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CYBERRRRRR!

Posted on Friday, December 1st, 2023

Dave!Oooh look! It's officially Cybertruck Day!

Which is to say that Tesla is finally... slowly... releasing Cybertrucks to those who had the massive amount of money needed to buy one. I think ten people got their's today.

But, more importantly, today is the day that the journalistic embargo on reviews ends, so everybody and their dog is rushing to publish their hot takes on the future of automobiles. But don't worry, I'm going to save you from having to wade through all of that by providing a link to the only tech reviewer that I consider to be essential, Marques Brownlee...

Now, I'm of the opinion that this is one butt-ugly vehicle and I wouldn't buy one... and certainly wouldn't pay $60,000 (minimum!) to own one. But I'll be the first to admit that it has some truly cool tech in it. Tech that I hope eventually trickles down to cars for the rest of us.

Or, if somebody wants to buy me one, that would work too.

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Caturday 333

Posted on Saturday, December 2nd, 2023

Dave!It's snowed a little bit this week, but yesterday is when it really hammered us. This is a confusing time for my cats, as they don't have very good long-term memories. To them, they've never seen snow before, so this is something wild and new.

But first... I've been playing with macro photography on my iPhone, so here's a macro photo of Jake...

And now back to the snow.

Jenny was a brave little girl and charged outside right after breakfast. She shook her little feet with each step because she did not like them getting wet. But then she decided to dig a hole in it to see what it was all about...

Jenny in the catio snow.

Jake, on the other hand, prefered to view the madness from the safety (and warmth) from inside...

Jake looking outside.

Maybe later this week I'll shovel more snow into the catio so they have enough to play in. That's always good for big fun.

And speaking of big fun... it's almost their dinnertime.

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Bullet Sunday 833

Posted on Sunday, December 3rd, 2023

Dave!SNOWWWWW! But don't let my misfortune get you down... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• You've Been Sached! The AppleCard credit card has features I absolutely love. But it's not the best bargain (the cash-back is crap, and you don't even get 5% on Apple purchases!). But the worst part is that the card is issued by Goldman Sachs, which is a reprehensible company, and I make damn sure that I never carry a balance so that I never pay any interest to them. But then it was revealed that Goldman Sachs has lost $3 billion on the card since it began. Don't ask me how, unless everybody else is also refusing to carry a balance and not paying them any interest. Regardless, they want out of the AppleCard business, so now Apple is (reportedly) looking for a new partner. I'm relieved... but also dubious because there are a lot of shitty financial institutions out there.

   
• Stamped! If I didn't follow Ibram X. Kendi on Facebook, I wouldn't have known that a movie based on his book Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America had been released on Netflix. The reason being that it wasn't being promoted on my Netflix homepage. I had to search for it. Most definitely worth your valuable time to watch. I had already read the book, but the way they visually represented the material and had speakers relate ideas with passion and feeling elevated it to essential viewing...

I can only hope that Kendi's follow-up, How to Be an Antiracist gets a movie too. It's an important work that, like Stamped, should have the widest audience pssible.

   
• Indy 5! I loved Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, liked Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, loved Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade... and absolutely HATED Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It was SO bad, and I was of the opinion that it was best if the Indiana Jones franchise died right there since they had clearly ran out of ideas. But along comes Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, and I'm very glad that this is the movie that Indy gets to go out on, because I liked it quite a lot...

Yes, much of the movie was fan service. Yes, it desperately needed to be edited for length. Yes, they pushed into some truly bizarre areas. But ultimately there was a ton of action and was a lot of fun to watch. You can tell that they used the original film as inspiration for this one. And while it can never compete with Raiders, I do think it's a worthy (and final?) addition to the franchise (unlike Crystal Skull, which I try my best to forget.

   
• Just Sew! My grandmother taught me to sew from a young age because she wanted me to be able to mend and make clothes. It's a skill that I've used quite a lot over the years in both my personal and work lives, so I'm grateful. But I never really thought about how a sewing machine actually works. And now this...

And now I know. Though it still seems like magic is involved.

   
• Not Sad You're Dead! I sincerely hope that Henry Kissinger rots in hell for all eternity. Because I’ve been to Cambodia AND Laos (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

@idea.soup and this was just ONE of many awful things he did (PS: the country’s name can also be pronounced ‘Lao’ but I chose to go with English pronunciation for this video) #history #henrykissinger #historylesson #historytime #laos ♬ original sound - Michael McBride

And that's just scratching the surface. There's no end to the trauma he's responsible for. The sadistic fuck. The world is far better off without him in it. And you can miss me with the whole don't-speak-ill-of-the-dead-have-some-respect-think-of-his-family bullshit. He gave less than zero fucks for all the death and destruction he caused... and even less for the families left behind... so I have less than zero fucks about him.

And just in case you'd like an extra dose of Michael McBride, and why wouldn't you, here you go. This is wild (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

@idea.soup #stitch with @Wake Moody I’m actually a huge Pusha T fan #interestingfacts #funfact #hiphop #hiphopfacts #musicfacts ♬ original sound - Michael McBride

He's not wrong. If you are even remotely familia with Pusha T's music, this is absolutely bonkers. Clearly he's just that damn talented.

   
• Lyme-Flavored! And just because I can't help myself... here's the first video I ever saw by Michael McBride which still enrages me...

Anti-vax dumbfucks. The gift that keeps on giving.

   
• MOOOOOON! And just in case your quota of wackyness is lacking this week, here's a total goofball video that's big fun to watch...

Truth is often stranger than fiction. And here it is.

   
And now back to my snow day, currently in progress.

   

Countertops and FBLTCs

Posted on Monday, December 4th, 2023

Dave!Yesterday I wanted FBLTCs for dinner (Fake Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato, and Cheese Sandwiches). But, alas, when my grocery order arrived there was no bread. The one I asked for wasn't available so they substituted... nothing?!? It's white bread. For the love of God, Safeway, substitute ANY OTHER WHITE BREAD, like you substitute for everything else.

So anyway... that meant I had to make some bread.

A big part of the reason I wanted my kitchen remodeled? SEALED COUNTERTOPS. I've never had them before. I prefer a wood cutting board for chopping stuff up... but it kinda skeeves me out to have something wet like bread dough being scraped off wood with all the cuts on it. With sealed countertops, you can scrub them down with baking soda, disinfect them with white vinegar, then wipe them up with a hot water bath and know it's perfectly clean with no creepy crevices to scrape out of. Especially lately as I've been experimenting with a stickier SourJo bread dough... it still ends up with that super-dense texture I love, but has a crustier crust on it...

I think next I'll start experimenting with a longer third rise to get some air in it and see if I still like it as much. I usually prefer a bread with fewer holes so that condiments don't leak through it... but I had a rustic loaf last week that was really delicious, so maybe it's time I try something different.

But anyway... about those FBLTCs...

Too delicious. Many thanks to Morningstar Farms for their soy bacon, which tastes darn good in these sandos.

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Entitled to Plagiarism, But That’s All

Posted on Tuesday, December 5th, 2023

Dave!"What are you gonna do? Complain? And start a massive public fight with someone extremely famous and get smashed into dust by thousands of fans? No thanks. And that was my Uber, too! I paid money to have one of my jokes stolen by a multi-millionaire! When people hit a certain level of celebrity they start to think the world actually revolves around them and they can just take something if they want and say it's theirs." — hbomberguy, Harris Michael Brewis

Blogography has been going on for a while now. Over twenty years, to be exact. And the vast majority of that time I've been posting daily. As you might guess, having twenty years of content on the internet means that you've got loads of stuff for people to steal and claim as their own.

And it does happen. I regularly get people writing to me saying "Did you know this person is taking your stuff?" Usually it's DaveToons or my photos. Sometimes it's my posts. Twice it's been people stealing entire months of my posts and pretending to be living my life. Including the time a person stole my travel posts, including those talking about blogger meets that I had organized!

Back in my early days, I would write to them and ask them to credit where they got the material or take it down. Eventually that was too much effort so... as long as they weren't making money off my work... I just let it be. If they were making money off my work (when I myself am not), I'd usually send them a bill with a usage fee. They'd never pay it, but odds are they would take it down. A notable exception being a very famous blogger (circa 2007) who stole one of my posts (complete with my photos!). I sent them a bill for $2,500. They replied telling me "no" and said that I should be grateful that they were giving me "exposure"... except they weren't, because my name or a link to my blog was nowhere to be found. Rather than risking all-out war, I let it drop. Which is why when they had a spectacular downfall due to a bit of a scandal years later, I chalked it up to karma.

There is an exception to my kindness, however. If you're using my work to promote hate speech or to promote people who promote hate speech, I threaten legal action. At least I do now. Back in the day I was far more crude. Once some hateful "Christian" organization used one of my photos in an article condemning homosexuality. I was furious. But first I was devastated, because it came the day after a young gay man had taken his own life after relentless bullying. My photo was being used to create an atmosphere so toxic that this young man would rather die than have to live in it. And that caused me to become unhinged. So I changed their hotlink to point to a photo of gay oral sex which had "BLOW ME!" written on it. It was like that for at least two weeks before they noticed, at which time they wrote with their intent to sue. I told them to go fuck themselves, and to stop stealing my shit or I would be the one suing them.

On the other end of the spectrum, I also get people writing to me and requesting permission to use my stuff. So long as they are not making money off of it and it's not promoting hate speech, I always agree. And if they keep the copyright intact, I don't require them to credit me. If they're a charity or an educational organization, I even volunteer to make changes if it would be more helpful to what they're using it for.

And, yes, I do realize that there is likely a ton of my content that's been stolen which I will never know about. Especially by video creators, which brings us to the reason for this post. "hbomberguy" (AKA Harris Michael Brewis) whom I have been following for a while, just released an epic 3 hour and 50 minute video which discusses plagiarism on YouTube. And he has some fantastic examples within. I know that this is an incredibly long video, but it's well worth your time to watch. And I hope you do, because it's a treat...

I am confident that YouTube, as a part of Google, has all the tools they need to go after those who plagerize their content. But they won't be proactive like that because videos make them money with ad revenue, and it's not in their best interest to be proactive like that.

Except on behalf of major movie studios and record labels who have the money to seriously sue them if they don't at least search for stolen songs and clips from movies and television shows.

As for blogs like mine? We're entitled to nothing at all. Well, except plagiarism, obviously.

How typical.

But I'm used to it. And have been for a very long time.

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The Half-Life of a Cat

Posted on Wednesday, December 6th, 2023

Dave!Jake and Jenny turn 8 years old today. Well, probably today. They were found in the wild, so their birthday has always been estimated.

Last year was more than a little upsetting for me, because most cats only live 13 to 14 years old, which means December 2022 was the half-way point of their expected lifetime. Sure there are cats that live to be 18 years old, but this is not common. Which is to say that if they weren't at their half-life last year, they most certainly are this year.

It's tough to wrap my head around, because it seems like they only arrived yesterday...

Jenny & Jake

So, yeah, celebrating Jake and Jenny's birthday from here on out is just going to be a celebration of them being around for another year. Because that's pretty much what it has to be, doesn't it?

Jenny stretching out across my arm.

Jake laying his chin across my legs looking bored.

Happy 8th birthday to my two knuckleheads. My life is better because you're both in it.

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Moving Violations in Slush

Posted on Thursday, December 7th, 2023

Dave!With winter arriving, the roads are going through this cycle of snow, slush, and ice that's not a big deal if you know what you're doing... but it's a definite challenge if you don't. And there's some people who definitely do not. The trick is to make sure that you don't get into trouble because they get into trouble. It's always been tricky, but in a day-and-age when people can't seem to get off their phones, it's worse. Washington State has a "distracted driving" law, but it doesn't seem to make much difference.

But anyway...

Yesterday was a bit of a rain day which melted the snow we got over the weekend into slush. The slush managed to pull a car off the road, which wasn't anything serious, but it did get me thinking about how this is going to be happening more and more over the next three months or so.

Hopefully that's the worst of it all this year.

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Not Mr. Monk’s Last Case

Posted on Friday, December 8th, 2023

Dave!Today was a rough day at work, but it went easier knowing that when I got home I'd be able to watch the new Monk movie. The series (which ran for 8 seasons) ended 14 years ago, and we're finally getting a follow-up. My mom liked the show, so I'm more than a little sad that she wasn't here to watch it, but I'm really glad that somebody at Peacock TV had the good sense to make it happen...

Mr. Monk Poster with Monk and a pocket full of face masks.

Wisely, they integrated the pandemic into the show, which seemed like a natural. It would have been weird if they hadn't done that.

Most of the cast is back. With the exception of Sharona, who is at home with her and Randy's new baby. Despite the fact that everybody went their separate ways at the end of the series, they're back in San Francisco for Monk's stepdaughter's wedding. Unfortunately, the groom died before that could happen, which becomes a case for Mr. Monk when she is convinced that her husband-to-be was murdered.

What happens after that is very much yet another Monk mystery.

Which is not a criticism. That's exactly what you'd want it to be. Anything less would be disappointing...

Natalie, Monk, Leland, and Randy

Personally, I loved the movie. I think that any Monk fan would. It hit all the right notes and had a sentimental streak that tugged at all the heartstrings.

And I was absolutely left wanting more.

Seriously, I don't want Mr. Monk's Last Case to be his last case at all. I really hope that Peacock TV has such a big hit on their hands that they are compelled to run another series and that the cast agrees to return for it. Sure it would be tough to find a way to bring back Natalie and Randy considering their characters are no longer in San Francisco, but nothing's impossible in television fiction!

