Ryan Gosling tore up Saturday Night Live in an episode that came out of nowhere... despite the fact that he killed it the last time he hosted as well.

There weren't any really bad sketches, but some mediocre ones were made better by Gosling not being able to keep a straight face throughout. The topper being the Beavis and Butt-Head sketch with Mikey Day...

But the highlight of the show for me was a sketch that never even made it to air. It was the sequel to Papyrus, called Papyrus 2. It didn't have the same reach, but it was a fun watch. If you haven't seen the masterpiece original that had graphic designers around the world rolling, I'll give you that one first...

And here's the latest installment...

Genius.

HE BOLDED IT! is something I'll probably be saying a lot now.

And so we've come to the end of a three-day weekend, and I'm really sad about that, but not so sad that I'm taking a day off from bullets... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Jolene! Okay... so Beyoncé didn't just cover Dolly Parton's Jolene she changed it in a significant way. Instead of begging Jolene not to steal her man, Beyoncé is warning Jolene to not try and steal her man...

A good cover song comes from making it your own. Beyoncé did that completely. AND SPEAKING OF DOLLY PARTON...

Tina Fey's talent literally knows no bounds. She claims to have gotten the part accidentally because it was shot during COVID and she was the only one around, but the fact that she nailed it anyway is incredibly cool. DESPITE THE FACT THAT SHE CLAIMS SHE DOESN'T DO IMPERSONATIONS...

Yeah, Tina Fey is the gift that keeps on giving.

   
• Ultimate Evil. I don't think I was ever going to be in the mindset to watch the documentary The Truth vs. Alex Jones, but I felt it important to watch so I did. I expected that my takeaway would be sympathy and heartache. It wasn't. It's all-consuming rage. On way too many fronts. Parents who lost their kids at Sandy Hook were already going through hell before Alex Jones started unlashing his fucked up lies and bullshit that had them constantly under attack. He doesn't just deserve to lose all his money, he should be in prison for what he did. Over and over again we hear about how the "absence of trauma helicopters" and how "the parents were acting like actors" was proof-positive of Sandy Hook being fake. How the fuck does any rational human being hear that and say "Yeah, that sounds about right!" and feel justified in screaming at grieving parents? Holy fucking shit. Who needs Satan as a symbol of ultimate evil? We have Alex Jones.

   
• The Willow World! This new Hulu Shōgun adaptation is not the book, but something... else. I've read the novel multiple times and fully admit some of the changes bother me a bit, but most of them do not. The series is its own thing, and I'm appreciating it for what it is instead of what it's not. It's interesting to me how the latest episode is spending a relatively huge amount of screen time in a brothel. But not for the reason you'd think. They are making an effort to contrast what a "brothel" is in Japan vs. what it is in the Western world. But they're doing so in a way which explains things that are happening in the story, albeit in abstract. It's all so beautiful and brilliant...

What I love most is that the series isn't married to simply following Anjin around. I'd argue that he's not even the main character of this series. He really isn't the focus of this episode... he's an accessory. A minor distraction that pops up from time to time. And it's a bold... very bold... tact to take. Ladies of the Willow World is an episode that is very much the calm before the storm, and I'm thrilled that it exists. This is what happens when you take your time and give yourself ten episodes instead of six. Because it makes the big picture so much more rewarding. This is exceptional, not-to-be-missed television.

   
• SO WOKE! I'm going to put this riiiiiight here...

   
• Polska! You guys... YOU GUYS... Netflix has a Polish rom-com streaming! — I swear, in a lot of ways, Polish rom-coms can out-Hallmark Hallmark. This one is called Nic na sile (No Pressure) and it has one of the guys from Uwierz w Mikolaja (I Believe in Santa) in it...

I wish there was a Polish streaming service with American subtitles here. Because I would stream the heck out of that! Good news if you're not into subtitles... Netflix has dubbed it into English if you want.

   
• Harrassment! Can somebody please explain the point of texts like this? I am not a Democrat. I never have been. I always support the best candidate regardless of party...

But if I were a Democrat, I wouldn't be after this harassment. I have texted STOP to this same exact text a dozen times. And each time I block the number. But they just use a different number and text me again and again and again. I have very few regrets in this life. But donating to every Democrat I could find in the 2019 midterms via ActBlue is one of them. I have been relentlessly hounded ever since. There is no way... none... to escape it. They text you no matter how many times you tell them to STOP... they text you no matter how many times you block their numbers. I just looked on my phone. I have 78 blocked numbers. Seventy-eight. To be fair, not all of them are from Democrats. But I bet most of them are. I bet a huge majority are. Because they never, ever stop. So good luck getting another fucking cent out of me via ActBlue. Fuck you and your dataset.

