If you aren't old enough to remember what it was like to exist before smart phones, then you have no idea how utterly bizarre the world was back then. Comparatively speaking.

I, of course, am not only familiar with the world before smart phones, I'm familiar with a world before personal computers! Yes. I am that old. And the weird thing is that I do not think about The Before Times. Like at all. I never call up Google Maps or answer a text on my iPhone and think "Gee... remember what it was life before Steve Jobs blessed humanity with this thing? As far as I'm concerned, smart phones feel like they've always existed.

No, what got me to thinking about The Before Times was this video by Eddy Burback where he gave up his mobile phone. And even then, I didn't really think about it UNTIL he got to the part where he was watching old episodes of Sex and The City at the 15-minute mark. THEN I was like "Holy crap..."

I am not to the point where I want to give up my iPhone.

Not even a little bit.

That being said, I am very, very glad that I got to experience life without smart phones. It was a very different time. And not really in a bad way.

I am a bit more mixed when it comes to personal computers. On one hand, being there at the beginning of it all was a super-exciting time to be alive. But on the other hand, it would have been nice if personal computing was a bit further along when I was younger. Particularly in high school.

Though given the horrific state of cyber-bullying, maybe I should be glad it was still in its infancy.

I likely wouldn't have survived it.

What the hell is wrong with app developers now-a-days? Do they just not give a shit? Do they not beta test? Do they not use their own software? Because I've been trying my best to understand why 90% of the apps I use are total crap, and I am at a complete loss.

Apple HomeKit HomeShit's app is the obvious contender for worst of the worst. It's so insanely bad that I automatically assume it will fail at what I want it to do. We were promised that Siri with Apple Intelligence would fix how utterly brain-dead their tech is at implementing even the most basic commands, but now Apple is delaying the rollout... despite the fact that they sold me my new iPhone based on smarter Siri coming soon! They had commercials with Bella Ramsey advertising it and everything! So now there are lawsuits by people who feel misled. And I want to join up because I'm definitely feeling like Apple has taken a giant shit on me yet again. I don't give a fuck about "Apple Intelligence"... just make it so I can get an automation to work for more than a day and let me control my home on my Mac without having to constantly restart the Home app. And, while you're at it, stop having your iPod mini tell me to switch to my iPhone app to open a damn door WHEN I AM TALKING INTO MY iPHONE AND SIRI HAS ACKNOWLEDGED THAT I'M SPEAKING TO IT THERE!

But the thing that happened today which compelled me to write this post?

Microsoft.

Who else? They have a long, long legacy of bullshit.

So there I was logging in to a shared drive on Microsoft servers when I get a message that I need to authorize access with the Microsoft Authenticator app. Authenticating is normal now, alas, and many companies are doing it to curb piracy. Adobe apps are all authenticated with their app, for example.

But unlike Adobe, where my Apple Watch will display buttons to allow or reject access... Microsoft has only ONE button after asking you to approve sign-in: Dismiss.

What the entire fuck?

Why even bother to have Apple Watch services if they aren't worth a shit? If I am going to have to open my iPhone to authenticate, fine, but leave my watch the hell out of it. Why pester me with a question that's impossible to answer?

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

How are Microsoft developers, who obviously know what they coded into the app, looking at this stupid bullshit and saying "Yep! That's the way we want it to work!"

The future may be now, but the technology of the future sucks.

   
UPDATE: Right on queue, Marques has some thoughts...

It's beyond shitty how Apple has degenerated to its current state. I can't fathom this kind of bullshit happening when Steve Jobs was running the company.

With the advent of the iPhone 16 (non-Pro version), Apple put the two lenses parallel to each other instead of on a diagonal so you can shoot spatial photos. Like your two eyes (assuming you have two functional eyeballs), shooting with two lenses spaced apart can add depth information to what you see (or photograph). Sure, the two lenses on the iPhone aren't spaced as far apart as your eyes, but it's still enough spacing to create a stereo image thanks to the iPhone's LiDAR depth sensor which can build a depth map.

The iPhone Pro has had parallel lenses for a while, but until the new 16 Pro, you've only been able to shoot spatial video. Now you can shoot spatial photos as well. These photos are meant to be displayed on Apple's astronomically expensive $3,500 Vision Pro.

Apple gives you no way of viewing spatial images on your iPhone. So if you don't have a Vision Pro, the only way I know to view the 3D image is, unbelievably, to post them to Facebook because they have had the ability to create 3D images for a while. It's just that iPhone's LiDAR depth data makes them better than usual since depth doesn't have to be interpreted.

But having to go through FACEBOOK?!? This is really fucking shitty of Apple.

They could easily build 3D viewing into iPhone's Photos app... drag your finger on the screen to change the angle... or pivot your iPhone to change the angle. It's about the biggest no-brainer there is, but nope. Apple demands you spend $3,500 additional in order to view what you shot on your iPhone.

So what I did to share them here is take some test shots of my cats, upload them to Facebook, then screen record my mouse changing the angle to see the 3D effect of the spatial images.

The result is very good (no thanks to Apple). When you play this shot of Jake showing off his junk, note how his foot in the air and the folds in the blanket have really good separation...

This shot of Jake is both impressive and a big ol' mess at the same time. The LiDAR sensor didn't register his whiskers, so they are merged with the background and look nuts. But the rest of him? How cool is this?

Shame about the whiskers. Maybe in the future Apple will add an improved LiDAR sensor to pick up smaller details. I wonder if there's a way to manually edit the depth map so I could paint the whiskers back in? Something I should look into...

Do I want an AppleVision Pro so I can see my spatial photos in real 3D? Of course I do. But do I have $3,500 to spend on one? No I do not. Hence Facebook. My guess is that Apple will eventually release an AppleVision (minus the Pro) which is actually affordable. Until then I'm hoping that Apple (or a third party) will at least give us a way of looking at the 3D images on our iPhone somehow. It's fucking embarrassing that Apple hasn't done something already.

