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What Are Little Girls Made Of?

Posted on May 29th, 2020

Dave!"It is impossible to build one’s own happiness on the unhappiness of others. This perspective is at the heart of Buddhist teachings." — Daisaku Ikeda

Like a lot of people, I'd imagine, I have been looking towards my faith to find comfort in and make sense of this world we find ourselves living in. To which people are all "Awww, me too!" Until they realize that the faith I'm talking about is not Christianity, which leads to an uncomfortable silence as my imagination has them adding me to their okay-to-hate-list.

Because that's pretty much how it goes, doesn't it? Your interpretation of a special book says that it's okay to hate certain people, so you ignore the larger message of love and forgiveness and focus on the hate because it's so much easier. And since your interpretation serves as justification for your hate, you've got some kind of divine permission which makes it all okay no matter how ugly it may be.

I'm sure I've been hated for a lot of things. I came to this conclusion early in life thanks to being smart in a world that prefers ignorant, unremarkable in a world that prefers beautiful, sickly in a world that prefers virility, and willful in a world which prefers submissiveness. Somebody feels I fall short of an idealized goal, so I get hated for it. And, yeah, it can hurt. I've bought into the brainwashing as well... because how could anybody not... and I've spent plenty of time hating myself too. No need to point out where I don't measure up because, honestly, I'm right there with you.

Attacking on my masculinity (or lack thereof) is the go-to way that people have been hating on me for decades. I've been called "faggot" more times than I can count. I'm not gay... but that doesn't matter because I'm not masculine. And since masculine guys (and masculine-worshipping guys and gals) think that being masculine is everybody's ultimate goal in life, it's easy to throw a little hate my way.

When I was younger, it bothered me. I may not have even fully understood what the word meant, but it must be something terrible if it was being directed at me, right? I'm a nerdy weak kid, so the strong perfect people pretty much had no choice but to bully me. It's my fault for choosing to be a nerdy weak kid, after all. I deserve it.

Then I grew up, stepped out of my bubble, went out into the world, and started meeting actual gay people, for whom the slur had been created. I quickly learned that these were some of the strongest people I had ever met. They had to be in order to survive a society which had been designed to persecute and hate them. — And yet I'm supposed to be upset that somebody wants to count me amongst their ranks? Holy shit, what an absolute honor. Of course I've met people in the LGBTQ community that are total assholes who are happy to bully me right along with the rest of society's toxic elements... but, by and large, the LGBTQ community has been far more kind and accepting of me than any other, which is why most of the people I love, respect, and admire make their home there.

So, yeah, people call me a "faggot" whether it's intended to be imasculating or because they think I'm gay. And the whole time I'm laughing because I see it as such a huge compliment... all while being angry and sad that such an ugly word has been created to hurt people I love.

And so...

All of this came crashing down on me this morning when I read the latest news concerning Brian Sims, a Representative from Pennsylvania. Yesterday he posted a live melt-down video because Republican House members tested positive for COVID-19... but only told other Republicans about it. People who had been in contact with those testing positive were still showing up to chambers... unmasked, and Democrats were never told a thing. They only found out because a reporter found out. Representative Sims disclosed that the reason he's so angry is that he's high-risk for infection because he donated a kidney, and it was a horrific scenario for his fellow representatives and staff who might have taken the coronavirus back to their families unknowingly.

Fast-forward to today when Representative Sims showed up to voice his renewed disgust at how horribly Republicans had acted throughout this entire ordeal... only to have Republican Representative Jerry Knowles yell out that Sims was "a little girl" as he was finishing up his speech.

There it is...

Jerry GET OFF MY LAWN Knowles and Brian HOT AS THE FUCKING SUN Sims.

That's manly masculine man Jerry Knowles on the left and little girly girl Brian Sims on the right.

You wouldn't think "little girl" of Brian Sims because he's outraged that he was willingly exposed to people who were exposed to the coronavirus and it's risky for him to contract it because he answered the call to go under the knife and donate a kidney... would you?

I mean, holy crap, they have to practically rip you in half to get at the kidney and it's far from a cakewalk. There's significant risks during and after you donate, and if your remaining kidney fails for some reason, you are in some serious shit. You have to be made of pretty tough stuff just to consider donating a kidney.

You wouldn't think "little girl" of Brian Sims when you look at him because, let's face it, the guy is fire and just about any man on earth would be happy to look like this ruggedly handsome individual... would you?

I mean, holy crap, the guy even pals around with his big fucking manly dog...

Brian Sims looking gorgeous and hanging out with his dog.

So what could it be? What could it possibly be as to why Representative Jerry Knowles was screaming "LITTLE GIRL" across chambers while Representative Brian Sims was speaking? What?

Brian Sims looking gorgeous and hanging out with his dog.

Ohhhhh.

Oh. I see.

He was called a "little girl" because he's gay, thus not at all masculine. Yes, I recognize it all too well.

