As you may imagine, having a blog that's publicly out on the internet can result in a certain level of backlash from people looking at it. I got two death threats for my thoughts of Hillary Clinton. I've also gotten assorted threats for all kinds of things on this blog... with most of the hate coming from homophobes who really don't like that I am an LGBTQ+ ally. After Washington passed the Marriage Equality Act R-74 (something I advocated for at least once a week) I got one of the longest, nastiest, most hateful comments I've ever received. Obviously I didn't approve it. But I did send a reply since he included his email address: "I don't want any more kids killing themselves in my community because they're gay and think they have no future. Marriage equality shows these kids that people approve of THEM. I could give a shit about who's married or not. I then added a link to a news story of the kid from my high school alma matter who committed suicide after being relentlessly bullied. Bullied for nothing more than being who he is.
Who he was.
He died in February, 2012.
Then-Governor Gregoire signed the legislation for marriage equality ten days later on February 13th.
The legislation was voted into law during the 2012 November election.
Then it was rendered moot when the US Supreme Court made marriage equality law country-wide on June 25, 2015.
I was reminded of all this last night as I was watching the movie Adam & Steve for LGBTQ Movie Month (it was weirdly not horrible... with some very funny bits and some cringe bits). The film was released in 2005. At the time, I think that Massachusettes was the only place where marriage equality was legally available.
A different world now. Which is reflected in the movie. To an extent.
Malcolm Gets's character talks about wanting to fall in love, get married, and have kids like he saw in the movies. Spoiler Alert: Malcolm asks his boyfriend to marry him. And they do, in fact, get married at the end. But they don't go much further on commentary than that, despite the ceremony likely not being legally recognized? The idea of marriage equality in 2005 was a bit far-fetched. And ten years away was still ten years away, but it still seems that something could be said about hoping all 50 states would one day recognize their union. Or something? But maybe they didn't want that horrible backwards thinking intruding on such a happy moment for the characters? I get that.
All this has me really, really curious about that homophobe that hated me so badly for supporting equality back in the day. Did his head explode back in 2015 when "the gays" started getting married? Was he in denial about his sexuality and got over his self-loathing enough to get married to the man of his dreams? I honestly don't know. My hope is that if he's still a homophobe that he at least keeps that shit to himself.
Anything is possible.
DAVE'S 2021 MOVIE FESTIVAL CALENDAR
...love won out and The Supreme Court decreed that marriages were equal in the eyes of the law. Washington State had already legalized same-sex marriage by then, so I was already attending weddings, designing invitations, and celebrating with friends who had wanted to get married, but couldn't because they were told they had the wrong body parts. But now Washington marriages would be recognized in all 50 states, and it was a happy day for everyone.
Except for random people who still aren't happy unless they are shitting on somebody else's happiness. Never mind that two other people getting married doesn't fucking affect them, they don't like the idea of people with matching genitalia getting hitched, so they think they (or their religion) should get to dictate how other people get to live their lives in a country which was founded on personal choice and freedom of/from religion. And now there's talk of marriage equality being overturned by The Supreme Court, which is ludicrous, but not surprising. Next up? Overturning Loving vs. Virginia, which legalized marriage between two races. And why stop there? Next up? Making it so only Christians can get married and only in a church ceremony. After that? Only people with money are allowed to marry. Then only people with money get to have children. Then only people with money get to vote and own property. And why not bring back slavery? This country was built on it, after all.
This lapse in logical thinking is bizarre and makes no sense, but bigotry never does. Oh well. Keep hating, if that's your thing. Meanwhile, everybody else will be moving on...
Or rather, I should say continue moving on, because same-sex marriage is hardly a new concept and has been around as long as history has been around. But bringing logic into the argument never seems to do any good with haters, so I'm going to go make dinner now.
Just goes to show... you can't have a debate over the Confederate Flag without dragging marriage equality into the mix!
Any bets on how long it'll be until this asshole is caught with an underage male prostitute in some seedy airport hotel?
Yeah. Definitely overcompensating for something.
Probably hates they idea of gay marriage because it's just so damn tempting to him.
Meanwhile, the rest of the world is waking up to the novel concept that UNLESS YOU'RE IN A SAME-SEX RELATIONSHIP, SAME-SEX MARRIAGE DOESN'T FUCKING AFFECT YOU.
Unless, of course, you want to be happy for all your friends, co-workers, and family who can finally get married the same way every other tax-paying American can.
No, your calendar doesn't deceive you... because Bullet Sunday on Monday starts... now...
