ANNNNNND... DONE! NOBODY IS SELLING YOUR DATA TO CHINA EXCEPT AMERICAN COMPANIES! THERE! WE'VE FIXED ALL OF AMERICA'S PROBLEMS! NOW WE'RE VOTING TO GIVE OURSELVES A RAISE AND THEN GO INTO RECESS FOR A FEW MONTHS! — God how I fucking detest our politicians. What a bunch of worthless fucking pieces of shit.

NEWSFLASH: Biden signs bill that could ban TikTok, a strike years in the making

Yet another case of politicians loudly announcing "DON'T LOOK AT WHAT I'M DOING! DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO ME! LOOK! OVER THERE! IT'S TIKTOK! SURE EVERYTHING'S FUCKED AND WE'RE DOING FUCK-ALL ABOUT IT BECAUSE PEOPLE GIVE US MONEY IF WE DO FUCK-ALL... BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT! IT'S TIKTOK! TIKTOK IS AN IMMEDIATE THREAT TO ALL AMERICANS! SO APPLAUD US! BOW DOWN BEFORE US! RE-ELECT US! IGNORE THE UNGODLY AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU PAY US! BECAUSE WE'RE WORKING HARD ON YOUR BEHALF! BECAUSE TIKTOK! YOU'RE WELCOME!"

How did we, as a country, end up in this sorry, pathetic state?

Oh well. TikTok was on it's way out anyway because they're shoving ads down your fucking throat every five videos and I'm sick to death of it... but I suppose Congress needs something to do to have the appearance that they're doing anything at all.

UPDATE: And now... this...

Total TikTok ban is imminent? - So... it's okay for US corporations and our government to give our private information to China without our consent... but we can't choose whether or not we want to watch TikTok and potentially give our viewing habits and location directly to China? It's okay for US corporations and our government to unload their bullshit propaganda onto social media users, even when it suits Chinese interests... but if China uses TikTok to do it directly, it's a problem?

Got it.

So long as the Chinese monitoring data and propaganda is collected for them by American companies, it's great. But collected directly by China is bad.

God Bless America.

I find it laughable that Congress thinks they're doing something here. They're fucking us on a daily basis while inventing some scenario so they can say they're keeping us from being fucked. Sounds about right. BECAUSE FREEDUMB!

Telling you right now, if Patty Murray, Maria Cantwell, and Dr. Kim Schrier support this bullshit... but will still allow Facebook, Instagram, Threads, Twitter, and the rest to exist (ALL OF WHOM HAVE SHIPPED OUR INFORMATION TO CHINA)... They will never get another vote from me.

Just kidding. I didn't vote for Murray and Cantwell last time... they're shills for Big Pharma who voted against drug-importation from Canada out of "safety concerns." Because, you know, you can't turn on the fucking television without hearing how prescription drugs have killed another million people in The Great White North. And, as if that wasn't enough, they have the fucking gall to talk about people not being able to afford life-saving drugs like they weren't responsible for taking money from pharmaceutical companies to protect their profits.

I fucking DESPISE Patty Murray and Maria Cantwell. And yet every time I bring up their hipocrisy, everybody tells me about all the "good" things they do. And I'm like REALLY?!? Washington is the fucking bluest state in the entire country. Anybody replacing them would be Democrats who would do all the "good things" they do... plus be there for the other votes we need our Senators to weigh in on. So vote them the fuck out of office.

Banning TikTok is just another fucking smokescreen for all the heinous shit that's actually going on in politics. But you can't blame politicians for exploiting it because their voters keep believing the shit they shovel.

So more (political) power to them, I guess.

There's no lack in irony that China bans all foreign social media platforms. But here in the good ol' USA, we don't do that because we believe in freedom.

At least we did.

