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Bullet Sunday 414

Posted on Sunday, January 4th, 2015

Dave!Time for a new beginning... because the first Bullet Sunday of 2015 starts... now...

   
• Back! Anybody who's a fan of the Back to the Future trilogy knows that it's the year 2015 that Marty travels to in the second film when he follows Doc Brown to do something about his kids. The result is a funky look at what the future has in store... as envisioned by filmmakers in 1989. Though, to be honest, I think they were more concerned with entertainment value than actually attempting to predict what was coming down the pipe in 25 years...

Doc Brown and Marty from Back to the Future II

Newsweek interviewed some futurists to take a look at what Back to the Future II got right... and what they got wrong... and the result is worth a read.

   
• Snoopy! Usually, I'm dead-set against "improving" old animation techniques... especially with a property as beloved as Peanuts, but this looks amazing...

Nothing like what's come before, and yet oddly in-tune with the Peanuts aesthetic. I am hopeful that eventually there's a "making-of" which explains how they're achieving this perfect compromise of old and new.

   
• Remastered! Back before the original Star Wars hit theaters, Marvel Comics had an adaptation in the works... written by Roy Thomas and illustrated by Howard Chaykin. It didn't even hit my radar until I saw Star Wars, at which time I was obsessive about tracking down anything and everything that even mentioned the film. Including Marvel's over-sized movie tie-in. Since it would be years before home video would happen, it was about as good as I could get in re-living the movie. Flash-forward to today, and the adaptation of Star Wars is being remastered for release as a hardcover graphic novel this March. The "remastering" is basically cleaning up the original pages and then recoloring them using today's computerized technology. The original looks something like this (which I've muddied a bit because the paper back then was far from white)...

Marvel Star Wars Original

And here's the new hotness...

Marvel Star Wars Original

Nice. I guess. I mean, the Death Star is no longer day-glo yellow and Darth Vader is no longer day-glo blue which is good. But I think they went a bit too far. The intro panel, for example, doesn't look much like the original Chaykin art... it's all coloring. They even colored over the text panel for crying out loud! While I like the idea of having an updated edition of these comics, I just wish they hadn't gone quite so over-the-top gradient air-brushy with everything. More flat colors and a little more respect for the original linework would have gone a long way towards a better looking updated book.

   
• Giving! Taylor Swift, who seems to have a genuine appreciation for her fans, decided to celebrate her hugely successful foray into pop music this year by sending presents to some of the people who made it possible...

It's a sweet video, and I would have thought that anybody seeing it would love Taylor just a little bit more. And most people did. Except, of course, her haters, which were quick to point out that the millionaire country/pop star spent a mere couple hundred dollars of her massive fortune on this obvious publicity stunt.

So I'd like to point out that even if you're this cynical, there is one thing you can't deny: Taylor Swift doesn't stop at a couple hundred dollars when it comes to giving back. In fact, she topped the "Most Charitable Celebrities" list for 2014... for the third year in a row. Say what you want about her music or how she interacts with her fans but, when it comes to charity in the world of celebrities, it would seem as though few people are doing more than Taylor Swift.

   
• Connectivity! When my Mac displayed an incoming call at work, I couldn't find my iPhone so I accepted the call through my Mac. After the call was over I tore my office apart trying to locate my mobile (which was obviously on silent mode) and couldn't find it. Finally I realized that my Mac was connecting to my iPhone out in my car. I parked close enough that Bluetooth could still reach. Wonderful and bizarre at the same time. Which is how new technology should be, but often isn't. Most of the times now it's just frustration. Like trying to get a file from my iPhone to my Mac using "AirDrop" only to find that it only works half the time. Why? FOR THE LOVE OF JOBS, WHY?!? WHY CAN'T IT WORK EVERY TIME? You got me. And, while I should be happy for the times that this stuff "just works," the fact that you can't count on it is enough me make me want to light my Mac on fire.

   
• Devil! Back when I was at Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe, I posted photos of insane people on the Zambia side of the Zambezi taking a dip in what's known as "The Devil's Pool"...

Victoria Falls

Yesterday I was searching YouTube for people who might have actually filmed the event, and was surprised to find all kinds of videos. Here's just two of them...

   

Given the opportunity, would I partake in this craziness? I really don't know.

   
And there you have it. Don't forget to use "2015" when you write the date!

   

Bullet Sunday 415

Posted on Sunday, January 11th, 2015

Dave!No, this isn't shaping up to be the worst year ever... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Rain! The best thing I've seen all week is this wonderful photo that was entered in the 2015 Sony World Photography Awards. It doesn't get much more adorable than this...

Orangutan in the Rain Photo
Photo by Andrew Suryono for Sony World Photography Awards

One smart primate right there.

   
• People's Choice! I loved Betty White long before it was the cool thing to do. Moments like this are why...

I don't know what's better... Betty White accepting her award with such genuine surprise and appreciation... or the fact that Captain America himself, Chris Evans, escorted her to the stage.

   
• Vegetarian? I can't wait to try it!

Vegetarian Beef with Real Beef!

   
• Back! In Thailand, male friends hold hands all the time. They think nothing of it, and they find it strange that people find it strange. The Thai people are amused by Western hang-ups that make something so innocent and natural be looked upon as scandalous. I, on the other hand, can't be amused, because I know in some areas this simple act could get a guy severely beaten or even killed... gay or not...

Insanity. This society we've build is just plain nuts.

   
• Charlie.

   
• Carter! After the disaster that ended up being Marvel's Agents of SHIELD, I admit to being a bit pessimistic about Marvel's Agent Carter. Yes, it stars the divine Hayley Atwell and is being produced in the style of the brilliant Marvel One-Shot that was attached to the home-video release of Iron Man 3... but there was just so much going against it...

Marvel's Agent Carter Poster

And then I watched it and it was wonderful in every way. It's beautiful to look at and the story means something. And it looks like it's going to be tied to the Marvel Cinematic Universe in terrific ways. We're probably going to see the fallout between Howard Stark and Anton Venko... fathers of Tony (Iron Man) Stark and Ivan (Whiplash) Vanko, respectively. And I'm sure there's going to be an appearance by the Howling Commandos... maybe even Arnim Zola? (please! please! please!). If you're not watching, you should be...

Great stuff.

   
And that's a wrap! Only seven days to go until your next Bullet Sunday fix...

   

Bullet Sunday 416

Posted on Sunday, January 18th, 2015

Dave!I don't mind that it's a cold, wet, miserable day... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Super! I am not much of a Seahawks fan, but I suppose congratulations are in order even though I don't understand overtime rules. Looks like I've got two more weeks of insane 12th Man shenanigans to endure...

Dave and Bad Monkey RABID Hawks Fans

   
• Maroon! Not a fan of Adam Levine or Maroon 5, but have to say this was an awesome idea for a music video...

Apparently, the grooms were informed about the crash (the band had to get permission somehow, I'm guessing), but the brides were not. Clever.

   
• Turing! Necessary reading...

Setting The Record Straight For Alan Turing.

   
• Picture! A while back there was a terrific Instagram photo of a gay couple getting their daughters ready for school that went viral in all the right ways...

Kordale and Kaleb Get Ready

Now Nikon has gone and built a really great commercial around it...

A beautiful family. Lucky kids.

   
• Star-Lord! My totally obsessive man-crush on Chris Pratt continues. The more things like this surface, the more I think this is more than an act... he's a genuinely nice guy who is using his fame for something good. And he's married to Anna Faris...

Chris Pratt Hero

This devotion to kindness deserves every success...

2017 and Guardians of the Galaxy 2 can't get here soon enough.

   
• TED! Everything you know is wrong.

The disturbing news being that chimps have a better understanding of the the world than most people... even if by accident. I, for one, welcome our new simian overlords.

   
• Trews! Russell Brand is a polarizing force of celebritydom whom most people either love or hate. I don't feel strongly enough about him to go to those extremes... and heaven only knows I don't always agree with the guy... but his "The Trews" podcast is essential listening. If nothing else, he's going to get people thinking about current events in a way that may challenge their perceptions. Which is the entire point...

Dead on.

   
And tomorrow is yet another day that people don't have to work. See you at work.

   

Bullet Sunday 417

Posted on Saturday, January 31st, 2015

Dave!I hope all you East Coasters have dug your way out of the blizzard by now... because Bullet Sunday on Saturday starts... now...

   
• Blog! Turns out the reason my blog keeps failing is because database tables are being locked, rendering me unable to post anything. I don't know exactly how to keep it from happening... yet... but at least I know how to fix it without reinstalling everything.

   
• Burma Shave! A few people wrote and asked what's with the "Burma Shave" sign I posted. Since the concept pre-dates even me, here's a link to Wikipedia that explains it all...

Burma Shave!

If you want to take a look at some of the clever jingles Burma Shave came up with over the years, there's a repository for that.

   
• The Pox! It doesn't matter that the whole anti-vaccination movement is bullshit and the people who have been most vocal in claiming vaccinations are harmful are lying assholes... people are buying into it, which means dead diseases, like measles, coming back with a vengeance. There's loads of material online to support vaccination as a critical protection for all society... but Night of the Living Dad has one of my favorite takes on the subject. Here's another...

Too bad people can't get vaccinated against insanity.

   
• Lost? Lost was one of the best shows to hit television. For the first season or two. Then it became an idiotic mess of stupid shit that was piled on top of more stupid shit where nothing was resolved and nothing made sense. I maintained again and again that the writers had no clue what in the hell they were doing and that there could be no pay-off for such random idiotic bullshit. And now? Yep, yep, yep.

   
• Park! "Nara Dreamland," Japan's answer to Disneyland that opened in the 60's, was eventually closed in 2006. Probably because Japan ended up with an "authentic" Disneyland of their own. Since closing, Dreamland has been left abandoned. I was curious to know if anybody had managed to take photos of the empty park, and was surprised to find some incredible shots on a blog by photographer/writer Michael John Grist...

Nara Dreamland Coaster

Well worth your time to visit, if you're into this kind of thing!

   
• SkyMall! As a frequent flier, I was very sad to learn that SkyMall has filed for bankruptcy. Not that I would ever buy their crazy, overprice crap... but it made for some much-needed entertainment on more than a couple flights...

SkyMall Cover!

After all, who wouldn't want a suitcase scooter?

   
And... I'm spent. New bullets in five days.

   

Bullet Sunday 418

Posted on Sunday, February 1st, 2015

Dave!Enjoy a second helping of bullets... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Super! Not a good day for Seahawks fans...

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave Disappointed Seahawk Fan

Better luck net year, guys... and congratulations to the Patriots!

   
• Two! My disappointment that Mila Kunis is not in the sequel is equal to my excitement that Morgan Freeman is...

My guess is that they'll write her off in one line. As in "Hey Johnny, sorry that your wife died in a tragic liposuction accident!. How clever.

   
• Fantastic? Oh joy. Another looks like we're getting yet another comic book movie that shits all over the source material...

