Yesterday the cats' feeders went off for lunch while I was meal-prepping ingredients for veggie wraps. Jake was all over his food but Jenny was nowhere to be found. I called to her, but she never showed up. So rather than having Jake scarf her food as well, I took the bowl out and sat it on the counter.

Then, as I was dicing tomatoes, I heard this howling that sounded like it was made by an animal on a vibrating bed. I looked down to tell Jake that he already had his lunch and he can't have his sister's too... but it WAS his sister! Jenny was howling, but apparently she was so furious that her lunch was gone that she was shaking. Or something. I honestly don't know what her deal was.

So I was like "Alight, ALRIGHT! I'm getting it!" and she started chowing down.

At this point I'm convinced that my cats really do see themselves as kittens and me as their cat dad. Because they act like spoiled little brats who just start complaining and crying and howling the second that something doesn't go their way. And it's getting worse all the time. Jenny has gotten frustrated and cried before, but it was nothing like what's going on now.

And just look at this shit...

There I was on a Zoom meeting, petting Jake all the while. All of a sudden I feel him flop on my hand and there it is... HE'S FALLEN ASLEEP ON MY HAND! Doesn't give a single shit about it. What's weirder is that one of his eyes was still kind of open, which lead me to believe that he might actually be faking it because he wanted to lay on my hand. That's totally something my cats would do.

The little bastards.

My cats have been even more lazy than usual today and I'm following their lead. Instead of cleaning the house, doing laundry, and taking care of all the boring and mundane human crap that I should be doing... I'm laying in bed and scrolling through the internet.

Which, as you probably realize, is mostly cat videos and cat content.

I saw this post from last August and it couldn't be more authentic cat...

   
This one killed me. Be sure to watch with the sound on because the hilarity is worth the effort...

   
I'd gladly go to Starbucks for a pup cup for my cats if it would make them like riding in the car. Just listen to this cat...

   
And now, this...

   
I'll stop there because I could drop dozens and dozens of other things that have been inundating my personal time lately.

And you, if you'll excuse me, I'm scrubbing the cat feeding station, cleaning the water fountains, filling the Litter-Robots, washing the kitty warming pad covers, and doing all the other cat-maintenance chores that Jake and Jenny demand of me.

I had a huge list of chores I needed to get done today, but have been so exhausted from lack of sleep that I didn't really have the energy to do any of it.

So what did I do instead of working around the house? I sat on the couch and veged out in front of the television. I was hoping that would lead to me falling asleep and getting a nap, but that wasn't to be.

The good news is that I had company. I looked up and saw Jenny staring at me from the table...

And next thing I know, I have a television buddy snuggled up next to me...

Which, let's face it, is a lot better than sleep anyway.

I feed my cats small meals throughout the day. For breakfast and dinner their meal is split between wet and dry food. The dry is always the same... the pricey "urinary care" food I buy so Jake hopefully doesn't end up with problems peeing again. The wet food varies. I like to give them different foods so they don't get bored. Jenny will not bite or chew anything wet. She'll only lick it. So I buy a lot of "broths" and "soups" and "purées" and such that don't require me to mix waters into her dish.

The wet food that seems to go over the best is "Lil' Soups" by Friskies. I rotate through all the flavors they offer, and the cats love them. I started buying them by the case to save money.

And you know what happened next.

Jake, all of a sudden, has decided he doesn't like the chicken version. A flavor I was surprised that Jenny would eat in the first place because she needs stronger-smelling foods to recognize them as food. No idea what happened. Jenny is still yumming it up, Jake won't touch it.

Tonight I thought I'd make it more appealing for Jake by sprinkling some dried fish flakes on it.

He still wouldn't touch it.

But Jenny did. She blew through hers then waltzed right over and ate his too.

I figured that this wasn't the worst thing in the world since Jake could stand to lose a few pounds, but nothing prepared me for what happened after dinner was over and the dry food had been eaten. Jake was laying on the table next to the auto-feeders so he could be nearby when their 9:00pm snack dropped.

He's never done that before, and I felt awful.

So I snuck him a treat to tide him over for the next three hours.

And now I've got a case-and-a-half of Lil' Soups chicken to get rid of.

Weekdays are packed with work at my job... weekends are packed with work at my home. And I'm overwhelmed with stuff to do at both, so I'm having to pick between blogging or napping. Lucky you...

Yesterday I sat down to work and it took all of ten seconds before Jake decided to crawl on top of me. Of course he never wants to sit on my lap when I'm just watching television. Only when I have something important to do...

But it's not like I can ever refuse my cats anything, so I let him fall asleep while I continued my Quentin Tarantino marathon.

Not that Jenny is innocent when it comes to demanding my attention. Both of my cats are demanding attention lately...

Oh well. Who needs sleep?

I don't know about y'all, but the height of anxiety for me is giving my cats a new brand of cat food. The odds are 50/50 that one or both of them won't like it. THEN... once I confirm that they both like it, the odds are then an additional 50/50 that they will stop liking it the minute I order a case of it. Fortunately there' little sample packs you can get for foods that cost a little more, but at least I'm not paying lots of money for food only to have it end up at the shelter.

Jake has turned into a total lap-cat.

The minute I sit down he's all over me. Not for hours, mind you... but he'll lay there to get petted for a good 20 minutes. Sometimes less if if not paying him enough attention...

To give Jake something to do while he's on my lap, I found a bird video made for cats on YouTube...

And he was 100% invested from the minute it started...

Jenny is not a lap cat at all. But she'll still sit next to me and insist on attention just the same...

To each their own. Even for cats, I guess.

My cats are fairly well-behaved. They scratch where they're supposed to (scratching posts, not furniture), they (mostly) stay off the counters, they (mostly) don't puke all over the place, and they (generally) don't give me any grief. They have gotten considerably more clingy as they age, but that's not a bad thing.

Jenny wants attention on her terms. Pet her when she wants you to, where she wants you to, and how she wants you to.

Jake, on the other hand, wants attention. Period.

When I get home from work, he comes running to get petted. When I sit down, he comes running to sit on my lap. When I sleep, he usually sleeps on the bed somewhere with me (Jenny will scamper away once I turn off the lights). He's not annoying about it... he leaves me after he's reached his limit... but he's persistent.

As I've mentioned many times, Jenny loves television. Jake has zero interest.

