Your Disney adventure with me is not over just yet... because a very special, all new, all Disney Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• Remy 2D! One of the attractions I was sure to ride was Remy's Ratatouille Adventure at the France Pavilion in Epcot. I've always liked it as a clever and fun ride that finally gave World Showcase an E-Ticket ride. Recently they took out the need for 3D glasses, and I wanted to see if it's as good. It isn't. The 3D immersion was very well done. It wasn't a gimmick, it really added to the attraction's experience. Now it's just looking at a flatter, less interesting visual on screens. Not only that, but it's more blurry... especially at the beginning. I wish they hadn't downgraded it, but I can see how it would be better for people who are missing an eye or have very poor eyesight since they won't need to wear 3D glasses over their regular glasses. I just wish that the ride was in 3D most of the time, but had a few 2D showings for people who need that.
• Track 3! Another attraction which got downgraded? Test Track. They tore out a lot of the ride to "update" them, but it's just not as fun and doesn't really make much sense now. On top of that, the very end has been completely redone where you drive through a very large domed screen showing the future of automobiles, which feels like an abrupt end to a ride that's been gutted. It's a bizarre choice, and kinda undercuts what made the attraction such a classic.
• Together! Not really an upgrade or a downgrade, the new Zootopia: Better Together ride which replaced A Bug's Life: It's Tough to Be a Bug in Animal Kingdom feels like a sidegrade. It seems like they just re-skinned the bugs into Zootopia characters and called it a day. Even though I really like both Zootopia movies, I'd probably give the edge to It's Tough to Be a Bug because it was an original instead of a re-theme and wasn't aging poorly at all. I suppose Disney probably did it do to the popularity of the newer films more than anything else.
• RoboLincoln! I haven't been to Disneyland since they installed the Walt Disney animatronic. Which is to say that I haven't seen it in person, only in photos. And every time I'm thinking two things... 1) This does not look like Walt Disney... and 2) I wonder what he looks like with all his skin removed? Because I've seen photos of other animatronics, and they always look so clunky. I was reminded of this when I saw Abe Lincoln while at Disney World...
And it's like... does a modern animatronic look like this underneath? I sure hope not. This is totally giving FemBot vibes...
Remember in The Bionic Woman where they suspected Oscar Goldman was a fembot so they dropped that pencil and Oscar stepped on it and crushed it and you were like "ZOMFG! OSCAR GOLDMAN IS A FEMBOT!!!" and your mind was blown because you thought fembots could only be lady robots and here we are with a man robot?? Yeah. Good times. I don't know why they can't successfully reboot The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman. Such a great concept.
• Immersive! There's a lot of tossing around of the word "immersive" when it comes to theme parks. Disney used to be the absolute master of this. But that hasn't been true in a minute. Probably since Animal Kingdom opened. That was the last time that there was a coherent vision behind a project that wasn't just shitting out IP everywhere, even when it makes no sense. For example... just look at this sign for bathrooms that Animal Kingdom has...
It's brilliant. Everything from how they say it to how they write it (you can still see the guides they drew before painting the words!) looks like it belongs in an authentic setting. They could have just put up a regular "bathrooms" sign, but they wanted to maintain an illusion, so they did something to make that happen. Now-a-days Disney just slaps one of their characters on a sign and calls it good. No effort to build a narrative or show any imagination... just put Mickey on it and you're done. It's really sad.
• Hamm! To end this post, I want to point out that the Toy Story section of Disney Hollywood Studios puts out a giant Hamm frosted sugar cookie for decoration for the holidays...
This is so cute that they really should have many, many more characters as sugar-cookies for the holidays!
And, just like that, your Disney adventure is over just like mine!
Breakfast on the ship for my group was 6:45. Fortunately I didn't stay up late, so it wasn't a big deal. My suitcase was packed yesterday, so I pretty much just had my small backpack and a bag of souvenir mugs I bought.
And then there was disembarking the ship.
In all the many years of cruising with my mom, I have never experiences a total cluster-fuck like I did this morning on the Disney Wish. It was mind-boggling how there was no organization... no direction... and no crew members knowing what the heck to do. Somebody mentioned that they usually don't experience such a large number of people getting off the ship at the same time and didn't anticipate the mess we were in. And I'm like "shouldn't you though?"