This may very well end up being a really good science fiction movie... but, from the looks of things, it has precious little hope of being a good Fantastic Four movie. I wish all the rights for Spider-Man, X-Men, and Fantastic Four would revert back to Marvel where they belong. Sony and 20th Century Fox don't have the slightest frickin' clue what they're doing.

   
• Free the Music! Holy crap do I long for the day that music recording labels just die already so artists can sell the music they want to make directly to their fans... REGARDLESS OF WHERE THOSE FANS MAY LIVE ON THIS PLANET! I am so tired of having to pay astronomical amounts of money for pricey import albums simply because a label refuses to release the music in North America. In case you haven't heard, WE LIVE IN A GLOBAL ECONOMY, ASSHOLES! So instead of bitching and whining about music piracy, why don't you... oh... I dunno... SELL YOUR FUCKING MUSIC TO THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BUY IT SO THEY WON'T HAVE TO STEAL IT?

   
• Live! Even when the guest-host has been good, Saturday Night Live has been pretty sub-par this season. Then Blake Shelton came to visit and we get the funniest episode in ages...

Rumor has it that Eddie Murphy is going to make an appearance for the SNL40 celebration.If anything would get me to tune in... that would be it.

   
It's the end of the bullets as we know it... and I feel fine.

   

Bullet Sunday 419

Posted on Sunday, February 8th, 2015

Dave!Don't let the Grammys get you down... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Rescue! Here's the best thing I saw all week...

Meerkats by Will Burrard-Lucas

Heroes come in all shapes and size. Heroes are around us every day. Heroes inspire everybody to be heroes too. Heroes like this make the world a better place with their actions... no matter how small.

   
• Ravaging! Somebody finally said it...

LOL! ROTFL! LMFAO! I'm guessing this will be all the excuse ignorant morons (and FOX "News") need to restart their idiotic rants on quarantining Africa thanks to an ebola outbreak happening in a tiny piece of the continent.

   
• Super! Ever since I returned from safari in Africa, I've become a little obsessed with African wildlife photography. My favorite images yet come from Will Burrard-Lucas, who managed to get some of the most amazing shots you'll see...

Meerkats by Will Burrard-Lucas

Meerkats by Will Burrard-Lucas

Meerkats by Will Burrard-Lucas

Leopard by Will Burrard-Lucas

Lions by Will Burrard-Lucas

He has a YouTube video up that shows some behind the scenes footage that's pretty great...

Will has a blog that is well worth checking out.

You're welcome!

   
• Cuusoo! Two new LEGO sets I'll be adding to my collection...

   
• Bad! My entire weekend was made when a guy commented and told me that his kid's school lunch menu was recalled after it was discovered that somebody put a DaveToon of a gun-toting Bad Monkey on it...

Bad Monkey on a School Lunch Menu

Genius. And then it hit Reddit where a disturbing yet somehow beautiful insanity ensued.

   
• Sirens! When the show Sirens debuted on USA Network, I read that it was a shitty remake of a UK television series, so I didn't even bother tuning in. Then, every once in a while, somebody would mention how funny it was and how much they loved it, and I regretted not giving it a chance...

Sirens from USA Network

And then I noticed that it was recently added on Netflix.

Nothing groundbreaking... a situation comedy built around three EMTs in Chicago... but I actually find it kinda funny. So now I'm addicted to the show and binge-watching the ten episodes from the first season while adding the just-started second season to my DVR. If you're looking for a distraction from daily life, this might be worth a look (NSFW language included).

   
And... we're done. More bullets in a mere seven days.

   

Bullet Sunday 422

Posted on Sunday, March 1st, 2015

Dave!Don't let the drone surveillance get you down... because Bullet Sunday on Monday starts... now...

   
• Vaccinate! Classic...

And yet... the measles epidemic rages on. Thanks, Jenny McCarthy!

Jenny Stupid Fucking McCarthy

You're a horrible, horrible person.

   
• MURICA! Because nothing says "freedom" better than being able to scream "YOU'RE FIRED, FAGGOT!" when you find out that one of your employees is gay, and being 100% within the law... Arkansas has passed an anti-non-discrimination bill SB 202...

Odd Couple Promo

I've heard of legislating morality... but legislating immorality? Way to go, Arkansas. There's some terrific things about your state, but this is a fucking embarrassment. Shame on everyone who had a hand in dragging "The Natural State" back to less enlightened times.

   
• Widow! The hype machine for Avengers: Age of Ultron is really amping up, with individual character posters being released this week. Could not possibly be more excited to see this film come May...

BLACK WIDOW, BABY

Looks like Black Widow may finally... finally be getting some tech that ups her game. They showed her using a built-in taser in the last Avengers film, but that's a far cry from the "Widow's Bite" blasters she sports in the comics. I certainly hope it comes to pass, because it seems completely illogical that Tony Stark wouldn't give her some advanced weaponry to make her a stronger part of the team.

   
• Laugh? The Matthew Perry version of The Odd Couple finally debuted and it's far, far worse than I imagined. Mostly because they're using a frickin' laugh track. This idiotic and antiquated method of attempting to make unfunny crap seem hilarious is just pathetic, and only serves to underline how funny something is not to modern audiences...

Odd Couple Promo

What kills me is how Matthew Perry can't seem to find a lead role in a vehicle that's worth his talent lately. He was essential viewing in Friends, he was a revelation as Joe Quincy on The West Wing, he was bordering on genius on Studio 60, and he was terrific on The Good Wife... I even liked his movies okay. But when it comes to finding a new show, he's been rolling in shit. Mr. Sunshine was abysmal. Go On was horrific. And now there's this hot mess? Sad. Just sad.

   
• MARCIA MARCIA MARCIA! Hot on the heels of Snicker's awesome Brady Bunch/Danny Trejo mashup comes this epic art installation...

I love it when companies create ad campaigns you actually want to see. In case you missed the original commercial, here you go...

The teaser ad was equally filled with awesome...

Yep. That's advertising done right, right there.

   
• Photographic! I used to carry a pocket camera with me everywhere I went to capture those unexpected moments that are begging for a picture to be taken. Then the iPhone 4 came along with its terrific built-in camera, and I started leaving my pocket camera at home more often than not. Why bother when I can get shots like this...

Wenatchee River Fall Colors

Then the iPhone 5 was released with an even better camera, and suddenly I found myself ditching the pocket camera completely. Now that I've got an iPhone 6 with its amazing camera, I've been doing something I never thought I'd do... go on some of my travels without taking my DSLR with me. It's a mind-boggling prospect, but the shots I can get out of a frickin' camera phone are so good that it's not a much of a sacrifice at all.

This week Apple finally realized what most of us already know... the iPhone is a really good camera. And they've started a nifty ad campaign to let everybody else know it too. They've also added an amazing "World Gallery" to their website...

Shot with iPhone
Shot by Silke W. in Bali, Indonesia

A lot of people are carrying smart phone with them everywhere they go now-a-days. Which means a lot of people have a camera on them all the times. Which means a lot of photo opportunities that were once missed are being captured. It's an amazing time we live in.

   
And... I'm wrecked. See you next Sunday.

   

Bullet Sunday 423

Posted on Sunday, March 8th, 2015

Dave!You can stop being depressed that the end of Daylight Saving Time stole an hour of your life... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Saturday Night! How refreshing to watch an episode of SNL that doesn't have you fast-forwarding through the whole thing! The highlight of the episode, of course, was guest host Chris Hemsworth as Thor celebrating The Avengers' triumph over Ultron...

Thor Celebrates Victory Over Ultron on SNL

Thor Celebrates Victory Over Ultron on SNL

Thor Celebrates Victory Over Ultron on SNL

Thor Celebrates Victory Over Ultron on SNL

Thor Celebrates Victory Over Ultron on SNL

Thor Celebrates Victory Over Ultron on SNL

Thor Celebrates Victory Over Ultron on SNL

"Victory Party at Dave & Busters" is probably one of the best things to appear on Saturday Night Live in over a decade.

   
• Heroic! And speaking of Marvel comic book movie heroes named "Chris" doing amazing things... even though Chris Evans won his Super Bowl bet with Chris Pratt, he appeared at Seattle Children's Hospital in costume as Captain America anyway...

Captain America and Star Lord visit Seattle Children's Hospital

Captain America and Star Lord visit Seattle Children's Hospital

This is after he appeared with Pratt (who was in costume as Star Lord) at Boston's Christopher's Haven after winning the bet...

Captain America and Star Lord visit Seattle Children's Hospital

What a decent couple of guys. It would have been so easy to skip the effort involved in doing something so amazing... on top of raising $27,000 for these terrific children's charities... but they're using their fame and fortune exactly how it should be used, and that's the best kind of hero you can be.

   
• Super! Well, it's not as hideous as I feared... a little dark maybe... but the suit for the upcoming Supergirl television show has been revealed...

Supergirl Costume... REVEALED!

Costume designer Colleen Atwood has a pretty darn good track record with the costumes for Arrow and The Flash, and it looks like she's got another home run on her hands. Melissa Benoist is certainly looking super enough for the part, that's for sure.

   
• Presidential? HE'S offended?!? I don't know what offends ME more... that Rand Paul is a bigoted piece of shit... or that he's propagating anti-vax idiocy... or that his concept of foreign policy is so far removed from reality that he might as well live in Narnia... or that some of his domestic policy ideas are so impossibly naive that you have to wonder if he's switched bodies with his younger 13-year-old self like what happened in that Jennifer Garner movie 13 Going on 30... or... or... or... holy crap... he's probably going to run for president, isn't he?

   
• McCarthyism! If my name were associated with being a complete and total piece of shit who is responsible for children getting sick and even dying, I'd want to change it too.

Jenny Stupid Fucking McCarthy

She's just the absolute worst.

   
• Lonny! I have no clue how Next Time on Lonny escaped my notice... for two seasons... but catching up on the web series while working at work this fine Sunday was definitely the best part of my day. WARNING: Contains all matter of profanity, depravity, and violence... definitely NSFW...

Sure thing, Dog Moon! You can't just watch just one, because the insanity escalates with each new episode.

   
• Sausage! If Lonny wasn't enough to satisfy your comedy craving this fine Sunday, the guys at Nacho Punch have created a porn film "by Wes Anderson" that's beyond dead-accurate...

You know you're getting tired of the repetitive wackiness of Wes Anderson films when you can't tell the parodies from the real thing any more.

   
The end. I'd post more bullets, but with only 23 hours in the day, I haven't got the time.

   

Bullet Sunday 424

Posted on Sunday, March 15th, 2015

Dave!All the world's troubles getting you down? Well, things are about to turn around... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• ELECTRA WOMAN AND DYNA GIRRRRRRRL! I don't know what's cooler... that they're resurrecting Electra Woman and Dyna Girl... or that they've tapped some amazing internet personalities for the leads. Daily Grace's Grace Helbig and My Drunk Kitchen's Hannah "Harto" Hart are (apparently) already filming the series...

   
Electra Woman and Dyna Girl!

Oh yeah! For the uninitiated, bask in the glory...

ELECTRA TRICKY! Can't wait.

   
• Gauntlet! I will never get tired of watching movie heroes being heroes in real life...

