To say that I outright loathe HomeShit HomeKit is a massive understatement. Apple has fucked up their "smart home" protocol since Day One.

When the technology debuted it was so woefully incomplete that I ditched it immediately and went with INSTEON. When INSTEON died years later, I decided to give HomeKit another chance because so many people were saying that it was finally a worthwhile way to control your home and devices. Since I was in a hurry, I went all-in on HomeKit and replaced every light switch and "smart device" in my home (at great expense). But I didn't trust Apple entirely because I made sure to buy devices that would be upgradable to the "Matter" protocol so if HomeKit ended up being awful I could just migrate to Matter and control everything another way.

SPOILER ALERT: HOMEKIT is still most definitely HOMESHIT!

HomeKit in 2024 is still a brain-dead pile of shit that is wildly inflexible and doesn't work consistently. Apple has been working on this for TEN YEARS and yet automations suddenly stop working for no reason and devices won't act as expected. Even worse, all you get to work with is the most basic of basic controls...

That's pretty much it. That's all you get. It's fucking embarrassing. Apple has always dumbed their stuff down to the lowest common denominator, but this is just beyond fucking useless if you want to have any kind of smarts in your smart home. What I need is something like this...

I've tried multiple times to do something this bloody simple and it always fails. Ideally I'd be able to use a WHILE statement so I don't have to create a second IF/THEN loop to turn them off, but at this point I'll take anything I can get.

What I'm really looking for is something like this, where the roof heat tapes only turn on if it's been snowing for a while so I don't have to waste energy on a tiny amount of snowfall that will melt quickly...

But do you think basic variables or even a rudimentary timer is available in HomeKit? Oh fuck no.

This is all off the top of my head, and I'm sure once I got into the logic of whatever system I end up with, I'll get smarter on how to best approach the automations I'm looking to create. The point is that stuff like this simply isn't possible with HomeKit.

Enter Homey Pro...

I actually bought one of these devices last year, but ended up returning it because it wasn't able to control the devices I had (mostly because my light switch manufacturer hadn't gotten out the Matter upgrade as promised). Fast-forward to Black Friday 2024 and miracle-of-miracles, my light switch manufacturer has finally released their Matter upgrade!

And so I am once again giving Homey Pro a try.

Today I received the device. Tonight I'll install it. Tomorrow I'll get started on upgrading all my stuff to Matter and seeing if Homey Pro will work for my needs.

And you, lucky reader, get to come alpong for the ride!

Snowy weather may have kept me from working in the yard today, but it didn't keep me from blogging... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Garbage! Remember how I was chuffed to bits that I managed to get everything in my garage put away so I have a dry place to park this Winter? This past Wednesday I realized that I forgot to leave room for my garbage can. In the Spring and Summer months I keep it outside because the heat makes it smell and I don't have to worry about trudging through snow to get to it. But now is when it's far smarter to have it inside, so I had to spend an hour rearranging all my junk so it would fit. WHY, LORD? WHY IS LIFE SO HARD?!?

   
• More Hallmark Than Hallmark! I lost access to Hallmark Channel, so I haven't seen any new movies in a while. Which is a wild adjustment for me to be making considering how I watched every new movie they ever released. But I can still enjoy the parodies, and this couple has some that are better than most...

This one is even more hilarious...

It's funny. But entirely accurate.

   
• XXX! I hate having my time wasted. And an increasing cause of time being wasted are companies adopting technology, then abandoning it without shutting it down. I bought a new Whirlpool oven. There's a Photoregister service where you can take a photo of a code and text it to register your product. But even though my photo is perfectly legible, I get the error "Sorry, we were unable to read that. Please reply with the code on the bottom of the camera icon."

I blurred out the number at the end because I don't know if having my serial number out there causes problems, but you can see how crisp and perfectly clear the number is in the image by the first three numbers

So I scream then enter the code manually, double-check I have it right, AND GET THE SAME FUCKING ERROR. Jesus. How is this useless fucking technology helping your customers? Just give me a fucking QR code for manually registering to begin with.

   
• Buggy Bugs! iPhone: You've Got Mail! Except when I click it tells me I don’t. This happens CONSTANTLY. It has been reported as a bug for years...

And yet Apple, with their billions of dollars, refuses to allot resources to fix it.

   
• Doon Episode Two! The money that HBO must be dumping into Dune: Prophecy is astounding. This series looks better than most movies. Everything from the sets to the costumes to the incredible special effects... it's so very cool that they're making sure the show has the budget it deserves. It's like they can feel that this has the potential to be their next Game of Thrones and they're doing what they can to make it happen. The preview for Episode 03 has me seriously bemoaning that we're only getting six episodes...

I choose to look at it as a very long movie instead of a short season. Here's hoping that they reeeeeally stick the landing on this one so we get a second season.

   
• WELP! Apple's "Apple Intelligence" ad campaign has been about the stupidest thing I've ever seen. It's not a tool to help you be more productive... it's a badly-implemented crutch for people who are lazy morons! This sums it up nicely...

Maybe eventually AI will become something I give a shit about, but from what we've got right now I'm more embarrassed than impressed.

   
• Start with Garbage, End with Garbage! And, speaking of AI, I can't believe that Adobe has their Stock Images defaulting to AI-Generated images being ON by default. If I wanted an AI-generated image, I'd go to a fucking AI-art generating tool. I wouldn't go to a stock art website. God this company has turned into the absolute fucking WORST. I just accidentally bought an AI-generated image because I didn't see the little "AI" tag they don't add until you hover over it. Well, sorry, I don't support that bullshit personally, and I certainly don't tie it to my place of employment where people would rightfully bash them for stealing photos and art. Lord. If you're going to sell this shit, default to it being OFF... and make the damn disclaimer tag be permanent and not turning off and on based on where your mouse is...

