I've traveled through The South many, many times.

And I don't just mean I took a few vacations to New Orleans and Disney World and flew into Atlanta for work, then flew back home (though I did that too). No. I've been around. I've driven between Austin, Dallas, and Houston a lot. I've driven around Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, and Florida a crazy number of times. And it's not just the major cities. I've stopped in numerous small cities and towns in those states and also on drives through Kentucky, Tennessee, and North and South Carolina.

So, yeah, my familiarity with The South is far from a passing one.

Which is why I howled when I saw this (NSFW: here's a link in case TikTok is being a jerk)...

This is painfully accurate.

Because when I break out the "All y'all" this is where my head is at.

This week Apple's spiffy new VR/AR headset, The Vision Pro, was unleashed upon the world. And now the videos and reviews of the unit are being released. There were reviews before, but they were all taking place in Apple's tightly-controlled environment. Now they are out in the real world.

And of course my go-to tech guy, Marques Brownlee, is all over it.

First he posted an unboxing video.

Then he posted an experience and introduction video. If you only want to watch one video to get an idea of what Vision Pro is all about, this is it...

Both videos were excellent, as expected, but the one that compelled me to write about reacting to his reactions was when he wore the headset for the entire 90 minutes of his Waveform Podcast. It is fascinating. Mostly because it has conversation about where the technology is now and what it could mean for the future. If you are at all interested in Vision Pro, it's time well-spent to watch it...

At the one hour mark, Marques responds to viewers and makes a point of talking about being excited to taking a his first flight with Vision Pro. He wants to be able to watch videos on a plane. And I relate to this completely. The thing I want to do most when being stuck on a plane is to not being stuck on a plane, even if it's just virtually.

But this touches on the main reason that I want a Vision Pro.

I want to be able to turn the world off and not be stuck in reality.

I want to be able to strap on Vision Pro in my living room so I can watch movies on a massive screen... while sitting in a movie theater... ALL BY MYSELF. I love love love going to a movie theater. I love the experience. But I hate having to endure other people while I'm there. People talking. People using their phones. People eating. People kicking your seat. Which is to say that I loathe going to a movie theater because there's always going to be other people fucking up the experience. Vision Pro will allow me to go to a "theater" and have only a good experience. And that is what makes a Vision Pro worth it. Not for $3,500... but eventually when they drop the "Pro" features I don't care about and release a version that's affordable.

And everything I wrote about watching movies goes double for attending a concert. I have paid a ton of money for tickets to a concert... only to have to listen to people screaming their fucking heads off and talking the whole time. Not to mention having people standing in front of me blocking my view (and I'm tall!). If bands were to start releasing their live shows on Vision Pro... giving you a private concert from the best seat in the house... I would not only buy a Vision Pro, but I would happily pay the full ticket price to the artist to experience it. There are people who love live shows. I used to be one of those people. Maybe it's because I'm old now, but I definitely do not. Being able to virtually attend a concert is a dream scenario for me. I cannot wait for this to become a reality.

Everything else that a Vision Pro can do beyond that is gravy, but I'm going to focus on one aspect: travel.

Being able to explore the world from your living room is compelling, although it's never going to replace of being out in the world and seeing things in Real Life. Mostly because so much of the experience of travel is tied to actual immersion. Sights, smells, sounds, and interacting with all of them. And, unlike with movies or concerts, I find interacting with people to be one of the best parts of travel. So your "experience" with virtual travel is going to be severely limited with current technology. Even tech as advanced as Vision Pro. But let's break down why I still think there's a place for it, even with such severe limitations...

• Travel is getting more expensive every day. And while $3,500 for the Vision Pro is a huge chunk of change by itself, when that price comes down, virtual travel may be the only option for people who want to travel the world but can't afford to go in person. A limited experience is better than nothing, and a VR experience is better than watching a video.
• A lot of people don't have the option for travel experiences because of physical limitations or mental barriers that prevent it. Maybe they are confined to a bed for health reasons. Maybe they don't have physical mobility. Maybe they're just old. Whatever the reason, travel is off the table. So, yeah, it would be nice if they could partially experience seeing the world in a way that's better than looking at a photo or watching a video.
• A lot of top destinations for travel are overwhelmed. The huge number of people visiting are straining resources, driving up costs for locals, and destroying environments. Anything which can reduce this strain is a good thing. No, visiting a Maui beach virtually is not the same as laying on that same beach and experiencing the environment in Real Life, but if the virtual experience is excellent, we might get to the point where you can visit a local beach, lay in the sand, and be in Maui virtually. And, as the technology improves, this will just get better and better.
• Travel consumes huge amounts of resources and causes a lot of pollution. If virtual travel can reduce the need we feel to travel in Real Life even a little bit, it's going to be a game-changer.
• And of course there's the time element. Travel takes time away from your life, and a lot of time is wasted just getting to where you're going. Being able to toss on your Vision Pro and go somewhere in minutes is a compelling reason to explore more of the world... especially places you would never think to go to in Real Life.

I am not going to buy a Vision Pro. At $3,500 plus tax and money for accessories, you're easily talking $4,000 and I can't justify that cost in any way. That money could be spent fixing my home, buying necessities, completing my landscaping project, and a ton of other things.

But that $3,500 price won't be there forever.

I don't give a shit about the front-facing screen which shows people your eyes when you're talking to them. Not even a little bit. If I'm talking to somebody, I'll just take the thing off. A version without that has got to chop at least $500 off the price. And I don't need metal and glass quality. I'll take a plastic headset and be happy to save at least another $500. Then there's the mass production savings which will come as they ramp up production of the cheaper version. All of a sudden... the Vision Not-Pro costs $1,500 to $1,800. And I would buy that in a heartbeat. Even if all I did was watch video on a massive virtual screen, that's worth it.

And then there's the future of Vision Pro.

The "persona avatars" are pretty crappy right now. But eventually? When they get better? Virtual meet-ups with my friends would be so cool. I'd love to sit and watch television shows with my friends so we can chat and enjoy the experience together. Or play games. Or just have a chat. That... that... would be insanely great.

I can't wait.

UPDATE: Marques has another video out. A lot of info packed into around 20 minutes...

My house is a shambles. I've been working long hours and cleaning up hasn't been in the cards.

Today I finally had time to attempt to tackle the mess I live in.

It hasn't been going well, and it's all Jake and Jenny's fault.

