Thanks to the absolute madness that is Daylight Saving Time, I get a week of cat anger as they adapt to the time change, but I'm not in a panic yet... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• NEWSFLASH: Lay’s Rebrands Because Customers Apparently Didn’t Know Chips Were Made With ‘Real Potatoes’. Because of course. They haven't had "Potato Chips" on the package since 2007... and I guess those potatoes on the package aren't a big enough clue. That being said, the Lay's rebrand is gorgeous. Kinda. The new logo typeface looks fresh while honoring what came before. The banner is so much better, looking like a design element instead of a weird merging with the sun(?) behind it. And, yep, it IS a sun, because now they have nice rays behind it. Perfect. And I love the wood table look of the background...

BUT THEN... they just take random photo elements and glop everything to the logo unit? What a mess...

AND COULDN'T THEY HAVE STAGGERED THE POTATOES A LITTLE BIT??? OR RE-THINK THE PHOTO ELEMENTS COMPLETELY? WHAT DESIGNER JUST STICKS EVERYTHING TO THE LOGO LIKE IT'S A GAME OF KATAMARI DAMACY??? ACK! ACK! ACK!

Lay's created a gorgeous new logo then sabotaged it utterly. Those chips don't even look like chips (they look more like Pringles) and the potatoes are smaller than the chips they spawn? And because the taters are evenly placed, they look like a new design element which distracts the eye from the logo... they look like boobs on the bag or something? What were they thinking? This is a gorgeous treatment that is completely ruined by the photo elements being badly chosen and badly placed. Blergh. Such a missed opportunity.

   
• Property Brothers! BWAH HA HA HAAAAA. Things like this are when Saturday Night Live shines...

Biting satire that's funny because it's true. This is our reality.

   
• Precious Development?!? Parents are free to make decisions about their kid all they want. I mean, I draw the line when they are endangering the child but, for the most part, you do you when it comes to decisions about your own child. But this is abhorrent...

Fuck you and your Rainbow Bright face glitter shit. If you don't provide the teacher with alternative treats, what is the teacher supposed to do? Give everybody a treat EXCEPT your kid? How pissed off would you be then? It's entirely different if a kid has a peanut allergy and he was given peanuts. But a ring pop? To which she supplied no alternative? Like the teacher is supposed to go out and buy every alternative her class might require ON TOP OF the ring pops she already spent HER OWN MONEY on?!? Get fucked.

   
• Dear Deere! Another must watch video. "Why can't people repair the things they buy?" Because companies love money. iPhone broken? It can't be repaired by anybody but Apple or it gets bricked. McDonald's ice cream machine broken? Can't be repaired by anybody but the manufacturer or else you get sued (which is why they're always broken). Tractor broken? Can't get it repaired by anybody but John Deere because it's locked behind the software paywall. Spend a half-million dollars on a piece of John Deere equipment? You don't own it. They do. You're just paying for the right to license it. This is all kinds of fucked up, but corporations own the government, so they can do whatever the fuck they want to...

You don't own shit even if you pay for it. And lobbyists will keep spending billions to own politicians to keep it that way. God Bless 'Murica. But there is hope. "Right to Repair" laws are becoming a reality because politicians are being called out for their bullshit. More and more people need to speak out against this crap so that politicians will have no choice but to listen.

   
• Pepita Perfect! Last night I made one of my most favorite dishes: butternut squash ravioli in browned Kerrygold butter, crispy fried sage, toasted pepitas, and black peppercorns (which have been ground with a dash of nutmeg)...

I really need to buy a pasta roller so I can make my own though. Rana makes some good stuff, but I would prefer it without the orange color, as God intended, so it looks more appetizing instead of an orange blob. But anyway… a simple dish that’s also a bit complex in flavor.

   
• I HAVE TURBO PENIS! Yes, it happened to me! Lord how I love these debunk videos. Nobody does a takedown like Professor Dave. This should be mandatory viewing so that people understand how fucking stupid anti-vaxer "leaders" are...

The VAERS examination had me howling. How do people get duped by these idiots? It makes me crazy. We are losing herd immunity because people actually listen to these moronic douches.