This isn't rocket science. Any guesses as to whether or not my excluding AI will stick and be permanent?

   
Back to watching the snow fall on this very snowy day.

Winter is finally here because there was a dusting of snow on the ground when I woke up this morning, but I can't be out rolling around in it... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Betty Gets Stamped! Betty White is getting her own postage stamp in 2025!

I'm happy that they used a photo of her when she was older since that's how most people would recognize her. But they could have done a set of four with Betty through the ages since her career has been so long and varied... just sayin'.

   
• Happy! I want so badly to see Piece By Piece but the price to buy it is still the in-theater price of $25... so I guess I'm waiting a minute. But, come on, doesn't this Pharrell Williams doc look incredible? Genius, really...

If there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that we need more LEGO documentaries like this.

   
• On The Bayou! Walt Disney World's Splash Mountain has been re-themed into Tiana's Bayou Adventure for a while now, and at last Disneyland's has been transformed as well...

As I said when I took a look at Orlando's ride, I think this was a bit of a missed opportunity in that they should have told the story of the film Princess and the Frog, but they didn't. So that means beloved characters like Ray (not to mention one of Disney's best villains, Dr. Facilier) are missing. That's a darn shame.

   
• Bug Reports! I've lost count of the number of times that I've reported a bug to Apple that they never address. Whenever you receive an email with a meeting link and click "ACCEPT" to let the sender know that you'll be there, the message is immediately deleted. And, no, it's not because Apple Mail adds it to your calendar with the meeting link. It's because Apple Mail IS A BRAIN-DEAD PILE OF SHIT AND NOBODY AT APPLE GIVES A FUCK!

It is absolutely abhorrent how Apple never seems to care about people trying to do actual work with their stupid shit. I have been reporting this same bug for fucking years now.

   
• Cheap Danger! You should probably watch this video. It's a sign of what's going to be coming in other industries. Corporations raking in BILLIONS of dollars yet refusing to pay anything to keep workers and customers safe, because there's no repercussions. And now there will be even less, because the next administration has made it very clear that they're going to continue to put corporations over people...

This is going to cost lives. Not even a question.

   
• Justice! NEWSFLASH: American livestreamer indicted in South Korea over offensive antics. Oh noes. I sure hope that nothing happens to him while he's doing time for being one of the worst people on the face of the fucking planet. He's been terrorizing and disrespecting people, places, and important things for what seems like forever. The number of heinous things he's done is so long that I'm shocked he hasn't been banned from all of Asia. Maybe it's forthcoming.

   
And now we return to Winter, already in progress.

Artificial Intelligence created "art" is an abomination for a number of reasons. The biggest of which being that AI gets trained on the works of countless artists who have their works stolen so a computer can mimic what they've created. Without artists, generative AI models couldn't exist.

It's a serious problem because the companies behind generative AI and the people and companies utilizing generative AI are poised to make billions off the technology while the artists who made it possible receive no compensation at all. For this reason, there's been a bit of a backlash when companies use AI "art" for their packaging, advertising, or other materials... but it's not enough of a backlash to stop the trend from trending.

Nope. Generative AI is here to stay.

And now Apple has gotten in on the game with an app called "Image Playground." It's the same type of prompt-driven AI that's been around for a while now, it's just that Apple is attempting to make it easier to use.

And easy it is. You feed Image Playground some parameters that you type or select from suggestions, like so...

And you're presented with a bunch of options that have been generated based on your parameters, such as this one...

Immediately there is a problem in that this looks absolutely nothing like me, despite the fact that I fed it a literal photo of myself. Out of the dozens of friends and family that I put through Apple's generative AI, it usually comes down to the hair. For reasons unknown, Apple is adding tremendous volume and wacky styles that in no way match what was sent to them.

You're always given multiple options, but rarely do the photos of myself look much like me. And, again, it usually comes down to the hair. If they could get the hair drawn better, I think that would be half the battle...

From time to time I get something that kinda-sorta looks like it could be me...

But here's the thing. In all the photos of myself that have been generated, you can't look too close. Because the minute you do, you start to notice some horrific details. Usually with the eyes and teeth...

And once you see it, you go back to look at all the photos that have been generated and everybody looks like serial killers. It's genuinely bizarre, and I'm not really understanding why something so standard as eyes and teeth are so difficult to render.

I did have better luck with photos of my younger self...

Which gets me this...

I can sorta see me in that? It helps to add props...

Even though props are highly problematic. I don't think any of them work as intended. For example, this is me in sunglasses, but AI makes my eyes visible through them, which is freaky as hell...

I put myself in a disco, and suddenly I'm in... suspenders?!?

And when I select "Witches Hat" as an accessory, it's like the AI didn't know what to do, so it put me in a... sombrero?!?

I thought it would be cool to see me as an astronaut, since that's what I wanted to be when I was a kid, but Apple removes the faceplate and has my chin sticking out every time? I don't think that's how spacesuit helmets work...

And it's not just one option... it's 5 out of 6. And sometimes they even give me a cleft in my chin, which is wild...

A lot of times, the variants that you get make it very clear that Apple has run out of ideas as to how to portray a scenario. For example, if I were told to draw somebody as a scientist, I'd be sure to have test tubes and science gear in the shot. But Apple thinks that a lab coat and glasses is all that's needed. Or, as in the first photo, TWO pairs of glasses...

   
Apple has a more specialized version of their Image Playground within their Messages app called "Genmoji" which will generate more simplified versions of stuff. But it's via typing to generate...

