• Quokka Edition! In today's episode of Adorable Animals Eating stuff...

If I hadn't seen a quokka in real life, I would have sworn they were AI or something.

   
• Flour or Corn? I have been watching tortilla challenge videos, and now I’m dead, y’all...

A challenge I would most certainly lose.

   
• NEWSFLASH: F.D.A. Blocked Publication of Research Finding Covid and Shingles Vaccines Were Safe. Suppressing scientific findings because they disagree with your idiotic bullshit... whodathunkit? OH... EVERYBODY WHO'S FUCKING SANE!!! Lying to keep people from being safe and healthy is exactly what you want from those in charge of keeping you safe and healthy. But that's RFK Jr. and the Trump Administration in a nutshell.

   
• Second Verse, Same as the First! Why? Why is he not telling the whole story? Because he's a fucking dumbass piece of fucking shit that's going to get babies killed...

Go fuck yourself you unbelievable fucking asshole. Jesus CHRIST why aren't these fuckers held responsible for their misinformation? All it takes is one person who listens to him and loses their kid before it's murder.

   
• Half Off Energy! Are we great yet?

Oh... wait a sec... we still have one month left before gas prices are cut by 50%. Which means it will be going from the $3.12 a gallon at the time Trump took office (national average) to $1.56 a gallon (national average) any day now! That will be a refreshing change from the $4.46 (national average) we're paying now! — Just remember... during the campaign Trump pledged to "rapidly drive prices down" and reduce energy/electricity costs by half within 12–18 months. We're almost there, so hang on, everybody! Just so long as the person in charge isn't falling asleep at the wheel, everything will be fine!

   
• The Real World! Yes. You have that exactly right. Instead of serving the American people as his job requires, this piece of shit went on a fucking seven month vacation on the taxpayer’s dime...

When are people going to wake up and realize that this administration is a fucking sham? They do nothing but make life easier for wealthy people. That’s it. War profiteering, grifts, lies, and crimes. That is the entirety of what they do.

   
• Worship Him! Posted without comment...

Except to say that this is as accurate a critique as it could possibly get.

   
And... good night.

Jalopnik: With 12,000 Flights Canceled In May Already, We've Got Bad News About Your Summer Vacation.

"The U.S. is now two months deep into an unprovoked war with Iran and the results have not been kind to anyone. In the states inflation tripled with surging gas prices, which quickly reached an average of over $4.00/gallon nationally. And in a world completely dependent on fuel, any shortage in the supply system hurts everyone, especially concerning air travel. It's bad enough that Matt Smith, Kpler director of commodity research warned on CNBC's "Squawk Box" that the 12,000 flights have been cancelled in May — of which we're only five days in — was only the beginning. Expect jet fuel prices to affect your summer travel, or even cancel it."

This is what incompetence in government looks like. They're so desperate to distract from the Epstein Files that we're now in a war that's fucked the entire country... and, indeed, the world.

I'm so sick of this non-stop parade of horrors I could vomit.

NEWSFLASH: RFK Jr. plans to curb antidepressants, which he falsely compares to heroin.

I've had crippling anxiety since I was 17. I know the age because I can remember the first anxiety-fueled attack I had with crystal clarity. Couldn't breathe. Felt like I was dying. Didn't know what was happening. Couldn't put a coherent thought together. At the time I thought I was having a heart attack. Everything was dialed to 11 and I was in quite a lot of pain.

Not knowing what was happening, mom took me to the doctor. We were told that it was a "panic attack" and I would be fine once I calmed down. Which I did. But I was still so rattled the next day that I still didn't feel like myself. The best word I can think of to describe my condition is... scrambled.

I have no idea what triggered the attack. Whatever it was probably disappeared as I was trying to deal with it all.

A couple times a year I'd get hit again, but it was never as intense as the first time. Probably because I understood what was happening to me. Though it could still get pretty bad. It's called crippling anxiety for a reason. It incapacitates you and you literally can't function.

