Since I'm a member of the Apple Developer Program thanks to interface design projects I was involved with years ago, I went ahead and installed the developer beta of iOS 27 on my iPhone (but not on any of my Macs, because I value my sanity).

The first thing I did... the very first thing... was to run to the settings and change the "Liquid Glass" interface to maximum opaqueness. Still not as good as a solid color, but the frosted appearance is a heck of a lot easier to read than what we previously had. I remain utterly dumbfounded that Apple, a pioneer in computer graphical interfaces, shipped something this fucking bad. Maybe it's because I have old, fucked-up eyes, but "Liquid Glass" is an abhorrent step backwards that is now tolerable. Kinda.

The next thing I did was say "Hey Siri... when is my next flight?" because I was psyched at the thought of Siri not being a brain-dead pile of shit for once. BUT NOPE!

Turns out that "New Siri" isn't on by default. I had to turn it on. At which point it said that I've been added to the waitlist. Which is to say that Siri will continue to be dumb as a box of fucking rocks for the foreseeable future...

That this extremely basic question requires "New Siri" in order to be answered is beyond the pale. Android has been able to do this mundane shit for years! But it gets worse. On my way home from work today, I asked Siri when the last day of school is. Siri blanked out. Realizing that Siri doesn't know where my fucking location is despite it being set up to know that, I re-asked the question but included my city and state. "I can search the internet when you're done driving" (or whatever). Infuriated, I asked why they have to wait for me to stop driving to search the internet. "I can search the internet for that when you're not in the car." I mean, holy fucking shit is Siri a complete waste of time! Apple has BILLIONS of dollars. They couldn't have spent a small fraction of that to make a capable voice assistant? I guess not. Which is why they're licensing technology from Google, of all places.

Something that threw me into shock was a massive decrease in battery life. I usually end the day with around 70% battery left. Less if I ended up playing games or taking a bunch of photos. But suffice to say that anything less than 50% is exceedingly rare for me. But after installing iOS 27? I am lucky to end my day with 10%. Now, this is a developer beta, so you would expect that there's extra stuff running to track bugs and monitor ho things are working. But this much battery life? Doubtful. If I had to guess, it's the indexing which is taking up most of the battery power...

If that's the case, Apple could do themselves a big favor and add that message to the indexing message.

One of the more intriguing new features (and one of the few things AI seems made for doing well) is to help you create shortcuts. I had no idea how smart the system would be, and just asked for a shortcut idea off the top of my head...

I was not expecting much. So you can imagine my total shock when I actually got exactly what I asked for...

Now, see, this right here is where I want my AI. This is fantastic! I will have to play with it further to see what it's limits are, but this is a game changer.

One of the new features I was interested in is the ability to see better 3D representations in Apple Maps. I love playing armchair traveler to places I have never been (and places I've been, for that matter) so the idea of it all was intriguing. Not that I expected my small city to get a fancier 3D representation... but I was expecting Seattle to have far better 3D. But nope. Everything is just as wonky as it has been. I guess it's going to take time to reach anything outside of San Francisco and New York...

When it comes to HomeKit HomeShit, my expectations are always in the basement. This is hands-down Apple's biggest reoccurring failure. It hasn't worked properly since Day One, and they've made zero attempts at improving it. I am having the same problems now that I've always had. And one of the biggest problems is my Automations disappearing at random. No reason for it... they just vanish. For example, I have a sensor on my garage door which turns the light on when triggered. The Automation for this disappeared a week ago. I also have an Automation which turns some lights on at night. This Automation didn't disappear a week ago, but a part of it did. My neon light all of a sudden stopped turning on, but all the other lights were operating normally. It's frustrating, because going back and fixing all this shit is time-consuming.

Well guess what? The night after installing iOS 27 Developer Beta, my neon started turning on with the other lights again! The garage is still fucked, but one thing that was broken seems to have healed itself. Heaven knows for how long, but it is offering a little bit of encouragement. As I suspected, my older Nest cameras are not compatible with any of the new camera improvements in HomeKit. Typical.

One thing which hasn't been touched is that the Mail unread message count badge is still fucked. If messages get deleted without being read on a different device, the iPhone displays the deleted messages as unread messages with the app icon badge. I honestly have no fucking clue why this can't be fixed. It's fucking embarrassing that this is still a problem in the Year of Our Lord 2026.

And now we come to Photos...

Even though we're talking about a mobile phone, 75% of what I do on my iPhone is take photos. Camera improvements are the only reason I buy new models of iPhone, because I don't care about anything else. The reason I didn't upgrade to the 17 Pro Max is because the camera was almost the same.