I've mainly been concentrating on pictures of me to illustrate the app (at least I can be sure that I own the photo being used as reference!), but you don't have to use photos of people. You can type just about anything.

But with wildly varying results.

When I asked for "A penguin on a polar bear" not a single image generated had the penguin on the polar bear. So I tried again with "A penguin ON TOP OF a polar bear" which gave me multiple options. Only one correct...

Like the last time, the majority of the generated images were just a penguin with a polar bear. And usually the penguin was massively huge like this...

Things get a bit disturbing when the generative AI decided to merge the penguin with the polar bear into a single creature...

But the most disturbing image that I got was a truly gigantic penguin fucking a baby polar bear? I mean, it's definitely on that polar bear, so to speak. Though they are kinda merging at the feet...

So... um... yeah... not quite ready for prime time. There's a lot more work that needs to be done. And though I will likely not use it for anything except being occasionally amused by the results, I can see where this is going to be a very big deal for people who don't want to put the time and effort into creating something themselves having the computer do the work for them.

That's going to do severe harm to a number of different art careers, but artists are getting used to that. They've already had their art stolen a zillion times over to train the AI behemoths that make AI generated images possible in the first place.

I used to take solace in the fact that I'd likely be safely dead by the time AI had fully integrated itself into our lives, but here we are. Mainstream use has not only arrived, but it's progressing so fast that I can't imagine what the future is going to look like.

I just hope it's better than that last penguin on a polar bear image, because yikes.

So... what has been going on in my life while Blogography has been in Walt Disney World for the past 18 days? Glad you asked... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• EIGHTEEN DAYS?! Yeah, with the exception of that Caturday where I put Mickey Mouse ears on my cats and that final Future Backwards entry, all of those posts were (mostly) written on the flight back home from Orlando. But they were five very, very long posts that nobody would want to read. So I chopped them up into shorter posts that nobody would want to read. You're welcome!

   
• AI Apocalypse! WAAAAAAHHH! HA HA HA! Yeah, Eddy Burback is killing it on AI. Must watch video, because it's not just funny but has some great info on the current state of the tech...

I have no objection to AI, in theory, but all too often it's based on outright theft. And if people aren't being compensated for their hard work being scraped to make (bad) AI happen, then AI shouldn't happen!

   
• Fuzzy Feelings! Congratulations to Apple on winning Best Primetime Commercial from the Creative Arts Emmys. This is a spectacular spot that is beautifully shot and executed...

If all ads were this good, I'd actually want to watch ads. Here's a quick behind-the-scenes...

So much of the ads we're inundated with are creatively bankrupt. And it's not about money because I've seen many, many great ads which have been done on the cheap. Many thanks to companies like Apple for continuing to understand that people don't want their TV programs interrupted by shit.

   
• Sacrifice. This is what righteous anger looks like (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

But the people who most need to see this... the people who profess to stand with our military... will never even bother. It's easier to build the narrative you want when truth doesn't factor into the equation.

   
• After the Fall! I'm sad that The Fall Guy movie remake wasn't a huge success, because it's such a fun movie. Would love to get a sequel that probably won't happen. If you want to see it, an extended cut of the film is currently streaming on Peacock TV.

Universal Pictures should make it just to benefit humanity.

   
• Ace! How can you not adore Serena Williams? I love how she was asked how she could not have ever drank a "Honey Deuce" in all the years she’s been at the Open and she’s like “I was playing.” If there’s a GOAT in tennis (maybe even in all sports) she is absolutely it...

I love it when god-like beings are revealed to be just like the rest of us!

   
• small. If you've been following my blog for a while, you know I'm a bit obsessed with tiny homes and small space living. Heck, I even designed a tiny home once! I don't know that I would ever actually choose to live in one unless it was my only option, but I have gotten so many great ideas from watching videos like this absolutely brilliant one right here...

That is one amazing apartment. I could absolutely live in something this beautiful and thoughtful. And speaking of small, check this out...

44 houses in the space originally meant for 9. That's incredible. And good for everybody involved.

   
• YES ITS YOU HI! This cool video is worth your valuable time to watch to the end. Brought a smile to my face after an awful day when I first saw it...

I absolutely love stories like this.

   
And now back to our regularly-scheduled non-Disney content. Probably.

A second entry today as I live-react to the Apple Keynote "Glowtime" which was unleashed this morning (except I had to work so I am reacting after). No worries though... there's still some more Disney entries in the queue to finish out through Friday, but I didn't feel like waiting until next week when this entry is ready to go.

• Apple Watch 10: I’ve been begging for a thinner, lighter Apple Watch since Day One. So the Apple Watch 10 is right up my alley...

Except the blood oxygen tracking has been turned off because of the patent dispute mess Apple is in? I guess? I’d gladly upgrade, but not if this essential features are missing since that's a huge indicator of COVID infection. And also? Your color choices are Black, Silver, and Rose Gold. No Product(RED) color this time around. And look at these shitty, boring Sport Band colors! Holy crap what a morose and boring selection...

No thanks. I'll be sticking with my beautiful Product(RED) watch with the classy Product(RED) band. What a boring-ass design direction Apple is on. I hope this isn't a trend for the rest of the keynote, but I know better.

• Apple Watch Ultra 2: The version in black is gorgeous. And that titanium loop band is incredible. But the massive size of the thing (along with the heinous price) guarantees I’ll never be a customer.

• AirPods 4: I love my AirPods and use them all the time. All it took for me to upgrade from the originals (which I hated because they kept falling out) was the soft cushion cups in variable sizes that you get with the “Pro” model. And here we are again with the slippery hard plastic bullshit. I don’t give a shit how many ears that Apple “scanned” I will never buy any model which doesn’t have interchangeable soft cups to keep them in place.

