My cats have zero fucks left to give.

They've been sliding to this point for years, but it was so gradual that I didn't notice. Now it feels like it actually happened over months. Weeks even.

They want what they want and they want it now. And when it comes to what you want... like sleep? Oh hell no. You don't dare deny them what they want!

And while they do have sweet moments with each other like this...

Jake is a mean bear of a brother. If Jenny is sitting somewhere, he'll decide that he wants to sit there, then antagonize her to leave. Not long ago Jenny was laying at the foot of my bed and Jake decided that this is where he wanted to be, so he just goes over and sits on her. Jenny erupts in a flurry off hisses that seem to genuinely confuse Jake, then she smacks him and runs away because he won't leave.

Jake, for his part, then lays down and goes to sleep as if nothing happened.

But don't feel bad for Jenny.

Because she is happy to treat me exactly the same way.

It's me. I'm the one you should feel sorry for.

Jake keeps getting more and more clingy.

He runs downstairs the minute he hears the garage door open, waits for me to walk in, then comes running up crying so I can stand there and pet him before I even have a chance to put my backpack down.

Then, after I've plopped on the couch and start working or whatever, Jake wants to sleep on me. And it's every day...

I've learned the hard way that you don't wake him up after he's started using you as a bed...

As for Jenny?

She basically just sits up in the cat tree and glares at Jake and me...

We think she's just being jealous.

Jake has been very clingy lately. Which is a bit worrying, because I can't help but wonder if there's something wrong. Though I think that's the opposite of how it usually works? Don't cats usually want to be alone when they are feeling poorly? Maybe Jake is different? Cats.

Last night he climbed on top of me when I fell asleep. I'm a side-sleeper, so this was a bit precarious for a cat his size, so I grabbed a pillow so he would be supported. When I woke up, I had rolled over on my back, but Jake was still there...

In other cat news... look what appeared at the bottom of the stairs this very morning!

MUFASA! This was truly surprising, because Jake lost interest in him months ago. I finally just put his plushie in the cat toy box because he wasn't dragging him around everywhere like he used to. Then this morning... BAM! Mufasa! After breakfast Jake went back to ignoring him, so maybe the reunion is over.

Earlier this week I was on a call for work when the kitty breakfast alarm chimed. A few minutes later I went downstairs while still on the phone, and had to pause my call to take a photo of the cats sitting on the table angry because I didn't immediately rush down to feed them...

I mean... just look at Jake's face. He's furious to have been kept waiting. Even Jenny is surprised at the depth of his rage!

But don't worry about my safety. I was forgiven ten minutes later...

Cats.

There's a big trend on social media where people are posting photos of themselves from 2016... ten years ago.

I decided to go back to 2016 for Jake and Jenny, because I got them for my mom in 2016. Which means that they're over ten years old, which seems impossible. The Human Society didn't know exactly when the cats were born, but based on what they were able to find out, they were guessing the first week of December. Since they have to have a birthday to celebrate, I picked December 6th, 2015. We picked them up on February 16th, 2016.

Still one of the better days of my life...

It's so funny how they're so easily recognizable. They look the same. Except smaller.

In the case of Jake, a lot smaller.

Remember how proud I was that my cats are so polite as to not wake me up when I'm sleeping? They come into my bedroom, and if I'm asleep they walk back out? Well that was good while it lasted. Jenny started waking me up after I went on vacation then went away for the holidays. She comes in, jumps on the bed and starts meowing until I pet her. Usually between 2am and 3am. Then, it's like she told Jake, so now he's doing it as well? The little shits! If I ignore Jake, he'll leave. But Jenny? Oh hell no! She will keep meowing until you give her the attention she wants.

But it's not all bad news.

I found out that Jenny likes my bomb-ass potato salad. She licked the bowl after I had finished...

And Jake still refuses to leave my side since I got home from Christmas vacation...

I wonder if this is an age thing?

Because I used to leave all the time when they were younger and never had them waking me up when I got back.

Oh well. There are worse problems to have.

My cats saved my life this past week. Again. It's an annoying habit they have whenever I'm circling the drain of depression and despair.

But enough about me...

Sometimes when Jenny comes up to me to be petted, she's wet. Never smells like urine as if she's peed all over herself, so I just figured she's been rubbing against something wet out in the catio and dismissed it. But then... I was petting her, she left, went and got a drink of water, then came back wet. And there it was. Her tongue that's half paralyzed (which is why she makes such a mess when eating wet food) is somehow splashing water everywhere which then bounces off of whatever to land on her. Or maybe her tongue is throwing it on her back? Weird. One of these days, I'm going to have to run over to her while she's drinking so I can try and figure out exactly how it's happening. Because it seems physically impossible.

