Despite being a certified Apple whore, I have never hesitated to call out their "smart voice assistant" as being stupid as shit. And even that's being generous. I wrote sometime last year that I was seriously excited that Apple Intelligence was coming to smarten Siri up and make the technology finally be consistently useful.

Well, I think we all know how that turned out.

I've been in on Apple's take on AI since the developer's beta, and Siri is stupid as ever. Absolutely nothing has changed. Basic commands fail at an alarming rate. Trying to get Siri to understand anything is a challenge. I have gotten so frustrated at times that I've been screaming at an iPod mini in the bathroom while getting ready for work... or into my iPhone in my pocket from my AirPods... or at CarPlay while driving.

Just today I asked Siri via CarPlay to get me directions to the grocery store in Big City. I knew where it was, but wanted the fastest route from where I was at. I asked, very specifically, for the store I wanted. Siri still gave me two options... one in the next city over that was farther away... which is absolute madness. After having to tap the screen for the one I wanted because I didn't know how the fuck you vocally tell Siri which option to use when you've already given it the literal city and street, Apple Maps sent me in the opposite fucking direction. So I gave up and told Siri to "cancel navigation." After a seriously long pause, Siri said that it couldn't do that right now, then proceeded to keep giving me directions to the wrong store. And it's like... what, exactly, the fuck do you have to do to just get Siri to send you to the fucking store that you asked for in the first place?

I was so fucking enraged by the time I made two taps on the screen to cancel the wrong directions that I very nearly punched my finger through the damn screen. Siri is fucking useless and Apple "Intelligence" is a fucking joke.

The problem is magnified exponentially when you're attempting to get Siri to take control of shitty fucking Apple tech like HomeKit. My God. How basic of a command is "Hey Siri, turn off the kitchen lights?" that Siri doesn't know what in the hell to do? How big of a fucking failure is your technology if the most rudimentary commands can't be interpreted?

And it ain't just me. This story on Daring Fireball is pathetically hilarious: Siri Is Super Dumb and Getting Dumber.

Yep. That pretty much sums it up.

I may not be at home, but I'm still tossing bullets aplenty... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Cinematic Apathy! Simon Stålenhag is a brilliant, brilliant writer/artist who has crafted some of the most amazing books you'll ever see. The Electric State is a beautifully dark and haunting tale where every illustration looks like it belongs in a museum. The Russo Brothers, whose Avengers movies are genius, made a boring, safe adaptation that completely misses the point (on Netflix). It's awful, even though the source material is phenomenal still...

Even if it were a completely new movie that was an original work it would be awful.

   
• Qualls! This is easily one of the best Hollywood interviews I’ve ever seen...

What a fascinating guy.

   
• Port of Seattle! I’ve been saying for decades that SeaTac Airport (AKA Seattle-Tacoma Airport) is one of the shittiest airports in the world, even on the Federal level at Border Control. As you can see here. The airport is busted, nonsensical, inconvenient, and prioritizes space for businesses over space and comfort for passengers. I am filled with dread every time I fly out of the shithole. And I’m filled with embarrassment whenever visitors have to use it.

   
• Found On The Internet Part 7,365,411! I could use this award almost daily...

And so could you if you read this blog daily!

   
• Reagan?! I'll just put these videos here for no particular reason...

No reason at all.

   
• Lumon Terminal Pro! BWAH HA HA HAAAA! If you're watching Severance on AppleTV+, then Apple's latest computer may interest you...

   
• Vaccinate! I feel bad that anybody suffers the consequences of science-denial... it's all programming and ignorance... but I feel even more terrible that their children have to suffer with them. Because Jesus Christ...

Your God gave us vaccines, but here you are... wanting your child to die instead of accepting a literal miracle that was handed to you.

   
See you on the other side of the mountains. One of these days.

What the hell is wrong with app developers now-a-days? Do they just not give a shit? Do they not beta test? Do they not use their own software? Because I've been trying my best to understand why 90% of the apps I use are total crap, and I am at a complete loss.

Apple HomeKit HomeShit's app is the obvious contender for worst of the worst. It's so insanely bad that I automatically assume it will fail at what I want it to do. We were promised that Siri with Apple Intelligence would fix how utterly brain-dead their tech is at implementing even the most basic commands, but now Apple is delaying the rollout... despite the fact that they sold me my new iPhone based on smarter Siri coming soon! They had commercials with Bella Ramsey advertising it and everything! So now there are lawsuits by people who feel misled. And I want to join up because I'm definitely feeling like Apple has taken a giant shit on me yet again. I don't give a fuck about "Apple Intelligence"... just make it so I can get an automation to work for more than a day and let me control my home on my Mac without having to constantly restart the Home app. And, while you're at it, stop having your iPod mini tell me to switch to my iPhone app to open a damn door WHEN I AM TALKING INTO MY iPHONE AND SIRI HAS ACKNOWLEDGED THAT I'M SPEAKING TO IT THERE!