But anyway... this movie was released a little but under the radar, which is why I'm telling you about it. If you liked the original, it's a no-brainer to tune in.

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Caturday 334

Posted on Saturday, December 9th, 2023

Dave!Jenny is a very smart cat. Very.

This poast week Jenny met me in the kitchen and was complaining about something. I didn't know what until I went to sit down in the living room. Jake was in her spot. She likes the warming pad that's next to me, and Jake usually takes the heating pad on the loveseat across from that.

And I was like "Well, he beat you to it, so you can sit on his spot." BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID? Something she's done many times, but I never realized it until now. She scratches on the scratching post behind the loveseat knowing that as soon as she starts, Jake will come running to investigate and start scratching himself. And as soon as he did, she came running around the corner so she can get petted and take her spot back.

I know this is unbelievable, but heeeeere's the video...

Note how Jake wanders off, not even knowing that he's been played.

Speaking of Jake. He's finally started going outside to see the snow, though he doesn't seem to know what to make of it...

Sometime soon, I need to shovel some snow into the catio so they can play in it.

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Bullet Sunday 834

Posted on Sunday, December 10th, 2023

Dave!Well, here we go again... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Swifty! “They had to work really hard to get the tickets,” she says. “I wanted to play a show that was longer than they ever thought it would be, because that makes me feel good leaving the stadium.” — People can feel however they want to feel about Taylor Swift and her music... but there is absolutely no denying that she works incredibly hard for everything she has and gives her all to everything she does, and that is deserving of respect. I think her getting "Person of The Year" is completely valid...

Taylor Swift on the cover of Time Magazine.

Reading the article, it doesn't seem a bad choice at all. My favorite part is that when she was denied her first big gig supporting Kenny Chesney because it was sponsored by a beer company and she was underage, Chesney cut her a check anyway. Her first thought to do with this major windfall was to pay her band and tour crew. I may believe that billionaires shouldn't exist... but if they must, I sure wish more of them acted like Taylor Swift.

   
• Sundays! Me. Trying to hold a discussion about sportsball...

Right?

   
• Delicious! Why is it that little red pandas always look like they're saying Come at me bro! when they stand up like this?

When they're not standing upright, they're one of the cutest things alive...

Now I want a red panda.

   
• Martians! A lot has (rightfully) been thrown at Jared Leto for his acting and, more importantly, his acting behavior. But I really do like his singing with Thirty Seconds to Mars...

I mean, come on. That's a great track.

   
• Slough! Today Apple TV+ advertised Slow Horses: Season 3 starring GARY OLDMAN AND KRISTIN SCOTT THOMAS?!? I didn't even know that Season's 1 & 2 existed! So I tuned in. And it's a fantastic series...

It's brutal and packed with drama one minute... then is played for comedy the next. And yet it somehow... works? I have no idea how this show escaped my notice... but I'm all in now.

   
• Name That Tune! One of my favorite recent discoveries on Youtube is this street trivia game that has random people guessing music...

And sometimes not so random people too...

The channel is Public Opinion NYC, and if you're looking for a diversion and like music... it may be worth checking out!

   
• Spin, Eat, Repeat! Round and Round, the Hanukkah Hallmark Channel movie this year is the absolute best. It’s clever, smart, funny... and features 80’s music, geek culture, comic books, and a hefty nod to some time travel movies which came before (except the one that really matters, but we'll get to that). It’s like somebody wrote this one just for me! But anyway... a woman has a disastrous 7th night of Hanukkah... that keeps repeating. Just like in Groundhog Day, which they are quick to acknowledge in the story. And just like in that film, she has to figure out why she's stuck in a time loop and how she can get out of it...

Movie poster for Round and Round.

That alone would be worth watching, but they toss in a twist at the end which has you completely recontextualizing everything you've seen. I had to go back and see if I missed some clues. Turns out I really didn't, which was disappointing. The only way this could have been better would be to have made the twist apparent when you rewatched it. Then there's the fact that the twist is kinda-sorta from one of my all-time favorite time travel movies, which I can't mention because it will give it away. But blah blah blah. This is a fantastic film with stellar performances that are built around a great story. One of my favorite Hallmark movies ever.

   
There we went again. See you next Sunday for more bullets.

   

Hoppy Monday

Posted on Monday, December 11th, 2023

Dave!The day just started, I haven't even made it into the office yet, and I'm already having a really bad day.

Fortunately my Instagram feed was there to get me started.

Because there's cute. And then there's this...

Hoppy Monday.

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Sometimes Mondays Happen on a Tuesday

Posted on Tuesday, December 12th, 2023

Dave!And I thought that yesterday was awful.

Today was even worse than yesterday, which was punctuated by my tripping and falling on a concrete floor. I managed to twist my ankle and bang up my knee, which resulted in my leaving to put my leg up while working from home the rest of the day.

Then I got mired in a conundrum which has no solution. My knee freezes up if I don't move it enough. But moving it is really painful, so I don't move it unless I have to. Which means that when the kitty dinner alarm rang, Jake and Jenny were furious that it took me so long to hobble across the house and mash up their tuna for them. By the time I made it into the kitchen, they were both sitting next to me, squawking and meowing their displeasure as I tried to tear open a flat-pack of Starkist.

They were, after all, STARVING TO DEATH!

I don't feed them the packs of tuna or salmon often because it's lacking sufficient amounts of the taurine additive that cats need in their food for some reason. And it's expensive as hell. But they love it above all other foods (probably because it's actual meat they can sink their teeth into and not some processed glop), so I break it out for special occasions. Like taking extra time to get their dinner ready.

Except...

The minute the package is open, they can smell the putrid fish they adore, which always sends them in a frenzy. The trip from the counter to their feeding station might as well have taken an eternity, given the way they were acting. It was crazy enough that I said (out loud) "You guys, I'm doing the best I can!"

This resulted in no change of sentiment from them.

At 8:00 I took another couple Ibuprofen capsules and hobbled my way upstairs. I worried if I waited too long on the couch, my knee would be fused into position and I'd have to spend the night there.

Now I'm laying here wondering if I've made a huge mistake because my only functional bathroom is back downstairs.

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Winter is Cold for a Reason

Posted on Wednesday, December 13th, 2023

Dave!I did not anticipate that my biggest problem of the day would be how to get my socks and pants on with my screwed-up knee. And yet here we are. Drying off after my shower was equally challenging. Well, it was easy at first... then got more challenging as the task at hand went on.

But anyway...

There's a long list of people who don't like me, I'm sure. Some on the list outright hate me (maybe even you!). And I get it. To these haters I have all the wrong opinions and believe in all the wrong things. Never nind that I try to get along with everybody the best I can whether I respect their opinions and their beliefs or not... they go out of their way to make sure I know that I'm not welcome in their worldview. Sometimes it's in subtle ways that I'm not really observant enough to "get" right away. Other times it's made painfully obvious because something happens which can't be interpreted in any other way. This past week something happened like that, which was more comical than anything else. I wasn't offended or hurt or even mildly upset, because it was just so intentionally ridiculous. It was kind of an everybody-at-the-birthday-party-is-given-a-slice-of-cake-except-me scenario.

What's not obvious in this specific case is why they hate me enough to refuse me the slice of birthday cake.

Could be for any one of a hundred reasons.

Or a combination of all of them.

All I know is that I must be doing something right. Because at my party I would go out of my way to make sure everybody got cake... regardless of how I feel about them. Even if it meant giving up my slice. Meanwhile there's people out here hogging the entire cake, even when people at the party are starving. The fact that this isn't me is enough to let me sleep at night.

The realiation that there's a lot of awful people out there stopped keeping me awake a long time ago.

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What the world needs now…

Posted on Thursday, December 14th, 2023

Dave!I woke up this morning with a sense of dread.

But that was quickly replaced with gratitude, because my screwed-up knee wasn't locked up this morning. Nope... I was able to move it freely, and there wasn't any pain at all. This was unexpected. Once I crossed the big five-oh, it seems like even small tumbles which would have been shaken off immediately 20 years ago can lay me up for a week or more. I keep trying to remind myself to be more careful because getting old sucks, but my head is not cooperating. It's still governing my body as if I was 22 or something. I don't know what it's going to take for my head to get the message, but I hope it's not something too serious.

Although...

It's difficult for me to throw a pity party for my aging body when every time I read what's happening in the world it seems like something new and worse has happened. Yesterday the news hit that Andre Braugher had died. He's a remarkable actor, and his run on Homicide: Life on The Street was incredible. When he pivoted flawlessly to comedy with Brooklyn Nine-Nine, you just knew the guy was capable of absolutely anything. The official YouTube channel had a nice video tribute to him...

The last project he was in was a supporting role in The Good Fight, which was great, but there was so much more left for him to offer. He will be very much missed.

There was a glimmer of light awaiting me this morning, however.

After getting teased with this poster by Netflix...

The movie poster for Axel F showing Axel's police badge on a black background with NETFLIX COMING SUMMER 2024 written beneath it.

Today they released a teaser trailer for Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F...

Judge Reinhold, John Ashton, Paul Reiser, and Bronson Pinchot all returning. Ronny Cox absent because he passed in 2006. And I'm not seeing Héctor Elizondo, so his character must not be returning.

Almost didn't recognize Joseph Gordon-Levitt being added.

And Kevin Bacon as the villain? Nice

I was a bit disappointed by Coming 2 America, but this looks like they are embracing what made the Beverly Hills Cop franchise such a beloved trilogy (YES, I'M INCLUDING BEVERLY HILLS COP 3, BECAUSE I LIKED IT!!). Hopefully it won't disappoint.

Because what the world really needs right now is a reason to laugh.

   

Architecture Mystery Dance

Posted on Friday, December 15th, 2023

Dave!One of my long-time passions is architecture. And I don't mean just the massive feats like Westminster Abbey and The Colosseum... I love it in all its forms. Even if it's just a well-designed closet.

And every once in a while I see a feat of architectural design that blows my mind, and I obsess over it way too much. Like this "Ultimate Bachelor Pad"...

Credited to Pearsall Construction in Michigan, it's already cool on the outside, taking an (assumably) old brick building and adding a modern accent overlay on it, but where it really shines is the interior. I have combed the intenet trying to find photos or blueprints or something, but the only thing I can find is the original TikTok (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

@wayupmedia Living the bachelor life in style 😏 Builder: @pearsallconstruction #bachelor #luxurylifestyle #interiordesign #michigan #realestate ♬ original sound - lyrxcshub

Beautiful.

Now... let's take a minute to try and figure out what's happening here. There are a couple jump-cuts in that video which obscure two very important details. First of all, they jump past the dining room, which you can see through the windows in the image above, and get a tiny glimpse of on the right when the video runs through the kitchen...

A look at the dining area. Barely.

It's highly frustrating how they jump-cut past it in the video, but that's small potatoes compared to the jump-cut to that awesome bathroom.

At first I didn't even understand where the bathroom was supposed to be. Did they jump back before the laundry closet to that mystery door? But then I took another look at the exterior photo above and saw that the quick glimpse of blue sky in a window in the bathroom looks to match the windows between the bedroom and the dining area. Which means that the bathroom is through the bedroom, behind the kitchen, as implied by the video...

A look at the bathroom window. Barely.

And so... what actually is behind that mystery door between the laundry closet and the kitchen? Likely it's storage. A combination pantry and broom closet perhaps.

But where's the bedroom closet? Where do you put your clothes? I can only guess that there's a chest-of-drawers and a hanging closet between that jump-cut from the bed to the bathroom. But what does that closet look like? Is it open on both sides as you move towards the bathroom? Are there doors so your visitors don't see your wardrobe? A desk maybe? Who knows?

And then there's the home's entry room. Comparatively speaking, it's a rather large room! And I have no idea what's on the right side there. Is that a stairwell down to the ground floor? If it is, then what's outside the door there?

I'm not clear on fire codes in Michigan, but it seems strange that there's no escape route out of the living/dining area. If the entryway room is engulfed in flames, and the fire spreads to your bedroom (where you could assumably escape out the window and jump down to the building next door), what do you do? Hopefully there's a chain ladder stashed in the dining area so you can climb down to safety rather than having to jump two stories and break both your legs.

Alas, no amount of Google sleuthing has uncovered any answers.

I don't even know where it's located so I can use Google StreetView to see what the front of the building looks like and where that door might lead.

=sigh=

What I wouldn't give to see blueprints for this amazing loft.

And construction photos. Because I'm assuming that this was a complete and total gut job that was reconfigured from scratch. It would be fascinating to see what actually went into creating this place.

Including how much money went into creating this place. One thing I do know is that it wasn't cheap.

UPDATE: Lora commented (below) about how she found the building in East Jordan, MI and the back view we see in the video is on Spring Street. Walking around to the front of the building in StreetView, you can see that it was built in 1911 and how it's located at 209 Main Street...

Google StreetView of 209 Main Street in East Jordan, MI.

Googling that address brings up a real estate video from when it was for sale years ago, but no other information seems to be available. Zillow and Realtor.com doesn't have any information on the building at all... as if it doesn't even exist.

In any event, I'm more confused than ever about where the door in the front entry goes. Is there a little sun room for that window box out there? It seems to be confirmed that there are stairs on the right-hand side of the entry as I suspected. That would be the left-hand side of the front of the building, where you can kinda make out a green door behind the vestibule there. That makes this building seem like it has to be far longer than it seems.

But anyway... would still love to see the blueprints for the remodel. This remains one of the best uses of space in a building like this that I have ever seen.

   

Caturday 335

Posted on Sunday, December 17th, 2023

Dave!My cats are feral rescues.