Spring is finally in the air and the bullets are flyin'... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Faux! I have put the "news" in FOX "News" in quotations because anybody who's paying attention knows that it's neither fair nor balanced and is sure the fuck not actual news. It's 1000% propaganda that's mostly exaggerations and outright lies. And now we know that the people actually at FOX "News" know that they are pushing lies. A bunch of internal texts have been uncovered that prove it. This will come as no shock to anybody outside the FOX "News" bubble... but it should be a surprise to those inside of it. Except it likely won't matter, because lies that fit their narrative are better than facts and truth. Which is actually true for everyone and everything.

   
• Down Under! Do yourself a favor and go look at the winners of the Underwater Photographer of the Year awards. Because holy crap...

Winner: Fade by J. Gregory Sherman (United States)

It's incredible how absolutely mind-bending some of these shots are. Well worth your valuable time.

   
• Oranges! There's a TikTok channel devoted to golden monkeys eating. That's it. That's all it is. But it's fantastic. I mean, come on... JUST LOOK AT THIS (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

But don't take my word for it... go take a look!

   
• Healing! I seriously, seriously for the love of God hope that we can normalize psychedelics as treatment for trauma. It has been proven time and again that it is astoundingly effective in providing relief to those who are hurting. John Oliver really breaks it down in a way that everybody can understand. Well worth your valuable time...

It's not a magic bullet, obviously, but more research and testing needs to happen. Especially for our veterans.

   
• Licorice Pizza! Magical...

It's amazing that all this works. But oh so cool that it does.

   
• Twain Train! I was watching the best talk show ever to exist, The Graham Norton Show where it was revealed that Shania Twain has a train named after her in Switzerland. It's called Shania Train, which is epic...

This rivals the great names that they give snowplows!

   
• God Rod! Derek Muller's Veritasium channel is always entertaining. But some of his videos are just wildly worth watching, and he released a doozy last month. If you've got 20 minutes to kill, this is worth a watch...

It makes you wonder how many crazy, untested ideas actually gets funded with our tax dollars.

   
Until next time, true believers!

Don't worry, I'm here with a distraction from the Superb Owl... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Ronnie! Talked about a missed opportunity at the Superb Owl! I was waiting for Rhianna to walk out and say "Uh oh! Bonber alert!" then Andy Samberg would walk out as Shy Ronnie...

One thing's for sure... it would have been unexpected.

   
• Lo siento! This would be the kind of thing that happens to me (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

...assuming my girlfriend was Miss Universe 2020.

   
• Scam the Tragedy! A gentle reminder... if you receive an email wanting you to donate to a cause... any cause... don't click the link in the email. If it's not an organization you know the address for to type directly in your browser, do a Google search for the official website. I just received an email wanting me to donate to the Syria and Türkiye earthquake relief efforts from "The Red Cross," and it was a big ol' scam. All my donations go to Doctors Without Borders anyway, but holy crap... what kind of garbage would exploit a tragedy to scam people out of money?

   
• You're Poor! You can't afford it, you povo (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

Because you're poor!

   
• Luther! OOOOOOOH BOY! I am really, really looking forward to this...

It's like... Idris Elba is magic on the screen. Every. Single. Time. Just look what he did in the frickin' Thor movies, for crying out loud! And Luther is an exceptional character that shows off exactly why the guy is so good at his craft. Kudos to Netflix for sinking some money into quality.

   
• Alexa He Ain't! I really wish that Sonos speakers could use Siri. Because the Sonos Voice Assistant is fucking useless as a piece of shit at a pool party. Telling it to play songs never works. The only thing it does reliably is "stop" music when you tell it. Otherwise it's some bullshit about not understanding what you want and having to use your SONOS app. One thing I DO like, however, is the voice that SONOS uses for their AI. He's very calming. A little vulnerable. Which he kinda has to be given that he can't do jack shit. Though he's not as sexy as "Australian Male Voice 1" that I use for Siri but, let's face it, nobody could be sexier than Australian Male Voice 1. That guy sounds like he has slept his way through entire ecosystems.

   
• Again! After being severely disappointed with the last two Depeche Mode albums, I was surprised at the first single off their forthcoming album, Moments Mori. Ghosts Again is more like Depeche Mode than they've been in ages...

