HBO... also known as "Home Box Office" to people like me who grew up with it... started as a premium channel that you could add to your cable subscription package for an additional fee. It offered movies, specials, and other stuff at a time before VHS video tapes existed. The concept was hugely successful, and so other premium channels followed... Showtime... Cinemax... The Movie Channel... and more.

Over the years HBO has kept up with the times by having a streaming on-demand channel, which was originally called "HBO Now." They also had a version of this for their cable subscribers called "HBO Go." But, in the end, no matter where you went to consume their content, it was still HBO.

But then everything got rolled together and became "HBO Max."

And then something remarkable happened.

HBO, one of the most recognized brands in existence, decided to call themselves "Max."

I have no idea what dumbfuck came up with the idea to bury such a well-known brand by dropping the actual branding from the brand... but it was one of the stupidest advertising decisions I've ever seen. Companies would kill for the brand recognition that HBO had developed over the past 50+ years. They'd kill for it.

And HBO just threw it away.

When I got back from vacation on Saturday I saw a news story which said that "Max" was going to rebrand as "HBO Max" again, because people didn't seem to know what the fuck "Max" was. Which is why I never referred to it as "Max" ever. I always called it "HBO Max" because that way people actually know what the fuck I'm talking about.

I understand better than most that sometimes difficult decisions have to be made and the people in charge have to bite the bullet and make it for better or worse. But you'd think... you'd really think... that they would at least try to educate themselves about the decisions they make to keep from having a painfully obvious fuck-up. Especially when millions of dollars are at stake. "Brand recognition" is not some abstract concept. And anybody who's in charge of making decisions for a company at such a high level as HBO branding should fucking understand that concept.

But they didn't, and HBO paid the price.

Now they're trying to roll back this laughably catastrophic decision in an attempt to salvage the brand that they tossed in the trash.

Well, good luck with that.

Fortunately for them there were people like me who were ignoring their whole "Max" fiasco and keep the brand alive on their behalf (and I'm not alone... a lot of people and media outlets continued to call it "HBO" long after it had been rebranded). The problem for HBO (or, more accurately, their owner, Warner Bros. Discovery) are people during the past two years who don't know what the fuck "HBO" is because they've ever known the service as "Max."

And don't even get me started on the fifty buckets of stupid that is the name "Warner Bros. Discovery." Jesus. Who the fuck gives a shit about Discovery? Why rename your entire company to add something that has ridiculously poor brand recognition? The channel is still "Discovery" so what the fuck does that have to do with Warner Bros.?!? God... I just... HEY, DUMBASSES, I CAN CONSULT WITH YOUR BRANDING FOR FAR LESS MONEY THAT YOU'RE LOSING WITH ALL THESE SHITTY DECISIONS! CALL ME!

As I mentioned yesterday, I was mad that the new faucet I bought was opposite in operation from the faucet that it replaced... despite being the same brand, Kohler! It was also opposite of every other single-handle faucet I've ever used where the HOT water is away from you and the COLD water is nearest to you. Which only makes psychological sense, because you'd want the more dangerous option to be the furthest away.

I thought I might be crazy in my expectations, so I posted the following photos to Facebook and asked which they would expect to dispense hot water. The overwhelming majority said that the left photo was the correct photo.

Except when it comes to the dipshits at fucking Kohler, where it's not.

A part of me wonders how shit like this happens. Is there like one designer guy who makes all the decisions and just doesn't give a shit? There's no quality assurance person there to say "Whoa! All our other faucets have the hot water dispensed when the handle is away from you! Let's fix that!"

I still don't know if I will swap the lines to the opposite way that they've been marked on the hoses. I'll wait until my ribs are mostly healed again to decide. Though I suppose I should ask fucking Kohler if there's some ramification from correcting their stupid fucking mistake by switching things up. Could be that there's a special gasket for the hot water and running it through the cold water part will void your warranty or some such stupid bullshit.

And now I'm fucking furious all over again.

This is bullshit.

I'm too tired to blog, but I can't seem to let it go... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Yes, Ma'am! I ADORE Dolly Parton... but I also love Post Malone. He seems so genuinely kind. Every interview I've ever seen with Posty is wonderful. And he extends Dolly the respect she's due, which scores all the points...

Doesn't hurt that he's got some truly wonderful tracks under his belt. Including this banger with Dolly herself...

Incredible that Dolly can still belt them out with the best of them.

   
• Famous! I was very sad to learn that Wally (Famous) Amos has died...

I loved his cookies and buy them often. But on top of being a cookie master, he seemed like a genuinely nice man who had some real wisdom to him. Always sad when we lose a light like Famous Amos.

