Harrison Butker, a kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs, delivered a commencement speech at Benedictine College this past Saturday. He's a hardcore regressive Catholic. Benedictine College is a Catholic college. So it should shock absolutely nobody that Butker unleashed a grotesque missive that was steeped in everything from misogyny, antisemitism, and homophobic bigotry to COVID misinformation, toxic masculinity, and general hatred of anybody who dares to not share his "values." He also decided to take a jab Taylor Swift (who's regarded as nothing more than "a teammate's girlfriend"), for which I can only hope that her boyfriend kicks him in the fucking dick.

No, people shouldn't have been at all shocked. And yet shock people he did.

Do I think it was crass that this asshole would stand up in front of young women who have worked long and hard to graduate from college only to tell them that until they are wives and mothers their lives don't mean shit and their entire purpose is to be barefoot and pregnant? Of course I do. But what did everybody think that he was going to say? That's Christian female gender roles in a nutshell.

Do I think it was disgusting that he would take jabs at the LGBTQ community with his "deadly sin pride" bullshit and prop up toxic masculinity by telling men to fight against ideas and people he doesn't consider culturally "masculine" enough? Absolutely. Gotta be an alpha-male for Jesus!

And am I even remotely surprised that it's now being brought to light that Butker hooked up with a male cheerleader at Georgia Tech when he went there? Oh fuck no. That's the easiest thing to believe out of any of this. History has shown us again and again that the harder a homophobic bigot attacks the LGBTQ community, the more skeletons they have in their own rainbow-painted closet. They're always compensating for something...

UPDATE: And of course TikTok removes the video. Butker can drone on with his homophobic, misogynistic, antisemitic bullshit no problem... but anybody dare to retort to that and it's REMOVED FOR BULLYING TIME! Well, the internet is forever, so if your browser can support video embeds...

The minute Harrison Butker came for the gays, it was only a matter of time until we found out why. I'm just surprised it took this long. Usually you can clock the tea on an egg timer.

Oh well. Here's hoping that Harrison Butker gets the life he deserves.

Which of course includes Travis Kelce kicking him in the fucking dick.

He was trapped in a region of non-stop war in Syria, but did his best to help people and feed cats in the area. And died there after joking about having dug his own grave.

It's a good thing I'm not God. Because I'm telling you right now, there would be no hiding from my wrath. Nothing could save you. I would wipe all violent aggressors off the face of the fucking earth without so much as a thought. One minute you're killing innocent civilians and cats... then next minute you would find yourself transported to the surface of the sun.

Which kinda begs the question... where is God in the middle of things like this anyway?

Definitely not in Syria, that's for sure.

I'm in full-on construction mode here in my home, but have no fear... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Shield Gate! Yesterday I mentioned that every time I watch Rogue One: A Star Wars Story I go running to the internet to watch the super-cut of all the space battles because they're just so cool and amazing to look at. And here you go...

You're welcome! Dang pushing the Star Destroyer into the Shield Gate was brilliant fun.

   
• Acolyte! The big news out of yesterday was that Star Wars gave us a peek at new Star Wars on Star Wars Day...

Looks darn good! But I'm so used to being shown the best bits of the show in the trailer, then finding out that it's nothing like what they showed us. So I guess we'll see.

   
• Mazes Got Nuthin' on This! I fell down a rabbit hole of videos of crows being geniuses. Then octopi. And then... rats?!?

Rats driving a car. Who knew?

   
• Dementia Village! The dementia care home I found for my mom wasn't a sterile, boring, hospital-like place. It looked more like a home with different textures and colors and interesting things to look at... other patients to visit with. Her room was likewise nothing like a hospital room, and could be filled with all her stuff so it felt familiar. The hallways was in a big loop so she couldn't get lost. For what it was, I thought it was quite nice. The only thing missing was a way for her to wander outside and look around. And idea which was has been explored by this Dutch facility, which is incredible...

As happy as I was with the facility I found for my mom, I would have been thrilled if she could have stayed in a place like this. So much more friendly. I really hope these "dementia villages" catch on.

   
• Hulk Smash! The Incredible Hulk Coaster at Universal Studios Islands of Adventure Orlando is hands-down my favorite rollercoaster. I rode it the year it debuted, then rode it plenty more times over the years (one visit to the park I rode it five times!). This video talks about the coaster, and I've skipped past all the non-Hulk-Coaster crap at the beginning...

I did ride it after the refurbishment, and was impressed. They kept the classic coaster everybody loves... just made the experience better from start to finish. No other coaster I've ridden since has compared to it. Not bad for a coaster 25 years old!