Eventually I visited Thailand and looked to make some changes in my life. I started meditating, and that allowed me to manage my anxiety fairly well. I did have to run to initial care a couple times over the years for help, but I was never put on any medication.

Until I was.

Caring for a parent with dementia drove up my anxiety levels every single day, and it just kept getting worse and worse and worse. Far worse than it ever had been. No amount of meditation would touch it. And the fact that I was being incapacitated meant I couldn't care for my mom... let alone myself. Which probably made things even worse.

And so... my doctor ran me through the SSRI gauntlet, where you keep trying different options until something works. Or at least makes life with anxiety manageable. And we hit it on the third try.

I stayed on the pills until three or four months after my mom passed, when I slowly started to get my life back together and go back to meditating to control my stress and anxiety. It wasn't a cold-turkey halting of the drugs. It was a medically-controlled tapering off so that the side-effects don't get too awful. And, despite the FUCKING BULLSHIT NONSENSE BEING VOMITED OUT OF RFK JR.'S STUPID, IGNORANT, ANTI-SCIENCE, PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING ASSHOLE... it wasn't harder than "quitting heroin." Or, if it was, quitting heroin must be a fucking cake-walk, because it was no problem at all. My doctor gave me a schedule and advised me how to do it safely and, after a while, I was done. Back to practicing my meditation.

And then, seven years later, I was at work trying to deal with too much and there it was... an anxiety attack so bad that I was in my car thinking I was dying. All my muscles were so tight that I thought I was going to pass out from the pain. I was jumping out of my skin. My hands and feet were frozen and my fingers were bent back, leaving me clawing at my chest. I would have started screaming, but I couldn't breathe. I don't think that I passed out, but maybe I did. I honestly don't remember.

I didn't mess around. The minute I was able to pick up my phone and dial, I was calling for an emergency appointment with my doctor. YOU KNOW, THE ONLY PERSON QUALIFIED TO GIVE ME FUCKING MEDICAL ADVICE.

Given the severity of the attack, it was decided I would try some milder doses of SSRIs to see if that would allow me to get back to being able to function again.

It did not.

I was spiraling so often so quickly that I went right back to the drug which worked the best for me the first time. From there I worked myself from one pill to three per night. But slowly. Because the side-effects are horrible. Mostly revolving around explosive diarrhea from morning to night... and sometimes in the middle of the night.

Eventually things evened out. And my life started to feel like my own again. Which is to say that my life started to feel like most everybody else's does. Which is to say that any anxiety I'm experiencing is manageable. I don't get so overwhelmed that I can no longer function and am trying to scream while struggling to breathe.

After five or so months when things started to normalize for me, I worked my way down from three pills to two. Two pills to one. And then I was going to go back to zero when I decided that I just didn't fucking want to. I'm old enough now that I simply do not want to spend any more of what little time I have left struggling with my anxiety. I'm done with it. So I met with my doctor and explained where my head was at. He was happy that I had taken the initiative to reduce from three pills to one pill safely (I'd been through it before), and agreed with my reasoning. His training led him to believe I was better off where I was at, so he supported my decision. Medically.

And so...

Every night I take a small yellowish-peachy pill called Paxil.

Then I thank God that Paxil exists and my doctor exists so I can have a normal life that's not being ruled by something I can't control. With that pill I can manage. I can cope. I can be me. And I don't have to live in terror of an anxiety attack appearing out of nowhere and sending my life spiraling...

So fuck RFK Jr. and his stupid ignorant shit. Fuck him sideways.

I have no doubt that there are doctors who over-prescribe. I have no doubt that there are people who are abusing SSRIs. And, yeah, addressing that is probably a good idea. But for RFK Jr. to feel that he gets to overrule my doctor and unilaterally purge/reduce SSRIs for whatever stupid-ass reason (RFK Jr. being somebody who, I'll remind you, has no fucking training for this shit)... well, he can go fuck himself.

