I'm building build building this weekend, but I haven't forgot about you, dear reader... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• DestructiPad! Apple introduced their amazing new iPads in the worst way possible. To illustrate how this miracle device is capable of a huge number of creative endeavors, from music to art to research, they released a commercial where a massive hydraulic press squishes musical instruments, art supplies, and other physical tools into nothingness. And they let you see the destruction in excruciating, closeup detail...

Now, I get what they were trying to do... but holy shit. Who thought this ad which celebrates the death of physical creativity would be a good idea? The first thing I thought was "Do they not speak with foreign culture consultants before releasing their ads?" Because the first thing I thought of was... there are cultures where creative tools are revered, and destroying them like this is an unforgivable act. And, sure enough, the outrage was immediate. Particularly from Japan, where something like this is unforgivable. But it should anger anybody who thinks this kind of waste is senseless. Apple ultimately apologized, but it is crazy to me that they were so stupid as to do this in the first place. They could have animated it... or used cardboard cut-out representations... or anything where the actual objects weren't destroyed.

   
• MaxiPad! Tone-deaf commercial aside, the new iPads are incredble. The display, the power, the larger size, the new stylus... it's a digital creator's dram come true. I don't use my iPad enough to justify buying a new one (I have a 2020 iPad Pro), but was curious to know how much my ideal iPad configuration with accessories would cost. It's $2000... not including AppleCare. But no worries... Apple will give me $65 to trade in my old iPad Pro! Yikes. I'll just wait for the MacBook Pro M4, thanks.

   
• Exit! Okay. Dang. Sometimes short films have more impact per second than a multi-million dollar flick...

This brilliantly illustrates how a film doesn't necessarily have to take its time and build up characters into fully-realized people in order to be entertaining. Sure traditional long-form movies are my preferred way to experience a story, but running into something like this shows that it's not the only way to tell a story. If you haven't seen it yet, be sure to check out my last short film pick, Two Strangers Meet Five Times.

   
• THERE IT IS! And... scene...

Here's the thing: I have never had a desire to wear nail polish. It's never been my thing, even when I was into cultures where it was a part. But seeing all these snowflakes getting so triggered by FUCKING NAIL POLISH makes me actually want to start wearing it. The idea that guys can't accessorize their appearance without being trashed by the toxic masculinity brigade is absurd. Why the fuck are people so invested in what other people are doing with their appearance? Let them do them and you do you. It's not that hard to ignore shit that makes others happy that you wouldn't do for yourself.

   
• EXIT SLOW! Ah yes. The Union Street exit in Seattle. I have taken it many times. And have seen people nearly lose control many times. Never seen a crash... but I believe they happen often because of how it's designed. Some guy set up a camera to catch accidents of cars taking the exit too fast, and they do indeed happen often...

You'd think that people driving in an area that they are unfmiliar with would be following all suggested speed signs rather than ignoring them. Odds are, there's a reason that they tell you to slow way down.

   
• More Runner! One of my most favorite films of all time is Blade Runner 2049. It shocks me to this day that it wasn't a massive blockbuster success. This is the film that genius-director Denis Villeneuve made before his celebrated Dune films, and it's equally phenomenal. This week it was annonced that Amazon Prime Video is making a sequel series... WITH MICHELLE FUCKING YEOH!!! I gotta tell you, I have no idea when Blade Runner 2099 is going to happen, but I am already looking forward to seeing it. If it's even half as good as 2049, it will be well worth the wait.

   
• NEWSFLASH: Ted Cruz Called Automatic Airline Refunds a ‘Dumb Idea.’ Senators Disagreed. Do you think that if Ted Cruz blows enough airline executives he can take his next Cancún vacation for free? The refund is not immediate-immediate. It's only if your flight has been significantly delayed and you don't rebook another flight to replace it. The only thing this changes is that you don't have to fill out a bunch of paperwork and let the airline string your along forever... or issue you some stupid credit that you'll never use before it expires. Where the fuck does this boot-licker asshole come up with this outrageous shit? Do people even believe his ridiculous crap anymore? Ted Cruz is a fucking embarrassment, and the fact that he still has a job shocks the shit out of me. Republicans don't think that they deserve to get their money back with a minimum of inconvenience when they get fucked over by over-bookings or maintenance failures or whatever? Get real.