• AirPods Max: I tried them. They were so fucking heavy and uncomfortable that I stuck with my Beats Pro (which would no longer charge after less than two years). Rather than addressing the comfort problem (and that absurdly stupid purse case), Apple just released new colors and updated the charging port to USB-C? WHAT THE FUCK?!?

• AirPods Pro: Oh boy. Health features. “Hearing Protection” is nice, but it shouldn’t take the place of proper protection, and I’m shocked Apple didn’t mention that AT ALL. — “Hearing Test” is a great idea though. Bravo. Though I have to wonder how accurate it is. Maybe it doesn't have to be, and is just accurate enough to let you know if you should seek help? — “Hearing Aid” is nice for people who need it, sure. But it seems profoundly weird that people would actually use these as hearing aids as shown in the keynote. Better to say that if you are already using your AirPods Pro, the hearing aid feature can help. I am confused if these are actually upgraded hardware... or if it’s just a new feature added to old models, which is what it sounds like? Dang does Apple need to pass these keynotes by a third-party to make sure they are understandable.

• iPhone 16: Everybody knew that "Apple Intelligence" (Apple's version of AI) would be a huge deal for future iPhone models, and here we are. And these non-Pro colors are absolutely gorgeous...

I am wondering for the millionth time why Pro customers don’t get colors like this? — The customizable “Action Button" has been a detriment to my iPhone Pro experience due to its placement. I keep hitting it when I think I’m pressing the volume-up button, because it's been in the top spot since forever. Apple put this button in a shitty fucking spot, and I wish they would have resolved that. But NOPE! Because this is Apple we're talking about. They stuck with that shitty fucking butterfly keyboard on MacBooks even after people complained and it wasn't until they started losing sales that they finally did something about that. — LOL! The new A18 chip name skips over A17 (which was used in the previous 15 Pro models) because marketing is dumb. — The display is still 60Hz? In the Year of Our Lord 2024?!? That is so frickin' embarrassing in a phone this expensive. It's the biggest flaw in an otherwise excellent phone.

• Apple Intelligence: ZOMG! CRAIG! WE LOVE YOU, CRAIG! I am leery of AI, including the Apple-branded "Apple Intelligence.” I think so much of it has been developed and utilized in ways that are pretty shitty. That being said, it sounds like Apple is going to at least try to protect your privacy and have some personalized features which rely on the Apple Ecosystem to be useful. I will likely not be using AI for my writing though. At least not initially. I’d rather something come from me rather than a computer interpreting me. I do like the idea of using AI to help sort through my bazillion photos to find what I am looking for though. That is a useful and smart implementation of AI. As is the summarization of an email in the message preview, which is very useful given that most people have no idea how to get to the fucking point. — Siri has been stupid for far, far too long, so it’s nice that it looks like the tech will be worthwhile now (hopefully it will spill over into Apple's HomeKit crap). — The "Visual Intelligence” demo to get info on stuff you see looks amazing, though I laughed my ass off when the guy ASKED FOR PERMISSION to take a photo of that dog, which is more than AI companies do! They don’t generally give a shit about permission, and just take whatever they want! — I am not commenting about “Genmojis" because I’m embarrassed to admit how often I will use this feature. — Not that any of this matters. None of this will be available until October sometime. Why Apple didn't delay their big AI-laden phone until the AI is actually available is likely due to hitting a calendar ship date to make shareholders happy. Screw the customers... it's the shareholders that matter. A strategy that worked awesome for Sonos!

• Camera Control: Absolutely shocking that non-Pro customers are getting this without having to wait a year like they usually do for Pro features. Anyway... I am one of those people who uses my iPhone for photos more than anything else. Making/receiving actual phone calls is WAY down on the list. So of course I’m always thrilled when new camera features are added. The new “Camera Control” has been a long time coming. Apple is taking ideas from DSLRs and I am totally here for it. This is an absolute game-changer for people who want more control when taking photos, but are tired of missing shots because you have to open a bunch of crappy menus to get to what you need.

• iOS 18: Messages via Satellite is intriguing to me. But I am not hearing about how much it costs? It used to be free with the purchase of an iPhone, but it always sounded like they would charge after a year unless you got a new iPhone. No mention of this?

• iPhone 16 Pro: Yep. There’s the "Camera Control" button. Nice. — Larger more durable display. Nice. — AND HERE WE ARE... boring, dead, shitty colors. Yet again...

Faded Black, Snot Smear, Dingy White, and Unhealthy Urine Stain. Exactly what I've come to expect. Not even a "Forest Green" or "Dark Blue" this time. And of course no vivid or saturated colors that I'd want. This is so fucking disappointing year after year after YEAR. The good colors are only ever available on the cheaper phones. What the fuck is the thinking on this? People who pay more money for their phone don't deserve nice colorways? — HA! Only a 15% speed bump over the phone I have now? Ummm... wow. At least it’s using 20% less battery for the 15% performance bump that I'll never notice, so that’s something, I guess? — But, hey, faster AI performance. I guess that's what Apple thinks is a priority now.