Robert Downey Jr.'s awesomeness really knows no bounds.

   
• John Lewis. And then there's real-life heroes. In case you missed it... so worth your time... so worth your time... so worth your time...

This terrific (albeit brief) interview from The Daily Show featured a mind-bogglingly good talk with Representative John Lewis, whose advocacy for civil rights is about as inspiring as anything you will ever find. As if THAT wasn't enough,.. John Stewart mentioned that Rep. Lewis had a couple of graphic novels out which presents his story in comic book form. And they are glorious. Fantastic art. Great story. Well worth your time to track down... and you can even purchase them digitally at Comixology... just $8 for Vol. One! Highest possible recommendation.

   
• Wonder? Where do I even start. Wonder Woman's new costume has to be one of the ugliest, most disorganized, least elegant, "toss in the kitchen sink" super-hero costumes ever. Just no...

   
New Wonder Woman Costume Disaster

The criticism has always been that Wonder Woman's costume shows too much skin to be taken seriously as a super-hero. Her costume is impractical. So, instead of tastefully updating her look to address these concerns, they just keep slapping more and more shit on her until now she looks like garbage.

And, as if that wasn't horrific enough, I give you the new Superman costume...

   
New Superman Costume Disaster

If that's what you can call it. More disturbing to me than this joke of a "costume" is that the artist has such a massively skewed idea of anatomy that Superman's legs are so long one has to wonder how he is able to sit in a chair. Who in the hell is running DC these days that total shit like this is seeing the light of day?

   
• Archie? Next up on the comic book makeover roster...

   
Archie Upgrade

Now... this one I get. They're trying to shift Archie away from his 1940's comic strip roots and move him into modern comic book times. By creating a more "realistic" version of the character, they're obviously trying to keep the Archie gang relevant in the year 2015. I don't know if this will be a successful reimagining, but they certainly did a good job of it.

   
• LOL! Yep, this pretty much sums up my impression of the new MacBook... LMFAO! LOL! ROTFL! LTIP!

"That's an extra $79 accessory!"

It's only a matter of time...

Heh.

   
• Lively! Murder. Uh huh. Genocide. Right. But is homosexuality worse than kicking a puppy? THAT'S what I want to know. I mean, come on, a little perspective here...

Disgusting. That people still listen to this bigoted piece of shit is just beyond my ability to comprehend. IT'S OVER, YOU STUPID FUCK! YOU LOST! SO JUST GO SIT IN THE CORNER WITH YOUR BIGOTRY AND BE THE PATHETIC LOSER YOU ARE!

   
Annnnnnd... Bullets, out!

   

Bullet Sunday 425

Posted on Sunday, March 22nd, 2015

Dave!Don't step on my blue suede shoes... because Bullet Sunday from Memphis starts... now...

   
• HRC! The reason for my trip to Memphis is to visit the new Hard Rock Cafe here (they moved further down Beale Street to a much better location). It's also to get out of town on my birthday. Since I don't celebrate the date, it's just easier all the way around to skip town. I'm crafty like that.

   
• Hub! When Delta had a hub here in Memphis, it was relatively easy (and cheap!) to get here. After Delta pulled the hub, it's not so easy and pricey as hell. My Delta flight was $842, which I ended up paying with miles because $842 is insane. I believe Delta only runs flights through Atlanta or Minneapolis now. When I complained about the cost, my driver said that he picked up a guy that flew in from Dallas who paid over $1000. And thus begins my biggest fear for Seattle. Delta is playing serious hardball to push out Alaska Airlines and establish a hub in Seattle. But if they are successful, how long will it last? Five years down the line once they're the only major game left in town, will they pull out and destroy Seattle's air travel options like they did here in Memphis? Will it then cost me $1000 and require two or three stops to get anywhere? People should have serious pause in supporting Delta over Alaska Air considering what the future may bring.

   
• QDOBAAAAAA! I skipped breakfast this morning so I could use my two-for-one birthday coupon at Qdoba's SeaTac Airport on my way out. One egg & cheese breakfast burrito and one veggie burrito please!

I wish they'd let you come back for your freebie. I'm so full now that I think I may explode in mid-air if the cabin pressure goes sideways.

   
• Wheeee! They "changed equipment" for my flight, so my nice aisle seat was traded NOT for another aisle seat... but a middle seat. Other than a woman on one side bringing a seven course meal onboard and a woman on the other side not knowing what a damn Kleenex is, things could have been worse for the four hours and twenty minutes I was enroute, I suppose. Then... THEN I board my flight from Atlanta to Memphis only to find out my seat is broken. As in the seat keeps reclining and it's not fully bolted to the floor. A gentleman two rows up is in the same boat. They have somebody from Mechanical come onboard who decides that the two clearly broken seats are not, in fact, broken. The flight is full, but they manage to move me because I'm "not happy"(?!??)... only to then put somebody else in my broken-ass seat. Gotta maximize that revenue! Who cares if your passengers are miserable! JUST TAKE THEIR DAMN MONEY!!!

   
• Checkout!

What time will you be checking out?

Thinking that my hotel status was allowing a late checkout I reply Is 2:00 okay?

No.

Oh, then how about 1:00 then?

No.

Well I give up then... why don't you tell me what time I'm checking out.

You have to check out at noon.

Okay then, noon. Why bother asking if you're just going to dictate the checkout time anyway?

Oh we're required to ask with this verbiage.

The stupid. It burns. If you have to ask, why not have "verbiage" which asks in a way that doesn't make your guest feel stupid? What's wrong with saying "Our checkout time is noon... do you know what time you'll be leaving us?" — or whatever. Because, seriously, who is the idiot who comes up with this crap? Obviously somebody who knows jack-shit about customer service. They also know jack-shit about serving up internet, as it continuously me off. So much for those four stars I paid for.

   
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try and get some sleep in this heartbreak hotel.

   

Bullet Sunday 426

Posted on Sunday, March 29th, 2015

Dave!Don't touch that back button... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Arthur! After a long, long wait in Swedish Doggy Quarantine... Arthur, the stray dog who joined an adventure racing team in Ecuador, has finally been released!

Arthur Freed from Quarantine

In case you're not up on this genuinely heartwarming story, here ya go...

   

Congrats to Arthur and Team Peak Performance!

   
• Clean Sheets! Doesn't everybody love them?

   
• TWO! In addition to the upcoming Clerks 3, Kevin Smith has unveiled plans for Mallrats 2, much to the surprise of just about everyone. Negotiations appear to be ongoing, but it seems as though the majority of the cast has signed on, including Smith, Jason Lee, Jeremy London, Ethan Suplee, Shannen Doherty, Stan Lee, Jason Mewes, Michael Rooker, and Renee Humphrey...

Kevin Smith and Shannen Doherty!

   
• Ninja! Well this is pretty epic...

Whatever this guy is making, he's underpaid.

   
• Freedom to Discriminate! Uh huh...

I'm guessing that's a "yes" then?

   
And there you have it... no more bullets for a week!

If you're lucky.

   

Bullet Sunday 427

Posted on Sunday, April 5th, 2015

Dave!Put on your Easter bonnet... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Egg! Happy Easter!

DAVETOON: Bad Monkey Easter Bunny

   
• Trek! Happy First Contact Day!

Star Trek First Contact

   
• Seder! And... hope you had a happy Passover yesterday!

Lil' Dave and Bad Monkey at Seder

   
• Watch! Still not sold on Apple Watch, but have to admit the thought that went into creating it is pretty amazing.

It's the Apple Watch

Too thick. Too expensive. For me.

For now.

   
• Like! Yep.

Expectations inside the social media bubble.

   
• Burberry! When "To Serve and Protect" involves showing up to somebody's house by mistake and shooting their dog, something is very, very wrong...

Burberry The Dog

Errr... more wrong.

   
• Pat! Jesus.

The fact that people continue to take this dipshit seriously... let alone send him their money... boggles my mind.

   
And... time for an egg salad sandwich!

   

Bullet Sunday 429

Posted on Sunday, April 19th, 2015

Dave!No need to look for an excuse to go on living... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Raptor! Too many good movies on the way this year.

Jurassic World is one of them...

Daredevil Affleck

If he gets the lead in the Indiana Jones reboot as well, Chris Pratt is going to own the known universe.

   
• Movies! Speaking of movies to look forward to, where did this come from?

Ian McKellen as a 93-year-old Sherlock Homes off to solve one last case? Count me in.

   
• Farce! On the other hand...

This might very well be be a good movie. Not the Fantastic Four, however. Is it too much to hope that Marvel gets the rights back after this movie shits the bed? Worked for Spider-Man. Kinda.

And don't even get me started...

   
• George! He may have irreparably damaged the Star Wars franchise for an entire generation... but George Lucas isn't 100% evil. His epic plan to build affordable housing in Marin County.

   
• Blam! When did the National Rifle Association go from being an organization dedicated to gun safety to a political mouthpiece for bigoted assholes?

The NRA made a fundraising career out of terrifying people with "OBAMA'S GONNA TAKE YOUR GUNS!" Now that it all turned out to be a steaming pile of bullshit, I guess the NRA is moving on to "There ain't gonna be no more coloreds in The White House... and no bitches either!" rhetoric to bring in the donations.

Anxiously looking forward to the next round of NRA FUD designed to keep the country divided and their wallets filled.

   
• Awww! Trying to end things on a positive note for once, introducing... The Incredible Nursing Cat!

   
Until next we meet...

   

Bullet Sunday 430

Posted on Sunday, April 26th, 2015

Dave!My eyes may be bruised and battered, but I'm glad to be alive... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Thanks, Obama! The president's speech at this year's White House correspondents' dinner was literally laugh-out-loud funny. Probably the best CD speech I've ever heard. Self-deprecating in all the right ways... yet nicely vicious in the right ways too...

Killed it.

   
• Speech! And Cecily Strong did an amazing job too...

I'm guessing that's going to rub some people the wrong way...

   
• Mo! Oh shit! Did the Surgeon General's nurse just give Elmo autism?!?

Av ery good question indeed! Hmmm...

   
• Color! Man of Steel was a shitty movie that took a huge, steaming dump all over Superman... but this makeover would have gone a long way towards at least making it LOOK like a Superman movie...

Next up, Zach Snyder gets to drop a load all over Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.

   
• Joker Products! And speaking of taking a dump all over a beloved DC Comics character, here comes Suicide Squad...

DAVETOON! Lil' Dave is sick with his eyes closed and his tongue hanging out.

I am interested in seeing what Jared Leto brings to the role, as he's an incredibly talented actor who seems a perfect fit. But this "look" they've got going for him seems more silly than scary. I'm trying to keep an open mind here, but Hipster Joker? Really?

   
• Relief. A massive earthquake has killed over 3000 people in Nepal, injured scores of others, and affected millions. As always, Doctors Without Borders is there. If you have a few extra bucks in your pocket, you can help them to help others by donating here.

   
And now it's time to put my aching eyes to bed. See you in seven days... same Bat-Time, same Bat-Channel.

   

Bullet Sunday 431

Posted on Sunday, May 3rd, 2015

Dave!Don't be intimidated by The Biggest Little City in the World... because Bullet Sunday from Reno starts... now...