   
And now back to hammering...

Most all digital ads (certainly from those who sell ads as a business model like Facebook and Google) are using targeted ads exclusively now-a-days.

Which is to say that companies like Google and Facebook are tracking every site you visit and noting every link you click on across the entire internet. That way they can track your interests and needs and serve ads to you which have a better chance of triggering engagement. Companies pay them more money when people click on their ads, so it's a powerful motivator to make sure that every ad is as relevant as possible.

There are times that it most definitely backfires though.

Yesterday morning Facebook started serving up ads for Botox. Yes, Botox. That expensive stuff that causes temporary paralysis that people shoot into wrinkles and stuff in order to diminish them for a few months...

   
I have never in my life considered getting botulism injected into my face, so I was at a complete loss to understand why I was seeing these ads. Is it just because I'm now at an age where people start getting Botox? Did I click on something that convinced Facebook that I would be interested in getting Botox? Is Facebook watching me?!? Is the Facebook algorithm in the room with me right now looking at my face and thinking "Yeah, it's time for Botox now. Serve 'em up!"

The only thing I can think of is that I did click on two news stories warning people about home-brew "Botox" causing a botulism symptoms: Back Alley Botox a Bad Idea, Officials Warn... and Sketchy Botox Shots Spark Multistate Outbreak of Botulism-Like Condition. I guess that was enough for Facebook to think "Oh yeah. My guy is definitely wanting to get Botoxed! He clicked on two links with "Botox" in the headline, so what else could it be?"

After I ignored the ads, Facebook started getting serious. Because last night they started shoving ads at me that offered $50 OFF a treatment...

   
And then, when I started hiding ads for Botox, I started getting ads for the competition. Like this one from Juvéderm (which, thanks to the accent on the "e" there must be pronounced "Joo-Vay-Derm," not "Joo-Veh-Derm" as I would have thought, since it's clearly a riff on the word "rejuvenate" and stuff?)...

   
Interesting to note that these ads are definitely targeting me. Every ad I see with a person in it has a man. No women. As if to say "We know you want Botox, buddy, and it's totally a thing that men do... just look at the dudes in these ads!"

But the really interesting thing is that none of these dudes actually need Botox. They're all young, handsome, and flawless. But why? I guess it's a smart marketing tool. It's like "Holy shit! If these god-like men need Botox... then you must *really* need it, right?? DO IT! DO IT NOW! MAKE AN APPOINTMENT TODAY TO HAVE OUR SHIT INJECTED IN YOUR MANLY FACE AND SAVE $50! — IT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO TO SAVE SOCIETY FROM HAVING TO LOOK AT YOUR HEINOUS MUG! — PLUS... THE LADIES WILL TOTALLY LOVE THE NEW BOTOX YOU, SO IF YOU TAKE AWAY ONE THING FROM THIS AD, LET IT BE THIS: BOTOX=PUSSY!"

Sadly, no amount of Botox will save my face, even if I could afford it.

I actually would like a nice case of botulism though. You get to stay home from work for that, right?

Hulu forces me to choose between commercials for KitKat or Reeses... then, after I finally choose one so I can get to my fucking show... THEY SHOW ME A COMMERCIAL ABOUT BOTH BECAUSE "I DESERVE BOTH!"

Fuck Hulu for wasting my time with a non-choice. And definitely fuck the assholes at KitKat and Reese's for coming up with a stupid-as-shit ad campaign which wastes people's fucking time and actually makes me hate products I used to love.

Fire your fucking advertising agency for being obscenely fucking stupid. Who thought this was a good idea?

As I've mentioned more than a couple times, I'm a huge fan of advertising. GOOD advertising. Bad advertising sucks and is just torture while you're waiting for your TV show to come back on. Good advertising makes you forget that your show has been rudely interrupted.

