I am typing this will Jake on my chest. It's not going well. You'll have to forgive any misspellings.

So there was Jake... sticking his head in a bag. Again. I had my camera ready because I absolutely knew where this was headed...

But don't worry I reached over and pulled it off immediately after snapping the photo. I wanted a photo of Jake with Cheetos dust on his face, but he ran away in shame. And I'm like... I get it.

The guy never, ever learns. If I wasn't as careful as I am to pick the bags up, he'd do this once a week.

But before I go...

I saw this LEGO sculpture on social media and really wish I knew who to credit for it, because it's brilliant...

Apparently somebody needs to learn the importance of spaying or neutering your cat.

Yesterday was International Cat Day, which is hilarious because EVERY DAY IS INTERNATIONAL CAT DAY!

In other news... I believe that my cats have a longstanding agreement on dividing my time between them. Jenny mostly wants my attention at night when I head up to bed. Though I don't know why. Most of the time she doesn't care about being petted... she just wants me to act as a foot rest...

What's interesting is that if Jake is laying in bed next to me when Jenny comes in the room, he will most times hop off the bed and leave the room, at which point Jenny will take his place. Sometimes I've even seen Jenny come into my bedroom, see Jake is next to me on the bed, leave the room, then he'll jump down and follow her out, at which point she'll come back so she can lay next to me.

But every once in a while... like last night on International Cat Day... miracles do happen...

And after Jenny left do you think I got my arm back?

Jake's designated time with me is when I get home from work. He and Jenny both sleep on my bed when I'm gone... but Jake listens for the garage door to open, then hauls ass down to the bottom of the stairs where he waits for me to walk in so he can get petted.

Sometimes he's apparently too comfortable to come running to greet me, because he isn't waiting. I used to go upstairs to make sure he was okay because it was so unusual for him to be absent when I walked through the door, but it was always just him being lazy.

They do seem to take turns sitting with me on the couch, however.

Jake wants to sit on my lap and be petted. Jenny prefers to sit next to me and be petted.

The common denominator being that my cats always want to be petted, of course.

And so... the cat fights continue.

I will be reading or working in bed, then hear hissing and howling and screaching coming from downstairs. Usually I just ignore it because it doesn't last long. But last night? Holy cats. I heard Jenny inside hissing and hissing and hissing while Jake was outside screeching. Meanwhile Fake Jake was standing there making cat fight yowls while actually not in a cat fight because there's a fence between them.

But anyway...

This is not Jenny.

But it might as well be her. Or Jake...

Rent means nothing to them. And why should it?

I swear my cats are getting worse with each passing day.

Jake and Jenny are now both wailing when something is upsetting them, knowing that I'll drop everything and come running. This past week Jenny wailed because Jake ate her food when she finally bothered to come downstairs for dinner... and Jake was wailing and wailing so strongly that I ran to find out if he was dying, but it turned out he wanted to be petted. Seriously. Just sauntered right up to me and started rubbing against my legs until I pet him.

Then today I heard wailing out in the catio. But when I looked it was just Jake saying hello to Fake Jake, who seems to be getting lighter and shrinking as Jake is expanding, which is to say there's no mistaking them for each other as I once had...

Of course Jenny experienced immediate FOMO and had to go rushing out to see what was up. At which point Fake Jake got bored and left...

Jenny hopped up on a shelf to see if she could could spot where he went. Jake, apparently blaming her for him losing his entertainment, was not thrilled with her...

Jenny, who is above such nonsense, just climbed up to the top shelf while Jake sat below sulking.

Until they heard the dinner alarm, at which point she ran inside while Jake sat in front of the cat door wailing again. I was going to go open the door to let him in, but only after I had put food out. Except that wasn't necessary. Since food is his biggest motivator, he ultimately decided that he'd let himself in.

I don't even want to think of the wailing which would ensue if he came in to find out that his sister had eaten his dinner.

For the longest time, Jake would be happy to take whatever attention he could get when I arrive home, then wander off when I have to leave him.

Not any more.

Now, if I leave before he's had enough pets, he follows me around the house squawking and crying until I pet him more.

Jenny, on the other hand, has the decency to wait until I get into bed before she starts crying for me to pet her...

Though she's not above crying if I don't feed her food she feels like eating, of course. Except I'm trying to not give in so easily now-a-days.

I was gone two days on vacation and, just like when I'm gone for two weeks, Jake won't leave my side.

Every night I go to sleep and he's laying next to me, then when I wake up and he's still there. I don't know how he manages to get any sleep with all my tossing and turning, but it doesn't seem to discourage him. Of course even belly rubs only distract him for a second before he falls asleep again...

If only I could sleep like that.

I may be laying here dying of a sunburn, but never you fear about this blog... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• The Life List! If you too are laying on the couch trying not to move so your sunburn won't give you grief and you're looking for a rom-com to watch, here you go...

