There is no "worst day" for me after my mom died. That was it. That was the one I get.

Which is why one of the books I'm working on is currently titled Travels with My Mother (and the five worst days of my life). It's a collection of travel stories from when I was visiting places around the world with her interspersed with me recounting the five worst days of my life. It's been fun to write... but difficult too, because it just makes me realize all over again how much I've lost with each new page.

But anyway...

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. She would have been 81 years old.

It's also the day my car tabs are due. Which is one of those unhappy coincidences that I never thought about when I had to buy a new car last December.

So I went to the bookkeeping office where I pay for the tabs, then drove home.

The road to which goes right by the cemetery where my mom is buried. Which is another one of those unhappy coincidences that I never thought about when I picked the easiest route to my home.

But anyway...

Today is Caturday, which only exists because of the two cats I got to keep my mom company and help distract her from being confused all the time. A job Jake and Jenny did exceptionally well...

Yes. I just shared this three Caturdays ago, but I didn't know it would be needed again so soon.

   
And so... happy birthday mom, one day late.

PLEASE TO EXPLAIN CAT!

Jake and Jenny always know when I'm leaving on a trip. They sense it somehow, I guess.

My travel plans for my recent trip were delayed, so I decided to clean the Litter-Robots before I left to Florida instead of having everything be frozen outside when I got back. I finished hosing out the downstairs robot first, then tackled the upstairs robot. AND WHILE I WAS SCRUBBING IT OUT ON THE FRONT LAWN, Jenny decided to USE THE KITTY LITTER BUCKET as the toilet...

NO idea how she fit into it. No clue. But litter was pitched out from her trying to cover it, so she took the job seriously.

Then I left for my trip.

And while I was gone, I was checking in on Jake and Jenny the whole time via my security cameras. It was wild. But the most wild was this... before I left I put a protective blanket over the dining room table. I've started doing this more and more even when I am home because it's the one thing I can't seem to keep my cats off of. I think it's because it's so close to their food bowls. And the kitchen and the stairs and the living room. It's a central space where they can see the entire first floor when they're on top of it. I got tired of scrubbing it with vinegar constantly, but when I put a covering on it I only have to scrub it when people will be eating on it.

ANYWAY... I kept watching as the blanket was falling further and further off the table. I think they were chasing or fighting each other on it, and once it started falling off the table it just kept going little by little as they climbed up there again.

Then one day I noticed that it was almost all the way off the table AND a chair was rocked back. So I scrolled back to find out what happened. And it was exactly what I thought it would be.

Jenny was on the table while her brother was on the part of the blanket which was on the floor. She looked down and saw him there and decided to pull some Jenny shit. She goes to jump on him, snags the chair, and it falls over... until it locks under the table...

And how did the blanket get all the way off the table? Jake decided he wanted to sleep on the chair that was locked under the table, of course! Never mind that he's at an angle, he was apparently comfortable enough to sleep there multiple times until I got home. Here he is in the chair getting up and turning around so he can go to sleep...

So... yeah. Cats are weird. There's no denying it.

Jake is aging before my eyes, and it's worrying me quite a lot.

He seems to be having a tough time, whether it's due to his weight or his age... or both. Watching him going up and down stairs is where I worry the most, though when he is chasing (or being chased) by his sister, he can all of a sudden blaze up and down them. So I'm not sure what's going on. Maybe he's faking it for sympathy.

One thing that hasn't changed is that he's an adorably handsome bear...

Also, he's still just as clingy as ever, falling asleep on me or against me more and more...

And of course he still keeps me company when I'm on video calls at my desk. The minute he hears me talking on the computer, he heads right in and lays on the stair banister next to me, then proceeds to stare at me the entire time...

For a cat that's quickly approaching 60 human years old, Jake is holding up better than I am.

I've put out warming pads for the cats every winter for years.

Last year one died, and this year the other one died. So I ordered new ones... and they make me mad I didn't buy 20 of the old kind.

First of all, the cords are not protected, which isn't a big problem because Jake & Jenny don't chew on cords. But still... dangerous!

Second of all, the warming pad is half the size of the cover? HALF! And the cover size is already smaller than the original one where the pad filled out the entire cover!

The cats are not impressed.

Here's Jenny... taking a big ol' pass on the new, heated pad and laying on the old, unheated pad instead. WTF?!?

