Don't think that yet another war started by the "president of peace" and chairman of the "board of peace" who campaigned on a promise "no more wars" will send me into a rage so fucking deep that I can't blog... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Health is Overrated! There's a fuck-ton of idiocy in the news this week, but I'm going to focus on one. Wanting an anti-science, anti-vax, medical residency drop-out dipshit grifter social media influencer as your fucking Surgeon General. No big deal. Just the health of all Americans at stake. Jesus Christ.

   
• Classic Dutch: Expert spots vulnerability in Dutch national security, gets trolled with a souvenir t-shirt for his efforts. "So I notified the Dutch CERT that a Dutch ship was using a satellite router with a default password and that it was exposed to the internet. They notified me that the vulnerability was mitigated and asked for my address to send me a T-shirt. At first I was worried, but today I received the shirt."

This is epic. Dutch government +1000 points. No notes.

   
• Cuteness Overload! I'LL TAKE FIVE!!!

Though I'm not sure how the cats would react. Probably not well.

   
• NEWSFLASH: Denmark to tackle deepfakes by giving people copyright to their own features. And it's fucking absurd if everybody else doesn't follow suit. We are getting to a point where AI can render new realities. Do you want anybody to be able to use your likeness to have you doing whatever they can dream up and it looks convincing enough that people think it's really you? Kids in school are already taking their own lives because assholes are releasing deepfakes of them in horrific scenarios, and the sooner we start introducing severe penalties for abuse the better.

   
• No Freedom for You! This story appeared in my Facebook feed a couple days ago: "Trans man jumps in frigid lake & saves baby from drowning: 'I wasn’t going to let that baby die'" — Could have just said "man" but okay.

Then right after that, this story appeared: "Kansas is suspending the driver's licenses of trans people. Just abject cruelty. Nazis also revoked identity documents from trans people."

What the fuck is it about trans people merely existing that makes people become total assholes? They're just trying to live their life the best they can with the cards they were dealt, so why the endless persecution? Why in the so-called "land of the free" can't they be free to be who they are?

   
• Shitter! Oh God. I knew Twitter was awful... but I had no idea. The second half of this video is terrifying...

The death and destruction caused by bullshit and lies promoted on Twitter is cause to shut it the fuck down.

   
• Political Inaction! I am not wired to handle physical credit cards and ID cards. Despite trying real hard to keep them all in the same place, I keep losing them. Which is why I love my Apple Wallet and Apple Pay. But some cards don't work with it. Including my Driver's License... because the fucking assholes in Washington State government are looking for more ways to tax us instead of doing shit that will make our lives easier. Mississippi has digital licenses, but the state claiming to be a bastion of technology doesn't? A bill has been in legislative hell for THREE YEARS without movement. Fucking useless politicians. Especially stupid given that this is a bipartisan bill It was sponsored by both parties: Mark Mullet (D), Phil Fortunato (R), Chris Gildon (R), Marko Liias (D), Joe Nguyen (D), Jamie Pedersen (D), Claire Wilson (D). God how I fucking hate political idiocy. We've also voted to make Daylight Saving Time permanent... that's going nowhere too. JUST GET THIS SHIT DONE!

   
• When it absolutely, positively, has to be a pain in the ass! Remember when you could just call FedEx, tell them you had a package to pick up, and they would take care of it? Not any more. I spend 40 minutes trying to get a package picked up. Couldn't do it. The company that sent me the label tried for an additional half hour. Couldn't do it. It's insane. You can't even go online and do it because you have to have an account or some other stupid crap. Service has gone right out the window. I used to love FedEx... now I outright loathe dealing with their bullshit.

   
And now back to yet another war, already in progress. Ironic that our commander in chief is calling upon the Iranian people to rise up against the government when Americans can't even fucking protest the government (as guaranteed in our Constitution) without getting fucking shot.

The stupid. It burns.

"Don't take THAT acetaminophen, take THIS acetaminophen!"

This is what happens when you have morons in charge of everything and morons following them blindly in the most idiotic way possible...

And let's remember how this all started...

Lord. I feel like the entire world is going fucking insane. When did we start listening to people who have no fucking clue what in the hell they're talking about?