The first thing I wanted to do was clean out my kitchen. I scrubbed the countertops and the sink, steam cleaned the floors, then tried to re-organize my cupboards. Starting with all the shopping bags that I keep to use as garbage bags. The problem is that I don't produce a lot of garbage, so the bags keep piling up. It really makes me wish that the grocery store would have a bag rental that allows you to have deliveries made in bags you rent, then you can trade the bags bag when you place your next order. Because I'm never going to re-use the number of bags I get.

To better organize the cupboard I toss them into, I threw them all out on the floor. It took all of ten seconds before the cats were digging into them. Not wanting to interrupt their fun, I figured that I'd just wait until they were done playing. Jake left after about 20 minutes. But Jenny?

No chance. After a half hour, she's still there...

45 minutes maybe?

And now an hour...

She's still throwing them all over the kitchen. So I decided to give up on waiting and return to my laundry because I've got dirty clothes piled in the hallway.

Except...

Guess I'm not cleaning up after all. And it's all my cats' fault.

I am banging this entry out early because I have a house to clean, but better early than ever... because an all new Very Special YouTube Edition of Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Strangers! The meat of this excellent video story is about 10 minutes long. It is absolutely worth your valuable time to watch. Especially if you want to know what this experiment we call "life" is all about...

I've seen feature-length movies that didn't work this hard. Brilliant.

   
• Crash! Remember when police officers stood on the driver's side to talk to you when you get pulled over? Thank heavens they changed procedure and switched to the passenger side, or this officer would have certainly been killed...

Wild. It's just wild to watch it happen. Even more wild that nobody as hurt. And you have to wonder what happened. Was somebody looking at their phone or what?

   
• We Are the World! It's interesting how USA for Africa came together. I mean, not shocking because it's pretty much what you'd expect, but it's exciting to watch as the dominoes started to fall and people were getting involved. If you have Netflix, this documentary is gold. Especially if you like music...

I actually think there was likely enough material to make a second part, because the stories behind having so many legends in a single room are undoubtedly endless.

   
• Power! On Friday I mentioned the Marques Brownlee Waveform Podcast where they were talking about the Apple Vision Pro, and they mentioned a relaxing "game" called Powerwash Simulator. I played this at a friend's house, but don't actually own it, so I had no idea what all it contains. Basically, you select a dirt object in the game, then power wash it until it's clean. That's it. When you wash all the dirt and grime off the object you selected, you finish the job and "win." It turns out that one of the things you can wash is the Perseverance Mars Rover! I've fast-forwarded to that part of this review (5:45 minutes)...

And look! The Ingenuity Mars Helicopter is there too! How cool is that? If I had a Vision Pro and Powerwash Simulator was available, I'd buy it just for this.

   
• Attendant! I learned very early on when I was flying constantly about how being a flight attendant works. There are all kinds of excuses as to why their pay doesn’t start until the cabin door closes, usually having to do with making sure that their maximum legal hours worked doesn’t expire in mid-flight after a delay. But it’s all bullshit. I 1000% support flight attendants earning a living wage for the work they do, and excuses are just excuses. Airlines can find a way to pay these hard-working people fairly for the work they do...

   
• HOT! Hot Ones is a surprisingly deep interview that runs at a brisk pace while buying into an absurd concept of eating hot sauce. And regardless of how you feel about John Oliver and his politics, he has some really funny moments... and some surprisingly astute observations... that aren't straying into political territory...

It just goes to show that John Oliver has some very smart takes the go beyond politics.

   
• Tay Tay Today! The bat-shit insane conspiracy theories that Fox "News" is drumming up over Taylor Swift don't concern me. It's the fact that some of their viewers actually buy into the conspiracy theories. They don't even make any fucking sense. Like if Taylor Swift says anything AT ALL that's political, she's an evil Biden puppet. But all the "musicians" who show up on Fox "News" to talk Conservative politics are real patriots? Jesus Christ. Taylor Swift hasn't said shit. But apparently Conservatives are shitting their pants over the idea that she could, and so they want to jump in front of it. Anyway... Seth Meyers has a look down the rabbit hole of Taylor's existence, and it's worth a closer look...

Anymore doesn't our reality seem like a fucking bad movie?

At the beginning of each year I don't make resolutions. Instead I make a list of dreams for the next 365 (366 in 2024) days. I'm not talking about pie-in-the-sky dreams of unrealistic fantasy that are unachievable, but dreams which can actually happen. High on that list is that Taylor Swift continue to trigger people in all the best ways. Because apparently this is something that is badly needed. And you know what? January just ended and I'm just going to check that one off my list. Whether she's just existing... or watching her boyfriend play football... or she's being accused of being a demon in league with satan... she triggers more ridiculous people on a daily basis than I could ever hope for. And I love you for that, Taylor!

   
Now I need to get back to cleaning my wreck of a house. See you next Sunday with more bullets.

Food-shaming "influencers" can fuck all the way off.

Because what they're about has absolutely nothing to do with wanting people to eat healthier. It's all about making people feel bad about what they're eating... regardless of WHY they're eating what they're eating.

Especially "influencers" like this nightmare who honestly thinks that they're doing something with their shitty condescending attitude...

I've covered up this "influencer" because I don't mean to be sending any hate their way...
this is just one example of a huge problem that I picked to illustrate my point.

"This is not food." YES IT IS. It's not the healthiest food, but it's food. And if you'e working three jobs to get by and the only thing you can afford and have time to eat for breakfast is an Egg McMuffin and a McHashbrowns THAT'S OKAY. If you have difficulty cooking for whatever reason and this is what you can manage? THAT'S OKAY. If you don't have a kitchen available to cook food? THAT'S OKAY. Eat what you can eat and don't let people who don't care about you shit all over you for it.

"Imma keep saying it until y'all hear me!" Okay, I heard you. Now if I tell you that I don't give a shit about your food-shaming rhetoric, will you leave people alone? Because everybody already knows this. It's not news. Nobody eats at McDonald's for its health benefits. And your treating people who eat McHashbrowns like they're stupid and don't know any better just makes you a horrendous piece of shit.

If you want to suggest a way for people to eat healthier and peddle it to people who are looking for that information content, then go right ahead. But food shaming makes me crazy because the gall it takes is just beyond the pale.

Unless you are going to pay to have healthier food made available which people can afford... and have access to... and fits their particular situation...

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!!!

Seriously. Go eat a head of lettuce and just fuck off already.

