Well, here it is. The entry where I recap all the things that happened in the year. Except... such a post only really made sense when I was actually doing lots of stuff (meaning prior to 2020). Not that nothing at all happened in 2024. Plenty of stuff happened. It's just that going through it all month-by-month doesn't really work when the notable stuff just isn't a massive list. And here we go...

The single biggest lesson I learned in 2024 is that Apple is a shitty fucking company who does not give a single fuck about your data. I started using their "iCloud Drive" which was more expensive than other options, but I wanted the benefit of integration with all my Apple stuff. And it was great. Until my data started zeroing out. I called support and we watched as file after file would be reduced to zero bytes in real-time. And they could offer no help except to suggest that I copy my files off iCloud Drive (no shit, I started doing that immediately). Of course I had backups, but recent files that hadn't backed up yet were gone. Very old files that never got backed up were gone. And after jumping through hoops Apple blamed me because "iCloud Drive is not a backup service." So if you're using Apple cloud storage, better get your files off of it before they're gone.

I paid loads of money to have my shower ripped out and rebuilt because a company I hired to diagnose a leak told me that was the problem. Except it wasn't the shower at all. It was the toilet. That's a lot of money down the drain. But at least the leaking nightmare is finally over.

I had kidney stones for the first time in many years (I used to get them regularly). But this time was different in that I suffered in absolute agony instead of going to the emergency room for drugs because I really couldn't afford to do that. Despite paying absurd amounts of money for "health insurance." I fucking despise that Americans pay a fucking shit-ton into "health insurance," whose only function is to pull money out of the system and make profits for health insurance company executives.

I ran across one of the funniest cat videos ever this past year, and here it is. The cat is speaking French, but there's subtitles...

Next up in cat news? Jake has a snaggletooth sometimes now...

   
After yet another eye surgery, I decided to get my eyeball lenses replaced and blogged all about it starting in Part One here (and here are Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, and a follow up post), and that's been very cool.

And, oh yeah, if you've ever wanted a lot of Drunk Dave stories in one place, here you go!

If you're a Disney Parks fan, I wrote a shitload of posts once I got back from Walt Disney World...

• Tiana’s Bayou Adventure
• TRON Lightcycle/Run
• Runaway Railway
• Star Wars Land
• Remy’s Ratatouille Adventure
• Avatar Land
• Cosmic Rewind
• Seven Dwarfs Mine Train
• Skyliner
• Disney Eats
• Disney Sleeps
• Future Backward
• Disney Regrets
• Copycat Disney Regrets
• I say whip it! Whip it Dole good!

The Aurora Borealis visited a couple times...

   
I finally played around with that AI garbage that all the kids are talking about...

   
And I'm going to wrap this up in a surprising way by re-mentioning that I discovered the movie Half Brothers in 2024, which really struck a cord with me for some reason. I'm kinda obsessed with the movie, and it's become the film that I put on whenever I need background noise. It's just so well done, in particular the exceptional performance by Gerardo Méndez. This is a comedy, but he has to communicate far past this because there's a lot of heartbreaking stuff going on.

And that's a wrap on 2024. Hope everybody has a safe and happy New Year.

Well then. Didn't have a new Defunctland video on my Bingo card.

The channel used to get new episodes fairly regularly. Then the videos started getting more complex and in-depth, which meant that they started taking longer and longer for Kevin to produce. But quality takes time (I'm still amazed by the Disney Channel Theme video from a couple years ago)...

Spoiler Alert: This is only Part One! No idea how long we'll have to wait for Part Two (or how many parts there will be), but animatronics is a fascinating topic, and I'll take as many parts as we can get.

More information out of Disney today over their Walt Disney World expansion plans to counter Universal Studios unleashing Epic Universe.

As had long-been surmised, they are indeed plowing under Muppet's Courtyard in Disney's Hollywood Studios to make room for the new Monstropolis "land" based on Monsters, Inc. There was always hope that Disney would find another place for their plans and preserve the last project Jim Henson personally worked on (MuppetVision 3d) but, alas, it was not to be. Apparently Disney is looking into options to preserve the film, but the film doesn't work without the theater so I have no idea how they're going to do that.

As a consolation prize, Aerosmith's Rockin' Roller Coaster is going to transition into Muppet's Rockin' Roller Coaster which leads to an entirely new group of questions...

© Disney

Primary of which is this... you're putting The Muppets on a rather intense roller coaster? Aren't kids going to want to ride that? Won't they be shocked to discover that Kermit and Miss Piggy aren't promoting a kid-friendly attraction? Will parents even be warned that this isn't a kiddie coaster? No idea. I also question The Muppets being next to Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, but they had Lightning McQueen's Racing Academy next door for years, so who knows? Apparently theming has gone out the window at the Disney parks. Except to say that the new Disney Villains that replaced the Cars show isn't quite so bad a fit.