HBO... also known as "Home Box Office" to people like me who grew up with it... started as a premium channel that you could add to your cable subscription package for an additional fee. It offered movies, specials, and other stuff at a time before VHS video tapes existed. The concept was hugely successful, and so other premium channels followed... Showtime... Cinemax... The Movie Channel... and more.

Over the years HBO has kept up with the times by having a streaming on-demand channel, which was originally called "HBO Now." They also had a version of this for their cable subscribers called "HBO Go." But, in the end, no matter where you went to consume their content, it was still HBO.

But then everything got rolled together and became "HBO Max."

And then something remarkable happened.

HBO, one of the most recognized brands in existence, decided to call themselves "Max."

I have no idea what dumbfuck came up with the idea to bury such a well-known brand by dropping the actual branding from the brand... but it was one of the stupidest advertising decisions I've ever seen. Companies would kill for the brand recognition that HBO had developed over the past 50+ years. They'd kill for it.

And HBO just threw it away.

When I got back from vacation on Saturday I saw a news story which said that "Max" was going to rebrand as "HBO Max" again, because people didn't seem to know what the fuck "Max" was. Which is why I never referred to it as "Max" ever. I always called it "HBO Max" because that way people actually know what the fuck I'm talking about.

I understand better than most that sometimes difficult decisions have to be made and the people in charge have to bite the bullet and make it for better or worse. But you'd think... you'd really think... that they would at least try to educate themselves about the decisions they make to keep from having a painfully obvious fuck-up. Especially when millions of dollars are at stake. "Brand recognition" is not some abstract concept. And anybody who's in charge of making decisions for a company at such a high level as HBO branding should fucking understand that concept.

But they didn't, and HBO paid the price.

Now they're trying to roll back this laughably catastrophic decision in an attempt to salvage the brand that they tossed in the trash.

Well, good luck with that.

Fortunately for them there were people like me who were ignoring their whole "Max" fiasco and keep the brand alive on their behalf (and I'm not alone... a lot of people and media outlets continued to call it "HBO" long after it had been rebranded). The problem for HBO (or, more accurately, their owner, Warner Bros. Discovery) are people during the past two years who don't know what the fuck "HBO" is because they've ever known the service as "Max."

And don't even get me started on the fifty buckets of stupid that is the name "Warner Bros. Discovery." Jesus. Who the fuck gives a shit about Discovery? Why rename your entire company to add something that has ridiculously poor brand recognition? The channel is still "Discovery" so what the fuck does that have to do with Warner Bros.?!? God... I just... HEY, DUMBASSES, I CAN CONSULT WITH YOUR BRANDING FOR FAR LESS MONEY THAT YOU'RE LOSING WITH ALL THESE SHITTY DECISIONS! CALL ME!

What the hell is wrong with app developers now-a-days? Do they just not give a shit? Do they not beta test? Do they not use their own software? Because I've been trying my best to understand why 90% of the apps I use are total crap, and I am at a complete loss.

Apple HomeKit HomeShit's app is the obvious contender for worst of the worst. It's so insanely bad that I automatically assume it will fail at what I want it to do. We were promised that Siri with Apple Intelligence would fix how utterly brain-dead their tech is at implementing even the most basic commands, but now Apple is delaying the rollout... despite the fact that they sold me my new iPhone based on smarter Siri coming soon! They had commercials with Bella Ramsey advertising it and everything! So now there are lawsuits by people who feel misled. And I want to join up because I'm definitely feeling like Apple has taken a giant shit on me yet again. I don't give a fuck about "Apple Intelligence"... just make it so I can get an automation to work for more than a day and let me control my home on my Mac without having to constantly restart the Home app. And, while you're at it, stop having your iPod mini tell me to switch to my iPhone app to open a damn door WHEN I AM TALKING INTO MY iPHONE AND SIRI HAS ACKNOWLEDGED THAT I'M SPEAKING TO IT THERE!

But the thing that happened today which compelled me to write this post?

Microsoft.

Who else? They have a long, long legacy of bullshit.

So there I was logging in to a shared drive on Microsoft servers when I get a message that I need to authorize access with the Microsoft Authenticator app. Authenticating is normal now, alas, and many companies are doing it to curb piracy. Adobe apps are all authenticated with their app, for example.

But unlike Adobe, where my Apple Watch will display buttons to allow or reject access... Microsoft has only ONE button after asking you to approve sign-in: Dismiss.

What the entire fuck?