There's a quote that I often see attributed to legendary comedian Robin Williams, but it was only popularized by him. It originated elsewhere... "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." I may have even attributed the quote to him wrongly in the past, because when I first fell in love with it, that's how I found it.

But one day I read a story about how it was most likely coined by U.S. Army Spc. Douglas Green, who sadly died two weeks after sending it in a letter to his loved ones. Here's an excerpt, which should be required reading by humans everywhere...

"If I could leave you with any words of wisdom it would be two things that I have always tried to live my life by.
 
Make sure you always put yourself in the position of anyone you ever have contact with. You will never truly know a man or woman until you try to see things from their perspective.
 
Secondly, never pass judgment or put anger on someone too quickly or harshly, because I guarantee you that person is fighting a battle that you know nothing about."

He's not wrong.

The problem is that not enough people agree with me on that.

People do not give a fuck about seeing things from other people's perspective. And they absolutely don't give a fuck about caring whether or not somebody is struggling.

But that doesn't stop them from sharing a misattributed quote to convince themselves that they do.

I just want to put this out there... if Tracy Chapman, a Black queer woman, had re-sang Fast Car with a twangy guitar, what are the chances that she would have burned up the Country charts with her incredible song?

That being said, I am thrilled that she is having a resurgence in popularity thanks to Luke Combs. She has pretty much kept to herself the last decade, making only scattered appearances when she is moved to do so, and her last album (Our Bright Future, which was middle-of-the-road for Tracy Chapman, which is to say it was great) was in 2008. I hope that the stellar response to her Grammy performance encourages her to write new music...

I was hopeful when her greatest hits was released she'd give us a new track or two, but it wasn't to be... so maybe now is the time?

"I GUESS MY CUT WILL BE SHORTER THAN USUAL!" — Me. After I dropped the #3 hair clipper guard, broke it, and had to switch to a #2 guard.

"WELL THAT'S UNFORTUNATE!" — Me. After my hair clippers died half-way through the haircut I was giving myself.

"DON'T PANIC! YOUR GRANDFATHER WAS A BARBER, SO YOU GOT THIS!" — Me. As I attempted to use scissors to even out my haircut.

"THIS ISN'T GOING WELL AT ALL!" — Me. After I realized that I am making matters far worse trying to scissor-cut my hair.

"I MAY ACTUALLY HAVE TO SHAVE MY HEAD NOW!" — Me. After an hour of making my head look like I stuck it in a blender.

"DON'T LOOK, GRANDPA! DON'T LOOK AT ME! THE SHAME! THE SHAME!" — Me. After giving up completely.

Yesterday on my way into work I decided that I wanted some of that cheddar popcorn I like so much. So I stopped at the mini mart, grabbed a Coke Zero and a bag of the popcorn and made my merry way to the office.

Then, once lunchtime rolled around, I grabbed my Coke from the refrigerator and opened the bag...

And was disgusted by what I was tasting. It was awful. Tasted like chemicals poured over a pair of crusty gym socks. I couldn't understand it. Until I looked closer at the packaging and saw that Smartfood didn't just update their packaging... this was a "Simply" version of the product that was low-calorie or whatever...

   
"GAH! THIS POPCORN IS WOKE! I exclaimed.

Because people seem to be incredibly fond of using "woke" to describe things they don't like now-a-days, despite it simply meaning to be awake and empathetic to what challenges other people are facing. But People who don't give a fuck about other people have co-opted it, branded it as "wokeness," and use it to show people just how un-empathetic they are towards anybody but themselves...

Brilliant creator unknown.

Today I went back to the mini mart to buy a replacement for the WOKE popcorn I had to throw out because I was still craving it.

Mmmmmm. Yummy.

Yes, from now on I'll be very careful to buy only UN-WOKE popcorn.

The way God and the Founding Fathers intended it to be.

The cats are mad at me because I had workers here this week, and I can't say that I blame them. I'm mad that I had to have them here too. I hired a contractor who fucked up, so now I'm having to pay to have things un-fucked up, and it's been a long, slow, expensive process.

That's ongoing.

But don't tell Jake and Jenny that. And speaking of...

Jake follows me around the house and chirps at me when he's mad. And then he hovers...

Fortunately, all I have to say is "Do you want a treat? Is it treat time?" and he forgets about being mad...

Jenny hangs around to be petted, but resents me for it...

Which is better than yesterday when she wouldn't even look at me...

Next week I am hoping that I can get a plumber here to finish up my bathroom so I can be done with it and start saving money to have the downstairs repaired.

And then? I really, really hope that I am done with home repairs for a little while.

I'm scrubbing up after seven months of having my shower doors collecting dust in my hallway, but now that they're moved, I can move on... and blog... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Make Mine Marvel! I fully expected to get a Deadpool 3 trailer at the Superb Owl. And though I'm not watching the game, I wasn't disappointed. Now titled Deadpool & Wolverine, it's absolutely everything I dreamed of...

This may very well be worth a trip to the theater.

   
• Yawn! I was wandering through the internet and saw a photo of some cats that immediately reminded me of the famous Pet Shop Boys album cover for actually...

Classic. The Instagram account didn't credit the creator of the photos, but a reverse image search pointed me to this Tumblr here. Hopefully that's the right place. Kinda frustrating when creators don't get credited for their work.

   
• DOON TOO! Um. Wow. Can't wait for the second half of Dune. The whole idea of riding a big worm through the desert is just so comical, but here Denis Villeneuve actually makes it look terrifying...

I've always been a fan of what David Lynch managed to do with his original film back in 1984, but this is phenomenal. If only Frank Herbert could see how his master work has been so beautifully adapted.

   
• Call Me... Charlie Baltimore! I love maps. This short video is on a subject I've read about many times... but this is a very clear way of illustrating The Baltimore Phenomenon...

Alice Springs was an interesting place to visit. I went so I could see Uluru (AKA "Ayer's Rock), and it feels very much like a place that's there just to service people doing exactly that.

   
• I'm Blue! Oh how I love science. The story of the development of the blue LED is fascinating...

The implications of sterilization LEDs is mind-boggling.

   
• Shorted! It's been a while since I've read Optic Nerve. But I was excited when I heard that Randall Park was adapting Shortcomings from the original comic. THEN I saw that it was to star Justin Min (he's Ben in The Umbrella Academy) and Ally Maki (who I fell in love with from Wrecked) and was all in...