Though given some of the curious decisions they made with my new iPhone 16 Pro Max, that's pretty much Apple in a nutshell.

I don't have the money to buy a new iPhone Pro outright. They're $1000 minimum. Which is why I just lease my iPhone from Apple's "iPhone Upgrade Program." It's a known expense every month that I budget for, so I always upgrade when a new model comes out because the monthly cost is the same. This way I don't have to stress over my phone getting older and breaking or losing its value. I did it yet again this year.

Welcome to the new iPhone 16 Pro...

The tl;dr version is this: Unless you are a part of the iPhone Upgrade Program and don't mind being trapped in an eternal lease, I would not upgrade from the 15 Pro or 14 Pro unless you are after a very specific feature that's been upgraded. The general differences between these models are just so minor in the grand scheme of things. I'm betting most people will not be affected all that much. If you have an 13 Pro or earlier then, in my opinion, there's enough to make the jump (especially if you're in it for the camera). — The big new features for 16 Pro are "Camera Control" which is kinda a bust, a new 48MP Ultra-Wide lens which is nice but not essential, and "Tone Photographic Style" which is actually a fix for the shitty over-processing that iPhone keeps forcing on their users.

And here we go...

iPhone 16 PRO PROS

ULTRA-WIDE. Apple finally increased the megapixels on my favorite lens... the ultra-wide, taking it from 12MP to 48MP. It seems to help most with macro shooting more than wide-angle photos. The only thing left to go 48MP is the 5X lens, which desperately needs to be better, but is still languishing in 12MP. Because? 48MP is nice! Especially when you warm the tone and shift the flatness out...

iPhone 15 Pro Max Macro Lens

iPhone 16 Pro Max Macro Lens

iPhone 15 Pro Max Macro Lens — Zoomed

iPhone 16 Pro Max Macro Lens — Zoomed

iPhone 15 Pro Max Macro Lens

iPhone 16 Pro Max Macro Lens

TONE & STYLE. I'm just putting this out there... I fucking hate the Camera app in the 15 Pro Max. It shoots over-processed, boring, flat, shitty photos. There's no depth in the shadows. So there's no pop or subtlety to the images. Everything has an appearance that approaches cell-shaded. And, guess what, the default photos you get out of the 16 Pro Max are fucking worse. The difference is that you have the ability to set an "undertone look" which can offset this flat, boring, shitty, awful default. This photo I shared of Jake on Caturday had the highlights dialed back a bit in the Photos app, but that's the only adjustment I felt I had to make because it looked darn good right out of the camera...

The rich warmth comes from slightly leaning into the "Amber" style... but you can see that I also drop out of the horrific fucking blown out shadows by lowering the tone a bit so there was some actual depth...

I realize that if I don't like the iPhone's Camera app that there are dozens of others I could use. And I own a lot of them. But the convenience of the default app is too handy to ignore... especially now that you can do something to improve how it shoots. I'm not saying Apple redeemed themselves with the new camera because they still have shitty defaults that most people will never change, but at least there's a way out if you're aware it exists and figure out how to use it. And, as a bonus, you can apply/adjust the undertone settings after the photo has been taken! Nifty!

THE DISPLAY. It's aces. It was aces last time. I find it bizarre that the non-Pro models are still 60Mhz, but the Pro has a buttery-smooth 120Mhz that looks incredible. Thanks to the smaller bezels (and slightly larger size) you get a few more pixels too. The 16 Pro Max has 2868 × 1320 pixels vs. the 15 Pro Max 2796 × 1290.

MICROPHONES. The new microphone array is not being overhyped. It really does make a difference.

4K 120FPS. The fact that a frickin' phone can shoot 4K video at 120 frames per second is mind-blowing. Usually you have to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a RED Cinema camera to get stuff like that. Assuming you have an external high-speed drive attached to hold the massive file sizes it requires. Apparently Danny Boyle is shooting his new 28 Years Later movie on an iPhone 15 Pro Max, and I'll bet it will look great... even though he will undoubtedly be slapping on a lot of additional tech to his phone. Wonder what people will do with the iPhone 16 Pro?

BATTERY. Before my 16 arrived, I logged a Saturday with my 15 doing common tasks with plenty of video watching, app using, and photo-taking. Then I repeated that day with the 16 as closely as I could. Apple did not lie. I was already very pleased with the battery life, but it looks like I would get an extra 40 minutes (with plenty left on both phones) on the newer model. This will be very cool if I have to travel somewhere, because that's when I use the most battery.

PERFORMANCE. For years the iPhone's CPU/GPU performance has been more than adequate. And yet it keeps getting faster and more capable anyway. It's a good thing because it allows the photo processing to keep getting better. The fact that this benefits intensive apps (like some games) is just the icing on the cake.

iPhone 16 PRO CONS

CAMERA WEIRDNESS. In most ways the camera is the same as 15 Pro Max. In some ways the camera is better than 15 Pro Max (like the new Ultra-Wide), but in some ways it's strangely worse. This may be a settings issue that I have to work out, but it's frustrating to take a photo on the 15 and have it look perfectly fine, then take the same exact shot with the 16 and have it blown out in the highlights or isn't as defined. Where's that coming from? No idea. Fortunately, it's not common, but it's common enough to be irritating. I hope this is a software issue that can be rectified.

THE SIZE. I started buying the "Pro Max" because it was the only way to get the best camera. But now both Pro models get the same camera spread, so I was very close to going back to the "no-Max" size because Apple made the Max model larger than it used to be. And it's like WHY?!?. My God... you sell fucking iPads, stop turning your iPhones into iPads. Yes, the size increase is small, but it's still an increase.