Why even bother to have Apple Watch services if they aren't worth a shit? If I am going to have to open my iPhone to authenticate, fine, but leave my watch the hell out of it. Why pester me with a question that's impossible to answer?

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

How are Microsoft developers, who obviously know what they coded into the app, looking at this stupid bullshit and saying "Yep! That's the way we want it to work!"

The future may be now, but the technology of the future sucks.

   
UPDATE: Right on queue, Marques has some thoughts...

It's beyond shitty how Apple has degenerated to its current state. I can't fathom this kind of bullshit happening when Steve Jobs was running the company.

Despite being a certified Apple whore, I have never hesitated to call out their "smart voice assistant" as being stupid as shit. And even that's being generous. I wrote sometime last year that I was seriously excited that Apple Intelligence was coming to smarten Siri up and make the technology finally be consistently useful.

Well, I think we all know how that turned out.

I've been in on Apple's take on AI since the developer's beta, and Siri is stupid as ever. Absolutely nothing has changed. Basic commands fail at an alarming rate. Trying to get Siri to understand anything is a challenge. I have gotten so frustrated at times that I've been screaming at an iPod mini in the bathroom while getting ready for work... or into my iPhone in my pocket from my AirPods... or at CarPlay while driving.

Just today I asked Siri via CarPlay to get me directions to the grocery store in Big City. I knew where it was, but wanted the fastest route from where I was at. I asked, very specifically, for the store I wanted. Siri still gave me two options... one in the next city over that was farther away... which is absolute madness. After having to tap the screen for the one I wanted because I didn't know how the fuck you vocally tell Siri which option to use when you've already given it the literal city and street, Apple Maps sent me in the opposite fucking direction. So I gave up and told Siri to "cancel navigation." After a seriously long pause, Siri said that it couldn't do that right now, then proceeded to keep giving me directions to the wrong store. And it's like... what, exactly, the fuck do you have to do to just get Siri to send you to the fucking store that you asked for in the first place?

I was so fucking enraged by the time I made two taps on the screen to cancel the wrong directions that I very nearly punched my finger through the damn screen. Siri is fucking useless and Apple "Intelligence" is a fucking joke.

The problem is magnified exponentially when you're attempting to get Siri to take control of shitty fucking Apple tech like HomeKit. My God. How basic of a command is "Hey Siri, turn off the kitchen lights?" that Siri doesn't know what in the hell to do? How big of a fucking failure is your technology if the most rudimentary commands can't be interpreted?

And it ain't just me. This story on Daring Fireball is pathetically hilarious: Siri Is Super Dumb and Getting Dumber.

Yep. That pretty much sums it up.

And so our bought-and-paid-for "Supreme" Court has unanimously said that Americans don't have the fucking freedom to decide for themselves what they can and cannot access on the internet, making a decision for all of us that TikTok can be actually be banned. Turns out that only American companies are allowed to promote misinformation, exploit our personal information, and send our data to China! Anybody else does it and it's a "matter of National Security." Despite some valid concerns, this is some stupid shit right here. Guess TikTok didn't buy off the right politicians...

The entire TikTok fiasco is both straightforward and complex. President Trump is the one who set out to ban it. Then Democrats got into power and President Biden co-signed it, but passed the buck back to Trump as he returns to power. So now Trump is in a position to either save TikTok or sink it thanks to the "Supreme" Court (making Democrats look fucking stupid as usual, regadless of which way he goes). That's the simple version. The complexity comes from all the political shit surrounding the simple version. Take for example Senator Tom Cotton, Republican from Arkansas. He's the guy who torpedoed an extension to TikTok shutting down. He's very aggressive about it. But why? Well, the corrupt asshole has a book coming out called Seven Things You Can't Say About China. Him being able to claim that he's the guy who took a tough stand against China by banning TikTok is great promotion for his book (which I'm assuming is about taking a tough stand against China). This is a total conflict of interest, but that's hardly surprising coming from a politician. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. All those politicians taking money from Facebook have to repay that favor somehow, and what better way than to shut down a huge competitor? It goes on and on. And until we start executing politicians who fuck over American citizens to serve their own lust for money and power, it's going to continue.