It ended up being darn good. Kinda slice-of-life with some humor to it. And though I don't recall seeing Sherry Cola in anything, she is hilarious. All the actors are really good, but holy crap should Justin Min be tearing up Hollywood. Good looking with the bone structure of a god... and incredible talented to boot.

   
• Poppin'! TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES ONLY APPLY TO WOMEN! MEN CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT! IT'S IN THE BIBLE, YOU CAN LOOK IT UP! Meanwhile... misogyny never looked so fabulous. That lip gloss and those frosted tips are poppin' on him! Way to find a look that's so glam on you, my brother in Christ! (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

The lack of awareness is just next level here.

   
And now? Back to playing clean up.

I find it hilarious how the same people losing their fucking minds over T-Swifty and T-Rav are the same people who reminisce so fondly back to their high school days when the lead cheerleader dated the captain of the football team... assumably because that was indicative of a cleaner, more wholesome age when "men were men, women were women," and nobody was "woke." Plus they're both white, so isn't this is literally their wet dream?

And of course all the people who have nothing but horrible things to say about Taylor Swift are all of a sudden "concerned" for her because Travis Kelce was filmed yelling at his coach to put him in the game after a fumble (or whatever). It was absolutely nothing, which is why the uproar is so silly. But I do like the memes that have come out of it...

And, while we're on the subject... you cannot foster a killer attitude of dominance at all costs in a sport which has the players going out on the field to beat up on each other, and not expect to see something like this. This was literally one of the most important games Kelce will ever play, and adrenaline and emotions are running hot. This is how he has been conditioned to act to make him a more brutal athlete. It's what his coach expects from him. Yes, it's not very sportsman-like. Yes, it's out of line. But all these people acting all shocked over it genuinely puzzle me. This is football.

Not that Taylor Swift is immune to stupid shit...

Lord. Another day, another triggered snowflake who has no clue what the fuck they are talking about.

The entirety of her album Reputation was created as a "defense mechanism," as related by Taylor Swift herself (which was in retrospect because she did zero promotion for it at the time). She had been ruthlessly attacked in the media and portrayed as an evil snake, a heartless witch, and serial dater. SO SHE FLIPPED THE SCRIPT AND WROTE THE ENTIRE ALBUM AS IF SHE WAS ACTUALLY THE PERSON SHE WAS ACCUSED OF BEING! THIS IS NOT HER. THIS IS A CHARACTER THAT THE MEDIA AND THE GOSSIPS AND THE TROLLS CREATED! So when she had this incredible stage show with the snakes and and the "evil," it was not her worshipping Satan or whatever the fuck people want to accuse her of... it's just a portrayal of how she was portrayed. Why is that so difficult to understand for these people?

But, yeah... let's start accusing women of being witches and all that idiocy. It's the Salem With Trials all over again, so why not? Nice to know that NOTHING HAS CHANGED in over 300 YEARS.

Personally, I want nothing but the best for Taylor and Travis. I love them both and I hope they're happy.

JUST SO LONG AS TAYLOR STOPS SHOWING UP TO SUPPORT HER BOYFRIEND AT FOOTBALL GAMES BECAUSE IT'S DESTROYING FOOTBALL!!!

Yes. YES! STOP DESTROYING MUSIC, TRAVIS!!!

I have been hearing that I'd be able to file my taxes for free for as long as I've been paying my fucking taxes. But of course it will never come to pass because even though this has been a bipartisan issue from the beginning, Intuit buys off the government so that they keep getting to rake in our fucking money.

I had heard that there was going to be a new effort to come up with a free government alternative, but of course Republicans are now doing their level best to torpedo it by cutting the IRS budget because I guess the payola they get is just too good. Billionaires and millionaires don't want a strong IRS because then there will be money available to audit more tax returns and catch more tax dodgers like them. Intuit doesn't want it because it takes money out of their pocket. So the super-wealthy and the TurboTax pieces of shit pay pay pay politicians so they can fuck fuck fuck the American people.

Never mind that increasing the budget of the IRS will actually pay for itself because they will be able to go after tax dodgers... and there would be plenty of money available to build a free tax system too... people keep voting for treasonous politicians who are looking out for their own pocketbook instead of the American people who elect them.

The whole ugly story is here...

But will the American people actually fucking do anything about it? Of course not. The lies from the politicians they worship like gods are easy to believe when you turned off your brain long ago.

I'm too tired to have a happy Valentine's Day.

Which is just as well because my blow up doll is leaking air.

Good luck out there everybody.

I love languages almost as much as I love travel.

I watch a lot of videos and follow a lot of accounts which talk about languages, so "The Algorithm" is constantly feeding me more language content. Which just goes to show that it's not all bad, because cool stuff like this is what I want to see on the internet...

This guy is awesome! I love people who know things.

I missed two on the list. The same one he did #10 (which I wouldn't have thought of, even with three strikes available) and #9... which I should have thought of, but I didn't because I wasn't thinking of the other countries that also speak it (which is silly because I absolutely knew this).

For somebody who loves languages as much as I do, you'd think that I speak a slew of them. You'd think wrong, unfortunately. But it's not for lack of trying...