• Heat! On top of the fires that have been raging here in Central Washington, we've got this crazy heat wave assaulting us like a blast furnace. The outdoors are practically inhospitable at 110°, but at least this bear has found a way to beat the heat...
That's one happy bear.
• Beard! As I am not swimming in a box of women, clearly my beard is entirely inadequate. But a solution is at hand...
Of course, compared to this guy, ALL BEARDS ARE INADEQUATE, even with god-like beard oil in them, so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad.
• Station Agent! A moment of silence for Tama-chan...
Photo by Toru Yamanaka/AFP/Getty Images
One of many feel-good cat stories... you will be missed, Tama!
• CANADA! "UGH! GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL NOW? I'M MOVING TO CANADA!" — If that's you, there's probably something you should know...
• WAAAH!!! And, speaking of sour grapes... Mike Huckabee Set the Bar Really High for the Worst Reaction to the Same-Sex Marriage Ruling. What an asshole.
• Travel! I updated my travel map and was happy to learn that I've finally reached my goal of seeing 25% of the countries on this planet...
At one time I thought I'd strive for 50%, but it took over half my life just to get this far. so unless somebody has a couple million dollars for me so I can quit work and travel the world... I guess this will have to do.
And... back to this unrelenting heat wave...
So... marriage equality nation-wide then.
The decision handed down from the Supreme Court was both surprising (there is so much crazy sitting on that bench) and unsurprising at the same time. Unsurprising because marriage is not a religious institution in this country. You can get married by a Justice of the Peace in a completely non-religious ceremony if you want, so government has no fucking business banning it for two consenting adults with the same genitals just because some churches don't like that. Marriage predates Christianity and only has religious connotations if you want it to, so all religious-based arguments are invalid. Which means keeping marriage from an entire class of tax-paying citizens is discrimination plain and simple.
But, make no mistake, if it hadn't been for ever-escalating public support, the SCOTUS decision probably would have gone the other way. The people actually running this country do love the status quo, after all.
So how did we get here?
A couple years ago while I was working in Anaheim, the answer became abundantly clear to me. During a dinner break, one of my co-workers was talking about how she attended a conference where she noticed the elderly man working the coat-check line was wearing a button with the newly-minted Human Rights Campaign's marriage equality symbol on it. After she told him that she liked his button, someone behind her asked "Do you even know what that button means?" — as if they just liked it for the color or something. Before she could answer, the gentleman replied "It means that maybe one day my grandson can get married."
End of story.
Despite spending his formative years in a society conditioned to revile all things gay and growing up in a time where the very idea of same-sex marriage was taboo... perhaps even dangerous... this man loves and supports his grandson.
And that's the ticket, isn't it? Now-a-days most everybody has somebody they care about who's gay. And if you care about someone, you want them to have the same rights as everybody else. That means your family... your neighbors... your co-workers... your friends.
Which is why I have never shied away from voicing my support for marriage equality loudly and often, both here on Blogography and in Real Life. I couldn't look my friends in the face if I didn't. And after realizing how much society's acceptance can mean to kids who are struggling with their sexuality, I couldn't look myself in the face if I didn't.
And I'm not unique that way. In surprisingly short order, the majority of people in this country have come to support marriage equality. The majority of The Supreme Court among them.
So love wins.
As it should.
One big step in the right direction.
With many more left to follow.
To my many friends who have waited so long... I look forward to your fabulous weddings...
Tomorrow maybe...
Any day now...
Just do it already.
From a historical perspective, we already look ridiculous...
No sense continuing to cater to the ever-increasing backwards fringe elements of society when most everybody else has moved on...
Oh well. At least the anti-equality brigade is keeping things entertaining as they go down in flames.
Now that marriage equality is blowing across the country like a righteous wind of rainbows and glitter, it should come as no surprise that homophobic political bigots are devising new ways to be on the wrong side of history.
Take it away, Jon Stewart...
There's a lot of hypocritical idiocy on display here, but Tony Tinderholt is the cherry on top of the bigot sundae...
This piece of shit can get married as many times as he wants... FIVE times at current count... but it's the gays who are ruining the sanctity of the institution?
Uh huh.
Amazing how somebody who lied about their employment history... committed insurance fraud... left children in the care of drug-abusers... and allowed a minor to be served alcohol, become intoxicated and then drive drunk... is in a position to dictate what people are and are not allowed to do with their personal lives.
Uh huh.
It's only a matter of time until he's exposed for sleeping with an underage gay prostitute, busted for cocaine, or is caught strangling a puppy. These people can't seem to stop themselves. The rules don't apply to their lives, after all.
Uh huh.
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