This time Apple added a bunch of AI tools to Photos and the result is a mixed bag. Let's walk through some of the things I tried.

The "extend" tool is remarkable. Better than the AI tools in Adobe Photoshop. What I think is going on is that the Google Gemini engine searches the internet to identify what's in your photo, then generates an extension around your image based on what it figures out. Take for example this photo I took in Italy...

I zoom out to extend it...

And vióla! A stunning job of adding the missing information around your photo...

I pulled back on this photo of me, which I selected because of the pattern on my shirt. I thought that might prove to be a challenge, but it did a remarkable job getting that sorted...

   
The new reframe tool works, to a very limited degree of "turning" but the results are a bit odd. There's some uncanny valley going on. This photo of my mom eating in Rome looks okay, but it screws up the angle in a way that feels bizarre. Especially in the eyes. The rotation wasn't very much, but she appears to be looking in an entirely different direction?

   
The next photo I tried got flagged as some kind of safety violation because it had a bare ass in it. Or so I'm guessing...

I have a lot more playing around to do with the Photos app before I can fully understand how it's going to benefit me. And I remain conflicted over the fact that Google's AI models were created based on untold numbers of photographers who weren't compensated for their work. Yes, these are my photos being changed, but the abilities being offered were partly stolen.

I understand that Apple's Image Playground app has been updated, but since there's absolutely no question that it's based on theft of photographers and artists, I won't be messing with it.

There's probably some other improvements that I'm missing, but these are the ones I was wanting to explore. The only thing left that I truly care about is New Siri, because I'm dying to see if Apple finally... FINALLY... has a voice assistant that isn't totally fucking stupid. I'll look at that when (and if) it's ever loaded on my iPhone.

A boy can dream, can't he?

Today I took a couple photos with my iPhone, as I do almost every day. It all went well, the photos were nice, and I went on with my life. Then, about an hour later, I picked up my iPhone and it was hot to the touch. That's when I noticed the camera was still running. I exited out of it, assuming it was hot because I accidentally left the camera going. But when I picked up the phone to go home for the day, it was still hot to the touch. So I rebooted it thinking that something was stuck running and off I went.

The reboot did nothing. Furthermore, I saw that my battery level was almost zero. So I ran upstairs and put it on my wireless charger. But when I finally went to bed, I saw that it would charge enough to turn on, run out of charge immediately, then turn off and repeat the cycle over and over and over.

Multiple resets did nothing, probably because it ran out of charge before it could register the reset. So I finally hooked it up (wired) to the most powerful charger I own. This got it charged quickly enough that I was able to shut it down completely before it ran out of power. And when I woke up, it was back to normal.

At which point I realized that I left a malfunctioning phone plugged in all night.

I'm lucky it didn't explode.

In other news, I think I'm too susceptible to social media marketing.

There's a content creator who operates under What the F Show who has been making some Nerf War skits that have been making me regret giving away my Nerf gun...

And so I spent a whole $7 to order a new one. Just to have on-hand, because sometimes I like shooting random visitors to my house with a Nerf dart.

Plus I'll feel safer at night knowing that I'm armed.

Every year or so people are sharing what apps they have on their phone's home screen, and I'm not immune to the immense pressure to join in.

Either that, or I am totally lacking content for today's post.

Anyway... here's my home screen...

Yes. I know. I am aware.

My screen is boring as hell. But that's intentional. I want as distraction-free an experience as possible. Which means my background is black so the icons have focus. I know what the icons are, so I remove the text by having them at maximum size. The only widget I have is Carrot Weather (both hourly and forecast). And there's the apps...