Good advertising has to have some kind of emotional connection. For me that's usually animals. If you can work animals into your advertising then I'm probably going to like it.

Something else that works? A really good jingle. Which doesn't necessarily have to be a good song. Case in point...

Kind of atrocious, but infinitely memorable. Thus incredibly effective as a jingle.

But when the song is actually good?

A current commercial that surprises me with just how much of a banger the song is comes along with Daisy Sour Cream. I mean, seriously, just listen to this...

Genius. There's a moment where the song catches itself... then forges forward even harder. For sour cream!

And it works. All other things being equal (meaning there's not a massive sale on another brand), the sour cream I always buy is Daisy, and every time I pick it up at the store, this jingle is running through my head.

So hats off to the advertising team that managed to come up with this. I'm not saying that I rewind to rewatch the commercial when I hear it... but I don't fast forward past it either.

That's about the best you can hope for in advertising.

Living where I do, you always live in dread of hearing the words "LEVEL 3 EVACUATION ISSUED". Just in case you are blessed to live in an area without wildfires, LEVEL 1 is the Get Ready level where you should start keeping a very close eye on the local fires because you could be in danger of evacuation. LEVEL 2 is the Get Set level where you start packing up your crap, gassing up the car, and generally be ready to evacuate at a moment's notice. LEVEL 3 is the Go Level where your life is in imminent danger if you don't get the heck out of dodge.

I have been in a LEVEL 3 twice. The first time I wasn't at home, so it was no big deal to up and leave the area. I got in a line of slow-moving cars and drove back to my house. The second time was much more serious. Once we hit LEVEL 3, absolutely everybody had left the area except me. I stayed behind running around my apartment building putting out ember fires so that my apartment wouldn't catch fire. Part of the time I was on the roof with a bandana tied around my nose and mouth so I could spot problems easier. After a couple hours, the fire department told me that it had gone way past dangerous, and I had to leave. Because I had stayed behind and "bravely fought to save my home" they promised that they would do their best to make sure it hadn't been for nothing. And they totally did. Other than smoke damage, the building only had a few spots on it.

Yesterday some places in the Lake Chelan region hit LEVEL 3. As I heard the advisory start screaching through everybody's mobile phones, I got that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomache that I always get.

Fast forward to today and all the evacuations have been downgraded and the bulk of the fire had been halted at around 20 acres lost. They still don't know how it started. Though I keep getting lightning alerts from my little weather station, so I guess that could be a possibility.

In Other News...

As a child of the 80's, I remember very well The Cold War... and Mikhail Gorbachev's "openess reforms" (гласность, a.k.a. Glasnost) which effectively ended it. Having lived through my entire childhood with nuclear war being a distinct possibility, it was nice to think that... just maybe... things had deescalated enough that the world could breathe a little easier knowing that catastrophic annihilation had been (temporarily, alas) pushed aside even a little bit.

Gorbachev's actions were wildly controversial. And nowhere more so than in the Country Formerly Known as the Soviet Union itself. Now that he has died at 91 years of age, I've seen his пицца хат (Pizza Hut) commercial making it's way through the internets...

If there's one short video which can sum up what Gorbachev in the 1980's was about to American audiences today... it's probably this commercial. I am still amazed that he agreed to actually do it. Which makes me kinda like him, because I love it when powerful people aren't above poking fun at themselves. Humor is a basic human condition, and willing to be the subject of it to better relate to those who are not powerful people... well... it just shows that you still have some humanity left in you. And that goes double when you allow the humor to be coupled with any amount of criticism towards your policies.

Probably why I'm such a fan of the White House Correspondents Dinner. Just the fact that an American president would dare to take part is pretty amazing when you think about it (well, when they actually do take part).

And I know this is a bit cliché... but now I actually want Pizza Hut. I'm all too easily susceptible to suggestion.

