The last time I had Amazon Prime, I called and canceled because they suddenly stopped delivering items in two days as promised. It was a stupid ordeal to go through, but I wasn't getting what I had paid for... and still had months left in my annual plan.
Then a few months ago I bought a month of Prime to catch up on their movies and shows I had missed. I was shockled to find out that they were once again offering two days delivery on purchases! How handy! And so I paid for an annual membership again.
And ended up getting fucked again.
After getting 2-Day delivery with no problems for months, all of a sudden they stopped delivering in two days again.
So I called to cancel and get my money back.
Again.
And had to go through the same stupid shit all over. Again. They transfer me around. They tried to convince me that it's not two day delivery, it's two days from when it ships (THEN WHY ARE YOU WAITING FIVE DAYS TO SHIP STUFF? WHAT HAPPENED? YOU SHIPPED SAME DAY JUST LAST WEEK!). And of course it still very clearly says two day delivery on their website.
So what the fuck?
Why does it exist for months, then all of a sudden stop existing?
As a last ditch effort to keep me from canceling, the service agent felt the need to inform me that I had been enjoying free Prime shipping on 98 items that I had ordered.
"YES. AND I RECEIVED ALL 98 OF THOSE ITEMS IN TWO DAYS, NOT SEVEN TO TEN DAYS LIKE WHAT YOU'RE GIVING ME NOW!"
I guess I will never learn.
But I honestly thought that Amazon opening a new shipping hub to the east of me when I already had a hub to the west of me was the reason they got back on track.
But nope.
I guess Jeff Bezos needed another fucking yacht, or whatever, so they had to cut costs by lying about the service they promise when you buy a membership. Which makes about as much sense as anything.
I don't usually feature other people's content... it's a rare event. But I saw this tweet being shared and love it so much that I couldn't help myself.
Courtesy of @Micahs_Nice and @EmmieAward19 comes the ULTIMATE. BRO. SLEEPOVER! Which should totally be a normal event that happens all the time!
My first thought?
"Sounds epic! UNTIL HE FINDS OUT THAT HIS WOMAN IS USING THIS AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO GO BACK TO HER SMALL HOMETOWN TO VISIT HER PARENTS... AND HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH ANOTHER DUDE! DON'T DO IT, BRO! SHE'S CHEATING ON YOU!!! DON'T YOU WATCH ANY HALLMARK MOVIES?!?"
I'm terrible.
But not without reason...
The company "Humane" dropped their little AI Pin gadget, and the reviews have not been kind. It would seem that on top of all the things I questioned about the device, there were scores of other problems as well. This doesn't surprise me, because the thing just didn't make any sense to me. The real surprise would have been if it had been a smash hit and truly revolutionary device.
One of the people who chimed in on the fiasco was my favorite tech reviewer, Marques Brownlee...
And can you guess what's happening now?
Stories are running about how Marques is killing Humane with his review. Business Insider, for example, had this headline: Humane's AI Pin got trashed by a YouTuber, and it sparked a firestorm over whether that's fair.
“Is it fair?!?” Are you fucking kidding me? Humane releases a shit product. Marques Brownlee, one of the most respected and fair tech reviewers on the planet, tells people it’s a shit product... and he's the bad guy in this scenario? It’s his fault the company is in the dumpster? Bullshit. This is 100% on Humane.
Marques was then put in the weird position of having to explain what his job is to a bunch of people who already know what his job is...
This in turn got him another round of criticism (some, for exmaple, were saying that he's a Tesla fanboy who gushes over their faults because he wants to be pals with Elon Musk, or whatever) at which point you have to wonder if people understand that there are going to be people who like the things you don't like, and Marques has precious little to gain by releasing positive reviews of anything out of Tesla.
He was also called out for having sponsorships on his channel, and then got dragged because of some of the companies he's partnered with. But this rings hollow as well. If I had to pick a brand that Marques is most closely aligned to when it comes to sponsorships, it would be dbrand. But fairly recently MKHD shined a light on dbrand when they made a racist remark to a customer who had a complaint...
Won't be working with dbrand until that original tweet is deleted, at least. You're allowed to make shitty jokes, but the internet has made it pretty clear what it think about this one, and the harm from it is unnecessary
So, yeah, it's not like Marques puts doing what's right below the money he gets from sponsorship deals. He was ready to walk away from one of his most lucrative sponsorship partners than be associated with something shitty they did.
And speaking of shitty...
Don't want bad reviews? Don't release shitty products.
Most all digital ads (certainly from those who sell ads as a business model like Facebook and Google) are using targeted ads exclusively now-a-days.