But back to Monstropolis which, admittedly, looks very cool...

© Disney

Back when speculation was running hot that Muppet's Courtyard wasn't long for this world, I was perplexed as to why they didn't come up with a new Star Wars Original Trilogy ride to sit between Star Wars: Star Tours and Galaxy's Edge (AKA "Star Wars Land")...

Map and Satellite Image © Google

I understand wanting to keep Galaxy's Edge an immersive experience, but come on... you could have a new Star Wars ride to link them together at least. Then put Monstropolis in the parking lot back there...

Map and Satellite Image © Google

It's getting increasingly disappointing how Disney doesn't seem to give a shit about their parks telling a story and being consistent in their theming. They could have bit the bullet and put Monstropolis above Toy Story Land so that the Pixar stuff was together, but no. They could have put a new Muppets attraction in the Lightning McQueen's Racing Academy building and built a new Muppets area around the re-theme of Rockin' Roller Coaster , but no. They could have saved the Disney Villains stage show for the new Disney Villains Land, but no. They could have made even a tiny effort to bridge the two Star Wars areas, but no. There's absolutely zero shits given about maintaining any illusions of immersion. It's just shoe-horn shit in anywhere you want so long as it's got Disney Intellectual Property slapped on it and who gives a fuck?

There are so many things that I think would disappoint Walt Disney about the way his vision for Disney World have been laid to waste. He wanted the parks to keep growing and changing so they were always relevant and reflecting emerging technologies. But there's a way to do that and preserve the idea that you're escaping into other worlds and not just visiting attractions in a theme park.

Disney Parks has so badly lost their way, and these new projects will be a point of no return for the idealogy that's made them so good for so long. Sure they're going to have some killer rides... but that isn't always everything.

For two decades my work took me to Orlando. The first six years were for a side-hustle doing contract work. The remaining fourteen were doing volunteer work with an organization that I fell into while working my side-hustle.

During that time I spent a lot of time at the Walt Disney World Resort. So much time that I grew tired of goofing around in the parks, and usually only went to Epcot to eat because I loved the restaurants and they were an easy bus-ride from whatever Disney hotel I was staying at. The biggest exception being when my mom wanted to go with me for something to do, usually around Christmastime. There were other times that co-workers would convince me to brave the crowds and ride the attractions, but it was increasingly rare up to when I stopped going in 2019.

I've always loved the Disney parks, ever since my parents took a side-trip to Disneyland when I was a kid. But what I loved more then experiencing the parks was the imagineering design behind the parks. Over the years I've bought loads of books and watched all the documentaries and commentaries I could find about building Disneyland and the other resorts around the world.

For the longest time, Disney imagineers put a huge amount of thought into what they were creating. Above everything else in their work, it was the story the governed every decision they made. There was a reason for everything they did, and even the smallest details are sweated over.

Now-a-days, Disney management doesn't seem to give a shit. Story? Who cares! Just slap intellectual property on everything and call it good! Doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense that Mickey Mouse is being injected into the attraction, just fucking do it!

And here we are, losing one of the most well-storied areas of Walt Disney World: Dinoland U.S.A. in Animal Kingdom. The story of which has been well documented by the guy over at Poseidon Entertainment...

I knew about the very cool story of Dinoland U.S.A. because I bought the Animal Kingdom "Making Of" book on one of my earliest Orlando work trips. That was probably four to five months after the park opened, and the story of the land was still important...

Now, of course, the idea of "story" at the parks is fairly antiquated. Which is a shame. It sure adds a lot of depth to the park.

I guess it was good while it lasted.

Now everybody is going to have to go to Universal Studios, I guess.

I used to go to Orlando 3 or 4 times a year for work, so it was inevitable that I would get caught in a hurricane at some point. And I did twice. Although since Orlando is so far inland, a hurricane there is not the same as it is when you're on the coast. It's heavy rains and strong winds while life goes on (mostly) as usual.

Except when it doesn't.

Your flight might get delayed or canceled (but that's always a possibility... hurricane or no hurricane). Maybe places will close early because they know people likely won't be wanting to go out in the weather. Or maybe plans will have to be changed for one reason or another. But it's rarely something serious.

Except when it is.

For one of the hurricanes I was in town, Walt Disney World actually closed. Which almost never happens because Disney loves money, and shuttering the parks for even a day costs them millions. This past Thursday when Hurricane Milton was battering Florida, I thought to look at the Disney app (which is still on my phone) only to see this...

Walt Disney World is open 365 days a year, so seeing everything closed tells you how serious they were viewing the situation. A quick Google search reveals that Walt Disney World has only been closed 11 times since they opened in 1971, which really drives it home.