CAMERA CONTROL. The feature I was most excited to get is the new "Camera Control" (AKA the "not-a-button button"). And while the idea is good, the implementation is awful. It looks like Apple tried to position the control in a spot that is supposed to be accessible to both landscape and portrait shooters. In doing so, it's fucking terribly positioned for both. They should have just picked one (landscape, obviously) and put it where you naturally want to position your finger instead of having to stretch across the screen in a weird way to reach it. In addition, the half-press access to the actual "controls" of "Camera Control" is janky as hell. I've tried to get used to it, but it's unwieldily and strange. It actually screws up my shots sometimes because it activates when I didn't intend it to, and the action of pressing it to take a photo is so odd that I end up moving the camera while trying to press down, thus un-framing my shot. I've adjusted the pressure and dwell sensitivity in the "Accessibility Settings" and I'm really hoping that I can get the hang of it. Because... yikes. Did ANYBODY use this fucking thing before they slapped it on their phone?!? I'm seriously wondering if I'm going to end up turning this not-a-button off so I don't have to worry about accidentally fucking up the settings on my shots. I sure hope Apple adjusts this in software soon, because in reality it's nothing like what they advertise, at last not for me...

AI MISSING. This phone's entire reason for being is AI. Apple has literally said that it's "Built from the ground up for Apple Intelligence." So where is it? Nowhere. The brand new iPhones aren't shipping with it. Sure you can install betas and developer betas to get it (like I have), but it's profoundly stupid to ship the new model without its hallmark feature. This is once again a company caring more about a date on the calendar than customer experience. Apple, who has more money than God, should seriously reevaluate how they're operating. Because this "It's coming, I promise!" bullshit in tech is getting old.

THE COLORWAYS. It's so FUCKING stupid how the cheaper iPhones always get the nicer colorways. I don't know how it was decided that getting extra features means getting stuck with these shitty, drab, morose, ugly colors... but here we are. I picked "Black Titanium" because it was the least shitty. And the cases Apple sells mostly follow suit. At least this year we get a bright yellow and a nice "ultramarine" case for the Pro models which let you pretend you don't have a boring-ass phone. I am sick to fucking death of Apple's "Pro" aesthetic, and wish they would get the fuck over themselves and give us at least ONE bright, fun color each year. Instead we get "desert"... Good Lord. For the second time we don't get a Product (RED) version in the non-Pro iPhone (we've never been given a Pro version ever). And no (RED) case again this year for any model. I'm guessing Apple has given up on it, since there's no (RED) Apple Watch this year either.

THE PRICE. Let's face it, the iPhone Pro models are insanely expensive. I honestly don't know that they're worth it when you can get a model from two years early for less money that's going to still be very good. This year things are even more confusing because the non-Pro models are not as far away from the Pro models. Both have an Action Button now. Shockingly, they both got the Camera Control feature as well. As if that wasn't enough, base iPhones leapfrogged a generation of Apple Silicon and are now at A18 chips which is more on parity with A18 Pro, when previous years were always a generation behind. No idea what Apple is thinking on that. My guess is that they are trying to make base models better so they can better compete with equivalent Android phones. But they're starting to compete with the Pro models as well. With better colors.

   
And there's my 2¢ on my new iPhone. I'm now very curious to know what they're going to do for the 17 Pro models to keep things moving forward. At this point I think the only thing that could push me to upgrade would be a 48MP 5× telephoto lens. Or a 4th camera that's a 10× or 15× lens, though going handheld with that would be tricky. Another thing that might convince me to upgrade? A FUCKING PRO COLORWAY THAT ISN'T SHITTY AND BORING!

A second entry today as I live-react to the Apple Keynote "Glowtime" which was unleashed this morning (except I had to work so I am reacting after). No worries though... there's still some more Disney entries in the queue to finish out through Friday, but I didn't feel like waiting until next week when this entry is ready to go.

• Apple Watch 10: I’ve been begging for a thinner, lighter Apple Watch since Day One. So the Apple Watch 10 is right up my alley...

Except the blood oxygen tracking has been turned off because of the patent dispute mess Apple is in? I guess? I’d gladly upgrade, but not if this essential features are missing since that's a huge indicator of COVID infection. And also? Your color choices are Black, Silver, and Rose Gold. No Product(RED) color this time around. And look at these shitty, boring Sport Band colors! Holy crap what a morose and boring selection...

No thanks. I'll be sticking with my beautiful Product(RED) watch with the classy Product(RED) band. What a boring-ass design direction Apple is on. I hope this isn't a trend for the rest of the keynote, but I know better.

• Apple Watch Ultra 2: The version in black is gorgeous. And that titanium loop band is incredible. But the massive size of the thing (along with the heinous price) guarantees I’ll never be a customer.

• AirPods 4: I love my AirPods and use them all the time. All it took for me to upgrade from the originals (which I hated because they kept falling out) was the soft cushion cups in variable sizes that you get with the “Pro” model. And here we are again with the slippery hard plastic bullshit. I don’t give a shit how many ears that Apple “scanned” I will never buy any model which doesn’t have interchangeable soft cups to keep them in place.

• AirPods Max: I tried them. They were so fucking heavy and uncomfortable that I stuck with my Beats Pro (which would no longer charge after less than two years). Rather than addressing the comfort problem (and that absurdly stupid purse case), Apple just released new colors and updated the charging port to USB-C? WHAT THE FUCK?!?

• AirPods Pro: Oh boy. Health features. “Hearing Protection” is nice, but it shouldn’t take the place of proper protection, and I’m shocked Apple didn’t mention that AT ALL. — “Hearing Test” is a great idea though. Bravo. Though I have to wonder how accurate it is. Maybe it doesn't have to be, and is just accurate enough to let you know if you should seek help? — “Hearing Aid” is nice for people who need it, sure. But it seems profoundly weird that people would actually use these as hearing aids as shown in the keynote. Better to say that if you are already using your AirPods Pro, the hearing aid feature can help. I am confused if these are actually upgraded hardware... or if it’s just a new feature added to old models, which is what it sounds like? Dang does Apple need to pass these keynotes by a third-party to make sure they are understandable.

• iPhone 16: Everybody knew that "Apple Intelligence" (Apple's version of AI) would be a huge deal for future iPhone models, and here we are. And these non-Pro colors are absolutely gorgeous...