Which is to say that companies like Google and Facebook are tracking every site you visit and noting every link you click on across the entire internet. That way they can track your interests and needs and serve ads to you which have a better chance of triggering engagement. Companies pay them more money when people click on their ads, so it's a powerful motivator to make sure that every ad is as relevant as possible.
There are times that it most definitely backfires though.
Yesterday morning Facebook started serving up ads for Botox. Yes, Botox. That expensive stuff that causes temporary paralysis that people shoot into wrinkles and stuff in order to diminish them for a few months...
I have never in my life considered getting botulism injected into my face, so I was at a complete loss to understand why I was seeing these ads. Is it just because I'm now at an age where people start getting Botox? Did I click on something that convinced Facebook that I would be interested in getting Botox? Is Facebook watching me?!? Is the Facebook algorithm in the room with me right now looking at my face and thinking "Yeah, it's time for Botox now. Serve 'em up!"
The only thing I can think of is that I did click on two news stories warning people about home-brew "Botox" causing a botulism symptoms: Back Alley Botox a Bad Idea, Officials Warn... and Sketchy Botox Shots Spark Multistate Outbreak of Botulism-Like Condition. I guess that was enough for Facebook to think "Oh yeah. My guy is definitely wanting to get Botoxed! He clicked on two links with "Botox" in the headline, so what else could it be?"
After I ignored the ads, Facebook started getting serious. Because last night they started shoving ads at me that offered $50 OFF a treatment...
And then, when I started hiding ads for Botox, I started getting ads for the competition. Like this one from Juvéderm (which, thanks to the accent on the "e" there must be pronounced "Joo-Vay-Derm," not "Joo-Veh-Derm" as I would have thought, since it's clearly a riff on the word "rejuvenate" and stuff?)...
Interesting to note that these ads are definitely targeting me. Every ad I see with a person in it has a man. No women. As if to say "We know you want Botox, buddy, and it's totally a thing that men do... just look at the dudes in these ads!"
But the really interesting thing is that none of these dudes actually need Botox. They're all young, handsome, and flawless. But why? I guess it's a smart marketing tool. It's like "Holy shit! If these god-like men need Botox... then you must *really* need it, right?? DO IT! DO IT NOW! MAKE AN APPOINTMENT TODAY TO HAVE OUR SHIT INJECTED IN YOUR MANLY FACE AND SAVE $50! — IT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO TO SAVE SOCIETY FROM HAVING TO LOOK AT YOUR HEINOUS MUG! — PLUS... THE LADIES WILL TOTALLY LOVE THE NEW BOTOX YOU, SO IF YOU TAKE AWAY ONE THING FROM THIS AD, LET IT BE THIS:
Sadly, no amount of Botox will save my face, even if I could afford it.
I actually would like a nice case of botulism though. You get to stay home from work for that, right?
Every once in a while I find a comic that I didn't write that I share here. It's rare, but if somebody has made me really laugh, then promoting their work is the absolute least I can do.
This particular strip is from Prolific Pen (Instagram: ProlificPenComics) by Yanni Davros, who says "My parents wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer but instead they got a cartoonist." This one's absolute gold...
IF. ONLY. Though there are plenty of other groups I'd love to give a one-way-ticket to deep space, flerfers are certainly on that list.
There's a quote that I often see attributed to legendary comedian Robin Williams, but it was only popularized by him. It originated elsewhere... "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." I may have even attributed the quote to him wrongly in the past, because when I first fell in love with it, that's how I found it.
But one day I read a story about how it was most likely coined by U.S. Army Spc. Douglas Green, who sadly died two weeks after sending it in a letter to his loved ones. Here's an excerpt, which should be required reading by humans everywhere...
"If I could leave you with any words of wisdom it would be two things that I have always tried to live my life by.
Make sure you always put yourself in the position of anyone you ever have contact with. You will never truly know a man or woman until you try to see things from their perspective.
Secondly, never pass judgment or put anger on someone too quickly or harshly, because I guarantee you that person is fighting a battle that you know nothing about."
He's not wrong.
The problem is that not enough people agree with me on that.
People do not give a fuck about seeing things from other people's perspective. And they absolutely don't give a fuck about caring whether or not somebody is struggling.
But that doesn't stop them from sharing a misattributed quote to convince themselves that they do.
Last Monday I ran across an Instagram video from The Kangaroo Sanctuary with an adorable baby roo hopping into a makeshift "pouch." Since then the algorithm has determined that my feed should be flooded by all kinds of baby animals. And a lot of those are other videos from The Kangaroo Sanctuary.
Like this one of last week's little girl, Pippa, learning how to hop...
And this one of baby kangaroos at feeding time...
I really wish I had known about this sanctuary when I was at Uluru. Though I did visit a Koala sancturary in Brisbane where they had all kinds of animals. Including kangaroos...
