One of my most favorite parody sites, The Onion, has finally won their bid to purchase InfoWars assets, which notorious piece of shit Alex Jones lost after the families of victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting won a judgement of $1.4 billion. He called them "crisis actors," despite all evidence to the contrary.

In celebration of this victory over somebody who really deserves to lose, I present this banger remix of some of Jones's nonsense...

FROGS!!!

Pardoned Jan. 6 rioter to plead guilty in child sexual abuse case, adding to pattern.

Turns out when you pardon criminals, they apparently feel invincible and go on committing more crimes. Who knew?

It is increasingly damaging to my mental state to look at the news or social media lately. It's all madness and stupidity and shittiness and hypocrisy from here on out, and there's nothing really to be done but accept that this is where we're at.

And it's the hypocrisy which cuts the deepest.

Every time Trump drops another load of shit on an undeserving world, the first thing that crosses my mind is "Can you fucking imagine if Obama were to do this?" I mean seriously... the big news of the day is Trump sharing a photo of his as Jesus. Something so ridiculous that even some of his base is calling him out on it. But then... then Trump says "Oh, I thought it was me as a doctor." Which is entirely new levels of bullshit, but there's his base... pulling out the knife and fork to eat that shit up.

AND CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE IF OBAMA SHARED AN IMAGE LIKE THAT?!?

There would literally be Trump supporters calling for him to be executed!

But not their Orange Jesus.

He gets a pass no matter how much repugnant, vile, awful, crap he does.

I mean... imagine for a minute that the Pentagon got caught spending $93 billion on frivolous shit like lobster, a grand piano, and ice cream machines under Obama's watch. Just fucking imagine what the MAGA reaction would have been. But Hegseth blows through NINETY-THREE BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS on stupid crap and it's barely a blip on the radar. MAGA couldn't care less...

Then to really have your brain liquify, just think about how $93 billion could have been spent benefiting the American people. In a day and age where benefit after benefit of being a taxpayer is getting stripped away, lobster dinner for The Pentagon.

Jesus Christ.

I'm not going to let the fact that my neck is hurting worse now than it has been stop me from updating Blogography. At least not this time.. because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Cookies! Isn't it nice how Girl Scouts cookies come in convenient single-serving packs? That way you know exactly how many to eat. I'd consume an entire box of Trefoils if not for the fact that they smartly wrap them into two servings...

Samoas come in a tray, not a package, because there's only one serving per box. Every year I order cookies from Girl Scout Troop 6000, which serves girls in New York City's shelter system. Though I'd buy cookies from any troop, given how Girl Scouts is one of the most accepting, inclusive organization on the planet. A phenomenal model for future generations.

   
• Drone Entertainment! One of the last times I was at Walt Disney World, there was a drone show at Disney Springs. Called Disney Dreams That Soar, it was an experimental free event that ran for about four months. While music played, 800 drones made cool shapes in the air, and most people believed that this was a step towards reducing or eliminating fireworks at the park. Fireworks are not reusable like drones, so they're expensive. And they also cause noise and pollution that upsets people living near the parks. It would make sense that they would want to cut back. And now there's this show in China featuring 22,580 drones...

In all honesty, drone shows are getting so good that I'd argue they're a superior form of entertainment... and could probably simulate fireworks in a way that's as good, if not better, than the real thing. And if anybody could make this work, it would be Disney.

   
• Word! This is one of those simple posts which illustrates a concept so brilliantly that you don't even have to understand what it's talking about to understand what's being said...

Fortunately, I've never had to deal much with Microsoft Word... I've always used desktop publishing or an illustration app for that. But because of that, my frustration with trying to make a photo land where I want is even more frustrating.

   
• And Right Before Wildfire Season! NEWSFLASH: Trump Administration Orders Dismantling of the US Forest Service. Fuck them all. I am sick and fucking tired of losing vital national services to give money to the president's millionaire and billionaire owners, and to finance this illegal, stupid-ass war. The US Forest Service deserves better than this fucking bullshit. They are dedicated, essential workers studying and protecting our forests and grasslands...