You'd think that people would appreciate how Disney is willing to shut down to keep people safe when things get serious, but not everybody feels that way. Some people were livid that Disney would dare ruin their vacation by closing. Never mind that a potentially deadly hurricane was poised to tear through the place, WHAT ABOUT MEEEEE?!?

The parks were open the following day (Friday) and no worse for wear, so all those people griping about their "ruined" vacation only lost one day.

When it comes to Milton, it's a miracle that things weren't much worse than they were. They were certainly projected to be. I was seriously wondering if Disney World was going to be trashed or at least seriously damaged. But it wasn't, and Mickey Mouse lives to take our money another day.

Didn't my weekend just get started a minute ago? How is it that it's almost over? Again? Oh well, it's not like this blog is suffering along with me... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Potential! I wasn't going to tune into the new ABC show High Potential because it's a remake of a French series I've seen (called HIP: High Intellectual Potential). But then I saw Kaitlin Olson was starring, and decided it would certainly be unique enough to merit a watch, even if the stories were the same...

I like it. Same but different. And Kaitlin Olson continues to impress.

   
• Murder Bear! This year's Fat Bear Week has been a real drama-fest this year. Fat Bear 469 murdered Fat Bear 402 on camera. And apparently murder is disqualifying behavior, because Fat Bear 469 is nowhere to be found on the bracket...

On the discussion board somebody wrote "Rest in Power, Fat Bear 402," and so that's where we're at now.

   
• Talent! The number of actors passing lately has been really disheartening. Now John Amos (of SO many amazing roles in TV and movies) and Ken Page (whose iconic voice gave life to Oogie Boogie in The Nightmare Before Christmas) are gone. John Amos hit with Good Times, but my favorite roles were from Coming to America and The West Wing (where his talent was really allowed to shine)...

And Ken Page? Oh man...

Disney may have disavowed The Nightmare Before Christmas when it debuted, but they have sure been leaning into the characters hard in recent years. Not only does Oogie Boogie dominate Halloween at Disneyland with his Oogie Boogie Bash, but he was just added as a racer in Disney Speedstorm...

Rest in Peace, sirs. The characters you created will live on.

   
• So Not Weird! They need to get Haley Joel Osment on Saturday Night Live stat...

I don't know how it's possible, but he captures J.D. Vance better than J.D. Vance does.

   
• UNSUBSCRIBE!!! I love adidas footwear. Their Terrex Swift R2 Mid Gtx boots are the best pair of shoes I've ever owned. They're the only shoes that I spent money to have repaired when they wore out (twice) because I just didn't want to let them go. Eventually I purchased replacements for my beloved shoes. But instead of going through Zappos.com as I usually do, I made the huge mistake of buying them direct from Adidas. And now I get fucking emails from them EVERY DAMN DAY. How many fucking pairs of shoes do you think i need? My pair of Terrex Swift R2 Mid Gtx lasted five years (with repairs). And here's the deal... YOU CANNOT UNSUBSCRIBE BECAUSE THEIR UNSUBSCRIBE LINK DOESN'T WORK!

I abhor shit like this. I think this is actually illegal in Washington State? But here's where it gets worse. There is NO option on their website... none that I could find anyway... where you can tell them not to email you. All you can do is subscribe to more lists...

If I got an email once a month... even every-other-week, I wouldn't be phased. BUT EVERY FUCKING DAY?!? How is this anything less than harassment? Who the fuck could possibly want this?

   
• And speaking of WA! For the record? Johnny Cash was talking about Mattawa, WASHINGTON STATE IN 'MURICA... not Mattawa, Ontario in Canada... when he said he's been "everywhere."

Bet on it.

   
• THE AD LITERALLY WENT TO A PORN SITE YOU ASSHOLES!! Facebook doesn't give a single fuck about anything but money. You can report ads for linking to porn sites, but Facebook never looks at where their ads go when you click, so it doesn't matter. So long as the ad itself isn't pornographic, they don't care who sees it.

Well, I give up. Facebook closes their eyes to absolutely everything... porn, scams, abuse... they don't care so long as the money keeps rolling in.

   
And now back to the rest of my rapidly diminishing Sunday. Or what's left of it, anyways.

As I mentioned way too many times, my favorite thing to do at Walt Disney World is eat. I love their beautifully-themed, over-priced, high-end restaurants which have delicious food.

But I also like the snacky things... like the churros, popcorn, and fries. It's all good because you're in Walt Disney World. But you know the one snack thing that I love more than any other? Dole Whip. My favorite is the original Pineapple Dole Whip you can get in Adventureland. But there's also Orange Bird's Sunshine Tree Terrace, which has Orange and other flavors (like Strawberry). Disney Springs and some of the Disney hotels also have various varieties of Dole Whip... all of them very tasty.