   
• Reno! I have been to Reno exactly once, years ago. It looks much the same. Except the Planet Hollywood restaurant is gone. That cool sign is still there though...

Reno Arch

Too bad I'm not much of a gambler.

   
• Avengers! Well...

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Not that I didn't have fun. I had a great time. It's a comic book geek's dream come true. Except it wasn't quite the movie I was hoping for. But I'll get to that on Wednesday. Probably.

   
• Rand. Was very sad to learn that the lovely Grace Lee Whitney has died...

Grace Lee Whitney as Janice Rand

So many Star Trek alums are passing on. And suddenly I feel very old.

   
• Supremes! Food for thought while The Supreme Court battles it out over marriage equality...

When churches get involved in politics, they should have their tax-exempt status revoked. Never seems to happen though, and they're more active than ever before.

   
• Chocolate! The flight attendant for my Reno trip was sweet to give me a chocolate bar snack. They often do this when you're an Alaska Air elite flyer and the plane doesn't have a First Class section. I guess it's supposed to make you forget you're in coach? In any event, it's such a nice gesture and is always appreciated. The interesting thing about this bar was the flavor...

Agave Quinoa Sesame Chocolate?

Agave Quinoa Sesame Chocolate? Isn't that about the most hipster flavor you can imagine? Turns out it's quite tasty though. Interesting texture and a pleasing taste. And then there's the inside of the wrapper...

Chocolate with a Side of Ass?

Chocolate plus a donation... with a Side of butt-shot? So weird.

   
• Mime Time! And, lastly, here's something to end your Sunday on a high note. Kinda.

   
And here... we... go...

   

Bullet Sunday 432

Posted on Sunday, May 10th, 2015

Dave!Don't be intimidated by The Biggest Little City in the World... because Bullet Sunday from Reno starts... now...

   
• Love! Yeah. Uh huh.

   
• Carter! ABC has given Agent Carter a second season!

Marvel's Agent Carter Poster

They also renewed Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., which would be exciting if the show wasn't so awful. Who knows... maybe they'll actually do something with it this Fall to make it worth my valuable time. But somehow I doubt it.

   
• Dawson! In other terrific Marvel news, Rosario Dawson has been confirmed for Season Two of Daredevil... plus other Netflix Marvel projects! In the comics, she's kinda an important piece of the Luke Cage puzzle, so it will be interesting to see how they work that into his series...

Marvel's Agent Carter Poster

One of my few regrets for Season One of Daredevil was that Rosario didn't have more screen time. Hopefully that will be rectified next year.

   
• Remember? I didn't read into Age of Ultron the anti-feminist viewpoint that has some people up in arms over how Black Widow was written. I save my rage for crap like this...

I'm guessing this is a case of "manwashing" the character of Black Widow so it will better appeal to young boys. Meanwhile, young girls that are into comics and super-hero movies get shitted on. Not that they can't enjoy a Captain America toy too... but come on.

   
• Lucifer! UPDATE: This doesn't look like it's going to be a faithful adaptation of the comic book of the same name, but I'm excited to see it nevertheless...

I don't suppose it's too much to hope that we get an appearance of Constantine in this series now that his own series has been canceled? It's a natural fit.

   
And... so much for bullets this week...

   

Bullet Sunday 433

Posted on Sunday, May 17th, 2015

Dave!Rainy days and Sundays shouldn't get you down... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Carson! This clip is SO good. Makes me realize how much I miss Carson... and how much I'm going to miss Letterman...

As much as I'm looking forward to seeing what Stephen Colbert is going to do in late-night space, I am gutted at the prospect of Letterman closing out The Late Show. I may not be a consistent viewer, but I go on Letterman binges that make me very glad he's around. Until he won't be.

   
• Slider! Before I became a vegetarian, I was a fan of White Castle and their infamous mini hamburgers, better known as "sliders." There's no White Castle near me... I only got to eat there when I went to the coast, so it was a rare treat. After I became a vegetarian, White Castle (and my beloved In-N-Out Burger) were off the menu. Earlier this year White Castle did the unthinkable... they released a VEGETARIAN SLIDER! And I was beyond thrilled. Until I went to actually order one. Instead of a mini vegetarian burger topped with onions and a pickle like a real slider, you got a vegetable patty packed with carrots and peas and shit topped with your choice of honey mustard, ranch or Thai sauce. WHAT THE FUCK, WHITE CASTLE?!? I don't want that vegetable shit with salad dressing... I want a damn WHITE CASTLE SLIDER! To say I was disappointed is a massive understatement. Once again a restaurant tries to do a good thing badly by grossly misreading what vegetarians want. We don't want a vegetable version of what everybody else is getting... we want what everybody else is getting without having to kill an animal to get it. McDonalds totally nailed it with their "McVeggie Deluxe," but White Castle... like Burger King before them... failed utterly with their vegetable-infused monstrosity. Enter Gardein's "The Ultimate Beefless Sliders"...

Kingsman Movie Poster

They're perfect. And delicious. Add some lightly grilled onions and a pickle and it's the slider I've been wanting all along. Except... holy crap are they expensive. $6.00 a box! That's $1.50 a slider! Isn't a White Castle slider like 50¢ or something? All those government subsidies for America's toxic beef industry must be nice.

   
• Kingsman! I had rather high expectations after viewing the trailers for Kingsman: The Secret Service... and Michael Vaughn blew past every one of them...

Kingsman Movie Poster

Such a great movie! It's a smart, funny, action-packed spy thriller with a cast to die for, a really good story, and violence so over the top it verges on comedic.

Following in his father's footsteps, Eggsy Unwin trains to be an elite agent in Britain's premiere secret spy organization: Kingsman. And it's a good thing too... evil internet billionaire Valentine (played to the hilt by Samuel L. Jackson) has plans to wipe out the human race! Features epic appearances by Colin Firth, Mark Strong, Jack Davenport, Mark Hammill, Jack Davenport, and Michael Caine... along with strong breakout performances by Sofia Boutella and Taron Egerton. The film did some major box office action, so I'm hoping for a sequel. If you've read the comic book version, this is considerably different, but not in a bad way at all.

   
• Seventh Son! Unfortunately, another movie I had been looking forward to did not fare so well...

Seventh Son Movie Poster

Despite a really good cast, Seventh Son ended up being a complete and total turd. Jeff Bridges and Julianne Moore are great actors that defy all expectations by turning in truly awful performances. And while the story (based on a series of books) had huge potential (an 18th century evil spirit hunter learning his trade), it was utterly wasted in this mess of a film. Fortunately, like Jupiter Ascending, it bombed at the box office so we'll be spared any sequels. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

   
• Super! When I saw the extended "First Look" for the new Supergirl series, I was pleasantly surprised...

Looks like the team behind Arrow and The Flash have done it again! And then I watched the first actual trailer... only to discover that, apparently, we're getting "Team Supergirl." Which sucks ass. "Team Arrow" I get... it was core to the concept of the show's take on the character. But "Team Flash" is just unnecessary layers of shit, as Barry would have been much more interesting figuring out everything on his own. And "Team Supergirl" is an even worse idea. Why in the hell can't super-heroes exist on their own without some kind of stupid "team" there to constantly steal their thunder? Greg Berlanti and Andrew Kreisberg are clearly out of ideas here, and I wish that they would stop being called in to rehash their same tired concepts over and over again on new super-hero shows.

   
• Toys! Ending things on a down-note... I was sad to learn that F.A.O. Schwarz will be closing their doors come July. This iconic toy store is probably best remembered for it's part in the movie Big, but I'll better remember it as "that one place I visit every single time I'm in New York."

F.A.O. Schwarz in the movie Big

On one hand, I get it... online shopping is rapidly displacing retail shops for things like toys, so profits can't keep up with the cost of rent... but it's still sad that such a special part of New York City is going to evaporate. I mean, damn, 145 years?

   
And... back to my rainy Sunday...

   

Bullet Sunday 435

Posted on Sunday, May 31st, 2015

Dave!Don't dream it's over... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Selfie! As somebody who narrowly avoided getting smacked by somebody unable to control their selfie-stick this past week, I applaud Pizza Hut for their PSA...

When I have completed my bid for world domination, possession of a "selfie stick" will be punishable by death. If somebody ever smacks me with one of these things, that stick is going straight up their ass.

   
• Wha-?!? CatDuck!

   
• Reality? The Briefcase, a new "reality TV" show on CBS, is one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen on television... and that's saying something. "Let's exploit people with financial troubles for entertainment value!" — Holy shit. THIS is where we're at? Really?

The concept of the show is that a struggling family is given a briefcase full of money and introduced to another struggling family. They then have to decide how much of the money to keep and how much to give to the other family. BUT LITTLE DO THEY KNOW... the other family was given a briefcase full of cash too! Oh the drama!

You just KNOW that eventually one family is going to keep all the money while the other family will give all the money, creating a briefcase super-villain family that will be absolutely crucified by social media. As if keeping free money you desperately need is some kind of pure evil. I bet this show does gangbuster ratings. Human beings are the absolute worst. Fuck CBS for this disgusting, horrific exploitation of the poor.

   
• Wait! New music just dropped from one of my favorite bands, Postiljonen...

Beautiful, as always. Can't wait for a new album to hit!

   
•Giddy! Twelve. More. Days.

YOU CAN PLAY AS A LEGO DINOSAUR, PEOPLE!

   
And that's all the bullets we have today... move along, there's nothing to see here...

   

Bullet Sunday 436

Posted on Sunday, June 7th, 2015

Dave!Don't let the impending heat of summer get you down... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Charity! Before donating your hard-earned money to any organization... no matter how well-known or popular, RESEARCH THEM FIRST! That's what sites like Charity Navigator are for! Given how little charity money is available, it's critical that donations be spent somewhere where they'll be put to the best possible use instead of pissed away by people who either don't know what they're doing... or are corrupt.

THE WASHINGTON POST: The Red Cross had $500 million in Haitian relief money, but it built just 6 houses.

   
• Balls! First of all, congratulations to Serena Williams for her 20th Grand Slam Singles Victory. But it was her sister Venus who was part of the best tennis-related video I saw this week...

So frickin' adorable.

   
• Aw! And speaking of dogs who steal your heart, pull out the box of tissues...

I admit to being perplexed at the ending... until the real ending appeared. If only all advertising were this moving... and effective.

   
• Fletch! WHY, LORD? WHY WAS THERE NO "FLETCH 3?" I loved both Fletch films so hard. I purchased them the minute iTunes Store had them in HD. Of course I have them both on DVD (and Fletch on Blu-Ray... I don't think they ever released Fletch Lives on Blu-Ray).

Fletch Movie Poster

The first Fletch was probably a better film with a more interesting, complex story... but there were so many amazing funny moments in Fletch Lives (including everything by Cleavon Little!) that I ended up liking it equally.