• Carrot Weather: The weather is kinda important where I live, and I appreciate the raw snark and hate you can get from Carrot. The widget at the top is also from the app, which shows the hourly and 4-day forecast in one.
• World Clock Pro: Having to coordinate time zones is not as important now as it used to be, but it's still handy to know what the time is in Uzebekistan from time to time.
• Apple Maps: After years of using a combination of Waze and Google Maps, I finally went to Apple late last year because I preferred the experience (and it's what I like for CarPlay).
• TickTick: I bounced between this, Things, Todoist, and Apple Reminders for forever. But eventually decided to just settle on the one I like the best, which is this. Also on my "Action Button" because it's constantly in use.
• Messenger/Facebook: Despite the fact that I despise the platform, this is the place where most of my online friends are. And so I use shitty Facebook Messenger and shitty Facebook apps to connect to the shitty service.
• Telegram: Mostly used to communicate for some of my work which requires it.
• WhatsApp: Used for work and for friends in foreign countries where this is what's used instead of texting.
• FindMy: I am forever losing my shit. And losing my stuff. So using Apple's FindMy to figure out where my Apple Watch, iPad, or stuff tagged with AirTags are hiding is something I do often enough that I keep the app on home.
• Photos: I take photos not just for keepsakes (or to have an hourly record of what my cats are doing), but also for communicating complex things more easily and remembering stuff. So I'm in this app all the time.
• Halide: My "Camera Control" opens Apple's Camera app, which is what I use most of the time. It's quick and easy. But when I want to take a photo where I have absolute control, Halide is my go-to.
• Wallet: Despite the fact that Washington State is a backwards fucking void when it comes to allowing us to have our driver's licenses stored digitally, I love Apple's Wallet. My house key, all of my credit cards, my loyalty cards, my insurance cards, my tickets, my passes... just everything lives here and is immediately accessible.
• Settings: I put this here years ago because I was constantly having to fiddle with something. But now-a-days I keep wanting to replace it with something because I'm rarely using it. Something to think about, I guess.
• Toyota: This app ain't great, but it's the only one they have to interact with my car. I don't use it very often, but when I do it's usually important enough to be slapped on my home screen.
• HomeKit: There's a growing list of things that suck about Apple's apps... but HomeKit HomeShit is at the top of the list as to being the suckiest. Lord how I fucking hate it. But, that's how my entire home is controlled, so here it is living on my home screen like it has earned it rather than just being semi-useful.
• Nest: This is where I can view my abundance of security cameras and smoke alarms and such. I keep thinking that I'll be forced to switch to the Google Home app, but this still kinda works. I have to re-log-in way more often than I should and you get errors often, but it's better than Google Home until I can no longer use it. Which is probably any minute now.
• Microsoft Outlook: It ain't perfect, but it's a damn site better than Apple's shitty fucking Mail and Calendar apps which have absolutely zero features for people who need to use these critical services for actual serious work. My personal email is still in Apple Mail on the next page so I can keep things separate.
• Phone: Yet another Apple app that's not as good as it should be, but it works for those times I am forced to make or receive a call.
• Safari: I actually rather like the browser better than most. But Arc is gaining ground fast and I may end up switching one day.
• Messages: This is an Apple app that's okay... but that's a serious problem, because it needs to be better than okay. It's a clutzy app that's more interesting in looking pretty than actually being a functional texting app. Most of the time, that's fine by me. But there are times I wish that Apple would just get their shit together for the love of God. I probably wouldn't be so sour on it if it would only handle spam in a sane way. But, alas...

Oh... by the way, Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

For future reference, these recipes turned out pretty great and are suitable for Thanksgiving or any time...

• Roasted Butternut Squash With Brown Butter Vinaigrette — I love butternut squash, and this is an incredible way to cook it.
• Cacio e Pepe Green Beans — If I had it to do over, I would steam the beans, shake them in melted butter, salt, and pepper... then layer the cheese. The water doesn't evaporate fast enough and the beans don't cook as well as steamed.
• Corn Casserole — I wasn't sure it was done and ended up overcooking it. I did like the surface area of a 13×9 dish for the cheese topping.

Last night I was looking through my photos to send one to a friend who was asking for travel advice. While digging through the archives, I noticed something strange... before 2008, my photos were a lot less personal. Sure, I had photos of me and my friends when we're together, but so many things in my day-to-day life along more casual moments went undocumented.

It took me all of two seconds to figure out why.

The iPhone was released on June 29, 2007. I got one a month later.

Before iPhone, I was usually using a digital SLR as a camera which was (mostly) only taken on trips. I was never hauling it around with me everywhere I went. I also had a pocket camera, of course, but it was just one more thing to carry around, so I mostly didn't. On top of that, a lot of places... like concerts, shows, and such... wouldn't allow you to take a camera in with you anyway. You had to be a professional photographer with a permission card to take photos.

Then iPhone came along, and I had a camera with me wherever I went. And everything changed. It wasn't a great camera, but it was good enough. Far better than the cameras on the phones I owned before (which I never used because they were so bad).

It took a few months before my brain was suitably programmed to remember that I had a camera in my pocket, but by 2008 I was very much in the habit of whipping out my iPhone to snap a photo when something fun or interesting happened.