Eventually disembarkation was acheived and I was ready to... GO BACK TO WALT DISNEY WORLD!
Just for a day. Because I never want to risk flying in or out on the same day I'm embarking or disembarking a cruise.
And here's where I am going to rant on Disney a bit.
As I mentioned, I bought some souvenir mugs at some of the Disney restaurants I ate at (including that very cool mug for my $46 drink at Beak and Barrel!). I thought it would be no big deal to go to the gift shop of my hotel, Disney's Caribbean Beach Resort, and have them mail the mugs home.
I was told "no."
But why?
Because the mugs were in a food environment.
But no food was ever in them! No drink was ever in them! They give you a freshly-boxed mug that's never been anywhere near food!
Doesn't matter. Open food was in the vicinity, and we can't insure products that come from a place that serves food.
Good Lord what a stupid fucking rule.
This meant I had to take an Über to a UPS Pack-and-Ship in order to send my mugs home (which is cheaper than purchasing an extra suitcase and checking one of my bags). And so... I cushioned the mug boxes the best I could with dirty clothes, handed it over to the UPS employee, and hoped for the best. Guess I'll know if my pricey souvenirs arrive in one piece in a week.
From there I Übered back to my hotel in order to ride the Skyliner to Epcot.
And here's where I am going to praise Disney a bit.
I mentioned to a cast member at guest services how we were rained out the last time it was an Epcot day, and all our Lightning Lanes were canceled. The cast member said "No problem!" then looked up the tickets and gave all three of them back! This was completely unexpected. And a nice surprise.
The only ride where I was standing in a long line was Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind, but it's worth it because it's the best ride that Disney has. Something Epcot desperately needs, because the number of great rides there is pretty small. I'll save my attraction thoughts for Bullet Sunday.
But anyway... in-between rides it was mostly time to wander through the shops of World showcase where, oddly enough, I didn't actually end up buying anything. I was sorely tempted by the Sanrio potato chips at the Japan Pavillion...
They had Guedetama chips, which are salted egg yolk flavor (Gudetama being a very popular Sanrio character because he's just a tired egg yolk who is apathetic about the world around him)...
There was also Aggretsuko chips, which are pink salt flavor (Aggretsuko is a combination of "Aggressive Retsuko," another popular Sanrio character which is a red panda that has a normal life... except she can explode with rage when stressed out about the world around her, which is often)...
I swear that I was totally wanting to go all Aggretsuko when Disney wouldn't ship the mugs that they sold me!
Dinner was at the Nine Dragons restaurant in the China Pavillion. It was good food, as expected. What was not expected was the horrific mess that a table near ours left. These photos were taken as the table was being cleaned and don't even show the disaster it was before they started trying to clean up...
Yes, they had some kids at the table... but my God... I would have been mortified to leave such a mess! If this is how your kids eat, maybe feed them directly instead of giving them access to food? Or, at the very least, attempt to clean up the mess you made so that the workers don't have to deal with all this. I hope they tipped an extra $100.
And then it was time to ride the Skyliner back to the hotel. At which time fireworks were going off out the window...
What a lucky break! Quite a nice end to the night, actually.
And now it's time to say good bye to all things Disney, as I have to be up at 4:30am so I can get to the airport in time for my 7:00am flight back home.
Today was built around going to Magic Kingdom so I could visit the brand new Beak & Barrell Tavern, Disney's newest way to print money.
It's near The Pirates of The Caribbean attraction, and beautifully pirate-themed and jam-packed with cool stuff from top to bottom, and there's hidden surprises throughout...
Before I even made the reservation (which is very difficult for West Coasters since they start taking them at 4am Pacific Time and are gone immediately), I knew I wanted to try the Cook’s Corn Griddle Cakes with Roasted Corn and Poblano Peppers. I had heard they were excellent (and they live up to the hype).
But here's the thing... though there is seating available, there's also standing tables. Which makes eating more of a challenge than it should be. Especially when they stand you half-way between the accessible dip in the table and the tall table top, meaning you have to eat on a small corner away from your plate...
Now, I get it... they have to pack in as many people as possible, so they can't have sit-down tables for everybody (and I am very glad that they have an accessible spot for somebody in a wheelchair), but they should really prioritize seating for people who are there to eat. Otherwise, they shouldn't bother serving food at all.