Fletch Movie Poster

Fletch Lives earned $40 million in box office on an $8 million budget. That's down from the $60 million box office and the same budget for Fletch, but it's still a respectable haul. Especially when you consider that millions more dollars were raked in from home video. So why in the hell was there no Fletch 3?!? I dunno. Maybe Chevy didn't want to make another one? I remember that Kevin Smith was supposed to be filming Fletch Won with Jason Lee a while back (awesome casting), but apparently nothing came of it. With Hollywood remaking everything in existence, I wonder why Fletch isn't making the grade? It's too funny to be stuck in development hell like this.

   
• Africa! Misconceptions about Africa here in the USA continue to baffle me. Mostly because people keep referring to "Africa" as a "country" instead of a "continent," but there's so much more...

If you are lucky enough to have the opportunity, visit Africa and leave your stereotypes and misconceptions behind.

If you are not so lucky as to visit Africa, for heaven's sake... educate yourself!

   
• Fields! Many congratulations to Maryam Mirzakhani for her historic win of the Fields Medal... one of the most prestigious honors that mathematicians can have bestowed upon them. She's the first woman to do so, and will hopefully break down a few more barriers for women in mathematics. Mirzakhani credits her brother for getting her interested in science. Unfortunately, many girls don't have such inspiration, and studies have shown over and over again that girls are actively discouraged from pursuing math and science when it comes to their education and career planning. This needs to change.

   
Annnnnnnd... DONE! See you next week!

   

Bullet Sunday 437

Posted on Sunday, June 14th, 2015

Dave!Your life just got a little bit more complicated... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Married! I'm a huge fan of Murad Osmann and Natalia Zakharova's Instagram artistry. Osmann's series of photos featuring his girlfriend leading him all around the world is captivating...

Follow Me To...

Follow Me To...

Follow Me To...

Follow Me To...

Follow Me To...

Follow Me To...

And now they've gotten married!

Follow Me To...

There's plenty more of these amazing shots over at Instagram.

Congratulations to you both! I look forward to where you'll be taking us next.

   
• Dingbats! I was saddened to learn that Hermann Zapf, world-famous German typographer had died. He created some of the most beautiful typefaces ever crafted, and left a body of work that will be admired as long as we still communicate with letterforms. As noted in the article above, Zapf's favorite typeface he created is "Optima," which is one of my favorites as well. Most people probably know him best for Palatino and Zapf Dingbats, which are fonts that have been installed on a lot of computers over the years. Your artistry will be missed.

   
• Two Bits! Refusing to let a gay man to cut your hair is like refusing to let a Michelin Three Star Chef make you a sandwich. Sublimely stupid. But nobody can accuse homophobic bigots of being smart.

   
• Robertson! What a dumb fucking asshole...

With that logic, how can Pat Robertson be against abortion? Maybe abortion doctors are just an instrument of God who wants to stop the next Hitler from happening. Just die already, you heartless, vile, hypocritical, disgusting turd.

   
• GAH! Guess I'm going to be getting Alzheimer's any minute now: Poor sleep might be the mechanism that triggers Alzheimer’s memory loss.

   
• Moose! Probably the best thing I saw all week...

Hopefully more Alaskans will show some kindness for animals caught in the middle of record high temperatures.

   
So long, bullets.

   

Bullet Sunday 438

Posted on Sunday, June 21st, 2015

Dave!Time to make that annual call to daddy... because Bullet Sunday on Father's Day starts... now...

   
• Dad! Oh yeah... happy Father's Day to all the dads out there!

I love a clever ad campaign.

   
• Hobbes! I live for stories like this.

Hobbes at Tampa Airport

And now I am missing Calvin and Hobbes. Again. Still.

   
• JEB!, MUTHAFUCKER! And so Jeb! Bush unveiled the logo for his 2016 presidential campaign...

What kills me here... other than the fact that this is a shitty, shitty logo... is the lengths good ol' Jeb! is going to distance himself from his Bush legacy. Like everybody is going to forget that he's a Bush when they go to the voting booth and see John Ellis "Jeb" Bush on the ballot. But, hey, what do I know? People are so stupid that it just might work! In which case Hillary Clinton should have done this...

Bush Clinton 2016

Which is only slightly less offensive than her actual logo.

Oh gawd... this is really happening...

BUSH VS. CLINTON 2016 Stewie
Originally spotted at Meme Generator.

= bursts into tears =

   
• Gotcha! This New York Times Magazine story... all over the place. Answer the damn question, say you don't have an opinion, say you don't understand the question, say you need time to get an answer together, say you just don't know... whatever... just stop blaming the journalist because they are doing their job by asking the questions people want answers to. Escaping to "gotcha-land" is the last refuge of an idiot and a coward.

Crybaby Gotcha
Illustration by Javier Jaén. Child: Michael Svoboda/iStock. Microphones: Picsfive/Shutterstock.

Though, in their defense, idiots and cowards seem to constitute the bulk of the political landscape. We're ass-deep in idiots and cowards.

   
• Kit? Apple shit the bed so hard with HomeKit that there's a gaping hole in their mattress where common sense once rested. This story is just nuts. HomeKit went from being a shining beacon of what home automation should be... to an incomprehensible nightmare for everybody involved. This is amateur hour at best. At least we know why HomeKit was dropped from the WWDC keynote... it's a confusing pile of crap that (technically) doesn't work yet, and even Apple developers don't know where the technology is going. Pathetic. GET IT TOGETHER, APPLE!

   
• Preach? Holy crap... who listens to these people?

Hobbes at Tampa Airport

no. don't do it. stop.

   
• And Speaking of Urine Stains... 93.7% of men pee like this...

So now you know.

   

Now I'm off to enjoy what's left of my Sunday... by going to work.

   

Bullet Sunday 439

Posted on Monday, June 29th, 2015

Dave!No, your calendar doesn't deceive you... because Bullet Sunday on Monday starts... now...

   
• Heat! On top of the fires that have been raging here in Central Washington, we've got this crazy heat wave assaulting us like a blast furnace. The outdoors are practically inhospitable at 110°, but at least this bear has found a way to beat the heat...

That's one happy bear.

   
• Beard! As I am not swimming in a box of women, clearly my beard is entirely inadequate. But a solution is at hand...

Of course, compared to this guy, ALL BEARDS ARE INADEQUATE, even with god-like beard oil in them, so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad.

   
• Station Agent! A moment of silence for Tama-chan...

Tama the Cat
Photo by Toru Yamanaka/AFP/Getty Images

One of many feel-good cat stories... you will be missed, Tama!

   
• CANADA! "UGH! GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL NOW? I'M MOVING TO CANADA!" — If that's you, there's probably something you should know...

   
• WAAAH!!! And, speaking of sour grapes... Mike Huckabee Set the Bar Really High for the Worst Reaction to the Same-Sex Marriage Ruling. What an asshole.

   
• Travel! I updated my travel map and was happy to learn that I've finally reached my goal of seeing 25% of the countries on this planet...

At one time I thought I'd strive for 50%, but it took over half my life just to get this far. so unless somebody has a couple million dollars for me so I can quit work and travel the world... I guess this will have to do.

   
And... back to this unrelenting heat wave...

   

Bullet Sunday 440

Posted on Sunday, July 5th, 2015

Dave!Playtime is over and it's time to get down to business, because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Victory! Congratulations to Carli Lloyd and the US Women's National Soccer Team in winning the World Cup! And yet... there's another victory left to be won...

World Cup Sexist Pay Gap

You're looking at that correctly. The US Men's Team got paid 8 million dollars for getting knocked out of the tournament in the first round... whereas the Women's Team got 2 million for winning the whole enchilada. Now, look, I get it... women's sports don't attract the viewership or ad revenue that the men's sports get. The money isn't going to be as huge as the 35 million dollars Germany got for winning the Men's Cup. It's unfortunate, but that's the sexist world we live in right now. Except... WTF?!?? Being paid 400% more money TO LOSE isn't just a wage gap... it's absolute bat-shit crazy. And that's not even the worst of it. The Women's World Cup was made to be played on artificial turf, which is far hotter and more prone to injuries. The Men's World Cup, of course, plays on natural grass. FIFA, the disgustingly corrupt pile of shit that governs football (soccer) world-wide makes billions of dollars, but can't be bothered to spend a trivial amount of their massive wealth to ensure the safety of their female players? Seriously, Fuck FIFA. The whole organization needs to be completely gutted for this kind of insane bullshit... among other things...

A grotesque organization indeed. I have no clue what it's going to take to get FIFA overhauled, but it needs to happen sooner rather than later.

   
• Extinction! Kill them. Kill them all. Kill them all until poachers are an endangered species. Kill the all until poaching is extinct. And I'm saying that from a place of non-violence and love.

   
• Denali! Ayers Rock is actually Uluru. Victoria Falls is actually Mosi-oa-Tunya. Turns out many famous geological formations that already had names given them by the indigenous people living there were renamed by the people who "discovered" them. Errrr... rediscovered them. Add Mt. McKinley to the list...

Kind of ridiculous, really.

   
• Vaccinate! Meanwhile, in my neck of the woods... In Clallam County, Washington, a woman has died of complications from measles. This is the first U.S. death from measles since 2003.

Jenny Stupid Fucking McCarthy

Another preventable death on the books.

   
• Anchor! While cleaning out some junk, I ran across the first hard drive I ever owned... a massive boat-anchor of a drive that weighs a ton and clocks in at a whopping 10 GB... 8 GB of which is usable space... spread across two jumbo drives...

Ancient Hard Drive

I wonder what's on it? Going to have to figure out how to take a look one of these days.

   
• Owl and the Pussycat! Probably the cutest thing you've seen all week...

Owl and Kitten Pals

Awwwwww!

   
Annnnnd... I'm spent. No more bullets for you!

   

Bullet Sunday 441

Posted on Sunday, July 12th, 2015

Dave!Don't mind this missing blog post, because Bullet Sunday starts... now...


Five Bullets

   
Happy now?

   

Bullet Sunday 443

Posted on Sunday, July 26th, 2015

Dave!And... I have no internet. And... I'll be traveling for a week. So this very special HEAVILY DELAYED edition of Bullet Sunday starts... eventually...

   
• Sisko! I have been totally addicted to the feral rescue project from TinyKittens.com. They've taken in a young feral kitteh named Sisko whom is very, very pregnant. Feral kittehs are a particular challenge in that they have no trust in humans whatsoever and have to be handled delicately. When they're pregnant, it's doubly so. You can drop by and watch her live here. Or relive past videos like this one...

Not a very comfortable-looking momma, that's for sure.

   
• Asshole! Just in case you need lessons...

I meet at least a half-dozen professional asshole drivers every day!

   
• Biblical! A very interesting look at "Your Deeply Held Religious Beliefs."

   
• Electra Woman! This is really happening...

Flawless casting.

   
• Pointless. Can I be honest with you? When celebrities completely miss the point on something and go all sanctimonious with their bullshit, it drives me crazy...