   
• Visibility! Um... before anybody gets their fucking panties in a bunch and start screaming "PICK ANOTHER DAY FOR TRANS VISIBILITY DAY... EASTER IS TAKEN!" You should know that Easter is on a different day each year, but Trans Visibility Day has been on March 31st since it was created in 2009. I swear, nobody loves to be persecuted more than Christians. They are constantly finding ways for their faith to be assaulted... even if it's not even happening. But anyway, happy International Transgender Day of Visibility! Especially to my trans friends who deserve to be seen when society is working overtime to try to erase them just for existing and being themselves.

   
On with your Sunday then...

Odds of a White Christmas are diminishing, but that's okay... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Scale! Unsure about your place in the universe? No worries! Turns out that you're actually the center of everything!

It's amazing how good Kurzgesagt videos are. When I see that they have something new out, I drop everything and watch it. They never disappoint. Case in point? If you have tattoos... or even if you don't... this is 1000% worth a watch...

I don't know why, but seeing this video just wants me to go get a new tattoo.

   
• Mapped! XKCD is usually good for a laugh, but this one made my brain do a flip-flop first...

The genius is that, at first glance, you don't see anything wrong. And, because I like you, I named the extra states...

I don't know about you, but we totally should have a state named "Steve."

   
• NEWSFLASH: Stanley Tucci Going Back to Italy After Nat Geo Signs Up Former CNN Host! Stanley Tucci is a national treasure. Mostly for his movie roles (including my all-time favorites in Undercover Blues and The Devil Wears Prada). But also for his dedication to food, thanks to his amazing series called Searching for Italy. I love the show... right up until CNN stupidly canceled it a year ago. Fortunately NatGeo knows a good thing when they see it, and will pick it up again. Now titling it The Heart of Italy. And I cannot wait.

   
• FAKE! In Tokyo there's a famous area called Kappabashi Dougu Street (AKA "Kitcen Town"). It's filled with restaurant supply vendors. Kitchen equipment, dishware, decoration... it's all there. But the best thing you can buy there is fake food. Unlike in this country, most restaurants have windows filled with fake food representations of the dishes you can buy inside, and a lot of time there are prices next to each one so you also know what it's going to cost you. It's a fascinating part of Japanese culture, and now there's a video showing how this amazing fake food it crafted...

Mesmerizing. I've been to Kappabashi-dori a few times to look at all the replicas, but I don't recall ever seeing the stuff actually made.

   
• JOKE-SWAP 2024! How do they get away with this...

Easily the best thing to come out of Weekend Update, it almost makes you wish this was a weekly feature.

   
• Queen Flight! I've mentioned several times how much I love film. I've also mentioned how I'm a massive fan of film analysis. My favorite person doing analysis being Thomas Flight. One of his most famous videos is a critique of "Best Editing Oscar Winner" Bohemian Rhapsody by John Ottman. If you are not one of the 2.9 million people who saw the video, it's worth a look...

As a massive Queen fan, I ran to the theater so I could see Bohemian Rhapsody on the big screen. And, yes, this crap scene took me right out of the movie because I got whiplash trying to follow it. How could it not? To me it was just as bad as hearing a fucking "Wilhelm Scream" and being jerked out of the story. But anyway... what I didn't know is that John Ottman responded to the criticism, and Thomas made a video about that...

Ultimately I loved the movie. It's hard not to if you're a Freddie Mercury and Queen fan. But that doesn't make it above criticism. That shouldn't make it above criticism. Especially when we're talking about the editing, which wasn't that great, regardless of circumstance and the chaos of the film's production.

   
• True Lauv! Facebook Memories are a mixed bag. Sometimes it's painful memories of times I'd just as soon not revisit, but often times there's something nice awaiting me. Like a happy event, funny video, or cool song. Like this music video from last year. Lauv really knows how to craft a hook...

Most of the time, however? My Facebook memories are crowded with posts about all the travel that used to occupy my time.

   
Only one more Bullet Sunday until Christmas! Hope your shopping is finished.

After Easter Sunday we're back to just another Sunday. BUT NOT REALLY... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Supertramp! The other day I was reminded of one of my favorite album covers, Supertramp's Breakfast in America from 1979. On top of having a great cover, the album had some great tracks on it. Tracks I haven't listened to in years. So I decided to play it. After iTunes displayed the album art, I wondered whatever happened to the woman who was in the photo. A quick Google search later, and I found out her name was Kate Murtagh and she passed away in 2017. Something else I found out? The album cover is one of those wild-ass conspiracy theories where there are people claiming that it predicted 9-11 because when you reverse it, 9 11 appears behind where the World Trade Center is at...