I am not going back to where I was when there's a perfectly suitable, perfectly safe, medically-sound, scientifically-studied solution available to me.

And some fascist junkie asshole with no medical training and not a lick of sense in his fucking brain-worm-riddled head has any fucking business telling me otherwise.

I'm about as exhausted as I can get after a week of trying to juggle all the balls I have in the air, but I'm not passing on the bullets... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts...now...

   
• My Room! Olivia Rodrigo was the host of Saturday Night Live last night, and had this hilariously awesome sketch...

As if that weren't enough, the track is a banger!

   
• Spider-Noir! It's not just because I'm a huge Nicholas Cage fan and he's perfect for the role... it's because this actually looks like it's going to make use of his talents in all the right ways...

I'll be watching it first in black &' white, then probably again in color if it's awesome. Which I'm expecting it will be.

   
• Best Friends! Somebody commented that this video is the opposite of toxic masculinity, and that seems apt...

There's an entire Instagram channel devoted to this, if you need a mood boost.

   
• Grapes! No, I'm not finished with watching animals eating stuff videos...

And can you really blame me?

   
• Yuii Chan Draws! This is remarkable...

It's like she has the entire thing in her head and is just tracing out what's already there. That's talent.

   
• Deadly Crystals! This is utterly fascinating. And a little scary. There's science happening, but they take great care to explain it in a way most people can understand...

Polymorphs be terrifying, yo.

   
• We're Out Of The Salmon! Tell me you've never worked in a restaurant without telling me you've never worked in a restaurant...

Amazing how Biden was the target of a gajillion 86-46 memes, where it apparently wasn't some kind of "mob term." And a simple Google search shows that the president himself re-posted far worse. And then there's this...

Funny that. Or fucking disgusting. You be the judge.

   
And now? Back to being exhausted. In more ways that one.

Everything.

Where you don't really expect it is in data graphs. You'd think that data is data and the graph will honestly reflect that data. That's a graph's entire function... to clearly present data in a way you can easily and quickly grasp it.

Except we know that's not how it goes...

Yes, it's a valid crash-out.

And I need you to watch it.

It's that important, and here it is...

Okay, that was a ruse. Here's the real deal...

I implore you to watch this. If you have kids then I implore you to watch this then talk with them about AI chatbots. I implore you to share this with people you know... especially if they have kids or are vulnerable in some way.

You could be saving a life...

This is fucking repugnant.

AI is stealing our precious resources like fresh water and electricity.

And now they're coming for the people. Exactly as we knew it would. Because there's money to be made.

   
• Amaze! Cubed! If you haven't seen Project Hail Mary you should most definitely do that. And once you have, you should watch this interview with the book's author...

Now that's science fiction!

   
• Four Decades Meatless! April 22nd was Earth Day! Or, for me, Vegetarian Day! I became a vegetarian on Earth Day 1986... 40 years ago. My girlfriend at the time said when she kissed me that she could "smell meat," which was apparently a bad thing because she was a vegan. And so... I went to Burger King, ordered six regular burgers, ate them all, then never ate meat again.

Sure we broke up a couple months later and I could have gone back to eating meat, but I realized that the numerous allergy problems I dealt with since I was very young were... diminishing? So I decided to stick with it. And, sure enough, my allergies slowly faded away. No idea if it was the meat... or steroids or antibiotics in the meat... but my quality of life improved dramatically. It was not easy being a vegetarian back then because food options weren't as prevalent as they are now (especially at restaurants), but I stuck with it and never turned back.

   
• Series Two! One of the biggest surprises of 2024 was the BritBox series Ludwig. It's a murder mystery show staring David Mitchell in the role he was born to play...

The second season will debut this year. But when this year hasn't been disclosed.

   
• Peace! And so... disabled veterans peacefully protesting the Iran War is against the law now...

Fucking disgraceful. There is no bottom with this fucking administration.