• iPhone 16 Pro Photography Extras: The ultra-wide-angle/macro camera is better, but it remains to be seen if that translates to photos which are actually better. So many times Apple professes that the new hardware will make for better photos, but you just don’t see it in real-world use, only in specific situations and conditions. Apparently the sensor reads are faster to reduce lag as well. No mention about any improvement to low-light photography. No mention about the selfie-camera. No mention about any fusion photo upgrades (except what will naturally come out of a slightly faster processor). — I do very much like the new real-time color-grading, which will help me make good decisions when composing a shot. And it sounds like you can apply this after the fact, which is awesome. — The video features are all great, but I don't shoot much video, so I likely won't benefit from these cool new features (including the awesome "Cinematic SlowMo")... especially the fact that you can adjust the speed after you shoot! Nice! — The audio recording improvements will likewise be lost on me, but I guess it's good to have that in those rare instances I shoot video.

• The Weeknd!: These real-world use cases that Apple unloads almost never apply to everyday iPhone users given the expensive gear that's needed on top of the high cost of the iPhone Pro needed to actually do this, but it's so great to see what is possible. Especially with this banger track from The Weeknd!

• MagSafe: Ooh! Looks like Apple users are finally getting a MagSafe speed bump that might be on-par with what other phones have had for a while now! Which is nice if I ever needed, but I always charge my iPhone overnight and the newer models have such good battery life that I don't worry about it. I often get messages that my phone isn't charging at full speed to help the battery because it knows I just leave it on the charger all night.

• Case Study: I've never had a third-party case work as well as what I can get from Apple so I don't even bother any more. And the addition of Camera Control almost guarantees that third-party will continue to be worse than anything you get from Apple. Fortunately we're at least getting three options that aren't total drab, boring, morose shit...

I will probably end up with "Ultramarine" because the yellow is not even a touch golden. Which is a shame, because a golden yellow case has always been one of my favorites...

Maybe I'll look at the case at an Apple Store to see if it's a little more golden than it appears on their site. Assuming I bother using the iPhone Upgrade Program to trade up. This may be the year I hold onto my phone a year and get to actually own it come September 2025! Depends on the use-case of the camera... because I likely won't bother unless the photos are better and "Apple Intelligence" is pitifully slow on my iPhone 15 Pro Max.

• Project(NOT-RED): I have to say... I am beyond disappointed that Apple seems to have ended their partnership with Project(RED). No (RED) Watches or Bands. No (RED) iPhones or Cases. No (RED) anything? Maybe Apple doesn't care about fighting AIDS any more? Maybe they will start to care if people start dying from it all over again because the cost of treatment keeps exploding and newer generations aren't taking good precautionary measures to not contract it?

And that's a wrap. Interesting, but nothing so essential that I am dying to upgrade. Especially given the color situation. Good Lord is Apple shoveling colorways that are even worse than they usually are! Nothing (RED) or even bright and hopeful is available for any product I would be interested in! Booo! BOOOOO, APPLE!

Happy WWDC to all who celebrate!

And lo did Apple descend from the heavens to bestow upon all of us the glory that is World Wide Developer Conference 2024! As usual, I will be jotting down my thoughts as the keynote progresses.

UPDATE: Somebody compiled Craig being Craig and it's perfect. Except they didn't show the part with his Daily Hair Journal...

Vision OS

• Cool story, bro. If $3,500 drops in my lap so I can buy one, I'll get excited. I do like that camera manufacturers are bringing 3D lenses to their cameras though.

iOS

• Craig is my favorite Apple spokesperson at these things.
• Control Center has always been useful... it's nice to see that they're adding some important functionality. Being able to get to Home controls so easily is going to save time and frustration.
• Being able to manually arrange my home screen is a plus. But the last thing I want to spend time on is customizing icons and whatnot. Nice it's there for people who want it, and Apple does make it look quick and easy, so maybe?
• App protection is cool beans. Less likely to worry about handing my phone over to somebody if I know that the sensitive information on it is better protected. Not that I hand my phone over to people on the regular, but it does happen. I suspect that people cheating on their spouses will be particularly happy about being able to hide specific apps so they are not immediately visible!
• More formatting options in Messages is nice. Most people I know don't use formatting at all, but I definitely do all the time, so happy birthday to me, I guess. And did Craig just verify that RCS is happening so that Android owners will stop being Big Mad? But it's likely more important to them that they don't get green-bubbled. Though I seriously doubt Apple will go that far. They know what an exclusivity boost blue bubbles are for iPhone users.
• Messages via Satellite is interesting. But do you have to pay to use it? Or is it like SOS which is free for two years after you buy an iPhone? Given that my new carrier, Verizon, is absolute shit for signal, I'd actually have use for this if it were free. Interesting to note that I know somebody personally who has used the SOS feature to get rescued. That's a game-changer right there.
• Trail Maps is cool, but seems as though it's an unnecessary add-on given how the people needing things like this are already using something like All Trails which has additional features beyond maps.
• Tap to Cash is a great idea... assuming that the person you want to pay uses Apple Cash. So few people I know have it because Venmo is easier to set up and use. If Apple wants to make Apple Cash be more pervasive, they really need to take a look at getting it set up with people.
• Photos is such an important app, and yet it's kinda bad if you have a lot of images. Fortunately Apple has shown the app some love so searching is much easier. I love how she said Amazing Intelligence... AI... so it's AI without saying AI. LOL. The app looks great, but until I use it I honestly won't know if it's going to be that big of a help compared to where we were.
• LARGER ICONS ON THE HOME SCREEN?!? It's like they knew I need this after my eye surgery! Thanks, Craig!

iPods

• Okay... the head shakes to answer Siri in your headphones is glorious. That's smart thinking! But the noise isolation is going to be the real party trick. I hope it's as good as they make it out to be.

TV OS

• InSight... very handy and clever. I am definitely one of those people who is constantly wondering "Where have I seen this actor before?" so I feel seen.
• Audio improvements are always welcome.
• FUCK!! ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IMPROVEMENT FOR THE HORRENDOUSLY SHITTY APPLE TV USER INTERFACE?!? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK, APPLE?!?