But the thing that happened today which compelled me to write this post?

Microsoft.

Who else? They have a long, long legacy of bullshit.

So there I was logging in to a shared drive on Microsoft servers when I get a message that I need to authorize access with the Microsoft Authenticator app. Authenticating is normal now, alas, and many companies are doing it to curb piracy. Adobe apps are all authenticated with their app, for example.

But unlike Adobe, where my Apple Watch will display buttons to allow or reject access... Microsoft has only ONE button after asking you to approve sign-in: Dismiss.

What the entire fuck?

Why even bother to have Apple Watch services if they aren't worth a shit? If I am going to have to open my iPhone to authenticate, fine, but leave my watch the hell out of it. Why pester me with a question that's impossible to answer?

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

How are Microsoft developers, who obviously know what they coded into the app, looking at this stupid bullshit and saying "Yep! That's the way we want it to work!"

The future may be now, but the technology of the future sucks.

   
UPDATE: Right on queue, Marques has some thoughts...

It's beyond shitty how Apple has degenerated to its current state. I can't fathom this kind of bullshit happening when Steve Jobs was running the company.

Siri, the Apple digital "assistant," made me totally lose my shit today.

I needed to sweep out the garage, so I told Siri to unlock the front door instead of opening the garage door, as I'd be parking in the driveway for a while. Siri responded with "Your front door can't do that."

And I lost it. Totally and completely lost it.

I was screaming in my car... "CAN'T DO THAT? MY FRONT DOOR CAN'T UNLOCK? WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT?!? YOU'VE UNLOCKED IT BEFORE, SO WHAT'S CHANGED? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE THE MOST WORTHLESS FUCKING PILE OF TECH TRASH SINCE MICROSOFT BOB! HOW THE FUCK DOES APPLE CONSIDER YOU TO BE A SMART ASSISTANT? YOU'RE THE DUMBEST ASSISTANT IN THE HISTORY OF SCIENCE! EVEN THOMAS MIDGLEY JR. WAS JUST EVIL AND NOT INCOMPETENT LIKE THIS. FUCK OFF... FUCK YOU... AND DEFINITELY FUCK APPLE!!!"

I would have kept going, but I was home already.

And here's the thing. Siri was listening to my rant the entire time. The rainbow glow was circling my CarPlay screen, so it was all recorded. Then it was assumably sent to Apple. And I hope they listen to it, because they've earned every fucking word.

There was good news to be had, however.

Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman are back with another season of their Long Way... series on AppleTV+ where they take a big motorcycle trip together. It's always a wonderful adventure, and this time looks like no exception...

The thing that strikes me when watching the show is just how incredibly nice Ewan McGregor is to the people he meets. Never has an unkind word. Always willing to engage with fans. Never gets tired of chatting about Star Wars. All too often, big Hollywood stars end up being such assholes. It's so refreshing to see the opposite of that.

Especially on a show this good.

Which is well worth your time whether you like motorcycles or not.

And so I downloaded Microsoft Outlook today.

Apple Mail has been a useless pile of garbage from the beginning yet Apple does not give a single shit. It's tied to absolutely everything else in MacOS, so you pretty much have to use it, but Apple doesn't care if it sucks.

But it gets so much worse the more you use it.

Searching for a word? Fine. Here's a list of emails that word appears in. But then you have to search within the search results to find out where the word actually occurs.

But it gets so much worse than just that.

The thing that sent me into a rage this morning that made me go running to download Microsoft Outlook? Something so outrageously stupid that I cannot wrap my head around it... SEARCH RESULTS IN APPLE MAIL ARE FUCKING CASE SENSITIVE?!? Jesus. Who the fuck does that? This is absolute insanity. Especially for names which have multiple capitalization options, meaning you have to search 3 or 4 times before you get anywhere. Madness. Absolute fucking madness.

But it gets so much worse than just that.

Most of the time when trying to actually get results out of Apple Mail search... the app crashes. MacOS gives you a full-on crash report and everything!

But anyway...

I know that other email programs make search much, much easier. For one thing, they don't immediately crash. For another, search results are only case-sensitive if you want them to be. For yet another, you search once for a word or phrase and the word or phrase is highlighted in all the emails where the app found results. You don't have to re-search or scroll forever (since re-searches crash the app).