I am wondering for the millionth time why Pro customers don’t get colors like this? — The customizable “Action Button" has been a detriment to my iPhone Pro experience due to its placement. I keep hitting it when I think I’m pressing the volume-up button, because it's been in the top spot since forever. Apple put this button in a shitty fucking spot, and I wish they would have resolved that. But NOPE! Because this is Apple we're talking about. They stuck with that shitty fucking butterfly keyboard on MacBooks even after people complained and it wasn't until they started losing sales that they finally did something about that. — LOL! The new A18 chip name skips over A17 (which was used in the previous 15 Pro models) because marketing is dumb. — The display is still 60Hz? In the Year of Our Lord 2024?!? That is so frickin' embarrassing in a phone this expensive. It's the biggest flaw in an otherwise excellent phone.

• Apple Intelligence: ZOMG! CRAIG! WE LOVE YOU, CRAIG! I am leery of AI, including the Apple-branded "Apple Intelligence.” I think so much of it has been developed and utilized in ways that are pretty shitty. That being said, it sounds like Apple is going to at least try to protect your privacy and have some personalized features which rely on the Apple Ecosystem to be useful. I will likely not be using AI for my writing though. At least not initially. I’d rather something come from me rather than a computer interpreting me. I do like the idea of using AI to help sort through my bazillion photos to find what I am looking for though. That is a useful and smart implementation of AI. As is the summarization of an email in the message preview, which is very useful given that most people have no idea how to get to the fucking point. — Siri has been stupid for far, far too long, so it’s nice that it looks like the tech will be worthwhile now (hopefully it will spill over into Apple's HomeKit crap). — The "Visual Intelligence” demo to get info on stuff you see looks amazing, though I laughed my ass off when the guy ASKED FOR PERMISSION to take a photo of that dog, which is more than AI companies do! They don’t generally give a shit about permission, and just take whatever they want! — I am not commenting about “Genmojis" because I’m embarrassed to admit how often I will use this feature. — Not that any of this matters. None of this will be available until October sometime. Why Apple didn't delay their big AI-laden phone until the AI is actually available is likely due to hitting a calendar ship date to make shareholders happy. Screw the customers... it's the shareholders that matter. A strategy that worked awesome for Sonos!

• Camera Control: Absolutely shocking that non-Pro customers are getting this without having to wait a year like they usually do for Pro features. Anyway... I am one of those people who uses my iPhone for photos more than anything else. Making/receiving actual phone calls is WAY down on the list. So of course I’m always thrilled when new camera features are added. The new “Camera Control” has been a long time coming. Apple is taking ideas from DSLRs and I am totally here for it. This is an absolute game-changer for people who want more control when taking photos, but are tired of missing shots because you have to open a bunch of crappy menus to get to what you need.

• iOS 18: Messages via Satellite is intriguing to me. But I am not hearing about how much it costs? It used to be free with the purchase of an iPhone, but it always sounded like they would charge after a year unless you got a new iPhone. No mention of this?

• iPhone 16 Pro: Yep. There’s the "Camera Control" button. Nice. — Larger more durable display. Nice. — AND HERE WE ARE... boring, dead, shitty colors. Yet again...

Faded Black, Snot Smear, Dingy White, and Unhealthy Urine Stain. Exactly what I've come to expect. Not even a "Forest Green" or "Dark Blue" this time. And of course no vivid or saturated colors that I'd want. This is so fucking disappointing year after year after YEAR. The good colors are only ever available on the cheaper phones. What the fuck is the thinking on this? People who pay more money for their phone don't deserve nice colorways? — HA! Only a 15% speed bump over the phone I have now? Ummm... wow. At least it’s using 20% less battery for the 15% performance bump that I'll never notice, so that’s something, I guess? — But, hey, faster AI performance. I guess that's what Apple thinks is a priority now.

• iPhone 16 Pro Photography Extras: The ultra-wide-angle/macro camera is better, but it remains to be seen if that translates to photos which are actually better. So many times Apple professes that the new hardware will make for better photos, but you just don’t see it in real-world use, only in specific situations and conditions. Apparently the sensor reads are faster to reduce lag as well. No mention about any improvement to low-light photography. No mention about the selfie-camera. No mention about any fusion photo upgrades (except what will naturally come out of a slightly faster processor). — I do very much like the new real-time color-grading, which will help me make good decisions when composing a shot. And it sounds like you can apply this after the fact, which is awesome. — The video features are all great, but I don't shoot much video, so I likely won't benefit from these cool new features (including the awesome "Cinematic SlowMo")... especially the fact that you can adjust the speed after you shoot! Nice! — The audio recording improvements will likewise be lost on me, but I guess it's good to have that in those rare instances I shoot video.

• The Weeknd!: These real-world use cases that Apple unloads almost never apply to everyday iPhone users given the expensive gear that's needed on top of the high cost of the iPhone Pro needed to actually do this, but it's so great to see what is possible. Especially with this banger track from The Weeknd!

• MagSafe: Ooh! Looks like Apple users are finally getting a MagSafe speed bump that might be on-par with what other phones have had for a while now! Which is nice if I ever needed, but I always charge my iPhone overnight and the newer models have such good battery life that I don't worry about it. I often get messages that my phone isn't charging at full speed to help the battery because it knows I just leave it on the charger all night.

• Case Study: I've never had a third-party case work as well as what I can get from Apple so I don't even bother any more. And the addition of Camera Control almost guarantees that third-party will continue to be worse than anything you get from Apple. Fortunately we're at least getting three options that aren't total drab, boring, morose shit...

I will probably end up with "Ultramarine" because the yellow is not even a touch golden. Which is a shame, because a golden yellow case has always been one of my favorites...

Maybe I'll look at the case at an Apple Store to see if it's a little more golden than it appears on their site. Assuming I bother using the iPhone Upgrade Program to trade up. This may be the year I hold onto my phone a year and get to actually own it come September 2025! Depends on the use-case of the camera... because I likely won't bother unless the photos are better and "Apple Intelligence" is pitifully slow on my iPhone 15 Pro Max.