Watch OS

• The Vitals app goes beyond the sleep app I am currently using, so I am fully onboard for this. I have to say, it's so nice to see that Apple is really invested to helping people being more proactive about staying healthy like this.

iPad OS

• Look, all these new bells and whistles are nice and all (the handwriting Smart Script feature is incredible), but it is categorically absurd that they have done absolutely nothing to address the stupid shortcoming when it comes to file-handling, lack of background tasks, and multitasking. My God. Again, if Apple is going to intentionally nerf the iPad because they don't want it cutting into MacBook sales, they should just shut down iPad and move on. This is fucking ridiculous. Fully configured iPads cost more than a MacBook!

MacOS Sequoia

• Craig going all PARKOUR! PARKOUR! is why everybody loves Craig.
• The new iPhone Mirroring control of your iPhone on MacOS X is fantastic. So incredibly handy. Not having to constantly grab my iPhone for stuff when working on my Mac is going to be so nice.
• No need for a 3rd party app to control screen positioning is handy. But not for the developers of those apps.
• Safari is such a mixed blessing. When it works as intended, it's my favorite browser. But constantly running across incompatibilities is really fucking annoying. I really wish that Apple would pause the "improvements" and focus on compatibility for a minute!
• I, for one, welcome our new Safari Password overlords. That's something that should be built into Safari. Ever since 1Password went the subscription model, I don't care whether it lives or dies, and this is pretty much signing off on its death warrant.
• Gaming is such a hard sell for the Mac, so it's understandable that Apple would want to keep improving tools to port new games to their platforms. But until there's a cheap television console available for advanced gaming, I think that many developers are going to continue to skip out. You'd think it's a no-brainer for Apple to do this. A Mac mini retool would be so easy. Not sure why this hasn't been a priority.

A.I. Apple Intelligence

And here we go. The thing that everybody has been waiting for...

• LOL. Leave it to Apple to address the things that the Humane AI Pin and Rabbit R1 promised but didn't deliver, i.e. integrating AI with a personal context that's already defined within the Apple ecosystem. No having to add a bunch of data to get useful AI is why platforms like Apple and Google will succeed where others will struggle. Plus... no need to carry around a second device? Sign me up!
• Privacy is a big Apple flex, and the fact that they have been working on hardware which allows localized AI processing (AKA "Neural Engine") for years just proves that they have been working on AI for quite a while. For external AI needs, the anonymized "Private Cloud Compute" seems like an ideal situation. That Apple allows the code to be inspected by 3rd parties to verify privacy is how it should work.
• Siri has been a pile of stupid almost since its inception. And Apple hasn't done a damn thing to improve it, favoring instead to add features that don't address the base problem while Google Assistant eats their lunch. And now? Finally... finally... Apple has actually added smarts to actually have a smart assistant.
• BWAH HA HA HAAAA! Type to Siri is shots fired to Humane's AI Pin. But, seriously, I still don't understand how people could rationally believe that voice instructions should be the only way to interact with a device. If you're in a meeting, that's almost impossible. Humane AI Pin was doomed from the start, and the fact that there are people surprised at this (mostly at Humane, I'm betting) just blows my mind.
• Apple's demos of the new Siri is exactly what everybody has been wanting since Star Trek debuted. True voice control and interaction with a smart device has been a pipe dream until recently, when it's becoming reality.
• Apple kept reiterating the privacy controls, because it can be genuinely scary to think about Siri having such intimate knowledge of who you are and everything you do. I still don't know if I should be excited or worried. But I have to say I'm less worried with Apple's assurances of on-device processing, privacy, and 3rd party inspection of the code which makes it all work.
• I never, ever use Siri on Mac. It's just so fucking useless. But apparently that's a thing of the past, which actually is exciting.
• More demos. Rewrite being able to adjust the tone of your emails is something that will be very interesting to see. I always think that things like this will present people not as who they are, but who they want to be. Is this a good thing? I really don't think so. I'd rather interact with people exactly for who they are... warts and all... rather than have everybody I know sound like a machine.
• Smart Reply in email is lovely. Being able to write out replies to inane emails without having to actually write anything is something I will very much be happy to have.
• Apple Intelligence just making all the little everyday things easier and less work is where AI is really going to be felt. That's the promise of AI fulfilled. Until AI takes over the earth and eradicates all humans, of course.
• Genmoji is hysterical. But looks oddly useful. But will things like this make us more effective at communicating ourselves... or less? Is our future not words but strings of emojis? Maybe. And I, for one, will not be decrying the death of language if accommodations can be made for cultural differences which could result in a serious, serious problem. Different peoples of the world attach different meaning to visual cues. I imagine this will be an ever-evolving transition of expression. The way that the "high-five" emoji has evolved to be "praying hands" emoji which is often used to express gratitude in many places on earth.
• Image Playground is cute. Being able to create an AI image to convey a feeling or situation is nice. Especially if you can't draw well. Though I hope that Apple's implementation is compensating those artists whose work has been used to train it. We may never know.
• Image Wand interprets rough drawings and photos to allow redrawing and touchup with zero effort. This is a mixed blessing. Bringing tools once only used by professionals to everybody... but at the cost of jobs by those professionals? If I were still in that line of work, I know I'd be worried. Will companies even bother with artists now that Generative AI can steal their art to reimagine it as whatever they want? God I hope not. But here we are.
• Then Craig says and that's not all! and promises that these few examples are just the beginning of "AI for The Rest of Us." And I believe it. By allowing integration with OpenAI's ChatGPT services, which are at the forefront of AI development, Apple doesn't have to worry about falling behind. It's genius, I suppose. Though I'd imagine it's going to cost Apple a metric fuckton of money to make it happen. Good thing that money is the one thing Apple doesn't have to worry about.