And Jake was no more interested in it either, as he was always on the old pad. I went to pick him up and set him on the new pad, but this was what his reaction was...

Guess I keep looking. This is the first time I've been disappointed in a K&H Pet product. Hopefully the cats *warm up* to the new pads one of these days. SEE WHAT I DID THERE? WARM UP? LOLOLOL!

Guess I'll try putting the old warming pad covers on the new warming pads and see if I can trick them into using the new ones?

One of my neighbors is going to be on vacation for three weeks. They had a dozen eggs that will expire on December 1st, so they asked if I wanted them. And I took them.

Now, I rarely eat eggs anymore, and even then it's at a restaurant. I haven't bought eggs for my home in years, except when I have guests who eat them. I just put vegan egg substitute powder in my baking and it works perfectly. But anyway... I was actually more excited for my cats than I was for myself.

I cooked a lot of scrambled eggs for my mom, because it was one of the rare things I could get her to eat (the other being peanut butter sandwiches). Mom used to feed Jake & Jenny her eggs all the time, and they went CRAZY for them! I have photos of my mom feeding the kittens her eggs! JUST LOOK AT THIS...

And then the night came! I cooked some scrambled eggs for myself, then took a little bit out and put them into bowls for Jake and Jenny (before I seasoned mine). AND THEY COULDN'T HAVE GIVEN LESS OF A SHIT! Sniffed at them for a minute, then looked at me like "What the hell do you expect me to do with this slop?" Even Jake! THE CAT WHO WILL EAT ANYTHING! Wow...

Just look at that bullshit! Eggs completely untouched!

Before I go, I'm posting a comic by Thrice Fiction contributor Reza Farazmand from his Poorly Drawn Lines strip. It's a flawless summary of cat ownership...

©2025 Reza Farazmand

Yep. There it is.

I have a very long day ahead of me, so let's get to it!

I will invite Jenny to smell whatever she wants to, including any food I might be eating, because she's just being curious. She is picky about whatever stinky cat food I give her, and has zero interest in anything that doesn't stink like fish strongly enough.

Jake, on the other hand, is also curious... except he will eat just about anything. So the only food of mine he's allowed to smell are things I know he won't eat. Like applesauce. For everything else, I just move it away from him and say "Mine!" which he understands perfectly. Once he hears me say that, he stops seeing how close he can get to my food, and sits down and watches me eat it. Very carefully.

Sometimes I will set the plate down in front of him if there's a tiny piece of cheese or a small smear of mayonnaise on there he can eat which won't cause major problems. But it's a rare thing.

Not because I don't want him to have it... but because boy oh boy is he a beefy bear now. Over 17 pounds, because he's forever digging into Jenny's leftovers. It's starting to worry me enough that I've been hovering over the cats while they eat, then I'll jump in and remove Jenny's food when she's done eating it. I mean, just look at my chonky little bear when photographed from behind...

Still a handsome kitty though...

And because I've got another very long day ahead of me tomorrow, I think it's time for beddy-bye.

Whenever Jenny has had enough of me petting her or holding her feet or whatever... she just starts kicking at me to get away while she makes her escape. It's a hilariously cat-like. They manipulate you into getting what they want. And if they don't want you around, they leave.

I can't help but feel I should be learning from that.

In other news... Jake puked on the warming pads I had put on the bed. Both of them!

After I took the covers off the pads to toss them in the wash, I went back upstairs and Jake was sitting on the warm spot left by one of the pads. I crawled back into bed to work for a while, at which point he plopped down next to me and fell asleep...

I think I mentioned how my cats are "talking" a lot more as they get older.

I've decided to talk back.

Jenny was hanging off the cat tree looking at Jake running down the stairs. I was on the couch and started meowing at her. She turned her head to look...

I kept talking to her, at which point she shifted her body more towards me... still hanging off the cat tree...

She doesn't talk back like Jake does. Instead she just looks at me like I'm a moron.

Which is also hilariously cat-like.

This morning I was awakened by Jake hacking up a hairball on the bed. He's been sleeping with me most every night, usually passing out at the blanket I have folded at the foot of the bed. All I could do was say "Good bear, you're puking on the bedding on bedding wash day!"

After wiping up the hairball and stripping the bed to toss everything in the washer, feeding the cats breakfast, and heading back up to get some work done, it started pouring down rain. This caused Jenny to run into the closet to hide, and Jake to hop up on the bed to snuggle up next to me...

