they're a pedo asshole.
• Conservative Group Sues ‘Find A Black Doctor’ Directory Over Discrimination. Jesus. It takes minutes to Google the absolutely abhorrent discrimination and lack of care provided to Persons of Color. Even the most fundamental basics... like pain management... is another world when you’re Black. It isn’t racist to want a doctor who will care for you from a perspective you share. Not even a little bit. This kind of thing blows my mind. Just fuck ALL the way off with your ignorance. The fact that this lawsuit is even a thing IS VIVIDLY DEMONSTRATING PROBLEM!
• FDA staff blindsided by move allowing more e-cigarettes and nicotine pouches onto US market. So first RJ Reynolds donates $5 million to Trump. Then Trump invites their executives to Mar-a-Lago where they ask him to loosen regulations on flavored vapes. Then Trump calls RFK Jr. and tells him to change government policy. I guess now we wait for strychnine to be allowed in breakfast cereals because General Mills and Kellogg's sends their executives to Mar-A-Lago to explain that testing for poisons costs them too much money. All they have to do is throw a little cash his way, and it's done! He doesn't care about anything but money, so what does the health of American citizens matter? Spoiler Alert: We don't matter.
• Republicans call off vote on Iran war resolution that was on the verge of passing. So there it is. There's no representation in government any more. The minute our representatives work to initiate change, the President's goon squad simply prevents them from being able to act. Isn't democracy great?
• Trump accused of downplaying the 13 military lives lost in Iran war: 'In other wars you lost hundreds of thousands'. "I get a kick when I look at somebody on television saying, 'he's lost 13 people'" — As Commander in Chief, he is directly responsible for 13 soldiers under his command losing their lives. All to distract from him being in the Epstein Files over 38,000 times. And this is what he has to say about them? Our soldiers laying their lives on the line deserve better than this kind of flippant bullshit.
• Trump Endangers Wild Animals by Authorising Lethal Cyanide Bombs Across Millions of Acres of Public Land. Not just animals... people. People are probably going to die. This is sadistic, horrific shit that everybody agrees needed to go away. But when you're going to sell public lands off to enrich your corrupt family, you can't have coyotes running around, can you? They really mess up being able to build an AI data center.

The mess we're in is crazy-easy to understand when you consider how things work now...

Confirmation bias. It's a hell of a drug.

   
And now... back to work. Because yesterday I fell asleep before I could finish. Tomorrow is a holiday for me. Here's hoping that I can take at least one day off.

When it comes to a cruise, anything less than 3 nights doesn't feel worth it... and anything more than 7 nights feels too long to be trapped on a big boat. My cruise was 5 nights, which is just about perfect. But that's not to say that I was happy about disembarking. Oh heck no. I would have gladly stayed onboard for those two extra nights. Bet.

Since they kick you off the ship early in the morning, most people just book a trip home that same day. I usually do not, preferring to stay an extra night at a hotel. It beats having to spend a big chunk of the day waiting for my flight at the airport. And, even more importantly, this time the cost to fly out the same day was significantly more expensive than waiting for some reason.

So... off to Fort Lauderdale Beach for a bit.

To drink seven mojitos of various flavors. Yes, seven...

The place was The Salty Sombrero, which I highly recommend. Great food, great drinks, great service, great view...

My room also had a great view, but it didn't have somebody serving me fresh mojitos all day...

But of course the beach is always better when you're not having to look at it through a window...

And that was it. All that was left to fly home the next morning...

Oh Florida, don't ever change.

Yesterday I went over arguably my favorite things about the Disney Destiny... the themed lounges. But, like the other ships in their line, there's a lot of great theming throughout the entire ship. The overall theme is "Heroes and Villains" and most everything is geared around the concept.

For one thing, the regular staterooms can be decorated with either Hercules, Mulan, Brave, Raya, The Incredibles, or Big Hero 6. Mine was Herc...

Hercules is easily the most prominent character on the ship. He's everywhere...

A neighbor was a pretty big Herc fan and decorated their door accordingly...

And his biggest moment is a live stage show that's remarkably well-done. Easily my favorite of any Disney onboard theater show I've seen, with next-level performances. I liked it so much I saw it twice. And I don't even like Broadway...

But villains have a moment too. One of the "big gets" onboard (in addition to the Cruella show I talked about yesterday) is a magic show by Dr. Facilier in his parlor (and I was sure to tell him that he got robbed because he wasn't in the Tiana's Bayou Adventure ride, and he refused to acknowledge the attraction)...

Maleficent had her own show, and appears in various places around the ship in art and furnishings...

Black Panther is the atrium sculpture, but Loki is the one with his own show...

Most cruise ships do their level best to keep you well-fed and entertained, and Disney is no exception. They've got it all. Including... BABY RACING?!?

Gotta tell you... there were a lot of people on their feet screaming at babies to crawl to the finish line. I honestly don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. Probably a good thing.

Except for the trauma of being disqualified because you walked instead of crawled.

Come aboard... it's your Destiny!

I've now been on four Disney ships. The Magic and its twin ship The Wonder... and The Wish, and now it's twin ship The Destiny. The former pair are significantly smaller and more intimate than the latter, but all Disney ships (regardless of size) have the impeccable service and theming you'd expect.

The Destiny is a carbon copy of The Wish which I sailed on last December, but a few of the areas have been changed. Most notably, instead of Star Wars: Hyperspace Lounge you get Haunted Mansion Parlor and instead of Nightingale's you get DeVil's and instead of Tiana's The Bayou you get Doctor Strange's The Sanctum and instead of Arendelle: A Frozen Dining Adventure you get The Pridelands: A Lion King Dining Adventure. And, I gotta say, the Destiny versions are in every way superior. So let's take a look at them, shall we?