I did get a very cool souvenir mug with my $46 Plunderer’s Punch though (a tempting blend of The Kraken Black Spiced Rum, Blackberry, Lime, and Vanilla)...
Unfortunately, this was another day of rain. But this time it was a torrential flood, as faithfully indicated by Carrot Weather...
Hopping over to Epcot resulted in canceled Lightning Lanes all over the place due to ride closures, so calling it an early day only made sense.
And there you go. A cool experience with fantastic drinks and very, very good corn cakes. The Beak and Barrel is worth a visit, assuming you can manage to get a reservation.
Another Disney night, another Disney party.
This time the extra hours event called "Jollywood Nights" at Disney Hollywood Studios park. It's the more mature alternative to "Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party" that I was at on Thursday. It's more show-oriented than anything else, but there's things for everybody to do. At least I hope so given that the event lasts until 1:30am...
It was cold, rainy, and I left before it shut down at 1:30am, as did most people. But not before wandering around the parking lot near-empty conditions to look around without crowds, especially Star Wars Land...
And thus ends another night at The Most Magical Place on Earth.
I've attempted to "drink around the world" on two occasions.
For those not in the know as to what that means, it's a Disney challenge where you have an alcoholic beverage from every pavillion in Epcot's World Showcase. There's 11 countries represented, which means 11 drinks. This wouldn't be a terrible challenge for me if I started drinking when they start serving alcohol around 11:00am, but I didn't get off work until 3:30 or 4:00 at the earliest, which means I only get around 5-6 hours to do it. Fortunately, the drinks are mostly weak because Disney doesn't want people getting plowed in their park, but it's still a chunk of alcohol in a relatively short time.
The first time I tried I started in Mexico and went clockwise. I stopped at United Kingdom because I couldn't stomach one more drink. The second time I went counter-clockwise thinking it would be easier to finish on a margarita in Mexico, but was again one drink short.
This time I didn't want to fail, so I started early and split some of my drinks. Which I think still counts, doesn't it? Here's how it went...
As I mentioned, the first drink of the day, The Ottawa Apple, was a clear winner. Refreshingly delicious...
And here's Ashley at the CandleLight Processional...
The last thing of the evening was to use a Lightning Lane for the Living with the Land holiday overlay called "Glimmering Greenhouses" (there was no way I was standing in line for 90 minutes to do this)...
So... yeah... best to begin the minute they start serving alcohol, get mixed drinks so you're not flooded with beer bloat, pace yourself with food, and drink some water along the way. Probably also best to drink around the world in the winter when you're not having to get toasted while in the middle of heat stroke and humidity.
It's 911. The world may be ending, but I'm not sending this blog with it just yet... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• IN THE NEWS: Historic lodge on Grand Canyon North Rim destroyed by wildfire. This is awful. I've never stayed at the Grand Canyon Lodge because it was way out of my price range, but I've eaten dinner there with my mom and it's a wonderful place. Or was...
Image from a news story taken from somewhere on Twitter
The world being both figuratively and literally on fire is really starting to wear on people. Starting with me.
• IN THE NEWS: 1 person dies of the plague in northern Arizona. And guess what? The current administration is GUTTING our research and defense against shit like this. All so he can give billionaires more tax cuts while the country goes trillions more into debt. The rest of us just get to die of the plague, I guess.
• IN THE NEWS: Mexican volunteers rushed in to help after floods in Texas. Some want to continue recovery efforts. "Oscar Morales is part of the volunteer-led recovery team International Tlatelolco Azteca Rescue Brigade, which was created after the 1985 earthquake that left thousands dead in Mexico City. The group is better known as 'Los Topos,' which translates to 'the moles,' because members search for victims after natural disasters. But the part of the above story which is adding a new level of horrible to an already horrific situation? On social media, Gov. Greg Abbott has thanked almost a dozen states for sending help after the catastrophic floods, but he hasn't publicly mentioned the help of Mexican volunteers. Because of course not. And yet Mexico showed up anyway, even though they knew this would happen. And despite the fact that there could have been seriously harmful consequences for showing up to help a neighbor... like getting deported to a prison in El Salvador. I was holding my breath when I heard they came, just waiting for some stupid racist shit to go down, because that seems to be what this country is all about now.
