There are many things frustrating about owning cats. But at the top of the list would be giving them a new food to try... having them absolutely love it... then, once you buy a case of it, they no longer want it. Second most frustrating is when they will eat a certain food for three years then all of a sudden decide they don't want it any more. A could go on. Most of my frustration with my cats are food-related.

Recently I ordered some of the #1 cat food as voted by veterinarians... Smalls

It arrived yesterday, so I served it for dinner.

Jake wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. I sprinkled some stinky dried fish flakes on top... he just licked it off and left the Smalls untouched.

Jenny was excited by the smell and started licking it up immediately. Except she couldn't lick it up because the strange grainy, dry texture just got flattened to the bottom of the bowl.

This morning I knew better than to force it on Jake, so I didn't even bother. I gave him something else. To help Jenny be able to get it into her mouth I mixed it with water so she could actually eat it. And eat it she did. I left them to their breakfast and went back to bed to read some emails.

After a bit I came back downstairs to the living room only to find puke all over the coffee table, the floor, on the side of the couch, and splashed on the side of the entertainment center. The color of the vomit made it very clear that Jenny was the culprit (victim?), because watered-down Smalls was everywhere.

Not that I cared about puke everywhere, that's just part of having cats. But I cared very much that poor Jenny had vomited repeatedly (or one long puke in five locations)...

And so... guess I'll be giving their Smalls to the neighbor cats and see if they handle it better.

Now that it's not so hot out, the cats are loving being out in the catio all day. At least on the days that there's not so much wildfire smoke that I close the door because I'm concerned about their little kitty lungs.

In addition to being outside where they can look at the world, the main reason the catio is so appealing is that they get to visit with the other animals of the area. Mostly cats. An occasional dog. Sometimes a deer or a raccoon.

Right now Jake's favorite visitor is Rusty.

Rusty is actually a very sweet dog from next door that plays in the field behind my home. But she does not like cats. And if my cats are out there, she's perfectly happy to bark and howl at them. Something Jenny is terrified of and will run back inside immediately.

But Jake? Despite how loud and scary Rusty might be, he somehow finds the courage to confront her (in the second half of the video, you can see Jake swiping at her through the fence as she's reflected in the door window)...

And Jenny?

During one of the times Jake was outside hissing and swiping at Rusty, she was happy to just sit next to me on the couch and watch the madness from a safe distance...

My guess is that she's just not up for the drama.

I have completely given up trying to manage my cats.

They do whatever they want and I don't even bother trying to restrict their behavior because now that they're old and cranky (like me) they just don't care. About anything. Fortunately, there are some rules that have been in place since they were small so they don't misbehave because it's engrained into them. Things like scratching furniture or jumping up on the kitchen counters. Sometimes they "forget," but it's rare because they still remember aluminum foil covering the countertops and sticky tape on the furniture legs.

But then there's the dining table.

For whatever reason, they categorically refuse to stop jumping on top of it. No matter how many times I shoo them off, they will hop back on... sometimes minutes after they've been removed. No idea why this is one of those things that they're so intent on doing, but nothing seems to work that keeps them off.

So now I just put a towel on the table and that's that...

If I ever need to actually use the table, I still scrub it down with anti-bacterial scrub... but the fact that Jake and Jenny always stay on the towel when they're on the table is enough to keep me from losing my mind.

So I'm chalking this up as a win.

Even though everybody knows I'm taking the L here.

More smoky days ahead, but it would seem I can still blog while being trapped indoors... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• AI is Still Shit: Part 1,683! Dang. Googling my own blog to find something... and seeing their AI summary at the top is scary as hell. "Gemini" is drawing some very good conclusions each time, but missing the point entirely on a lot of things I've posted. Sarcasm and humor are left out of the equation, which means what I was intending to convey is badly misrepresented. Kinda freaking me out that people will see what Google is telling them and think that's what I was saying. But that's AI for you. Anybody who trusts it entirely needs to drastically reevaluate what they're being told.

   
• Unboxed! Marques Brownlee will be reviewing all the new iPhones in short order, but I wanted to reiterate how gutted I am that we finally get a brightly-colored iPhone Pro the minute I decide I'm going to pass on upgrading. Just look at how awesome it looks...

Yeah... the orange color paired with the camera lenses being upgraded (not to mention the sensor) almost makes me want to upgrade. Almost.

   
• Jaws! My current mood...

Cats are fiesty, that's for sure.

   
• NEWSFLASH: Whey to go: Is cheese the new reason to travel? It always has been. Going to the Kaasmuseum (Dutch Cheese Museum in Alkmaar) became a life ambition the moment I found out it existed. That's why you always travel for cheese! Parmesan and mozzarella in Italy. Cheddar in England and Canada. Feta in Greece. Butterkässe in Germany. Pepper cheese in Australia. Camembert in France. Cotija and Queso Fresco, and Oaxaca in Mexico. Manchego in Spain. Queso Tico in Costa Rica. Provoleta in Argentina. Sakura in Japan. I didn't have a specific cheese in Korea that I can remember, but I DO remember their corn cheese! And of course ALL THE CHEESE IN THE NETHERLANDS! I don't eat so much cheese now, but I would still travel for cheese!