But before I left for vacation, I did run a "video for cats" on YouTube that had a non-stop parade of birds eating seed off a picnic table. Jake was on my lap and I thought he might find it entertaining...

The stereo sound on my laptop confused him because he kept looking around, but once he figured things out... he was completely obsessed...

Still from the video 8 Hour Birds Bonanza

The video goes on for 8 hours. Jake was good for about 15 minutes.

Maybe if they had included some lizards or something he could have made it to 20.

For the most part, my cats leave me alone while I'm sleeping. I've left my bedroom security camera on a couple times to see if my cats wander in at night, and they definitely do. But if they see I'm sleeping, they turn around and leave. Especially Jake. Jenny will sometimes wake me up, but when I investigate on the downstairs cameras I find that it's because Jake has taken her spot on a warming pad... or he's sat on her... or she's had a bad dream (this has always happened since I first brought her home, and she will start kicking so hard that she'll waker herself up and be upset) or whatever.

But when I'm awake? Yeah, they are going to want attention.

Usually, Jenny is first to hop on the bed in the morning. But today it was Jake, and Jenny came later...

At which point Jake promptly stood up, then hacked up a hairball all over the blankets, then looked at me like it was my fault. After carefully stripping the bed so the cats could get out of the way, they both fell asleep...

After checking my email and all that, I went downstairs to work on the couch so I could watch television. Jake followed me so he could lay across my legs...

Fortunately he didn't puke up a hairball on me.

Yet.

Tonight I'm packing for a trip over the mountains tomorrow.

Of course the cats know what's happening. The minute they hear the suitcase rolling out of the closet they know. And they're all over me wanting attention, which I'm guessing is a way to keep me from packing so I don't leave. Or maybe they just realize that the automated cat feeders can't dispense wet food, so they're upset that I won't be here to give them the good stuff?

Either way, I will miss the knuckleheads while I'm away.

On Friday morning I drove over the mountains.

On Thursday I had to pack. And deal with my cats, who do not like the idea of me leaving. At all.

When I woke up in the morning and rolled my suitcase into the room, my cats were riveted to my activities. When I looked on the bed, there they were staring at me...

Jake, as usual, was on top of me when I got back from work. Sometimes literally. As you can see here when he was playing "foot warmer" and fell asleep on me...

And so now I'm feeling bad that my cats are back home wondering where I am.

Or taking a dump in my shoes.

One of those things.

Before I get to it... this Facebook video of a cat getting its butt wiped at a cat show is about as cat as it get.

Most every morning I have some kind of video conference call. Jenny avoids them like the plague. At most she will go running behind my desk at top speed to get back to my bedroom. Jake, on the other hand, is one of those cats that end up in viral TikTok videos because he has absolutely zero problem asking for attention during a call. He will walk across the desk and put his butt in my face. He will flick his tail while walking back-and-forth. And he will sometimes start squawking because he's still hungry after breakfast.

But most of the time?

He just sits on the shelf I built on top of the stairwell (the one I made after Jake had fallen off and hurt his foot) and... stares at me.

Sometimes in a more entertaining way than others...

The reason I have this photo is because I took it in order to show it to the other person on my call.

I fully realize that the crazy things my cats do sound unbelievable, so I always make sure I have the receipts.

As I'm writing this, my cats have once again taken over the bed. I have about 1/4 at the very edge. I took a photo before Jake spread himself out to full length and kept pushing on my right leg until I moved it...

15 minutes later, the automated feeders triggered to dispense their 9:00pm snack and the bed was mine again.

For a while, anyway.

As I mentioned a bunch of Caturdays ago, Jake has been acting like he's got a bit of arthritis or something that has him looking like he's having a tougher time moving around. I'll be discussing it with his vet, but in the meanwhile I'm building some things to help him out. Now that Spring is here, I can park outside and set up my garage wood shop.

I'm starting with stairs. The first of which will be to get up to my bed so he might have an easier time getting in and out. I've already built the stair frames and painted them. All that's left is to add the steps and screw in the rubber feet...

After this I've got a long list of "Cat Accessibility Measures" that I'll be working on. Mostly constructing small staircases for places that Jake likes to frequent. Like my desk, the stairwell shelf I built, and small storage room that he and Jenny hide in when people are here.

I am not, however, building stairs up to the kitchen counters. That can stay off-limits.

A couple nights ago I was laying in bed working while Jenny was sitting next to me watching television.

Jake hopped up on the bed. And looked confused for a second. He just stood there staring at us.

Eventually he walked to the other side where Jenny way laying, sat down against her like she was a back-stop, then started cleaning his butt. Jenny, like the trooper she is, seemed unbothered and just kept laying there watching TV. I was worried if I reached for my phone to get a photo that I might startle them, but nope...

Turns out he wasn't confused, he was just scoping out the best spot to do his business.

At least he wasn't leaning against me this time.

Fur everywhere is always a problem with my cats, but in Spring when they're shedding their winter coats in bulk, it's a serious issue from which I cannot escape.

Fortunately, for Jenny at least, the solution is to brush her with the Furminator®. This thing is remarkable for being to pull so much fur off a cat that you'll have enough to build a second cat. And Jenny loves the thing. She wants to be brushed down with it as rough as you dare go, and doesn't want you to stop. I think she'd be happy to be brushed until all her fur is gone.

Jake on the other hand? He hates the thing. Even the gentlest of brushing will have him snapping at me. And so I do the best I can to claw at him with my hands so I can get as much loose fur off of him as I can. Which isn't much. Which means there's Jake fur rolling around the house in all directions.

Oh well. 50/50 is better than nothing.

One thing my cats seem to enjoy equally well is chomping on my lettuce.

This past week I saw lettuce puked up in two places and went rushing to the security cameras to see which of the little monsters was responsible...

The answer may not surprise you.

It was both of them!

So I guess I have to move my vegetable & herb garden to the garage?

To decompress from the horrors of the day, I've been playing Torchlight II, which is one of my favorite Diablo video game clones.

On regular difficulty, my pet is an orange cat named Jenny, and she's just a normal companion that helps when she can...

When playing on casual difficulty (where I don't want to stress so much) my pet is a gray cat named Jake. Because it's so easy to play, I prefer to just use my abilities and not any spells, so I give all my spells to Jake.