Fortunately, just like I've come to understand that people calling me "faggot" is actually an incredible compliment, Brian Sims was basking in the honor of being called a "little girl" because he knows what it actually means. Not what some bigoted old fart thinks it means... what it actually means to be a little girl growing up in the world. Having to look a certain way or act a certain way or else being told she's not a girl. Having to work harder to achieve success only to be rewarded with less. Having to deal with non-stop harassment and intimidation yet still be expected to smile. Being made to feel unsafe because "boys will be boys" somehow excuses everything, no matter how horrific. And that's just a taste of the gauntlet that little girls have to navigate. The list goes on and on. This is supposed to be an insult? Representative Knowles should be so lucky to have somebody call him a "little girl." Little girls are tough. They have to be. And a pathetic coward like Knowles wouldn't know tough if it sat on his face. What a fucking embarrassment.

Representative Brian Sims has been an interesting political figure to watch over the years. Interestingly enough, I wrote about him here on my blog a decade ago before he ever ran for office. It all started with this inspiring video...

Since then, Sims has not been without controversy. Some of it was inevitable. He's an out and proud hardcore liberal gay man in public office. There are people who are vehemently opposed to any and all of this, and I'm sure the Representative has to wade through their vitriol daily...

MAGA Cultist says Brian Sims must sick a dick to prove to me that he's gay.

His responses are sometimes shocking and controversial... sometimes surprising... sometimes funny. Sometimes, they're all three...

A young bigot calls Rep. Sims a slur, Sims calls his grandmother.

Other controversies are a bit more complex, but not at all surprising. He is, after all, a politician. And apparently you can't be a politician without being party to some shady shit. Politicians and shady shit go together like peas and carrots. He posted videos of himself confronting praying Planned Parenthood protestors that were cringe-inducing even to Planned Parenthood supporters, then issued a "non-apology apology" after the fact. He's been the subject of an ethics investigation after accepting speaking fees in violation of policies which forbid it. He regularly says and does things that are inappropriate for his office... like posting a photo of himself flashing a middle finger saying that it's his "welcome message" to Vice President Pence when he visited. I mean, come on, take the high ground so people don't have to make excuses for voting for you. If a Republican were to flip the bird as a "welcome message" to Vice President Biden, Democrats would lose their damn minds.

Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, mind you. Vice President Pence and everybody party to the Trump Administration can absolutely fuck right off. But you're a public servant and supposed to be held to a higher standard than that of a vile asshole such as myself. And hey, I'm trying to be better. Really I am. Building my happiness on the unhappiness of others is not what I'm supposed to be about. Daisaku Ikeda was not wrong when he says that it's an impossible thing to do. Every structure has to start with a strong foundation or what you build on top of it is likely to crumble.

That being said, I suppose you kind of have to cut some slack to Brian Sims and people like me for going off the rails from time to time. Just look at the horror story of the world we have to live in.

Well, okay, I deserve a little more slack than Brian Sims does. Because at the end of the day, he gets to look like Brian Sims and I... well... I most definitely do not...

Brian Sims looking gorgeous and hanging out with his dog.

I'm allowed to be a little bit bitter about that.

   

Do-Nothing Democrats In The Wild

Posted on May 14th, 2020

Dave!I don't know which I detest more... Kool-Aid Drinking Conservatives or Kool-Aid Drinking Liberals. At least with Kool-Aid Drinking Conservatives they can usually point to That One Thing which makes them a Kool-Aid Drinking Conservative. Let's pick abortion as an example. They are against abortion, everything else is secondary, so they live and die for their Republican candidates and the GOP no matter how big of a stupid Republican asshole ends up in office. Mitch McConnell has built his entire existence as a career politician relying on exactly this kind of idiocy. He can literally do no wrong and get away with as much hypocritical fucked up bullshit as he wants because his base will support him and believe him no matter what he does or how obviously he lies.

Whether it's abortion, guns, lower taxes, or the right of Christians to persecute people they don't like, Conservatives know exactly which hot-button issues sends them to the voting booth over and over again. And that's regardless of all the other issues Conservatives saddle them with that are against their best interest. There's always That One Thing which keeps them loyal. "Sure I can't afford health care, the water is poisoned, and I have to work three jobs just to scrape out a living, but at least my local hospital can refuse to treat queers!"

That's fucked up, but I can kinda respect it. I feel the same way about Daylight Saving Time. I fucking hate it, it's fucking stupid, and I am so fucking sick of it that I often joke about voting for whichever candidate promises to get rid of it forever. Asshole politicians come and go, but dicking with the clocks twice a year is (apparently) forever.

But it's not the same for Kool-Aid Drinking Liberals, is it?

Some of them have That One Thing... like a woman's right to choose, perhaps. But most of the liberals I know can't boil it down like that. They can't point to a single issue and say "THAT'S WHY I'M A BLEEDING HEART LIBERAL!" Their reasoning is usually far more complex and esoteric. Ask them and you'll end up with something like "I'm a liberal because I believe in human rights and equality!"... and then they will yammer on for hours to rationalize their blind devotion to the DNC. And I get it. Honestly I do. I usually vote for Democrats now-a-days because even though they are bought and paid for by lobbyists just like Republicans, at least I know that social issues which favor regular people over billion dollar corporations and favor oppressed minorities over religious persecution will (hopefully) be addressed.