• German. My great grandmother spoke German, so I thought it would be fun to learn how to speak it. This would be in Middle School, and I have long since forgotten all but the basics, which is sad because I've been to Germany a lot.
• Spanish. Studied it in high school. I still use a bit from time to time, but to say "I speak Spanish" would be a gross overstatement. I dabble. And I can understand it being spoken far easier than trying to speak it myself.
• Japanese. I studied it because I love Japanese cartoons and comics and wanted to try and understand Japanese language and culture so that the anime/manga would be more enjoyable. This was an off-and-on endeavor during high school. But then became an obsession when I started traveling to Japan for work and to see friends I had made. For a while in the early 90's I was fairly fluent. I could hold my own in a basic conversation so long as people weren't speaking too fast. Now-a-days? I have a tough time remembering much of anything. A lot of words, but grammar has gone right out the window.
• French. I loved the idea of being able to speak French, but it was way past my ability to grasp. Five or six months before my second trip to Paris, I did nothing but listen to Pimsleur language tapes. It was a wasted effort. I managed to speak basic phrases and be understood, but it never really gelled, and my comprehension was awful so I gave up. On the plus side the French people, who have a reputation for being "rude," were incredibly nice and supportive of my feeble efforts in mangling their lovely language. I never met a single French person who was anything but kind to me.
• Italian. I started studying Italian once my Japanese was pretty good. I wanted a second language and thought it might be an easier alternative to French. My passion for visiting Italy and eating Italian food sealed the deal. It was nice to be able to have basic conversational skills (especially the three times I took my mom) but I didn't use it enough to really have it take 'hold.
• Swedish. For my first trip to Sweden, I studied really, really hard to learn the language. I had this fantasy that I would be all cool and be able to chat up hot Swedish women. I tried it out on some friends I was meeting and was immediately told "English is fine, please don't do that." Because of course their English was better than mine. I think I remember maybe five words.
• Portuguese. During the time I spent visiting Spain (5 times in 6 years), it was always my goal to tag on a trip to Lisbon. And so I did. I wanted to have a little bit of Portuguese in my head so I could enjoy it more, and studied quite a lot. Alas, the people I tried to speak to had zero interest in entertaining me. They'd even pretend to not understand me... even when I was certain that I was pronouncing everything correctly. I gave up on that real quick.
• Russian. After visiting countries like Poland and Romania where I was at a serious disadvantage by not knowing any of the language (English is not as ubiquitous as in other European countries), I decided that I would study Russian before a planned trip to St. Petersburg in 2013. I was not going to mess up an architectural dream-trip by not being able to communicate. So for nine months I studied. Which was insanely difficult because Russian, which I was told would be easier than Japanese, is not a simple language for Westerners to wrap their head around. But I pushed through and... had a visa problem and only made it as far as Helsinki. St. Petersburg would have to wait. Then, eight years later, I had a work opportunity where knowing Russian would be helpful so I started looking at it again. I'm far from fluent because... well, unless you're born speaking it, Russian is just next-level tough. But I have built a bit of a vocabulary and am not entirely helpless, so that's nice. I'm probably going to stick with it for a while because the difficulty gives my brain a workout and can hopefully keep me sharp in my declining years.

And that's it. Studied a lot, know nothing. The story of my life, really.

If I had tons more time to spare and the brainpower to handle it, I'd love to learn Mandarin. That seems as if it would be a real door-opener when it comes to work projects. And of course visiting India is still sitting on my bucket list, so learning Hindi would also be nice. Realistically, however? English, a smattering of Japanese, and Russian is probably it for me.

I read a bullshit article where millionaire Barbara Corcoran was reinforcing the old adages "Money doesn't buy happiness" and "Money makes relationships complicated"... which is what people with money have been telling people without money since the dawn of time. Because that way they don't feel bad about not sharing their hoarded wealth to make other people's lives better.

Get fucked, Barbara.

I've lived with a toilet and glass shower doors sitting in my hallway for 6 months while I've saved up the money to have my bathroom put back together (after the first contractor did shitty work that caused a leak). I would be far, far happier if I could just throw money at my problems and have them solved instantly. My relationship with my toilet would not be more "complicated" because I have money...

Holy shit do I detest deplorable assholes like this. You can enjoy your immense wealth and be happy about it while shutting the fuck up and not lying to people because you have an agenda to keep the working class under your thumb. NOBODY is buying it. Barbara even says that she "isn't giving the money back" so what the fuck is she even on about?

But anyway... first I had to pay to have the old shower demolished because that's where they said the leak was coming from...

Except... that wasn't where the leak was coming from. My tile guy figured that out when he decided to pull the toilet because he couldn't see where any leaks from the shower that got ripped out. Thousands upon thousands of dollars wasted FOR NOTHING. But at least my tile guy did a much better job of rebuilding my new shower than what I had before...

Now that the glass doors were out of my hallway, I had to save the money for the ACTUAL leak under the toilet to be repaired...

Which resulted in yet ANOTHER hole being put into my home so they could replace the pipe and flange going to the toilet...

Shockingly... despite the wood being continuously soaked and pools of water forming on the ducts (which left behind a lot of mineral scale) there's no mold to be found...

And now I have a toilet...

But I'm not done yet. Monday I have an electrical install. And then I need to have all the drywall repaired once I have the money saved. So that will be expensive fun. Because apparently home repairs NEVER END.

"Yeah, buddy, tear that shit up!" — Me, any time my cats are scratching on a scratching post.

I hit the cat lottery jackpot because my cats don't scratch anywhere they're not supposed to. They also don't rip my stuff apart. Nor do they knock things off of tables or shelves (except that exceedingly rare occasion when genetics take over and they have to). I guess what I'm trying to say is that they're just exceedingly well-behaved in all respects.

Last night I started sorting all the hundreds (thousands?) of Polaroid Mini photos I've been collecting since I started playing with the format in 2000. I was only 1/3 of the way through the big box of pictures, so I left out my sort piles and didn't think twice about it. Jake and Jenny both hopped up and sniffed at what was going, but immediately lost interest and left everything alone.

This morning everything was exactly as I left it...

I wonder how many cat owners would wake up to a total disaster?

The snow has all melted, and ... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Mean It! It’s a beautiful song to begin with. But when LANY's lead singer comes in with that hook at 2:47... how do collaborations like this happen? It’s perfect...

Can't believe this track is off Lauv's debut album.

   
• Winner! (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

I hope he at least didn't have to pay.

   
• Patagonia! I don't have very many regrets in life. But the few I do usually revolve around missed opportunities when it comes to travel. Not having been to India yet is something that I very much regret, for example. But bigger regrets are having gone places but not having enough time to see and experience more of the area. My photo expedition to Antarctica was incredible. A true bucket-list-worthy item that I will remember forever. And yet... I sure wish I would have had more time so I could visit Patagonia. But I had new kittens back home that I worried about. A mom in a memory care facility that I worried about even more. And two weeks away was already more than I could take (or afford).

   
• Streaming Services Are Shit! Cutting cable/satellite was one of the happiest things I ever did. I fucking HATED having to buy bundles that included channels I would never watch and commercials I was forced to suffer through on top of the huge monthly bill. Streaming allowed me to pay for exactly what I wanted to watch and was ad-free. Then, fast-forward to today, and we're back to bundles and fucking ads (unless you pay an absurd amount of money to get rid of them. Not only that, but the amount of content you get is shit too. Which brings us to this...

God. It's so bad that I'm to the point where I subscribe to one service ad-free each month, cancel it, then move on to the next ad-free service. And I know I'm not alone. It used to be that I cared about supporting services that produced content I wanted to watch by subscribing every month. Now I don't give a shit. Fuck 'em. I will pay when there's something they have that I want to watch. For the rest, I pay for YouTube Premium, which is ad-free and has endless content. That's enough.