And it's like... whatever. Every coincidence has to mean something to people who don't have anything else going on, I guess.

   
• Perspective! This is a little bit of genius thinking (here is a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

Trying to be grateful for everything and anything is something to strive for. And this is a good reason to believe that.

   
• Johnny Reb! You're Probably Wrong About Confederate Monuments...

Or, maybe you're right.

   
• Defensive! Holy shit. This video is an hour. But it's worth your valuable time. Jon Stewart is an actual journalist. And getting to the truth is his only goal... and he will roast anybody, of any party, and of any position... to get to it. This is a master class in what journalists will strive for. Dang. You'd have to be very brave or very foolish to agree to be interviewed by Jon Stewart...

Good to know. Good to know.

   
• Chatty AI! This video explaining AI is 5 years old. From what I can tell, it was renamed to mention ChatGPT so that it would become relevant again. Despite the fact that it never was irrelevant...

We are moving towards a truly wacky time in human history.

   
• Easter is a Shade of Orange! I missed this last week, and I'm dead now...

It's like... he's more Trump than President Trump!

   
• Mindblowing Proteins! Holy crap!

The miracle of life is truly a miracle.

   
Enjoy what's left of your Sunday.

Christmas may be over, but the greatest gift of all is right here... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Snow! This is such a wonderful, beautiful, heartwarming video and I suggest you drop everything and watch it immediately...

You're welcome.

   
• More Snowy! We were supposed to get snow for a white Christmas here and, sure enough, it happened. I can't help but wonder how many of those we have left. The snowfall in recent years pales in comparison to what we got when I was young. And that pales in comparison to when my mom was a kid and people jumped off roofs into the snowfall. Thanks, climate change!

   
• Wonder? As my post yesterday elaborated, I absolutely hated the new Wonder Woman 1984 movie. It was a huge disappointment after the first one, and I wish I had never seen it. Then I read today that Patty Jenkins is getting another chance to either redeem herself or ruin the franchise further with a third Wonder Woman film. I guess since Diana is all about hope that I will hope for the best. It would certainly take a lot of effort to do worse.

   
• Two! I swear, if Coming 2 America disappoints me like Wonder Woman 1984, I may have to swear off movie sequels altogether...

It certainly looks like they made all the right moves. Guess we have to wait a few months and see.

   
• SANTA! And now I'll leave you with one of my favorite Christmas movie moments in any movie ever. Stephen Huszar's reaction to seeing Santa is the absolute best (even though the movie it's from "Mistletoe Magic" was pretty awful)...

Obviously hasn't lost his childhood enthusiasm for the holidays.

   
• Lexus! Though... I think the mom's reaction in this SNL parody commercial comes in at a close second...

Classic.

   
• Robe! And yet... there's Kristen Wiig's reaction in this SNL parody commercial...

Okay. I can't decide on a favorite. But probably Stephen Huszar's reaction to seeing Santa.

   
And that's my last Bullet Sunday of 2020.

Snow may be here but be of good cheer, because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• RAGNAROK! I haven't seen Thor: Ragnarok yet because life has been insane lately... but I will be doing so sometime soon. I hope. If you haven't seen it yet and want a spoiler-free experience, DO NOT watch the video below, which is somewhat spoilery, but hilarious...

Of course, the commercials are more spoilery than this, but, yeah.

   
• Tokyo! There are many places on this earth I feel at home in when I visit. Tokyo is one of those places. Which is strange, because it's a city on my list that's very much removed from my "normal." Maybe I lived there in a past life? I dunno. But I love it there. And because I love Tokyo, I also love films which feature the city (Lost In Translation is a great example). And now there's a short film called The Tokyo Project...

If you have HBO and a half-hour to kill, I highly recommend it. Clever story. Beautifully shot. Well worth your valuable time.

   
• Miyazaki! One of the many, many reasons I love Miyazaki films so much is the incredible attention to detail that goes into every frame. I watch them over and over and over because the wealth of details is something to be savored. Here's an Instagram by en93kitchen that focuses on the food in his films, and shows a side-by-side comparison to actual food that's been prepared to look like what's in the movie...

Amazing!

   
• Busted! Despite the fact that "Mr. Plinkett" is a fictional character (played by Red Letter Media's Mike Stoklasa) the movies analyzed under that monicker are, for the most part, spot-on. His reviews are as insightful as they are entertaining, and I've spent a lot of time watching the Red Letter Media YouTube channel. The latest Mr. Plinkett in-depth was for the Ghostbusters 2016 reboot. A film I mostly hated, but could never really articulate why. Luckily, I no longer have to try. It's nearly an hour long, but balls-on accurate and worth your valuable time...