I feel you on all of that.

But it's still horribly frustrating for me to understand drinking the DNC Kool-Aid and believing that Democratic politicians are above reproach and can do no wrong.

Take for example, Senior Senator Patty Murray from my home state of Washington.

Senator Patty Murray
Public domain photo provided by the United States Congress

I fucking despise her.

Well, I should clarify... I despise all politicians, but I really despise Senator Patty Murray.

I've disagreed with her on several matters. But my true loathing started after she voted against affordable drug re-importation from Canada. She offered up all kinds of fucking bullshit to excuse her stance... like questioning the "safety" of allowing drugs coming from Canada... but it was all crap. I mean, where are all the news stories of Canadians dying by the thousands due to bad drugs? You won't find them. What you will find is hundreds of stories of thousands of Americans who can't afford critical drugs and have to go without, damaging their health and ending their lives. No, the real reason that Patty Murray voted against drug re-importation was because she takes piles of money from Big Pharma and has a vested interest in protecting their profits.

Just like all the other politicians, Senator Murray has her price, and is willing to sell out herself and the State of Washington to anybody who will pay it.

And Democrats don't fucking care.

I've heard all the excuses, but this is my favorite: "She's a senior politicians with lots of power in the Senate! We can't lose Patty Murray because then Washington State will lose the power that we get from having her entrenched in office! We need her fighting for us!" To which I can only respond "What good is all that power if she uses it against us from time to time? Shouldn't we vote in a politician who won't sell us out for lobbyist cash?" But then Democrats just take another sip of the Kool-Aid and smile. They don't care. "Vote Blue No Matter Who isn't just a catchy slogan, it's a way of life. But why can't it be a different blue than Patty Murray?

And that brings us to good ol' Mitch McConnell and his love of taking a shit on The Constitution. Yesterday the US Senate voted to allow the feds to grab your online history with NO WARRANT and NO DUE PROCESS. They can essentially spy on you online with absolutely no oversight whatsoever.

Now, don't get me wrong here... I fully support our government agencies doing what they can to fight terrorism and keep us safe. And they should absolutely be given the tools to do that. No question there at all. But to have such sweeping power without oversight? To be able to intrude on our personal lives without cause or due process? Who the fuck supports that? Who the fuck thinks this is enforcing our right to privacy and freedom?

Senators Ron Wyden (Democrat, Oregon) and Steve Daines (Republican, Montana) asked this same question and came up with the same answer I did. We absolutely don't support warrantless intrusions on American citizen lives. And they drafted an amendment to prevent it from happening. 59 out of 100 senators agreed with them and voted to support it. But because you need a 60 vote majority to pass anything, the legislation failed.

Four senators... Patty Murray (Democrat, Washington), Bernie Sanders (Democrat, Vermont), Lamar Alexander (Republican, Tennessee), and Ben Sasse (Republican, Nebraska) didn't bother to vote. Had Patty Murray showed up to do her fucking job... the job we fucking pay her to do... the amendment would have passed.

Or maybe it wouldn't. Maybe the behind-the-scenes manipulations that go on in American politics would have still set up the amendment to fail because secretly all our senators want it to fail. And all of this bullshit is just a dog and pony show that endangered politicians can point to when they run for reelection. Who can say? All I know is that worthless piece of shit Senator Patty Murray who represents me didn't bother to go on record saying that invasions of our privacy should have oversight and warrantless invasions of American lives should not stand.

Which is why the cynic in me is thinking "God only knows what skeletons the FBI dug out of Patty Murray's closet to make her sit out the vote like this."

As you might have guessed, I am fucking livid.

Because as more and more of our lives is digitized and put online, we lose more and more control over what we choose to share of ourselves. Now the feds can LEGALLY perform a search WITHOUT a warrant and WITHOUT due process. They can break into your life on a whim whether you have done anything wrong or not. Your right to online privacy is gone. So what’s next? Senator Patty Murray sits out on a vote for legislation which says we can be dragged off to prison without cause as well?

Fuck that and fuck her.

We need to find somebody new to represent us who is serious about serving the people of Washington and supporting the legislation which preserves our right to privacy. Find somebody who will actually show up to vote on legislation which affects our lives. Find somebody who will actually do their job. That "somebody" sure as hell is not Patty Murray, so let's get her out of office and find somebody new who will show up for us. President Trump is constantly railing against "Do-Nothing Democrats," which is a laughable and provable lie (most of the stuff Democrats are trying to do gets blocked by Mitch McConnell, natch) but it turns out sometimes it's true. And we deserve better.

As I close out this rant on the horrors which pile on the "new normal" for American citizens, I'd like to leave you with this clip from the film The Pelican Brief (copyright Warner Bros. Pictures)... assuming it hasn't been taken down for copyright infringement...

Julia Roberts is right. They are wrong.