I didn't have cats yet, but suddenly my iPhone was filled with photos of all the cats I met...

And occasional selfies, which I had never taken before (note I'm off-center because a front-facing camera wouldn't appear until iPhone 4)...

And mundane moments, like the food I was served on a plane...

And of course food in general. I rarely photographed food before... only when it was incredibly special... but now? From 2008 onwards, food photos were everywhere in my camera roll and on my blog...

Yeah, yeah... the photos I was getting were only ever decent when the lighting was perfect (I took seven photos of that cat trying to find the best angle and position to get the best detail in the fur), but even drab, low-res, blurry shots were cool at the time! Documenting the stuff I did and saw became second nature.

Back then, like now, people were telling me that I was spending too much time taking photos instead of enjoying the moment... but they were (and are) wrong. At least when it comes to me. Unlike traditional photos which required planning and camera choices, iPhone photography was just pressing a button on an object you already had in your hand. It was seconds of your life captured forever.

And I loved that.

Every one of the moments captured in photos above would have been easily forgotten if I didn't have photos. But instead I remember the cat that sat in my chair at a photo shoot I was at in Seattle... I remember everybody wearing cracker crowns at my sister's house for Christmas dinner... I remember how disappointed I was that I was in First Class on a flight and feeling Last Class because all they had was Pepsi instead of Coke... I remember loving Chicago-style veggie dogs so much that I didn't eat anything all morning so I would have room to eat two of them at lunch... I remember the Key Lime pie I got for lunch at Universal Studios Florida right before I rode the Incredible Hulk Coaster three times in a row... and I remember how my life changed when I ordered extra cashews on my cashew-caramel-frozen-custard sundae on a work trip to Wisconsin. Little moments preserved in time that I probably wouldn't have given a second thought if I wasn't able to scroll through them over and over whenever I want.

I'm sure as I get older and memories are more difficult to recall, I'll be very glad to have so many things digitally captured to help me remember the life I lived.

Including that time I had to chisel my car out of a hotel parking lot while working in Maine after an ice storm hit the night before...

Who wouldn't want to vividly remember that?

More smoky days ahead, but it would seem I can still blog while being trapped indoors... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• AI is Still Shit: Part 1,683! Dang. Googling my own blog to find something... and seeing their AI summary at the top is scary as hell. "Gemini" is drawing some very good conclusions each time, but missing the point entirely on a lot of things I've posted. Sarcasm and humor are left out of the equation, which means what I was intending to convey is badly misrepresented. Kinda freaking me out that people will see what Google is telling them and think that's what I was saying. But that's AI for you. Anybody who trusts it entirely needs to drastically reevaluate what they're being told.

   
• Unboxed! Marques Brownlee will be reviewing all the new iPhones in short order, but I wanted to reiterate how gutted I am that we finally get a brightly-colored iPhone Pro the minute I decide I'm going to pass on upgrading. Just look at how awesome it looks...

Yeah... the orange color paired with the camera lenses being upgraded (not to mention the sensor) almost makes me want to upgrade. Almost.

   
• Jaws! My current mood...

Cats are fiesty, that's for sure.

   
• NEWSFLASH: Whey to go: Is cheese the new reason to travel? It always has been. Going to the Kaasmuseum (Dutch Cheese Museum in Alkmaar) became a life ambition the moment I found out it existed. That's why you always travel for cheese! Parmesan and mozzarella in Italy. Cheddar in England and Canada. Feta in Greece. Butterkässe in Germany. Pepper cheese in Australia. Camembert in France. Cotija and Queso Fresco, and Oaxaca in Mexico. Manchego in Spain. Queso Tico in Costa Rica. Provoleta in Argentina. Sakura in Japan. I didn't have a specific cheese in Korea that I can remember, but I DO remember their corn cheese! And of course ALL THE CHEESE IN THE NETHERLANDS! I don't eat so much cheese now, but I would still travel for cheese!

   
• Big! This really takes me back. The interesting thing to note here is that projection TV technology was shit back in the day. If you don't view it directly-head-on, you can't see the picture well at all. Viewing from off the side was impossible...

Of course now people are thrilled to have their entire living room taken over by a television. I know I am!

   
• NEWSFLASH: Child dies of horrifying measles complication in Los Angeles. Herd immunity is failing now that anti-vaxers have created the society they’ve been dreaming of. And the death toll is only going to rise. This is horribly sad. Herd immunity is critical for protecting people unable to be vaccinated... like babies. How the fuck did we get here?