Despite all my best efforts and all the visitors that have been to my home, they still cower from strangers. And everybody but me are considered strangers. Sometimes, if there's not a lot of noise, they will venture downstairs and eventually say hello to an unknown person. But that's rare. Most times it will never happen.

And you can just forget about holding them, carrying them, or trying to get them to actually do just about anything at all.

Which is why I see videos like this and am just dumbfounded...

That would never, ever happen with Jake and Jenny.

First of all, you couldn't pick them up to put them in those chairs. Second of all, they would bail out of those chairs immediately if you were to actually get them in them. Third of all, the idea that they would in any way look like they are paying attention to anything happening that's being done by humans.

Sooooo... sorry. No funny cat videos from me.

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Bullet Sunday 835

Posted on Sunday, December 17th, 2023

Dave!Odds of a White Christmas are diminishing, but that's okay... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Scale! Unsure about your place in the universe? No worries! Turns out that you're actually the center of everything!

It's amazing how good Kurzgesagt videos are. When I see that they have something new out, I drop everything and watch it. They never disappoint. Case in point? If you have tattoos... or even if you don't... this is 1000% worth a watch...

I don't know why, but seeing this video just wants me to go get a new tattoo.

   
• Mapped! XKCD is usually good for a laugh, but this one made my brain do a flip-flop first...

A whack-a-doodle map of the USA with a lot of extra states tossed into it!

The genius is that, at first glance, you don't see anything wrong. And, because I like you, I named the extra states...

I don't know about you, but we totally should have a state named "Steve."

   
• NEWSFLASH: Stanley Tucci Going Back to Italy After Nat Geo Signs Up Former CNN Host! Stanley Tucci is a national treasure. Mostly for his movie roles (including my all-time favorites in Undercover Blues and The Devil Wears Prada). But also for his dedication to food, thanks to his amazing series called Searching for Italy. I love the show... right up until CNN stupidly canceled it a year ago. Fortunately NatGeo knows a good thing when they see it, and will pick it up again. Now titling it The Heart of Italy. And I cannot wait.

   
• FAKE! In Tokyo there's a famous area called Kappabashi Dougu Street (AKA "Kitcen Town"). It's filled with restaurant supply vendors. Kitchen equipment, dishware, decoration... it's all there. But the best thing you can buy there is fake food. Unlike in this country, most restaurants have windows filled with fake food representations of the dishes you can buy inside, and a lot of time there are prices next to each one so you also know what it's going to cost you. It's a fascinating part of Japanese culture, and now there's a video showing how this amazing fake food it crafted...

Mesmerizing. I've been to Kappabashi-dori a few times to look at all the replicas, but I don't recall ever seeing the stuff actually made.

   
• JOKE-SWAP 2024! How do they get away with this...

Easily the best thing to come out of Weekend Update, it almost makes you wish this was a weekly feature.

   
• Queen Flight! I've mentioned several times how much I love film. I've also mentioned how I'm a massive fan of film analysis. My favorite person doing analysis being Thomas Flight. One of his most famous videos is a critique of "Best Editing Oscar Winner" Bohemian Rhapsody by John Ottman. If you are not one of the 2.9 million people who saw the video, it's worth a look...

As a massive Queen fan, I ran to the theater so I could see Bohemian Rhapsody on the big screen. And, yes, this crap scene took me right out of the movie because I got whiplash trying to follow it. How could it not? To me it was just as bad as hearing a fucking "Wilhelm Scream" and being jerked out of the story. But anyway... what I didn't know is that John Ottman responded to the criticism, and Thomas made a video about that...

Ultimately I loved the movie. It's hard not to if you're a Freddie Mercury and Queen fan. But that doesn't make it above criticism. That shouldn't make it above criticism. Especially when we're talking about the editing, which wasn't that great, regardless of circumstance and the chaos of the film's production.

   
• True Lauv! Facebook Memories are a mixed bag. Sometimes it's painful memories of times I'd just as soon not revisit, but often times there's something nice awaiting me. Like a happy event, funny video, or cool song. Like this music video from last year. Lauv really knows how to craft a hook...

Most of the time, however? My Facebook memories are crowded with posts about all the travel that used to occupy my time.

   
Only one more Bullet Sunday until Christmas! Hope your shopping is finished.

   

A Measured Response

Posted on Monday, December 18th, 2023

Dave!With each passing day I grow more disillusioned with the ultimate fate of humanity.

Meaning I don't think we have one.

Now known as "Alternate Facts," misinformation is ruining everything. Everybody is so happy to stay in their little confirmation bias bubbles that they no longer feel the need to challenge their beliefs by examining expert points of view on stuff. Nope. If people say you're off your fucking nut because of the crazy shit you believe, all you have to do is go on the internet and you're guaranteed to find people who think just like you do! See?!? You're not crazy! BiggieTruther6578* says so! Fuck science and actual facts! Who needs science and actual facts? BiggieTruther6578 must know what they're talking about because they're smart like me is!

I could write a blog post about a new conspiracy theory or some random bit of misinformation every week for the rest of my life and not even come close to listing them all. You've seen the internet! It's packed with the stuff! In lieu of driving myself mad doing something self-destructive like that, I'll just focus on two of the most disturbing concepts facing all humankind in this age of misinformation.... The fake becoming real and the real becoming fake.

BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

Glad you asked! With a little help from Hbomberguy, here's examples for you...

   
The Fake Becomes Real: THERE'S A WAR ON CHRISTMAS!!!
As a non-Christian who never has anybody wishing him a "Happy Bodhi Day," I'm genuinely puzzled by the so-called "War on Christmas." It makes absolutely no fucking sense. You can still walk into your local government post office and buy a religious Christmas stamp (assuming you didn't wait too long and they're sold out), so how can there be a war on it? Especially given the overwhelming number of people who celebrate Christmas. How is it that somebody wanting to be inclusive of the many, many holidays this time of year by saying "Happy Holidays" erasing Christmas or declaring war on anything... WHEN CHRISTMAS IS A HOLIDAY AND INCLUDED WHEN YOU SAY "HAPPY HOLIDAYS??!" Nope. This is 1000% about Christians imagining they're being persecuted because it makes them feel special and closer to Jesus. Or whatever. Never mind that other holidays exist, either Christmas is the ONLY holiday in December, or else... WE'RE AT WAR!! It's like... how fucking fragile is your faith that somebody saying "Happy Holidays" is this triggering?

   
The Real Becomes Fake: THE EARTH IS NOT A GLOBE!!!
Honest to God I do not understand Flerfers (Flat Earthers). The earth being flat was debunked in 245 BC when a Greek guy named Eratosthenes measured the shadow coming off a fucking stick. Not only that, but by measuring the shadow off a stick in two different places, he was able to accurately calculate the circumference of the globe we're living on. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Technology has come a long, long way since 245 BC. We've been to the frickin' moon and pointed a camera back at the planet for God's sake (though flerfers have to call the moon landings fake despite every argument being debunked, because if the moon landings happened the earth really is a globe). But you don't even need any fancy technology like satellites and shit. Just shoot a rifle over very long distances in the Northern and Southern hemisphere and watch how your bullet veers off-target in different directions because of the Coriolis effect* (a side-effect of the rotation of the globe). Hell, you don't even need that. Just watch a ship disappear over the horizon. Good God... there's a hundred ways to verify the earth is a globe with your own eyes because if it wasn't, the things you're seeing make no sense.

   
But anyway...

You get the picture. To the people who've been conned into believing that fake stuff is real and real stuff is fake, there's simply no debate. No amount of evidence will dissuade them. THEY know the truth and YOU are a deluded moron. What happened to the time when people accepted new information and were willing to change their minds to accomodate it? Well, they still exist. But it's the ignorant masses who are growing in numbers and power. And that doesn't bode well for humanity.

I mean, it bodes very well for the people profiting off all the misinformation and lies. No debate there.

But humanity?

We're fucked.


At the time of this writing, BiggieTruther6578 doesn't exist. I checked on Google to make sure. So if, for some reason, BiggieTruther6578 actually ends up being a real person one day... oops. I'm talking about the fictional BiggieTruther6578 that I made up. I'm sure that you are right about everything.


*One of the best ways to refute flerfers who base their flerfiness on Scripture, is to present them with one of the most hardcore organizations for literal Scripture... Answers in Genesis. These are the people who believe that the earth is only 6000 years old and dinosaurs existed at the same time as people (I've been to their museum!). Even they believe that earth is a globe. They have an article on their website about how the Coriolis effect is misunderstood by flerfers and everything. And that's not all. They basically call flerfers stupid because they've regressed from what was clearly understood in the Middle Ages: earth is a sphere. I sometimes wonder if you got a flerfer in the same room with an Answers in Genesis apologist if they would cancel themselves out like matter and anti-matter and explode.

   

Sleepytime Night Night

Posted on Tuesday, December 19th, 2023

Dave!I've never had an easy time getting eight hours of sleep each night. But, then again, it's never been a huge problem for me. I'm always fully alert and active throughout the day. What changes, seemingly at random, is how early into the evening I run out of juice. And then I got an Apple Watch and finally understood why that is.

I learned fairly quickly that how much sleep I'm getting (or not gettings) isn't what's important. It's how much deep sleep that I'm getting. If I get nine hours of sleep... ten hours even... it doesn't mean anything if I get under three hours of deep sleep. I'll be a wreck the next morning, get through the day okay, then have zero energy for anything except vegging out on the couch all night. On the other hand if I get four hours of deep sleep, I will be fully rested and have a full day of energy even if that's all the sleep I get.

For the past six months I did an analysis of what I eat, how much I eat, and when I eat it. I also kept track of how much deep sleep I got. The results were interesting.

Turns out that, for me, there's a simple checklist that gets me the best possible deep sleep...

  • No caffeine after 1:00pm
  • Light dinner before 5:00pm
  • No food or drink after 6:00pm
  • In bed by 10:00pm, and lights out by 11:00pm

If I stick to that schedule I'm usually asleep between 10:30 and 11:00, and wake up between 5:30 and 6:00. This usually results in six-and-a-half to seven hours of sleep with four hours of deep sleep. And that's my happy place for being well-rested.

Last night, for example, I was in bed by 10:30. Turned the lights off at 11:00. Fell asleep at 11:33. Woke up at 5:46. This got me 6 hours and 13 minutes of sleep. But 4 hours and 21 minutes of that was deep sleep, so I was absolutely golden all day long.

All this time all I need to do was to not worry about whether or not I was getting 8 hours of sleep and shift my eating to earlier in the day. Simple.

And do you know what happens if I stay up late drinking or eat dinner too late or have too big of a meal or drink caffeine after 1:00? If I'm lucky I'll get three hours of deep sleep. But usually one or more of those factors will result in my getting less than three.

And there you have it.

Took me 30 years to get here, but at least I've finally arrived.

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Hoppy Hump Day

Posted on Wednesday, December 20th, 2023

Dave!Last Monday I ran across an Instagram video from The Kangaroo Sanctuary with an adorable baby roo hopping into a makeshift "pouch." Since then the algorithm has determined that my feed should be flooded by all kinds of baby animals. And a lot of those are other videos from The Kangaroo Sanctuary.

Like this one of last week's little girl, Pippa, learning how to hop...

And this one of baby kangaroos at feeding time...

I really wish I had known about this sanctuary when I was at Uluru. Though I did visit a Koala sancturary in Brisbane where they had all kinds of animals. Including kangaroos...

Feeding a Kangaroo!
Feeding a kangaroo. They're amazingly polite about it.

Momma Kangaroo and Joey in the Pocket
A momma kangaroo with a joey in the pocket!

Baby Joey in the Pocket!
Joey on the lookout.

Feeding a HUNGRY Kangaroo!
I CAN HAZ CRUNCHY FOOD PELLETS? NOM! NOM! NOM!

And that's enough kangaroos for the morning since I need to head into the office. Another exciting day at work awaits!

   

Drinking to Kill

Posted on Thursday, December 21st, 2023

Dave!The most terrifying moment in my entire life was when I was driving back to Boston from Maine very early in the morning and saw headlights approaching towards me in my lane. I had to turn so hard to avoid a head-on that I swear two wheels came off the pavement and I legit thought I was going to flip over. Had I been even a little less alert, I would be dead. I don't know if somebody fell asleep or what... but my immediately suspicious was that they were driving drunk. I slowed way down to see if they ended up hitting anybody behind me... but nobody was there. I was going to take the next exit and call the police, but a car with lights went blazing by before I could do it. I still consider it an absolute miracle that nobody was killed.

Which is why reading a story of a man on his fifth drunk driving charge killing all four children of a Wisconsin couple fills me with equal parts disbelief and rage. I was almost a statistic when it comes to collateral death due to drunk drivers, and here's four young people who ARE statistics. All cars need to have impaired driver detection... somehow... some way. Because people who drive drunk and live will likely never stop.

   

Caturday 336

Posted on Friday, December 22nd, 2023

Dave!Welcome to Caturday, which is on Friday because I will be away from my cats tomorrow as I make a Christmas pilgrimage to the coast.

And believe you me... my cats know what's going on.

Don't ask me how, because even if I pack my suitcase in secret, they somehow figure it out anyway. My solution now-a-days is to pack days before I leave so that they have time to calm down before I go. Because leaving while they're keyed up is not a pleasant situation for any of us.

As it was, they were mostly normal tonight...

Cats laying on my bed next to me.

Tomorrow I will try and slip out as quietly as possible. Just like I do when I go to work.