UPDATE: The Patriot Act reauthorization bill passed the Senate today in an 80-16 vote. Senator Patty Murray voted "no," but fat good that does us when she fucking knew it was going to pass. And that's awful. But it could have passed with an amendment to prevent warrantless invasion of privacy when it comes to our online lives. Whether this is due to Patty Murray's incompetence or indifference is anybody's guess. All she gives a shit about is that she can point to the Patriot Act and say "I opposed that!" when it's time for her to be reelected. And, while technically true, it's actually a lie. But what else do you expect from a politician?

   

YouTubing for Dollars (and Entertainment)

Posted on May 8th, 2020

Dave!I'm not "running out of things to watch," but I am getting bored with the massive amount of stuff that's available to watch. Binging Plan Coeur (The Hook Up Plan) yesterday really made me want to revisit some of my favorite French films, but it's tough to work and read subtitles at the same time, and I can't afford to lose the hours like I did yesterday. I thought that I would instead put on some of my favorite Japanese anime since I was once fairly fluent in the language and "it's just cartoons," but that didn't work out at all. My Japanese comprehension is so out of practice now that I have to stop and think about what's being said, which is actually more distracting than reading subtitles.

I was lamenting the idea of starting in on another Netflix series when a friend in a Zoom meeting mentioned that they've been watching a lot of YouTube videos. This seemed like an excellent idea, because that's somewhere below mindless entertainment, and the YouTube app for my AppleTV will just keep playing them one-after-the-other all night long!

When I asked for suggestions, the first one out of their mouth was Mr. Beast. I was going to take a pass because the only thing I had ever heard about the guy was that he drops a lot of homophobic slurs, but my friend said "He's done so many good things," and I was intrigued.

At first I was just going to start at his first video and run through them all, but he's been doing this for six years(!) and most of his earliest videos are just him playing video games and stuff. He then made a slew of videos speculating on the wealth of other YouTubers and making fun of other YouTubers. Then he went through a phase of counting to really high numbers... reading the entire dictionary... and doing other time-consuming and inane stunts.

Yeah. No thanks.

But then things started getting interesting about two years ago.

Mr. Beast started giving away hundreds of thousands of dollars (which he gets from sponsorship and branding deals). He'd give somebody $10,000 for winning a video game challenge. He'd tip a server $20,000. He'd give random subscribers to his channel huge amounts of cash. And he also started doing crazy stuff like trashing his friend's car then give them a new car... buying every billboard in his city... spending 24 hours in prison... and having his friends do random challenges for huge cash prizes.

I began to see his appeal. His stunts are genuinely interesting.

My favorite stunt he pulled was buying a house then ordering a pizza from Dominos. He offered the pizza delivery guy $2,000 if he would help them go shopping for stuff to move into the house "for a friend," then he gave the fully furnished house to the delivery guy after they were done. Watch the video. It's pretty great...


Title screen obviously shot after the video was made... I hope.

After a while you start really getting invested in the lives of his friends. Poor Cameron kept losing challenge after challenge and never won anything. You really started to feel sorry for the guy because he was constantly made fun of. Then, finally, he won one and I was far more happy for him than I had a right to be...

Yeah, this is not highbrow entertainment, but it is entertaining. I've certainly seen worse uses of time and money on YouTube.

After my Mr. Beast marathon, I started catching up on all the YouTubers I follow but have neglected over the past several months. Like Unbox Therapy, who unboxed Apple's SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLAR WHEELS for their MacPro computer so you don't have to. It looks to be an oddly unsatisfying experience...

Don't worry. Eventually he made a skateboard out of the wheels.

Yahtzee at Escapist's Zero Punctuation took a look at Animal Crossing: New Horizons and it's oddly comforting in its raw predictability...

John Kirkwood made cheese & onion pasties... something I am dying to make and will attempt soon, because it's like a gorgeous blend of some of my favorite things...

Ryan at ScreenRant unleashed another hilarious pitch meeting...

Two amazing thinkers (who just happen to be brilliant comedians) discuss atheism and other deep topics in a fascinating conversation...

And lastly there's Johnny Harris, who actually spent his valuable time looking into flerfers (insert eye-roll)...

After all that, I was ready to start watching regular ol' television again, and started in on Ryan Murphy's latest... Hollywood... which is currently airing on Netflix. Not exactly sure this is going to be my thing, but it sure looks like it was expensive to make.

   

Well, Fuck That

Posted on May 4th, 2020

Dave!Look, if I end up contracting the Coronavirus and die, so be it. I've been as cautious as I can be. I've had a decent life. Shit happens. I'm good to go.

But if I end up dying because I was attacked by a murder hornet? Yeah, just kill me now. I have no desire to wait around for that.

As you have undoubtedly read, so-called "murder hornets" have reached the United States and... in what I can only describe as a fucking horror story and just my luck... where they've landed IS RIGHT HERE IN MY HOME OF WASHINGTON STATE!

A scary-ass murder hornet close-up.
Disturbing photo by Yasunori Koide via Wikipedia Commons

My reaction to the news?

You know that moment in Galaxy Quest where Sigourney Weaver finds out they have to run through "The Chompers" in order to keep the ship from being blown up? And her line is "Well fuck that!" but they changed the film from an R-rating to a PG-rating, so she ends up saying "Well screw that!" but her mouth is still saying the original line?