   
And now back to our regularly-scheduled wildfire season.

My days of running out and upgrading to Apple's latest and greatest are apparently over.

Because I've never been so overwhelmingly meh about a keynote that I can remember.

iPhone Pro Max 17
It's not that I wouldn't love to upgrade my 16 Pro Max to the latest model... I've always upgraded because of the cameras, and the improvements there are very nice indeed. 48MP cameras across the board on the rear, allowing for even more amazing "deep fusion" photos. A longer zoom. A 56% bigger sensor. Better low-light performance. Yes to all of that. And if I were still traveling regularly, I'd probably jump at it. But I'm not. I mostly take photos of my cats, and I can do that just fine with what I've got now. Everything else that's new doesn't mean much to me. My existing battery life, CPU speed, screen, enclosure, and the rest are already more than I already utilize. And what Apple "Intelligence" features I got in the year since they were supposed to be included on the 16 Pro don't impress me at all. I never use them because they're crap. I do like the orange color, having been dying for a Pro model that isn't drab and boring like we always used to get.

iPhone Air
I guess if all you wanted was a super thin and light iPhone, this is the model for you. But I want a phone for the camera, which is to say that this is not the phone for me.

iPhone 17
I guess if all you wanted was a less expensive iPhone Pro, this is the model for you. But I want a phone for the camera, which is to say that this is not the phone for me.

Apple Watch Series 11
And once again Apple has not released a (PRODUCT)RED watch, so I guess I'll be hanging onto my Series 9. Again. It's so fucking rage-inducing that Apple won't even give us a (PRODUCT)RED case for our phones any more. Does Apple think that AIDS is over or what? But anyway... the only thing I want from the new model is the hypertension monitor but, knowing me, it would probably be on high alert all day long. So maybe I'm better off without it.

Apple Watch Ultra 3
Even if the size wasn't total overkill for me, the feature set would be. I'd make an exception if I were into the activities that the watch was designed for, but I'm just... not.

AirPods Pro 3
Even though these are the newest AirPods, you'd be forgiven for thinking they weren't given how there's AirPods 4 out there already. Regardless, Apple seems to be basing the price on how good the noise cancelation is. None is $129. Active is $179. World's Best Active is $249 (with Live Translation tossed in). I think the AirPods I own are the original Pro models, and they are still everything I need. Except the battery life is tanking, making them soon-to-be-unuseable. Which I'm sure is exactly what Apple is counting on... built in time bomb so you have to purchase new ones. Just like my Beats that died. At this point I think I'd rather go back to corded.

And so... guess I'm saving my money this time.

Even though it means I'm losing my Certified Apple Whore™ cred.

If you aren't old enough to remember what it was like to exist before smart phones, then you have no idea how utterly bizarre the world was back then. Comparatively speaking.

I, of course, am not only familiar with the world before smart phones, I'm familiar with a world before personal computers! Yes. I am that old. And the weird thing is that I do not think about The Before Times. Like at all. I never call up Google Maps or answer a text on my iPhone and think "Gee... remember what it was life before Steve Jobs blessed humanity with this thing? As far as I'm concerned, smart phones feel like they've always existed.

No, what got me to thinking about The Before Times was this video by Eddy Burback where he gave up his mobile phone. And even then, I didn't really think about it UNTIL he got to the part where he was watching old episodes of Sex and The City at the 15-minute mark. THEN I was like "Holy crap..."

I am not to the point where I want to give up my iPhone.

Not even a little bit.

That being said, I am very, very glad that I got to experience life without smart phones. It was a very different time. And not really in a bad way.

I am a bit more mixed when it comes to personal computers. On one hand, being there at the beginning of it all was a super-exciting time to be alive. But on the other hand, it would have been nice if personal computing was a bit further along when I was younger. Particularly in high school.

Though given the horrific state of cyber-bullying, maybe I should be glad it was still in its infancy.

I likely wouldn't have survived it.

What the hell is wrong with app developers now-a-days? Do they just not give a shit? Do they not beta test? Do they not use their own software? Because I've been trying my best to understand why 90% of the apps I use are total crap, and I am at a complete loss.