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An Easy Holiday Drive

Posted on Saturday, December 23rd, 2023

Dave!The thing about driving over the mountains is that you never know what you're going to get. In the Summer, they can have construction going on that delays you up to an hour. In the Winter, the weather can be bad which delays you up to an hour. Now, it sounds as though the weather component would be a bigger problem. Historically, that's certainly been the case. But now-a-days? You are far, far more likely to be delayed by road construction in Summer. Snow removal is actually very, very good, which keeps roads open. On top of that? We just don't get snow like we used to.

I remember driving over in the 90's where the roads had to be carved out of massive amounts of snow. It would be piled on the sides of the road so high that it towered over you. It was wild. And more than a little scary. But that rarely happens now. Sure there are days that the mountains get loads of snow... but it's just not the problem it once was.

Today's drive over the mountain was just... pretty... as shown in these shots taken from my dashcam...

Winter Road Trip... pretty with little snow.

Winter Road Trip... pretty with little snow.

Winter Road Trip... pretty with little snow.

Winter Road Trip... pretty with little snow.

Winter Road Trip... pretty with little snow.

Winter Road Trip... pretty with little snow.

Winter Road Trip... pretty with little snow.

There was only snow on the roads at the top of the mountain pass.

Not that this stopped some people from driving ten miles under the speed limit on essentially clear (albeit wet) roads. Because of course it doesn't.

That's something you can count on regardless of weather.

   

Bullet Sunday 836

Posted on Sunday, December 24th, 2023

Dave!It may be Christmas Eve, but bullets don't stop for a holiday... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• POPPED! The trend this past week in Social Media was people turning themselves into Funko POP! toys via Microsoft's AI. While not a fan of AI art intruding on our lives, for a souless application such as this, I could play along...

Me as a Funko POP!

It doesn't actually look very "POP!" like because the head is too small compared to the body. There was an option that was better, but they spelled "Geek" as "Gekk" and they forgot the "2" on my name...

Me as a Funko POP!

Funko actually has a "POP! Yourself" service, but your options are severely limited. AI-generated art has no such limitations. Even if it makes loads of other mistakes.

   
• CRED! The new South Park (Not Suitable For Children) special is totally deranged. And yet... still insightful somehow. It's like every crazy thing they've done up to this point has been merely a warmup. But of course absolutely none of the stuff that makes this movie so shocking could possibly be shown in a public video, but here you go...

I guess they have to keep pushing the limits to stay relevant? All I know is that Parker and Stone comment on current trends and events like nobody else.

   
• An End of A Murder At The End of The World! And... I had A Murder at the End of the World figured out from the very beginning. Well, the who... not the how. I was hoping that something cool would be introduced to shake things up or move things in a more interesting direction but, alas, no. Ultimately this Hulu series was okay, but it needed something... more... for it to become truly special...

Poster for the Hulu Series A Murder at the End of the Worl

Oh well. Fortunately they didn't drag it out too long. That beig said, I really, really like Emma Corrin's "Darby Hart" character and would very much like to see her return.

   
• Another Day. Another hypocrisy. Watching the co-founder of the abhorrent Hitler-worshipping organization "Moms for Liberty" getting put on blast can make my entire day. Especially when it's done as beautifully as this (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

@queenofhives #bridgetziegler #momsforliberty #fyp ♬ original sound - BEE 🐝

Because OF COURSE an organization like "Moms for Liberty" would be positively packed with hypocrites. Including their fucking co-founder Bridget Ziegler... a woman whose past actions lead one to believe that she would absolutely LOVE to outlaw homosexuality... but would also believe that those laws OBVIOUSLY don't apply to her. Jesus. Analyzing these people is so textbook as to be laughable because it's always... ALWAYS... the same. "Let me make the rules, but those rules don't apply to me!"

   
• Mooooon! And so Netflix paid Zack Snyder a crapload of money to pinch off another shitty loaf out of his ass. Good Lord Rebel Moon is bad. I don't mean "so-bad-it's-good" bad either. It's just plain bad. Even if it wasn't boring as hell, I still wouldn't want to watch it because NOTHING MAKES ANY FUCKING SENSE!

Some of the visuals are good, but it's pretty much just going from boring planet to boring planet to collect a band of ragtag "heroes" to help the people on a moon fight the bad guys who are going to show up and find out that they killed the first group of bad guys that showed up? WTF?

At one point the incredibly talented Bae Doona doing her best Darth Maul impression fights a giant spider. I laughed out loud. And, yes, not only did Snyder rip off Star Wars, but there's no small amount of theft of Lord of the Rings too. This is just fucking low stakes embarrassing. I can't believe that Netflix is going to actually give him more money for a part two of... whatever the hell this is supposed to be. I mean, seriously, haven't people suffered enough at the hands of Zack Snyder? STOP GIVING HIM MONEY!

   
• Monstrosity Streaming! NEWS RELEASE: Warner Bros. Discovery and Paramount Global Have Held Meeting to Discuss Possible Merger — Two guys who destroyed their respective studios now want to come together to make an even bigger failure? Sign me up! Zaslav took a literal slam dunk with all the Warner/Discovery/DC/HBO properties and merged them into a fucking disaster. The brands are now a shadow of their past selves, and I don't even think that James Gunn can salvage the shit-bomb of fail that Zack Snyder dropped on the DC Comics movies. SO many awful decisions. And then there's Paramount/Showtime which is another sad case of bad decisions coming out of not knowing what the fuck to do with the assets they had. I guess this merger would end up giving us some kind of Warner/Discovery/DC/HBO/Paramount/Showtime monstrosity. Where they will once again have to make "the painful decision" to run a wood-chipper on top of all the stuff that's left which people actually care about... all while abandoning all their employees to escape with the millions of dollars they received to fuck everything up. Personally I hope the DO merge and then self-destruct so I have two less streaming services to worry about.

   
Wishing you a Merry Christmas tomorrow, if you celebrate that kind of thing.

   

Happy Christmas and All That Entails

Posted on Monday, December 25th, 2023

Dave!Personally, I don't celebrate Christmas. It's not my holiday. It hasn't been for many years. Since the early 90's, I think. But does it bother me when somebody wishes me a "Merry Christmas?" Of course it fucking doesn't. Why would it? All this faux outrage over not being able to say "Merry Christmas" is categorically absurd. Nobody cares. Celebrate your Christmas all you want. Nobody is trying to take it away from you. And yet here we are. I'm dealing with people "taking back Christmas" by aggressively wishing people a "Merry Christmas"... especially towards people like me who they know darn well don't celebrate it. No idea why. Especially since I am happy to join in on other people's celebrations of Christmas. Just like I'm happy to join in on anybody else's celebrations and traditions if they'll have me.

So... yeah. I am happy to acknowledge Christmas. It was my entire world when I was a kid. But as I grew up and realized that there were loads of other winter holidays that existed in the world outside of mine, I was happy to acknowledge those as well.

And so I say "Happy Holidays"... which is inclusive of whatever holiday YOU celebrate (including Christmas!)... along with MY holiday too. It's an all-encompassing saying that has been used for decades this time of year to be inclusive of everybody.

But just in case you're one of those people who refuses to acknowledge that other holidays exist, and Christmas is THE ONE TRUE HOLIDAY THAT SHOULD BE THE ONLY HOLIDAY TO EXIST FOR ALL OF DECEMBER! then I got you...

DAVETOON: Bad Monkey wishes you a Monkey Christmas

Hope your Christmas is merry, monkey, and bright... if that's your holiday of choice.

   

To Pee or Not To Pee

Posted on Tuesday, December 26th, 2023

Dave!As I mentioned on Saturday, driving over the mountains is always a crapshoot in my neck of the woods. My drive Seattle-side was a piece of cake. A beautiful drive, actually. No complaints.

The drive home, however?

Kinda maybe I guess?

The most direct path that I drove on Saturday was now "Traction Tires Required" with chains required only for trucks. I have very good tires, so that didn't bother me. The idea that people who have zero clue how to drive on snow, slush, and patches of ice would likely bother me very much, however... so I took a less direct route over two mountain passes which were both listed as being "bare and wet". Sure it takes 30 minutes longer to drive that... but it would likely be a lot less aggravating, and possible safer as well.

The first pass was great because there are multiple lanes. Very easy to pass those wanting to go 20 miles under the speed limit for some reason (as seen by my dashcam)...

Over the mountain pass I go on multiple lanes!

More multi-lane fun!

But the second pass has a single lane most of the time. You get an extra lane going up the pass in either direction, but if you're coming down the pass and the person ahead of you is going 20 miles under the speed limit... then you're going 20 miles under the speed limit as well...

Single-lane purgatory!

This wouldn't have aggravated me much... if not for the fact that I had to pee really, really bad the last hour of my trip behind somebody who was behind somebody driving painfully slow for no reason.

Oh well.

I made it home without peeing my pants, although my cats were pretty upset that I waddled past them to the bathroom without giving them pets.

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Persistent Retail Drug Therapy

Posted on Wednesday, December 27th, 2023

Dave!I love the concept of "retail therapy." Things are going wrong. You're feeling bad about it. So you buy yourself something nice to get through it.

After the day I had today, I thought I needed a little retail therapy. But because I wanted to try and be a responsible adult by not spending tons of money on stuff I don't need, I blew $2.99 on some Walker's Shortbread (sale priced from $5.99!) added my grocery delivery order for tomorrow.

It's the least I could do for myself, really.

For weeks I've been having a persistent cough due to even more persistent post-nasal drip that seems to pop up this time of year. It makes my lungs feel tired. And days like today have me contemplating how utterly horrifying my life would be if Albuterol didn't exist. I don't use my inhaler very often... but when I need it, it's a very nice thing to have indeed.

Turns out that being able to breathe is a luxury you don't fully appreciate until you can't do it.

And since breathing is what's going to keep me alive until my shortbread arrives tomorrow, I guess it's a good thing I believed in a little retail drug therapy when it came time to renew my prescription.

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Video23

Posted on Thursday, December 28th, 2023

Dave!Welp, you know what time it is... my annual wrap-up of my favorite films of the year! Or, to be more accurate, my favorite films that I actually saw. Which is still not as many as usual, thanks to my loathing of crowds and residual COVID threats, but here we are.

THE EIGHTEEN BEST...
These are my favorite movies from this year that I actually saw.

Favorite Movies 2023

#1 John Wick: Chapter 4 (Lionsgate)
I don’t know that this is the best “John Wick Flick” but it’s a fantastic addition to the franchise and has me longing for more (despite this being billed as the final chapter). Sure enough this is more of the same as we were blessed with in the first three films... but there’s all new layers added to the mythology of The Table and some really nice action sequences that don't feel stale or a retread of what's come before. Nope. All new. All fresh. All good. All Keanu. The rumor mill is churning with talk of a fifth movie (in addition to the Ballerina spin-off that's coming next year), and I seriously hope that it's true despite events in this fourth installment... because it seems like there's plenty more areas to explore of this universe.

#2 Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Sony)
It seemed impossible that they could top the first movie with it’s inventive, lush, gorgeous visuals... but they did it. This movie was pitch-perfect, incredibly (overwhelmingly?) entertaining, and a wild ride that's worth watching. Even better? Beyond the Spider-Verse is coming next, and if it's anything like this one, it's going to be a treat.

#3 Past Lives (A24)
Drama/Romance movies have to do some serious heavy lifting to make my best films list. This one does that in a way so effortless as to really makes me reconsider my viewpoint on this genre of film. Making it all the sweeter an experience for me is that the movie quite literally came out of nowhere. I was looking through Apple TV, It popped up with some critical acclaim. I took a chance. And then could not get it out of my head ever since. Only the best movies do that. And this is one of those films. Well worth your time, I'm a bit more than shocked that it hasn't built the buzz like Everything Everywhere All at Once did. It's that surprising and good.

#4 Jules (Bleecker Street)
If I were to sum up this movie in one word, that word would be "wonderful." And that's surprising, because the whole "UFO landed in my back yard" trope has really been done to death. It would be tempting to write this one off as "E.T. with old people" and ignore it, but it really deserves more than that because it was just so well put together. Between an exceptional cast (including Ben Kingsley, Harriet Sansom Harris, and Jane Curtain) elevating every scene, a genuinely sweet story, and an alien that's wonderfully realized with practical effects, everybody involved was going for broke and the result doesn't disappoint. My favorite movie in this genre remains Paul, but this one is so delightfully different that it can stand on its own.

#5 Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning, Part One (Paramount)
This franchise should have been run into the ground four movies ago. And yet here we are with is what’s arguably one of the best installment in the series. Think what you will about Tom Cruise, but he gives this film his every effort and lays it all up there on the screen. Smart, thrilling, and having a story that's geared towards action beats which are relentless, this movie would be great on its own... but is even more rewarding if you've seen the previous installments. No idea what Part Two has in store, but odds are it will be even bigger and more entertaining. That seems to be how this franchise works.

#6 Dream Scenario (A24)
My fourth favorite movie of last year was The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent because I just can't get enough Nicholas Cage. The guy has been on a roll after Pig dropped, then this year we get a slew of new films. All of them good. Three of them appearing on this page! Arguably his best Dream Scenario, which is highly enjoyable dark comedy fare that dips into the surreal in interesting ways... all while commenting on our obsession with celebrity and pop culture. They didn't really nail the ending, which is a mess and leaves some things unresolved, but the ride is entertaining enough to make it worth your while.

Favorite Movies 2023

#7 Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (Marvel Studios)
If there was any film that was destined to be a lock for my Number One spot, it was this one. The previous two Guardians films were fantastic entertainment with great characters and interesting stories to tell. The fact that they were literally the most important movies leading into the Infinity Saga was just icing on the cake. And then I saw the film. The horrific amount of torture and death that permeates the movie kinda ruins what would otherwise be a fun capper on the trilogy.