   
• Men HATE This! GAG!!! I'm of the opinion that people should feel free to wear whatever the hell they want to wear. If you like it and it's comfortable and you can afford it... go for it. Nobody else has to approve. Nobody else's opinion matters. They aren't wearing it... you are. Which is why when I ran across this condescending gatekeeping asshole's YouTube channel, I couldn't roll my eyes hard enough. It's one thing to offer suggestions as to what people should consider wearing... it's quite another to pass judgement in the most immature and idiotic way possible. I mean, just look at these thumbnails...

She has very serious opinions as to what you're allowed to wear when you're over thirty. I'd argue that some could say that a woman over 35 shouldn't be wearing belly shirts as she's often seen doing... but I'm not a sanctimonious douche who spends my time gatekeeping clothing for views. Especially when you're acting like a fucking ten-year-old. An adult would realize that some people have to wear whatever they can afford... or whatever they're handed. So making fun of them or condemning them is a dick move. As it is when you make fun of people for wearing what they like.

   
• NEWSFLASH: RFK Jr. concedes administration lacks scientific evidence on Tylenol claims. OF COURSE THERE ISN'T ANY EVIDENCE, YOU STUPID FUCK! And yet you had the president announce to the world that Tylenol "causes autism." What kind of idiotic shit is running through your worm-riddled brain that you are so confident in spreading this crap misinformation? What kind of idiotic shit is running through President Trump's dementia-riddled brain that he believes your nonsense instead of ACTUAL FUCKING SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH?!? Christ, I hate living in the stupidest fucking timeline.

   
And now back to spending an extra hour of my Daylight Saving day.

The stupid. It burns.

"Don't take THAT acetaminophen, take THIS acetaminophen!"

This is what happens when you have morons in charge of everything and morons following them blindly in the most idiotic way possible...

And let's remember how this all started...

Lord. I feel like the entire world is going fucking insane. When did we start listening to people who have no fucking clue what in the hell they're talking about?

HBO... also known as "Home Box Office" to people like me who grew up with it... started as a premium channel that you could add to your cable subscription package for an additional fee. It offered movies, specials, and other stuff at a time before VHS video tapes existed. The concept was hugely successful, and so other premium channels followed... Showtime... Cinemax... The Movie Channel... and more.

Over the years HBO has kept up with the times by having a streaming on-demand channel, which was originally called "HBO Now." They also had a version of this for their cable subscribers called "HBO Go." But, in the end, no matter where you went to consume their content, it was still HBO.

But then everything got rolled together and became "HBO Max."

And then something remarkable happened.

HBO, one of the most recognized brands in existence, decided to call themselves "Max."

I have no idea what dumbfuck came up with the idea to bury such a well-known brand by dropping the actual branding from the brand... but it was one of the stupidest advertising decisions I've ever seen. Companies would kill for the brand recognition that HBO had developed over the past 50+ years. They'd kill for it.

And HBO just threw it away.

When I got back from vacation on Saturday I saw a news story which said that "Max" was going to rebrand as "HBO Max" again, because people didn't seem to know what the fuck "Max" was. Which is why I never referred to it as "Max" ever. I always called it "HBO Max" because that way people actually know what the fuck I'm talking about.

I understand better than most that sometimes difficult decisions have to be made and the people in charge have to bite the bullet and make it for better or worse. But you'd think... you'd really think... that they would at least try to educate themselves about the decisions they make to keep from having a painfully obvious fuck-up. Especially when millions of dollars are at stake. "Brand recognition" is not some abstract concept. And anybody who's in charge of making decisions for a company at such a high level as HBO branding should fucking understand that concept.

But they didn't, and HBO paid the price.

Now they're trying to roll back this laughably catastrophic decision in an attempt to salvage the brand that they tossed in the trash.

Well, good luck with that.

Fortunately for them there were people like me who were ignoring their whole "Max" fiasco and keep the brand alive on their behalf (and I'm not alone... a lot of people and media outlets continued to call it "HBO" long after it had been rebranded). The problem for HBO (or, more accurately, their owner, Warner Bros. Discovery) are people during the past two years who don't know what the fuck "HBO" is because they've ever known the service as "Max."

And don't even get me started on the fifty buckets of stupid that is the name "Warner Bros. Discovery." Jesus. Who the fuck gives a shit about Discovery? Why rename your entire company to add something that has ridiculously poor brand recognition? The channel is still "Discovery" so what the fuck does that have to do with Warner Bros.?!? God... I just... HEY, DUMBASSES, I CAN CONSULT WITH YOUR BRANDING FOR FAR LESS MONEY THAT YOU'RE LOSING WITH ALL THESE SHITTY DECISIONS! CALL ME!