I had mentioned to my friends who actually work at the resort how I was sad I couldn't have a Dole Whip Float whenever I want... and how jealous I was that they could have it whenever they want.

They're response? "Oh but you can!"

And they gifted me a big bag of Dole Whip mix (that they got on Amazon)...

The stuff is dairy-free and vegan, fat-free, cholesterol-free, gluten-free, peanut-free, and totally delicious. All you have to do is mix it with water! The bag makes 89 servings(!) and is meant to be run through a soft-serve machine. I don't have one of those, but I do have a Ninja CREAMi machine. You just mix 2 cups of water with 2/3 cup of mix, freeze it in the CREAMi canister overnight, then run it through on the "Frozen Yogurt" setting. Simple.

And it tastes exactly like what you get at Walt Disney World. Probably because it is what you get at Disney World. You can pipe it through a big star-tip if you want it to look more like Dole Whip, but it'll take practice to make it swirl correctly...

Don't worry, my swirl with get better as I work on it!

   
There's also a "copycat" recipe floating around which you can make in your blender (if you don't have a soft serve or CREAMi machine) that we tried...

• 1 scoop of vanilla ice cream
• 2 cups of frozen pineapple chunks
• 4oz. of pineapple juice

It's tasty... but not as sweet as the real stuff (which might be a plus for some people). It tastes much more like actual pineapple than Dole Whip does. It also lacks the various stabilizers and gums which makes the original so darn creamy. We struggled to get my Ninja Blender to mix the stuff properly, so we ended up mixing in more pineapple juice. I think if I would have used more ice cream with it, then it might have tasted more authentic. For what it is, it's a terrific treat. But it ain't Dole Whip.

So...

If you love Dole Whip like I do, buying the actual mix will get you there. If you don't have a soft serve or CREAMi machine, you might try freezing the mixture in ice cube trays and pulverizing the cubes in a blender or food processor with a little pineapple juice to try and get it to work that way.

Then close your eyes, take a bite, and you're at a Disney park!

If I were to have a regret over my trip to Walt Disney World, it would be that I didn't go to the Polynesian Village Resort for Tonga Toast, and I didn't get any Spicy Hummus Fries from Spice Road Table in Epcot's Morocco Pavilion.

Everything else I wanted to do (namely ride all the attractions which came out after my list visit and eat at some of my favorite places) I did. I try not to have regrets in life, but... Enter Copycat Recipes.
   

Tonga Toast

This amazing breakfast treat hails from the two breakfast restaurants at Polynesian Village Resort is pretty simple. Take a really thick slice of sourdough bread, cut a pocket in one side, shove banana slices in it, then dredge in a egg/milk/vanilla wash, deep fat fry, then coat in a cinnamon-sugar mix.

It's incredible.

I looked at three separate copycat recipes and came up with my own vegan version which uses almond milk for regular milk and egg substitute for eggs. No, it's not going to be an exact flavor match, but the milk/egg thing isn't a big part of the flavor profile, so it's perfectly fine. But the bigger difference in my recipe? I am not using a massive slice of bread because I would have to drag out my deep fat fryer to cook it. Instead I will use "regular-thick" bread and put the bananas and sugar on top because that will only require an inch of oil in a small skillet.

The result was darn tasty...

Now, I want to be very clear. I didn't cheat this. I didn't blast a skillet with cooking spray and fry it up like you'd normally make French Toast. I did indeed use enough oil to cover the toast, then submerged it so it was deep fat fried. Because it's the slow deep fat frying that gives it a different, crispy texture which is superior to regular French Toast. So good.

I was going to bake the bananas a bit to simulate the cooking that bananas get being inside the bread in real Tonga Toast, but ultimate passed on that because it occurred to me that the bananas in real Tonga Toast have so much bread around them that they don't get very cooked. Just warned a bit.

Maybe next time I'll bake a loaf of sourdough, pull out the deep fat fryer, and do this up right. But probably not, because what I ended up with had all the taste that I wanted out of real Tonga Toast.
   

Spicy Hummus Fries

While more like "mini falafel loaves" than "hummus fries," these fantastic staples of the Morocco Pavilion finally got a permanent home at Spice Road Table restaurant (after being a dish at the Epcot Food & Wine Festival). The first time I tried them in 2017, I ate double-orders for lunch and dinner most days I was there. They're heavenly. I love falafel, so it's not a shock that I love these vegan treats. What makes them different than falafel is the addition of spicy spices and the vegan chipotle mayo sauce, which takes them to the next level.

I only found one copycat recipe. And while the results from their recipe are pretty close, the sauce is different, but not bad at all. Overall, I really liked this recipe, and will absolutely be making them again...