Harry Connick Jr. Doesn't Get It

Harry Connick Jr. Doesn't Get It

Harry Connick Jr. Doesn't Get It

Harry Connick Jr. Doesn't Get It

Harry Connick Jr. Doesn't Get It

Harry Connick Jr. Doesn't Get It

Listen, Harry Connick Jr., that's not what people are saying at all. When somebody says "better get a shotgun" because your daughter is of dating age... this has absolutely nothing to do with your daughter, her self-esteem, or her judgement. It has everything to do with the fact that horny teenage boys are going to be busting down your door trying to plan and scheme to date your daughter... or, more likely, have sex with your daughter. Your misunderstanding here is that only guys "of a certain caliber" are going to be attracted to her when, in fact, every heterosexual boy on earth is going to be attracted to her. Especially in today's highly-sexualized society. The metaphorical shotgun is so that you can fend off the bastards so your daughter has the opportunity to attract the guys of the caliber she deserves. So climb off your high horse and calm down before your inane rant makes you look like an idiot or something.

   
And, I'm out. Here's hoping this gets posted before next Bullet Sunday comes around...

   

Bullet Sunday 444

Posted on Sunday, August 2nd, 2015

Dave!The final month of summer beings as another edition of Bullet Sunday starts... eventually...

   
• Sisko! The little feral kitten, Sisko, that I mentioned last week is till very very pregnant and... much to my surprise... hasn't had her babies yet. The poor thing looks even more confused, scared, and otherwise uncomfortable than last week, which is really saying something...

The Planet Pluto

The Planet Pluto

Hoping that she pops soon...

   
• 2oolander! At last... at long last... MUGATU SHALL HAVE HIS REVENGE!

At least I'm assuming as much since Will Ferrell is listed in the credits.

   
• Hippo! The San Diego Zoo has posted baby hippo photos to their Facebook page...

San Diego Zoo Hippo

San Diego Zoo Hippo

All baby animals are adorable. They just can't help it.

   
• Busters! When Kate McKinnon first appeared on SNL, I was not a fan. But I've slowly warmed up to her, and now fully expect her to be the standout in Ghostbusters. All the set pics have her looking more Egon than Egon...

SNew Ghostbusters

As a remake of one of my favorite movies ever, I sure hope they manage to do the original justice.

   
• Honesty! It IS the best policy, after all...

   
No times for more bullets, Mr. Jones.

   

Bullet Sunday 447

Posted on Sunday, August 23rd, 2015

Dave!Don't touch that back button... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Fighter. Before we get started... a huge thank you to the firefighters battling the very serious wildfires that have been plaguing us here in Central Washington State. The most serious being the Okanogan Complex fire, which is now the largest ever in state history (maps courtesy of the NIFC)...

Okanogan Complex Fire Map

Most of the smoke plaguing the valley where I live is from the Chelan fire, which is threatening a lot of people...

Chelan Fire Map

Three firefighters have already lost their lives. Hopefully these horrific fires will be contained before more lives are lost.

   
• Catastrophe! If you have Amazon Prime and don't mind a little adult-oriented humor, Catastrophe had me laughing all six episodes. When an American working in London accidentally gets an Irish woman pregnant, both their lives are turned up-side down...

Catastrophe Still

The show's page is right here on Amazon.

   
• Naptime! Could the solution really be this easy?

Damn. Banned in Washington State!

   
• Noiseless? I've been a huge fan of the Imagenomic app called "Noiseware" which does a pretty darn good job of removing noise from photos. Now there's a new game in town... Macphun's "Noiseless"...

It seems to get me great results with little hassle. I don't know that it can completely replace Noiseware, but I'm sure glad to have it in my Photoshop toolbox. Here's an old photo of me, BEFORE and AFTER at 200%...

Noiseless Demo

Noiseless Demo

Yeah, it looks a little soft... but at 100% it's actually useable. Here's another...

Noiseless Demo

Noiseless Demo

Night shots don't fare quite as well as photos that have enough light... you get some clumping in solid areas... but still, pretty nice work for a one-click fix.

HELPFUL HINT: If you want to save 20% on Noiseless Pro, just put the app in your cart then abandon it. Eventually you'll get an email with a 20% off code. I got one... AFTER PURCHASING THE PROGRAM... which is kind of shitty, but my loss is your gain.

   
• In-App. Looks like I'm not the only one pissed off by all these apps having stupid-ass "in-app purchases"... Apple has been running ads featuring games with NO in-app purchase...

NO IN-APP PURCHASES!

NO IN-APP PURCHASES!

I wish there was a way to turn off apps with in-app purchase so they don't even appear in the iTunes Store. I never download them.

   
• Freedom. If I ever have the opportunity to kick the ever-loving shit out of Donald Trump, please look at it NOT as a heinous act of violence, but as me making America great again.

   
And... it's too hot for more bullets. BS out!

   

Bullet Sunday 448

Posted on Sunday, August 30th, 2015

Dave!Don't play with matches... because a smokey edition Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Horror! I was very sad to learn that famed "Horror Maestro," Wes Craven, passed away. While he was most famous for his Nightmare on Elm Street and Scream series of films, I'll forever think of him as the director of Vampire in Brooklyn. This "so bad it's good" movie was supposed to be a comedy-horror film, but came up a bit short in both departments. Even so, I've watched it a half-dozen times because my love of all things Eddie Murphy has no shame. Well, that... and ANGELA BASSETT...

Vampire in Brooklyn Poster

Rest in peace sir. Yours is a legacy that shall haunt the night for a very long time.

   
• Denali. At long last, North America's tallest mountain, Denali, has its name back. I'm sure President McKinley of Ohio was a great guy and everything, but it's categorically stupid that an entire mountain which he never visited and had nothing to do with him or his legacy could be renamed without permission from the native people living there. This goes for a lot of lands and landmarks around the world similarly appropriated, so it's kind of nice to see the right thing happen every once in a while. Despite objections, of course. As noted in Wikipedia: Ohio Congressman Mike Turner vowed to fight the change, commenting that "I’m certain [Obama] didn’t notify President McKinley’s descendants, who find this outrageous." Which, so far as statements go, is even more outrageous given that McKinley's two daughters died as children, thus leaving McKinley with no descendants to notify. Just another piece of shit lying politician trying to manipulate people with bullshit. What a fucking surprise.

   
• NEVER GIVE UP!. I cannot decide if this is good news or bad news.

   
• BETTY! This, on the other hand, is great news. Even if I'll have to watch the horrendously shitty show Bones to see it happen.

   
• Soap. Nurse Kathy is high again!

You're welcome!

   
• Hypocrisy. For the handful of county clerks saying "I'D RATHER DIE THAN ISSUE A MARRIAGE LICENSE FOR GAY COUPLES"... you're not the heroes you think you are. You regularly grant licenses for divorced couples, atheist couples, and a myriad of other couples who are getting married against "Biblical principal," so you are, in fact, just a bunch of pathetic hypocrites and certified assholes refusing to do the work your job requires. If marriage equality is SO offensive that you can't bring yourself to do what you're paid to do... then quit and find something that won't go against your hypocrisy.

Or just fuck off and kill yourself so you can be the martyr you profess to be. Except I think we all know that, in reality, it's more likely you're just being an attention-whore drama queen whose words are as hollow as your true convictions. Or whatever. I dunno. Feel free to prove me wrong.

Whichever. Totally up to you. Just so long as I don't have to see your "religious liberty" bullshit hypocrisy being applied to a government job that's supposed to be independent of your faith. Something you knew when you signed up.

   
And... I can't see to post any more bullets because the air has gotten too smokey.

   

Bullet Sunday 449

Posted on Sunday, September 6th, 2015

Dave!Don't get all worked up...

...because a pre-holiday edition Bullet Sunday starts... now...


• Universal! Nice! Somebody truly deserving of being crowned Mrs. Universe...

Really? People think I'm too political for my first day as Mrs Universe. Did you really think I was going to just sit there and look pretty? Definitely not. I have a title, a platform and a voice to make change and bring awareness to First Nations issues here in Canada. I'm getting all this media attention and I'm going to use it to the best of my ability. I'm not your typical beauty queen. Look out... I have a voice for change and I'm going to use it!

Posted by Ashley Callingbull on Monday, August 31, 2015

   
• Horror! Do as I say, not as I do...

Unless "American" is a bastardized version of "English" where you get to use words improperly, make up your own words, ignore rules of grammar and sanity, and be incomprehensible when speaking. In that case, carry on...

   
• Trash! I wonder if idiots like Kim Davis have any familiarity with historical perspective. I'm guessing not. Because while she THINKS she is going to be looked upon as some kind of "religious liberty crusader" for refusing to follow the law and do her job... she is, in fact, going to be labeled a heinous bigot and massive hypocrite by future generations...

Taco Bell Receipts

What's hilarious is that people defending this piece of shit keep bringing up that all her divorces and adultery happened before she became a Christian, thus are invalid. That's some serious bullshit. In all honesty, I don't care how many times people want to get married... do it until you get it right. But don't deny happiness to others when your past gave you every opportunity to find your happiness. That just makes you a fucking douchebag...

Kim Davis is Trash

But Kim Davis was well on the path to douchebaggery when her dumbass lawyer compared being jailed for not doing your job to being a Jew in Nazi Germany.

   
• Jail? I, for one, welcome our new gay overlords...

Talk about historical perspective... this asshole has it coming in spades. Assuming anybody even cares. He'll be dead soon, and is probably best left forgotten. Even if it does sacrifice some entertainment value.

   
• Fair! Well slap my ass and call me Sally... Taco Bell didn't charge me the usual 50¢ to substitute rice for beef on my Chalupa! Thanks for finally stepping up and doing the right thing, Taco Bell!

Taco Bell Receipts

Hopefully the new "Sub Rice for Beef" button is not just at my local Taco Time, but Nation-wide. It's been a long time coming.

   
• Drums! Questlove vs. Justin Bieber on the drums?!? So great...

Respect to Bieber for even attempting something like this. Even if I were a really good drummer, I'd be scared to face off against Quest, who is god-like with his talent!

   
And... no more bullets for you. Tomorrow's a National Holiday so of course I have to get ready for work...

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Bullet Sunday 450

Posted on Sunday, September 13th, 2015

Dave!Get ready to bask in the City of Roses... because a Bullet Sunday from Portland, Oregon starts... now...

• PDX! How many airports do you know that have carpeting so famous that they have a Wikipedia page devoted to it? I have no idea. But if there's a list, Portland International (PDX) would be on it (seriously, here's the Wikipedia page). For years now, you can always count on seeing people photographing themselves standing on it. Like me today...

PDX Carpet Feet

The pattern apparently represents the intersection of PDX runway lights as seen at night or something. In any event, it's a beautiful design and everybody seems to love it. Which is why the Port of Portland decided to replace it with a new design rather than a reprint of the old design?...

PDX Carpet Feet

It's a nice enough pattern, I guess, but I don't understand why they didn't replace the worn out carpet with the same design, which didn't really need updating. Especially given how popular it is. A very sad day for PDX fans...

PDX Carpet Feet

Including me. The next time I fly into Portland, all remnants of the classic PDX carpeting will be gone.

• Hooking! Is it just me, or does this advertisement from Alaska Airlines' inflight magazine look like some guy just hired a very expensive hooker?

Hookers be Hooking

Turns out it's an ad for a casino, but wow...