   
• Marvel! Today I watched Assembled: The Making of The Marvels and am sad all over again that the movie underperformed. I love Brie Larson as Captain Marvel. Her first movie was SO good. Her part in Avengers: Endgame was flawless. And while there were some serious problems with The Marvels, it was still very entertaining. I loved the power-switching concept that drove it. — I want to see Captain Marvel again. I need more Carol Danvers. I hope that Marvel Studios brings her back somehow. And Photon. Teyonah Parris is a frickin' gift. How awesome would it be to get a limited series which explores her light powers in a cool and interesting way. And of course Ms. Marvel. I didn't particularly care for her limited series, but she was absolute gold in The Marvels. That Iman Vellani could capture the wonder of what her character was experiencing so perfectly is the heart of the entire film...

But my favorite part of the documentary was Laura "LOOK AT ME, I'M WACKY" Karpman on sound design. Makes me want to re-watch the movie just to have a better appreciation for her work on it. And of course I thought the special effects were glorious. =sigh= I am so bummed that super-hero movies are imploding. I love love loved having so much content and watched it all. I would love to have a new Marvel movie every month. Like the comics. But now it's all being scaled back, and there's really nothing out there to replace it for me. I waited so long for something like the MCU to happen. I don't want it to end.

   
• Housed! It is so weird having spent a month watching every episode of House and now it’s over. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that there are no more episodes to watch. But anyway… the final season was a bit of a mess, but I loved the show. Ten thoughts… 1) I think it’s probably a good thing that the show didn’t have a ninth season. They did everything, and it was time. There’s only so many times you can say “sarcoidosis.” 2) That being said, I want a spin-off with Chi Park. I love her character and want more. Even though they didn’t know what to do with her, and came up with the idiotic Chase love scenario. 3) I missed Cameron after she left. But Cuddy was the one that I cannot believe wasn’t there for the last season… and the way they got rid of her was insulting and stupid. 4) Robert Sean Leonard better have gotten an award for playing Wilson, because damn. 5) I think that Omar Epps probably didn’t get enough credit for his role. He was memorable despite his character being buried most of the time. 6) While I loved Taub when he was in doctor mode, they spent WAY too much time on his stupid personal life. 7) Thirteen was my favorite character. Partly because they made her so interesting, but mostly because Olivia Wilde played her so beautifully. 8] The saddest moment to me was Kutner, not Wilson, because Kutner was all reactions by the characters, and we will never know what he was feeling. 9) I would have liked to get more of the detective guy, Lucas. He was just so… together… and I love that they didn’t feel the need to make him a mess like everybody else. 10) I really do think that the writers backed themselves into a corner with Greg House. It’s like they felt him being a mess was his only quality, and he never really gave him the opportunity to be anything else (even when he was with Cuddy). Fortunately, Hugh Laurie was just so GOOD in the role that it didn’t matter. He made the character fascinating to watch no matter how much the writers were intent on sabotaging him. — BUT ANYWAY... A really good show that I’m kinda sad I didn’t watch as it was airing, because that way it probably wouldn’t have seemed as repetitive with the medical diagnosis jargon. GRADE: A- (though the final season was probably more of a C+).

   
Until next Sunday then.

The thing about using a grocery delivery service is that you never know what you're going to get. Although with services that are independent of the store, you can reasonably expect that a good shopper will shop on your behalf and pick out nice produce and try to find everything you buy. Not so much when the service is run by the store. Because they want to give you the stuff that they won't otherwise sell, which means older, less nice produce.

Take for example my last grocery order.

I had a recipe which needed 1-lb. of shredded carrots. So that's what I ordered...

But what I got was one massive carrot that was as big as two bananas...

Which would have been fine, except it was only 12 ounces. Just 2/3 of what my recipe called for. Which meant I had to head to the store after all...

See... it's times like this that I would have avoided a big headache if I would have just gone to the store to buy my groceries to begin with. Which is why I'm seriously questioning if I want to renew my "Fresh Pass" when it comes due. Something to think about, I guess.

I had just finished cleaning up my kitchen after dinner, and then I noticed that... oh noes... I had bananas going bad! Which of course means I am required by law to make banana bread. This time I made it in tiny little loaves. So convenient! And they cook in 35 minutes instead of an hour!

I was anxious to try the new egg-replacer I bought, but I don't want to waste the eggs I have left, so I did not. I did use plant butter in the recipe and on my plate though! That makes them almost-vegan!

Late night surprise nanner bread is the best nanner bread.

If somebody would throw a science text book into Alabama, that would be great. Preferably science book on tape, as it seems lawmakers are not much into reading words in those learnin' books.

And while we're on the subject, I thought it was unlikely that politicians could be more fucking stupid and willfully ignorant than the likes Lauren Boebert, Louie Gohmert, and Majorie Taylor Green. But then along comes fucking Tommy Tuberville and it's all "Hold my beer." Jesus.

We have seriously got to have a basic competency test for all political condidates before they can even get on the ballot. I mean, critical thinking skills would be nice... but right now I'd settle for not being as dumb as a box of fucking rocks.

Blergh. Had to drive to Spokane today.

The older I get, the more driving three hours straight wipes me out. I can get through it just fine, but once I arrive I'm beat. You can pretty much write off the rest of the day (which is why I drive over the day before work starts).

But anyway... near the start of my journey, there's always a decision to be made...

Now, 20 years ago... even 10 years ago... there was no question I would be turning right. Of course I would! I can save 15 minutes or more! And I've got a dedicated passing lane! Why wouldn't I?

But now? It's a genuine dilemma.

Yeah, still I want to get there as quickly as possible. But I'm resistant to "boring" now that I'm in my declining years. I don't want to spend my remaining years driving through "boring." So I turned left so I get to see things like this...

Dean's is a famous burger stop about a half-hour outside of Spokane. It looks like they got tired of repairing the roof, said "fuck it," and decided it was easier to build a massive canopy over everything. I stopped for fries and a huckleberry shake a few times, but it had shuttered so I couldn't this time (apparently I missed it by 5 months, since they closed last September). Sad. I'm guessing that they could never recovered from COVID like so many restaurants that closed.

But anyway...

When I got to Spokane I threw everything into my hotel room, then had to make a beeline for River Park Square so I could get a replacement power adaptor. Apparently my ancient one that's been around the world with me decided to die.