No, I didn't want the Super Bowl. I don't give a crap about football. The only sports I have any interest in are baseball (GO RED SOX!) and hockey (GO BLACKHAWKS!). Which is not to say that I have no interest in the Super Bowl itself, because the commercials and half-time show are always a lot of fun.

The half-time show was amazingly great. Not Prince level-great (how could it be?), but I thought it was extremely well done and the performances were fantastic. Epic even.

But of course all the news today was either about how Snoop Dogg smoked a joint before he went on stage...

...or how Eminem kneeled...

Image from Mike Segar @ Reuters

...or how Mary J. Blige was showing thigh in her costume choice...

Image from Kevin C. Cox @ Getty Images

...or how Dr. Dre sang the lyric "still not loving police" in his song Still D.R.E....

Image Credit Unknown (taken from Rolling Stone)

To which I can only respond...

• Snoop Dogg is always high. He in no way has ever concealed this, so when you book him for a gig you can count on him performing high. That's how he does what he does. Nobody should be shocked. Feel free not to watch the Super Bowl ever again if this offends you.
• It's a free country. Eminem is going to do what he's going to do. So stop acting like he took out a gun and shot people during the snow. He took a knee. That's it. And I find it incredible to have to repeat the fact that Colin Kaepernick ASKED VETERANS THE MOST RESPECTFUL WAY TO PROTEST WITHOUT DISRESPECTING THE FLAG OR THEIR SERVICE, AND TAKING A KNEE WAS WHAT HE WAS TOLD. So everybody can just calm the fuck down. This form of protest was endorsed by the only people who should give a shit. And Eminem expressing his beliefs and opinions are exactly what this country is supposed to be about. Feel free not to watch the Super Bowl ever again if this offends you.
• As for Mary J. Blige. Are you fucking serious? People wear FAR less than this at a public pool. She looked spectacular and her outfit was not the least bit problematic. If people want to feel otherwise, then go right ahead. It's a free country. So feel free not to watch the Super Bowl ever again if this offends you.
• Dr. Dre is able to express his experience just like everybody else, and if he has a platform to do so, then why should he give a crap if some people won't like it? Answer? HE SHOULDN'T! Elon Musk and other billionaires do and say stuff which offends me all the time and people praise them for it... but Dr. Dre should be treated differently? Fuck no. None of the words he used were profanity. And condemning him over what he feels and what has experienced is absurd. Go ahead and be offended. Refuse to buy his music. You do you. But understand they he gets to do him too. And, oh yeah... feel free not to watch the Super Bowl ever again if this offends you.

I didn't look very hard, but I'm sure that Kendrick Lamar and 50 Cent were lambasted over something. They're Black men in America, which means somebody somewhere is pissed off about it. That (along with death and taxes) is a certainty. And all the more reason they deserve to be performing at the Super Bowl. And probably should have been a long time ago.

Anyway...

When it comes to the commercials, there were a few that got me. My hands-down favorite was The Sopranos remix with the kids reenacting the show opening...

It doesn't feel like a Super Bowl without a Budweiser commercial that makes you want to bawl your head off...

The star power in the Planet Fitness ad was great. And the way that Lindsay Lohan is willing to poke fun at herself just makes me love her all the more (I fell back into love with her again after her response to a Cameo request)...

I love anything with Salma Hayek... but it was the surprise appearance by Arnold that made this commercial so much fun...

I could listen to Morgan Freeman read the telephone book and be completely entertained, so hearing him in this terrific ad for Turkish Airlines was great...

The Alexa ad by Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost was seriously funny...

Probably the most important and heartwarming commercial was for the Google Pixel 6 phone, which works to take amazing photos of you... no matter your skin tone. And I'm sure that Google will be accused of being "too woke" or some other such bullshit because a lot of white people will be saying "I don't know what Black people are complaining about!" because this is a non-issue FOR THEM... but imagine how important this is for persons with dark skin tones who have had to live with their photos turning out crappy because nobody ever bothered to try and make them look good? Wonderful. And how the world should be...

Runner up to most important commercial is a commentary on the insane divide of this country and how people will go at each other throats over shit that doesn't matter...