It was like that.

A scary-ass murder hornet close-up.

Murder hornets (which actually aren't called that anywhere but here in the USA where absolutely everything has to be sensationalized) are 2-inch long death-bringers from the sky who get their kicks ripping the heads off of bees and pulping their thorax to feed to their baby murder hornets.

Considering that a huge chunk of our food supply either directly or indirectly comes from bees polinating flowers and crops, this is insanely bad news. I hope that once everybody studying the Coronavirus comes up with a vaccination or cure or whatever... they turn their attention to finding a way to kill every last one of these bastards before I have to worry about running into them when I walk out to check my mailbox.

I tell you... the way things keep going on this planet, the more I am hoping for alien abduction.

   

Bullet Sunday 658

Posted on April 19th, 2020

Dave!Life in isolation may be better than no life, but your life is about to get measurably better... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Dough! I finally broke down and baked a couple loaves of my beloved SourJo bread. It was too hard going without, so I used the last of the flour I had been saving and went for it. The result was as delicous as it was beautiful...

Two loaves of delicious bread on a cooling rack.

I have decided to slice and freeze the pan-loaf so I can thaw it out as toast when I need a bread fix. The round loaf, however? That I'll be eating in copious chunks with butter and jam! I sure hope that flour, sugar, and yeast come back to grocery store shelves sometime soon.

   
• Various Corn! Oh look... John Oliver is back to drop some truth on the outrageous levels of stupid shit that have been plaguing us as of late...

The Below Deck: Sailing Yacht drop-in was particularly wonderful for those of us who are fans of the show.

   
• Terms of Agreement! HOLLYWOODREPORTER.COM: COURT RULES PHOTOGRAPHER GAVE UP EXCLUSIVE LICENSING RIGHTS BY POSTING ON INSTAGRAM. This is categorically absurd. A feature of Instagram is that people can embed and share what you post. Mashable wanted to use the image without embedding the Instagram framing. They offered money. The artist refused the amount of money. So Mashable just used the Instagram framing as it was DESIGNED TO BE USED!! If you don’t want people using your work in ways that social media was designed to be used... THEN DON’T FUCKING POST IT TO SOCIAL MEDIA! Especially a site like Instagram where you have to agree to their terms specifically allowing this kind of thing when you sign up for an account. Put your work on a PRIVATE SITE and EXPLICITLY STATE the terms of use (or lack of use) where you are sharing it. This is not rocket science. Nobody should be shocked or surprised as to what can happen when you post your work to social media. THIS IS WHY THEY CALL IT "SOCIAL MEDIA!"

   
• Sucks So Good! One of my favorite movies of all time is What We Do In The Shadows. It's hilariously funny in all the right ways. It spawned a television serious on FX that was every bit as well-done and hysterical. And now they've started their second season...

I was late to the television series (I didn't know it even existed), but now I'm crazy for it. I pre-ordered the entire season at iTunes because I just know that I will be watching them over and over again. Highest possible recommendation.

   
• Moo! Cows are truly some of the most gentle and beautiful animals. Part of why I can’t bring myself to eat them...

THAT is one content kitty right there!

   
• Color! This is probably the coolest thing I've seen all year. A series of RGB colorspace books which depict every color imaginable...

A person with white gloves turning the page of a massively thick volume of color pages in the RGB Color Atlas.
Image attributed to Brittany Schall

Two of the three volumes of the RGB Color Atlas.
Photo by Vegard Kleven

You can read about the RGB Colorspace Atlas over at Colossal. You can see the work over at artist Tauba Auerbach's site.

   
• 'MURICA! And let's wrap this up with a shut-out to the brave nurses confronting IGNORANT STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLES protesting lockdown BY BARRICADING STREETS DURING A PANDEMIC WHEN AMBULANCES MAY NEED TO GET THROUGH...

I am so fucking sick and tired of this idiotic trash that I want to vomit. You can read about it here.

   
And that's all she wrote for bullets this Sunday.

   

Your Postal Service Service

Posted on April 16th, 2020

Dave!You'd think that the time I'm not spending hanging out with friends and traveling would be spent doing something constructive. But, alas, it's not to be. You'd think I'd at least make the effort to learn a foreign language... or even clean my kitchen... but you'd think wrong.

Instead I've been playing Animal Crossing, watching movies, sleeping, and being otherwise lazy. For a month now.

But, hey, maybe next week?

And now this...

I am open to a lot of different ideas, philosophies, and beliefs. I try to have an open mind and an open heart and accept that I don't know everything (even though I obviously do). The hope is that by trying to understand why somebody thinks the way they do it will lead to a better understanding of my fellow humans. Even ideas which I am personally opposed to I try to understand and respect. But there are certain no-go areas for me. Bigotry, racism, homophobia... persecution of minorities, the poor, and disenfranchised... to name a few.