   
• Big! This really takes me back. The interesting thing to note here is that projection TV technology was shit back in the day. If you don't view it directly-head-on, you can't see the picture well at all. Viewing from off the side was impossible...

Of course now people are thrilled to have their entire living room taken over by a television. I know I am!

   
• NEWSFLASH: Child dies of horrifying measles complication in Los Angeles. Herd immunity is failing now that anti-vaxers have created the society they’ve been dreaming of. And the death toll is only going to rise. This is horribly sad. Herd immunity is critical for protecting people unable to be vaccinated... like babies. How the fuck did we get here?

   
And now back to our regularly-scheduled wildfire season.

With the catio closed all week because of my wildfire smoke allergy, the cats have been depressed. Jenny hasn't been dealing with the situation well at all. Sure she doesn't sit in front of the cat door and cry like Jake. But she checks several times whether the door is open.

Just Jenny... contemplating her life choices that lead to the catio being closed for business...

As usual, there's almost zero chance of taking her photo without her noticing...

Jake has been frustrated indeed that stuff is going on outside the window and he can't go investigate...

He's mostly been sleeping. He can sleep for hours...

Then one day when I got home the smoke wasn't terrible. So I opened the catio door. Jenny went out for five minutes and came running back in. Jake waited a few more...

Oh well. I just had to close the cat door again the next morning.

I thought I would wake up in serious back pain after re-injuring it by trying to run my dishwasher.

But I didn't toss and turn in my sleep and woke up laying on my heating pad the same as I fell asleep. Now, granted, I only managed to sleep 4 hours and 10 minutes (according to my Apple Watch), but still... I was quite happy, because my back felt... fine?!? Last thing I remember my cats were both next to me, but only Jake remained when I woke up.

Well, fine enough that I didn't end up taking a muscle relaxer, but it was far from great. Though when I got home I vacuumed the floor without issue, so maybe resting over the weekend will heal me up that I can have a semi-normal week next week.

Now, I realize it's not Caturday until tomorrow, but I am compelled to share the photo I took before falling asleep yesterday. Jake is infamous for hopping on the bed where Jenny is sleeping and laying on top of her legs or her head or whatever. Except last night Jake lay down just next to her, and I was thrilled that he didn't disturb her spot since she was there first.

Then he started kicking his legs, waking her up (again), before he finally stuck one of his legs through hers. She was, as you'd imagine, thrilled...

Thank heavens I was looking at my phone at the time this happened. Usually I miss photos of moments like this.

But then she fell back asleep, so no harm no foul, I guess?

Until sometime in the middle of the night Jake did something to make her scamper off.

The wildfire smoke may have me cowering in my home, but life goes on... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Imperial Forces! Well this is epic...

When I was sent this TikTok, I marveled at the fact that this cat even allows the helmet to be put on his head. My cats would run off the second I even got the helmet near their heads.

   
• Gadget Time! Speaking of 3D printing...

It's enough to make me want to buy a 3D printer, except I know I'd never be this clever. Here's another video by the same guy...

I mean, come on. All of these are genius.

   
• DIYphone! Speaking of 3D printing... this right here is one of the coolest things you'll see all day. Guy made his own phone with clicky keyboard. The patience required to work through all this is mind-boggling...

Brah. The fact that the result is so killer is just icing on the cake. Instant subscribe to Marcin Plaza's YouTube Channel, which is brilliant, clever, and funny. And worth your valuable time.

   
• Pi Times Two! Speaking of 3D printing... and now... this...

Now, I know this is nothing compared to the earliest days of computing where the components of the computers themselves had to be built... but, still... this kind of thing is pretty amazing. 3D printing is making it possible to do all kinds of cool stuff.

   
• Neat! I was given a link to this article: Obscure But Badass Folks You Should Know About, which is exactly what it claims to be. AND THEN... I fell down the very large rabbit hole that is Neatorama. You've been warned.

   
• More Mitchell! A while ago I shared a video of David Mitchell's rants from the brilliant Would I Lie To You. Well, here's more laugh out loud moments...

I swear, the Royal Wedding statement, which I've watched multiple times now... always, always gets me.

   
And now back to being a hermit.

After taking yet another massive allergy pill so I could get a whole four hours sleep last night, I'm exhausted but recovering. My lungs don't feel itchy and I can eat real food.

But it's a different matter entirely for my cats. Who want to go out in the catio. Bad.

I keep showing Jake the air quality reading on my phone and telling him "It's too smokey for little kitty lungs outside!" But he sits there looking outside and crying because I've blocked the door to the catio...

It's particularly upsetting at night, because he sits there and howls because he can't get out. While I'm trying to wind down and rest. Fortunately I can call down to him and he'll come up and fall asleep next to me, because... yikes.

Jenny was upset at first, but resigned herself to the fact that she can't go out.

