This past Sunday I was sitting in the living room working while the television was on. I catch a blur in the catio, look ourside, and Jake is climbing towards the ceiling. Usually this means a bird is around, but it ended up being a bee.

I tapped the window and said "JAKE! JAKE... LEAVE THE BIG FUZZY BEE ALONE!"

Which got his attention...

The bee was oblivious and eventually flew out without becoming a chew toy for Jake...

Jenny hasn't been going out into the catio as often as she used to. She's far more interested in lounging on the couch.

Which would be fine except she like to have her feet held while she sleeps for some reason.

So there I was, rewatching Andor Season 02, Episode 03 to get ready for Episode 04, while composing an email when Jenny came up and plopped down next to me. She meowed to get my attention, and that went like this...

She always gets what she wants. Always.

To decompress from the horrors of the day, I've been playing Torchlight II, which is one of my favorite Diablo video game clones.

On regular difficulty, my pet is an orange cat named Jenny, and she's just a normal companion that helps when she can...

When playing on casual difficulty (where I don't want to stress so much) my pet is a gray cat named Jake. Because it's so easy to play, I prefer to just use my abilities and not any spells, so I give all my spells to Jake.

And he's gone all psychotic. CONSTANTLY summoning zombies or skeleton archers to help with a fight, even if it's not needed. CONSTANTLY casting all kinds of spells just because he can, not because it's helping.

It's both funny and upsetting. All I can say from my experience is that I would never give a cat magic spells in Real Life.

Fur everywhere is always a problem with my cats, but in Spring when they're shedding their winter coats in bulk, it's a serious issue from which I cannot escape.

Fortunately, for Jenny at least, the solution is to brush her with the Furminator®. This thing is remarkable for being to pull so much fur off a cat that you'll have enough to build a second cat. And Jenny loves the thing. She wants to be brushed down with it as rough as you dare go, and doesn't want you to stop. I think she'd be happy to be brushed until all her fur is gone.

Jake on the other hand? He hates the thing. Even the gentlest of brushing will have him snapping at me. And so I do the best I can to claw at him with my hands so I can get as much loose fur off of him as I can. Which isn't much. Which means there's Jake fur rolling around the house in all directions.

Oh well. 50/50 is better than nothing.

One thing my cats seem to enjoy equally well is chomping on my lettuce.

This past week I saw lettuce puked up in two places and went rushing to the security cameras to see which of the little monsters was responsible...

The answer may not surprise you.

It was both of them!

So I guess I have to move my vegetable & herb garden to the garage?

A couple nights ago I was laying in bed working while Jenny was sitting next to me watching television.

Jake hopped up on the bed. And looked confused for a second. He just stood there staring at us.

Eventually he walked to the other side where Jenny way laying, sat down against her like she was a back-stop, then started cleaning his butt. Jenny, like the trooper she is, seemed unbothered and just kept laying there watching TV. I was worried if I reached for my phone to get a photo that I might startle them, but nope...

Turns out he wasn't confused, he was just scoping out the best spot to do his business.

At least he wasn't leaning against me this time.

As I mentioned a bunch of Caturdays ago, Jake has been acting like he's got a bit of arthritis or something that has him looking like he's having a tougher time moving around. I'll be discussing it with his vet, but in the meanwhile I'm building some things to help him out. Now that Spring is here, I can park outside and set up my garage wood shop.

I'm starting with stairs. The first of which will be to get up to my bed so he might have an easier time getting in and out. I've already built the stair frames and painted them. All that's left is to add the steps and screw in the rubber feet...

After this I've got a long list of "Cat Accessibility Measures" that I'll be working on. Mostly constructing small staircases for places that Jake likes to frequent. Like my desk, the stairwell shelf I built, and small storage room that he and Jenny hide in when people are here.

I am not, however, building stairs up to the kitchen counters. That can stay off-limits.

Before I get to it... this Facebook video of a cat getting its butt wiped at a cat show is about as cat as it get.