So... all in all... not a bad slate of ads that I actually wanted to watch. Effective advertising seems like a lost artform (99% of commercials are shit and don't make me want to do anything except ignore them, skip them, or not buy the product), so it's nice that somebody somewhere knows how to do it right.

COVID may be spiking again, but you're never really alone when stuck at home... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Air! When I saw this Emirates commercial, I assumed it was made with computer effects...

But NOPE!

I would crap myself to death if I even attempted this.

   
• FINALLY! Netflix has finally allowed us to disable the annoying as shit "ARE YOU STILL WATCHING" screens that pop up. Not sure if it's just for the current session or not (I'm assuming so), but I'll take what I can get. This is monumentally stupid. IF I WEREN'T STILL WATCHING, WHY WOULD BE TELEVISION BE ON?!?

The lapse in logic just boggles the mind.

   
• CODA! Apple's original film, CODA (Children of Deaf Adults) is fantastic, and you should go watch it immediately...

As if Ted Lasso wasn't reason enough to subscribe to AppleTV+

   
• Brand Management. Well, this is heartbreaking...

It's frickin' 2021. Who gives a shit what another person's sexuality is? IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! And the idea that you can't hang out with LGBTQ persons because it will "affect your brand?" How does that even make sense to rational-thinking humans? But here we are.

   
• WANG! There are few things I love more than discovering a new comedian that's hilarious in all the right ways and somebody I hadn't heard of before... Phil Wang's new special Philly Philly Wang Wang on Netflix is EXACTLY THAT...

Highly recommended.

   
• Modern! I read reviews that made me take a pass on Modern Love... but then I heard somebody talking about how much they are enjoying the second season and decided to give it a try. I really like this one. The first season was wonderful, and the first episode of the second is my favorite yet...

Worth a look if you have Amazon Prime and have a box of Kleenex available.

   
• Setting Sail! The show is good... and the theme song is really good...

It's Love, Victor all over again!

   
And now back to your regularly-scheduled pandemic.

You're probably watching sportsball today, but I've got your touchdown right here... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• BAT! My new ritual for Sportsball Sunday is to watch the Superb Owl episode of What We Do In The Shadows...

Far more entertaining that football could ever be.

   
• Make Mine Marvel! Finally. Exactly what I'm looking for in a Marvel Studios Disney+ series...

I'm assuming that they're not going to waste our time with three episode parodying 48 Hours, Lethal Weapon, and Rush Hour before actually getting to the action. And speaking of action... how amazing is it to see Sharon Carter (AKA Agent 13) kicking copious amounts of ass in this trailer?

   
• Beer! The Superb Owl commercials were mostly a bust this year for me. Except one. This is one of the best straightforward commercials I've seen in a long time...

It bypasses special effects and slick marketing to go with something much more intimate and human. And it works really well, accomplishing what commecials costing boatload more money can't. Bravo, David Fincher.

   
• Plague! As a long-time fan of Adam Ellis and his illustrated comics and stories, I was 100% unsurprised to learn that somebody made a shot-for-shot film adaptation... without asking for permision... of one of his stories...

I'm unsurprised because this shit happens CONSTANTLY. I've had my works stolen more times than I can count... for everything from business logos and remakes of my DaveToons to outright plagiarism where they erase my copyright and present it as their own work to promote their sites and products. There was a shop in the UK that printed out one of my cartoons to fill AN ENTIRE WINDOW DISPLAY and never responded to my emails once I was made aware of it. And don't even get me started on my photos. Those have been stolen so often that I had to stop putting hi-res images online, which was brought about because some asshole used one of my shots to promote a homophobic message of hate that really hit me hard. 95% of the time when people ASK me to use something, I am happy to say yes with the understanding that it's for non-profit use that doesn't promote hate-speech. But since I don't make any money off of my stuff, if YOU are, then I want to get PAID.