Apple HomeKit HomeShit's app is the obvious contender for worst of the worst. It's so insanely bad that I automatically assume it will fail at what I want it to do. We were promised that Siri with Apple Intelligence would fix how utterly brain-dead their tech is at implementing even the most basic commands, but now Apple is delaying the rollout... despite the fact that they sold me my new iPhone based on smarter Siri coming soon! They had commercials with Bella Ramsey advertising it and everything! So now there are lawsuits by people who feel misled. And I want to join up because I'm definitely feeling like Apple has taken a giant shit on me yet again. I don't give a fuck about "Apple Intelligence"... just make it so I can get an automation to work for more than a day and let me control my home on my Mac without having to constantly restart the Home app. And, while you're at it, stop having your iPod mini tell me to switch to my iPhone app to open a damn door WHEN I AM TALKING INTO MY iPHONE AND SIRI HAS ACKNOWLEDGED THAT I'M SPEAKING TO IT THERE!

But the thing that happened today which compelled me to write this post?

Microsoft.

Who else? They have a long, long legacy of bullshit.

So there I was logging in to a shared drive on Microsoft servers when I get a message that I need to authorize access with the Microsoft Authenticator app. Authenticating is normal now, alas, and many companies are doing it to curb piracy. Adobe apps are all authenticated with their app, for example.

But unlike Adobe, where my Apple Watch will display buttons to allow or reject access... Microsoft has only ONE button after asking you to approve sign-in: Dismiss.

What the entire fuck?

Why even bother to have Apple Watch services if they aren't worth a shit? If I am going to have to open my iPhone to authenticate, fine, but leave my watch the hell out of it. Why pester me with a question that's impossible to answer?

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

How are Microsoft developers, who obviously know what they coded into the app, looking at this stupid bullshit and saying "Yep! That's the way we want it to work!"

The future may be now, but the technology of the future sucks.

   
UPDATE: Right on queue, Marques has some thoughts...

It's beyond shitty how Apple has degenerated to its current state. I can't fathom this kind of bullshit happening when Steve Jobs was running the company.

With the advent of the iPhone 16 (non-Pro version), Apple put the two lenses parallel to each other instead of on a diagonal so you can shoot spatial photos. Like your two eyes (assuming you have two functional eyeballs), shooting with two lenses spaced apart can add depth information to what you see (or photograph). Sure, the two lenses on the iPhone aren't spaced as far apart as your eyes, but it's still enough spacing to create a stereo image thanks to the iPhone's LiDAR depth sensor which can build a depth map.

The iPhone Pro has had parallel lenses for a while, but until the new 16 Pro, you've only been able to shoot spatial video. Now you can shoot spatial photos as well. These photos are meant to be displayed on Apple's astronomically expensive $3,500 Vision Pro.

Apple gives you no way of viewing spatial images on your iPhone. So if you don't have a Vision Pro, the only way I know to view the 3D image is, unbelievably, to post them to Facebook because they have had the ability to create 3D images for a while. It's just that iPhone's LiDAR depth data makes them better than usual since depth doesn't have to be interpreted.

But having to go through FACEBOOK?!? This is really fucking shitty of Apple.

They could easily build 3D viewing into iPhone's Photos app... drag your finger on the screen to change the angle... or pivot your iPhone to change the angle. It's about the biggest no-brainer there is, but nope. Apple demands you spend $3,500 additional in order to view what you shot on your iPhone.

So what I did to share them here is take some test shots of my cats, upload them to Facebook, then screen record my mouse changing the angle to see the 3D effect of the spatial images.

The result is very good (no thanks to Apple). When you play this shot of Jake showing off his junk, note how his foot in the air and the folds in the blanket have really good separation...

To view the Facebook original, just follow this link.

This shot of Jake is both impressive and a big ol' mess at the same time. The LiDAR sensor didn't register his whiskers, so they are merged with the background and look nuts. But the rest of him? How cool is this?

To view the Facebook original, just follow this link.

Shame about the whiskers. Maybe in the future Apple will add an improved LiDAR sensor to pick up smaller details. I wonder if there's a way to manually edit the depth map so I could paint the whiskers back in? Something I should look into...

Do I want an AppleVision Pro so I can see my spatial photos in real 3D? Of course I do. But do I have $3,500 to spend on one? No I do not. Hence Facebook. My guess is that Apple will eventually release an AppleVision (minus the Pro) which is actually affordable. Until then I'm hoping that Apple (or a third party) will at least give us a way of looking at the 3D images on our iPhone somehow. It's fucking embarrassing that Apple hasn't done something already.

Though given some of the curious decisions they made with my new iPhone 16 Pro Max, that's pretty much Apple in a nutshell.

I don't have the money to buy a new iPhone Pro outright. They're $1000 minimum. Which is why I just lease my iPhone from Apple's "iPhone Upgrade Program." It's a known expense every month that I budget for, so I always upgrade when a new model comes out because the monthly cost is the same. This way I don't have to stress over my phone getting older and breaking or losing its value. I did it yet again this year.