   
• 私は日本人が大好きです! This gentleman is a perfect example of why I adore the Japanese people. He's very diplomatic and generous when rating the American sushi... even though it's not actual sushi...

Not joking... I could watch videos like this for hours and hours. I really need to get back to Japan for a visit one of these days. I used to go fairly often but haven't been in years and years.

   
• Money Well-Spent! Targeting marketing on Facebook is usually so bad. It's either targeting me with something I don't give a shit about and should have never been shown... or it's crap like this...

That's not Chelan County, you stupid fucks. That's King County. Chelan County is across the mountains in Redneckistan. My comment on the post...

How can I trust anything you say when you don't even know where the area is that you're targeting? I never click on this shit.

   
• HEADLINE: Californians can soon add driver’s licenses and state IDs to Apple Wallet! Of course they will! And where's tech-backwards Washington State? Killing bills which would give us digital licenses!

Thanks again to Maria Cantwell and Patty Murray for continuing to prove that they need to be voted out of office for not taking us into the future... but tying our necks to boat anchors in the past! I am fucking livid that Washington State politicians are so fucking worthless.

   
• HEADLINE: Brian Cox Says Cinema Is In “a Very Bad Way”, Cites Marvel, ‘Deadpool & Wolverine’: “It’s Become Party Time.” Today's "Old Man Yells at Cloud" moment... courtesy of Brian Cox. These short-sighted morons always fucking blowing it out their ass over something they don't understand. WITHOUT MARVEL, WHERE WOULD CINEMA EVEN BE? Marvel movies are keeping theaters open so that the art films he's pining for have a cinema to actually play in! Without Marvel Studios, a lot more theaters would likely have closed a lot earlier because cinema has been dying for years now that people can get a "good enough" experience at home. AND THEN... Cox played Stryker in one of those truly awful X-Men flicks, so... yeah... YOU'RE PART OF YOU'RE OWN PROBLEM, MY DUDE!

   
• Miss Jackson, if You're Disgusting! I don't wish anybody ill will. I honestly don't. Even a complete ass like Victoria Jackson deserves compassion. I am truly sorry that her cancer has returned. And I would never tell anybody how they should deal with such news. THAT BEING SAID... it is horrific that she choses to mock the multitudes of people who died after getting COVID. She can be a dumbass COVID denier all she wants. But I am all too familiar with the many work colleagues in Italy who were desperate to save lives as the hospitals maxed out and people had to be turned away... essentially waiting to die because overworked doctors and nurses couldn't keep up. Those early days were horrifying. And it didn't get any better as people started dying in vast numbers around the world as the pandemic took hold. So fuck you, Victoria Jackson. You must have a truly evil heart to make a punchline out of such tragedy...

I wish you well with your cancer battle, but that's all I have for you. There's nothing else I'm willing to give. If there's anything left in you that gives a shit for others, I hope you'll use your remaining time on this earth reflecting on just how awful you are and try to do better.

   
• Parts! I've watched RuPaul's Drag Race since... Season 03 I think? (but I've seen all episodes, of course). This morning I've been watching Trixie Mattel's documentary Moving Parts and was shocked to see that the queens in the Drag Race finale don't know who actually wins until the finale airs. Which means that they film multiple endings with each queen "winning" and then they edit the show to reflect who actually won. Mind. Blown.

This documentary is actually a tough watch. It was meant to document Trixie before and after Drag Race All Stars (which she won)... but ultimately a big chunk of it was the fallout of Katya's substance abuse. I was amazed that they would share some of the awful things that Katya said... but it turns out that Katya wanted it in the documentary. Because she's incredible like that. So grateful that she and Trixie made up and went on to do so many great things together. A comedy duo unlike any other that has made my life better just by existing. Highest possible recommendation for Moving Parts. Just $3 to rent.

   
Blergh. I need a blogcation.

Jerry Seinfeld came out bemoaning that he "wouldn't be able to make Seinfeld today" because of the "extreme-Left" and "PC crap" has killed comedy. I think I might have laughed for a solid five minutes.

What the fuck is it with these irrelevant assholes who think that they can suddenly become relevant by having a stupid fucking take that's so far outside of reality that it has people questioning whether or not it's time to induce dementia medication? Nothing quite like announcing to the entire fucking world that you are so old and set in your ways that you can't evolve with the times.

Seinfeld out here acting like Ted Lasso doesn't exist. Jesus.

The thing that really kills me is that the co-creator of Seinfeld, Larry David, just ended an epic run on his post Jerry gig that was killing it season after season. I was not a huge fan of Curb Your Enthusiasm, but they must have been doing something right to go for TWELVE FUCKING SEASONS.

