Apple's World Wide Developer Conference is an event unto itself every year. Today I woke up at 4:30am so I could catch up on work and watch the event live so I could add the commentary you've all been dying for. If you want to watch it while reading this, you can find the entire thing on YouTube here.

Craig Federighi once again makes everybody fall in love with him due to his filmed-intro, screaming around the top of the Apple Park building in an F1 car to promote their new movie F1 (original title!) with Brad Pitt. And heeeeere's Tim Cook... to introduce more Craig!

To read all the gory details of Apple's keynote and my random thoughts about what they announced, you can find it in an extended entry, because it's rather long (I type fast and think a lot of things!)...

It's incredibly frustrating to have a company I once loved... nay, worshipped... fall so far from grace.

There are days that I roundly despise Apple for their fucking bullshit, which is something inconceivable to the me from a decade ago. But every time some bug rears its ugly head despite it being reported years ago... every time an Apple technology I bought into keeps failing year after year... every time I have to endure klutzy interface elements that haven't been updated in years and make for a horrible user experience... every time there's yet another broken promise... well... I'm cursing Apple more and more lately.

And then I read this article: Retreating to Safety, which mentions that Apple will not be doing a live interview at their World Wide Developer's Conference this year. After a decade of doing just that.

And it's like... is it any wonder?

Apple sold everybody new iPhones with the promise of fantastic new AI capabilities... then never released all the new AI capabilities they promised (and still haven't). Plus there's all that bullshit I mentioned at the top. Apple has gone from a golden boy doing everything right to just another shitty fucking company that doesn't give a fuck about their users because they have profit margins to meet.

So now we sit and wait for The New Apple to come along so we can chuck them in the bin just like we have so many other companies which went down this road.

So I received an email reply which was "Thanks, David!"

And the Apple "Intelligence" short summary in my mail window was "Gratitude was expressed." I mean, holy shit... THE AI SHORT SUMMARY WAS LONGER THAN THE ORIGINAL MESSAGE!!! How is this AI bullshit in any way helpful? So many times the AI summaries I get out of Apple are stupid as shit. Is anybody testing this crap? Anybody at all?

I am beyond sick of companies just shitting AI on top of everything whether it's made better by it or not.

Because, spoiler alert, most of the time it just makes everything worse.

All these tech demos being unleashed where AI is actually useful and helpful... yet when it comes to actual Raal Life? Not so much.

And so I downloaded Microsoft Outlook today.

Apple Mail has been a useless pile of garbage from the beginning yet Apple does not give a single shit. It's tied to absolutely everything else in MacOS, so you pretty much have to use it, but Apple doesn't care if it sucks.

But it gets so much worse the more you use it.

Searching for a word? Fine. Here's a list of emails that word appears in. But then you have to search within the search results to find out where the word actually occurs.

But it gets so much worse than just that.

The thing that sent me into a rage this morning that made me go running to download Microsoft Outlook? Something so outrageously stupid that I cannot wrap my head around it... SEARCH RESULTS IN APPLE MAIL ARE FUCKING CASE SENSITIVE?!? Jesus. Who the fuck does that? This is absolute insanity. Especially for names which have multiple capitalization options, meaning you have to search 3 or 4 times before you get anywhere. Madness. Absolute fucking madness.

But it gets so much worse than just that.

Most of the time when trying to actually get results out of Apple Mail search... the app crashes. MacOS gives you a full-on crash report and everything!

But anyway...

I know that other email programs make search much, much easier. For one thing, they don't immediately crash. For another, search results are only case-sensitive if you want them to be. For yet another, you search once for a word or phrase and the word or phrase is highlighted in all the emails where the app found results. You don't have to re-search or scroll forever (since re-searches crash the app).

And, yep, sure enough... Microsoft Outlook is a frickin' dream to use. Not just for search but for everything. It's not as integrated into MacOS X as I'd like, but it's so much easier to use and so much more capable that I just don't give a shit. I'll start up Apple Mail if it turns out I have to.

Way to go, Apple.

How long is it before I give up on MacOS X and Mac and start using Windows PCs? No idea, but it will be all your fault if it happens.

Siri, the Apple digital "assistant," made me totally lose my shit today.

I needed to sweep out the garage, so I told Siri to unlock the front door instead of opening the garage door, as I'd be parking in the driveway for a while. Siri responded with "Your front door can't do that."

And I lost it. Totally and completely lost it.