And he's gone all psychotic. CONSTANTLY summoning zombies or skeleton archers to help with a fight, even if it's not needed. CONSTANTLY casting all kinds of spells just because he can, not because it's helping.

It's both funny and upsetting. All I can say from my experience is that I would never give a cat magic spells in Real Life.

This past Sunday I was sitting in the living room working while the television was on. I catch a blur in the catio, look ourside, and Jake is climbing towards the ceiling. Usually this means a bird is around, but it ended up being a bee.

I tapped the window and said "JAKE! JAKE... LEAVE THE BIG FUZZY BEE ALONE!"

Which got his attention...

The bee was oblivious and eventually flew out without becoming a chew toy for Jake...

Jenny hasn't been going out into the catio as often as she used to. She's far more interested in lounging on the couch.

Which would be fine except she like to have her feet held while she sleeps for some reason.

So there I was, rewatching Andor Season 02, Episode 03 to get ready for Episode 04, while composing an email when Jenny came up and plopped down next to me. She meowed to get my attention, and that went like this...

She always gets what she wants. Always.

Another cat-day, another Caturday.

As shown (again) last week, Jenny likes me to hold her feet when she sleeps. She pretty much insists on it. What's funny is when she falls asleep, then decides to stretch out...

You'd think that once she's no longer getting her feet held, she wouldn't mind me taking my my hand away. Oh hell no. She wakes up immediately and meows until I hold her feet again.

I was looking through Facebook Memories the other day and ran across this photo of Jake sitting as Jake does while cleaning his front paw...

I thought it was funny so I said "Hey! Jake!" so he'd look at me.

And boy did he...

I'm surprised that I didn't have my spleen cut out while I slept.

I was gone less than a week. Do you think when I walked through the door my cats acted like it was less than a week? Oh heck no. Jake wouldn't even let me set down my bags before crying to be petted.

And of course since it's prime shedding season, the house was covered in cat hair. Right now I'm vacuuming almost daily. And of course I wasn't here to Furminator the cats. Well, one of them anyway. Jake refuses to be Furminated, and will "bite" me if I attempt it... but, as I mentioned, Jenny loves it so much that she would happily let me brush all her hair off her body.

So when I called her to get brushed, she came running. Jake did too, but only to supervise...

And now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to terrorize my cats by firing up the vacuum cleaner. Again.

Leaving my cats for even a small amount of time is traumatic for all involved. I'm worrying about what's happening back home... my cats are wondering where I'm at... and Jake is wandering around crying while he looks for me. It's an ordeal.

I try to make things easier on them by having the television turn on and off... and making sure I leave my bed a mess so they can nest in the covers.

And of course I still check in on them via the security system. Make sure they're still eating and getting along okay. When I was on the plane I had nothing to do, so I decided to take a look. The camera in my room was off, so when I turned it back on I woke them up...

I was home four hours later, which made all of us happy.

And speaking of cats, this popped up and was an immediate hit with me...

My cats don't fight much. But it does happen. And when it does it often looks something like this.

Well... not much to say for this week's Caturday.

Because you have to have cats in order to have Caturday.

And my cats are out in the catio all the time now that I was forced to turn the air conditioning on because I can't handle my home being 80º inside...

And so... in lieu of Jake and Jenny news, I'm reproducing this comic from Reza Farazmand at Poorly Drawn Lines, which might as well be Jake and Jenny...

Any day now the cats will be staying inside because it's too hot outside. Then the catio will be a rare event (and mostly at night or the early morning) until Fall arrives.

My cats, both of whom love the heat, are obsessed with hanging out in the catio lately. Which means that activity going on out there doesn't get ignored as it usually does. On a near daily-basis I'm hearing some kind of commotion out there.

And out of all of it, this chipmunk caused the biggest reaction. But what's bizarre is how the chipmunk barely reacted to my cats going apeshit out there...

I love the way hi tail is so fluid.

But what I love most is how he stands up to look around. He's gone full-on meerkat here.

Jenny has night terrors from time to time. It's really tough to watch when I see it happening, and I never know the best course of action. Usually, I very carefully start petting her until she stops kicking and fighting... which works some of the time. Other times she wakes herself up during her nightmare and then is pretty upset with me.

This morning Jenny fell asleep next to me, started having night terrors about fifteen minutes later, so I petted her to calm her down... only for her to flip over and wrap around my arm. Progress? At least this time I didn't get attacked for scaring her!

Anyway...

Before it got too hot, I was outside kneeling in the dirt while working in my shrub beds. When the heat finally hit and I went back inside, Jake came up to me after. He started smelling my dirty knees and rolling around on me. Maybe I accidentally kneeled in catnip?

Makes me think that I need to plant some stuff in the catio for my cats to roll around in. I bought grass a while ago, but they didn't seem to be interested enough to make it worth the cost. Maybe I need different grass!

When I got home yesterday, this was me: "GAH! JENNNNNYYYY! STOP BRINGING CRICKETS INTO THE HOUSE!!!"

At which point Jake looks at me like I'm insane because Jenny is not even in the room. This is the second time this year. And I know it's Jenny because Jake only plays with the bugs. Jenny either eats them or brings them inside. They're her favorite thing, apparently.

Meanwhile Jake's favorite thing seems to be hacking up hairballs.

But let me backup a second... first I should say that I dumped some blankets from the dryer onto the couch last week, then ran outside to water flowers. When I came back inside Jake was laying in them. And he's been there very often ever since, so I've just left them there. Ironically, the whole reason I washed them in the first place was because they were covered in car hair...

AND THEN... this morning while I was working, I hear that unmistakable sound of a hairball being hacked up. I look over and there he is... puking one out on the blankets. So back they go into the wash. Again.

Which just means he's going to puke on them again the minute I put them back on the couch.

Every time Jake comes to me crying because Jenny has been chasing him, I always say "Well, what did you do to piss her off?" because I know that's exactly why she would end up chasing him. She doesn't randomly decide to antagonize her brother.

Last night while I was finishing up watching Dept. Q, Jenny was laying on the back of the smaller sofa. Jake, for reasons known only to himself, hopped up on the arm of the couch and then immediately swatted her. I guess he had seen her up on the sofa and decided he didn't like that?

Jenny has always been a little bit tempermental and demanding.

But it's her vindictive streak you have to watch out for.