• IN THE NEWS: From Mackintosh Braun on Instagram. "Our independent album The Sound was removed from all streaming and stores by TuneCore because Warner Sync UK Warner Music has claimed they own a song on the album. We made this record broke, sharing a studio apartment back in 2006. This is why the music industry is broken. They’ve effectively removed our music from existence for no reason… if you can write someone do it, no idea how to fix this." This is horrible, but so typical of the abuse which huge companies can unleash whenever they want, and rarely face consequences... even nearly 20 years later. This is an incredible debut album from MB (Macintosh Braun), one of my all-time favorite bands. I've been hoping for a new album for a decade now, but have taken consolation that their old albums are still out there to be enjoyed. Except when they're not.
• End of an Era! The Rivers of America has been removed from Walt Disney World's maps. That's where the new Cars attractions are going to go...
The Rivers of America in Disneyland is still there, so that's nice.
• PC Mini! If you're looking to kill some time and are mesmerized by electronics videos like I am, here's your next watch...
It's remarkable how much of the work is done by hand. I would have sworn that these would be 90% automated by machine. Also remarkable? How everything is being made to look like a Mac mini now, right down to the packaging.
• Hello Depression! Am I the only one who can no longer watch movies about the total fantasy of what this country could be without being filled with abject despair over how it is?
I just wanted a feel-good movie to play while I had a sandwich, so I put on Dave, which I normally love. Now it just makes me depressed.
And now we can continue with the ongoing nightmare of our existence.
Well then. Didn't have a new Defunctland video on my Bingo card.
The channel used to get new episodes fairly regularly. Then the videos started getting more complex and in-depth, which meant that they started taking longer and longer for Kevin to produce. But quality takes time (I'm still amazed by the Disney Channel Theme video from a couple years ago)...
Spoiler Alert: This is only Part One! No idea how long we'll have to wait for Part Two (or how many parts there will be), but animatronics is a fascinating topic, and I'll take as many parts as we can get.
More information out of Disney today over their Walt Disney World expansion plans to counter Universal Studios unleashing Epic Universe.
As had long-been surmised, they are indeed plowing under Muppet's Courtyard in Disney's Hollywood Studios to make room for the new Monstropolis "land" based on Monsters, Inc. There was always hope that Disney would find another place for their plans and preserve the last project Jim Henson personally worked on (MuppetVision 3d) but, alas, it was not to be. Apparently Disney is looking into options to preserve the film, but the film doesn't work without the theater so I have no idea how they're going to do that.
As a consolation prize, Aerosmith's Rockin' Roller Coaster is going to transition into Muppet's Rockin' Roller Coaster which leads to an entirely new group of questions...
© Disney
Primary of which is this... you're putting The Muppets on a rather intense roller coaster? Aren't kids going to want to ride that? Won't they be shocked to discover that Kermit and Miss Piggy aren't promoting a kid-friendly attraction? Will parents even be warned that this isn't a kiddie coaster? No idea. I also question The Muppets being next to Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, but they had Lightning McQueen's Racing Academy next door for years, so who knows? Apparently theming has gone out the window at the Disney parks. Except to say that the new Disney Villains that replaced the Cars show isn't quite so bad a fit.
But back to Monstropolis which, admittedly, looks very cool...
© Disney
Back when speculation was running hot that Muppet's Courtyard wasn't long for this world, I was perplexed as to why they didn't come up with a new Star Wars Original Trilogy ride to sit between Star Wars: Star Tours and Galaxy's Edge (AKA "Star Wars Land")...
Map and Satellite Image © Google
I understand wanting to keep Galaxy's Edge an immersive experience, but come on... you could have a new Star Wars ride to link them together at least. Then put Monstropolis in the parking lot back there...
Map and Satellite Image © Google
It's getting increasingly disappointing how Disney doesn't seem to give a shit about their parks telling a story and being consistent in their theming. They could have bit the bullet and put Monstropolis above Toy Story Land so that the Pixar stuff was together, but no. They could have put a new Muppets attraction in the Lightning McQueen's Racing Academy building and built a new Muppets area around the re-theme of Rockin' Roller Coaster , but no. They could have saved the Disney Villains stage show for the new Disney Villains Land, but no. They could have made even a tiny effort to bridge the two Star Wars areas, but no. There's absolutely zero shits given about maintaining any illusions of immersion. It's just shoe-horn shit in anywhere you want so long as it's got Disney Intellectual Property slapped on it and who gives a fuck?