• Project(NOT-RED): I have to say... I am beyond disappointed that Apple seems to have ended their partnership with Project(RED). No (RED) Watches or Bands. No (RED) iPhones or Cases. No (RED) anything? Maybe Apple doesn't care about fighting AIDS any more? Maybe they will start to care if people start dying from it all over again because the cost of treatment keeps exploding and newer generations aren't taking good precautionary measures to not contract it?

And that's a wrap. Interesting, but nothing so essential that I am dying to upgrade. Especially given the color situation. Good Lord is Apple shoveling colorways that are even worse than they usually are! Nothing (RED) or even bright and hopeful is available for any product I would be interested in! Booo! BOOOOO, APPLE!

Happy WWDC to all who celebrate!

And lo did Apple descend from the heavens to bestow upon all of us the glory that is World Wide Developer Conference 2024! As usual, I will be jotting down my thoughts as the keynote progresses.

UPDATE: Somebody compiled Craig being Craig and it's perfect. Except they didn't show the part with his Daily Hair Journal...

Vision OS

• Cool story, bro. If $3,500 drops in my lap so I can buy one, I'll get excited. I do like that camera manufacturers are bringing 3D lenses to their cameras though.

iOS

• Craig is my favorite Apple spokesperson at these things.
• Control Center has always been useful... it's nice to see that they're adding some important functionality. Being able to get to Home controls so easily is going to save time and frustration.
• Being able to manually arrange my home screen is a plus. But the last thing I want to spend time on is customizing icons and whatnot. Nice it's there for people who want it, and Apple does make it look quick and easy, so maybe?
• App protection is cool beans. Less likely to worry about handing my phone over to somebody if I know that the sensitive information on it is better protected. Not that I hand my phone over to people on the regular, but it does happen. I suspect that people cheating on their spouses will be particularly happy about being able to hide specific apps so they are not immediately visible!
• More formatting options in Messages is nice. Most people I know don't use formatting at all, but I definitely do all the time, so happy birthday to me, I guess. And did Craig just verify that RCS is happening so that Android owners will stop being Big Mad? But it's likely more important to them that they don't get green-bubbled. Though I seriously doubt Apple will go that far. They know what an exclusivity boost blue bubbles are for iPhone users.
• Messages via Satellite is interesting. But do you have to pay to use it? Or is it like SOS which is free for two years after you buy an iPhone? Given that my new carrier, Verizon, is absolute shit for signal, I'd actually have use for this if it were free. Interesting to note that I know somebody personally who has used the SOS feature to get rescued. That's a game-changer right there.
• Trail Maps is cool, but seems as though it's an unnecessary add-on given how the people needing things like this are already using something like All Trails which has additional features beyond maps.
• Tap to Cash is a great idea... assuming that the person you want to pay uses Apple Cash. So few people I know have it because Venmo is easier to set up and use. If Apple wants to make Apple Cash be more pervasive, they really need to take a look at getting it set up with people.
• Photos is such an important app, and yet it's kinda bad if you have a lot of images. Fortunately Apple has shown the app some love so searching is much easier. I love how she said Amazing Intelligence... AI... so it's AI without saying AI. LOL. The app looks great, but until I use it I honestly won't know if it's going to be that big of a help compared to where we were.
• LARGER ICONS ON THE HOME SCREEN?!? It's like they knew I need this after my eye surgery! Thanks, Craig!

iPods

• Okay... the head shakes to answer Siri in your headphones is glorious. That's smart thinking! But the noise isolation is going to be the real party trick. I hope it's as good as they make it out to be.

TV OS

• InSight... very handy and clever. I am definitely one of those people who is constantly wondering "Where have I seen this actor before?" so I feel seen.
• Audio improvements are always welcome.
• FUCK!! ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IMPROVEMENT FOR THE HORRENDOUSLY SHITTY APPLE TV USER INTERFACE?!? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK, APPLE?!?

Watch OS

• The Vitals app goes beyond the sleep app I am currently using, so I am fully onboard for this. I have to say, it's so nice to see that Apple is really invested to helping people being more proactive about staying healthy like this.

iPad OS

• Look, all these new bells and whistles are nice and all (the handwriting Smart Script feature is incredible), but it is categorically absurd that they have done absolutely nothing to address the stupid shortcoming when it comes to file-handling, lack of background tasks, and multitasking. My God. Again, if Apple is going to intentionally nerf the iPad because they don't want it cutting into MacBook sales, they should just shut down iPad and move on. This is fucking ridiculous. Fully configured iPads cost more than a MacBook!

MacOS Sequoia

• Craig going all PARKOUR! PARKOUR! is why everybody loves Craig.
• The new iPhone Mirroring control of your iPhone on MacOS X is fantastic. So incredibly handy. Not having to constantly grab my iPhone for stuff when working on my Mac is going to be so nice.
• No need for a 3rd party app to control screen positioning is handy. But not for the developers of those apps.
• Safari is such a mixed blessing. When it works as intended, it's my favorite browser. But constantly running across incompatibilities is really fucking annoying. I really wish that Apple would pause the "improvements" and focus on compatibility for a minute!
• I, for one, welcome our new Safari Password overlords. That's something that should be built into Safari. Ever since 1Password went the subscription model, I don't care whether it lives or dies, and this is pretty much signing off on its death warrant.
• Gaming is such a hard sell for the Mac, so it's understandable that Apple would want to keep improving tools to port new games to their platforms. But until there's a cheap television console available for advanced gaming, I think that many developers are going to continue to skip out. You'd think it's a no-brainer for Apple to do this. A Mac mini retool would be so easy. Not sure why this hasn't been a priority.

A.I. Apple Intelligence

And here we go. The thing that everybody has been waiting for...