As for Jake? He's definitely learning from her example, but is still mostly easy-going and chill about most every situation. The other day while I was on a Zoom call he wanted attention. I had to put him off until I was finished which would have enraged Jenny. But Jake just plopped down in my Buddha-Cat statue's lap and waited for me...

As I'm typing this he's out in the catio, where he spends most evenings now. It's warm enough to be comfy but not so insanely hot that he's uncomfortable wearing his fur coat.

As for Jenny?

After she cried and cried and cried for pets while I was loading the dishwasher, I relented and pet her until she was content to wander off and fall asleep on the cat tree. My little princess doesn't do the outdoors very often.

I prop my pillows upright so the cats don’t lay on them and get fur all over them. Jenny, bless her heart, HAS BEEN PULLING DOWN THE PILLOWS WITH HER CLAWS AND THEN LAYS ON THEM!!

Usually I have to look at the security cameras to see what happened. But this time the little scoundrel did it right in front of me...

Which is oh so typical of her.

She has absolutely no regard for rules. Well, neither of my cats do, but she's borderline contemptuous of rules.

Which is oh so typical of cats, really.

I may be laying here dying of a sunburn, but never you fear about this blog... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• The Life List! If you too are laying on the couch trying not to move so your sunburn won't give you grief and you're looking for a rom-com to watch, here you go...

Ever since I lost Hallmark Channel, my consumption of rom-coms has been dangerously low. Fortunately they are in endless supply.

   
• Melancholy! There's a new Google commercial showing how you can use your phone's camera to get help via a photo AI search. The song they have in the background is very clearly On Melancholy Hill by Gorillaz. Then, at the very end, the tune takes enough of a turn that you know it's not...

It's a bummer, because every time it comes on, I'm thinking that Google licensed the track from Damon Albarn, who has crafted some of my favorite music of all time (lead by Silent Running which remains one of the most achingly beautiful songs I've heard (link in comments).

   
• Correlation? And yet you see it on social media practically every day. Multiple times a day...

Which is bad enough, except you see it in the news as well. Politicians just love this shit.

   
• Cancelation Rage! One of my favorite shows of 2025 has been The Residence on Netflix. The character of Cordelia Cupp is amazing, the story they came up with for her is fantastic, and the mystery in the show is pretty great. Which is why I was hoping so badly we'd get a sequel. But of course Netflix canceled the show...

It's beyond frustrating that good shows get canceled before their time. And I guess I'll just add this to the pile of shows I'm mad about losing.

   
• Immortal Cat Tales! Matt Damon has more than a few stories which make me like him as a person. And here's one more...

Cats are such mythical creatures. Maybe that's what I like about them.

   
• NEWSFLASH: ‘Sinners’ on Max Will Include a Black American Sign Language Version. The fact that there is a laugh-react to this enrages me to the point of meltdown. Adding accessibility for a group of people DOES NOT TAKE ANYTHING AWAY FROM YOU. The Black Deaf Community has developed a language to better communicate their shared-experience. Everybody should be thrilled to know that HBO Max is putting in the work and money necessary to make sure that this masterpiece film has the best experience possible for everybody. But no. The fact that BASL is an option is somehow hilarious. Get fucked. Go back to your bigot bubble where absolutely everything is just designed exclusively for you and leave those who advocate for their inclusion alone.

   
• Make it Sparkle! LET'S GO TO THE MALL EVERYBODY!

I've been rewatching How I Met Your Mother, but the number of times I've watched this episode go way beyond the number of times I've watched the series.

   
And now back to nursing my sunburn.

I was gone two days on vacation and, just like when I'm gone for two weeks, Jake won't leave my side.

Every night I go to sleep and he's laying next to me, then when I wake up and he's still there. I don't know how he manages to get any sleep with all my tossing and turning, but it doesn't seem to discourage him. Of course even belly rubs only distract him for a second before he falls asleep again...

If only I could sleep like that.

For the longest time, Jake would be happy to take whatever attention he could get when I arrive home, then wander off when I have to leave him.

Not any more.

Now, if I leave before he's had enough pets, he follows me around the house squawking and crying until I pet him more.

Jenny, on the other hand, has the decency to wait until I get into bed before she starts crying for me to pet her...

Though she's not above crying if I don't feed her food she feels like eating, of course. Except I'm trying to not give in so easily now-a-days.

I swear my cats are getting worse with each passing day.

Jake and Jenny are now both wailing when something is upsetting them, knowing that I'll drop everything and come running. This past week Jenny wailed because Jake ate her food when she finally bothered to come downstairs for dinner... and Jake was wailing and wailing so strongly that I ran to find out if he was dying, but it turned out he wanted to be petted. Seriously. Just sauntered right up to me and started rubbing against my legs until I pet him.

Then today I heard wailing out in the catio. But when I looked it was just Jake saying hello to Fake Jake, who seems to be getting lighter and shrinking as Jake is expanding, which is to say there's no mistaking them for each other as I once had...

Of course Jenny experienced immediate FOMO and had to go rushing out to see what was up. At which point Fake Jake got bored and left...

Jenny hopped up on a shelf to see if she could could spot where he went. Jake, apparently blaming her for him losing his entertainment, was not thrilled with her...

Jenny, who is above such nonsense, just climbed up to the top shelf while Jake sat below sulking.

Until they heard the dinner alarm, at which point she ran inside while Jake sat in front of the cat door wailing again. I was going to go open the door to let him in, but only after I had put food out. Except that wasn't necessary. Since food is his biggest motivator, he ultimately decided that he'd let himself in.

I don't even want to think of the wailing which would ensue if he came in to find out that his sister had eaten his dinner.

And so... the cat fights continue.

I will be reading or working in bed, then hear hissing and howling and screaching coming from downstairs. Usually I just ignore it because it doesn't last long. But last night? Holy cats. I heard Jenny inside hissing and hissing and hissing while Jake was outside screeching. Meanwhile Fake Jake was standing there making cat fight yowls while actually not in a cat fight because there's a fence between them.

But anyway...

This is not Jenny.

But it might as well be her. Or Jake...

Rent means nothing to them. And why should it?

Yesterday was International Cat Day, which is hilarious because EVERY DAY IS INTERNATIONAL CAT DAY!

In other news... I believe that my cats have a longstanding agreement on dividing my time between them. Jenny mostly wants my attention at night when I head up to bed. Though I don't know why. Most of the time she doesn't care about being petted... she just wants me to act as a foot rest...