Feeding a kangaroo. They're amazingly polite about it.
A momma kangaroo with a joey in the pocket!
Joey on the lookout.
I CAN HAZ CRUNCHY FOOD PELLETS? NOM! NOM! NOM!
And that's enough kangaroos for the morning since I need to head into the office. Another exciting day at work awaits!
I really don't want to be on the internet today.
I got a pretty good night's sleep. Woke up to answer my emails then feed my cats. Then climbed on social media until I had a video chat scheduled. Almost immediately I saw racist comments on a video that was not in English complaining about how the content creator should be "speaking English if she wants an audience"... and I was done.
The woman in the video actually speaks English very well. But she is more comfortable in her native language, so 3/4 of her videos are in Spanish. And it's not like YouTube doesn't have the ability to automatically display translated subtitles into whatever language you want, so what does it even matter? I guess reading subtitles is just too much for people.
Especially those who think that everybody everywhere should be speaking English all the time.
Which reminded me of when I was on one of the first cruises with my mom. One of the waiters at our table had a nametage saying he was from the Phillipines. I had a very, very rudimentary grasp of some phrases in Tagalog and, as he was clearing my dinner plate, I said "Maraming salamat," or "Thank you very much."
The waiter froze.
My first thought was that I mangled it so badly that I had accidentally said something deeply offensive. So I immediately apologized and said I didn't know much Tagalog.
That's when he told me "You said it very well. I am just not used to hearing Filipino* above deck." At which point he told me that employees are only allowed to speak English in front of passengers because otherwise they get complaints that the workers are "talking about them" and "being rude."
And, it's like... I get it. Despite the fact that the USA doesn't have a "national language" there are numerous examples of foreign language speakers being told "Speak American... you're in American now!" **
But no, actually I don't really get it at all. ***
Americans travel abroad expecting everybody to speak English and not bothering to learn even a few niceties in the language of the country they're visiting, but of course that's perfectly okay. — But anyway... if the workers aren't talking to you, why the fuck shouldn't they be able to talk to each other in whatever language is comfortable to them?
Because Americans might conjure up some imagined slight?
Yeah, that's 1000% on-brand for us.
Something which was reaffirmed on a video I watched this morning.
*Tagalog being the root language of standardized Filipino.
**Yes, I just quoted a line from the Bette Midler & Lily Tomlin comedy Big Business.
***One of my dream scnearios has always been somebody telling me to "Speak American" when I'm speaking some other language so I can say "Fuck off, asshole! Is that American enough for you?
I think I've written a few times about my love for the Yes Theory YouTube channel.
I can't remember where I first heard of it. In all likelihood somebody via the internet... probably even a total stranger... who contacted me through this blog. They see that I loved traveling the world and meeting new people and discovering new things and said something like "You should really check out Yes Theory on YouTube". And so I did. This was many years ago, and I've watched everything they've ever released.
And the members of Yes Theory have meant the world to me. Because they don't just want you to watch, they invite you into their lives and you get to experience everything with them. It hasn't always been an easy road, and there have been many changes over the years.
Which is why this reunion video is so incredibly special to me...
The way Yes Theory looks at the world is how I want the world to be.
I cannot wait to see what happens next.
And if you're looking for a massive dose of positivity in your life, I highly recommend checking out their channel. But be forewarned... if you are remotely human, those videos are addictive. You cannot watch just one.
Oh boy.
Here is the photo...
Long time Blogography readers might recognize this as a still from a video I made fifteen years ago for a video edition of "Bullet Sunday"...
But anyway...
I've started increasingly commenting on posts that are racist, bigoted, antisemitic, hateful, or stupid. The reaction is mostly what you'd expect. And I'm used to the hate... this is not my first time on the internet. But now the comments are all about my profile pic, not my comment. I have been called absolutely every name you can imagine. Because I'm wearing black makeup. For Halloween.
This is weird to me because I don't think much about my appearance (which should be obvious to anybody who meets me). The idea of having perfectly matching clothes or dressing in the latest style or looking "cool" or whatever just doesn't interest me. Except when it comes to Halloween, apparently.
I'm fascinated how people don't bother to make an actual argument about what I've said now. They don't like what I'm saying and how I look in my profile pic, but it's how I look that's what they choose to comment on. Which just reinforces the fact that ignorant assholes are ultimately bullies above everything else. Hating people for how they look or how they choose to dress is their priority.
I am trying to be unshocked, but this is not remotely surprising. It's the easiest shot to take, because forming an argument in support of your opinion is hard. And the easy shot is all they know.
Not that I really care. Goth Dave is the hottest Dave.
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