Photo credit: Preston Keres / USDA

The American People deserve more than this fucking bullshit. This is probably a set-up so Trump can sell off our vital resources to be plundered by his owners. The office of the President of the United States of America has turned into one massive grift. I mean, it's just been revealed that the steel for his fucked-up ballroom is NOT being sourced from American companies after he championed US Steel during his campaign... he's bought the steel from Europe. Probably from somebody who has incriminating photos of him on Epstein Island.

   
• Greatness! And, while I'm on the subject... exactly where is all the money going from the "big beautiful tariffs" the American people are paying? We keep getting our services and benefits cut... so the money ain't going there. The National Debit is higher than ever... so the money's not going there. Jobs are being slashed left and right... so the money's not going there. Trump has collected TENS OF BILLIONS of OUR dollars. So WHERE IS THE FUCKING MONEY?

It blows my fucking mind that this country isn't in outright revolt right now.

   
• AI Slop... IN SPAAAACE! A photo was circulating today of the Artemis II Orion capsule re-entry... as captured by the International Space Station...

Except when you go to the official ISS Instagram, this is what they had to say: "Our crew on the @iss caught a glimpse of the @nasaartemis II crew as they re-entered the atmosphere from their journey to the Moon! We first saw a bright light and a trail as the service module burned up. We didn’t see the Orion capsule itself as it re-entered, but we saw the wispy trail it left behind in the upper atmosphere. Overjoyed that our friends are safely back on Earth after their awe-inspiring mission!."

THIS is what they saw...

Photo Credit: ISS

And of course when you go to debunk the fake image, you find that the person who posted it has turned off comments. NOT deleted the misinformation... turned off the comments!

There's no bigger metaphor for what's going on right now in the world than this.

   
• Mean-Spirited? Sweet Pee holds a press conference to deny allegations of her ties to Epstein, despite the fact that emails and photos exist showing she absolutely had ties to Epstein. If BULLSHIT had a face, here it is...

Photo Credit: Evan Vucci/Reuters

Photo Credit: CSPAN/GETTY

And you DIDN'T fucking "meet your husband at a party in 1998"... at the time you met MARLA MAPLES' HUSBAND at a party in 1998. Furthermore, if you to expect people to stop making "mean-spirited comments" about you, then you can fuck right off. You stand idly by while your husband makes some of the most vile, disgusting, horrific "mean-spirited comments" towards other people and don't give a shit, so nobody gives a fuck about what's being directed your way. "Be best" for you and yours before demanding it from others.

   
And now back to my neck recovery, already in progress.

Even though my injury was yesterday, it hurt far worse today. I contemplated staying home from the office and trying to work the best I can, but there was no way I could get things done that needed doing at home... so I took multiple doses of Advil throughout the day, and worked my way through it.

Then came home an hour early when the pain exceeded my ability to deal with. At which time I threw a heating pad down on the couch and prepared myself for the re-entry live feed of Artemis II by watching Hidden Figures.

Then it was two hours of NASA...

When I got bored, I watched Artemis-themed videos in-between. Like this LEGO set that's really cool...

And Hank Green with some really cool commentary on the mission photos...

And, of course, I had to watch Professor Dave dismantle dipshit Bart Sibrel...

Watching Bart get clocked by Buzz Aldrin remains one of the more joyous events in human history. I could watch it over and over and over and over.

Though it turns out NASA DOES LIE AFTER ALL! AND NOW THE SECRET HAS BEEN REVEALED!!

And now it's time for beddy-bye. I really hope I can manage to get some sleep, because it seems a bad idea to take any more Advil.

Can I just go ONE FUCKING DAY without ███ ██████████████ █████████ unleashing more fucking ████ and ███████████ all over ███████████? Is that really too much to ask? One. Just one day. I am so fucking sick and tired of ████ fucking ████ I feel like I could start vomiting and never stop. Every God damn fucking day I ████ ███ ██████ ███████ to fucking ███ ███ ███!

Please DEAR GOD won't you fucking ████ ████ ██████?

It's now Wednesday. This entry was written on Monday, when it was due to post.

But the post was entirely just me unloading in the worst way possible, which is something I've been trying to avoid. It's not going to change any minds. It's not going to change our situation. It's not going to do anything except drive my blood pressure even higher than it already is. And so... I've edited out all of that and left the bit that's still an official unloading, but not to the extent it was.

So here we go...