• LOL. Leave it to Apple to address the things that the Humane AI Pin and Rabbit R1 promised but didn't deliver, i.e. integrating AI with a personal context that's already defined within the Apple ecosystem. No having to add a bunch of data to get useful AI is why platforms like Apple and Google will succeed where others will struggle. Plus... no need to carry around a second device? Sign me up!
• Privacy is a big Apple flex, and the fact that they have been working on hardware which allows localized AI processing (AKA "Neural Engine") for years just proves that they have been working on AI for quite a while. For external AI needs, the anonymized "Private Cloud Compute" seems like an ideal situation. That Apple allows the code to be inspected by 3rd parties to verify privacy is how it should work.
• Siri has been a pile of stupid almost since its inception. And Apple hasn't done a damn thing to improve it, favoring instead to add features that don't address the base problem while Google Assistant eats their lunch. And now? Finally... finally... Apple has actually added smarts to actually have a smart assistant.
• BWAH HA HA HAAAA! Type to Siri is shots fired to Humane's AI Pin. But, seriously, I still don't understand how people could rationally believe that voice instructions should be the only way to interact with a device. If you're in a meeting, that's almost impossible. Humane AI Pin was doomed from the start, and the fact that there are people surprised at this (mostly at Humane, I'm betting) just blows my mind.
• Apple's demos of the new Siri is exactly what everybody has been wanting since Star Trek debuted. True voice control and interaction with a smart device has been a pipe dream until recently, when it's becoming reality.
• Apple kept reiterating the privacy controls, because it can be genuinely scary to think about Siri having such intimate knowledge of who you are and everything you do. I still don't know if I should be excited or worried. But I have to say I'm less worried with Apple's assurances of on-device processing, privacy, and 3rd party inspection of the code which makes it all work.
• I never, ever use Siri on Mac. It's just so fucking useless. But apparently that's a thing of the past, which actually is exciting.
• More demos. Rewrite being able to adjust the tone of your emails is something that will be very interesting to see. I always think that things like this will present people not as who they are, but who they want to be. Is this a good thing? I really don't think so. I'd rather interact with people exactly for who they are... warts and all... rather than have everybody I know sound like a machine.
• Smart Reply in email is lovely. Being able to write out replies to inane emails without having to actually write anything is something I will very much be happy to have.
• Apple Intelligence just making all the little everyday things easier and less work is where AI is really going to be felt. That's the promise of AI fulfilled. Until AI takes over the earth and eradicates all humans, of course.
• Genmoji is hysterical. But looks oddly useful. But will things like this make us more effective at communicating ourselves... or less? Is our future not words but strings of emojis? Maybe. And I, for one, will not be decrying the death of language if accommodations can be made for cultural differences which could result in a serious, serious problem. Different peoples of the world attach different meaning to visual cues. I imagine this will be an ever-evolving transition of expression. The way that the "high-five" emoji has evolved to be "praying hands" emoji which is often used to express gratitude in many places on earth.
• Image Playground is cute. Being able to create an AI image to convey a feeling or situation is nice. Especially if you can't draw well. Though I hope that Apple's implementation is compensating those artists whose work has been used to train it. We may never know.
• Image Wand interprets rough drawings and photos to allow redrawing and touchup with zero effort. This is a mixed blessing. Bringing tools once only used by professionals to everybody... but at the cost of jobs by those professionals? If I were still in that line of work, I know I'd be worried. Will companies even bother with artists now that Generative AI can steal their art to reimagine it as whatever they want? God I hope not. But here we are.
• Then Craig says and that's not all! and promises that these few examples are just the beginning of "AI for The Rest of Us." And I believe it. By allowing integration with OpenAI's ChatGPT services, which are at the forefront of AI development, Apple doesn't have to worry about falling behind. It's genius, I suppose. Though I'd imagine it's going to cost Apple a metric fuckton of money to make it happen. Good thing that money is the one thing Apple doesn't have to worry about.

So... out of my Top Five Most Needed Things to Come Out of WWDC 2024, Apple managed to check one of them. My #2 ask. Oh well. That's so very Apple that I wouldn't imagine it having gone any other way.

Overall I'm excited to see how AI being integrated to seamlessly into our lives is going to change the world. For better? For worse? Time will tell. At which point it will be too late to do anything about it one way or the other.

UPDATE: There's buzz out of WWDC that we will finally be able to specify which device we want to use as a "Home Hub." Color me fucking shocked. Of course I'm going to specify my hardwired via Ethernet AppleTV that's connected to my main television. Since Apple's shitty fucking software can't figure out that's the best bet on its own. So damn embarrassing. So, yeah, I guess I'm giving Apple a half-point for that (doesn't seem like there's any other much-needed improvements happening, but maybe?).

For only the third time in my life, I've changed my mobile company.

I've considered it many, many times, but the effort to switch over something I don't care that much about was never worth it to me. If I can make calls and access the internet, I'm good. But eventually the reasons to switch are far more than the reasons to not switch, so here we are.

My first cellular carrier was Verizon. I liked everything about them and stuck with the company for a little over a decade. Right up until the Summer of 2007. And why did I switch from a mobile carrier that I had been so loyal to? The first iPhone was released, and it was exclusive to AT&T. Had Verizon been able to sell me an iPhone, I would have stayed.

Switching to AT&T was okay. I didn't love them. I didn't hate them. I just went along with them out of sheer momentum for nearly fourteen years. Their coverage was never as good as I had with Verizon, but it was good enough. What was horrific about AT&T was their billing. I have no fucking idea why it was so shitty, but in my last four years it kept building and building until I couldn't take it any more. After I changed plans I spent hours on the phone trying to get my bill straightened out. It never worked. The next month I'd just have to start all over again. The minute I was eligible for T-Mobile's Magenta 55+ plan, I bailed.