There are so many things that I think would disappoint Walt Disney about the way his vision for Disney World have been laid to waste. He wanted the parks to keep growing and changing so they were always relevant and reflecting emerging technologies. But there's a way to do that and preserve the idea that you're escaping into other worlds and not just visiting attractions in a theme park.
Disney Parks has so badly lost their way, and these new projects will be a point of no return for the idealogy that's made them so good for so long. Sure they're going to have some killer rides... but that isn't always everything.
For two decades my work took me to Orlando. The first six years were for a side-hustle doing contract work. The remaining fourteen were doing volunteer work with an organization that I fell into while working my side-hustle.
During that time I spent a lot of time at the Walt Disney World Resort. So much time that I grew tired of goofing around in the parks, and usually only went to Epcot to eat because I loved the restaurants and they were an easy bus-ride from whatever Disney hotel I was staying at. The biggest exception being when my mom wanted to go with me for something to do, usually around Christmastime. There were other times that co-workers would convince me to brave the crowds and ride the attractions, but it was increasingly rare up to when I stopped going in 2019.
I've always loved the Disney parks, ever since my parents took a side-trip to Disneyland when I was a kid. But what I loved more then experiencing the parks was the imagineering design behind the parks. Over the years I've bought loads of books and watched all the documentaries and commentaries I could find about building Disneyland and the other resorts around the world.
For the longest time, Disney imagineers put a huge amount of thought into what they were creating. Above everything else in their work, it was the story the governed every decision they made. There was a reason for everything they did, and even the smallest details are sweated over.
Now-a-days, Disney management doesn't seem to give a shit. Story? Who cares! Just slap intellectual property on everything and call it good! Doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense that Mickey Mouse is being injected into the attraction, just fucking do it!
And here we are, losing one of the most well-storied areas of Walt Disney World: Dinoland U.S.A. in Animal Kingdom. The story of which has been well documented by the guy over at Poseidon Entertainment...
I knew about the very cool story of Dinoland U.S.A. because I bought the Animal Kingdom "Making Of" book on one of my earliest Orlando work trips. That was probably four to five months after the park opened, and the story of the land was still important...
Now, of course, the idea of "story" at the parks is fairly antiquated. Which is a shame. It sure adds a lot of depth to the park.
I guess it was good while it lasted.
Now everybody is going to have to go to Universal Studios, I guess.
I used to go to Orlando 3 or 4 times a year for work, so it was inevitable that I would get caught in a hurricane at some point. And I did twice. Although since Orlando is so far inland, a hurricane there is not the same as it is when you're on the coast. It's heavy rains and strong winds while life goes on (mostly) as usual.
Except when it doesn't.
Your flight might get delayed or canceled (but that's always a possibility... hurricane or no hurricane). Maybe places will close early because they know people likely won't be wanting to go out in the weather. Or maybe plans will have to be changed for one reason or another. But it's rarely something serious.
Except when it is.
For one of the hurricanes I was in town, Walt Disney World actually closed. Which almost never happens because Disney loves money, and shuttering the parks for even a day costs them millions. This past Thursday when Hurricane Milton was battering Florida, I thought to look at the Disney app (which is still on my phone) only to see this...
Walt Disney World is open 365 days a year, so seeing everything closed tells you how serious they were viewing the situation. A quick Google search reveals that Walt Disney World has only been closed 11 times since they opened in 1971, which really drives it home.
You'd think that people would appreciate how Disney is willing to shut down to keep people safe when things get serious, but not everybody feels that way. Some people were livid that Disney would dare ruin their vacation by closing. Never mind that a potentially deadly hurricane was poised to tear through the place, WHAT ABOUT MEEEEE?!?
The parks were open the following day (Friday) and no worse for wear, so all those people griping about their "ruined" vacation only lost one day.
When it comes to Milton, it's a miracle that things weren't much worse than they were. They were certainly projected to be. I was seriously wondering if Disney World was going to be trashed or at least seriously damaged. But it wasn't, and Mickey Mouse lives to take our money another day.
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