I was screaming in my car... "CAN'T DO THAT? MY FRONT DOOR CAN'T UNLOCK? WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT?!? YOU'VE UNLOCKED IT BEFORE, SO WHAT'S CHANGED? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE THE MOST WORTHLESS FUCKING PILE OF TECH TRASH SINCE MICROSOFT BOB! HOW THE FUCK DOES APPLE CONSIDER YOU TO BE A SMART ASSISTANT? YOU'RE THE DUMBEST ASSISTANT IN THE HISTORY OF SCIENCE! EVEN THOMAS MIDGLEY JR. WAS JUST EVIL AND NOT INCOMPETENT LIKE THIS. FUCK OFF... FUCK YOU... AND DEFINITELY FUCK APPLE!!!"

I would have kept going, but I was home already.

And here's the thing. Siri was listening to my rant the entire time. The rainbow glow was circling my CarPlay screen, so it was all recorded. Then it was assumably sent to Apple. And I hope they listen to it, because they've earned every fucking word.

There was good news to be had, however.

Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman are back with another season of their Long Way... series on AppleTV+ where they take a big motorcycle trip together. It's always a wonderful adventure, and this time looks like no exception...

The thing that strikes me when watching the show is just how incredibly nice Ewan McGregor is to the people he meets. Never has an unkind word. Always willing to engage with fans. Never gets tired of chatting about Star Wars. All too often, big Hollywood stars end up being such assholes. It's so refreshing to see the opposite of that.

Especially on a show this good.

Which is well worth your time whether you like motorcycles or not.

What the hell is wrong with app developers now-a-days? Do they just not give a shit? Do they not beta test? Do they not use their own software? Because I've been trying my best to understand why 90% of the apps I use are total crap, and I am at a complete loss.

Apple HomeKit HomeShit's app is the obvious contender for worst of the worst. It's so insanely bad that I automatically assume it will fail at what I want it to do. We were promised that Siri with Apple Intelligence would fix how utterly brain-dead their tech is at implementing even the most basic commands, but now Apple is delaying the rollout... despite the fact that they sold me my new iPhone based on smarter Siri coming soon! They had commercials with Bella Ramsey advertising it and everything! So now there are lawsuits by people who feel misled. And I want to join up because I'm definitely feeling like Apple has taken a giant shit on me yet again. I don't give a fuck about "Apple Intelligence"... just make it so I can get an automation to work for more than a day and let me control my home on my Mac without having to constantly restart the Home app. And, while you're at it, stop having your iPod mini tell me to switch to my iPhone app to open a damn door WHEN I AM TALKING INTO MY iPHONE AND SIRI HAS ACKNOWLEDGED THAT I'M SPEAKING TO IT THERE!

But the thing that happened today which compelled me to write this post?

Microsoft.

Who else? They have a long, long legacy of bullshit.

So there I was logging in to a shared drive on Microsoft servers when I get a message that I need to authorize access with the Microsoft Authenticator app. Authenticating is normal now, alas, and many companies are doing it to curb piracy. Adobe apps are all authenticated with their app, for example.

But unlike Adobe, where my Apple Watch will display buttons to allow or reject access... Microsoft has only ONE button after asking you to approve sign-in: Dismiss.

What the entire fuck?

Why even bother to have Apple Watch services if they aren't worth a shit? If I am going to have to open my iPhone to authenticate, fine, but leave my watch the hell out of it. Why pester me with a question that's impossible to answer?

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

How are Microsoft developers, who obviously know what they coded into the app, looking at this stupid bullshit and saying "Yep! That's the way we want it to work!"

The future may be now, but the technology of the future sucks.

   
UPDATE: Right on queue, Marques has some thoughts...

It's beyond shitty how Apple has degenerated to its current state. I can't fathom this kind of bullshit happening when Steve Jobs was running the company.

Despite being a certified Apple whore, I have never hesitated to call out their "smart voice assistant" as being stupid as shit. And even that's being generous. I wrote sometime last year that I was seriously excited that Apple Intelligence was coming to smarten Siri up and make the technology finally be consistently useful.

Well, I think we all know how that turned out.

I've been in on Apple's take on AI since the developer's beta, and Siri is stupid as ever. Absolutely nothing has changed. Basic commands fail at an alarming rate. Trying to get Siri to understand anything is a challenge. I have gotten so frustrated at times that I've been screaming at an iPod mini in the bathroom while getting ready for work... or into my iPhone in my pocket from my AirPods... or at CarPlay while driving.

Just today I asked Siri via CarPlay to get me directions to the grocery store in Big City. I knew where it was, but wanted the fastest route from where I was at. I asked, very specifically, for the store I wanted. Siri still gave me two options... one in the next city over that was farther away... which is absolute madness. After having to tap the screen for the one I wanted because I didn't know how the fuck you vocally tell Siri which option to use when you've already given it the literal city and street, Apple Maps sent me in the opposite fucking direction. So I gave up and told Siri to "cancel navigation." After a seriously long pause, Siri said that it couldn't do that right now, then proceeded to keep giving me directions to the wrong store. And it's like... what, exactly, the fuck do you have to do to just get Siri to send you to the fucking store that you asked for in the first place?