The nice thing about T-Mobile was the price. $50 a month. Total. Taxes and fees included. But that price came at a cost... 1) The signal was terrible so many places despite the fact that my handset was showing good bars and 5G. 2) They discriminate against single people, because single-line customers didn't get the perks (like free Netflix) that multi-line customers get, even though single-line customers pay more per line than anybody! 3) They keep changing the game from when I signed up. First I couldn't pay with a credit card any more or they'd take away my auto-pay discount, then they decided to raise the price $5 a month. With no perks, poor quality service, and a price increase, I was done.

And now I've come full circle. I'm back to Verizon. I was going to go with a pre-paid plan just to get the best price, but ultimately went with a regular phone plan because... GET THIS: VERIZON DOESN'T DISCRIMINATE AGAINST SINGLE PEOPLE! Single-line subscribers get all the perks that multi-line subscribers get! So when I factored in an auto-pay discount, a bring-your-own-phone discount, plus the money I would save on stuff I was already paying for by taking advantage of the choose-your-own-perks, I would be paying the same $55 that T-Mobile was charging. Except taxes and fees were not included, so I am paying $8 more. But I was willing to pay it to get Verizon's better service... and to support the fact that VERIZON DOESN'T DISCRIMINATE AGAINST SINGLE PEOPLE! Interesting to note that when I take advantage of other perk savings that are available when my current subscriptions lapse, I can likely recoup the $8, and maybe more...

In three years my "bring your own phone" discount will end. I don't know if Verizon will make an offer to keep me... or if I'll have to switch again... but I think I'm to the point where I'd rather switch for a fourth time than pay more for what I was already getting, so maybe I'll jump to a pre-paid plan then. Or switch carriers. Or give up on a mobile phone altogether.

You can do that, can't you?

I'm too tired to blog. It's been a very tiring day. But there truly is no rest for the wicked... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• A Mystery! Given the fact that you can find just about anything knowable on the internet, it always fascinates me when the internet gets stumped. Because, though rare, it does happen. This video is about one of those times. It's a song. And, I'm just going to put this out there, it's a song I really like. Fair warning though, this is not a video you can start and walk away from because it just gets stranger and more compelling the longer it goes on...

Awesome. I mean... frustrating for everybody involved, of course... but still awesome.

   
• PIVOT! It's so rare that I get to use my name being similar to the Friends actor, David Schwimmer, as a joke, but here we are...

Now, honestly, I have been trying speak from a place of kindness more and more because there's enough hostility in the world... but Kirk Cameron kinda crosses a line for me. His whole "Way of The Master" idiocy where he "proved" the existence of God with a fucking banana... WRONGLY (the modern banana was cultivated by man, and bears very little relationship to the natural "banana" that God gave us)... was just proof that he'll exploit peoples' faith for money, which is pretty shitty. The fact that he's a raging homophobic bigot is just the icing on the fucking cake. Kirk Cameron can fuck ALL the way off with his bullshit, and I'll save my kindness for times when it will actually do some good.

   
• Rory! I did not know that Rory Scovel had a new special out! Guess what I'll be watching when I get home tomorrow after work tomorrow?

Yeah. This. I'll be watching this.

   
• QUIET! Ever since Apple got rid of the physical mute switch, I get calls ringing through EVEN IF I AM IN SILENT MODE. And of course searching through loads of antiquated Apple documentation does nothing to help resolve this. It sucks how something as simple as DO NOT DISTURB doesn't fucking work...

Every damn day it's something new.

   
• Prē! This video is pretty great. I hated the Palm phones but really loved WebOS. Fortunately, a lot of what I like transitioned over to iPhone (even if it took a while to get there)...

I find it remarkable that a whole lot of people have no idea these phones existed.

   
• White! Betty is one of the funniest people who ever lived. Nobody dropped a line like she did. This zinger is everything...

And it's the way she delivers it that makes it so hilarious.

   
• Grandma! To end this on a positive... this is genuinely sweet, no matter how you feel about Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter...

Grandmas are grandmas the world 'round.

   
And off I go to take a nap. Cannot tell you how happy I am that I actually have that option right now.

As I mentioned in my post about the Apple "Scary Fast" event that dropped Monday, the entire thing was shot on an iPhone.

This week there has been a bizarre controversy over that statement. Almost immediately afterwards people were saying "No way was that shot on an iPhone." Or even "Sure it was shot on an iPhone... with special external lenses." Or whatever.

But soon after the event Apple released a video with a behind the scenes look at how it was shot. Which was, in fact, an iPhone with no special external lenses...

And then everybody was like "Okay it was shot on an iPhone, but no normal person could shoot a video like this because Apple used special camera rigs and lights and stuff." But Apple didn't claim otherwise, so I don't get the controversy. Yeah, that motion rig is so expensive that I couldn't afford one (and those panel lights they used on Tim Cook aren't cheap either), but the phone is capable enough to do it if you do have that stuff. And if you don't? You can still get creative and shoot footage that's high enough quality you can do incredible things.

I haven't had time to shoot video on my iPhone 15 Pro Max yet. But I will when my special external lens gets here.

Because, unlike Apple, I fully intend on cheating.

Today I was much like a kid at Christmas given that my new Apple Watch Series 9 and iPhone 15 Pro Max arrived. It happened the morning I was hanging out with my friends, so I was anticipating the transfer from my old phone to be shit-butt city as we went bar-hopping and I was climbing on and off Wi-Fi all afternoon.

Turns out I had nothing to worry about. Unlike last year when I upgraded to the iPhone 14 Pro Max, everything went off without a hitch. Well, almost. There's one teeny tiny problem that's giving me fits, but I'll get to that.

Apple Watch Series 9

As I mentioned during the keynote, I had zero intention of upgrading my Apple Watch Series 6. There just doesn't seem to be anything worth upgrading for. Well, except having a new battery, since the one in my old watch would no longer last the day if I had the always-on display set to "on." Still. With the display off except for tap-to-wake, I easily made it through the day and it did everything I needed it to do.

What tipped the scales for me was the fact that Series 9 does most all Siri processing locally. Which means that simple requests aren't passing through the cellular radio on my iPhone for a round trip that causes a noticeable delay. And, sure enough, the Apple Watch is really quick with Siri requests, which makes the price of admission worth it for me (once you factor in the $115 that Apple will give me to trade in my old one).