By now I was tired and hungry, so I decided I would just eat at the upscale burger chain across the street. I don't particularly like them, but I know they have food options for me, so whatever. I went in. Waited and waited and waited. Finally went into the bar. Was told to sit anywhere, which I did. The wait staff proceeded to wait on two tables that came in AFTER me... then decided to check on other tables before I even got a menu. Well fuck that, I left. Instead I decided to get an Impossible Whopper, but the Burger King I knew was shuttered when I got there. So I decided to drive along the main drag to see if anything appetizing jumped out at me, and ended up at... a different Burger King! Which thrilled me, because the Impossible Whopper I had was twice as delicious and half the cost if I had gone to the fancy place.

INTERESTING TO NOTE: In addition to the accident on the highway to the right that was so bad that it jammed up the highway I took on the left, where there ended up being another accident. Then there was another on the way to Burger King... and another on the way back that was really, really bad (don't run red lights, kids).

Spokane must have more auto accidents per capita than anywhere else in the USA. And so now I am back at my hotel and feeling dead, which is not great because I have to be on-site early in the morning. Fortunately, the gift shop had ice cream DIBs, which I totally deserve after this shitty day I've had.

I wonder what the odds are that I'll get a good night's sleep tonight?

Work lasted quite a bit longer than expected, which was fine except it meant that I didn't get home until dark. Driving in the dark is something that I don't find as thrilling as I once did, which means that I value the precious light for as long as it lasts.

EVEN WHEN IT IS SHINING DIRECTLY IN YOUR FACE!

But it does make for some pretty scenery when you look to the side though...

I did get to have some of the greatest pizza on earth though, so there's that.

And... well... yeah. Home again. And exhausted.

But I'm having leftover pizza for dinner.

And for breakfast tomorrow. And probably lunch too. Because I bought a whole, giant, extra pizza to bring back with me.

Which is the nicest memory I have of the trip considering that the "upgraded river view" that I was given ended up being this...

I need sleep.

You know how you think that your pet has outgrown some undesirable behavior... only to find out that they absolutely have not after all?

If you had asked me yesterday if Jenny had outgrown tormenting her brother, I would have said "yes."

Jake brought Mufasa downstairs. Then had breakfast. Then went to sleep. JENNY CAME DOWN AND GRABBED MUFASA. So I followed her, calling her name. When I got to the top of the stairs I saw this...

Clearly she dropped him and is now pretending that she has no idea how he got there. He just happened to be where she sat down.

Clearly.

At which point I'm pretty much obligated to take Mufasa downstairs and give him to Jake, or else this will be greeting me when Jake figures out that his favorite toy is missing...

Cats. What can you do?

I'm too tired to blog. It's been a very tiring day. But there truly is no rest for the wicked... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• A Mystery! Given the fact that you can find just about anything knowable on the internet, it always fascinates me when the internet gets stumped. Because, though rare, it does happen. This video is about one of those times. It's a song. And, I'm just going to put this out there, it's a song I really like. Fair warning though, this is not a video you can start and walk away from because it just gets stranger and more compelling the longer it goes on...

Awesome. I mean... frustrating for everybody involved, of course... but still awesome.

   
• PIVOT! It's so rare that I get to use my name being similar to the Friends actor, David Schwimmer, as a joke, but here we are...

Now, honestly, I have been trying speak from a place of kindness more and more because there's enough hostility in the world... but Kirk Cameron kinda crosses a line for me. His whole "Way of The Master" idiocy where he "proved" the existence of God with a fucking banana... WRONGLY (the modern banana was cultivated by man, and bears very little relationship to the natural "banana" that God gave us)... was just proof that he'll exploit peoples' faith for money, which is pretty shitty. The fact that he's a raging homophobic bigot is just the icing on the fucking cake. Kirk Cameron can fuck ALL the way off with his bullshit, and I'll save my kindness for times when it will actually do some good.

   
• Rory! I did not know that Rory Scovel had a new special out! Guess what I'll be watching when I get home tomorrow after work tomorrow?

Yeah. This. I'll be watching this.

   
• QUIET! Ever since Apple got rid of the physical mute switch, I get calls ringing through EVEN IF I AM IN SILENT MODE. And of course searching through loads of antiquated Apple documentation does nothing to help resolve this. It sucks how something as simple as DO NOT DISTURB doesn't fucking work...

Every damn day it's something new.

   
• Prē! This video is pretty great. I hated the Palm phones but really loved WebOS. Fortunately, a lot of what I like transitioned over to iPhone (even if it took a while to get there)...

I find it remarkable that a whole lot of people have no idea these phones existed.

   
• White! Betty is one of the funniest people who ever lived. Nobody dropped a line like she did. This zinger is everything...

And it's the way she delivers it that makes it so hilarious.

   
• Grandma! To end this on a positive... this is genuinely sweet, no matter how you feel about Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter...

Grandmas are grandmas the world 'round.

   
And off I go to take a nap. Cannot tell you how happy I am that I actually have that option right now.

I had such grand ambitions for dinner tonight.

But my Monday was so exhausting that I just didn't have the energy to cook anything. So I'm having a hot dog, warmed pita bread, and roasted red pepper hummus while watching Rory Scovel's new HBO special (just like I promised I would yesterday... I'm a man of my word!)...

The dude has always been funny in a kinda everyman-average-guy-sorta-way, but he's disturbingly good-looking now. He's got a nice haircut (with highlights?) and he's dressed very well. He's totally put together compared to other appearances I've seen from him, which I am not used to seeing.

The special itself, Religion, Sex and a Few Things In Between is actually very good. I don't want to say that it's more mature and refined... this is Rory we're talking about... but it does seem as though he's scaling back on the "wacky" enough to build a stronger rapport with the audience and court a new level of success. No more schleppy Member's Only jacket hiked up to his armpits with his shirt hanging out (which is what his last Netflix Special was about). Nope. Rory got himself a stylist!

But anyway...

After this I'm off to bed. Not necessarily to sleep... I'm not that lucky... but I will be attempting to rest.

Because I'm guessing tomorrow is going to be even more exhausting.

Today was cold so I wore two shirts. A long-sleeve Eddie Bauer blue henley that I've had for at least a decade. On top of that I wore a short-sleeve St. John's Bay light green cotton button-up that I've had for close to two decades. Sure they look weird together, but they're some of my favorite pieces of clothing.