Kinda like a falafel pita sandwich without the pita, I guess?

And now I really need to set aside Walt Disney World and get back to my Real Life. If that's even possible.

Finishing up with my entries on my recent(?) trip to Walt Disney World... I thought I'd end my near THREE WEEKS(!) of Disney-related posts by talking about the future.

As summed up in my entry about the announcements of D23, Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World is getting its own version of Cars Land. I had thought that it was being put BEHIND Frontierland...

But nope. It's going INSIDE Frontierland, and they're paving over the Rivers of America to get it there...

Now, on its surface, this doesn't seem like the worst idea... for Walt Disney World (the same thing cannot be said for the original at Disneyland, which is sacred). The rafts to Tom Sawyer Island (not to mention the island itself) is hardly popular any more. And the Liberty Square Riverboat barely has people on it most times. So why not pave it over and put in attractions which people will actually want to experience?

When I was in Magic Kingdom on my trip, I didn't want to visit Tom Sawyer Island, but I did want to say good bye to what the park would be losing. So every time I walked around the "river" I was sure to take a good look...

And then I had pause.

It's not that the attractions on the river and on the island are not very popular and it would be good to have something people will actually want to visit... it's the aesthetic of what the river and island provide for the area around them.

Frontierland and Liberty Square have their entire vibe defined by their location being along that lazy river. It's scenic. It's relaxing. And walking along the body of water makes it feel a bit cooler on a sweltering Summer day. Removing it is going to have a serious affect on visiting these areas. An argument could be made that a river is a bit out of place in Frontierland given the dusty frontier town they're striving to replicate, but that's not the point. It's not what it's supposed to be, it's what it is now.

I think that the area will suffer once the river is gone.

Though I'd have a tough time arguing with Disney management to keep investing the money needed to maintain and improve the river and island when they're clearly one of the most unpopular areas in the park.

And then we need to jump over to Disney Hollywood Studios, where Monstropolis (the city from Monsters, Inc.) will be located. Rumor has it that they will be paving over Muppets Courtyard for that (and probably blowing into the employee parking lot behind it a bit)...

Map and Satellite Image © Google

Now if Muppets Courtyard has to be leveled for anything, I'd rather it be paved over to join Star Wars Land (on the left) with the Star Wars Star Tours ride (on the right), and be used to add another Original Trilogy attraction...

Map and Satellite Image © Google

That would complete Star Wars Land and also give us a bit more Original Trilogy to experience which, let's be honest, is what everybody would rather have anyway. Then Monstropolis could be put in its entirety in the employee parking lot like so...

Map and Satellite Image © Google

Now, this would necessitate some serious Imagineering because foot traffic would have to go over (or under!) the Cypress Drive access road, but doing that would further separate Monstropolis from the rest of the park, so I choose to think of it as a good thing. And of course they'd have to find a spot for employees to park, but that's the easiest of all problems to solve because they could be shuttled from the lot to the park fairly easily. And the payoff? Well, just look at how big Monstropolis would be able to be! You could really do it justice in an area like that (plus have room for expansion).

And lastly we need to jump over to Animal Kingdom, where Tropical America Land will go. I think the biggest problem with this entire concept is that I can't see how any of it relates to animals. It's built around Indiana Jones Adventure and a Casa Madrigal boat ride? WTF? There's also the matter of dinosaurs being incredibly popular with kids and DinoLand USA being fairly well done (and dinosaurs being, you know, animals)... which makes it a little tough to think about it being ripped out. But, again, I'm guessing they wouldn't be paving it over if it were popular enough to keep. And if DINOSAUR wasn't such a badly nerfed version of the original Countdown to Extinction.

And there it is. The future. Maybe. Because Disney could just be announcing all this to counter what's happening over at Universal Studios' "Epic Universe." They could cancel any of it or all of it at any time.

Which would be pretty bad, because they certainly needs to do something to stay relevant in the Florida theme park business.

Here's the thing... even the "cheap" Walt Disney World resorts are expensive. That being said, they're also decent accommodations where even the least expensive of them are clean, comfortable, and safe. On top of that, all Walt Disney World resort hotels have a few nice perks (like early-entry to the parks, free transportation, and 7-day Lightning Lane pre-booking... plus Deluxe Resorts also get extended park hours some days). This is a far cry from what you used to get with a Disney resort stay (my favorites being having your purchases sent back to your room and the free Magical Express bus from the airport direct to your hotel), but it's better than nothing, and I still prefer to stay on-site than not.