I was more than a little disappointed in Star Wars: Hyperspace Lounge because it seemed superficial in its theming. But Haunted Mansion Parlor is another matter entirely. It's brilliantly, beautifully, abundantly themed in every way...

The bar has a magical mirror behind it where ghosts and spirits appear. Including Madame Leota...

The fish tank at the center of the room has skeletal fish appearing and disappearing, and it's a very cool effect...

The portraits on the wall are magical things which change over time and even come to life...

As if that wasn't enough, the drinks are fantastic...

   
DeVil's is a piano bar with an appearance by Cruella herself, and involves you writing a song to honor her with an audience participation angle that's genius. If there's a must-do experience which is 100% worth standing in line for an hour to get into, this is it...

The drinks are pretty amazing too...

   
Doctor Strange's The Sanctum doesn't really have the theming you'd hope for, but the bartenders here were exceptional, and I made repeat visits just to chat with them...

If there's a misstep, for me it would be The Pride Lands: Feast of the Lion King. Probably because I was expecting a show which featured the amazing costumes from Julie Taymor's broadway production... but it was just singing. Great singing, for sure, but that's it...

This is all just the tip of the iceberg. And why a Disney cruise is worth your valuable time to explore.

I could have easily spent another day in South Beach, but it's almost impossible to visit Miami without a trip to Little Havana. Not just because it's a vibrant neighborhood with an impeccable vibe and awesome music oozing out of every nook and cranny... but because it's an awesome place to wander.

I love it here...

Lunch was at Cubata, a phenomenal restaurant which is a kinda Cuban/Spanish fusion place with incredible tapas to be had. I would have had a drink at the Hard Rock Cafe, but the pig fucking assholes were closed for a "private event"...

I will never, ever fucking understand how a restaurant chain which strives to be a destination event which practically demands that you visit as many as you can will close the entire fucking place without warning. It's happened to me more than a couple times, and it's one of the big reasons I no longer give a shit if I ever visit another one after having been to 172 of them around the world.

And then it was time to return to South Beach, where adorable robots have taken over the city...

One thing's for sure, it was a beautiful day at the beach...

Sadly, it was also my last day at the beach.

I was going to keep blogging while I was on vacation, but it was tough to find the mental strength to pull out my computer knowing all the horrific shit going on in the country and the world. So I left it in my bag. Sorry to my friends who might have thought something horrible happened to me. Sorry to my haters that I wasn't dead this whole time. Better luck next time.

But anyway...

Thanks to an opportunity too good to be true, I found myself heading back to Florida for a Disney cruise. This time on the brand new Disney Destiny. It's basically a re-theme of the Disney Wish, where some of the lounges, restaurants, and shows have been changed. But most everything is pretty much the same.

But I had a couple days in Miami before boarding the ship, so let's start there, shall we?

I've never sat down and made a list of my favorite American cities but, if I did, the South Beach neighborhood of Miami would most certainly be on that list. I have been extremely fortunate enough to have visited multiple times and have always wished I could have stayed longer. This time was no exception.

Whether it's the architecture, the food, or the vibe... South Beach has it all. But, to me, especially the architecture. And especially at night...

Before my late-night walk down Ocean Drive, I took the opportunity to eat at my favorite restaurant in town, Havana 1957. They have a Garden Cuban Salad with a cilantro dressing that will kill you... and a darn good SUPER MOJITO!

If only there was one of these down the street from my house.

Jalopnik: With 12,000 Flights Canceled In May Already, We've Got Bad News About Your Summer Vacation.

"The U.S. is now two months deep into an unprovoked war with Iran and the results have not been kind to anyone. In the states inflation tripled with surging gas prices, which quickly reached an average of over $4.00/gallon nationally. And in a world completely dependent on fuel, any shortage in the supply system hurts everyone, especially concerning air travel. It's bad enough that Matt Smith, Kpler director of commodity research warned on CNBC's "Squawk Box" that the 12,000 flights have been cancelled in May — of which we're only five days in — was only the beginning. Expect jet fuel prices to affect your summer travel, or even cancel it."

This is what incompetence in government looks like. They're so desperate to distract from the Epstein Files that we're now in a war that's fucked the entire country... and, indeed, the world.

I'm so sick of this non-stop parade of horrors I could vomit.

"I found what you're looking for... but you're not going to like it."

I've been wanting to frame the Disney pin lanyards that my mom and I got from our Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos trip. But I've hard a really tough time finding a shadow box frame long enough to display both the lanyard and the Angkor Wat visitor permit like I wanted... WITH REAL GLASS AND NOT ACRYLIC. I fucking hate acrylic, and it's most of what's sold now. The crap attracts dust like a magnet and scratches ridiculously easily.

But then a friend called to tell me that they saw what I was looking for at fucking Hobby Lobby. A place that disgusts me because of the owner's horrific politics. So I stopped in and, sure enough, there they were. The perfect frames. Exactly what I've been looking for. After trying to find something for years, I just bit the bullet and bought them... knowing full well that I'll be making a donation to Planned Parenthood in Hobby Lobby's name to offset the damage done by giving them my money.

They do look great. Though I'd like to replace the backing velvet with a deep blue so the black lanyard can be seen (instead of blending with the black velvet that's there now)...

I wish that such an abhorrent company like Hobby Lobby hadn't run all the competition out of business. I use them as only a last resort, but I'd rather not use them at all.

I should have tried to make my own, but I've only made frames... never shadow boxes.

Next time maybe.