#8 The Killer (Netflix)
David Fincher adds a stylish flair to everything he touches, but somehow manages to not repeat himself in obvious ways. But the star of the show of a hitman done wrong is Michael Fassbender, who is detached in a fascinating way that really has me hoping the character continues in another movie.

#9 Asteroid City (Focus Features)
I'm anxious to see everything Wes Anderson releases because he has an aesthetic and a sense of humor that hit me the right way. This time he's gifted us with my second-favorite film in his career. You'd think that his visual style and quirky dialogue would have diminishing returns, but this flick proves that's not even remotely true. Not only is it a gorgeous visual feast, it's unique and interesting in all the best ways. Plus what might be the greatest role of Jeff Goldblum's career (despite it lasting mere seconds).

#10 Ghosted (AppleTV)
YES, IT'S AN ADVERTISEMENT FOR APPLE PRODUCTS! YES, IT MADE MY LIST! Savaged by the critics, this is a movie that didn't seem to make anybody happy. And yet... I tuned in wanting nothing more than a fun ride, and that's exactly what I got. Chris Evans, who can essentially write his own ticket, has been beautifully taking memorable supporting roles that play against type for him. Knives Out and The Gray Man made you believe he could do whatever he out his mind to following his epic run as Captain America... then he jumped yet again, landing in Ghosted where he played the literal opposite of Cap, who is somehow forced into becoming an action hero despite it all. Plus the incomparable Ana de Armas. And, like I said, it's fun. And hilarious. With great action beats. What's not to love?

#11 The Creator (20th Century)
This was a gorgeous film with very good performances and incredible visuals that could have been so much better if it just had a stronger edit to keep it from being somewhat confusing and entirely too long. As it is, however, it comes across as an emotionally manipulative, drawn out story that left me hoping a director's cut comes along to shape it into the film it could have been. Even so, I enjoyed it quite a lot. Remarkably, the film was made on an $80 million budget, but looks more expensive than what we've been getting out of films with quadruple the budget. Just goes to show that throwing gobs of money at something doesn't mean you're going to see it on the screen (see: the recent slate of Marvel Studios movies).

#12 They Cloned Tyrone (Netflix)
Scathing social satire is something that has to be done well in order to be entertaining. Trying to make it funny adds another level of complexity that has scuttled many an effort. Juel Taylor's film managed to do both very, very well. It's smart sci-fi that's actually trying to say something, and I'm still surprised they managed to pull it off.

Favorite Movies 2023

#13 Nimona (Netflix)
Last I heard, this animated adaptation of the graphic novel was at Disney. Which was a bit of a head-scratcher because it has LGBTQ elements baked right in. But then Disney shuttered Blue Sky Studios where it was being developed, and that was that. Until it wasn't, and Annapurna Pictures picked it up. Clever and fun with beautiful animation, it's everything you could want from a motion picture, and I'm actually a bit relieved that Netflix ended up with it so that more people ended up seeing it than would have if Disney had buried it somewhere.

#14 Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania (Marvel Studios)
Sigh. The first two Ant-Man movies were escapist fun that were imaginative and fun to watch. The entire thrust of the stories were to show how a teeny-tiny character navigates the Real World. And it came with a lot of surprises that made them far different than other movies in the Marvel Studios stable. So what did they do with the third film? Take everybody to the "Quantum Realm" where they’re mired in weirdness that completely destroys what makes them unique and special. This is not a bad movie. It’s just a huge waste of time that could have been far better spent with a better script (what the fuck happened to the quantum powers that Janet had in the previous movie?). No idea if we’re getting another sequel, but if this is the new normal, I’ll take a pass.

#15 Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour (AMC/Cinemark)
Some artists just know how to put on a performance. P!nk is probably my favorite that I've seen in person. Taylor Swift's tour films make it seem like she's in that same echlon of entertainers. Blowing through some of the best-known tracks of her career's various "eras," the movie does a great job of showcasing why her fans (like me!) enjoy the spectacle of her live shows... even if they can't attend in person. Production values on the show and the film are top-notch, and makes me wonder just how she will ever be able to top it.

#16 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (Nickelodeon)
I didn't grow up with the original (and brilliant) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon. But it feels like I did. No... this is one of those cartoons which I watched as an adult just because it was a show I wish I had as a kid. And now we get a movie which both honors the cartoon... yet strikes out on its own in fun new ways. First of all, the animation is just fantastic. Stunning, really. Having a fluidity of motion that makes the action even more compelling. Second of all, it's just funny. Joyously so. I loved every frame, and am excited at the prospect of the characters continuing onward from this direction.

#17 Red, White, & Royal Blue (Netflix)
Gay rom-coms are so often neutered to the point of being sexless pap. In which case you had really better nail the humor. This is one of those rare films that somehow manages to be very funny, but also manages to treat the lead characters as complete humans with challenges and a sex life to boot.

#18 Extraction 2 (Netflix)
The first Extraction film seemingly left no room for a sequel, but here we are. And it's actually better in just about every way. Especially with the action, which is intense and relentless. But most importantly, we got more Golshifteh Farahani, who could really, really use a spin-off with her character "Nik."

HONORABLE MENTION...

  • A Haunting in Venice (20th Century)
    My main problem with the first two of Kenneth Branaugh's Hercule Poirot films was that they were essentially remakes of better films. This time around they decided to do something more original based on a lsser-known Christie novel, and the results are much better. Featuring yet anoher all-star cast, Poirot gets to explore the supernatural to interesting effect. I just wish the mystery would have been a bit better.
  • Renfield (Universal)
    I would have bet serious money that any attempt to keep up with Nicholas Cage playing freakin’ DRACULA would fail miserably. And, indeed, Cage kills the role, as you knew he would. But, surprisingly, Nicholas Hoult playing Renfield manages to hold his own, which makes this movie a bloody fun affair. A part of me truly wants a prequel which goes into detail about Renfield and Dracula’s early years, but the film was pretty much a flop so that's likely not going to happen.
  • Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (Paramount)
    Probably because the D&D IP has been shit on for forever was why I held out zero hope for this one. But then... a miracle. They held onto what makes D&D so compelling while building a great story around it. Then hired a great cast to make it work.
  • Air (Amazon Studios)
    You wouldn't think a movie built around the advent of Air Jordans shoes would have enough meat to build a film around it... but they did it. They definitely did it. And Ben Affleck managed to star and direct his way into something respectful.
  • Wham! (Netflix)
    Otherwise known as the band with George Michael and that other guy, Wham! was an absolute sensation from the 80's that I remember well. Alas, it wasn't meant to last, and the band seemed to disappear in no time at all so that George could pursue his solo career. Based on the biography of "the other guy," Andrew Ridgeley, it's a compelling documentary that adds a new level to what was happening
  • The Retirement Plan (Joker Films)
    The third Nicholas Cage gettiing a mention on this entry is the weakest... and yet had moments of entertainment value that could have ranked this higher if they had only stuck the landing. Which was essentially a non-ending. A woman is in deep, deep trouble thanks to her husband stealing a very important thumb drive. The only place her and her daughter have to go is her dad, who used to be a "problem solver" for the government. Hilarious over-the-top violence and action ensues.
  • Pinball: The Man Who Saved the Game (MPI)
    I have to admit... I didn't know the half of it when it came to the history of pinball... and how it almost didn't survive here in the USA. Fortunately, this documentary lays it all out in an entertaining fashion and has very good performances to drive it home.
  • Creed III (MGM)
    I fully admit to not being much of a fight fan. But I am a very big fan of the Creed franchise, and the third installment is yet another great movie thanks to another stellar performance by Michael B. Jordan... plus Jonathan Majors making me once again lament that his impending (rightful) cancelation will likely halt his career.
  • We Have a Ghost (Netflix)
    In a year where you'd imagine the ghost movie to beat would be Disney's The Haunted Mansion reboot, along comes a far more clever and entertaining entry that was far from great, but a lot of fun to watch.
  • Quiz Lady (Hulu)
    I fully expected that this was going to be a forgettable, disposable movie that wouldn't have much of a lasting impression. But it's actually pretty good despite feeling about average.
  • Genie (Peacock)
    Melissa McCarthy is incredibly hit-or-miss to me, but Genie hits more than it misses and ended up being a fun diversion for the holidays.
  • Love at First Sight (Netflix)
    This is what Hallmark movies would be if they had a budget. And Jameela Jamil as a magical character fostering a romance between an unlikely couple. Charming, sweet, and wonderfully performed by a capable cast, this is a movie that hits all the right notes for rom-com fans. There's also a bit of a twist that adds a bit of sadness to it that makes you rethink what you thought you knew.
  • Round and Round (Hallmark)
    The Hanukkah Hallmark Channel movie this year features 80’s music, geek culture, comic books, and a hefty nod to some time travel movies which came before. It’s like somebody wrote this one just for me! But anyway... a woman has a disastrous 7th night of Hanukkah... that keeps repeating. Just like in Groundhog Day, which they are quick to acknowledge in the story. And just like in that film, she has to figure out why she's stuck in a time loop and how she can get out of it. That alone would be worth watching, but they toss in a twist at the end which has you completely recontextualizing everything you've seen. I had to go back and see if I missed some clues. Turns out I really didn't, which was disappointing. The only way this could have been better would be to have made the twist apparent when you rewatched it. Then there's the fact that the twist is kinda-sorta from one of my all-time favorite time travel movies, which I can't mention because it will give it away.

DIDN'T SEE, MIGHT HAVE MADE MY LIST...

  • The Marvels (Marvel/Disney)
    Everything I've heard from anybody who matters says that this was a fun and entertaiing movie. I didn't make it to the theater to see it, but if I did I am fairly confident it would have ranked higher for me than the other two Marvel films this year.
  • The Boy and the Heron (Studio Ghibli)
    My hands-down favorite animator of all time is Hayao Miyazaki. I've been a massive, massive fan since I first discovered his films on my many trips to Japan. This was long before the Disney partnership that gave the director widespread acclaim in the USA. But anyway... as with every other thing he's ever done, I'm sure this movie is an absolute masterpiece. How could it not be? Miyazaki keeps retiring, then coming back. Now, apparently this will not be his last film (again!) and he's got one more in him. No complaints from me, and I can't wait to see this one.
  • Godzilla Minus One (Toho)
    I am a fan of all the Godzilla movies... from the earliest, cheesiest releases... to the modern misfires... to the animated stuff that really deserves more recognition than it gets. Then along comes this Takashi Yamazaki affair which has been so critically lauded that it very likely would have been high on my list had I managed to actually see it this year. No idea when I'll get to it because you can't even pre-order it on iTunes, but I'll be tuning in on Day One of its digital release, bet on it.
  • Oppenheimer (Syncopy/Universal)
    Christopher Nolan may very well be one of the most brilliantly consistent directors going, and the critical praise that's been lauded on his story about the father of the atomic bomb is sure to be another great film.
  • Wonka (Warner Bros.)
    Hugh Grant as an acerbic Oompa-Loompa? Sign me up. I honestly had zero expectations about this Willy Wonka prequel, especially since it was made as a musical, but critical reception has been very generous, so who knows?
  • すずめの戸締まり (Suzume) (Toho)
    Makoto Shinkai, who seems incapable of making a bad film, hit the big time with his movie 君の名は (Your Name)... and rightfully so. It was brilliantly charming and smart. Then came the follow-up 天気の子 (Weathering with You) which was equally as good. It seems the critical response to すずめの戸締まり is just as good, which means he's blessed us with another genius movie.
  • Poor Things (Searchlight)
    When I heard that they were going to adapt the Alasdair Gray novel Poor Things, my first thought was HOW?!? It seemed like it was just a setup for disaster. But then it got released. People loved it. Critics loved it. And suddenly something I was pouring doubt upon was looking like it might actually be worth watcing.
  • A Million Miles Away (Amazon)
    I rotate through all my streaming services, and Amazon isn't coming for me until January. Mostly so I can watch the second season of Reacher, but also so I can see A Million Miles Away. Michale Peña, who knows his way around a script, plays Mexican-American astronaut José M. Hernández. The guy's story is ripe for a screen adaptation, and I am really excited to see this.

OVERRATED BUT STILL GOOD...

  • Barbie (Warner Bros.)
    I wanted so badly to love this. Mostly because the Barbie Land visuals are beyond amazing. So much thought went into every last detail of their existence and how things work that the movie is worth watching just to see it. And it's impossible to overstate how flawless the casting of Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling were to the film. Plus I think the overall message was good, and the way that the Barbies triumph over Kendom was funny. But, visuals aside, this didn't seem like enough (Kenough?) to carry an entire film. At least not for me. I know this was a critical darling and people loved it, but I was hoping for something... more? else? different? I honestly dunno what could have made this be a home run for me. But this whole "toys come to life in the real world" concept is really getting played out after The LEGO Movie, and I'm really hoping we're done with it.

DISAPPOINTING...