What's interesting is that if Jake is laying in bed next to me when Jenny comes in the room, he will most times hop off the bed and leave the room, at which point Jenny will take his place. Sometimes I've even seen Jenny come into my bedroom, see Jake is next to me on the bed, leave the room, then he'll jump down and follow her out, at which point she'll come back so she can lay next to me.

But every once in a while... like last night on International Cat Day... miracles do happen...

And after Jenny left do you think I got my arm back?

Jake's designated time with me is when I get home from work. He and Jenny both sleep on my bed when I'm gone... but Jake listens for the garage door to open, then hauls ass down to the bottom of the stairs where he waits for me to walk in so he can get petted.

Sometimes he's apparently too comfortable to come running to greet me, because he isn't waiting. I used to go upstairs to make sure he was okay because it was so unusual for him to be absent when I walked through the door, but it was always just him being lazy.

They do seem to take turns sitting with me on the couch, however.

Jake wants to sit on my lap and be petted. Jenny prefers to sit next to me and be petted.

The common denominator being that my cats always want to be petted, of course.

I am typing this will Jake on my chest. It's not going well. You'll have to forgive any misspellings.

So there was Jake... sticking his head in a bag. Again. I had my camera ready because I absolutely knew where this was headed...

But don't worry I reached over and pulled it off immediately after snapping the photo. I wanted a photo of Jake with Cheetos dust on his face, but he ran away in shame. And I'm like... I get it.

The guy never, ever learns. If I wasn't as careful as I am to pick the bags up, he'd do this once a week.

But before I go...

I saw this LEGO sculpture on social media and really wish I knew who to credit for it, because it's brilliant...

Apparently somebody needs to learn the importance of spaying or neutering your cat.

=sigh=

If you want to see a photo of me losing my mind... well, what little is left of my mind... here it is...

I had to come home to pick up something for work yesterday morning.

I see Jake laying on the cat tree so I say his name and ask him how his day has been. Nothing.

I say his name and talk to him a little louder. Nothing.

I go up to touch him. Nothing.

Now I'm in a blind panic, so I start shaking him... and... he finally moves, then wakes up and looks at me like I'm the asshole for waking him up. Then squawks. Then goes back to sleep.

Now, for context, both my cats are skittish enough that ANY sound will wake them up. Jake not waking up to look at me when I am saying his name and talking to him is unprecedented. Him not reacting when I touch him? Inconceivable (yes, that word means what I think it means).

And so... that was a flash-forward that had me shaking all day long.

Maybe this is just what happens when cats get older. Maybe Jake is losing his hearing. Maybe he's just decided "fuck it" I am not going to react to meet his expectations. I don't know. But it wrecked my day. And now my anxiety is at an all-time high when I didn't think it was possible for it to get any worse.

I mean, don't get me wrong... there's absolutely no scenario where I would trade the past 9-1/2 years of my life with these cats. They have literally saved my life. But now a part of me cannot help but wonder if they will be the death of me as well.

Jenny, as I have undoubtedly mentioned, is a fiendishly clever and intelligent cat. She's also unbelievably manipulative. Not just towards me, but her brother as well. Once or twice a week she does something which has me wondering if she's smarter than I am.*

Except... only in specific areas.

As an example: Jenny loves running up to bed with me so she can get some pets before turning in for the night. Me, not her. Because she would gladly be petted for six hours. But the minute I turn the lights off, she runs back downstairs to sleep. But anyway... She used to head up with me when I went upstairs. But sometimes I'd forget something or was just going up to get something and wasn't actually going to bed. So then she stopped going up with me until I would turn off the television. When that wasn't guaranteed, she would wait for me to call her to say I'm going to bed. When that wasn't guaranteed (I'm forgetful), she started waiting until I'm upstairs and have Siri turn off the downstairs (I tell Siri "goodnight" once I'm in bed for real, and everything outside my bedroom turns off).

On Tuesday night I got into bed and told Siri "goodnight," then Jenny came running up as usual. But I forgot to set out something I needed to remember to take to work, so I had to get out of bed to go back downstairs. Right after Jenny had jumped up to be petted.

She was furious. Started meowing her head off upstairs, because how dare I leave her there un-petted! Then, when I was taking too long, she came downstairs to get me. Meowing the entire time.

So I don't know what happens next. I guess I have to pinky-swear that I'm really going to bed and won't be leaving until morning or something.

So, yeah, she's smart.

And then...

Jenny sometimes wants to be petted while I'm on the couch... but doesn't want to sit next to me for whatever reason. So she'll sit all the way at the other end of the couch and meow in frustration at me because I'm not petting her. I reach out my hand to show her that I can't reach. But instead of realizing it, she'll lean her little head towards me like she can somehow bridge the 4-foot gap between us.

After five minutes of this nonsense, she begrudgingly got up and moved closer because she realized I wasn't moving. But she was angry about it. Wouldn't even look at me, no matter how much I talked to her...

"Just give me my damn belly rubs and shut up about it."

Now, there are other things that I honestly don't know whether she's smart about or not.

Like when she gets a drink.

Jenny refuses to drink from the cat fountain in the dining room. Maybe the moving water bothers her or something. So I ended up buying a still water dispenser for her. No big deal, right? Well, maybe. Because she will never just walk up and get a drink. There's a process. First she sits in front of the bowl and stares at it... waiting for it to move or something. Then she will dip her paw into it... making sure it's not going to move, I guess. Then she will taste it off her paw five or six times... to make sure it's not poisonous, perhaps. Then, and only then will she take a drink.

But here's the problem... she's so skittish that if I walk into the kitchen while she's drinking (or, more likely, preparing to drink) she will run off. This is bad news, because a hydrated cat is a healthy cat. And so, any time I get up to go into the kitchen and Jenny's not around, I will stand at the cat tree and look into the kitchen to see if I can proceed. If she's waiting for the water to attack her or in process of drinking, I will wait for her to finish before heading towards the kitchen!

If she's checking for poison? Smart. If she's worried that the water might be going to attack her after drinking from the same dish hundreds of times? Wellll...