Today I woke up and the first thing I saw was more bullshit science denial on the Artemis II mission. Something that immediately sends me into a rage. How the fuck did we get to a place where ignorance and idiocy is this prevalent? Everybody and their dog is spouting their favorite conspiracy theory which is easily disproved if they took two minutes to educate themselves, but no. Blatant dumbassery is where we're at.

But what's worse? AI slop bullshit is everywhere. Fake photos of fake situations reinforcing the idea that the mission itself is fake. And it's not just being shared by random people... I've seen it on astronomy social media!

Just look at this shit. None of this from NASA's site. Just AI slop photos with different prompts for the same fucking scene...

Some of them are noticeably worse than others. This one doesn't even look like a photo...

Though this is my favorite because it's so hilariously fake...

God I despise AI slop generative images. It's not doing anything to improve society and, indeed, is rushing things along to make things worse.

The Easter Bunny may be coming to town, but I'm goofing around on the internet ... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Work Chums! I've seen this several times, but I don't think I've shared it before...

If you've dealt with insurance before, you get it.

   
• Smartest Phone! Kit-Kat drama aside, this was my favorite April Fool's joke I saw...

Makes me want to actually buy a Bluey Phone!

   
• Geography! Washington is weird, y'all...

If you're not from here, you don't know how weird though.

   
• NEWSFLASH: MS. NOEM IS DEVASTATED. THE FAMILY WAS BLINDSIDED BY THIS, AND THEY ASK FOR PRIVACY AND PRAYERS AT THE TIME. And I'm asking you to fuck off with your bullshit. You used your position to utterly destroy lives without any regard to their privacy... and you certainly didn't pray on their behalf. Yet you have the absolute gall to ask for "privacy and prayers?" I do wonder if she was fired for this because the White House had advanced notice. They're already neck-deep in scandal, so it makes sense they would want to get this as far away from them as possible. I'd try to feel sorry for Bryon Noem getting attacked over something that was his own private business... but he knew what he married into and what she was. It's no surprise this is blowing up because of his own doing.

   
• Turn It Off and Back On Again! What's delicious about living in the digital age is that assholes can get internet detectives crawling up their ass with a microscope after they do something shitty. Take for instance this judge, who was a heinous douche to an IT worker helping him out. Many judges think they are gods, and when you show them that they're not, they react badly...

And now the internet has been digging up everything from his bankruptcies to other asshole behaviors and publishing them for the whole word to see. Good. That's what the internet should be used for.

   
• How is The Dow? In honor of the puss-filled piece of shit who used her position to protect sexual predators getting fired, I am re-posting the only good thing that came out of her tenure...

Now you can fuck off and just go away until somebody drags your ass in front of The Hague. And, God-willing, your former boss will be there with you. Speaking of which, here's the only good thing to come out of his tenure...

Any guesses as to who's next on the administration firings distraction BINGO card?

   
And on that note, Happy Easter to all who celebrate.

As I type this, Artemis II is about half-way to the moon. Except they're not landing on the moon this time, they're going to orbit it and head back home. Which is still a phenomenal achievement, because few people have an idea just how astoundingly far away the moon is.

When I was a kid I read that if earth was the size of a tennis ball, the moon would be a sphere one-fourth the size of the tennis ball... and it would be over 20 feet away.

I looked for a YouTube video to explain this, and found this one...

Then I found this...

But in order for these to suitably shock you, you really need to have a grasp of how huge the earth is. Try walking around it some time to get an idea.

And speaking of walking AROUND the earth...

Because the Artemis II mission is popping up in social media everywhere all the time, OF COURSE you've got dipshit flerfers (flat earthers) "debunking" the photos of a globe earth taken by the astronauts. In case you haven't seen some, here you go...

And of course you get the same stupid shit that you get from all the satellite photos and the moon-landing photos all over again. The most popular being "WHERE ARE THE STARS? NO STARS IN THESE PHOTOS?!? FAKE!!! FAKE FAKE FAKE!!! NASA LIES!

As if NASA made a boo-boo and "forgot" to paint the stars in thousands of times and somehow "forgot" to paint them in yet again.

Jesus. Google is free. There's literally dozens... maybe hundreds... of videos explaining why.

But nope! A massive conspiracy involving tens of thousands of people around the globe has been yet again foiled because NASA forgot to add stars!