  • Heart of Stone (Netflix)
    Good Lord. They hired a great cast. Had an interesting concept. Staged some terrific action sequences. Went to some fantastic locations. THEN MIRED EVERYTHING IN THE MOST BY-THE-NUMBERS SPY STORY IMAGINABLE. Who in the hell is calling the shots at Netflix? Is it too much to ask to get something that's not an inferior wannabe expensive Mission Impossible clone? And the absurdly silly AI computer's constant recalculation of the mission's chance of success is just fucking stupid and unneeded. Does the AI computer have God-vision to be able to calculate infinite variables of unfolding events like this? Why does every movie have to drop in some kind of AI computerized crutch to up the tension instead of just WRITING SOMETHING WITH ACTUAL TENSION? Having C-3PO, oops... I mean "The Heart"... saying "YOUR MISSION ONLY HAS A 35% CHANCE OF SUCCESS" means NOTHING and does NOTHING... especially if Gal Gadot is going to ignore it. "DON'T TELL ME THE ODDS, 3PO!" Everybody involved in this film deserves better than this stupid shit. Thank you Netflix for spending a ton of money on this crap while increasing our rates. Jesus.
  • Triangle of Sadness (Lionsgate)
    The trailer looked right up my alley and the critics loved it, so I bought it the minute it had a price drop on the iTunes Store. Turns out that $8 was too much to pay. I don’t get it. This movie was flashes of genius sandwiched between long, boring stretches of meaningless nothing. Didn’t hate it... but most certainly didn’t care for it much.
  • Elemental (Disney/Pixar)
    Blergh. Ten minutes in and I was already exhausted. Beautifully animated and a lot of imagination into the concept, but it beats you over the fucking head with artificial sentimentality and a painfully forced take on immigration stories. It's like Pixar is so far out of ideas that they figure they can just hit you in the face with the obviousness and hope that the blunt-force trauma will make you not realize it. Even putting the insane lapses in logic aside (things randomly burn or don't burn depending on whether the story needs them to) this movie is a mess. With the exception of Luca, which was amazing, Pixar has been forgettable since Toy Story 4 in 2019.
  • 65 (Sony)
    How can a survival movie with Adam Driver fighting frickin' dinosaurs be this frickin' boring? Maybe it was my lofty expectations over loving the concept that put me in the wrong frame of mind, but I was beyond puzzled that I couldn't get invested no matter how hard I tried.
  • Leave the World Behind (Netflix)
    If "meh" was a movie, it would be this. And I don't get it, because the talent behind it is off the charts. Seriously, this is a master class of acting right here. But even the best actors couldn't save an apocalypse survivor scenario this meandering and slow. I understand that they were trying to slowly build the tension, but it didn't really come to a head. It just kinda went for an ending that was meant to be provocative, but fizzled for me. I dunno. Maybe if I revisit the film one of these days I'll find that the parts are greater than the whole and appreciate it more, but right now I feel really let down by the whole ordeal.

TOTALLY SHIT THE BED...

  • Rebel Moon Part One: A Child of Fire (Netflix)
    Holy fucking shit. For reasons I can't even contemplate, people Keep. Giving. Zach. Snyder. Money. To. Keep. Making. Shitty. Movies. This one, which apparently began as an idea for a Star Wars film, may very well be his absolute worst. Which sounds impossible, I know. In what I can only describe as a boring pile of shit that steals every last idea from far, far superior films... including Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. The story (if you can even call it that) is about a woman who refuses to grow grain to feed evil Imperium troops, and has to assemble a ragtag team of heroes so that when the bad guys return to her moon home and find all their fellow bad guys dead, they can fight them. And as she makes her way from boring planet to boring planet, the movie just devolves into a bigger and bigger mess. Snyder has said that there's a "director's cut" that's at least an hour longer on the horizon which will make the film actually makes sense. But who the fuck is going to want to watch more of this? I had to fast forward through half of this as it is now. Count me out for Part Two, although I might have to fast forward to the very end to see if it actually has an ending. That way I can put this mess behind me.
  • The Flash (Warner Bros.)
    Christ. Where to start? After the glowing preview comments by "industry insiders" calling this one of the best super-heroes movies ever made, I thought it might actually be worth watching. Nope! It was beyond shitty. Not only does it start Ezra Miller... who should be in jail, shouldn't he?... it has some of the worst special effects I've ever seen. NOT due to the artists who created them, but because they were instructed to make them look that way. Seriously... try not to laugh your fucking ass off when Ezra deep-throats a burrito in free-fall or, and this is a biggie, actually runs anywhere. But that's just the start. Barry Allen meets himself as a younger college-age guy and, if you can believe it, he's even MORE annoying. I ended up fast-forwarding through the Barry & Barry scenes because it was fucking unwatchable. The only bright spots were Michael Keaton's Batman and Sasha Calle's Supergirl. But that's it. The rest is forgettable, annoying, crap that makes me glad the DCU is being rebooted.
  • Blue Beetle (Warner Bros.)
    I was excited that a Jaime Reyes Blue Beetle movie was in development. He's a fun character in the comics, and the fact that we'd finally get a Latino-centric super-hero movie meant it might be different from the same old thing. Until I saw the trailers. They made it very clear that this was a "power of family" movie instead of a Blue Beetle movie. And who gives a shit about that? Turns out the movie is even worse. It is boring as fuck. It takes a half-hour... A HALF-HOUR... before you even see the Blue Beetle, for crying out loud. This is the most boring, uneventful, slog of an origin story which ends up being just a frickin' Iron Man/Spider-Man hybrid clone, and not in a good way. I hope to God that James Gunn gets the DCU turned around so we avoid more of this idiotic crap. Because... HA HA HA! HOW FUNNY! HE CAN'T CONTROL THE SUIT AND HE'S RUNNING INTO EVERYTHING FOR TEN MINUTES! is just... Jesus. I know Greatest American Hero was a while ago, but this has been done to death. From there on it's just talk talk talk talk talk with action beats that are equally boring. And then? "HA HA HA! LET'S SEE GRANDMA WITH A MACHINE GUN AGAIN!" What a frickin' waste.
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Audio23

Posted on Friday, December 29th, 2023

Dave!Much like last year, I didn't stray far from the pop music I love (although I was listening to the new Metallica album more than a few times on those bad days). I just needed "comfort food" to get me through, and there was plenty of that in 2023. But anyway, here you go...

#1 Smash: The Singles 1985-2020 — Pet Shop Boys
I don't generally put compilation albums in my year-end wrap-up, but this one simply could not be denied. Pet Shop Boys is one of my all-time favorite bands, and this is a super-set of their best music. I already own every album they have released, so the first thing I did was create a playlist of the Smash setlist. Though some of the singles were "new versions," that had me exploiting my Apple Music subscription to hear. Interestingly enough, many of my most favorite PSB songs, like The Way it Used to Be and Dreaming of the Queen and The Survivors and The End of the World and Up Against It and others were never released as singles, thus aren't on this compilation. Regardless, it was my favorite album of 2023 by a long shot, and reliving these songs was an amazing experience for Pet Heads.

#2 i/o — Peter Gabriel
As a longtime Peter Gabriel fan, I was intrigued when rumors of a new album started leaking very soon after Up was released in 2002. Apparently Gabriel had so many songs left over from that project that he was planning on a follow-up album in 2004. Then, NEARLY TWENTY YEARS LATER, we finally get a new album. And it was weirdly-handled. Instead of releasing it in January 2023, Gabriel dropped a new single on every full moon... with an alternate mix of the same song the following full moon. It got to the point where I forgot about the releases and any momentum for the album fizzled. UNTIL Jester took me to see the i/o tour on October 9th. Weirdly, the entirety of the album was played in this epic-length live show, making it the first time I had heard the actual album. And then on December 1st, the two albums of two different mixes was released, and it leapt to one of my favorite albums of the year. A lot of that has to do with me thinking back to the concert, but the songs are just darn good on top of that.

#3 In the End it Always Does — The Japanese House
I was completely unaware of Amber Bain until she collaborated with MUNA, and then I was immediately obsessed. Mostly because she could easily be a fourth member of MUNA, a band I love. This album is filled with lovely, haunting, easy-listening tracks that have interesting, simple melodies and a lyrical property that causes them to wash over you like warm gentle waves on a beach. Or wrapping around you like a warm blanket. Gorgeous from start to finish, this was an easy pick for my third favorite album of 2023.

#4 The Show — Niall Horan
Color me shocked. One of the members of One Direction who is not Harry Styles actually released a darn good album (well, with the exception of the song You Could Start a Cult, which... WTF?!?). While it's true that nothing on this album is overly-challenging or groundbreaking, it's still solid songwriting with some great tracks that I ended up playing a lot over the Summer. And just writing about it makes me want to give it another spin. I can't give much better endorsement than that.

#5 Endless Summer Vacation — Miley Cyrus
I must admit that every time Miley releases a new album that gets critical praise I have the smug satisfaction of knowing that I was a fan since Day One. And here she comes with another fantastic collection of songs that takes full advantage of her breathy vocals while actually trying to say something. Not feeling the need to scream to the cheap seats or rip into a track like it owes her money or unleash shock value, Endless Summer Vacation is a mature effort that's really satisfying for longtime fans.

#6 Cracker Island — Gorillaz
Gorillaz is one of those stunt bands that can actually back up their antics with incredible music. And this latest is more of the same... but with a few tricks tossed in for good measure (collaborations with Tame Impala, Bad Bunny, Beck, and STEVIE NICKS??). I listened to the album on repeat too many times, but you can hardly blame me when beautiful tracks like Silent Running (with Adeleye Omotayo) kept getting stuck in my head. Interestingly, the main release was a scant ten tracks, but they released a "Deluxe" version with another five more experimental tracks that are far more disposable (with the exception of the bared down version of Silent Running, which is great).

#7 Something to Give Each Other — Troye Sivan
I've enjoyed random tracks by Sivan, and some of those songs I've absolutely loved (You is on half my playlists)... but listening to a full album from the guy has always been rough for me because he strayed in directions that lost me. Turns out that third time is a charm, because this time the album is flawless from start to finish.

#8 Bauhaus Staircase — Orchestral Manoevres in the Dark
If you were to jettison a lot of the more experimental stuff from their early years, OMD actually has a darn good catalog of songs. Add to that the fact that the band has been going for a long time and... well... they've got a heck of a lot of music I love. But it was the release of History of Modern in 2010 that made me took another look at the band. OMD had been releasing a lot of good music, but this was such a fantastic album that I underwent a kind of OMD renaissance. Bauhaus Staircase a step down from the past three albums, but still a good listen with some excellent hallmark OMD tracks.

#9 Hold — Wild Nothing
If breezy fun synth-pop is your jam, have I got an album for you! Jack Turner has been cranking out some wonderful tracks for the past 13 years as "Wild Nothing" and manages to not deviate from formula while always sounding fresh. He had me from the first time I heard Chinatown off his first album Gemini... and has held me right up to this latest album in 2023. Everything is just solid, well-crafted, and listenable, as usual, and I wish he would get recognized with some song placement on any number of television shows, which would be perfect. These songs can go anywhere in anything.

#10 Council Skies — Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds
During their time in Oasis, Noel and Liam Gallagher had a controversial run that resulted in some amazing music. But it all came to a very public end, and you had to wonder if their success and talent was fueled by their numerous clashes and fights. Turns out that wasn't the case, because they've both gone on to further success. Noel's latest is built around a rich sound that makes everything feel as though it harkens back to a time when music was made in a different way. Like Beatles-era, if that makes any sense. The Deluxe version has instrumental versions of tracks, remixes by the like of Pet Shop Boys and Robert Smith(!), and some nice extras that are worth a listen.

#11 Memento Mori — Depeche Mode
There's nothing more frustrating than being a Depeche Mode fan from the very beginning. If that's you, then it's likely you feel the band's best days are long gone, and everything after Alan Wilder departed following Songs of Faith and Devotion is not even the same band. I don't go quite that far... there were some post-Wilder albums I loved... but the never-ending theme of "redemption" on every fucking song became so very, very tired, and I positively hated the past two albums (Delta Machine and Spirit). Then fandom was sent into shock when Fletch died, and it felt extremely likely the band was done. Except they weren't, and Mememto Mori is the result. Half of the album is a holdover from the past two that I don't even want to listen to... but then there's some glimmers of the old band in a few tracks to make me happy that they released the album. Before We Drown is one of my favorite DM songs in a decade. And the tracks People Are Good and Ghosts Again just... work.

#12 DANSE MACABRE — Duran Duran
This is a strange throwback not to early Duran Duran (which I would have loved), but instead to a post-punk sensibility that puts being weird above being popular. Half the songs I like for real... half I kinda-like because they are just such a different turn for the band. But ultimately this is a bit of a low in the up-and-down cycle of Duran Duran, and I wish to God they would just give us a throwback album that recaptures those heady days of Girls on Film. But, then again, I could say that about so many bands from the 80's that have hung around.

   
MOST UNLIKELY FAVORITE NON-ALBUM FROM 2023...

Jake Hill's Country Music alter-ego, Dixon Dallas, could be a big joke... or it could be a serious attempt to carve out a musical niche in a very crowded field. Likely it's a bit of both. Whatever the case, the sexually-charged gay lyrics are layered on top of some seriously good tracks, and I listened to the pile of singles that got released in 2023 far more than I would have if they had merely been some kind of attempt at bad shock value at the expense of gay lives.


   
NOTABLE OMISSION FROM 2022...

I love love love this Lauv song, All 4 Nothing (I'm So in Love), which came out in August of 2022 and I didn't even know about it until early this year...

   
OTHER MUSIC I WAS INTO FROM 2023...