   
* Yeah, I'm sure everybody reading this is thinking "Of course Jenny is smarter than you are." But I'm all... "Well, I don't see her able to earn a living or surf the internet, so how smart could she possibly be?"**

** Oh...

After taking yet another massive allergy pill so I could get a whole four hours sleep last night, I'm exhausted but recovering. My lungs don't feel itchy and I can eat real food.

But it's a different matter entirely for my cats. Who want to go out in the catio. Bad.

I keep showing Jake the air quality reading on my phone and telling him "It's too smokey for little kitty lungs outside!" But he sits there looking outside and crying because I've blocked the door to the catio...

It's particularly upsetting at night, because he sits there and howls because he can't get out. While I'm trying to wind down and rest. Fortunately I can call down to him and he'll come up and fall asleep next to me, because... yikes.

Jenny was upset at first, but resigned herself to the fact that she can't go out.

Which is good, because there's so much smoke out that you wouldn't know it's Summer. If not for the heat, you'd swear it was an overcast Winter day. And I really, really don't need my cats going in and out and brining smoke in with them.

In July they don't want to be outside in the heat very often any way. But September? Prime catio season...

Reeeeeeally hoping that this fire gets under control soon... but at over 9,000 acres and counting, it's not likely. Which means come Monday I'm going to have to leave my house for work and get sick, sick, sick again.

Which is nothing compared to the suffering by my cats not being able to go outside, of course (just ask them!).

The wildfire smoke may have me cowering in my home, but life goes on... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Imperial Forces! Well this is epic...

When I was sent this TikTok, I marveled at the fact that this cat even allows the helmet to be put on his head. My cats would run off the second I even got the helmet near their heads.

   
• Gadget Time! Speaking of 3D printing...

It's enough to make me want to buy a 3D printer, except I know I'd never be this clever. Here's another video by the same guy...

I mean, come on. All of these are genius.

   
• DIYphone! Speaking of 3D printing... this right here is one of the coolest things you'll see all day. Guy made his own phone with clicky keyboard. The patience required to work through all this is mind-boggling...

Brah. The fact that the result is so killer is just icing on the cake. Instant subscribe to Marcin Plaza's YouTube Channel, which is brilliant, clever, and funny. And worth your valuable time.

   
• Pi Times Two! Speaking of 3D printing... and now... this...

Now, I know this is nothing compared to the earliest days of computing where the components of the computers themselves had to be built... but, still... this kind of thing is pretty amazing. 3D printing is making it possible to do all kinds of cool stuff.

   
• Neat! I was given a link to this article: Obscure But Badass Folks You Should Know About, which is exactly what it claims to be. AND THEN... I fell down the very large rabbit hole that is Neatorama. You've been warned.

   
• More Mitchell! A while ago I shared a video of David Mitchell's rants from the brilliant Would I Lie To You. Well, here's more laugh out loud moments...

I swear, the Royal Wedding statement, which I've watched multiple times now... always, always gets me.

   
And now back to being a hermit.

I thought I would wake up in serious back pain after re-injuring it by trying to run my dishwasher.

But I didn't toss and turn in my sleep and woke up laying on my heating pad the same as I fell asleep. Now, granted, I only managed to sleep 4 hours and 10 minutes (according to my Apple Watch), but still... I was quite happy, because my back felt... fine?!? Last thing I remember my cats were both next to me, but only Jake remained when I woke up.

Well, fine enough that I didn't end up taking a muscle relaxer, but it was far from great. Though when I got home I vacuumed the floor without issue, so maybe resting over the weekend will heal me up that I can have a semi-normal week next week.

Now, I realize it's not Caturday until tomorrow, but I am compelled to share the photo I took before falling asleep yesterday. Jake is infamous for hopping on the bed where Jenny is sleeping and laying on top of her legs or her head or whatever. Except last night Jake lay down just next to her, and I was thrilled that he didn't disturb her spot since she was there first.

Then he started kicking his legs, waking her up (again), before he finally stuck one of his legs through hers. She was, as you'd imagine, thrilled...

Thank heavens I was looking at my phone at the time this happened. Usually I miss photos of moments like this.

But then she fell back asleep, so no harm no foul, I guess?

Until sometime in the middle of the night Jake did something to make her scamper off.

With the catio closed all week because of my wildfire smoke allergy, the cats have been depressed. Jenny hasn't been dealing with the situation well at all. Sure she doesn't sit in front of the cat door and cry like Jake. But she checks several times whether the door is open.

Just Jenny... contemplating her life choices that lead to the catio being closed for business...

As usual, there's almost zero chance of taking her photo without her noticing...

Jake has been frustrated indeed that stuff is going on outside the window and he can't go investigate...

He's mostly been sleeping. He can sleep for hours...

Then one day when I got home the smoke wasn't terrible. So I opened the catio door. Jenny went out for five minutes and came running back in. Jake waited a few more...

Oh well. I just had to close the cat door again the next morning.

More smoky days ahead, but it would seem I can still blog while being trapped indoors... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• AI is Still Shit: Part 1,683! Dang. Googling my own blog to find something... and seeing their AI summary at the top is scary as hell. "Gemini" is drawing some very good conclusions each time, but missing the point entirely on a lot of things I've posted. Sarcasm and humor are left out of the equation, which means what I was intending to convey is badly misrepresented. Kinda freaking me out that people will see what Google is telling them and think that's what I was saying. But that's AI for you. Anybody who trusts it entirely needs to drastically reevaluate what they're being told.

   
• Unboxed! Marques Brownlee will be reviewing all the new iPhones in short order, but I wanted to reiterate how gutted I am that we finally get a brightly-colored iPhone Pro the minute I decide I'm going to pass on upgrading. Just look at how awesome it looks...

Yeah... the orange color paired with the camera lenses being upgraded (not to mention the sensor) almost makes me want to upgrade. Almost.

   
• Jaws! My current mood...

Cats are fiesty, that's for sure.

   
• NEWSFLASH: Whey to go: Is cheese the new reason to travel? It always has been. Going to the Kaasmuseum (Dutch Cheese Museum in Alkmaar) became a life ambition the moment I found out it existed. That's why you always travel for cheese! Parmesan and mozzarella in Italy. Cheddar in England and Canada. Feta in Greece. Butterkässe in Germany. Pepper cheese in Australia. Camembert in France. Cotija and Queso Fresco, and Oaxaca in Mexico. Manchego in Spain. Queso Tico in Costa Rica. Provoleta in Argentina. Sakura in Japan. I didn't have a specific cheese in Korea that I can remember, but I DO remember their corn cheese! And of course ALL THE CHEESE IN THE NETHERLANDS! I don't eat so much cheese now, but I would still travel for cheese!