COMEDY: NOT SO DEAD AS WE WERE LEAD TO BELIEVE.

And then I ran across this TikTok that pointed out something I hadn't even thought of... It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which wrapped its 16th season and is coming back for a 17th... seems to have zero problems continuing it's particular brand of comedy in this "Comedy is Dead" era...

   
Why can't these idiots just roll around in their piles of money and stop embarrassing themselves like this? I mean, it's not faling asleep then farting yourself awake in the middle of your hush-money-for-adultery trial, but it's pretty close.

It's the time for April... fools?

Every once in a while I fall down a flat earth rabbit hole, knowing full well that I'll be saying "What the fuck?" at least a hundred times.

And this time around it all started because somebody commented "Nobody believes the earth is flat. You're just being trolled." and I'm like "Holy shit! Somebody actually believes that flat earthers don't exist?!? Obviously they don't get out enough, because flerfers are everywhere, and invest huge amounts of time defending their beliefs with "irrefutable proof" (that's neither irrefutable nor proof).

The insanity surrounding the impending eclipse just makes it all the more mind-blowing. Eclipses occurr where and when scientists say they do because of a model which involves a globe earth. They can literally show you how the calculations work so you can see how they arrive to their conclusions. And yet... people will look at all that and be "Nah, it's flat."

Even when they fail to prove it themselves. As with my favorite flat earth video of all time, which is a whopping one minute and seven seconds long...

Uh huh.

Meanwhile there are people saying that the National Guard being deployed for the eclipse is proof positive of the government knowing it's the End of Days... when, in fact, it's just because the expected influx of people to the totality zone (along with people trying to watch the eclipse while driving) makes for a potentially dangerous situation that local resources simply cannot handle.

And of course CERN has decided to fire up the Large Hadron Collider on the same day of the eclipse to drive the tin-foil hat brigade off the rails.

Now THAT'S trolling. Expert level.

If somebody would throw a science text book into Alabama, that would be great. Preferably science book on tape, as it seems lawmakers are not much into reading words in those learnin' books.

And while we're on the subject, I thought it was unlikely that politicians could be more fucking stupid and willfully ignorant than the likes Lauren Boebert, Louie Gohmert, and Majorie Taylor Green. But then along comes fucking Tommy Tuberville and it's all "Hold my beer." Jesus.

We have seriously got to have a basic competency test for all political condidates before they can even get on the ballot. I mean, critical thinking skills would be nice... but right now I'd settle for not being as dumb as a box of fucking rocks.

I find it hilarious how the same people losing their fucking minds over T-Swifty and T-Rav are the same people who reminisce so fondly back to their high school days when the lead cheerleader dated the captain of the football team... assumably because that was indicative of a cleaner, more wholesome age when "men were men, women were women," and nobody was "woke." Plus they're both white, so isn't this is literally their wet dream?

And of course all the people who have nothing but horrible things to say about Taylor Swift are all of a sudden "concerned" for her because Travis Kelce was filmed yelling at his coach to put him in the game after a fumble (or whatever). It was absolutely nothing, which is why the uproar is so silly. But I do like the memes that have come out of it...

And, while we're on the subject... you cannot foster a killer attitude of dominance at all costs in a sport which has the players going out on the field to beat up on each other, and not expect to see something like this. This was literally one of the most important games Kelce will ever play, and adrenaline and emotions are running hot. This is how he has been conditioned to act to make him a more brutal athlete. It's what his coach expects from him. Yes, it's not very sportsman-like. Yes, it's out of line. But all these people acting all shocked over it genuinely puzzle me. This is football.

Not that Taylor Swift is immune to stupid shit...

Lord. Another day, another triggered snowflake who has no clue what the fuck they are talking about.

The entirety of her album Reputation was created as a "defense mechanism," as related by Taylor Swift herself (which was in retrospect because she did zero promotion for it at the time). She had been ruthlessly attacked in the media and portrayed as an evil snake, a heartless witch, and serial dater. SO SHE FLIPPED THE SCRIPT AND WROTE THE ENTIRE ALBUM AS IF SHE WAS ACTUALLY THE PERSON SHE WAS ACCUSED OF BEING! THIS IS NOT HER. THIS IS A CHARACTER THAT THE MEDIA AND THE GOSSIPS AND THE TROLLS CREATED! So when she had this incredible stage show with the snakes and and the "evil," it was not her worshipping Satan or whatever the fuck people want to accuse her of... it's just a portrayal of how she was portrayed. Why is that so difficult to understand for these people?