So... out of my Top Five Most Needed Things to Come Out of WWDC 2024, Apple managed to check one of them. My #2 ask. Oh well. That's so very Apple that I wouldn't imagine it having gone any other way.

Overall I'm excited to see how AI being integrated to seamlessly into our lives is going to change the world. For better? For worse? Time will tell. At which point it will be too late to do anything about it one way or the other.

UPDATE: There's buzz out of WWDC that we will finally be able to specify which device we want to use as a "Home Hub." Color me fucking shocked. Of course I'm going to specify my hardwired via Ethernet AppleTV that's connected to my main television. Since Apple's shitty fucking software can't figure out that's the best bet on its own. So damn embarrassing. So, yeah, I guess I'm giving Apple a half-point for that (doesn't seem like there's any other much-needed improvements happening, but maybe?).

This is the post I was planning to write yesterday on the occasion of the Macintosh's 40th anniversary. But after hat happened, I'm having to write it today.

The first compputer not programmed with punchcards that I ever used was an Apple ][ at school. But the first computer I owned at home was an Atari 800. My parents went for the big ticket version instead off the cheaper Atari 400, which meant I had glorious full-sized physical keys instead of an impossible-to-type-on membrane keyboard. From there I migrated to the Atari 1040 ST, and later the Atari TT.

It was at this point that I got a scanner, which I wanted so I could scan my drawings into my computer. It was huge and very, very expensive. And it didn't work directly with an Atari, but required kludgy drivers to operate. Badly.

Included with the scanner was a copy of Photoshop.

Which ran on Macintosh only.

Frustrated with the limitations and lack of software for the Atari, I saved up for a Mac, at last. It was the cheapest model I could get, a Mac Performa 600 (a poor man's Mac Quadra, which was the model I coveted). I bought it at Sears on credit. The very next month, it was discontinued, and I could have gotten a more powerful machine for the same money (or saved a chunk on my now-outdated model), but thems the breaks...

My memory of what came after is hazy. I believe my next Mac was actually a Mac clone by Power computing. Then there was a Mac G3 tower of some kind that I bought and ended up selling... a Power Mac G4 Cube (which remains my favorite Mac design ever, even though it wasn't all that powerful)... a number of MacBook laptops (culminating with my MacBook Pro M2 Max I'm using now)... a few iMacs (culminating with my iMac M1 desktop that I have now)... not to mention the legion of Macs that I've had at work (culminating in the Mac Studio M1 Ultra).

And eventually, just to satisfy the completist in me, I ended up buying one of the original models from the early years of the Mac, a Macintosh 512K. Not sure if it still works, as it's been over a decade since I turned it on, but it's still collecting dust in my garage.

We won't mention the various other Apple products that have accompanied my Macs over the years. QuickTake cameras, a Newton Message Pad, all kinds of iPods, iPhones, iPads, Apple Watches, and such. I'm a certified Apple Whore through and through who bleeds in six colors.

So, yeah, that's a brief history of the Mac and Me. A computer that, despite my growing hatred of Apple, is still my favorite kind of computer to use.

At least for now.

I'm still waiting for computer implants to come along.

Maybe in another 4o years.

And so Apple has unleashed their mixed reality headsets on the world.

Do I want an Apple Vision Pro? Of course I do. Am I going to pay $3,500 plus lens inserts plus AppleCare plus accessories plus tax to get one? Of course not. That being said... Apple's new video introducing the device makes it look pretty great...

And their short video about how the devices are made is very cool...

For something like this I might pay $1000 (assuming I could scrounge up $1000)... just for the ability to watch movies on a massive screen in my home, because that's cheaper than a massive TV... but everything else just feels like a gimmick to me. I dunno. Maybe if I were to go to an Apple Store so I could try it in person and see the possibilities for how I could use it I might change my mind. But, for now at least, the $5000 price of entry is too damn high.

UPDATE: And... they immediately sold out. Couldn't get one at launch if I wanted to. Thank heavens. I need to pay my mortgage.

Today I was much like a kid at Christmas given that my new Apple Watch Series 9 and iPhone 15 Pro Max arrived. It happened the morning I was hanging out with my friends, so I was anticipating the transfer from my old phone to be shit-butt city as we went bar-hopping and I was climbing on and off Wi-Fi all afternoon.

Turns out I had nothing to worry about. Unlike last year when I upgraded to the iPhone 14 Pro Max, everything went off without a hitch. Well, almost. There's one teeny tiny problem that's giving me fits, but I'll get to that.

Apple Watch Series 9

As I mentioned during the keynote, I had zero intention of upgrading my Apple Watch Series 6. There just doesn't seem to be anything worth upgrading for. Well, except having a new battery, since the one in my old watch would no longer last the day if I had the always-on display set to "on." Still. With the display off except for tap-to-wake, I easily made it through the day and it did everything I needed it to do.

What tipped the scales for me was the fact that Series 9 does most all Siri processing locally. Which means that simple requests aren't passing through the cellular radio on my iPhone for a round trip that causes a noticeable delay. And, sure enough, the Apple Watch is really quick with Siri requests, which makes the price of admission worth it for me (once you factor in the $115 that Apple will give me to trade in my old one).

But it turns out this isn't the best part of upgrading.

The display is not just brighter... it's bigger!

It's five o'clock somewhere...