  • The Loveliest Time — Carly Rae Jepsen
    Last year Carly Rae released a perfectly lovely album called The Loneliest Time. Turns out the songwriting for that project resulted in an entirely additional album of material that she decided to release as a "companion album." This would be a bad thing if it was just a cash-grab, but the album actually has merit. Far from just a bunch of leftovers, there's a cohesive thread running through the tracks that could have easily made this a full release in its own right.
  • Last Man Dancing — Jake Shears
    I, infamously, became a fan of Scissor Sisters when Jester sent me some tracks to listen to... AFTER THE BAND HAD ALREADY BROKEN UP! Then in 2018 front-man Jake Shears came out with his self-titled debut solo album, and I was not impressed. It's like he tried to get away from Scissor Sisters while trying not to loose any fans, and it just didn't work. This time he learned from his mistake and went back to his dance music roots in a good way. ALas, there's a weird dichotemy going on here, whereas the first half of the album is a delicious nod to disco that's quite good... but the second half is just... not. It's not that it's bad, it's just a weird U-turn that was hard for me to process after getting completely hooked at the start. Still, this is a good album with some great songs, it's just that I listen to the first half more often than the last half.
  • Rockstar — Dolly Parton
    Despite not being a huge Country Music fan, I'm a huge fan of Dolly Parton. The woman can write really good songs as easily as most people breathe. It's just what she does. Then last year she was inducted into the Rock-and-Roll Hall of Fame. Being the humble angel she is, she said she felt bad about it because she didn't feel she had done much for rock music, and thought she was taking away from more worthy inductees. But then she said that since she had been given the honor, she'd come out with a rock album. And here it is. An oh boy did she go for gold. She's got duets with Sting, Steve Perry, Ann Wilson, Steven Tyler, Stevie Nicks, Peter Frampton, Joan Jett, Miley Cyrus, P!nk, Elton John, Simon Le Bon, and so much more! Which just goes to show that everybody loves Dolly Parton and nobody could say no to teaming up with her. Alas, the album is a bit of a mixed bag. I'd rather she have given us another album of the music she does best... but it's a fun listen for sure.
  • TRUSTFALL — P!nk
    I am a massively huge fan of P!nk. Let me qualify that... I am a massively huge fan of P!nk's pop music tracks. I'm not a fan of her slow ballads at all. Fortunately this album is a good balance and there's plenty for me to love, it just wasn't enough for me to love it enough to listen to it as much as previous albums.
  • Fantasy — M83
    Dreamy synth-pop with a slight edge that seeps into your subconscious in a good way. Some tracks hit better than others, but the album is definitely worth listening to.
  • That! Feels Good! — Jessie Ware
    After the disco explosion that was What's Your Pleasure? in 2020, Jessie took a half-step back into something more soulful that sounds as if it may be the best album she's ever released. And yet... a number of tracks on the album make sure that her newer fans aren't left behind. This is the kind of music I'll put on while making dinner, then not be able to switch off because it's stroking too many pleasure centers in my brain.
  • Tension — Kylie Minogue
    No dance-pop fan can deny the power of Kylie Minogue. Well, except me, who was very, very late to the party. With the exception of a few singles, I barely knew she existed until I was mistakenly sent a copy of Showgirl: The Greatest Hits Tour... FROM MY NETFLIX DVD SUBSCRIPTION IN 2006! and ended up watching it. And really enjoying it. Kylie knows how to put on a show! But anyway... I've been an off-and-on fan ever since. This album is more of the same, and I honestly probably couldn't pick the songs out of a Kylie lineup (except for Padam Padam, the lead single which I do not like)... but considering "the same" is actually pretty good stuff, I liked the album.
  • Time's Arrow — Ladytron
    If you're into their hallmark sound, this album will likely appeal to you. But there's also a few tracks that elevate it out of their usual fare.
  • chemistry — Kelly Clarkson
    I'm not a huge fan of the power ballads that Clarkson does so incredibly well, but this album had some offerings that I enjoyed quite a lot (high road is mesmerizing and magic is gorgeous).
  • Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse — Metro Boomin
    The last movie gave us the absolute joy of the track Sunflower by Post Malone and Swae Lee, this time we get an album filled with a Who's Who of hiphop genius that feels incredibly cohesive and fit the movie perfectly.
  • GUTS — Olivia Rodrigo
    This album is a tough one for me because it has some truly great tracks that are wonderfully constructed and imbued with feeling... then there's a few which have such klutzy lyrical turns as "You sunk your teeth into me" on a track called vampire that grind the album to a halt for me. Overlooking these missteps is easy, however, because the album as a whole is pretty great.
  • This Life — Take That
    If you like Take That, then you'll probably like this album. It works as a continuation of what they've been doing for decades but doesn't really stand out from the other eight albums they've released. I did really like the title track though.
  • AUSTIN — Post Malone
    When Posty unleashes a song I love, I'm all in. Tracks like Sunflower and Circles and Better Now and Wrapped Around Your Finger made me a huge fan. But most of his catalog are not songs that hit me like those do, so I have a hard time listening to his albums straight through. AUSTIN was a little different, and I liked it quite a lot.
  • 72 Seasons — Metallica
    Look, it's Metallica. If you like the band, you'll like this album. They have lost absolutely nothing over the years, and this album sounds exactly like you'd want a modern Metallica album to be. But here's the problem... if this were Metallica's debut album, it would be absolutely lost in the metal scene. A lot of what goes into appreciating their later efforts is nostalgia. I'm not saying that it's time for them to hang up their guitars or anything... I liked this one a lot... I'm just saying that I'd rather listen to their old albums and recapture the feelings I had when they were fresh than listen to their later stuff.
  • It's the End of the World, But It's a Beautiful Day — Thirty Seconds to Mars
    This album followed Jared Leto's hilarious interview that got plastered all over the internet where he claimed that they had written 200 songs for it. As somebody who hasn't really taken much notice of the band, the idea of it was funny to me. Then on a chilly day in late September, I noticed the album had already been released. And it... was... good?!? No, not every song is great, but a few (in particularly Seasons, a song I love) made the album notable to me.
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Tube23

Posted on Saturday, December 30th, 2023

Dave!And it's time once again for my annual wrap-up of my favorite TV shows that came out this year.

Or, more accurately, a "wrap-up of TV shows that I saw which came out this year." As always, there's a bunch of shows I never got around to watching that might have ended up on my list... and (more likely) shows I loved but have forgotten about. And here we go...

Best Television 2023 Posters

#1 Ted Lasso (AppleTV+)
Obviously. Look, I’m not going to pretend that the final two seasons were flawless (as the first one was). There were distractions that didn’t pay off. There were storylines that wasted precious time which could have been better spent (the whole Keeley/Jack romance was pointless). And there was a kind of meandering sloppiness which didn’t really coalesce. And yet... still the best thing on television. Jamie Tartt’s character arc over three seasons was masterful. Rebecca’s ending was perfect. And Roy Kent? Well, he never stopped being one of the best characters television has ever seen. And while Ted Lasso himself got a happy ending that feels final, there is no reason... none... that the show can’t go on. There’s a rich tapestry of characters who have yet to me explored. There’s more to the main characters than what we saw. And I hope after taking a break for a year, everybody is on board to keep going. Heaven only knows people would watch it. Heaven only knows Apple would pay for it. It remains my favorite television show to have ever aired.

#2 Jury Duty (Amazon Freevee)
When I heard there was a show which revolved around jury duty where absolutely everybody was an actor except one guy who would be completely in the dark, I wasn’t going to watch it. I don’t think it’s very funny to humiliate somebody for television entertainment. But then I kept hearing about it as the show went viral, and decided to check it out. If anything, what I thought would happen is the exact opposite of what actually happened. The guy wasn’t there to make fun of, he was there to be the hero. And Ronald Gladden ended up being the best possible hero they could have found. I love this show. I love Ronald. I love the wacky characters. I’ve rewatched it loads of times. If Ted Lasso didn't exist, this would be a shoe-in for best show of 2023 because it was so wonderfully realized and different.

#3 Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (Paramount+)
As I keep a running scorecard of TV shows I like so I can assemble this list every year, Strange New Worlds was firmly in the #4 spot when it debuted in June. Then the episodes just kept knocking it out of the park in surprising ways. Once we got to the impossibly good Star Trek: Lower Decks crossover at Episode 07, it was clear that I needed to reevaluate. Do not ask me how they managed to even dream up a crossover with an animated comedy show and make it work, but they did it. This was just the feather in their cap of an already amazing season.

#4 Mrs. Davis (Peacock)
I am just... I have no idea where to even begin. This show is the most unique (and bonkers) thing I’ve seen since the first season of Twin Peaks decades ago. Filled with masterful performances and some of the most out-there writing you’ll find, it’s one weird surprise after another. But it’s not just weird for weird’s sake. It’s actually incredibly smart. Every minute means something even if you don’t know it at the time. So much so that I had to rewatch everything the minute I finished the last episode. Because that reveal as to who or what Mrs. Davis actually is? So good. I am beyond grateful that somebody took a chance on something so crazy, because it paid off huge. I honestly don't know if they could continue the show... or if they should even attempt it... but I would absolutely tune in.

#5 Poker Face (Peacock)
I would watch Natasha Lyonne in literally anything. She can make even the most mundane moments fascinating, and every time she’s involved in a project I know I’ll like it just because she’s there. And boy is she ever. Lyonne is genius as a woman on the run who acts like a human lie detector. As she seeks to escape from some very dangerous people, she keeps happening upon murder mysteries that she’s compelled to solve, even though doing so puts her at risk of getting caught. The show is set up like Columbo, where you see whodunit right from the start, then have to watch Lyonne put the pieces together (in an eerie Peter Falk way). Such a great show. Guess Rian Johnson isn’t a fluke with these Knives Out movies. Really, really cannot wait for a second season.

#6 Bodies (Netflix)
Based on a graphic novel that always felt ripe for an adaptation, Bodies would also require some serious changes to make for compelling television. The changes they made are actually very smart and make the show more accessible and less weird. But still, when the same body shows up in different time periods connecting detectives across time, you know the show is headed in some interesting directions. If you watched the Netflix show and enjoyed it, I encourage you to pick up the original graphic novel, which has been reprinted. I was saddened to learn that the creator/writer of the series, Si Spencer, died in 2021. The first episode was dedicated to his memory.

Best Television 2023 Posters

#7 Barry (Max)
It's impossible for me to overstate what a surprise Barry ended up being. It started great, then just kept getting better and better. Everybody had expectations as to where the fourth and final season was going to land. Most viewers probably figured, well, Barry is finally going to be made to pay for everything he's done. What actually happened was unexpected... but shouldn't have been too unexpected, as it did make perfect sense. No, I don't think this was at the level of the first three seasons, but it was a satisfying ending, assuming what happened was something you could live with.

#8 Reservation Dogs (Hulu)
There's something to be said about a show which doesn't overstay its welcome. They want to go out on the top of their game and not become a parody of what people loved. Even so... it seems as though ResDogs could have gone on for longer than the three seasons we got. On the bright side, because they had an ending in mind, it got the best possible ending that it could get.

#9 Ahsoka (Disney+)
I'm just going to come out and say it... there were some incredibly stupid moments in this show (the lightsaber ship battle may very well be the worst thing to happen to Star Wars since Jar Jar Binks). But, then again, it was also full of some of the coolest moments in Star Wars history, so I'm going to call it a wash. Because, in the end, this was a very interesting and entertaining series. It was also surprising, because they accomplished something I never thought possible... they redeemed Anakin Skywalker and the actor who portrayed him, Hayden Christensen. Turns out that Christensen didn't destroy the character with terrible acting and delivery... he was just given impossibly shitty dialogue and situations to act in. But anyway, there was a lot of criticism lobbed at Rosario Dawson for her cold delivery of the character that felt off from the animated version, and I don't get it. She grew up. She went through some shit. She's changed. She's not the same person she once was. This show is a shining example of taking characters from the extended universe of characters and bringing them into the Star Wars Universe in interesting and thoughtful ways. It also had some action that felt fresh, which is saying a lot when it comes to a Star Wars series.

#10 Slow Horses (AppleTV+)
So there I was, opening the AppleTV app, and they are advertising the third season of a show I never heard of before. Slow Horses. I was ready to ignore it, but then saw it starred... Gary Oldman and Kristin Scott Thomas?!? Color me intrigued! And then I started watching. And then I couldn't stop. And then I was amazed that a show this good somehow escaped my attention for nearly three years. Generally it's about a group of screw-ups inhabiting the bottom rung of the British espionage ladder. But more specifically it's about how a bunc of screw-ups still have value because, despite their faults and mistakes, they remain talented in their specific areas. And the third season is arguably the best of them all, defining what makes "compelling television" so compelling.

#11 Our Flag Means Death (Max)
=sigh= In a recent interview, Taika Waititi makes it sound like he wouldn't return for a third series of everybody's pirate adventure if Max renews it. And I get it. The guy has tons of stuff going on, is highly in demand as a showrunner and director, and his little acting side-gigs must feel like a distraction to him. But holy crap is he good at those little acting side-gigs. The way he inhabited Blackbeard in Our Flag Means Death... and his romance with Stede Bonnet... is really too good to be true. Funny, but incredibly sincere. And that pretty much sums up where Season 02 left us. Sure, there was a terribly sad moment that cast a shadow over the season, but it also left us with a hope that made it all worthwhile. Good stuff. I really hope that Max renews it. I really hope that Taika returns.

#12 Heartstopper (Netflix)
One of the most mature shows about relationships is once again in the hands of two gay teens (well, one gay teen and a bisexual teen). And, in addition to being sincere and smart when it comes to how relationships actually work, it's also as heartwarming and sweet as it was the first time around. Serious topics are covered, but it's never heavy-handed or dark, making it seriously fun and watchable. And while some could criticize the show for not putting any serious obstacles or challenges in front of the characters, I think that's what makes it so special. Yeah, it's saccharine sweet, but that's okay from time to time. Not everything has to be depressing.