Privatization of the USPS is another no-go area. There is literally NOTHING you can tell me that will make me change my mind that this is a horrific idea. Politicians have screwed over, exploited, and villainized our postal service for decades. All of it is bullshit of the highest order... often to distract from larger problems. Because just like the fire department, our mail system is an essential service for a host of very important reasons, and privatizing it so that eventually only wealthy individuals or powerful corporations can afford to send mail is an abomination. The very notion that privatization will make the USPS "more efficient" or "cheaper" or "better" is laughably absurd, and you can just keep the fuck away from me with this idiocy. Privatization would eliminate mail as we know it and disenfranchise a goodly chunk of Americans when they eventually become deemed "unprofitable."

This Twitter thread is essential reading for every American...

By Dingus J McGee, ESQ*, OBE* (@DingusJMcGee)
   
Okay, I've been with USPS for several years now, so here's my big dumb #SaveThePostOffice thread. I don't know how many tweets it's gonna take for me to ramble through my thoughts, so stick with me. Or don't, whatever.
   
First things first: we're not taxpayer funded. At all. Sure, we get government monopolies on certain things of value (and things like cheap loan terms), but the budget isn't by the taxpayer. It's by the services provided. If you buy stamps, you fund us. If you don't, you don't.
   
Second: our financial issues, while not ENTIRELY from the 2006 PAEA bill that required 70 years of retiree prefunds, are mostly artificial. They would not exist if not for a congressional lame duck bill passed mostly by a certain political party on their way out the power door
   
Third: We're in the constitution. Literally. You know that thing you occasionally pretend to love when it serves your interests? It's explicitly in there. We're legally required to exist.
   
Fourth: Certain nameless people want us privatized because we're worth a lot of $. Even without the physical materials (truck fleet, offices, computer networks, etc), we have billions in proprietary data (route sequences, mailing lists, logistics, etc) that businesses would love
   
Fifth: You can be certain, if given the chance, certain politicians would love to GIVE AWAY this infrastructure, a la the $70 billion in digital broadcast licenses they gave away for free to Telecom companies in 1996 with no strings attached.
   
So, why should you not want this? Well, for starters, if you're not in a major city, you've been subsidized by one via the post office for decades. It's a lot cheaper to mail and deliver in dense population centers. But we charge the same in rural Delaware, too.
   
Why? Because the idea is everyone in America, no matter where they are, should have the same, guaranteed access to a valuable line of communication. A birthday card from across country is as valuable as a wedding invite from one town over.
   
Now, no one likes their junk mail, but you know what? Carrying 4 Geico ads and a Subway coupon in my satchel with your card is the reason the latter only cost $0.50 to cross the country. And if you'd like to name a cheaper way to ship a book or a record, I'd like to hear it.
   
But the one thing I pride myself on the most in terms of service is something you can guarantee won't happen in privatized, for-profit model. UPS, FedEx, Amazon, DHL, etc ALL dump packages on our docks every single day. Ones they say aren't profitable. We take them the last mile
   
Why? Because Every. Single. Address. In. America. deserves service. Even places accessible by only boat and plane. They'll be cut off in a second in a private market. Heck, it's only because of our last mile service that you don't realize the private sector already cut you out.
   
I work in a position called a "T6," or a "Carrier Technician." Put simply: USPS delivers 6 days a week, and employees work 5 days. For every 5 routes in an office, there's a T6 to carry the 6th day on each of those 5 routes who have a regular the other 5 days. Full-time position
   
In my case, that's 5 routes, averaging 700 addresses each, totaling 3,500 addresses, and approx 10K names and faces. Names and faces that I recognize, communicate with regularly, and can identify the forwarding information for, without even consulting a reference sheet.
   
I know which senior residents would like their mail delivered to the door, even if they have a curbside box. I know who needs their packages (often for home business) tucked into a corner behind the garage. Who is going to need an extra minute to get to the door to sign.
   
I know whose lawns to not cut across, whose dogs want to bite, and whose want to play. I know whose day will be made brighter with a short convo, and who wants me to go away. I know who is bad at checking the mail, and who to call for a wellness check on if it starts to pile up
   
For millions across the country, we're the only face they often see all day, even before social distancing. Their connection to the world around them, even if it's just for a comment on the weather, or to be a two minute ear for a rant about "kids these days."

Read it. Then go buy some stamps. I've bought a load of stamps and I send maybe two or three letters a year. But I rely on the USPS for RECEIVING mail every day. This is a critical time for a service so important that most people don't even have to give it a second thought. But rest assured that you will miss the USPS when it's gone.

   

I EXECUTE JUDGEMENT ON YOU, COVID-19!

Posted on April 9th, 2020

Dave!It's funny the things you miss.

Today I had a massive craving for these date-filled soft oatmeal cookies I used to eat as a kid. I haven't had them in at least a decade... maybe two... I'm not even sure if they sell them any more. Usually I would hop in my car and head to the grocery store so I could see if I could find them. But I'm trying to be a good citizen and stay socially quarantined, so I just added them to my grocery list for when I'm out of food and am forced to go get more.

In lieu of the cookies I had some Eggo toaster-waffles.

It's weird to think that we're a month into quarantine and there's still weeks to go if we want to keep from overrunning our hospitals with people dying from the Cornavirus. Every time I turn around there's some promising news about vaccine trials or drugs that may help with recovery... but it's all hypothetical until it isn't, so it's not like quarantine is ending tomorrow.