Hookers be Hooking

Enjoy your hooker victory, sir.

• Congrats! The reason I flew to Portland today was so I could see two of my long-time blogging friends, Oh Sarah Joy and Iron Fist get married...

Wedding on a Boat!

Congrats to Sarah and Vahid!

• To Go! And speaking of weddings... this is not a real ad for Tide To-Go Pens, but it should be because it's really clever...

The ad may be fake, but that's the real Miss Yvonne from Pee-Wee's Playhouse!

• SuBullets!

   
And... my flight will be taking me back home any minute now, so no more bullets for you...

PDX Sunset!

   

Bullet Sunday 452

Posted on Sunday, September 27th, 2015

Dave!THE END OF THE WORLD IS UPON US, because a blood-soaked super-moon edition of Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Blood! As usual when anything cool is happening in the heavens, Redneckistan is having none of it. Apparently we've still got fires raging, because tonight's Super Blood Moon Eclipse was obscured as it crested the horizon. It wasn't until it climbed out of the haze that the moon was sharp enough to photograph. Unfortunately, the eclipse was retreating by then...

SUPER BLOOD MOON ECLIPSE!

SUPER BLOOD MOON ECLIPSE!

It was pretty tough to photograph because the exposed moon is so bright... but oh well. Better than nothing, I guess.

   
• Pope! My favorite Pope was John Paul II (whom I actually got to see... kinda... back in 2000)... but this new Pope is growing on me. His address to Congress was terrific, yes... but this is the story of his visit I like best.

   
• Jafar! So good...

   
• Fuckabee! Anybody thinking that Donald Trump is the biggest fucking douche to ever run for president is not paying attention. It would be fantastic if, after losing his bid for the presidency, we would never hear from fucking Mike Huckabee ever again... but assholes this big never truly go away, do they?

   
• Jimpire! If you are a fan of Empire, then this parody by Jimmy Fallon and Company is a must-see...

Higgy... Higgy... stop!

   
• Biker! And, before we go, a story to warm your heart...

Biker Cat
Photo from Pat Doody

   
Annnnd... no more super-moon for you!

   

Bullet Sunday 453

Posted on Sunday, October 4th, 2015

Dave!The weekend may be ending, but the fun is just beginning because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Bond? Oh Lord. Worst. Bond. Theme. Ever. Seriously... who saddles James Bond with this whiny shit? I cannot believe that the same director who used Adele's amazingly powerful masterpiece Skyfall in his previous film would follow it up with this crap... AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE ADELE!

My expectations are running very high for Spectre, but listening to this mind-numbing drivel has me seriously questioning why. Hell, if Mendes wanted a song called Writing's On The Wall for his movie, I'm sure OK Go would have been happy to re-work their vastly superior song...

Ugh. Just ugh.

   
• JELL-O! Leave it to The Slo-Mo Guys to crank out yet another entertaining video...

Everything really IS better in slo-mo!

   
• Restless. Absolutely gutted that Catherine Coulson, "The Log Lady," has passed away just as they were finally getting around to filming new Twin Peaks...

Log Lady

She has one of my favorite character introductions of all time...

You will be so very missed in the upcoming Twin Peaks revival. Rest in peace, ma'am, the owls are quiet at last.

   
• Water! Liquid love on Mars? Thompson Twins called it...

But can you drink it?

   
• Derp! Pretty much...

It burrrrrrns.

   
• Family! This photo of a father making sure his daughter's step-father was a part of her wedding was the best thing I saw all week...

Fathers
© 2015 Delia D Blackburn Photography, and thanks for sharing such a fantastic moment.

The story here is just great, and proves that people don't have to be horrible to each other all the time. If you want to see an interview with the fathers in question, here's your link.

   
Until next week... buh bye.

   

Bullet Sunday 454

Posted on Sunday, October 11th, 2015

Dave!No time to lose, because a rapid-fire edition of Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Puppy. The best thing I've seen all week...

"Roo the one-year-old rescued Golden Retriever who never had any toys, or so much as anything to chew, grew up imprisoned, starved and neglected. This is the first time she gets to choose her own toy at a pet shop."

   
• Assemble! Marvel superheroes may be absent from the LEGO Dimensions game... but that doesn't mean you won't be able to play something new with them...

So can't wait for this!

   
• BANNED! Microbeads are insanely stupid. I can't fathom who ever thought this crap was a good idea. Hopefully other states will follow California's lead in banning this toxic crap. In other California banning news... looks like SeaWorld San Diego will be closing down sooner rather than later. Can't imagine them surviving without their Killer attraction.

   
• Ad? After complaining about obstructive ads on the internet yesterday, I'm going to take a half-step back today. Because more and more I'm finding ads I actually like. Earlier this week I found one for gum that was pretty sweet. Yes, gum...

It's as if advertisers are finally realizing that we don't want to watch shitty commercials that suck!

   
• Morans. And speaking of ads I like, the inevitability of One Million Morons being bigoted assholes and condemning one of the best ads ever has come to pass. Not that anybody gives a fuck. "One Million Moms" (who are off target by 919,482 mothers) is about as effective at boycotts as a piece of shit is at not stinking. All they do is remind everybody that there are pathetic homophobes out there clutching their pearls and getting the vapors over something THAT DOESN'T EVEN AFFECT THEM. So yes. Let's save the children of the world... by protecting them from loving, stable homes.

   
• Poop! I'm not saying this product will change your life... but this product will change your life*...

*At least that part of your life spent pooping.

   
And... I'm bullet-poor. The end.

   

Bullet Sunday 456

Posted on Sunday, October 25th, 2015

Dave!Don't worry... blogging isn't as dead as they say, because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Jones. I do not have the vocabulary to adequately express how much I'm looking forward to Marvel's Jessica Jones on Netflix this November 20th...

If it's even half as good as Davedevil was, I'll be ecstatic. Krysten Ritter and Mike Colter (as LUKE CAGE!) look to be knocking it out of the park.

   
• Outrageous. And so it turns out the shitty Jem and the Holograms movie adaptation is, in fact, shitty. Which was foretold by many, many people after watching the trailer...

IT'S NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE! RESPECT THE DAMN SOURCE MATERIAL OR FAIL!

   
• FAKE! Nothing like getting excited over a ton of five-star reviews on an item you're needing from Amazon... only to find out that every last one of them were from people who either got it for free or received a discount for their "honest and unbiased" review. Well screw that. Your "honest and unbiased" review is overwhelmingly positive because THAT'S how you get chosen to get free stuff for reviews! They're not going to choose people who are critical of the things they write about to review their product. I absolutely loathe this shit.

   
• Dull. Seems almost eerily accurate...

Dell. The pink slime filler of computer companies.

   
• Comeuppance. Oh. How sad for the price gouging little fucker.

   
• Force! This has got to be the single best video game commercials ever made...

The magic of video gaming is that it has the ability to put you in a fictional universe made real. Many video games have been advertising along these lines... this is the first one to absolutely nail it.

   
And I'm off. In the meanwhile, here's probably the cutest thing you've seen all week.

   

Bullet Sunday 457

Posted on Sunday, November 1st, 2015

Dave!No need to put on pants, because a PANTS-FREE Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Angel. If you skip past everything else on this page... if you read just one of my links this Bullet Sunday... the story of Ruth Coker Burks should be it...

Ruth Coker Burks
Photo by Brian Chilson & The Arkansas Times

What an amazing, amazing human being.

   
• Vegetarian? IT'S PEOPLE! VEGGIE DOGS ARE PEOPLE! DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS PEOPLE!

Dueling Veggie Chicago Hot Dogs!

Last Puka Dog

Pink's Veggie Dogs

Guess I like people after all!

   
• Sexual Chocolate! And speaking of hot dogs... Chicago's famous Wiener's Circle restaurant dressed up as Coming To America's "McDowell's" for Halloween!

Ruth Coker Burks
Photo by Mina Bloom

Epic. And now I've got to see that movie again.

If you haven't heard of Weiner's Circle before, they're famous for char dogs and the abusive staff...

Intrigued? A visit to their fan site is in order... which is probably safer than visiting in person.

   
• Chew! And now you know why I hate gum-smacking whores, cereal commercials, and any other time somebody CAN'T EAT AT A RESPECTABLE DECIBEL LEVEL! It's because I'm a frickin' genius!

   
• Yay? The World's Largest Fast-Food Chain Is Going Antibiotic-Free—and Not Just for Chicken? Way to go Subway! Almost makes up for the fact that you KNEW Jared Fogle was a child-raping psychopath yet did NOTHING because he sold a lot of your shitty sandwiches. Oh... wait a second... no it doesn't. You're a horrendous company and I will never buy another one of your fucking sandwiches ever again. I don't care if they're made of rainbows and you're give them away.

   
And now for something entirely different... I bid you adieu!

   

Bullet Sunday 458

Posted on Sunday, November 8th, 2015

Dave!Time to lock and load, because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Crazy. Michele Bachmann Wants To Convert Jews to Christianity ASAP.

Because of course she does.

BachmannAngel.jpg

First Michele Bachmann came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Jew.
Then Michele Bachmann came for the Muslims, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Muslim.
Then Michele Bachmann came for the Hindus, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Hindu.
Then Michele Bachmann came for me— and there was no one left to speak for me.

   
• Bond. The cutest thing you've seen all week!

Oh how I hope that Daniel Craig has a change of heart and gives us another Bond film.

   
• Latter. "For God so loved (some of) the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him (gays and children of gays excepted) should not perish, but have everlasting life (or not)." — You'd think a group that once fled persecution would be more accepting, yet here we are.

   
• Serious? Is there anything Aziz Ansari can't do?

Taste the fat, indeed.

   
• Horrific. Woman attacked diner at Applebee's for speaking a foreign language. — What a piece of shit. What a vile, worthless, disgusting, pile of shit! I sincerely hope this ignorant asshole gets put in prison for a long, long, time. This kind of absurd xenophobia is what happens when you have assholes like Donald Trump painting foreigners as bad people.

   
• Televised. Tonight's episode of Limitless just pushed the series to my favorite show on television. The Ferris Bueller parody was unexpected but flawlessly implemented.

Limtless Cast

Love. This. Show. If you're not watching it, you probably should be.

   
And... that's it for bullets today.

   

Bullet Sunday 459

Posted on Sunday, November 15th, 2015

Dave!Drop it like it's hot, because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Aziz. One of my favorite comedians to come along in ages is Aziz Ansari. If you aren't watching his new show Master of None on Netflix, you are totally missing out. Recently Aziz was interviewed by The New York Times and it is well worth a read.

   
• Pencil?
Apple iPad Pro available in a few days.
Apple Pencil for iPad Pro available in 3 to 4 weeks.
Return Period for iPad is 2 weeks.
Huh.
Guess I'm waiting 3 to 4 weeks to order my iPad Pro, since the only reason I want one is for the Pencil... and making sure I like the pencil is the only reason I'm actually getting one.

   
• Review. A nice look at the latest issue of Thrice Fiction by New Pages is right here!