Siri, the Apple digital "assistant," made me totally lose my shit today.

I needed to sweep out the garage, so I told Siri to unlock the front door instead of opening the garage door, as I'd be parking in the driveway for a while. Siri responded with "Your front door can't do that."

And I lost it. Totally and completely lost it.

I was screaming in my car... "CAN'T DO THAT? MY FRONT DOOR CAN'T UNLOCK? WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT?!? YOU'VE UNLOCKED IT BEFORE, SO WHAT'S CHANGED? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE THE MOST WORTHLESS FUCKING PILE OF TECH TRASH SINCE MICROSOFT BOB! HOW THE FUCK DOES APPLE CONSIDER YOU TO BE A SMART ASSISTANT? YOU'RE THE DUMBEST ASSISTANT IN THE HISTORY OF SCIENCE! EVEN THOMAS MIDGLEY JR. WAS JUST EVIL AND NOT INCOMPETENT LIKE THIS. FUCK OFF... FUCK YOU... AND DEFINITELY FUCK APPLE!!!"

I would have kept going, but I was home already.

And here's the thing. Siri was listening to my rant the entire time. The rainbow glow was circling my CarPlay screen, so it was all recorded. Then it was assumably sent to Apple. And I hope they listen to it, because they've earned every fucking word.

There was good news to be had, however.

Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman are back with another season of their Long Way... series on AppleTV+ where they take a big motorcycle trip together. It's always a wonderful adventure, and this time looks like no exception...

The thing that strikes me when watching the show is just how incredibly nice Ewan McGregor is to the people he meets. Never has an unkind word. Always willing to engage with fans. Never gets tired of chatting about Star Wars. All too often, big Hollywood stars end up being such assholes. It's so refreshing to see the opposite of that.

Especially on a show this good.

Which is well worth your time whether you like motorcycles or not.

What the hell is wrong with app developers now-a-days? Do they just not give a shit? Do they not beta test? Do they not use their own software? Because I've been trying my best to understand why 90% of the apps I use are total crap, and I am at a complete loss.

Apple HomeKit HomeShit's app is the obvious contender for worst of the worst. It's so insanely bad that I automatically assume it will fail at what I want it to do. We were promised that Siri with Apple Intelligence would fix how utterly brain-dead their tech is at implementing even the most basic commands, but now Apple is delaying the rollout... despite the fact that they sold me my new iPhone based on smarter Siri coming soon! They had commercials with Bella Ramsey advertising it and everything! So now there are lawsuits by people who feel misled. And I want to join up because I'm definitely feeling like Apple has taken a giant shit on me yet again. I don't give a fuck about "Apple Intelligence"... just make it so I can get an automation to work for more than a day and let me control my home on my Mac without having to constantly restart the Home app. And, while you're at it, stop having your iPod mini tell me to switch to my iPhone app to open a damn door WHEN I AM TALKING INTO MY iPHONE AND SIRI HAS ACKNOWLEDGED THAT I'M SPEAKING TO IT THERE!

But the thing that happened today which compelled me to write this post?

Microsoft.

Who else? They have a long, long legacy of bullshit.

So there I was logging in to a shared drive on Microsoft servers when I get a message that I need to authorize access with the Microsoft Authenticator app. Authenticating is normal now, alas, and many companies are doing it to curb piracy. Adobe apps are all authenticated with their app, for example.

But unlike Adobe, where my Apple Watch will display buttons to allow or reject access... Microsoft has only ONE button after asking you to approve sign-in: Dismiss.

What the entire fuck?

Why even bother to have Apple Watch services if they aren't worth a shit? If I am going to have to open my iPhone to authenticate, fine, but leave my watch the hell out of it. Why pester me with a question that's impossible to answer?

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

How are Microsoft developers, who obviously know what they coded into the app, looking at this stupid bullshit and saying "Yep! That's the way we want it to work!"

The future may be now, but the technology of the future sucks.

   
UPDATE: Right on queue, Marques has some thoughts...

It's beyond shitty how Apple has degenerated to its current state. I can't fathom this kind of bullshit happening when Steve Jobs was running the company.