   
• All for the B! I've been a fan of Cardi B for a while... then I became a super-fan when I found out she's a serious history nerd (and her appearance on Hot Ones sealed the deal). But the thing I love most about her (and her team) is that she loves her fans. So many stories of her being truly grateful to the people who recognize her amazing talent and got her to where she is. The latest from a fan who got seriously shit on at a show was fully redeemed when Cardi's team reached out to make it right...

I love how the comments in the original video had people saying "Yeah, Cardi is going to be pissed!" because everybody knows she cares about her fans.

   
• NEWSFLASH: Tim Cook stepping down this year, John Ternus confirmed as next Apple CEO. I hope that John Ternus has even a fraction of the gravitas and drive that Steve Jobs brought to Apple. Tim Cook always seemed like a capable CEO (he took the company to a three trillion dollar valuation, after all), but ultimately he didn't seem like he wanted to push Apple towards greatness. He seemed more like a "don't rock the boat and keep the money flowing to our shareholder" kind of CEO. Which is a serious problem for a tech company like Apple. I look at the products which debuted under his tenure... Apple Silicon, AirPods, AppleTV, ApplePay, Apple Music, Apple Watch, AppleVision Pro, to name a few... and I can't help but wonder if he was the one pushing these projects forward. Maybe. But I doubt it. And if he was, then he didn't do much to show it. With Steve Jobs, you knew he was driving the boat, and that's what Apple needs moving forward. It's okay to not want to overshadow your team, but you have to at least project that the team is under your management.

   
• Idiot! I swear, these dumbfucks are so low IQ that I finally understand why that's the insult they lob at other people. It's the "I know I am but what are you?" vibe...

So... I guess this whole insistence of America having a ready military force is all bullshit then, isn't it? Now you can have a bunch of soldiers coming down with the flu, mutating it, and spreading it to each other so they're having to call out sick from battle? God.

   
Now you can go back to inundating yourself with all the horrific things going on in the world. Sorry about that.

One of my most favorite parody sites, The Onion, has finally won their bid to purchase InfoWars assets, which notorious piece of shit Alex Jones lost after the families of victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting won a judgement of $1.4 billion. He called them "crisis actors," despite all evidence to the contrary.

In celebration of this victory over somebody who really deserves to lose, I present this banger remix of some of Jones's nonsense...

FROGS!!!

Pardoned Jan. 6 rioter to plead guilty in child sexual abuse case, adding to pattern.

Turns out when you pardon criminals, they apparently feel invincible and go on committing more crimes. Who knew?

It is increasingly damaging to my mental state to look at the news or social media lately. It's all madness and stupidity and shittiness and hypocrisy from here on out, and there's nothing really to be done but accept that this is where we're at.

And it's the hypocrisy which cuts the deepest.

Every time Trump drops another load of shit on an undeserving world, the first thing that crosses my mind is "Can you fucking imagine if Obama were to do this?" I mean seriously... the big news of the day is Trump sharing a photo of his as Jesus. Something so ridiculous that even some of his base is calling him out on it. But then... then Trump says "Oh, I thought it was me as a doctor." Which is entirely new levels of bullshit, but there's his base... pulling out the knife and fork to eat that shit up.

AND CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE IF OBAMA SHARED AN IMAGE LIKE THAT?!?

There would literally be Trump supporters calling for him to be executed!

But not their Orange Jesus.

He gets a pass no matter how much repugnant, vile, awful, crap he does.

I mean... imagine for a minute that the Pentagon got caught spending $93 billion on frivolous shit like lobster, a grand piano, and ice cream machines under Obama's watch. Just fucking imagine what the MAGA reaction would have been. But Hegseth blows through NINETY-THREE BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS on stupid crap and it's barely a blip on the radar. MAGA couldn't care less...

Then to really have your brain liquify, just think about how $93 billion could have been spent benefiting the American people. In a day and age where benefit after benefit of being a taxpayer is getting stripped away, lobster dinner for The Pentagon.

Jesus Christ.