Welcome to the new iPhone 16 Pro...

The tl;dr version is this: Unless you are a part of the iPhone Upgrade Program and don't mind being trapped in an eternal lease, I would not upgrade from the 15 Pro or 14 Pro unless you are after a very specific feature that's been upgraded. The general differences between these models are just so minor in the grand scheme of things. I'm betting most people will not be affected all that much. If you have an 13 Pro or earlier then, in my opinion, there's enough to make the jump (especially if you're in it for the camera). — The big new features for 16 Pro are "Camera Control" which is kinda a bust, a new 48MP Ultra-Wide lens which is nice but not essential, and "Tone Photographic Style" which is actually a fix for the shitty over-processing that iPhone keeps forcing on their users.

And here we go...

iPhone 16 PRO PROS

ULTRA-WIDE. Apple finally increased the megapixels on my favorite lens... the ultra-wide, taking it from 12MP to 48MP. It seems to help most with macro shooting more than wide-angle photos. The only thing left to go 48MP is the 5X lens, which desperately needs to be better, but is still languishing in 12MP. Because? 48MP is nice! Especially when you warm the tone and shift the flatness out...

iPhone 15 Pro Max Macro Lens

iPhone 16 Pro Max Macro Lens

iPhone 15 Pro Max Macro Lens — Zoomed

iPhone 16 Pro Max Macro Lens — Zoomed

iPhone 15 Pro Max Macro Lens

iPhone 16 Pro Max Macro Lens

TONE & STYLE. I'm just putting this out there... I fucking hate the Camera app in the 15 Pro Max. It shoots over-processed, boring, flat, shitty photos. There's no depth in the shadows. So there's no pop or subtlety to the images. Everything has an appearance that approaches cell-shaded. And, guess what, the default photos you get out of the 16 Pro Max are fucking worse. The difference is that you have the ability to set an "undertone look" which can offset this flat, boring, shitty, awful default. This photo I shared of Jake on Caturday had the highlights dialed back a bit in the Photos app, but that's the only adjustment I felt I had to make because it looked darn good right out of the camera...

The rich warmth comes from slightly leaning into the "Amber" style... but you can see that I also drop out of the horrific fucking blown out shadows by lowering the tone a bit so there was some actual depth...

I realize that if I don't like the iPhone's Camera app that there are dozens of others I could use. And I own a lot of them. But the convenience of the default app is too handy to ignore... especially now that you can do something to improve how it shoots. I'm not saying Apple redeemed themselves with the new camera because they still have shitty defaults that most people will never change, but at least there's a way out if you're aware it exists and figure out how to use it. And, as a bonus, you can apply/adjust the undertone settings after the photo has been taken! Nifty!

THE DISPLAY. It's aces. It was aces last time. I find it bizarre that the non-Pro models are still 60Mhz, but the Pro has a buttery-smooth 120Mhz that looks incredible. Thanks to the smaller bezels (and slightly larger size) you get a few more pixels too. The 16 Pro Max has 2868 × 1320 pixels vs. the 15 Pro Max 2796 × 1290.

MICROPHONES. The new microphone array is not being overhyped. It really does make a difference.

4K 120FPS. The fact that a frickin' phone can shoot 4K video at 120 frames per second is mind-blowing. Usually you have to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a RED Cinema camera to get stuff like that. Assuming you have an external high-speed drive attached to hold the massive file sizes it requires. Apparently Danny Boyle is shooting his new 28 Years Later movie on an iPhone 15 Pro Max, and I'll bet it will look great... even though he will undoubtedly be slapping on a lot of additional tech to his phone. Wonder what people will do with the iPhone 16 Pro?

BATTERY. Before my 16 arrived, I logged a Saturday with my 15 doing common tasks with plenty of video watching, app using, and photo-taking. Then I repeated that day with the 16 as closely as I could. Apple did not lie. I was already very pleased with the battery life, but it looks like I would get an extra 40 minutes (with plenty left on both phones) on the newer model. This will be very cool if I have to travel somewhere, because that's when I use the most battery.