   
• AI FAIL! I had the same thing to say about both the Humane AI Pin and the Rabbit R1: "Once Apple & Google unleash AI assistants on their phones, all these additional gadgets are toast." But this was before either of these devices were released to horrific reviews. They're useless. Snazzy Labs has a great overview of both devices at the same time so you only have to watch one video...

The Humane AI Pin was fucking useless on paper and is worse than useless in practice. I was a little more bullish about the Rabbit R1 because it at least had a screen to interact with stuff and sounded like it had a better service. But it turns out that it's worse than useless too. Which is to say that Apple & Google are winning before they've even released anything. How boring.

   
• Fuck This Fucking Fuck! I gotta say... watching puppy-killing piece of shit Kristi Noem getting dragged from one end of the internet to the other is the best thing ever. She murders animals not because she needs food or is in danger... but because she just fucking loves to kill (surrendering your "problem" puppy to an animal shelter means you can't kill it, so she must love it)...

I hope her political career is truly toast, because a sadistic fuck like this has no business holding any political office. If she thrills to kill a fucking puppy... can you imagine what she would do to make lives harder for people she doesn't like? And now she's blaming all her lies and bullshit on her ghost-writer. Which is hilarious given that SHE NARRATED HER OWN AUDIOBOOK AND KNEW FULL WELL WHAT IT CONTAINED! That happened after she fucking lied about staring down Kim Jong Un. Jesus what a dipshit asshole.

   
And now back to construction, already in progress.

Jerry Seinfeld came out bemoaning that he "wouldn't be able to make Seinfeld today" because of the "extreme-Left" and "PC crap" has killed comedy. I think I might have laughed for a solid five minutes.

What the fuck is it with these irrelevant assholes who think that they can suddenly become relevant by having a stupid fucking take that's so far outside of reality that it has people questioning whether or not it's time to induce dementia medication? Nothing quite like announcing to the entire fucking world that you are so old and set in your ways that you can't evolve with the times.

Seinfeld out here acting like Ted Lasso doesn't exist. Jesus.

The thing that really kills me is that the co-creator of Seinfeld, Larry David, just ended an epic run on his post Jerry gig that was killing it season after season. I was not a huge fan of Curb Your Enthusiasm, but they must have been doing something right to go for TWELVE FUCKING SEASONS.

COMEDY: NOT SO DEAD AS WE WERE LEAD TO BELIEVE.

And then I ran across this TikTok that pointed out something I hadn't even thought of... It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which wrapped its 16th season and is coming back for a 17th... seems to have zero problems continuing it's particular brand of comedy in this "Comedy is Dead" era...

   
Why can't these idiots just roll around in their piles of money and stop embarrassing themselves like this? I mean, it's not faling asleep then farting yourself awake in the middle of your hush-money-for-adultery trial, but it's pretty close.

Anybody who supports revoking Net Neutrality either has no idea what the fuck they are talking about... or they run a Big Cable or Big Telco company and lust over the idea of controlling the internet for a buck... or are politicians sucking Big Cable and Big Telco dick for cash. There's seriously no other options here. Revoking Net Neutrality is a seriously bad move from every possible angle when seen from the perspective of the American people. Period.

And now that the FCC isn't being raw-dogged by eternal piece of shit Ajit Pai, the commission agrees. Because Net Neutrality has been restored. Granted, it was in a 3-to-2 split vote along party lines (apparently Republicans are really into sucking Big Cable and Big Telco dick for cash all the way down the line). But who cares? The right thing finally came out on top. So now we don't have to worry that Comcast will throttle certain sites that might be competing with their interests... and Verizon won't charge extra if you want to stream movies from a company that's not paying them a bunch money. The list of good things go on and on. It's a free an open internet the way the internet should be.

At least until another Ajit Pai ends up in the FCC to fuck things up again due to some bullshit tactics by politicians who don't mind selling out the American people for cash.

And speaking of bullshit political tactics...

Biden just signed a bill that could ban TikTok. His campaign plans to stay on the app anyway.

OF COURSE the fucking Biden campaign is still using TikTok after he signed a bill that could ban TikTok! Did you honestly think they wouldn't?

This possible ban conveniently takes place AFTER the election, so that was likely the plan all along. Hypocrisy. It's what's for dinner. And breakfast. And lunch. And dessert. And brunch. And snacks. And... reason No. 1,756,342,456 that I loathe our fucked-up political system in general and oh-so-many politicians specifically.

It continues to blow my mind that people are into politician worship over common sense, and we allow a system of having to vote for the lesser of two evils be the system we keep allowing to happen.

NEWSFLASH: Tesla Driver Who Trusted 'Autopilot' Charged With Killing A Motorcyclist

If I hadn't already had to stop riding a motorcycle, I'm telling you right now that this story alone would get me to stop. It's already incredibly dangerous because people driving cars so often aren't paying attention, and riding a motorcycle makes you incredibly vulnerable because you don't have any protection... but this is just beyond.