Ever since I lost Hallmark Channel, my consumption of rom-coms has been dangerously low. Fortunately they are in endless supply.

   
• Melancholy! There's a new Google commercial showing how you can use your phone's camera to get help via a photo AI search. The song they have in the background is very clearly On Melancholy Hill by Gorillaz. Then, at the very end, the tune takes enough of a turn that you know it's not...

It's a bummer, because every time it comes on, I'm thinking that Google licensed the track from Damon Albarn, who has crafted some of my favorite music of all time (lead by Silent Running which remains one of the most achingly beautiful songs I've heard (link in comments).

   
• Correlation? And yet you see it on social media practically every day. Multiple times a day...

Which is bad enough, except you see it in the news as well. Politicians just love this shit.

   
• Cancelation Rage! One of my favorite shows of 2025 has been The Residence on Netflix. The character of Cordelia Cupp is amazing, the story they came up with for her is fantastic, and the mystery in the show is pretty great. Which is why I was hoping so badly we'd get a sequel. But of course Netflix canceled the show...

It's beyond frustrating that good shows get canceled before their time. And I guess I'll just add this to the pile of shows I'm mad about losing.

   
• Immortal Cat Tales! Matt Damon has more than a few stories which make me like him as a person. And here's one more...

Cats are such mythical creatures. Maybe that's what I like about them.

   
• NEWSFLASH: ‘Sinners’ on Max Will Include a Black American Sign Language Version. The fact that there is a laugh-react to this enrages me to the point of meltdown. Adding accessibility for a group of people DOES NOT TAKE ANYTHING AWAY FROM YOU. The Black Deaf Community has developed a language to better communicate their shared-experience. Everybody should be thrilled to know that HBO Max is putting in the work and money necessary to make sure that this masterpiece film has the best experience possible for everybody. But no. The fact that BASL is an option is somehow hilarious. Get fucked. Go back to your bigot bubble where absolutely everything is just designed exclusively for you and leave those who advocate for their inclusion alone.

   
• Make it Sparkle! LET'S GO TO THE MALL EVERYBODY!

I've been rewatching How I Met Your Mother, but the number of times I've watched this episode go way beyond the number of times I've watched the series.

   
And now back to nursing my sunburn.

I prop my pillows upright so the cats don’t lay on them and get fur all over them. Jenny, bless her heart, HAS BEEN PULLING DOWN THE PILLOWS WITH HER CLAWS AND THEN LAYS ON THEM!!

Usually I have to look at the security cameras to see what happened. But this time the little scoundrel did it right in front of me...

Which is oh so typical of her.

She has absolutely no regard for rules. Well, neither of my cats do, but she's borderline contemptuous of rules.

Which is oh so typical of cats, really.

Every time Jake comes to me crying because Jenny has been chasing him, I always say "Well, what did you do to piss her off?" because I know that's exactly why she would end up chasing him. She doesn't randomly decide to antagonize her brother.

Last night while I was finishing up watching Dept. Q, Jenny was laying on the back of the smaller sofa. Jake, for reasons known only to himself, hopped up on the arm of the couch and then immediately swatted her. I guess he had seen her up on the sofa and decided he didn't like that?

Jenny has always been a little bit tempermental and demanding.

But it's her vindictive streak you have to watch out for.

As for Jake? He's definitely learning from her example, but is still mostly easy-going and chill about most every situation. The other day while I was on a Zoom call he wanted attention. I had to put him off until I was finished which would have enraged Jenny. But Jake just plopped down in my Buddha-Cat statue's lap and waited for me...

As I'm typing this he's out in the catio, where he spends most evenings now. It's warm enough to be comfy but not so insanely hot that he's uncomfortable wearing his fur coat.

As for Jenny?

After she cried and cried and cried for pets while I was loading the dishwasher, I relented and pet her until she was content to wander off and fall asleep on the cat tree. My little princess doesn't do the outdoors very often.

When I got home yesterday, this was me: "GAH! JENNNNNYYYY! STOP BRINGING CRICKETS INTO THE HOUSE!!!"

At which point Jake looks at me like I'm insane because Jenny is not even in the room. This is the second time this year. And I know it's Jenny because Jake only plays with the bugs. Jenny either eats them or brings them inside. They're her favorite thing, apparently.

Meanwhile Jake's favorite thing seems to be hacking up hairballs.

But let me backup a second... first I should say that I dumped some blankets from the dryer onto the couch last week, then ran outside to water flowers. When I came back inside Jake was laying in them. And he's been there very often ever since, so I've just left them there. Ironically, the whole reason I washed them in the first place was because they were covered in car hair...

AND THEN... this morning while I was working, I hear that unmistakable sound of a hairball being hacked up. I look over and there he is... puking one out on the blankets. So back they go into the wash. Again.

Which just means he's going to puke on them again the minute I put them back on the couch.