But it turns out this isn't the best part of upgrading.

The display is not just brighter... it's bigger!

It's five o'clock somewhere...

I have to get the little watch since, as you can see, my arms are so thin. The Series 6 is 40mm. The Series 9 (in red) is 41mm. But there's also the fact that the display goes out further to the edges. Everything looks bigger. Very nice.

The double-finger-tap control works as advertised. Everything is very zippy. Fast and smooth. Overall, a good upgrade from where I was. I dunno if this is a worthy upgrade if you've got a Series 8, but for me it was a good choice.

iPhone 15 Pro Max

I gave serious consideration to skipping an upgrade for a year so I could own my iPhone 14 Pro Max outright. But ultimately I figured one of the benefits of being in the Apple Upgrade Program is getting the latest and greatest, so I caved. Mostly because I use it more as a camera than a phone and the 5× optical zoom lens plus claims of better night photos swayed me. Along with the fact that iPhones hold their value well... but not so great that I'm leaving loads of money on the table from what I can tell looking at the 13 Pro Max used market.

Camera aside, I honestly don't notice a big difference with the 15. Sure it's a touch lighter, but all the things I like are mostly the same and the one thing I hate (Apple's silicone cases do not stay attached like they used to) is also the same. It's fast. It's capable. It runs all my apps very well. The end. Maybe I'll buy a game that has ray-tracing to see how that looks. Stunning, I'm sure.

Setup was far, far better than the past two years. Pairing my new Apple Watch was seamless. Everything copied over just fine. The only problem I have is that my phone app shows a red badge notification with a "1" in it... even though there's no fucking notifications when I look everywhere in the app. I've restarted three times and shut it down once. No joy. I finally just turned off badge notifications. Hopefully Apple will fix this shit one of these days. UPDATE: Turned off my iPhone for 20 full minutes then restarted. That did the trick.

Other than that, my complaints are A) They don't have a (Product)RED silicone case for it... B) The new Action Button is a cool thing, but it's WAY up on the side, so it's only hand if you're holding your phone horizontally... and you can't customize it for double-click or triple-click, and... C) The blue that I got is pretty much black with a blue cast... in the right light. And it's like... what's the fucking point? You've already got a black phone. So why not make a bright red (Product)RED phone or something that will truly look bold and different? Why do Pro users always get fucked with these boring-ass "premium" color choices? Of course, I'll take these over the fucking PASTELS that the regular iPhone 15's got. Because yikes. Those look like total shit. Maybe I should have gone with Raw Titanium color to have something different? Meh. It doesn't bother me that much. It's just disappointing.

Lastly there's USB-C 3.2 Gen 2 which will allow you to transfer much, much faster than Lightning (480 megabytes per second vs. 10 gigabytes per second). If you've got the right cable. And it's about fucking time. Jesus. Apple puts these massive sensors in their cameras and allow shooting RAW, but it takes an eternity to get them off of it because the resulting files are huge. I didn't even bother to shoot RAW, because it can take days to get them all in your computer to actually work on them. I've got USB-C 3.2 cables, so maybe now I will. Thank you to the EU for mandating USB-C on all phones... otherwise Apple would probably stick with obsolete Lightning ports for years longer. The one thing I don't understand it why they didn't just go with Thunderbolt4 (100Gps) compatibility to really make it worthwhile. Guess they're saving that to get you to upgrade in the future? In any event, you can record ProRes 4K 60Hz video directly to an external SSD now, which is pretty special.

iPhone 15 Pro Max Camera

First a caveat on that spiffy new 5× lens. It needs good light to function. If you don't got that, it switches back to you main camera. This did not happen with the 3× lens on my old camera. At least not that I recall. This is a pretty big downgrade, if you ask me. It may very well be a deal breaker for some people who would rather have a 3× lens with more flexibility. As for me? I'm greedy. I wish we would have gotten both. Add a fourth lens on the Pro Max to get the best of both worlds! Or, ideally, give us a 3× and a 10×. UPDATE: If you want to force the camera to use the 5× lens in low light, some third party camera apps (like Halide) will let you.

That being said, when you've got some light it's very nice. This was shot in a bar with not great lighting, but look how good it turned out at 5×! Very sharp and the color is beautiful, despite the fact that we're very clearly entering HDR "Deep Fusion" territory here...

Click here to look at a bigger version.
Click here to see the full size version.

That's pretty impressive... but the main lens really looks great...

Click here to look at a bigger version.
Click here to see the full size version.

Interesting that Apple now calls the "Main Camera" the "Wide Camera" and the "Wide Camera the Ultra Wide Camera. Note that the "Wide Camera" has a goodly number of pixels more than the previous generation (but with bigger files, natch)...

Now... I have only had the camera for a tiny amount of time. I will obviously be taking more photos and a closer look at the features and quality sometime soon (especially when it comes to being able to change the focal point after the fact... because in playing around with it, this is a very cool feature). And of course I'll want to look at how well it shoots ProRes video (especially its ability to shoot LOG video that can be color graded easily and pushed in directions you can't get easily otherwise).

But last thing I want to say before I go is how Apple's claim that the new camera has "seven lenses" is not quite the bullshit it seems given that there's only three lenses on the back. The main lens allows you to use "virtual lenses" that crop into the data with common focal lengths (24mm, 28mm, and 35mm). But you still end up with 5712×4284 images, which means that Apple is upscaling or doing some kind of magic to get there. And the result is very good. I did the same thing in Photoshop to compare, and Apple's method always comes out on top. Which means that they must have specialized computational photography routines to come much closer than a mere crop.

Ultimately I don't know that going for the upgrade was the best choice for me. I likely could have gotten along with the 14 Pro Max for another year without issue. But as somebody who likes any improvement Apple will give me on the cameras, the 15 Pro Max will likely make me happier overall.

Until next year.