PERFORMANCE. For years the iPhone's CPU/GPU performance has been more than adequate. And yet it keeps getting faster and more capable anyway. It's a good thing because it allows the photo processing to keep getting better. The fact that this benefits intensive apps (like some games) is just the icing on the cake.

iPhone 16 PRO CONS

CAMERA WEIRDNESS. In most ways the camera is the same as 15 Pro Max. In some ways the camera is better than 15 Pro Max (like the new Ultra-Wide), but in some ways it's strangely worse. This may be a settings issue that I have to work out, but it's frustrating to take a photo on the 15 and have it look perfectly fine, then take the same exact shot with the 16 and have it blown out in the highlights or isn't as defined. Where's that coming from? No idea. Fortunately, it's not common, but it's common enough to be irritating. I hope this is a software issue that can be rectified.

THE SIZE. I started buying the "Pro Max" because it was the only way to get the best camera. But now both Pro models get the same camera spread, so I was very close to going back to the "no-Max" size because Apple made the Max model larger than it used to be. And it's like WHY?!?. My God... you sell fucking iPads, stop turning your iPhones into iPads. Yes, the size increase is small, but it's still an increase.

CAMERA CONTROL. The feature I was most excited to get is the new "Camera Control" (AKA the "not-a-button button"). And while the idea is good, the implementation is awful. It looks like Apple tried to position the control in a spot that is supposed to be accessible to both landscape and portrait shooters. In doing so, it's fucking terribly positioned for both. They should have just picked one (landscape, obviously) and put it where you naturally want to position your finger instead of having to stretch across the screen in a weird way to reach it. In addition, the half-press access to the actual "controls" of "Camera Control" is janky as hell. I've tried to get used to it, but it's unwieldily and strange. It actually screws up my shots sometimes because it activates when I didn't intend it to, and the action of pressing it to take a photo is so odd that I end up moving the camera while trying to press down, thus un-framing my shot. I've adjusted the pressure and dwell sensitivity in the "Accessibility Settings" and I'm really hoping that I can get the hang of it. Because... yikes. Did ANYBODY use this fucking thing before they slapped it on their phone?!? I'm seriously wondering if I'm going to end up turning this not-a-button off so I don't have to worry about accidentally fucking up the settings on my shots. I sure hope Apple adjusts this in software soon, because in reality it's nothing like what they advertise, at last not for me...

AI MISSING. This phone's entire reason for being is AI. Apple has literally said that it's "Built from the ground up for Apple Intelligence." So where is it? Nowhere. The brand new iPhones aren't shipping with it. Sure you can install betas and developer betas to get it (like I have), but it's profoundly stupid to ship the new model without its hallmark feature. This is once again a company caring more about a date on the calendar than customer experience. Apple, who has more money than God, should seriously reevaluate how they're operating. Because this "It's coming, I promise!" bullshit in tech is getting old.

THE COLORWAYS. It's so FUCKING stupid how the cheaper iPhones always get the nicer colorways. I don't know how it was decided that getting extra features means getting stuck with these shitty, drab, morose, ugly colors... but here we are. I picked "Black Titanium" because it was the least shitty. And the cases Apple sells mostly follow suit. At least this year we get a bright yellow and a nice "ultramarine" case for the Pro models which let you pretend you don't have a boring-ass phone. I am sick to fucking death of Apple's "Pro" aesthetic, and wish they would get the fuck over themselves and give us at least ONE bright, fun color each year. Instead we get "desert"... Good Lord. For the second time we don't get a Product (RED) version in the non-Pro iPhone (we've never been given a Pro version ever). And no (RED) case again this year for any model. I'm guessing Apple has given up on it, since there's no (RED) Apple Watch this year either.

THE PRICE. Let's face it, the iPhone Pro models are insanely expensive. I honestly don't know that they're worth it when you can get a model from two years early for less money that's going to still be very good. This year things are even more confusing because the non-Pro models are not as far away from the Pro models. Both have an Action Button now. Shockingly, they both got the Camera Control feature as well. As if that wasn't enough, base iPhones leapfrogged a generation of Apple Silicon and are now at A18 chips which is more on parity with A18 Pro, when previous years were always a generation behind. No idea what Apple is thinking on that. My guess is that they are trying to make base models better so they can better compete with equivalent Android phones. But they're starting to compete with the Pro models as well. With better colors.

   
And there's my 2¢ on my new iPhone. I'm now very curious to know what they're going to do for the 17 Pro models to keep things moving forward. At this point I think the only thing that could push me to upgrade would be a 48MP 5× telephoto lens. Or a 4th camera that's a 10× or 15× lens, though going handheld with that would be tricky. Another thing that might convince me to upgrade? A FUCKING PRO COLORWAY THAT ISN'T SHITTY AND BORING!