Thrice Fiction No. 14

A lot of hard work goes into every issue, and it's always nice when we're appreciated for it. If you want to take a look at everybody's favorite fiction magazine for FREE, here's your link!

   
• Interrupted. This Vine of a man telling a woman to put down her book during a Trump ralley is the best thing I've seen all week...

She is having none of it! Interesting to note that the book she's reading is Claudia Rankine's Citizen, which could be said to be addressing just this kind of thing!

   
• Jessica This looks epic... and very faithful to the comic book. If Jessica Jones is even half as good as Daredevil, we're in for a treat...

One. More. Week.

   
And now is the time on Blogography where we dance!

   

Bullet Sunday 451

Posted on Sunday, November 29th, 2015

Dave!Get your travel on, because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• United? My chosen airline, Alaska Air, can't get me to Portland, Maine. Usually, this is not a problem... I just fly into Boston and spend an hour-and-a-half driving up. But winters in New England can be unpredictably harsh, and I wanted to get as close as I could to my destination. Delta's total flying time was absurdly long and the cost insanely high. United was much more reasonable on both counts, so I decided to go that route... despite having no status with the airline. It was a huge mistake. I haven't been this miserable flying in a long time. And they lost my luggage.

   
• Seated. The only GOOD thing to happen this flight? There was an empty spot next door, so my OREOs had a seat all their own...

OREOS ON A PLANE!

Better than getting crushed in a seat-back pocket, that's for sure.

   
• Rent. Still don't understand how rental car companies think that giving you any car other than the one you reserved is "an upgrade." It's not. If the car you receive is a completely different size, that's a DOWNgrade. And I don't care if you're not charging me for it... this is still not the car I was expecting.

   
• Hotel. My favorite lodging chain, hands-down, is W hotels. Amazing properties that are usually out of reach for my budget... but an amazing surprise when I can swing it. If I can't get into the W, I look for another Starwood property I like... Aloft hotels. They're sorta like a budget version of W, and always nice. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of them around. Which means I'm usually compromising. My favorite compromises of the moment? Hilton Garden Inn and Hampton Inn. I've been pleasantly surprised by both chains, and started patronizing them faithfully after "regular" Hiltons took a massive price hike. Right now I'm in the Hilton Garden Inn Portland Jetport, and will be moving to another Garden Inn tomorrow when I reach Auburn. After that, I'm not sure where I'll be... but I am pretty sure of what hotel I'll be staying in. When you travel a lot, that kind of consistency is gold.

   
• Water. Okay... it's gold most of the time. Perhaps not tonight. The first thing I do after I've tossed my luggage in the shower is to remove my shoes (helpful hint: tossing your luggage on a bed is a potential bedbug hazard that's best avoided). Unfortunately, I didn't notice that the refrigerator was leaking a huge pool of water on the floor, and walked into it with my one pair of socks. Since I have no idea when I'll see my luggage, I'm now stuck with wet socks that have been streaked with brown goo. Good times. Good times.

   
• Lost. And since I don't have any idea when I'll be getting my bag, tomorrow morning I'll have to rearrange my schedule and head to... THE MALL... =shudder=. Fortunately The Maine Mall has an Eddie Bauer... the only place I seem to be able to consistently find Tall Sizes off the rack. Their clothes are constructed okay, but the styles they have seem to have taken a nose-dive in the past couple years. Hopefully I can find something I'm happy with, because I really don't need any more unhappiness coming my way this trip.

   
And... back to Maine... and sleep.

   

Bullet Sunday 452

Posted on Sunday, December 6th, 2015

Dave!The holidays must be near, because the gift of Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• AVOID! I'd like to begin this entry with "Screw United Airlines," easily the worst airline going. They bring nothing but misery, and just don't give a fuck. I'd rather eat a piece of shit encrusted with pubic hair than to ever give United Airlines one cent of my money.

   
• Ware. Chris Ware is one of my favorite living artists. His work provides insight into the human condition in a way few people can match. This is his latest...

Chris Ware New Yorker Cover

As if that wasn't gift enough, a "behind the scenes" exploration of the cover has been ANIMATED over at the New York Times website. Absolutely worth a watch. Click here immediately to experience it.

   
• Rescue. Speaking of cats... essential viewing...

Catfishing! Amazing that somebody probably abandoned the poor things out there.

   
• SvB. Oh gawd. The Superman vs. Batman film looks even worse than I imagined. Even worse than the pile of shit that was Man of Steel. How could DC have fucked this up so bad? Oh... Zack Snyder... that's right. Let's overdramatize the shit out of even the most mundane moments. People love that. Barf...

This makes Superman IV: Quest for Peace look like total genius... because at least that turd had Gene Hackman in it. Jesse Eisenberg's "Lex Luthor" is a fucking embarrassment. I can't help but wonder if this movie fucking tanks... as it rightfully should... what happens to the DC cinematic universe? Hopefully it gets flushed down the toilet so somebody who gives a shit about the comics can start over.

   
• Regerts. A kitten who regretted his life choice...

Does it GET cuter than this?

   
• Diamonds. Dayamn! No pressure...

Marry Me Sounds So Much Better than Merry Christmas

And also... WAR AGAINST CHRISTMAS!!!

   
I'm spent. No more bullets for you.

   

Bullet Sunday 453

Posted on Sunday, December 13th, 2015

Dave!The weather outside may be frightful but everything's still delightful, because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• SUCK! Oh gawd. So this is where stupid goes to die.

   
• DESTROY! This is... uhhh... interesting?

Now THAT'S some LEGO!

   
• JUST NO! Buddha is not a god! He never claimed to be a god! He never claimed to be a son of god! He never even claimed to be a messenger from any god! He was a human being, and no Buddhist worships him as a god... they revere and respect him as a teacher. And yet here we are. Again.

Only Yours is Right

The interesting bit here is that the original painting is a nice idea. It's when some joker slaps stupid text over it that makes no sense whatsoever that it becomes a discredit to reason.

   
• MORON! Fox News Host: Obama ‘Could Give A Shit’ About The Threat Of Terrorism

First of all, it's "COULDN'T CARE LESS," you vapid joke. Holy crap is Stacey Dash a fucking idiot. She says exactly what she thinks her equally dim fan base wants to hear. And since dumbasses like this won't be happy until we nuke the entire Middle East, OF COURSE she's going to be disappointed in President Obama's speech. There is not a damn thing he could ever say to make anybody at FOX "News" happy. With the exception of "I resign," I'm guessing.

Who could have guessed that the character Stacey Dash played on Clueless would actually be smarter than she is in Real Life.

   
• BAD! I wish I could credit this awesome photo... but I have no idea who took it. Makes me laugh every time I see it...

Wasn't Me!

"Wasn't me!"

   

We now return you to our regularly-scheduled blogging.

   

Bullet Sunday 454

Posted on Monday, December 21st, 2015

Dave!Thanks to Home Automation Week, Bullet Sunday is on Monday and starts... now...

   
• The 1975! Definitely a highlight of my week... if not a highlight of my entire year... was flying to San Francisco so I could see The 1975 in concert with Jester. This has quickly become one of my very favorite bands, and their live show did not disappoint. Not only did they play tracks from their flawless debut album, there was plenty of amazing new stuff off their forthcoming one. Like my favorite song of the night, Change of Heart...

I was very surprised by how fantastic their stage set was. It's dead simple... consisting of a large video screen and four video columns... but it's what they DO with it that made the show so spectacular. If you have a chance to see them in concert (which might be tough... they're selling out everywhere) by all means give them a shot.

   
• Elephant Walk! When I was on vacation in Africa last year, my first stop on safari was at Ruckomechi camp in Zimbabwe. It's a beautiful reserve in a region known as "Mana Pools" and is billed as "The Elephant's Favourite Camp" because elephants are roaming around everywhere. They were always around, and you are constantly running across them throughout your time at camp... I even found an elephant in my shower once. For the most part, if you leave the elephants alone, they leave you alone. Just don't approach them. And absolutely do NOT get near a baby elephant unless you want a momma elephant getting annoyed with you. I loved having the elephants around, and never once had any problems with them. Which is why I was surprised to see this viral video going around of an elephant attack that was most definitely shot at Ruckomechi camp. I ate at that very table...

While this incident is alarming, it also has to be exceedingly rare, because thousands of guests (including me) have been through Ruckomechi Camp without incident. Hopefully this won't dissuade people from visiting, because it is easily one of the most amazing experiences of my entire life.

   
• Star Wars! I have no intention of seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens while the hype is still running high. While I love Star Wars, that's greatly overshadowed by my hatred of people at the movies now-a-days. Used to be you only had to worry about people talking during the film. Now you've got mobile phones, which has made things even worse. I'm doing my best to avoid spoilers for The Force Awakens, but am still getting excited by the build-up to the movie. And this video by Jimmy Fallon with The Roots and stars of Star Wars is pretty awesome...

   
• Feeding! Probably one of the funniest things I've seen all year...

Ghost Mom

   
• Kitten! And now, before I go, the most heartwarming thing I've seen all week...

Amazing. I love happy endings like this. Best of luck, Lazarus!

   
Enjoy the rest of your Monday, everybody!

   

Bullet Sunday 455

Posted on Sunday, December 27th, 2015

Dave!Time to put the holidays behind you, because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• COMICS! Ordinarily, today would be filled with my favorite comic books of 2015. But I've drastically reduced the amount of comics I'm reading because I'm just not finding the compelling reads I've found in previous years. The biggest disappointment being that we didn't get more installments of Jupiter's Legacy, whose first volume ended in a massive cliffhanger back in January. I dunno. Maybe I'll find my comic book renaissance in 2016, but I'm just not feeling it this year.

   
• GAH! As if I weren't already excited enough for the upcoming Doctor Strange film...

Doctor Strange on Entertainment Weekly

Less than a year away!

   
• FOOD! Food costs are going through the roof. Even a meager bag of groceries will cost $25 or more. My average trip to the store is running around $75. With this kind of cash involved, you can bet I'm trying to get the most for my money. Which is why I am getting sick and tired of having to throw food in the garbage because the quality is in the shitter. Latest example? I bought a box of Eggo Waffles only to find that once again they're covered in crystal frost. Even when you scrape as much as you can off, they still end up wet in spots. Gross. And a total waste of money. I can only guess that they are partially thawing at some point, then getting re-frozen. But it's not me. I'm seven minutes from the grocery store. From now on, I'm going to start seeing if I can take the shit back for a refund. If not, I'm done shopping there. Or done with the product.

   
• WINTERY! The weather has been pretty shitty this past week, but it made for a beautiful couple days this past week once the sun came back out...

Winter Wonderland

Winter Wonderland

Not bad, Mother Nature, not bad at all.

   
• HOLIDAYS. It's not been a very good holiday season for me. The days from from Thanksgiving right through Christmas has been filled with sadness, loss, and more challenges than I would wish on anyone. With less than a week left in 2015, I'm ready to move on. So... let's wrap up the year with entries looking back at my favorite movies, television shows, and music... followed by a recap of the year here at Blogography, then get on with a fresh start in 2016.

   
And... the bullets have landed.

   

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