And, yep, sure enough... Microsoft Outlook is a frickin' dream to use. Not just for search but for everything. It's not as integrated into MacOS X as I'd like, but it's so much easier to use and so much more capable that I just don't give a shit. I'll start up Apple Mail if it turns out I have to.

Way to go, Apple.

How long is it before I give up on MacOS X and Mac and start using Windows PCs? No idea, but it will be all your fault if it happens.

Pre-social-media when blogging was the way that we kept in touch with each other, you could either check the blogs over and over until they updated... or you could subscribe to the blog's feed and have your feed reader let you know when it got updated.

In the beginning there were paid apps and services for feed reading, but then Google decided to enter the fray and give it away for free. This meant all the apps and services could no longer survive, so they started dropping like flies.

Then Google decided they didn't want to do feed reading any more (apparently they couldn't make enough money at it), and shut down Google Reader. Since most of the apps and services that were around were gone, Google ended up fucking things up for everybody.

Eventually apps and services went back into development. I was using NetNewsWire for ages, but eventually switched to Reeder. But as time went on, the only way to get all the latest features... such as feed filtering by keyword... was to switch to a new version which absolutely sucked because they introduced an entirely new way to read your feeds. I hated it, so I stayed with the older version, but missed out on the features I wanted.

Last week I couldn't take it any more and decided to take a look for something new.

I am not exaggerating... I have discovered Inoreader and I am very close to breaking down in tears from happiness.

It is exactly what I want in a feed reader. Instead of trying to reinvent how I read feeds and force some wacky methodology on me to get modern features, it just adds the cool things I've been dying to have on top of a familiar reading experience.

As I mentioned, I've been desperate for keyword filtering... AKA being able to NOT SEE articles that I want to avoid based on keywords. Are you sick to death of reading about Elon Musk and Tesla? No problem! Write a rule. Have them marked as read so they don't show up at all. Done! Prayers answered.

Plus it can create intelligent summaries for long articles that are ACTUALLY USEFUL. Take for example the entry I wrote on Unnecessary Luxuries. Here's an Inoreader summary of the rather long article...

The article "Unnecessary Luxuries" by Dave2 discusses the author's perspective on spending and the concept of luxury in everyday life. Here are the key points:
   
Frugality and Happiness: The author emphasizes a preference for saving money rather than indulging in luxuries, suggesting that having savings is the ultimate luxury.
   
Basic Necessities vs. Luxuries: The article distinguishes between essential needs (health, food, shelter, etc.) and luxuries, arguing that once basic needs are met, most additional items are unnecessary.
   
Top Ten Unnecessary Luxuries: The author lists ten luxuries that, while not essential, significantly enhance comfort and convenience:
   
Central Air: Provides comfort during extreme weather.
   
Washer & Dryer: Saves time and effort compared to laundromats.
   
Garage: Offers protection for vehicles and additional storage space.
   
Lawn Sprinkler System: Automates yard maintenance, saving time and effort.
   
Garage Freezer: Increases food storage capacity, allowing for bulk purchases.
   
Power Tools: Enable DIY repairs and projects, providing both utility and enjoyment.
   
Automated Litter Box: Simplifies pet care and maintenance.
   
Air Fryer Multi-Oven: Combines multiple cooking functions into one appliance.
   
Backup Cam: Enhances safety and convenience while driving.
   
Floor Scrubber: Makes cleaning floors easier and more effective.
   
Honorable Mention: The author mentions the Ninja Creami as a luxury for making small batches of ice cream, reflecting on its practicality and convenience.
   
Shift in Priorities: The author notes a change in personal priorities, indicating that travel, once a luxury, is no longer a focus now that they have experienced it.
   
Technology Frustration: The article concludes with a humorous anecdote about the author's frustrating experience with a voice-controlled smart assistant, highlighting that not all technology is beneficial.
   
Overall, the article presents a light-hearted take on how certain luxuries can enhance life, even if they are not strictly necessary, while advocating for a balanced approach to spending and saving.

It's amazing. And note that there's a one-click button that allowed me to copy this summary OUT of Inoreader... no gatekeeping here!

And you can get push notifications set for topics you're trying to keep on top of.

It's just amazing on top of amazing. After using it less than an hour I decided that I will be buying a pro subscription when my free 14 day trial runs out.

The only missing piece I've found is that there's no app for the Mac and you have to use a browser (there's only apps for iPhone and Android so far). Hopefully one day we'll see one for Mac. But still... worth it. Absolutely worth it. Worth using. Worth paying for. Worth your valuable time to look at. I have been looking for EXACTLY THIS for over a year. And here it is.

Thank you, Inoreader... you're doing God's work.