Which is good, because there's so much smoke out that you wouldn't know it's Summer. If not for the heat, you'd swear it was an overcast Winter day. And I really, really don't need my cats going in and out and brining smoke in with them.

In July they don't want to be outside in the heat very often any way. But September? Prime catio season...

Reeeeeeally hoping that this fire gets under control soon... but at over 9,000 acres and counting, it's not likely. Which means come Monday I'm going to have to leave my house for work and get sick, sick, sick again.

Which is nothing compared to the suffering by my cats not being able to go outside, of course (just ask them!).

Jenny, as I have undoubtedly mentioned, is a fiendishly clever and intelligent cat. She's also unbelievably manipulative. Not just towards me, but her brother as well. Once or twice a week she does something which has me wondering if she's smarter than I am.*

Except... only in specific areas.

As an example: Jenny loves running up to bed with me so she can get some pets before turning in for the night. Me, not her. Because she would gladly be petted for six hours. But the minute I turn the lights off, she runs back downstairs to sleep. But anyway... She used to head up with me when I went upstairs. But sometimes I'd forget something or was just going up to get something and wasn't actually going to bed. So then she stopped going up with me until I would turn off the television. When that wasn't guaranteed, she would wait for me to call her to say I'm going to bed. When that wasn't guaranteed (I'm forgetful), she started waiting until I'm upstairs and have Siri turn off the downstairs (I tell Siri "goodnight" once I'm in bed for real, and everything outside my bedroom turns off).

On Tuesday night I got into bed and told Siri "goodnight," then Jenny came running up as usual. But I forgot to set out something I needed to remember to take to work, so I had to get out of bed to go back downstairs. Right after Jenny had jumped up to be petted.

She was furious. Started meowing her head off upstairs, because how dare I leave her there un-petted! Then, when I was taking too long, she came downstairs to get me. Meowing the entire time.

So I don't know what happens next. I guess I have to pinky-swear that I'm really going to bed and won't be leaving until morning or something.

So, yeah, she's smart.

And then...

Jenny sometimes wants to be petted while I'm on the couch... but doesn't want to sit next to me for whatever reason. So she'll sit all the way at the other end of the couch and meow in frustration at me because I'm not petting her. I reach out my hand to show her that I can't reach. But instead of realizing it, she'll lean her little head towards me like she can somehow bridge the 4-foot gap between us.

After five minutes of this nonsense, she begrudgingly got up and moved closer because she realized I wasn't moving. But she was angry about it. Wouldn't even look at me, no matter how much I talked to her...

"Just give me my damn belly rubs and shut up about it."

Now, there are other things that I honestly don't know whether she's smart about or not.

Like when she gets a drink.

Jenny refuses to drink from the cat fountain in the dining room. Maybe the moving water bothers her or something. So I ended up buying a still water dispenser for her. No big deal, right? Well, maybe. Because she will never just walk up and get a drink. There's a process. First she sits in front of the bowl and stares at it... waiting for it to move or something. Then she will dip her paw into it... making sure it's not going to move, I guess. Then she will taste it off her paw five or six times... to make sure it's not poisonous, perhaps. Then, and only then will she take a drink.

But here's the problem... she's so skittish that if I walk into the kitchen while she's drinking (or, more likely, preparing to drink) she will run off. This is bad news, because a hydrated cat is a healthy cat. And so, any time I get up to go into the kitchen and Jenny's not around, I will stand at the cat tree and look into the kitchen to see if I can proceed. If she's waiting for the water to attack her or in process of drinking, I will wait for her to finish before heading towards the kitchen!

If she's checking for poison? Smart. If she's worried that the water might be going to attack her after drinking from the same dish hundreds of times? Wellll...

   
* Yeah, I'm sure everybody reading this is thinking "Of course Jenny is smarter than you are." But I'm all... "Well, I don't see her able to earn a living or surf the internet, so how smart could she possibly be?"**

** Oh...

=sigh=

If you want to see a photo of me losing my mind... well, what little is left of my mind... here it is...

I had to come home to pick up something for work yesterday morning.

I see Jake laying on the cat tree so I say his name and ask him how his day has been. Nothing.

I say his name and talk to him a little louder. Nothing.

I go up to touch him. Nothing.

Now I'm in a blind panic, so I start shaking him... and... he finally moves, then wakes up and looks at me like I'm the asshole for waking him up. Then squawks. Then goes back to sleep.

Now, for context, both my cats are skittish enough that ANY sound will wake them up. Jake not waking up to look at me when I am saying his name and talking to him is unprecedented. Him not reacting when I touch him? Inconceivable (yes, that word means what I think it means).

And so... that was a flash-forward that had me shaking all day long.

Maybe this is just what happens when cats get older. Maybe Jake is losing his hearing. Maybe he's just decided "fuck it" I am not going to react to meet his expectations. I don't know. But it wrecked my day. And now my anxiety is at an all-time high when I didn't think it was possible for it to get any worse.

I mean, don't get me wrong... there's absolutely no scenario where I would trade the past 9-1/2 years of my life with these cats. They have literally saved my life. But now a part of me cannot help but wonder if they will be the death of me as well.