   
• Big! This really takes me back. The interesting thing to note here is that projection TV technology was shit back in the day. If you don't view it directly-head-on, you can't see the picture well at all. Viewing from off the side was impossible...

Of course now people are thrilled to have their entire living room taken over by a television. I know I am!

   
• NEWSFLASH: Child dies of horrifying measles complication in Los Angeles. Herd immunity is failing now that anti-vaxers have created the society they’ve been dreaming of. And the death toll is only going to rise. This is horribly sad. Herd immunity is critical for protecting people unable to be vaccinated... like babies. How the fuck did we get here?

   
And now back to our regularly-scheduled wildfire season.

I have completely given up trying to manage my cats.

They do whatever they want and I don't even bother trying to restrict their behavior because now that they're old and cranky (like me) they just don't care. About anything. Fortunately, there are some rules that have been in place since they were small so they don't misbehave because it's engrained into them. Things like scratching furniture or jumping up on the kitchen counters. Sometimes they "forget," but it's rare because they still remember aluminum foil covering the countertops and sticky tape on the furniture legs.

But then there's the dining table.

For whatever reason, they categorically refuse to stop jumping on top of it. No matter how many times I shoo them off, they will hop back on... sometimes minutes after they've been removed. No idea why this is one of those things that they're so intent on doing, but nothing seems to work that keeps them off.

So now I just put a towel on the table and that's that...

If I ever need to actually use the table, I still scrub it down with anti-bacterial scrub... but the fact that Jake and Jenny always stay on the towel when they're on the table is enough to keep me from losing my mind.

So I'm chalking this up as a win.

Even though everybody knows I'm taking the L here.

Now that it's not so hot out, the cats are loving being out in the catio all day. At least on the days that there's not so much wildfire smoke that I close the door because I'm concerned about their little kitty lungs.

In addition to being outside where they can look at the world, the main reason the catio is so appealing is that they get to visit with the other animals of the area. Mostly cats. An occasional dog. Sometimes a deer or a raccoon.

Right now Jake's favorite visitor is Rusty.

Rusty is actually a very sweet dog from next door that plays in the field behind my home. But she does not like cats. And if my cats are out there, she's perfectly happy to bark and howl at them. Something Jenny is terrified of and will run back inside immediately.

But Jake? Despite how loud and scary Rusty might be, he somehow finds the courage to confront her (in the second half of the video, you can see Jake swiping at her through the fence as she's reflected in the door window)...

And Jenny?

During one of the times Jake was outside hissing and swiping at Rusty, she was happy to just sit next to me on the couch and watch the madness from a safe distance...

My guess is that she's just not up for the drama.

There are many things frustrating about owning cats. But at the top of the list would be giving them a new food to try... having them absolutely love it... then, once you buy a case of it, they no longer want it. Second most frustrating is when they will eat a certain food for three years then all of a sudden decide they don't want it any more. A could go on. Most of my frustration with my cats are food-related.

Recently I ordered some of the #1 cat food as voted by veterinarians... Smalls

It arrived yesterday, so I served it for dinner.

Jake wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. I sprinkled some stinky dried fish flakes on top... he just licked it off and left the Smalls untouched.

Jenny was excited by the smell and started licking it up immediately. Except she couldn't lick it up because the strange grainy, dry texture just got flattened to the bottom of the bowl.

This morning I knew better than to force it on Jake, so I didn't even bother. I gave him something else. To help Jenny be able to get it into her mouth I mixed it with water so she could actually eat it. And eat it she did. I left them to their breakfast and went back to bed to read some emails.

After a bit I came back downstairs to the living room only to find puke all over the coffee table, the floor, on the side of the couch, and splashed on the side of the entertainment center. The color of the vomit made it very clear that Jenny was the culprit (victim?), because watered-down Smalls was everywhere.

Not that I cared about puke everywhere, that's just part of having cats. But I cared very much that poor Jenny had vomited repeatedly (or one long puke in five locations)...

And so... guess I'll be giving their Smalls to the neighbor cats and see if they handle it better.

Jake is so not bothered by most anything. Especially when it comes to the litter box. I have one downstairs in the hall closet and another upstairs in my bathroom. I can't tell you how many times I've been in the bathroom and Jake will come in and do his business without giving it another thought.

Jenny couldn't be more different.

She is bothered by just about everything. Especially when it comes to using the litter box.

I woke up early in the morning, stumbled to the bathroom, turned on the light... and... bedlam.

Jenny was in the litter box and went tearing out of it. Since I was in the doorway, she ran to the shower. I felt bad for disturbing her and got out of the doorway so she could run out. Which she did at top speed. Fortunately, she didn't stay mad at me long. An hour later and she was waking me up to be petted and have her feet held (don't worry, I wash my hands after because I know where those feet have been). But she wouldn't look at me...

Or she was bothered by the light out the window that was keeping her awake. Maybe that.

A couple weeks ago I ran down stairs while Jake was in the Litter-Robot (which is near the bottom the the stairs). Didn't phase him a bit. But afterwards, he did climb up on the cat tree and stare at me, like he was saying "What was that about? I WAS ON THE TOILET!"...

Though he did take the time to cover his waste first. That's something.

There have been a few heart-attack-inducing moments over the years when it comes to my cats.

The one which haunts me most is from 2017 when Jake escaped from the catio. The contractor who attached the roof used screws which were too short. It was made worse because I was flying out for work the next day. What if he had gotten out then?

So imagine my absolute terror when I looked out the window this week and saw that Jenny was looking at me from outside the catio.

Except it wasn't actually Jenny.

From the front, she (or more likely "he" since most orange cats are males) looked exactly like Jenny. It was a Jenny clone. From the side it's a little different story. Jenny has a whirl pattern and longer legs. Though the tail markings are the same...

I mean, just look at those gams...

And speaking of Jenny...

Early in the week, I decided to be a little late for work because Jenny had jumped on the bed for me to pet her, but twisted around to sit on my hand!

Apparently she was very comfortable, because she laid down and eventually fell asleep...