I want to put aside more obvious targets for a minute and focus on one of the most inexplicable members of the administration... "Little" Marco Rubio.

This one-time presidential hopeful once said "Donald Trump is a serious threat to the future of our party, and our country"... only to turn around and become one of the biggest boot-lickers in our political history. I swear it's almost as if Trump put him in this position just so he has somebody he can routinely humiliate in some kind of elaborate revenge scenario for all the awful things that Rubio has said about him.

This was made abundantly clear when Trump bought Little Marco shoes that were too big, but he had to wear them anyway...

Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images via CNN

   
That's expert-level trolling right there, but it's just the beginning...

President Donald Trump has undercut his top diplomat’s explanation for the war in Iran as he provided yet another contradictory rationale for his military intervention. On Monday, Secretary of State Marco Rubio made a jaw-dropping admission: the U.S. struck Iran because Israel was planning to strike first—and Washington feared Tehran would retaliate against American forces. But asked about this on Tuesday, Trump rejected this explanation outright as Rubio sat two seats away in the Oval Office.

I can only assume that Marco will be fired sometime soon when the president needs another distraction for a new scandal. I mean, that's what he's pre-broadcasting for Karoline "You're Doing a Terrible Job" Leavitt right now, so it's only a matter of time... right?

But in the meanwhile, Rubio doesn't need any help from Trump. He's been teeing himself up to be a total joke that's intent on completely killing what little remains of his political career for over a year now.

My favorite has him siding with Trump's mandate that "Birthright Citizenship" be terminated. A total flip-flop from 9 years ago when Rubio was a hard-liner for it. As well he should be, because he would be one of the first to be deported given that he was born to Cuban immigrants who were not citizens at the time of his birth. And I don't know how this affects Don Jr., Eric, and Ivana given that their mother wasn't a US citizen either. Maybe they'll end up being too tall to deport or develop bone spurs so they can't be deported on humanitarian grounds?

And then we come to the reason for my writing this post. On March 30th Little Marco sat down for an interview with George Stephanopoulos. It was all a bunch of bullshit, but mixed in with that was this nugget right here...

"Imagine an Iran that, instead of spending their wealth, billions of dollars, supporting terrorists or weapons, had spent that money helping the people of Iran. You’d have a much different country." — Marco Antonio Rubio, Secretary of State

WELL I CAN'T FUCKING IMAGINE IT, DIPSHIT, BECAUSE I LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WHERE WE SPEND BILLIONS ON WEAPONS WHILE ALIENATING OURSELVES FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD BY TURNING ALLIES INTO ENEMIES SO WE'RE STANDING WITH OUR PANTS AROUND OUR ANKLES ON THE WORLD STAGE THEN STARTING A WAR THAT COSTS EVEN MORE BILLIONS! — BUT I DO IMAGINE A DIFFERENT COUNTRY FOR US... DAILY. A COUNTRY WHERE PEOPLE CAN AFFORD TO BUY GROCERIES, HAVE SHELTER, AND NOT GO INTO BANKRUPTCY IF THEY GET CANCER. A COUNTRY WHERE BILLIONAIRES AND MILLIONAIRES PAY THEIR FUCKING SHARE INSTEAD OF GETTING ALL THE BREAKS THAT REGULAR CITIZENS DON'T. A COUNTRY WHICH LIVES UP TO THE FREEDOMS AND IDEALS THAT WE CLAIM TO OFFER, BUT HAVE BEEN CHIPPED AWAY FOR DECADES AT AN ESCALATING PACE TOWARDS FASCISM. A COUNTRY THAT DOESN'T HAVE GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION BUILT-IN. A COUNTRY WHERE PEDOPHILES AND RAPISTS FACE CONSEQUENCES FOR THEIR ABHORRENT ACTIONS NO MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY AND POWER THEY HAVE. A COUNTRY WHICH ISN'T RUN BY HEINOUS LEVELS OF STUPIDITY. GIVE ME THAT, AND MAYBE... JUST MAYBE... I'LL BE ABLE TO IMAGINE IT FOR IRAN.

I am nearing pathological levels of rage over where we're at right now. And idiots like Little Marco pouring gas on the fire doesn't help one bit.