I have to get the little watch since, as you can see, my arms are so thin. The Series 6 is 40mm. The Series 9 (in red) is 41mm. But there's also the fact that the display goes out further to the edges. Everything looks bigger. Very nice.

The double-finger-tap control works as advertised. Everything is very zippy. Fast and smooth. Overall, a good upgrade from where I was. I dunno if this is a worthy upgrade if you've got a Series 8, but for me it was a good choice.

iPhone 15 Pro Max

I gave serious consideration to skipping an upgrade for a year so I could own my iPhone 14 Pro Max outright. But ultimately I figured one of the benefits of being in the Apple Upgrade Program is getting the latest and greatest, so I caved. Mostly because I use it more as a camera than a phone and the 5× optical zoom lens plus claims of better night photos swayed me. Along with the fact that iPhones hold their value well... but not so great that I'm leaving loads of money on the table from what I can tell looking at the 13 Pro Max used market.

Camera aside, I honestly don't notice a big difference with the 15. Sure it's a touch lighter, but all the things I like are mostly the same and the one thing I hate (Apple's silicone cases do not stay attached like they used to) is also the same. It's fast. It's capable. It runs all my apps very well. The end. Maybe I'll buy a game that has ray-tracing to see how that looks. Stunning, I'm sure.

Setup was far, far better than the past two years. Pairing my new Apple Watch was seamless. Everything copied over just fine. The only problem I have is that my phone app shows a red badge notification with a "1" in it... even though there's no fucking notifications when I look everywhere in the app. I've restarted three times and shut it down once. No joy. I finally just turned off badge notifications. Hopefully Apple will fix this shit one of these days. UPDATE: Turned off my iPhone for 20 full minutes then restarted. That did the trick.

Other than that, my complaints are A) They don't have a (Product)RED silicone case for it... B) The new Action Button is a cool thing, but it's WAY up on the side, so it's only hand if you're holding your phone horizontally... and you can't customize it for double-click or triple-click, and... C) The blue that I got is pretty much black with a blue cast... in the right light. And it's like... what's the fucking point? You've already got a black phone. So why not make a bright red (Product)RED phone or something that will truly look bold and different? Why do Pro users always get fucked with these boring-ass "premium" color choices? Of course, I'll take these over the fucking PASTELS that the regular iPhone 15's got. Because yikes. Those look like total shit. Maybe I should have gone with Raw Titanium color to have something different? Meh. It doesn't bother me that much. It's just disappointing.

Lastly there's USB-C 3.2 Gen 2 which will allow you to transfer much, much faster than Lightning (480 megabytes per second vs. 10 gigabytes per second). If you've got the right cable. And it's about fucking time. Jesus. Apple puts these massive sensors in their cameras and allow shooting RAW, but it takes an eternity to get them off of it because the resulting files are huge. I didn't even bother to shoot RAW, because it can take days to get them all in your computer to actually work on them. I've got USB-C 3.2 cables, so maybe now I will. Thank you to the EU for mandating USB-C on all phones... otherwise Apple would probably stick with obsolete Lightning ports for years longer. The one thing I don't understand it why they didn't just go with Thunderbolt4 (100Gps) compatibility to really make it worthwhile. Guess they're saving that to get you to upgrade in the future? In any event, you can record ProRes 4K 60Hz video directly to an external SSD now, which is pretty special.

iPhone 15 Pro Max Camera

First a caveat on that spiffy new 5× lens. It needs good light to function. If you don't got that, it switches back to you main camera. This did not happen with the 3× lens on my old camera. At least not that I recall. This is a pretty big downgrade, if you ask me. It may very well be a deal breaker for some people who would rather have a 3× lens with more flexibility. As for me? I'm greedy. I wish we would have gotten both. Add a fourth lens on the Pro Max to get the best of both worlds! Or, ideally, give us a 3× and a 10×. UPDATE: If you want to force the camera to use the 5× lens in low light, some third party camera apps (like Halide) will let you.

That being said, when you've got some light it's very nice. This was shot in a bar with not great lighting, but look how good it turned out at 5×! Very sharp and the color is beautiful, despite the fact that we're very clearly entering HDR "Deep Fusion" territory here...

Click here to look at a bigger version.
Click here to see the full size version.

That's pretty impressive... but the main lens really looks great...

Click here to look at a bigger version.
Click here to see the full size version.

Interesting that Apple now calls the "Main Camera" the "Wide Camera" and the "Wide Camera the Ultra Wide Camera. Note that the "Wide Camera" has a goodly number of pixels more than the previous generation (but with bigger files, natch)...

Now... I have only had the camera for a tiny amount of time. I will obviously be taking more photos and a closer look at the features and quality sometime soon (especially when it comes to being able to change the focal point after the fact... because in playing around with it, this is a very cool feature). And of course I'll want to look at how well it shoots ProRes video (especially its ability to shoot LOG video that can be color graded easily and pushed in directions you can't get easily otherwise).

But last thing I want to say before I go is how Apple's claim that the new camera has "seven lenses" is not quite the bullshit it seems given that there's only three lenses on the back. The main lens allows you to use "virtual lenses" that crop into the data with common focal lengths (24mm, 28mm, and 35mm). But you still end up with 5712×4284 images, which means that Apple is upscaling or doing some kind of magic to get there. And the result is very good. I did the same thing in Photoshop to compare, and Apple's method always comes out on top. Which means that they must have specialized computational photography routines to come much closer than a mere crop.

Ultimately I don't know that going for the upgrade was the best choice for me. I likely could have gotten along with the 14 Pro Max for another year without issue. But as somebody who likes any improvement Apple will give me on the cameras, the 15 Pro Max will likely make me happier overall.

Until next year.