But the blue long-sleeve T has the elbows ripped out and a couple small holes in it... and the short-sleeve shirt has several holes, one of which is too big to repair. And so when I change into a T-shirt for bed, I'll be throwing them in the garbage, like I should have done years ago. But I held onto them because, despite the tears and holes, they were very well made. Now-a-days you're lucky if a shirt will last two years. Everything is made with thin, fragile cloth and not built to last. Clothing is made like Kleenex because they want you to throw it out and buy more ASAP.

What's a few holes when compared to that? These shirts are stronger with holes in them than new shirts are fresh off the rack.

At one time I thought I would just sew my own and use good-quality materials... but sewing shirts takes longer than you'd think. It also takes skills that are not easy to master. The obvious solution is to just pay the money for clothes that will last, and I'm perfectly willing to do that. But finding them is difficult. I'm (obviously) not somebody who's into high fashion, but most of the tougher clothes I can find in tall sizes are made for construction workers and lumberjacks. Not exactly looks I can pull off very well.

And so... goodbye my faithful shirts. You did a good job these many years.

My favorite novel of all time is Nobel House by James Clavell.

It is a masterpiece of storytelling that brilliantly weaves multiple complex storylines and fictionalized historical events into a highly entertaining story. I've read it at least ten times. But Nobel House, a story of modern Hong Kong circa 1963, is but one piece of Clavell's sprawling "Asian Saga" which includes his far more popular and well-known work, Shōgun...

1. Shōgun Japan, 1600
2. Tai-Pan Hong Kong, 1841
3. Gai-Jin Japan, 1862
4. King Rat Singapore, 1945
5. Noble House Hong Kong, 1963
6. Whirlwind Iran, 1979

Most people familiar with Shōgun know it from the 1980 five-episode mini-series event starring Dr. Kildare himself, Richard Chamberlain. So far as mini-series of the day go, it was pretty good. A fair amount of money was injected into the project, so it had good production values and a skilled cast. Here in the USA, it was a cultural phenomenon that was well-received. In Japan, however... well... it was a fictional accounting of their very real history, so it was not well-received at all. And understandably so. I mean, just look at this nonsense...

At the time I was mesmerized by the series. I think it was my second "event" mini-series after Roots, and I anxiously awaited each installment. And then I started reading the Clavell books (of which only King Rat, Tai-Pan, and Shōgun had been written). Then the following year in 1981 Nobel House was released and my literary world was turned upside-down.

But anyway...

FX Networks (via Hulu) has now begun a new 10-part adaptation of the novel. Gone is the over-the-top acting style of the 1980's, replaced by more reserved and powerful performances. Japanese is subtitled Japanese (thank heavens) and Portuguese is depicted with English so that the entire series doesn't have to be subtitled. In some ways the production feels a bit more intimate than the excessive 1980 series but not in a bad way. You still get the glorious money shots to establish scale (visual FX makes possible was could never have been realized 24 years ago), and the sets have authenticity which makes it a pleasure to watch. It's just that the focus is more on the performances than the spectacle. The first two episodes aired last night, and now we're getting a new one each week...

Taking place as the Edo period of Japan's history was being born, the world of Shōgun is truly bizarre by Western standards. An English guy ending up shipwrecked there at the time would very likely have gone mad. Violence and death was commonplace and intricately linked to a social caste system and honor code which is incredibly difficult for foreigners to even begin to grasp. Layer upon that the complex politics of pre-Edo, feudal Japan and it's amazing that Clavell managed to figure out a way of setting a story there that could be understood by Westerners to begin with. But set it there he does, and it's made even more complex because you have to understand the geo-politics in Europe as well. The English Protestants against the Portuguese Catholics who controlled trade in Asia.

The new FX series does a pretty good job of hand-holding the viewer through all of it, carefully dropping bits of exposition in a way that's not offensively obvious nor mind-numbingly boring. By the end of the second episode, you're pretty much set (which is probably why they were released at the same time) which means that the remaining eight episodes will be a ramp up to the heart of the story.

Now, when it was announced years ago that an adaptation was being made, I was really, really hoping for Michiel Huisman to play Pilot Major John Blackthorne. The character is English and Huisman is Dutch, but of all the actors working at the time of the announcement, he was the one I felt could best embody the character (driven mainly by his work on Game of Thrones). Ultimately the role would go to Cosmo Jarvis, who I was unfamiliar with. The guy does a phenomenal job with the part, which is great given that the entire show hinges on his performance. He has a very fine line to walk in the earlier episodes as he adjusts to the world around him but handles it with ease. Another standout is Tommy Bastow playing the Portuguese priest Father Albito. Despite him being an "enemy," you want to like him, which is critical to his role. Of course all of the Japanese parts are very well cast.

Especially Mariko.

Anna Sawai I actually recognize from, of all places, Fast and Furious 9 (more recently she was in Monarch: Legacy of Monsters). Near the end of the second episode her character has to hear some incredibly shocking news and then deliver it to her Lord Toranaga. But she has to be very Japanese about it, showing neither shock nor surprise... all while being totally shocked and surprised. And you read it all on her face. It's thrilling to watch.

So... yeah... so far so good, and I'm giving the show my highest possible recommendation. Knowing where the story is headed has me excited about future episodes, and I am almost certain to sit down and binge the whole thing over a weekend after finishing the final piece.

Can't give you more of an endorsement than that!

This morning I was hungry enough to eat breakfast, but not hungry enough to cook the eggs, hash browns, and toast I wanted. So I microwaved a couple hotdogs and headed off to work. Yummeh.

When I got home I wasn't nearly as exhausted as I usually am, so I nuked two more hotdogs for dinner and decided to install my guest bathroom speaker into the ceiling behind where the access panel will go. My cats hid upstairs because I was screaming obscenities the whole time. But I did it...

...barely.

If I could have found a quality bracket I would have gladly paid for it, but instead the only one that would work for the position I needed was a $20 cheap piece of crap. The screws in particular are soft, cheap, and shitty that were stripped out with zero effort (like more screws you get with cheap crap). Plus the hinge mechanism is stupidly designed. And, as if that wasn't enough, the instructions left out a critical piece that I had to figure out on my own.

Hopefully it doesn't fall down and ruin my grossly overpriced Sonos speaker. Wouldn't shock me in the least.

Now what I really need is to celebrate this achievement with a couple of hot dogs for dessert. Considering people in my home can continue to party with music while using the bathroom is worth celebrating. Because one of those people is me!