   
And speaking of seriously stupid shit... I have written about the flerfer (flat earther) movement many, many times on Blogography. I just don't get it. We had this shit figured out before the time of Jesus Christ. It's an easily verifiable fact that the earth is a globe. Shoot a rifle or mortar over a long distance. You'll have to adjust for the curvature of the earth and its Coriolis force to hit your target. Or, even easier, just watch a ship disappear over the horizon because it's going behind the curvature of the earth. Or you can do something like this simple two minute experiment where flerfers debunked themselves...

Fast forward to The Final Experiment. A guy flew some flerfers to Antarctica to observe the 24-hour sun, something that's impossible on a flat earth. And something I know is real, BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE AND HAVE FUCKING SEEN IT FIRST-HAND! And of course the flerfers are calling the whole "Final Experiment" a lie, which is beyond stupid.

And then today, finally, the video I've been waiting for has finally arrived. Professor Dave weighed in. It's certified gold. ..

   
Blergh. I was going to write about a few other stupid things... including, but not limited to, Apple "Intelligence," a teacher who left their cocaine in an elementary school bathroom in Vegas, and go off on social media influencers yet again... but stupidity is exhausting enough.

ANNNNNND... DONE! NOBODY IS SELLING YOUR DATA TO CHINA EXCEPT AMERICAN COMPANIES! THERE! WE'VE FIXED ALL OF AMERICA'S PROBLEMS! NOW WE'RE VOTING TO GIVE OURSELVES A RAISE AND THEN GO INTO RECESS FOR A FEW MONTHS! — God how I fucking detest our politicians. What a bunch of worthless fucking pieces of shit.

NEWSFLASH: Biden signs bill that could ban TikTok, a strike years in the making

Yet another case of politicians loudly announcing "DON'T LOOK AT WHAT I'M DOING! DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO ME! LOOK! OVER THERE! IT'S TIKTOK! SURE EVERYTHING'S FUCKED AND WE'RE DOING FUCK-ALL ABOUT IT BECAUSE PEOPLE GIVE US MONEY IF WE DO FUCK-ALL... BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT! IT'S TIKTOK! TIKTOK IS AN IMMEDIATE THREAT TO ALL AMERICANS! SO APPLAUD US! BOW DOWN BEFORE US! RE-ELECT US! IGNORE THE UNGODLY AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU PAY US! BECAUSE WE'RE WORKING HARD ON YOUR BEHALF! BECAUSE TIKTOK! YOU'RE WELCOME!"

How did we, as a country, end up in this sorry, pathetic state?

Oh well. TikTok was on it's way out anyway because they're shoving ads down your fucking throat every five videos and I'm sick to death of it... but I suppose Congress needs something to do to have the appearance that they're doing anything at all.

UPDATE: And now... this...

If somebody would throw a science text book into Alabama, that would be great. Preferably science book on tape, as it seems lawmakers are not much into reading words in those learnin' books.

And while we're on the subject, I thought it was unlikely that politicians could be more fucking stupid and willfully ignorant than the likes Lauren Boebert, Louie Gohmert, and Majorie Taylor Green. But then along comes fucking Tommy Tuberville and it's all "Hold my beer." Jesus.

We have seriously got to have a basic competency test for all political condidates before they can even get on the ballot. I mean, critical thinking skills would be nice... but right now I'd settle for not being as dumb as a box of fucking rocks.

Hulu forces me to choose between commercials for KitKat or Reeses... then, after I finally choose one so I can get to my fucking show... THEY SHOW ME A COMMERCIAL ABOUT BOTH BECAUSE "I DESERVE BOTH!"

Fuck Hulu for wasting my time with a non-choice. And definitely fuck the assholes at KitKat and Reese's for coming up with a stupid-as-shit ad campaign which wastes people's fucking time and actually makes me hate products I used to love.

Fire your fucking advertising agency for being obscenely fucking stupid. Who thought this was a good idea?

Christ.

There's nothing that indicates just how fucking beyond stupid Apple has gotten than this bit of drama I experienced tonight. The AppleTV remote in my bedroom has never worked. The trackpad on the top doesn't move reliably. So I threw it in a box in the garage and just use my iPhone.

At least I did until tonight.

I went to turn on my TV/AppleTV and got this nonsense...

Which is essentially saying that you need a remote to use your iPhone as a remote.

Seriously. How do they come up with this shit?

Is ANYBODY at Apple actually using their products or beta testing shit any more?