The thing I find both surprising and totally not surprising is all these churches encouraging their parishoners to break quarantine and go to church. I guess filling that donation plate is more important than keeping people safe. It wouldn't bother me so much if we could somehow tag these people so that if they end up catching COVID-19 and need hospitalization they can be denied for being fucking assholes. That would free up hospital beds for those in need who didn't actively try to get infected.

Unless...

Well I guess that's all she wrote for the Coronavirus!

And it's about time. I really want some of those cookies.

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Definition of Market

Posted on April 6th, 2020

Dave! I've been to markets around the world. INCLUDING so-called "wet markets" in China. And Thailand. And Japan. And Korea. And Vietnam. And SEATTLE... which is what The Pike Place Market would be called if we applied the same naming to it that gets applied to markets in Asia. I get so sick of dumbfucks constantly spouting their ignorant nonsense that I could just vomit. If you want to know what these "wet markets" are actually like, here you go...

I'm not saying that there are not unsanitary and possibly dangerous markets out there. Of course there are. But here in the USA we have restaurants and markets closed for hepatitis and E. coli and the like, so painting the rest of the world with the same ignorant brush is pretty pathetic.

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Bullet Sunday 656

Posted on March 29th, 2020

Dave!The news has been anything but cheerful lately, but hang in there... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• U-S-A! U-S-A-! U-S-A-! But before we get started... this video is two minutes long. I encourage you to take a hard look at every second of it. This is what happens when you call the coronavirus a "Democrat hoax" and don't take things seriously early on. And, for us here in the USA, we're not even at peak coronavirus yet because there are still states which are refusing to do anything because "We don't have many cases here." Well, yes, you dumb-fucks, the whole point is to KEEP IT THAT WAY...

Stay healthy everybody. You could end up breaking a hip or having a heart attack or chopping off a finger only to find that you can't be seen at a hospital because it's been overrun with coronavirus patients. You may consider yourself able to survive COVID-19... and that's great. But your actions could infect others who end up taking up hospital space you might need for other emergencies. It's in everybody's self interest to keep hospitals from piling up. Let's all pray it's not too late already.

   
• Trump Is Risen! Thank heavens that President Trump actually listened to people who know shit and reevaluated his plan to cancel quarantine by Easter. But before that happened, there was this, and if you close your eyes...

And if you think this parody is an exaggeration, Cheeto Jesus has been Tweeting about how big the ratings are for his Coronavirus Press Briefings, despite the fact that more and more people are dying due to the snowball effect of his initial inaction. Holy shit what a narcissistic asshole. And he just keeps getting so much worse every damn day.

   
• Warz! If you don't know who Max Brooks is, you really should. His book World War Z is sublime apocalyptic zombie-fiction which reads so realistically because his research into pandemics was brutally extensive. He's so well-studied and important to the field of disaster preparedness that he has lectured at the U.S. Navy War College, for heaven's sake. Which is why his viewpoint on current events is worth noting: 'All Of This Panic Could Have Been Prevented': Author Max Brooks On COVID-19. This is some scary shit, and goes to show just how buffoonish the Trump Administration's handling of a crisis of this magnitude has really screwed us.

   
• ACCESS! Just in case you aren't watching Star Trek: Picard... and you absolutely should be... here's your chance to do so for free. I did not like Star Trek: Next Generation that much, but am loving Picard. I loved Star Trek: Discovery even more (especially the first season), and this freebie unlocks all of CBS All Access, so you can take a look at that one as well!

   
• Live! There was a meme running through Facebook where you are asked if you can name a band you've seen live for every letter of the alphabet and one that starts with a number. I did pretty good...

  • # - (The) 1975
  • A - a-ha
  • B - B-52's
  • C - Cheap Trick
  • D - Depeche Mode
  • E - Erasure
  • F - Foster the People
  • G - Green River
  • H - Heart
  • I - Idol, Billy
  • J - James, Etta
  • K - Ke$ha
  • L - (The) Local Strangers
  • M - Matt & Kim
  • N - Nirvana
  • O - Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
  • P - Pet Shop Boys
  • Q - Queens of the Stone Age
  • R - Rogers, Nile (and Chic)
  • S - (The) Shore
  • T - Thompson Twins
  • U - Ure, Midge
  • V - (The) Vapors
  • W - Wrabel
  • X -
  • Y - Yanni
  • Z - ZZ Top

Many of these letters could have had multiple answers. I'm fairly certain I saw at least one band with a name starting with "X"... especially some of those indy bands that were playing during the whole "grunge" movement in Seattle when I was hitting the clubs... I just can't think of any.

   
• Museum Project! People are getting way creative in finding ways to spend their quarantine time. One of my absolute favorites are those who are recreating famous paintings. Some of them are absolute gold, and there's a terrific Instagram feed where they showcase some of the best ones...

A dog reclining like a portrait of a nude woman.

A young boy recreates a self-portrait by Vincent van Gogh.