But, yeah... let's start accusing women of being witches and all that idiocy. It's the Salem With Trials all over again, so why not? Nice to know that NOTHING HAS CHANGED in over 300 YEARS.

Personally, I want nothing but the best for Taylor and Travis. I love them both and I hope they're happy.

JUST SO LONG AS TAYLOR STOPS SHOWING UP TO SUPPORT HER BOYFRIEND AT FOOTBALL GAMES BECAUSE IT'S DESTROYING FOOTBALL!!!

Yes. YES! STOP DESTROYING MUSIC, TRAVIS!!!

The sun is shining, there's no snow on the ground, and apparently Winter is over, but I'm trying not to think about a possible drought come Summer... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Portraiture! Auguste Toulmouche was a wonderful artist who is most well known for his portraits of fancy Parisian women. What made his paintings so notable was the expressions he painted on their faces. The most famous likely being La Fiancée hésitante (The Hesitant Bride)...

But my favorite of his is Vanity...

This past week I was going through my art books and noticed something I hadn't before. There is a portrait of Auguste by another artist of the day, Jean-Louis Hamon...

After Googling for other images of the guy and not finding any, I realized something... this is likely the only record of what Auguste looked like. All articles about the guy show this same image. It's a rough painting, and yet captures a feeling in a way that a photograph never could. One of the many reasons I love art so much. Here's a self-portrait of Hamon...

Amazing artist. I would kill to be able to paint hair like that.

   
• Méndez! I wrote a whole post over my love of the movie Half Brothers (which you can read here). I'm such a fan that I've been tracking down other works by the people in it. #1 on my list is Luis Gerardo Méndez. The guy's ability to emote what his character is feeling is jaw-dropping. He makes you feel every emotional beat of his character, and is a big reason why I love the film...

BUT ANYWAY... I was thrilled to learn that his latest project is on Paramount+ and is called Los Enviados. Except when I went to Paramount+ I couldn't find it. After a couple weeks, i.e. TODAY, I found out that it's there... you just can't search for its Spanish title. You have to search for The Envoys instead?? Weird, considering it's a Spanish language show. But anyway...

So, yeah. Most definitely checking this series out. The second season just dropped, so I'm assuming the first season must have been pretty great.

   
• Cameron Classics, Now On Digital! I love James Cameron movies. And two of my favorites are True Lies and The Abyss...

I bought them on both LaserDisc and DVD. My digital version were ripped from DVDs and hi-res broadcast because they've never been available to purchase on Digital (or Blu-Ray). Until now! And iTunes has both of them on sale for $9.99 each! So now I'm digital legal. As I endeavor to always be. The only time I'm not IS WHEN THEY DON'T MAKE THEM AVAILABLE FOR SALE!!!

   
• Rojas! Every time I rewatch Ted Lasso I find something new that I didn't know. Apparently, Danny Rojas is based on Mexican football star Javier Hernández. While reading up on Hernández, I ran across Diego Maradona, an Argentinian footballer who is rumored to also contribute to Danny's character. And THEN I found this old video of Maradona where he was warming up before a match. The song playing on the field in the background is Live is Life WHICH THEY PLAY AT THE END OF THE SECOND SEASON'S FIRST EPISODE! MIND. BLOWN. The epiode where Danny recovers from accidentally killing the team mascot. The people working on this show really know their football...

And SPEAKING of Ted Lasso... in the second episode Roy is walking out on the field with a young girl, which is most certainly his niece Phoebe. Except the actor isn't credited on IMDB and she doesn't actually appear in the story until the next episode, where Roy tells Ted about her when they visit the school with Trent Crimm (of The Independent). But if she was walking out with the team, wouldn't Ted have already met her and known who she was?

I must have watched the series a dozen times by now. And the earlier episodes even more. It got me through the horrors of the past three years, and it's pretty daunting knowing that there's no more coming to help me through 2024.

   
• Tidy! A friend posted a story about a mouse that tidys up a man's workbench every night. If there wasn't video evidence, you wouldn't believe it...

I wish my cats were this motivated. The whole incredible story is right here.

   
• Expenses! This truly is incredible...

And he really does do that...

Don't forget to be awesome. The guy in the videos is John Green. He wrote The Fault In Our Stars, a book I never read... but did enjoy the movie adaptation. He's a really great guy who has some very interesting thoughts. I love his YouTube channel so much, and recommend checking it out if you want to fall down a rabbit hole of awesome.

   
• Sigma Octantis! Just when I think I've seen all the flat earth idiocy that exists... along comes another one. Note at the top where the North Star (Polaris) is riiiiight up top...