This right here from Adam Ellis is one of the worst and most egregious rip-offs I've ever seen. And the fact that the people who STOLE HIS WORK then asked him to promote it... and even blew him off when he asked them to remove their theft... is abhorrent. I hope he sues because he has a very good chance of winning. SOME of us should actually get justice for having our work stolen. This is rage-inducing. But what's even more rage-inducing? The response from the filmmakers after Adam's post went viral, essentially saying that they tried to contact Adam (right), but when he "didn't respond" they decided to steal his work anyway. Except because they added stuff to the story, they don't consider it to be really stealing. And since the concept of man being created from the earth has been told forever, then they have a right to tell it. Even if it rips off the way Adam interpreted it completely. So by that logic I guess I could rip them off by making a shot-for-shot remake of their film and they would be perfectly fine with that?

   
• I AM SEEN! And I don't think that I've ever felt more attacked!

Pretty much... me.

   
• Olive Garden? When it comes to eating out, I'm not the biggest fan of Olive Garden. It's okay... and there are certainly some dishes I like there... but it's not terribly authentic and I would prefer to make my own Italian at home. The exception is their salad and breadsticks. In fact, most every time I go there, it's not for the pasta... it's for that neverending salad and breadsticks. A while ago I found that they started selling their "Signature Italian" salad dressing in the grocery store. I bought a small bottle to try, absolutely loved it, and have been buy the big bottles two at a time so I never run out...

It makes salad become frickin' dessert. And it's made me start experimenting with making my own breadsticks. At first I thought it shouldn't be too difficult. It's just a basic bread slathered with butter and garlic salt. But they're surprisingly tricky to make the same, because th sticks at Olive Garden have a fluffy texture to them. I'm guessing it's because of some kind of dough additive, but I'm not giving up just yet. If Olive Garden ever releases frozen sticks at the grocery store that bake up the same, I may never go to their restaurants ever again.

   
• Population! I found this fascinating...

At some point mankind will understand that resources are finite and the planet is being destroyed. Then they will either do something about it... or they won't. The universe won't care one way or the other. Humanity, of course, will care quite a lot.

   
And that's my last touchdown.

Christmas is coming, but there's magic happening tonight... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Hallmarked! And... tonight was the last new Hallmark Christmas movie of 2020. I've watched and reviewed them all, as usual, of course. Now I just need to wade through a bunch of the other movies from Lifetime, Netflix, and such, and I'm done for another year. Surprisingly, I think this was the best year in a while. Even so, I'm done. I've been Hallmarked out. Until next year.

   
• RickVertising! If I was a company, I'd have Rick & Morty do all my advertisements...

Serious bang for your buck.

   
• Adopt! Speaking of ads... why is it that I can watch all the so-called "emotional" movies and not get emotional, but a commercial like this has me struggling to keep it together?

Just weird, I guess.

   
• Tater! Please tell me that I'm not the only one who has tried Martha Stewart's baked potatoes. Take LARGE YUKON GOLD potatoes... NOT russets... DO NOT poke holes in them. DO NOT oil or butter. Put a wire rack on the middle rack of your oven (so potatoes don't fall through) then bake at 325º for 90 MINUTES. DO NOT OPEN THE OVEN TO CHECK. Just have faith. — After cooking, smash them on a counter, pry apart, then add your favorite topping (I went with salt, pepper, butter, sour cream, and chives). — Remarkable. So creamy it's more like dessert than a potato. And that paper-crispy skin is like candy. Truly the best baked potatoes I've ever had. I won't be making them any other way ever again.

   
• Jangle! I am not into musicals, or fantasy, or kid films... so I've been putting off Jingle Jangle on Netflix. That being said, the production values and costume design? Holy. Shit. This may very well be the most beautiful film I've ever seen. I will be very disappointed if no rewards are won. Even the smallest details are fully realized... and EVERYWHERE...

Worth watching (on Netflix) just for the visuals.

   
• Cop Doctors! One of the most demented (and hilarious) shows to ever air on television was Children's Hospital on Adult Swim (you can watch on Hulu, I believe). I just found out today that Netflix had a spin-off series with a lot of the same cast that aired back in January...