Thanks to my many years of having work in Orlando, I've actually stayed at all but three of the resorts. Granted, this was years ago, so many of the ongoing remodels have been lost on me... but I can comment on what I experienced at the time. I know that most people would separate out the "Villas," "Bungalows," "Towers," and whatever other "Vacation Club" extensions they keep adding to the resorts, but I've not stayed at any of them so I won't (though I have stayed at Saratoga Springs, a DVC resort).

But first, a warning... these resorts are huge and there are many different types of rooms and locations for rooms. So my experience might not be your experience. Plus Disney is remodeling and changing things all the time, which means my experience may not even be relevant any more!

Before I get to my rankings, I should also disclose that there's three properties I haven't stayed at...

• Old Key West Resort (DVC-DELUXE $$$$). It's a Vacation Club property, which doesn't mean I can't stay there... I just never ended up there because it wasn't on the roster I was on. There are Vacation Club members who made this their home property and love it, so it definitely has its fans.
• Riviera Resort (DVC-DELUXE $$$$). This is the newest hotel in the most magical place on earth and I have zero desire to stay there. Looks like a big, boring cracker box of a building that could be a hotel anywhere. I'm sure it's been randomly farted on with Disney IP (intellectual property), but it's just not interesting enough for me to bother. If I was still working in the area I'd probably end up here eventually, and I'm sure the rooms are amazing, it's just not the experience I want when staying at WDW. Maybe I'll go if the restaurants have good word of mouth?
• Shades of Green. This is an "Armed Forces Recreational Center," which means you have to be an active member of the armed services or have retired from service to even step foot on the property. I think there are special exceptions beyond that, but it's things like being discharged yet having earned a Purple Heart or having been a Prisoner of War or having otherwise suffered serious injury or been disabled in combat. There may be other ways, but they're all military-related and off-limits to me.

And now for my rankings...

The Wilderness Lodge in 1997 from a photo I shot while boating on Bay Lake!

