Leaving my cats for even a small amount of time is traumatic for all involved. I'm worrying about what's happening back home... my cats are wondering where I'm at... and Jake is wandering around crying while he looks for me. It's an ordeal.

I try to make things easier on them by having the television turn on and off... and making sure I leave my bed a mess so they can nest in the covers.

And of course I still check in on them via the security system. Make sure they're still eating and getting along okay. When I was on the plane I had nothing to do, so I decided to take a look. The camera in my room was off, so when I turned it back on I woke them up...

I was home four hours later, which made all of us happy.

And speaking of cats, this popped up and was an immediate hit with me...

My cats don't fight much. But it does happen. And when it does it often looks something like this.

I was gone less than a week. Do you think when I walked through the door my cats acted like it was less than a week? Oh heck no. Jake wouldn't even let me set down my bags before crying to be petted.

And of course since it's prime shedding season, the house was covered in cat hair. Right now I'm vacuuming almost daily. And of course I wasn't here to Furminator the cats. Well, one of them anyway. Jake refuses to be Furminated, and will "bite" me if I attempt it... but, as I mentioned, Jenny loves it so much that she would happily let me brush all her hair off her body.

So when I called her to get brushed, she came running. Jake did too, but only to supervise...

And now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to terrorize my cats by firing up the vacuum cleaner. Again.

Another cat-day, another Caturday.

As shown (again) last week, Jenny likes me to hold her feet when she sleeps. She pretty much insists on it. What's funny is when she falls asleep, then decides to stretch out...

You'd think that once she's no longer getting her feet held, she wouldn't mind me taking my my hand away. Oh hell no. She wakes up immediately and meows until I hold her feet again.

I was looking through Facebook Memories the other day and ran across this photo of Jake sitting as Jake does while cleaning his front paw...

I thought it was funny so I said "Hey! Jake!" so he'd look at me.

And boy did he...

I'm surprised that I didn't have my spleen cut out while I slept.

This past Sunday I was sitting in the living room working while the television was on. I catch a blur in the catio, look ourside, and Jake is climbing towards the ceiling. Usually this means a bird is around, but it ended up being a bee.

I tapped the window and said "JAKE! JAKE... LEAVE THE BIG FUZZY BEE ALONE!"

Which got his attention...

The bee was oblivious and eventually flew out without becoming a chew toy for Jake...

Jenny hasn't been going out into the catio as often as she used to. She's far more interested in lounging on the couch.

Which would be fine except she like to have her feet held while she sleeps for some reason.

So there I was, rewatching Andor Season 02, Episode 03 to get ready for Episode 04, while composing an email when Jenny came up and plopped down next to me. She meowed to get my attention, and that went like this...

She always gets what she wants. Always.

To decompress from the horrors of the day, I've been playing Torchlight II, which is one of my favorite Diablo video game clones.

On regular difficulty, my pet is an orange cat named Jenny, and she's just a normal companion that helps when she can...

When playing on casual difficulty (where I don't want to stress so much) my pet is a gray cat named Jake. Because it's so easy to play, I prefer to just use my abilities and not any spells, so I give all my spells to Jake.

And he's gone all psychotic. CONSTANTLY summoning zombies or skeleton archers to help with a fight, even if it's not needed. CONSTANTLY casting all kinds of spells just because he can, not because it's helping.

It's both funny and upsetting. All I can say from my experience is that I would never give a cat magic spells in Real Life.

Fur everywhere is always a problem with my cats, but in Spring when they're shedding their winter coats in bulk, it's a serious issue from which I cannot escape.

Fortunately, for Jenny at least, the solution is to brush her with the Furminator®. This thing is remarkable for being to pull so much fur off a cat that you'll have enough to build a second cat. And Jenny loves the thing. She wants to be brushed down with it as rough as you dare go, and doesn't want you to stop. I think she'd be happy to be brushed until all her fur is gone.

Jake on the other hand? He hates the thing. Even the gentlest of brushing will have him snapping at me. And so I do the best I can to claw at him with my hands so I can get as much loose fur off of him as I can. Which isn't much. Which means there's Jake fur rolling around the house in all directions.

Oh well. 50/50 is better than nothing.

One thing my cats seem to enjoy equally well is chomping on my lettuce.

This past week I saw lettuce puked up in two places and went rushing to the security cameras to see which of the little monsters was responsible...

The answer may not surprise you.

It was both of them!

So I guess I have to move my vegetable & herb garden to the garage?

A couple nights ago I was laying in bed working while Jenny was sitting next to me watching television.

Jake hopped up on the bed. And looked confused for a second. He just stood there staring at us.

Eventually he walked to the other side where Jenny way laying, sat down against her like she was a back-stop, then started cleaning his butt. Jenny, like the trooper she is, seemed unbothered and just kept laying there watching TV. I was worried if I reached for my phone to get a photo that I might startle them, but nope...

Turns out he wasn't confused, he was just scoping out the best spot to do his business.

At least he wasn't leaning against me this time.

As I mentioned a bunch of Caturdays ago, Jake has been acting like he's got a bit of arthritis or something that has him looking like he's having a tougher time moving around. I'll be discussing it with his vet, but in the meanwhile I'm building some things to help him out. Now that Spring is here, I can park outside and set up my garage wood shop.

I'm starting with stairs. The first of which will be to get up to my bed so he might have an easier time getting in and out. I've already built the stair frames and painted them. All that's left is to add the steps and screw in the rubber feet...

After this I've got a long list of "Cat Accessibility Measures" that I'll be working on. Mostly constructing small staircases for places that Jake likes to frequent. Like my desk, the stairwell shelf I built, and small storage room that he and Jenny hide in when people are here.

I am not, however, building stairs up to the kitchen counters. That can stay off-limits.

Before I get to it... this Facebook video of a cat getting its butt wiped at a cat show is about as cat as it get.

Most every morning I have some kind of video conference call. Jenny avoids them like the plague. At most she will go running behind my desk at top speed to get back to my bedroom. Jake, on the other hand, is one of those cats that end up in viral TikTok videos because he has absolutely zero problem asking for attention during a call. He will walk across the desk and put his butt in my face. He will flick his tail while walking back-and-forth. And he will sometimes start squawking because he's still hungry after breakfast.

But most of the time?

He just sits on the shelf I built on top of the stairwell (the one I made after Jake had fallen off and hurt his foot) and... stares at me.

Sometimes in a more entertaining way than others...

The reason I have this photo is because I took it in order to show it to the other person on my call.

I fully realize that the crazy things my cats do sound unbelievable, so I always make sure I have the receipts.

As I'm writing this, my cats have once again taken over the bed. I have about 1/4 at the very edge. I took a photo before Jake spread himself out to full length and kept pushing on my right leg until I moved it...

15 minutes later, the automated feeders triggered to dispense their 9:00pm snack and the bed was mine again.

For a while, anyway.

On Friday morning I drove over the mountains.

On Thursday I had to pack. And deal with my cats, who do not like the idea of me leaving. At all.

When I woke up in the morning and rolled my suitcase into the room, my cats were riveted to my activities. When I looked on the bed, there they were staring at me...

Jake, as usual, was on top of me when I got back from work. Sometimes literally. As you can see here when he was playing "foot warmer" and fell asleep on me...

And so now I'm feeling bad that my cats are back home wondering where I am.

Or taking a dump in my shoes.

One of those things.