A woman recreates the painting by Diego Rivera called The Flower Bearer.

A lot of creative use of toilet paper in that Insty-feed!

And there have also been some professional reimaginings that are absolutely sublime. My favorites by a wide margin are those that popped up by Dutch photographer Jenny Boot. Here is Pearl inspired by Vermeer's Girl with a Pearl Earring (housed at Museum Mauritshuis in The Hague)...

A Black woman reinacting the famous Vermeer painting Girl with a Pearl Earring.
©2019 Jenny Boot Photography

The original Vermeer...

The famous Vermeer painting Girl with a Pearl Earring.
© Museum Mauritshuis

Here is de Kus, inspired by Vermeer's The Kiss (housed at Museum Belvedere in Vienna, which I was lucky enough to see in person)...

A Black couple reinacting the famous Klimt painting The Kiss.
©2019 Jenny Boot Photography

The original Klimt...

The famous Klimt painting The Kiss.
© Museum Belvedere

And here is Davinci's Cat inspired by Lady with an Ermine (housed at Muzeum Czartoryski in Krakow)...

A Black couple reinacting the famous Klimt painting The Kiss.
©2019 Jenny Boot Photography

The original Da Vinci...

The famous Klimt painting The Kiss.
© Muzeum Czartoryski

For more of her insanely gorgeous Jenny Boot photography, you can visit their Instagram and website.

   
• Disneyland-ish? It's not just fine art which is being recreated while people are in quarantine... people are recreating Disneyland and Walt Disney World rides at home! Some of them are just beyond cool...

I guess if you can't visit in person, this is the next best thing? Kudos to those who are using their alone-time to be so creative!

   
And now we resume our self-imposed exile.

   

Bullet Sunday 655

Posted on March 22nd, 2020

Dave!Things seem grim indeed, but hang in there... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Wellington! I love penguins. In case you haven't seen it, The Shedd Aquarium in Chicago is letting them run around the place since there's no people showing up to entertain them. It's all kinds of adorable...

It's frightening to think of how zoos, aquariums, and nature parks are going to be able to continue to afford to feed the animals in their care if the outbreak goes on for an extended period of time.

   
• Bulbs! One of my favorite places in Europe... The Keukenhof in the Netherlands... is apparently not going to open on time this season due to the cornavirus outbreak. Lucky for all of us, they are giving a virtual tour of their amazing gardens...

A video is nothing like visiting in person, but better than nothing. Hopefully the quarantine will end soon so they can open for at least part of the season. Their opening season is so short any way, and all those bulbs are incredibly expensive to maintain. UPDATE: The Keukenhof has announced that they will not open at all this year due to the Netherlands having their safety measures extended until June 1. This is a terribly sad thing to have happen.

   
• Tumbling' Tumbleweeds! Leave it to CGP Grey to come up with a fascinating video over the most unlikely of subjects...

If you haven't gone down the CGP Grey rabbit hole yet and are looking for entertainment as you socially distance yourself... his entire channel is amazing.

   
• This Virus is Unforgiving. Dr. Emily Landon, chief infectious disease epidemiologist at the University of Chicago Medicine, drops a hard does of reality on recent events...

We are in some serious shit. Taking things seriously is the only way we can get through it. The longer people stop taking steps to isolate themselves and stop the spread of COVID-19, the longer this is going to drag on.

   
• No Wipes! Good Lord. THINK, EVERYBODY: People Are Using Alternatives To Toilet Paper, And It Could End Up Clogging Sewage Pipes All Over.

   
• Wash & Sing! Everybody is sharing the songs they sing to make sure they are washing their hands for a fully twenty seconds. Here's mine... One One Thousand, Two One Thousand, Three One Thousand, Four One Thousand, Five One Thousand, Six One Thousand, Seven One Thousand, Eight One Thousand, Nine One Thousand, Ten One Thousand, Eleven One Thousand, Twelve One Thousand, Thirteen One Thousand, Fourteen One Thousand, Fifteen One Thousand, Sixteen One Thousand, Seventeen One Thousand, Eighteen One Thousand, Nineteen One Thousand, Twenty One Thousand. — You're welcome!

   
• Nasty! I hate to end this Sunday on a sour note, but it cannot be helped. You've probably seen this video popping up several times already. I honestly don't care. This should be shared until you're seeing it from every last person you know. This is not a partisan attack. This is a clear demonstration of a president who is a horrendous leader in general... and an even more horrendous leader in a time of crisis. Any normal, sane human being would have used this as an opportunity to reassure the American people that our government is doing everything possible to keep us safe and address the unfathomable events that are unfolding. Instead we get a 2-year-old in poopy diapers going completely unhinged at a valid question that deserves to be answered with compassion and understanding. We've gone way past our president being a disgrace to his office and this nation... he's an abomination to all humanity...

Un-fucking-believable. What Americans want is somebody who acts like they're in charge of the situation and getting things done to get us through this. Not a piece of shit who can't even answer a softball question that any normal president would have welcomed as an opportunity to allay fears and inspire confidence...

May God have mercy on us all.

   
And that's all I can stomach for tonight.

   

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