One can only hope that the rest of the album is this good.

   
Until next Superb Owl...

Don't let the Sunday Evening Blues get you down... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Little Guys! Paul Rudd reading Scott Lang's autobiography is about the best thing ever. And it's not just a commercial for the new Ant-Man movie, it's an actual book...

Yeah, I will definitely be buying the audiobook of that one. Assuming that there's a real audiobook to go with the real book.

   
• Kelce! The whole rivalry between the Kelce brothers is almost making me want to tune in to the Superb Owl. And the more it pops up, the more amazing it gets. Which has me genuinely afraid to know too much about them because it's so typical to run across some truly horrific stuff in people's past...

All I know is that Jason likes to dress up as "Fat Batman" and there's not much else I care about...

Here's hoping they're good people. And that their mom is having the best game ever (there's a petition to have her flip at the coin toss, and could there possibly be a more perfect person?).

   
• Pedro! Pedro Pascal hosted Saturday Night Live last night, and it had some very funny skits...

AND FIND THE LIE...

I'd post more, but you might as well go track down the episode on Peacock to see them all.

   
• Woodall! "Analysis videos" are often more about the perspective of the analyst than a deep dive which actually analyzes anything. There are exceptions. I've mentioned Thomas Flight, who remains one of my favorites for film analysis. Another one I recently binge-watched for hours is James Woodall. His thoughts on film and television are fantastic. What's amazing is that he has a grand total of twelve videos in two years. One of his most famous is likely his look at The Devil Wears Prada, currently at 2.4 million views...

But all of his videos are worth your valuable time if you like a good deep dive.

   
• Fuck Off! And I don't know what to do with fucking piece of shit dumbfuck bigot assholes, so I guess we're even? (Here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

I've never seen people so fucking brain-dead over crap THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM in my life. What the fuck do you care? I guess these people really, really want to get a look at people's genitals or something.

   
• Peanut Butter! And then there's this...

And yet people keep listening to these dipshit assholes and accept everything they say as absolute truth because disinformation never gets removed from social media and there are zero consequences to talking out of your ass about shit you don't understand and know nothing about. And society just keeps getting more and more stupid because of it.

   
Enjoy those precious moments of weekend you got left while you still can.

I'm hungry, but not hungry enough to stop on bullets... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• It's a Hoot! I love this video. I've watched it way too many times (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

   
• Kids! Legit dead (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

Things like this are why I can never give up TikTok.

   
• Shave and a Haircut! Or Instagram...

Cats make the world better.

   
• NOTHING! I can so relate (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

   
• Hair! How can you not love this? Samuel L. Jackson is having the time of his life... plus it's got Muppets in it!

Appearing on Sesame Street has got to be one of the biggest honors in existence.

   
• Hello Tomorrow! Wow. OH WOW!

This has incredible promise. Exactly the kind of retro-futurism that works for me... assuming it works as a show.

   
Time for dinner!

Don't sweat the small stuff... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• WILL! THEY MADE WILL TRENT INTO A TV SERIES?!??? AND IT'S ON HULU?!?? GAAAAAHHHH!

But here's the real kicker... it's really good. I'd put it up there with The Lincoln Lawyer as new series which are better than I believed they would be.

   
• Fuckers! NEWSFLASH: Snowpiercer's Final Season Won't Air on TNT, Because Of Course Not — My seething hatred for Warner Bros. Discovery is reaching peak rage. I don't know if I even give a fuck about supporting any of their shit I like. House of the Dragon, Bargain Block, Home Town, SHARK WEEK... they can all just fuck off. Just like with other shows and films they've decided to "write off," this is so fucking disrespectful to everybody involved who poured their heart and soul into the project. And that includes the fans. How fucked up is it that it's saving them money to not air a show THAT IS COMPLETE? This "Hollywood math" bullshit is just another sign that the entire system is a cancer that we'd be better off without.