When I came home, Jenny didn't sleep on my hand while I was working on the couch, she instead rolled into the crack between the couch cushions and passed out...

Cats can sleep anywhere. But that doesn't mean they don't try and find the most comfortable place to sleep.

And now, this.

I saw this video of a cat bringing a mouse to get fried up, then being disappointed when it's removed...

I tried to find the original so I could use the video which originated it instead of somebody who stole it. Instead I found loads... loads... of AI slop videos which hasve been made. So now I'm questioning whether or not the one above is even real.

This morning I was awakened by Jake hacking up a hairball on the bed. He's been sleeping with me most every night, usually passing out at the blanket I have folded at the foot of the bed. All I could do was say "Good bear, you're puking on the bedding on bedding wash day!"

After wiping up the hairball and stripping the bed to toss everything in the washer, feeding the cats breakfast, and heading back up to get some work done, it started pouring down rain. This caused Jenny to run into the closet to hide, and Jake to hop up on the bed to snuggle up next to me...

And, oh yeah, now that it's colder out I unpacked the warming pads...

This makes them two very happy cats, even though you can't really see it on Jenny with her adorable resting bitch face.

Jake doesn't have a resting bitch face. But he does have a snaggletooth. Some of the time. But lately I've noticed that it's out of his mouth more and more... looking longer than it has in the past...

Weirdly adorable, I think.

Whenever Jenny has had enough of me petting her or holding her feet or whatever... she just starts kicking at me to get away while she makes her escape. It's a hilariously cat-like. They manipulate you into getting what they want. And if they don't want you around, they leave.

I can't help but feel I should be learning from that.

In other news... Jake puked on the warming pads I had put on the bed. Both of them!

After I took the covers off the pads to toss them in the wash, I went back upstairs and Jake was sitting on the warm spot left by one of the pads. I crawled back into bed to work for a while, at which point he plopped down next to me and fell asleep...

I think I mentioned how my cats are "talking" a lot more as they get older.

I've decided to talk back.

Jenny was hanging off the cat tree looking at Jake running down the stairs. I was on the couch and started meowing at her. She turned her head to look...

I kept talking to her, at which point she shifted her body more towards me... still hanging off the cat tree...

She doesn't talk back like Jake does. Instead she just looks at me like I'm a moron.

Which is also hilariously cat-like.

It isn't even 8:00pm which means that it's actually 9:00pm when you remove Daylight Saving Time bullshit, which explains why I'm exhausted, but not to the point in giving up... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Translate This! "Do you love me?" =cat shakes head no=

When I was talking about my talking to my cats in yesterday's post, this is what I was doing... but without the translator.

   
• Galaxy Girl! Does anybody else consider it utterly bizarre that I can't remember what I did two days ago, but a Schoolhouse Rock video shows up on YouTube and I know every word?

Interplanet Janet is not the most memorable, but the song sure is a bop.

   
• Happy! I am digging the first two episodes of Plur1bus on Apple TV. It's a bit plodding, but you can just feel that it's going somewhere interesting...

The trailer does a pretty good job of letting you know what the show is about without spoiling anything...

I'm not exactly sure where the show will end up landing (though I have my suspicions), but I trust Vince Gilligan to have that figured out.

   
• In Love and War! I tuned in to Kim Kardashian's new legal drama All's Fair for two reasons: 1) The reviews were so bad I was wondering if the show was truly bad or just getting review-bombed... and 2) The cast has some phenomenal actors in it, like Glenn Close, Naomi Watts, Teyana Taylor, and Sarah Paulson... plus Neicy Nash, whom I love.

And, yeah, it truly is that bad.

I could barely make it through the first episode. To see actors I enjoy in this horrific pile of shit with such awful dialogue was unbearable. I am fully willing to admit that my problem with the show may be on me because I don't understand the tone. But either way, it just... fails. If it's supposed to be camp, it doesn't go far enough and feels like serious matters are being trivialized. If it's meant to be serious with camp beats, it is completely sabotaged by moments so cringe that you can't take the show seriously. Which is to say that I honestly don't know what the fuck to make of it all. A show which is assumed to be a monument to women's empowerment feels an awful lot like mocking women's empowerment. But I'm a guy, so maybe I'm missing the point. Good Lord I hope I'm missing the point.

   
• MoonBase Alpha Revisited! Full episodes of SPACE: 1999 are on YouTube thanks to Shout! Studios. When I was a kid, I thought this show was so frickin' bizarre. Decades later, nothing has changed! Though I still think the special effect were darn good for the day and the costumes were some of the best ever made (Paramount must have thought so too, since Star Trek: The Motion Picture copied the general idea two years later)...

What's hilarious is that the excellent special effects shots we got must have been very expensive, because there are episodes where they have the characters stumbling around in the dark instead of inside an alien space ship or whatever. It definitely saved money! The writing in the first season was very smart. And one of the few episodes I remember in good detail was the fifth one (guest starring Christopher Lee!). What makes it so memorable is the ending, which is pretty brutal...

The show, which was always scientifically dicey, is ripe for a reboot. One day.

   
• NEWSFLASH: Teen Who Raped, Strangled and Brutalized 2 Girls Was Facing 7 Decades in Prison — Then a Judge Let Him Walk Free. "Violent criminals threatening American lives will be immediately deported! — Oh... he's white? And his dad was a beloved football coach? Never mind." — Amazing what passes for "justice" in this toxic shithole country. Between horrific bullshit like this and criminals being pardoned left and right not because they were wrongly imprisoned or their sentence was too harsh... but because they will be loyal to a politician... Justice is getting harder and harder to find. Read that headline again and tell me how even 70 years was enough time?

   
• Science Denial In Action. Just like Steve Jobs ignored science... at first... when it came to treating his cancer, so has Dilbert comic creator Scott Adams. And now that it's too late, he wants his buddy the president to intercede and get him the scientific treatment he needs, despite the reason he's likely being denied is because he wasted time thinking Ivermectin would cure him and now it's too late...

I don't get why people who reject science for curable diseases suddenly abandon all their "principles" when death is looming. I mean, you didn't think it would work then, but now you do? And when you've waited too long for science to work any more, then you're back to science being "bad." In the meanwhile, you've convinced other people who could have been cured to abandon science with you. That's incredibly shitty. Bad enough you let yourself die, worse you're taking others with you.

   
I guess that's all I got for the day. Good night.