Jenny seems to alternate between being wary of me...

Or resentful of me...

Except when asleep, of course...

Or pretending to be asleep...

Or when I'm petting her. Wet fur and all.

Today I was driving back home from my holiday across the mountains when I got a phone call that was a punch in the gut so unexpected that I had to pull off the road because driving a car became a foreign concept in my head.

And then, after ten minutes to mostly get my head on straight, I was off again...

Because this is the only major East-West route left across the state (flooding destroyed the other one) and it snowed last night, there was major congestion in places... which meant that a 2-1/2 hour trip took 3-1/2 hours to complete.

But at the end when I finally walked through the door to my home, the trip was worth it because it wasn't just Jake waiting for me... both Jake AND Jenny were waiting for me. Which is strange, because Jenny usually prefers to make sure it's safe before venturing downstairs when anybody walks in the house. Including me.

It was a repeat of when I got back from Florida...

...except this time I really needed it.

There is no "worst day" for me after my mom died. That was it. That was the one I get.

Which is why one of the books I'm working on is currently titled Travels with My Mother (and the five worst days of my life). It's a collection of travel stories from when I was visiting places around the world with her interspersed with me recounting the five worst days of my life. It's been fun to write... but difficult too, because it just makes me realize all over again how much I've lost with each new page.

But anyway...

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. She would have been 81 years old.

It's also the day my car tabs are due. Which is one of those unhappy coincidences that I never thought about when I had to buy a new car last December.

So I went to the bookkeeping office where I pay for the tabs, then drove home.

The road to which goes right by the cemetery where my mom is buried. Which is another one of those unhappy coincidences that I never thought about when I picked the easiest route to my home.

But anyway...

Today is Caturday, which only exists because of the two cats I got to keep my mom company and help distract her from being confused all the time. A job Jake and Jenny did exceptionally well...

Yes. I just shared this three Caturdays ago, but I didn't know it would be needed again so soon.

   
And so... happy birthday mom, one day late.

PLEASE TO EXPLAIN CAT!

Jake and Jenny always know when I'm leaving on a trip. They sense it somehow, I guess.

My travel plans for my recent trip were delayed, so I decided to clean the Litter-Robots before I left to Florida instead of having everything be frozen outside when I got back. I finished hosing out the downstairs robot first, then tackled the upstairs robot. AND WHILE I WAS SCRUBBING IT OUT ON THE FRONT LAWN, Jenny decided to USE THE KITTY LITTER BUCKET as the toilet...

NO idea how she fit into it. No clue. But litter was pitched out from her trying to cover it, so she took the job seriously.

Then I left for my trip.

And while I was gone, I was checking in on Jake and Jenny the whole time via my security cameras. It was wild. But the most wild was this... before I left I put a protective blanket over the dining room table. I've started doing this more and more even when I am home because it's the one thing I can't seem to keep my cats off of. I think it's because it's so close to their food bowls. And the kitchen and the stairs and the living room. It's a central space where they can see the entire first floor when they're on top of it. I got tired of scrubbing it with vinegar constantly, but when I put a covering on it I only have to scrub it when people will be eating on it.

ANYWAY... I kept watching as the blanket was falling further and further off the table. I think they were chasing or fighting each other on it, and once it started falling off the table it just kept going little by little as they climbed up there again.

Then one day I noticed that it was almost all the way off the table AND a chair was rocked back. So I scrolled back to find out what happened. And it was exactly what I thought it would be.

Jenny was on the table while her brother was on the part of the blanket which was on the floor. She looked down and saw him there and decided to pull some Jenny shit. She goes to jump on him, snags the chair, and it falls over... until it locks under the table...

And how did the blanket get all the way off the table? Jake decided he wanted to sleep on the chair that was locked under the table, of course! Never mind that he's at an angle, he was apparently comfortable enough to sleep there multiple times until I got home. Here he is in the chair getting up and turning around so he can go to sleep...

So... yeah. Cats are weird. There's no denying it.

Jake is aging before my eyes, and it's worrying me quite a lot.

He seems to be having a tough time, whether it's due to his weight or his age... or both. Watching him going up and down stairs is where I worry the most, though when he is chasing (or being chased) by his sister, he can all of a sudden blaze up and down them. So I'm not sure what's going on. Maybe he's faking it for sympathy.

One thing that hasn't changed is that he's an adorably handsome bear...

Also, he's still just as clingy as ever, falling asleep on me or against me more and more...

And of course he still keeps me company when I'm on video calls at my desk. The minute he hears me talking on the computer, he heads right in and lays on the stair banister next to me, then proceeds to stare at me the entire time...

For a cat that's quickly approaching 60 human years old, Jake is holding up better than I am.