Most every morning I have some kind of video conference call. Jenny avoids them like the plague. At most she will go running behind my desk at top speed to get back to my bedroom. Jake, on the other hand, is one of those cats that end up in viral TikTok videos because he has absolutely zero problem asking for attention during a call. He will walk across the desk and put his butt in my face. He will flick his tail while walking back-and-forth. And he will sometimes start squawking because he's still hungry after breakfast.

But most of the time?

He just sits on the shelf I built on top of the stairwell (the one I made after Jake had fallen off and hurt his foot) and... stares at me.

Sometimes in a more entertaining way than others...

The reason I have this photo is because I took it in order to show it to the other person on my call.

I fully realize that the crazy things my cats do sound unbelievable, so I always make sure I have the receipts.

As I'm writing this, my cats have once again taken over the bed. I have about 1/4 at the very edge. I took a photo before Jake spread himself out to full length and kept pushing on my right leg until I moved it...

15 minutes later, the automated feeders triggered to dispense their 9:00pm snack and the bed was mine again.

For a while, anyway.

On Friday morning I drove over the mountains.

On Thursday I had to pack. And deal with my cats, who do not like the idea of me leaving. At all.

When I woke up in the morning and rolled my suitcase into the room, my cats were riveted to my activities. When I looked on the bed, there they were staring at me...

Jake, as usual, was on top of me when I got back from work. Sometimes literally. As you can see here when he was playing "foot warmer" and fell asleep on me...

And so now I'm feeling bad that my cats are back home wondering where I am.

Or taking a dump in my shoes.

One of those things.

Tonight I'm packing for a trip over the mountains tomorrow.

Of course the cats know what's happening. The minute they hear the suitcase rolling out of the closet they know. And they're all over me wanting attention, which I'm guessing is a way to keep me from packing so I don't leave. Or maybe they just realize that the automated cat feeders can't dispense wet food, so they're upset that I won't be here to give them the good stuff?

Either way, I will miss the knuckleheads while I'm away.

For the most part, my cats leave me alone while I'm sleeping. I've left my bedroom security camera on a couple times to see if my cats wander in at night, and they definitely do. But if they see I'm sleeping, they turn around and leave. Especially Jake. Jenny will sometimes wake me up, but when I investigate on the downstairs cameras I find that it's because Jake has taken her spot on a warming pad... or he's sat on her... or she's had a bad dream (this has always happened since I first brought her home, and she will start kicking so hard that she'll waker herself up and be upset) or whatever.

But when I'm awake? Yeah, they are going to want attention.

Usually, Jenny is first to hop on the bed in the morning. But today it was Jake, and Jenny came later...

At which point Jake promptly stood up, then hacked up a hairball all over the blankets, then looked at me like it was my fault. After carefully stripping the bed so the cats could get out of the way, they both fell asleep...

After checking my email and all that, I went downstairs to work on the couch so I could watch television. Jake followed me so he could lay across my legs...

Fortunately he didn't puke up a hairball on me.

Yet.

My cats are fairly well-behaved. They scratch where they're supposed to (scratching posts, not furniture), they (mostly) stay off the counters, they (mostly) don't puke all over the place, and they (generally) don't give me any grief. They have gotten considerably more clingy as they age, but that's not a bad thing.

Jenny wants attention on her terms. Pet her when she wants you to, where she wants you to, and how she wants you to.

Jake, on the other hand, wants attention. Period.

When I get home from work, he comes running to get petted. When I sit down, he comes running to sit on my lap. When I sleep, he usually sleeps on the bed somewhere with me (Jenny will scamper away once I turn off the lights). He's not annoying about it... he leaves me after he's reached his limit... but he's persistent.

As I've mentioned many times, Jenny loves television. Jake has zero interest.

But before I left for vacation, I did run a "video for cats" on YouTube that had a non-stop parade of birds eating seed off a picnic table. Jake was on my lap and I thought he might find it entertaining...

The stereo sound on my laptop confused him because he kept looking around, but once he figured things out... he was completely obsessed...

Still from the video 8 Hour Birds Bonanza

The video goes on for 8 hours. Jake was good for about 15 minutes.

Maybe if they had included some lizards or something he could have made it to 20.