1. Wilderness Lodge (DELUXE $$$$$). The first Disney World hotel I stayed at, and is still my favorite. Easily the best theming of any property, I love the design of absolutely everything this hotel has to offer. It's like staying in a grand lodge in the Pacific Northwest... in Florida. I love the rooms with their woodsy aesthetic and spacious accommodations. The only downside is that the restaurants, which used to be my absolute favorite, are now sub-par for vegetarians. And what's worse, you can't really work with the servers or kitchen to accommodate your specific needs like you used to because so many of the dishes have components that are pre-made. I wish the top-tier resorts would go back to being more flexible in their food options, because the "efficiency model" they're running is killing the dining experience for people like me. But, yeah, the primo location, the beautifully appointed public spaces... and even the price, which isn't terrible (when compared to other Deluxe resorts near Magic Kingdom). I could stay here every time I not be disappointed.
2. Animal Kingdom Lodge (DELUXE $$$$$). This would likely overtake my top spot if not for two reasons... 1) You have to get a pricey Savannah View room to make it worth staying here... and 2) It is really far away from everything except Animal Kingdom. That being said, it was also designed by Peter Dominick (who designed the Wilderness Lodge) and is absolutely beautiful. The theming and details are all top-notch. Plus they have the best restaurants of any of the resorts. The only negative is the drumming. Cast members have drumming performances often. There's drums for kids to bang on. It's all drums all the time. I like it for atmosphere, but it's too much and get very, very tiring if you stay here for several days. But hey, if you can afford an amazing Savannah View room, there's nothing quite like seeing animals right out your window.
3. Polynesian Village Resort (DELUXE $$$$$$). To a great many people, this is their favorite resort in all of Disney World and I get it. Excellent theming. Great restaurants (Tonga Toast, baby!). Wonderful rooms. A killer location. The Polynesian has it all. Maybe if it was my first resort it would be my #1, but I just prefer the architecture and aesthetics of the Wilderness Lodge and Animal Kingdom Lodge. Still, this is an amazing resort... assuming you can afford the price tag. My biggest negative, and it pains me to say this because I absolutely love the movie, is that Disney has leaned hard into the Lilo & Stitch theming. I think it was a much more authentic and immersive experience before they did that. Then they slapped Moana on top of that! Still, if you've got the ungodly amount of cash required, I wouldn't miss an opportunity to stay here because it still has a lot of the magic that makes it such a great Walt Disney World resort. In many ways I'd say that this is the most "Disney" of the resorts they have.
4. Caribbean Beach Resort (MODERATE $$$). Back before Skyliner came, this was my #7 pick. But with the addition of a Skyliner stop (and nicely renovated rooms), this has become the best of the "moderate" resorts. Sure the bathrooms are cramped (which makes showering a chore) but otherwise the rooms are clean, fresh, and comfortable. Plus the atmosphere is expansive and laid back in a way that the newer, more expensive Riviera doesn't have at all. The only negative is that Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom can't be reached by Skyliner so you have to rely on busses which make many stops to cover the entire resort. We never had to jump to the more plentiful Riviera busses with their one stop (as some people do), but I guess that's an option if you don't mind a walk to get back to your room.
5. Pop Century Resort (VALUE $$). I liked this "value" hotel before it got a Skyliner stop, but now that it has one? It's very good. It's always been my go-to resort to recommend whenever people ask me where they should stay in Walt Disney World that's not crazy-expensive. It's still pricey, of course (all WDW rooms are), but it's got value for the money. Except for the restaurant, which is inexplicably not that great and extremely limited. That aside, the big downside here is that everybody knows how good it is so sometimes booking it can be rough. If that happens to you, I'd invite you to look at the Art of Animation resort that's just across the pond and shares many of the things that make Pop Century such a solid choice.
6. Port Orleans Resorts (MODERATE $$$). There are two sides to the Port Orleans portfolio, and I'd give the edge to French Quarter over Riverside, if forced to choose. This is because French Quarter has Sassagoula Floatworks and Food Factory Scat Cat's Club Café, where you can get authentic beignets! (apparently the beignets have moved?) It's also the smaller of the two and closer to where you want to be. As a "moderate" resort, the rooms are perfectly clean, comfortable, and serviceable... and I believe that I've stayed here more than any other resort over the years. I never minded. It's not too far from Epcot, which is my preferred dining spot, and is near Disney Springs and their restaurants as well. But most of all it's taking inspiration from my favorite American city, New Orleans, and gets some touches just right.
7. Beach Club Resort (DELUXE $$$$$). I've stayed here twice. The first time I stayed here was in a room that was odd in weird ways. I still don't know if it was a failed studio concept room or what, but it was a very different experience from my second stay which felt more "classic hotel." This hotel is an easy walk to Epcot (just 5 minutes!)... but also within reach of Disney Studios (about a 20 minute walk)... which is pretty sweet. And speaking of sweet, this resort is home to Beaches & Cream Soda Shop which is a fantastic place to not only treat yourself to all kinds of ice cream sweets, but also eat (their grilled cheese and tomato soup is great). The aesthetic is probably best described as "Great-Grandma's Bedroom" (but apparently they got refreshed recently, so I don't know what's happening there now). Probably the best thing about this place is the Stormalong Bay water park it shares with the Yacht Club next door. It's an attraction unto itself, and worth looking into if you like that kind of thing.
8. Saratoga Springs Resort & Spa (DVC-DELUXE $$$$). The reason I like this resort so much... what really sells me on the property... is that it's within walking distance of Disney Springs and all its many amazing restaurant options (the last time I stayed here I had a five minute walk to Earl of Sandwich!). It's also fairly quiet, not attracting families with kids like with other resorts because of its lackluster-to-non-existent Disney theming and location away from the parks. If you're looking for Disney "magic" you'd be hard-pressed to find it here. But for the rest of us (and especially those of us at WDW to work?) it's a solid, though expensive, choice with wonderful rooms plus great dining within the resort and outside of it nearby. Which is to say that the reasons I like it is why many people give it a pass, and that's okay.