I'd credit the artist... but I have no clue who that is

Polaris. POLARIS?!? Funny... according to this flat earth model dumbfuckery, you should be able to see Polaris from anywhere on earth. But any time I've traveled south of the equator, it was no longer visible. South Africa, Zimbabwe, Antarctica, Argentina, Fiji, Australia, Bali... no Polaris in sight. I checked! But do you want to know what's funny? Sigma Octantis (AKA The South Star) which is not visible in the northern hemisphere, is the star around which the night sky rotates when you are in the southern hemisphere. Almost as if the earth was a globe! Remarkable that! These flerfers really need to like... travel... and stuff. THE CONSTELLATIONS AREN'T EVEN THE FUCKING SAME! JESUS!!!

   
Really hoping we get some late snows so we have water this Summer.

The TikTok hearing is about as fucking embarrassing as this country gets.

A bunch of bought-and-paid-for ignorant idiots who have zero concept of how technology works have jumped on the bi-partisan bandwagon to distract everybody from the fact that they're a bunch of useless pieces of shit, and American citizens are supposed to be cheering them on?

Christ.

And so TikTok will likely be banned, thanks to Facebook paying off politicians to be all angry about it and get rid of their business rival over shit that Facebook does ALL THE TIME!

What's amazing is how these fucking lobbiest taint-lickers ask questions of TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew, then don't allow him to answer and refuse to listen to anything he has to say. This is what counts as discourse in government?

We have fascists at the wheel deciding what we get to read by burning books. What we get to watch for entertainment by banning drag shows. How we identify by banning trans persons. Whom we get to love by banning same-sex marriage. And what websites and apps we get to use by banning fucking TikTok.

Didn't we fight wars against exactly this kind of bullshit?

And the fact that this is starting to become bi-partisan behavior is not lost on me. It just proves what I've been saying all along... politicians will do and say whatever they fucking have to in order to stay in power... even if it means selling out the country to do it... and it doesn't matter one fucking lick what team they play for.

All while telling us that they're doing it "for our protection."

What we actually need protection from is the fucking government.

Facebook can sell our private data to Chinese companies and Congress doesn't bat an eye. Because they're paid not to. But a Chinese company collects our data and suddenly Congress is outraged. Because they're paid to.

Until money gets pulled out of the equation, this is exactly the kind of stupid shit we vote for.

At this rate, it's only a matter of time before Blogography gets banned to "protect us" from my being critical of the government.

Our fascist distopian future is now.

With all due respect to Peanuts (widely considered the benchmark for comic strip exceptionalism), I think that Calvin & Hobbes is the greatest comic strip of all time.

Not only was it drawn in a style that flawlessly conveyed the energy of the strip, Bill Watterson created stories that are a master class in economy of words and images. I marvel at what he managed to accomplish within the constraints of a daily strip. His is a skill that has been sorely missed, and I keep hoping that he'll do another strip one day... even if it's limited in scope or duration. Anything Watterson does would be incredibly interesting to see.

I have re-read my The Complete Calvin & Hobbes set cover-to-cover many times, but that doesn't stop me from reading the daily online strips.

Today's strip is this...

Yet another triumph by Watterson.

But getting back to my marveling over his mastery of economy of words and images... look what happens when you get rid of the last panel...

Without the punchline, it is a much more ruthless skewering of today's "I'm Special and Deserve Full Credit for a Lackluster Job!" culture. It is what makes Miss Wormwood's response of drinking Maalox straight out of the bottle so funny.

And then look what happens when we remove the first panel...

Without the setup to soften the impending joke... Calvin objecting to his C-grade... the strip is considerably more vicious in nature. Calvin's demands are more of a direct attack. And if the words weren't accompanied by drawings of a cute kid, I'm note sure they would hit as funny, even though the concept of being recognized as "exceptional" for less-than-exceptional work could be seen as funny in any context.

Which brings us to the meat of the strip, which is this panel right here...

Now, to me, all of a sudden the strip (when stripped down to this single panel) is hilarious. All context has fallen away, so this becomes a scathing comedic commentary on government and industry. Congress excels at demanding exceptional recognition for doing a minimal, mediocre, crappy job. They run their re-elections on it! I look at this one panel so beautifully putting into perspective as to why our culture has been built around "American Exceptionalism," and here we are... it flows from the top. Congress demands exceptional recognition for less-than-exceptional work... people see this... people vote on this... and suddenly we're all about being "the best in the world" at everything, even though we're getting our ass handed to us by other countries in SO many areas.

Education being at the top of the list.

Forever moving the goalposts so we can be the greatest in everything is the real American Way.

It's a lot less work than putting in the actual work.