I binged the entire season and loved it. Boy I hope we get another season.

   
• Swap! I look forward to this every year. It never disappoints. I just wish they did even more of it...

Poor Colin. Though I won't feel too sad. He does get to go home to Scarlett Johansson.

   
And that's a wrap. See you after Christmas!

Time may wait for no one, but time definitely waits for this blog... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Wonder Max! And so... Wonder Woman 84 is coming to HBO Max on Christmas Day. And I will absolutely be subscribing to HBO Max for a month to watch it. My enthusiasm for theaters has lessened more and more over the years thanks to rude people talking on phones and texting... theaters not replacing projector bulbs when they start to dim... and the absurd cost of snacks. The only time I ever go to theaters are to watch the latest Marvel Studios films or when invited by friends. I'm MUCH happier watching at home. And yet... some of the big budget films (like Marvel Studios movies) rely on box office revenue to justify the money investment. If theaters go under because they can't wait out the pandemic, what does that mean for the movies I love?

Still... kudos to HBO Max for not charging extra to see the film like Disney+ did with Mulan.

   
• Maximum! The advertising "feud" between Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman keeps getting better...

But they've been pretty funny in their own ads as well...

Even when they appear in each other's ads...

And let's not forget Ryan's ad from last Christmas...

If only all of Hollywood put such effort into their charity endeavors.

   
• Hallmark? Let's see...
Big city executive goes back to their small town for Christmas: ✓ CHECK!
Small town has an unbelievably wholesome and cheesy name: ✓ CHECK!
White cast, but Person of Color best friend: ✓ CHECK!
Runs into some country hick that gets dismissed: ✓ CHECK!
Country hick has unexpected depth that city-slicker was too ignorant to see: ✓ CHECK!
Christmas romance ensues: ✓ CHECK!
Man and woman live happily ever after: WAIT ONE DANG MINUTE!!!

Not Hallmark after all... Paramount Network.

   
• Life Day! I am old enough that I actually saw the original Star Wars Holiday Special back in 1978 when it aired on television. Back then it was the only new "Star Wars" available since the movie was released the previous year. It was horrifically bad. Phenomenally horrifically bad. Forty-two years later and LEGO is giving us an all new version...

While nothing great, it's darn clever... mashing up all the various Star Wars characters throughout space and time. It's also funny. And far, far, better than the original live-action version. That's LEGO for you.

   
• Muties! I detested the FOX X-Men movies. They were all pathetic cash-grabs that in no way lived up to the promise of the comic book source material. I did like X-Men: First Class and kinda liked The Wolverine, but that's it. Everything else was garbage. When it comes to The New Mutants, I was a fan of the comic book during its Claremont and Sienkiewicz run. The movie is very loosely inspired by their "Demon Bear Saga" story arc from The New Mutants 18-20...

What was promoted as a super-hero horror flick wasn't very scary at all. I was 100% bored and regret having spent $6 to rent the thing. It's mostly just angsty teens calling each other "bitch" and "asshole." What a waste. But, as the final film from the whole FOX Marvel super-hero era, why did I expect it to be anything else?

   
• Do You Know Bo? As good as The Mandalorian was in its first season, it's really knocking things out of the park in the second season. The most current episode is the best thing to come out of Star Wars since The Empire Strikes Back. I won't spoil it. But I will say that LAST week's episode was incredibly rewarding. Especially if you watched The Clone Wars and Rebels cartoons...

Look, there's some things that don't quite add up with Bo-Katan, I am fully admitting this. But can we just be happy that she made the leap from animation to The Mandalorian? Can't we just be grateful that Katee Sackhoff was asked to play the character since she was the voice in the original cartoons? Can't we just assume that some things about her appearance won't be explained, and we'll just have to fill in the gaps with TV magic or something? Because, I gotta say, her showing up caused me to squeeeee my ass off. In The Big Picture this works just fine. Don't get caught up on too many of the tiny details... just enjoy it.

   
And that's enough bullets for me. I'm out of time after all.