9. Art of Animation (VALUE $$). I moved this up several notches because, like it's sister property Pop Century, it now has a Skyliner stop. When I stayed here it was fairly new, and was erected to take the place of the other half of Pop Century that was never finished and ultimately abandoned. The big feature of this hotel is that it has large "family suite" accommodations which can sleep six people. Myself and a colleague ended up splitting one of these suites and I gotta say it's pretty nice. There's a separate bedroom with its own bathroom, so parents have a way to escape the kids for a minute. If you're a larger family, this could be your best bet. Another claim to fame? It's apparently got the largest pool of any Disney resort property, if you're into that kind of thing. The down-side is that you get one restaurant and I wasn't at all impressed. I'd advise you to go across the lake, but the offering at Pop Century isn't much better.
10. Swan & Dolphin (DELUXE $$$$). I've only stayed at the Dolphin half, but I'm guessing it's pretty similar to the Swan half? I dunno. These properties are infamous for being non-Disney properties on the Disney property. I think Disney needed cash, so they took money from Marriott which allowed them a spot to build hotels which have the same benefits of a Disney Deluxe Hotel but at a lesser cost. And you do get serious good value for the money at these properties (better room for less!). Though it's not perfect. We went mini-golfing at Fantasia Gardens and took the Swan's bus back to Magic Kingdom. Except we had a very long wait before the bus arrived. We would have been better off walking to Disney Studios and taking their bus. This is a serious problem. I'm guessing the total time spent is no less than staying at an off-site hotel. So... more bang for your buck over similarly-priced Disney resorts. But ultimately lesser in important ways too.
11. Contemporary Resort (DELUXE $$$$$). Back in the day, this used to be a hotel that I was thrilled to be dropped in. It was smart, elevated, and beautiful. Plus it had a really good location when it comes to getting to the Magic Kingdom. But then... it started going downhill. The atrium keeps getting all kinds of crap shoved into it, needlessly distracting from the cool monorail run and gorgeous Mary Blair mural. This includes one of the worst restaurants in WDW, Chef Mickey's, which turned me off of eating buffets (except for Boma at Animal Kingdom Lodge, of course). It's trash despite costing over $50 for dinner and breakfast! Some of the rooms got an Incredibles makeover, which sounds seriously cool (seriously, the vibe of The Incredibles is a perfect match for this hotel), though I hear Disney did it on the cheap so it's not as good as it could have been. Regardless, some of the public areas are still pretty cool despite it all, and it's a classic resort that helped to define what it means to stay with Disney, so I'm not opposed to staying there. I just wish Disney would give it the love it deserves and make it be worth the cost to stay.
12. Coronado Springs Resort (MODERATE $$$). This is not a brilliantly Disney-themed property with a fabulous location... but I do like staying here because it was so perfect for my work needs. It's got nice rooms. It's quite. It's got a great size desk. Plus it's now got Toledo, a tapas restaurant that I would never tire of eating at. And if I ever do get tired of it, Epcot is right next door and a short bus ride to all their great restaurants. There were many questionable choices made when they built this property, but for the money it's a good choice to be on-site and get the dwindling benefits that a Disney hotel gets you. Plus they opened up the "Gran Destino Tower" (home of Toledo) which looks pretty great, especially for a "moderate" resort, so if this appeals to you, you might want to check into it.
13. Grand Floridian Resort & Spa (DELUXE $$$$$$$). This is THE premiere resort at Walt Disney World, and tops many people's lists at WDW for its luxury and opulence. And the rooms are nice, I guess... albeit a bit bland and not themed or utilized well. But luxurious? Not even. It's all done on the cheap. It's fake, and designed badly. To me it has the stylings of a brothel and the restaurants are overpriced and aren't great for vegetarians with options I didn't care for. It's just a big, faux-fancy, wildly-expensive hotel that happens to be close to Magic Kingdom, and I just don't get the love for it. The only thing I thought it did well was the activities, but are they worth the cost? No. If I was the one footing the bill for the one time I stayed there, I would have been pissed. I hear it's been updated recently... so maybe it's better now? Other than visiting during the holidays to get me some gingerbread, I rarely end up here even to visit.
14. Boardwalk Inn (and Conference Center) (DELUXE $$$$$). The whole concept of an old-timey hotel on a boardwalk is a great start. Add to that the easy walkability to both Epcot and Disney Hollywood Studios, and it's tough to beat a stay at the Boardwalk. Except... the resort feels way too expensive for what you get. Even the rooms overlooking the parking lot are pricey. But if you want a view of the boardwalk itself? Hope you got some serious cash on hand. Another ding to the property are the pools, which seem so weak compared to what you get across the lake at Beach Club (also a DELUXE). Overall this isn't a bad resort at all. I'd stay here in a heartbeat. But not at the money they're charging.
15. Yacht Club Resort (DELUXE $$$$$). Conceptually, this resort should place higher than the Boardwalk Inn above. But there's one thing that makes that impossible for me. It's frickin' boring. I'd far rather stay at the Beach Club next door because it feels more fun. Which is a shame, because it's definitely a pretty property. It's just that I expect something more exciting when staying with Disney. On the plus side, you do get access to the Stormalong Bay water park shared with the Beach Club.
16. All Star Music Resort (VALUE $). Full disclosure... I haven't actually stayed here. But I did crash here with a colleague when I didn't feel like finding my way back to the off-site Hilton after having too much to drink at the Victoria Falls Lounge (in the Animal Kingdom Lodge). That counts, doesn't it? The hotel is just so... basic... but you do get whatever perks are left when staying at a Walt Disney World resort, so that's about the best thing I can say about it. If you're on a tight budget but want Disney accommodations, this is an option for you.
17. All Star Movies Resort (VALUE $). This would be my dead-last choice because it's just so far removed from everything and it's older... but at least it was fairly quiet. If you are just looking for a basic, relatively cheap, no-frills hotel within the Disney Bubble, this will serve you well if your expectations are kept in check. I only stayed here once for one day and it was fine.
18. All Star Sports Resort (VALUE $). I'm not into sports and when I stayed here it was incredibly noisy. I needed to be able to work, and that was made far more difficult with a bunch of screaming kids running around (and not just little kids, a lot of older kids as well). I did my level best to not stay here because once was enough. Maybe if you're lucky enough to get a quiet stay it's good?