   
• The Office! Okay, this was completely unexpected (keep watching it... here's a link in cast TikTok is being a dick)...

Sigh. I miss that show.

   
• Leslie Love! BWAH HA HA HA HAAAAAA (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

GIVE HIM A CHANCE, LESLIE!

   
• House of Siriano! And speaking of Leslie Jones... I happened across this TikTok while scrolling through my FYP waiting for clothes to get out of the dryer (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

And good for him. I wish him every possible continued success.

   
• 1968! I, of course, knew about the man. I did not know about the statue. Remarkable.

   
• I Love Brown! It’s worth having to block all those shitty ASMR vids on TikTok because eventually you find gold like this on your FYP (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

Spread the love, white child!

   
Onward and upward.

When Jake used to get sick or be upset, he hid from me. Him not showing up for a meal or running to meet me when I walked in the door is how I knew something was wrong. But now? Complete opposite. When he eats a bug and feels sick or is stressed about something, he will cling to me like glue. He's so clingy that I've come dangerously close to stepping on him.

Last night I have no idea what happened... probably ate a praying mantis for no reason at all or something equally disgusting... but he was on me. On the couch. Going upstairs. Brushing my teeth. Climbing into bed. And it's not like he's on the bed with me... he's squeezed up to me as close as he possibly can be.

At first, it's incredibly sweet that he thinks of me as comfort food when he's not doing well. But around midnight when I really should be going to bed, it's not quite so sweet. I'm scared that if I fall asleep I might roll over on him and crush him, so I continued to work for another hour. Around 1:00am, I was so tired that I couldn't focus on work and started playing on the internet

The first thing I did was find a TikTok where a guy was talking about crAIyon, a site that draws whatever you can think of. And what was the first thing that came to mind? Taylor Swift eating corn on the cob!

Have you ever seen anything so terrifying? Well hold on to your hats, because next up was Ryan Reynolds on a boat wearing a bear hat!

Then came A bear at the movies eating popcorn in a newspaper hat!

And A cat in a birthday hat eating cake!

Once I got to the nightmare that was Ernest Borgnine Wearing a Dress and Sitting on a Toilet I knew that I had to stop.

AND, NO, I DON'T KNOW HOW MY BRAIN COMES UP WITH THIS STUFF!

After that I came across a TikTok which lead me to a YouTube series by comedian/actor Kyle Prue called Rabbit. For such a shallow premise, it gets shockingly deep. By the time I got to the third episode I was completely obsessed and had to finish off all five (even though Jake had already climbed to the end of the bed). If you want a time-waster that has some serious thought behind it, this is a trailer for the series...

Now, right off the bat I should inform you that when he hits the woman with the hammer, it's not what you think. This is smarter than that. And I'm telling you... if this was a television series, I would totally watch it.

And now it's running close to 2:00am so I really, really need to try and get some sleep. It's now Friday so I guess this counts as my Friday post? I sure hope so.

I am tired.

Too tired to think about blogging.

But not too tired to scroll through TikTok while I eat dinner!

A little happy for your Monday... especially if you ever watched Boy Meets World (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

I feel this to my very soul (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

Maybe it’s because I had a tough day, but this hit brutally hard. We do have a lot of work to do (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

I should probably go to bed now, but I think I'm too tired to think.

I cam very close to acquiring a third cat today.

Not by choice, but because a cat needed a home and they were having a really tough time finding a place for him. He's a little jumpy, so they didn't want to send him to the shelter, but I didn't know if living with my cats would be much better, so I told them I was a last resort kinda guy.

Eventually a good home was found, so I just chipped in to pay for the vet exam and that was that.

If I end up with a cat, I think Jake and Jenny would be more receptive to a kitten, so if I do end up with another cat, that's likely the way it's going to be.

If you've been keeping up with Drennon Davis and the saga of his cats, it looks like Doug is going to be sticking around (here's the link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

The guy now has four cats, and it all seems to be going well. Surely I can manage three?