That fact that the review also includes smart analysis of what made the original Ghostbusters so damn brilliant is just a bonus.

   
• What Happened? So... essentially you can take Hillary's book, rip out the pages, insert this Politico story, and then read What Happened for reals I guess? My loathing for Hillary Clinton is well documented. The fact that I was forced to vote for her because I didn't want a Trump presidency is something that enrages me to this day. The more information that comes out about how there is nothing "democratic" about the Democratic Party should shock nobody. That's the way politics work in this country. What should shock people is that nothing will be done and nothing will change. Ever. We just don't want it badly enough.

   
• Dip! I swear... Eric Trump discovering Fun Dip on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update" is one of the best thing I've seen all week...

Dies. Again.

   
It's the end of bullets as we know it...

It may be cold outside but it's warm in here, because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Miley! I've been a fan of Miley since Hannah Montana. Things like this are why...

I am so happy that she's moved past all the crazy-ass antics to focus on her actual talent. Looking forward to more Miley in the years ahead.

   
• Fight! Thought I'd get my money's worth out of CBS All Access and watch The Good Fight...

So THIS is what happens when you concentrate your efforts on 10 episodes per season instead of watering things down over 22. I admit that I was a bit let down by the final episode, but everything leading up to it was fantastic. Has me wanting to go back and watch The Good Wife, which I skipped the first time around.

   
• Papyrus! The season opener for SNL was awful... but THIS was genius!

I don't hate Papyrus as much as a number of other fonts, but it's overused and mis-used so often as to deserve a bit of hate.

   
• Japan! Speaking of SNL, I missed this bit of utter brilliance when it first aired. If you are a fan of the American version of The Office, here you go...

All the characters are pretty great impersonations of the originals, but Jason Sudeikis playing Jim is about as good as it gets. He is sorely missed on the show.

   
• NEWSFLASH: Saved by lesbian capitol officer, Rep. Scalise goes and speaks at anti-LGBT hate group convention...

Photo by Bill Clark / Getty

Because of course he did. Homophobia runs so deep in these assholes that not even a brush with death will give them a new perspective on life... ALL life... not just the unborn fetuses and Christians they profess to give a shit about.

   
• NEWSFLASH: “Pro-Life” Congressman Caught Telling His Extramarital Boo to Get an Abortion. And it's this asshole right here, Republican Representative Tim Murphy...

Photo by J. Scott Applewhite / AP

So...

Virulently anti-gay politicians end up caught in gay sex scandals, so why not? Virulently anti-drug politicians end up getting caught with drugs, so why not? Virulently anti-big-government politicians end up wanting to regulate every fucking thing they don't like, so why not? This is just more of the same fucking hypocrisy that drives me completely insane when it comes to our fucked up government. Fuck this asshole. He can't retire enough times.

   
So long for this week, Bullet Sunday.

Sure it's Easter, but there are other reasons to celebrate the day, because an all-new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Kitty! Everything I love about cats can be found in this one clip of a kitty trying to escape the field at a Marlins game...

What a trooper! Apparently a Marlins' employee adopted the cat, who was named "Don Cattingly" in a Twitter poll.

   
• Kedi! And, speaking of cats...

Can't believe I have to wait until November for this to come out on video!

   
• Atomic! Okay... putting aside the fact that the trailer for Atomic Blonde features music by both Depeche Mode and New Order... how badly does watching this make me want to see the movie?

Charlize Theron should be in a lot more movies.

   
• Ragnarok! Speaking of movie trailers... how amazing is the latest Thor movie looking?

I'm part of the minority who actually likes the Thor films. The first one was really great at establishing the characters. The second stumbled quite a bit, but was still entertaining. But this? Probably the best Thor yet. Possibly one of the best Marvel films yet.

   
• Spicey! Melissa McCarthy is hosting SNL on May 15th. I'm hoping it's just an hour-and-a-half of her impersonating Sean Spicer, playing out the best of his ongoing fuck-ups. Verbatim. In the meanwhile, we have yet another flawless sketch from last night's episode...

What a big, beautiful slice of chocolate cake.

   
• Politics! The more you know about how politics work in this country, the more you think that we should burn the entire system to the ground and start over...

Politicians don't act in the best interest of those they represent because they don't have to. That's the underlying reason we're as fucked as we are.

   
Now go eat some eggs, you animal.