I was so fucking enraged by the time I made two taps on the screen to cancel the wrong directions that I very nearly punched my finger through the damn screen. Siri is fucking useless and Apple "Intelligence" is a fucking joke.

The problem is magnified exponentially when you're attempting to get Siri to take control of shitty fucking Apple tech like HomeKit. My God. How basic of a command is "Hey Siri, turn off the kitchen lights?" that Siri doesn't know what in the hell to do? How big of a fucking failure is your technology if the most rudimentary commands can't be interpreted?

And it ain't just me. This story on Daring Fireball is pathetically hilarious: Siri Is Super Dumb and Getting Dumber.

Yep. That pretty much sums it up.

To say that I outright loathe HomeShit HomeKit is a massive understatement. Apple has fucked up their "smart home" protocol since Day One.

When the technology debuted it was so woefully incomplete that I ditched it immediately and went with INSTEON. When INSTEON died years later, I decided to give HomeKit another chance because so many people were saying that it was finally a worthwhile way to control your home and devices. Since I was in a hurry, I went all-in on HomeKit and replaced every light switch and "smart device" in my home (at great expense). But I didn't trust Apple entirely because I made sure to buy devices that would be upgradable to the "Matter" protocol so if HomeKit ended up being awful I could just migrate to Matter and control everything another way.

SPOILER ALERT: HOMEKIT is still most definitely HOMESHIT!

HomeKit in 2024 is still a brain-dead pile of shit that is wildly inflexible and doesn't work consistently. Apple has been working on this for TEN YEARS and yet automations suddenly stop working for no reason and devices won't act as expected. Even worse, all you get to work with is the most basic of basic controls...

That's pretty much it. That's all you get. It's fucking embarrassing. Apple has always dumbed their stuff down to the lowest common denominator, but this is just beyond fucking useless if you want to have any kind of smarts in your smart home. What I need is something like this...

I've tried multiple times to do something this bloody simple and it always fails. Ideally I'd be able to use a WHILE statement so I don't have to create a second IF/THEN loop to turn them off, but at this point I'll take anything I can get.

What I'm really looking for is something like this, where the roof heat tapes only turn on if it's been snowing for a while so I don't have to waste energy on a tiny amount of snowfall that will melt quickly...

But do you think basic variables or even a rudimentary timer is available in HomeKit? Oh fuck no.

This is all off the top of my head, and I'm sure once I got into the logic of whatever system I end up with, I'll get smarter on how to best approach the automations I'm looking to create. The point is that stuff like this simply isn't possible with HomeKit.

Enter Homey Pro...

I actually bought one of these devices last year, but ended up returning it because it wasn't able to control the devices I had (mostly because my light switch manufacturer hadn't gotten out the Matter upgrade as promised). Fast-forward to Black Friday 2024 and miracle-of-miracles, my light switch manufacturer has finally released their Matter upgrade!

And so I am once again giving Homey Pro a try.

Today I received the device. Tonight I'll install it. Tomorrow I'll get started on upgrading all my stuff to Matter and seeing if Homey Pro will work for my needs.

And you, lucky reader, get to come alpong for the ride!

Snowy weather may have kept me from working in the yard today, but it didn't keep me from blogging... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Garbage! Remember how I was chuffed to bits that I managed to get everything in my garage put away so I have a dry place to park this Winter? This past Wednesday I realized that I forgot to leave room for my garbage can. In the Spring and Summer months I keep it outside because the heat makes it smell and I don't have to worry about trudging through snow to get to it. But now is when it's far smarter to have it inside, so I had to spend an hour rearranging all my junk so it would fit. WHY, LORD? WHY IS LIFE SO HARD?!?

   
• More Hallmark Than Hallmark! I lost access to Hallmark Channel, so I haven't seen any new movies in a while. Which is a wild adjustment for me to be making considering how I watched every new movie they ever released. But I can still enjoy the parodies, and this couple has some that are better than most...

This one is even more hilarious...

It's funny. But entirely accurate.

   
• XXX! I hate having my time wasted. And an increasing cause of time being wasted are companies adopting technology, then abandoning it without shutting it down. I bought a new Whirlpool oven. There's a Photoregister service where you can take a photo of a code and text it to register your product. But even though my photo is perfectly legible, I get the error "Sorry, we were unable to read that. Please reply with the code on the bottom of the camera icon."