Tesla should have to pay a billion dollars to the family of this rider. A BILLION. DOLLARS. There has to be meaningful repercussions to them having a car with a feature that's actively killing people. I hope the driver loses everything for not monitoring the car's driving as they should have been. And Tesla should lose everything for making this outright murder possible in the first place.

But Tesla says that they warn drivers that their "fully self-driving" feature requires monitoring, so they'll likely not pay a fucking cent. Yet they name it "fully self-driving."

Christ.

As a former motorcyclist who has clear memories of being very nearly killed (or seriously damaged) twice on the road by drivers who don't give a shit whether they kill somebody... it's disheartening to know that the vehicles themselves don't care either. My thoughts go out to the family and friends of this rider who lost somebody who did absolutely nothing to deserve their fate.

ANNNNNND... DONE! NOBODY IS SELLING YOUR DATA TO CHINA EXCEPT AMERICAN COMPANIES! THERE! WE'VE FIXED ALL OF AMERICA'S PROBLEMS! NOW WE'RE VOTING TO GIVE OURSELVES A RAISE AND THEN GO INTO RECESS FOR A FEW MONTHS! — God how I fucking detest our politicians. What a bunch of worthless fucking pieces of shit.

NEWSFLASH: Biden signs bill that could ban TikTok, a strike years in the making

Yet another case of politicians loudly announcing "DON'T LOOK AT WHAT I'M DOING! DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO ME! LOOK! OVER THERE! IT'S TIKTOK! SURE EVERYTHING'S FUCKED AND WE'RE DOING FUCK-ALL ABOUT IT BECAUSE PEOPLE GIVE US MONEY IF WE DO FUCK-ALL... BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT! IT'S TIKTOK! TIKTOK IS AN IMMEDIATE THREAT TO ALL AMERICANS! SO APPLAUD US! BOW DOWN BEFORE US! RE-ELECT US! IGNORE THE UNGODLY AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU PAY US! BECAUSE WE'RE WORKING HARD ON YOUR BEHALF! BECAUSE TIKTOK! YOU'RE WELCOME!"

How did we, as a country, end up in this sorry, pathetic state?

Oh well. TikTok was on it's way out anyway because they're shoving ads down your fucking throat every five videos and I'm sick to death of it... but I suppose Congress needs something to do to have the appearance that they're doing anything at all.

UPDATE: And now... this...

   
Rest in Peace Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.

UPDATE! If you have eclipse glasses you will be throwing away, donate them instead! This is so great.

The first eclipse I remember viewing was the Great Eclipse of February 1979. We were right on the edge of the "Totality Zone," which means that everybody in the region was eclipse-crazy. "We don't even have to travel to have the best seat in the house!" Except... Central Washington in February (especially back then) is usually overcast skies, so nothing (especially the "best seats in the house") was guaranteed.

But then the Big Day arrived and, miracle or miracles, the skies were not terrible. It was a school day, which meant that our science teacher showed us how to view the event with a piece of paper with a hole in it casting the shadow of the sun onto another piece of paper. AKA the shittiest way to view an eclipse. You'd think for this monumental event, the Washington State Department of Education would have sprang to give us all safety glasses, but it was what it was. We all went outside with our papers, and I remember a lot of it very well despite my being 12 years old (almost 13) at the time. But mostly I remember how thrilled I was to get out of science class.

The next eclipse was only 92% where I lived back in 2017, but I had great equipment to view it and take photos, which made it a heck of a lot more memorable than looking at a shadow on a piece of paper...

Plus... my cats had fun because I was staying home with them, so there's that.

The eclipse today wasn't that eventful... we were told it would be just a small chunk out of the bottom. I brought my glasses to work to have a look since the skies weren't too terrible, but then forgot. Oh well.

INTERESTING TO NOTE: My last kidney stone was in 2017. The date of the last eclipse here was 2017. — OBVIOUSLY NASA IS CAUSING KIDNEY STONES WITH THEIR WOKE "ECLIPSES," WHICH WE ALL KNOW IS REALLY JUST THEM REPAIRING HOLES IN THE FIRMAMENT DOME! I DEMAND THAT MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE USE HER FULL POWER IN CONGRESS TO INVESTIGATE IMMEDIATELY!

IN OTHER ECLIPSE NEWS: No wonder people thought that The Rapture was going to be today. It happened on Rex Manning Day! (happy Rex Manning Day to all who celebrate)...

I can't celebrate Rex Manning Day without looking up this awesome commercial that Ryan Reynolds gave us last year...

I will spend tonight watching Empire Records for the hundredth time, of course. Such a classic.