You may be thinking that after 500 Bullet Sundays I'd be giving up! But never fear, because an all-new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Target! Well, shit! All this time I've been waiting for the Victoria Beckham collection to debut at Target. It finally drops, and I find out it's WOMEN ONLY! What the hell?!?

Oh well... I promised I'd buy something nice when it the Beckham Collection was released, and I'm going to keep that promise. Good thing it's at Target where I know I can use the bathroom after changing into my new frock de Posh Spice.

   
• Something For Everyone! I'm not going to weigh in on the dumbass Pepsi commercial bullshit with Kendall Jenner... everything that needs to be said about it has been said. I just wondered over and over how in the hell the concept managed to get greenlit in the first place. And now, thanks to Saturday Night Live, we have that insight...

Probably. Probably.

   
• THE FACTOR! And speaking of SNL... holy crap! Alec Baldwin not only has a terrific President Trump, but a flawless Bill O'Reilly as well!

If only he would permanently join the cast. I mean, seriously, SNL ratings are higher than ever, and he's a perfect fit.

   
• Dreamy! Somehow I missed this one?

I need more dream pop in my life.

   
• Hannity! Yeah. Just going to leave this right here...

Agenda-ramming asshole.

   
And... Bullets B Gone.

Thank heavens I'm taking half-a-day off work, because an all-new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Stop the Insanity! Make it permanent... abolish it... split the difference... I honestly don't give a fuck. Just make it so that we're not dicking around with the clocks twice a year. This stupid shit... this utter madness... has got to end...

Seriously. If Trump wants to do ONE FUCKING THING that will benefit humanity in a way that every other fucking thing he's done has not... GET RID OF THIS IDIOTIC BULLSHIT!!!

   
• Healthcare. Finally. Broken down so even I can understand it! The puzzling way Republicans want to replace the individual mandate, explained with a cartoon.

   
• Wonderful. Do I dare get my hopes up after DC has shit the bed so many times now?

It could be incredible. If... only if...

   
• Loneliness. A sobering article that makes for an interesting... albeit more than a little depressing... read: The biggest threat facing middle-age men isn’t smoking or obesity. It’s loneliness...

Illustration by Mario Zucca / Boston Globe

I don't know that I'm "lonely" so to speak. But most of the people I'm closest to don't live near me, and that can be difficult.

   
• Olive Garden. I had no business laughing at this as hard as I did. The whole concept of people in Olive Garden commercials acting like they've never seen a restaurant... or food... before, is epic...

I dare say that President Trump existing has made Saturday Night Live the funniest it's been in years. Even for sketches that don't feature President Trump.

   
• The Most Important Thing You'll See All Day. Yes. You can resist authority. In some cases, you're obligated to resist authority. Like when you are being lied to and your rights are being violated by authority. The video below is in three parts. Watch all three of them. Know your rights...

And here's a follow-up interview (good information, terrible sound)...

Have a phone with video capabilities? Film everything. Always film everything when it comes to the police. Even if you support the ideal of law enforcement (as I do)... Always. Film. Everything. Even when it's not happening to you. Because the police are not above the law and you just never know.

Note that the guy who filmed the video, Jesse Bright, tried to handle this without going public. All he wanted was an apology for having been lied to and illegally searched. Only after he was deterred at every turn did he released to video... not for personal gain, but to let everybody know what their rights are. He has no interest in any officers being punished or fired or anything. He just wants this critical information out there. Good for him.

I have a card in my wallet and in my car with the following statement:

Statement If Stopped or Questioned by Police or any Government Official
   
“Officer, I Assert My Fifth Amendment Rights As Stated On This Card”
   
Pursuant to the law, as established by the United States Supreme Court, my lawyer has advised me not to talk to anyone and not to answer questions about any pending criminal case or any other civil, administrative, judicial, investigatory or adjudicatory matter. Following his advice, I do not wish to talk to anyone about any criminal, civil, administrative, judicial, investigatory or adjudicatory matter, without my lawyer present. I waive no legal rights, nor give any consents, nor submit to any tests or other procedures, without my lawyer present. I ask that no one question or talk to me, without my lawyer here to advise me. I do not wish to answer any questions. I want to see my lawyer. Please call my lawyer immediately.
   
See: Miranda v. Arizona, 86 S.Ct. 1602, 384 U.S. 436 (1966), Maness v. Myers, 419 U.S. 449 (1975), Hoffman v. United States, 341 U.S. 479, (1951), Lefkowitz

Know. Your. Rights.

   
And now it's time to chew gum and vacuum. And I'm all out of gum...