And, oh yeah, now that it's colder out I unpacked the warming pads...

This makes them two very happy cats, even though you can't really see it on Jenny with her adorable resting bitch face.

Jake doesn't have a resting bitch face. But he does have a snaggletooth. Some of the time. But lately I've noticed that it's out of his mouth more and more... looking longer than it has in the past...

Weirdly adorable, I think.

There have been a few heart-attack-inducing moments over the years when it comes to my cats.

The one which haunts me most is from 2017 when Jake escaped from the catio. The contractor who attached the roof used screws which were too short. It was made worse because I was flying out for work the next day. What if he had gotten out then?

So imagine my absolute terror when I looked out the window this week and saw that Jenny was looking at me from outside the catio.

Except it wasn't actually Jenny.

From the front, she (or more likely "he" since most orange cats are males) looked exactly like Jenny. It was a Jenny clone. From the side it's a little different story. Jenny has a whirl pattern and longer legs. Though the tail markings are the same...

I mean, just look at those gams...

And speaking of Jenny...

Early in the week, I decided to be a little late for work because Jenny had jumped on the bed for me to pet her, but twisted around to sit on my hand!

Apparently she was very comfortable, because she laid down and eventually fell asleep...

When I came home, Jenny didn't sleep on my hand while I was working on the couch, she instead rolled into the crack between the couch cushions and passed out...

Cats can sleep anywhere. But that doesn't mean they don't try and find the most comfortable place to sleep.

And now, this.

I saw this video of a cat bringing a mouse to get fried up, then being disappointed when it's removed...

I tried to find the original so I could use the video which originated it instead of somebody who stole it. Instead I found loads... loads... of AI slop videos which hasve been made. So now I'm questioning whether or not the one above is even real.

Jake is so not bothered by most anything. Especially when it comes to the litter box. I have one downstairs in the hall closet and another upstairs in my bathroom. I can't tell you how many times I've been in the bathroom and Jake will come in and do his business without giving it another thought.

Jenny couldn't be more different.

She is bothered by just about everything. Especially when it comes to using the litter box.

I woke up early in the morning, stumbled to the bathroom, turned on the light... and... bedlam.

Jenny was in the litter box and went tearing out of it. Since I was in the doorway, she ran to the shower. I felt bad for disturbing her and got out of the doorway so she could run out. Which she did at top speed. Fortunately, she didn't stay mad at me long. An hour later and she was waking me up to be petted and have her feet held (don't worry, I wash my hands after because I know where those feet have been). But she wouldn't look at me...

Or she was bothered by the light out the window that was keeping her awake. Maybe that.

A couple weeks ago I ran down stairs while Jake was in the Litter-Robot (which is near the bottom the the stairs). Didn't phase him a bit. But afterwards, he did climb up on the cat tree and stare at me, like he was saying "What was that about? I WAS ON THE TOILET!"...

Though he did take the time to cover his waste first. That's something.

There are many things frustrating about owning cats. But at the top of the list would be giving them a new food to try... having them absolutely love it... then, once you buy a case of it, they no longer want it. Second most frustrating is when they will eat a certain food for three years then all of a sudden decide they don't want it any more. A could go on. Most of my frustration with my cats are food-related.

Recently I ordered some of the #1 cat food as voted by veterinarians... Smalls

It arrived yesterday, so I served it for dinner.

Jake wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. I sprinkled some stinky dried fish flakes on top... he just licked it off and left the Smalls untouched.

Jenny was excited by the smell and started licking it up immediately. Except she couldn't lick it up because the strange grainy, dry texture just got flattened to the bottom of the bowl.

This morning I knew better than to force it on Jake, so I didn't even bother. I gave him something else. To help Jenny be able to get it into her mouth I mixed it with water so she could actually eat it. And eat it she did. I left them to their breakfast and went back to bed to read some emails.

After a bit I came back downstairs to the living room only to find puke all over the coffee table, the floor, on the side of the couch, and splashed on the side of the entertainment center. The color of the vomit made it very clear that Jenny was the culprit (victim?), because watered-down Smalls was everywhere.

Not that I cared about puke everywhere, that's just part of having cats. But I cared very much that poor Jenny had vomited repeatedly (or one long puke in five locations)...

And so... guess I'll be giving their Smalls to the neighbor cats and see if they handle it better.