IN OTHER, OTHER ECLIPSE NEWS: So how about that Rapture? A ridiculous number of people were coming out of the woodwork claiming that the pending eclipse was clearly a sign that the End of Days was here because they were "activating" the CERN Super Hadron Collider to open a portal and invite the devil to invade so his demons could collapse society and power off the grid (or whatever dippy shit they came up with). Did God change His mind? Shouldn't all these false prophets be getting stoned to death? I'm not holding my breath that the same people posting this shit to social media are going to recant and say they were wrong. Oh hell no. They're already off to the races on whatever other stupid crap they can dream up. Like blaming President Biden for the high cost of shit while corporations are reporting record high profits. Almost as if the corporations are using inflation as an excuse to raise their prices to all-time highs so they can make billions upon billions of extra dollars without getting blamed for it (thus driving inflation even higher). Imagine that! Nope. BIDEN DID IT! And it's like, come on. The Biden Administration has done plenty of actual fucked up shit without having to push stuff like this. But, it's an election year, and high prices are an easy campaign talking point for people to understand, so here we are.

IN OTHER, OTHER RELIGIOUS NEWS: Today The Vatican took time away from their busy schedule of passing around photos of altar boys to declare that surrogacy and gender-affirming care are on par with euthanasia and abortion when it comes to being an affront to human life and a violation of God's Divine Plan...

First of all... if God didn't want surrogacy to produce life, he wouldn't allow it to be possible. Period. My theory is that Catholic priests just find confessional stories about surrogacy to be boring, and would rather hear about a parishioner confessing to getting raw-dogged by a football team because it gives them something fun to beat off to (because they're not having sex... right? RIGHT?!?). Otherwise, why are people who can't have children weighing in on how other people have children? It's insane. You'd think that they'd love the idea of the new Catholics this might create. That's just sound financial sense when it comes to the number of donations on the plate.

Second of all... as a former Catholic, I feel that I'm completely within my right to say that I don't give one single solitary fuck as to what these assholes think is "dignified" about "life." They continue to protect their priests who routinely abuse and sexually assault children. They continue to exploit people in ways that are in direct contradiction to the Bible. They are a monstrous corporation masquerading as a church. Until they clean their own fucking house, they have absolutely ZERO authority to even have an OPINION about what people do with their lives (especially when it comes to gender-affirming care, which can literally saves lives... lives that they don't give a fuck about in the first place, mind you). And even if they did clean house, they can still fuck off with their bullshit, because unless somebody CHOOSES to turn to them for guidance, their OPINION is worth less than jack-shit. Keep your idiotic bullshit within the walls of your fucking child indoctrination camps for the benefit of sexual predators, AKA "Catholic Churches."

I realize that my time as a youngster spent with the Catholic Church was me wearing rose-tinted glasses... but it still pains me to be gunning for them like this because, for better or worse, it was an important part of my life. Particularly when it comes to my grandmother. In all honesty, I don't think the majority of Catholics approve of how The Church deals with many things, but they need their Faith in their lives, so they continue to look past all the heinous shit out of self-preservation. And honestly? I don't blame them. This world is a cesspool, so whatever you need to get through the day is what you need to get through the day. I just wish that more Catholics would hold The Church accountable so that it wouldn't get to keep abusing people and ruining lives without consequences.

Now... I'm off to make dinner and get ready to Say no More, Mon Amour with Rex Manning!

I should have baked cupcakes.

It's the time for April... fools?

Every once in a while I fall down a flat earth rabbit hole, knowing full well that I'll be saying "What the fuck?" at least a hundred times.

And this time around it all started because somebody commented "Nobody believes the earth is flat. You're just being trolled." and I'm like "Holy shit! Somebody actually believes that flat earthers don't exist?!? Obviously they don't get out enough, because flerfers are everywhere, and invest huge amounts of time defending their beliefs with "irrefutable proof" (that's neither irrefutable nor proof).

The insanity surrounding the impending eclipse just makes it all the more mind-blowing. Eclipses occurr where and when scientists say they do because of a model which involves a globe earth. They can literally show you how the calculations work so you can see how they arrive to their conclusions. And yet... people will look at all that and be "Nah, it's flat."

Even when they fail to prove it themselves. As with my favorite flat earth video of all time, which is a whopping one minute and seven seconds long...

Uh huh.

Meanwhile there are people saying that the National Guard being deployed for the eclipse is proof positive of the government knowing it's the End of Days... when, in fact, it's just because the expected influx of people to the totality zone (along with people trying to watch the eclipse while driving) makes for a potentially dangerous situation that local resources simply cannot handle.

And of course CERN has decided to fire up the Large Hadron Collider on the same day of the eclipse to drive the tin-foil hat brigade off the rails.

Now THAT'S trolling. Expert level.