I blurred out the number at the end because I don't know if having my serial number out there causes problems, but you can see how crisp and perfectly clear the number is in the image by the first three numbers

So I scream then enter the code manually, double-check I have it right, AND GET THE SAME FUCKING ERROR. Jesus. How is this useless fucking technology helping your customers? Just give me a fucking QR code for manually registering to begin with.

   
• Buggy Bugs! iPhone: You've Got Mail! Except when I click it tells me I don’t. This happens CONSTANTLY. It has been reported as a bug for years...

And yet Apple, with their billions of dollars, refuses to allot resources to fix it.

   
• Doon Episode Two! The money that HBO must be dumping into Dune: Prophecy is astounding. This series looks better than most movies. Everything from the sets to the costumes to the incredible special effects... it's so very cool that they're making sure the show has the budget it deserves. It's like they can feel that this has the potential to be their next Game of Thrones and they're doing what they can to make it happen. The preview for Episode 03 has me seriously bemoaning that we're only getting six episodes...

I choose to look at it as a very long movie instead of a short season. Here's hoping that they reeeeeally stick the landing on this one so we get a second season.

   
• WELP! Apple's "Apple Intelligence" ad campaign has been about the stupidest thing I've ever seen. It's not a tool to help you be more productive... it's a badly-implemented crutch for people who are lazy morons! This sums it up nicely...

Maybe eventually AI will become something I give a shit about, but from what we've got right now I'm more embarrassed than impressed.

   
• Start with Garbage, End with Garbage! And, speaking of AI, I can't believe that Adobe has their Stock Images defaulting to AI-Generated images being ON by default. If I wanted an AI-generated image, I'd go to a fucking AI-art generating tool. I wouldn't go to a stock art website. God this company has turned into the absolute fucking WORST. I just accidentally bought an AI-generated image because I didn't see the little "AI" tag they don't add until you hover over it. Well, sorry, I don't support that bullshit personally, and I certainly don't tie it to my place of employment where people would rightfully bash them for stealing photos and art. Lord. If you're going to sell this shit, default to it being OFF... and make the damn disclaimer tag be permanent and not turning off and on based on where your mouse is...

This isn't rocket science. Any guesses as to whether or not my excluding AI will stick and be permanent?

   
Back to watching the snow fall on this very snowy day.

Winter is finally here because there was a dusting of snow on the ground when I woke up this morning, but I can't be out rolling around in it... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Betty Gets Stamped! Betty White is getting her own postage stamp in 2025!

I'm happy that they used a photo of her when she was older since that's how most people would recognize her. But they could have done a set of four with Betty through the ages since her career has been so long and varied... just sayin'.

   
• Happy! I want so badly to see Piece By Piece but the price to buy it is still the in-theater price of $25... so I guess I'm waiting a minute. But, come on, doesn't this Pharrell Williams doc look incredible? Genius, really...

If there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that we need more LEGO documentaries like this.

   
• On The Bayou! Walt Disney World's Splash Mountain has been re-themed into Tiana's Bayou Adventure for a while now, and at last Disneyland's has been transformed as well...

As I said when I took a look at Orlando's ride, I think this was a bit of a missed opportunity in that they should have told the story of the film Princess and the Frog, but they didn't. So that means beloved characters like Ray (not to mention one of Disney's best villains, Dr. Facilier) are missing. That's a darn shame.

   
• Bug Reports! I've lost count of the number of times that I've reported a bug to Apple that they never address. Whenever you receive an email with a meeting link and click "ACCEPT" to let the sender know that you'll be there, the message is immediately deleted. And, no, it's not because Apple Mail adds it to your calendar with the meeting link. It's because Apple Mail IS A BRAIN-DEAD PILE OF SHIT AND NOBODY AT APPLE GIVES A FUCK!

It is absolutely abhorrent how Apple never seems to care about people trying to do actual work with their stupid shit. I have been reporting this same bug for fucking years now.

   
• Cheap Danger! You should probably watch this video. It's a sign of what's going to be coming in other industries. Corporations raking in BILLIONS of dollars yet refusing to pay anything to keep workers and customers safe, because there's no repercussions. And now there will be even less, because the next administration has made it very clear that they're going to continue to put corporations over people...

This is going to cost lives. Not even a question.

   
• Justice! NEWSFLASH: American livestreamer indicted in South Korea over offensive antics. Oh noes. I sure hope that nothing happens to him while he's doing time for being one of the worst people on the face of the fucking planet. He's been terrorizing and disrespecting people, places, and important things for what seems like forever. The number of heinous things he's done is so long that I'm shocked he hasn't been banned from all of Asia. Maybe it's forthcoming.

   
And now we return to Winter, already in progress.