Best Television 2023 Posters

#13 The Night Agent (Netflix)
An entry-level FBI agent sits in the basement of The White House next to a phone that never rings. Until one night when it does. Then you're in for a ride as events spiral out of control and the hunt for a traitor is on. The fact that there are some things that didn't make much sense to me didn't diminish how much I liked this political mystery thriller. Probably because I'm such a fan of the genre. Sure the twists aren't all that twisty and the show heads in predictable directions, but the fantastic cast keeps things intense and worth watching.

#14 Abbott Elementary (Hulu)
This is one of those shows that was flawless out of the gate. It had nowhere to go but down. And then the second season debuted, and they somehow... made it even better? But how? If I had to guess, it's because all the actors were fully entrenched in their characters, allowing them to became even more real to us. Then there's the writing, which seemed even sharper and well-honed. Which is to say that the writers were more fully entrenched in the characters as well. Regardless, it's refreshing to find a show that understands exactly what it is and exploits that for maximum entertainment value. The third season debuts in a month. I'll be there.

#15 Letterkenny (Hulu)
They announced the 12th season was the final season just before it premiered. It was a bit of a gut-punch, because this is one of those shows you just count on to always be there. The final season is more of the same from the past eleven seasons: esoteric Canadian laughs being fired off at a mile a minute. But it's also not the same because everybody in Letterkenny contemplates moving on. Then we're treated to the closing scenes, which really hit you hard in the feels that the show is really gone. And along the way we get some hilarious moments that became immediate classics for the series (I still have Sun Darts stuck in my head!). A fitting end for a show that definitely deserved one. And now... it looks like Shoresy is going to be the full focus of Jared Keeso's attentions and talents, which is fine by me.

#16 Obliterated (Netflix)
This show isn't going to be for everybody. You reeeeeally need to lean into the concept, which is the adventures of an elite team of operatives trying to save Las Vegas from being obliterated. And, oh yeah, there's loads of R-rated sex and violence along for the ride to keep things interesting. Ultimately it's incredibly entertaining in the worst way possible, and I loved the show. No idea if Netflix feels like there's another season to be had, but I hope they do.

#17 What We Do in the Shadows
While I thought that Gizmo's vampire storyline threw the series off balance and they could have spent the time on something better, there were plenty of laughs to be had and loads of the usual goofiness that makes the show so much fun to watch. Which makes the fact that the series has been canceled after the next season just that much more unbelievable. It's like... why? There's still so many places the show could explore. Consistently funny, I miss it already.

#18 Murder at the End of the World (Hulu)
I had the mystery solved in the first episode. Which is to say that I knew the "who"... not the "how." Regardless, I sure liked Darby Hart as a detective, and really hope we can see more of her. But not if it means dragging the same people back. Let her find something new to do and new people to interact with. But back to this series, it was pretty good. Sure there was meandering that would have kept things moving better if they had tightened the scripts a bit, but at least they were trying to do something different.

TOO EARLY TO TELL...

  • Reacher (Amazon Prime Video)
    From the looks of things, this is going to be yet another great season of Reacher. Problem is that it's easy to see where the show could go terribly wrong if they flub the ending. When you've got a team scenario there's several clichéd and boring tropes that they could use to resolve everything. If they steer clear, then it could be good for us. But if not? Yikes.

MUST SEE TELEVISION SPECIALS AND DOCUMENTARIES...

  • Mr. Monk's Last Case (Peacock)
    I seriously wrote off the idea of more Monk because so much time had passed. But then a miracle happened. Wisely, they integrated the pandemic into the show, which seemed like a natural. Most of the cast is back (with the exception of Sharona, who is at home with her and Randy's new baby). Despite the fact that everybody went their separate ways at the end of the series, they're back in San Francisco for Monk's stepdaughter's wedding. Unfortunately, the groom died before that could happen, which becomes a case for Mr. Monk when she is convinced that her husband-to-be was murdered. Seriously hoping that they convince Tony Shaloub to do more movies, because the character is just too good to disappear.
TELEVISION HONORABLE MENTION...
  • Magnum P.I. (Peacock)
    By all rights, this show was dead. It had been canceled at CBS. It was over. And it was a pretty good place to end, seeing as how the "will-they-or-won't-they" relationship between Magnum and Higgins had been answered. There was nowhere to go but down. And then Peacock bought the show, brought it back, and here we are. Spoiler Alert: Yeah, the fifth season was not as good as the others, which wasn't surprising because that's been a trend since it began. What is surprising is that it was still watchable television that I was happy to tune in for week after week. Until it won't be. The show was canceled for good during the strikes, and the final two episodes are airing in January.
  • The Last of Us (Max)
    If you've played the video game, you might be forgiven into thinking that you saw the series. But there are some smart changes made that I liked (I've only played the original game)... along with a great diversion which fills in a character's backstory in a fascinating, lovely way which ended up being the highpoint of the entire season for me.
  • The Bear
    This is a show that has the most realistic depiction of how commercial kitchens work than anything I've ever seen. It's just so... real. Unfortunately, it's got a lot of dead weight holding it back, including the idea that PEOPLE SCREAMING ALL THE TIME IS ENTERTAINING. And even if that wasn't the case, there's the fact that damaged people can't be the entirety of a show's identity and be fun to watch. It gets so very tired. Fortunately, they do manage to work in some genuinely good storylines into the mix, and this season was better than the previous season in that respect.
  • Beef (Netflix)
    The only thing that kept this series from being flawless was that it had David Choe in it after his admission of sexual assault. Which he made for a comedy bit. Otherwise? Everything about it was choice. From Ali Wong and Steven Yeun's amazing chemistry to a story that was fascinating to watch unfold. The ending was one of those things which resolved everything perfectly while giving you hope not only for the future of the characters, but for people in general.
  • Bupkis
    As a Pete Davidson fan, I was anticipating this series. But I didn’t know much about it. Then it dropped on Peacock and nothing could have prepared me for what I witnessed. Somehow Joe Pesci was lured out of retirement, and he’s incredible. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Guest stars keep dropping in and they’re not who you’d expect. And while the episodes start out as crude (albeit clever) humor... but by the time you get to the fourth one (titled Crispytown) it’s gone to such extreme levels that I was dying. Everything about this show, which claims to be a stylized, fictional version of Pete’s crazy life, is quality. And the humor is on-point.
  • Only Murders in The Building (Hulu)
    No new season is ever going to live up to the brilliance of the first season. And yet... I am ever so happy that they keep trying. I actually ended up liking this season more than the second, which was a pleasant surprise. Steve Martin has said that this show is the end. He's retiring after it's over. But he keeps coming back, so it must be a fun time. And it's been renewed for season four.
  • Will Trent
    I had no idea that this series existed until I accidentally stumbled across it. I’ve only read one of the Karin Slaughter novels on which it’s based, for which I’m actually grateful because the television series is so good that I didn’t want to be clinging to the source material.
  • Cunk on Earth (Netflix)
    Watching somebody so utterly stupid and clueless make observations on history... all the while knowing full well that there are people walking around (and voting!) who aren't even this educated and smart is both hysterically funny... and incredibly depressing. Regardless, I was in stitches most of the time and was thrilled to be so surprised and captivated by a throwaway show like this.
  • One Piece (Netflix)
    Just about every live-action adaptation of a manga is a complete disaster. By some absolute miracle, One Piece isn't. Part of it is that they worked hard to be faithful while being mindful about what would work in live action. The other part was absolutely nailing the casting. Every character is brilliantly unmistakably accurate to their original manga characters. It's wonderful.
  • The Diplomat
    I really, really hate the trend of leaving a season finale on a cliffhanger. Especially when you have no idea if you're being picked up for another season. Had this show been smarter about constructing an ending to the story that ran through it, this would have likely been in my top shows of the year. As it is, the sloppy non-ending left a sour note... regardless of whether or not we see more.
  • The Other Two (Max)
    The first season was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. It was just so outlandish and crazy that you were compelled to watch. You couldn't look away. But then... with the second season it felt like most of there good ideas went into that first season. The third (and final) season rebounded a little, but not enough. Even so, it was still hilarious and I'm glad we got as much of the show as we did.
  • Lupin (Netflix)
    Omar Sy is just phenomenally talented, and his turn as the gentleman thief Lupin took full advantage of the fact. Unfortunately, the family entanglements seriously diminish the later episodes, and it made me seriously wish that he didn't have a family at all, because the times without them are where the show really shines.
  • Silo (AppleTV+)
    I loved the concept. Liked the show. Mostly because I worry that they are going to never get around to the mystery of how, when, and why... and the show will get canceled before any of it is ever answered. Which would just be so very typical. And then we end up in a Lost situation (yes, I know the series is adapting a book series, but it's ultimately the same considering that shows often diverge from the source material in significant ways).
  • Julia (Max)
    The first season was beyond good. It was like they took all the best parts of the movie Julie & Julia (i.e. the parts with Meryl Streep's genius turn as Julia Child and Stanley Tucci's wonderful take on Paul Child) and then just made a television show of it. And yet... by having more than two hours available to them, the showrunners managed to make it even more engrossing. Julia is a fascinating character and they found the perfect Streep alternative to play her in Sarah Lancashire (and shoutout to David Hyde Pierce for avoiding the awful Frasier reboot to play Paul). The second season is a bit more dodgy when it comes to what it's adapting from a real live person... it feels like the whole "will-she-or-won't-she-jump-from-PBS" along with the lives of ancillary characters ate up way too much time. But despite it all, it was still must-see television.
  • The Righteous Gemstones (Max)
    Despite having a very good seasonal arc when it came to Eli's sister coming back into the family's lives and the consequences that come out of it, the idea of having Eli retire and leave the Gemstone empire in the hands of his squabbling children was a bad one. It was when the show got mired in that storyline that everything ground to a screeching halt. It's been reported that the series has been renewed for a fourth season. I sincerely hope they find a better way to spend that time.
  • Black Mirror (Netflix)
    This is a show of diminishing returns. It started out so unbelievably good that it really had nowhere else to go. But then it kept being so consistently good that it became a waiting game as to when it would finally fall. And we're not quite there yet. Of the five episodes we got in Season 06, two of them were great, two of them were good, and two of them were just kind of... there. I still like the show. I still think there are stories to tell. But I can't help but feel like we're approaching the end.
  • The Mandalorian
    There was some heavy criticism of the third season. And while I understand the points being made, I couldn’t disagree more. With the sole exception of the ridiculous Jack Black & Lizzo stunt casting episode (which I hated... not because of Jack Black and Lizzo, but because it was a shitty episode). I loved that it was all cool Star Wars space ships and locations with great action fueled by interesting concepts. Jon Favreau knows what fans want to see, and he delivers it. How could I hate that?
  • The Lincoln Lawyer (Netflix)
    Though the mystery that ran through the season was a bit anti-climactic, I love the characters so much that it didn't really matter. The show is impeccably cast. Every role is a starring role regardless of how much screen time they get. You can't help but love a show with that kind of talent sucking you into the world they are building.
  • The Crown (Netflix)
    I absolutely hated the first half of the final season. It was all gross speculation about Princess Diana's final days that felt... dirty? I mean, yeah, all of this show is speculation, but you really can't confirm what was going on because both people who had any insight are gone. But then the second half arrived and it was far, far better. More speculation, of course, but it didn't feel as grotesque. But what really sealed the deal was the end, where they wrapped up the show in a way I didn't see coming... but was truly great.

ANIMATION TO WATCH...

  • Rick & Morty (Hulu)
    In what seems like an impossible turn of events, this season wrapped up a storyline that's been brewing forever. And it did it in a perfectly satisfying way. Which could be said for the entire seventh season (with the sole exception of the Rise of the Numbericons: The Movie episode that was idiotic and basic in the worst possible ways). But the question on everybody's mind was whether losing Justin Roiland as the voices of both titular characters would sink the show. Fortunately the answer was "nope!"
  • Fionna and Cake (Max)
    As a huge Adventure Time fan, I am happy to take in any spin-offs that they care to provide. And in this case it's ten epiodes of the gender-swapped version of Finn and Jake which appeared in the oriinal series. Surprisingly, they weren't content to just leave the show at that. Instead they struck off in a different direction entirely, but it still feels very "Adventure Time" in execution. Then, the best news of all, Max renewed the series for a second season.
  • Invincible (Amazon Prime Video)
    Since I've read the entirety of the comic book series, the adaptation doesn't hold any surprises for me. But I was very happy to revisit the story in a fresh new way.
  • Star Trek: Lower Decks (Paramount+)
    Whip-smart and funny as always, the show is never satisfied with standing still. Characters continue to grow and mature in small bu meaningful steps.
  • Blue Eye Samurai (Netflix)
    Some of the most gorgeous animation you'll see with a story that's exhillerating and wonderfully creative.
  • Archer (FXX)
    The 14th season is the last season of the series. Then we found out that the eight episodes we got were not really the end. We had a three-episode finale to the finale, subtitled Into the Cold. It was a fitting end to a show that was saddled with occasional lapses in quality after a stellar debut season, but never lost its humor. In many ways it was probably time to say good bye, but I do hope that we get a revival one of these days.

HAVEN'T SEEN, MIGHT HAVE MADE MY LIST...

  • Lawmen: Bass Reeves (Paramount+)
  • The Afterparty (AppleTV+)
  • Dark Winds (AMC+)
  • The Last Kingdom (Netflix)
  • Lessons in Chemistry (AppleTV+)
  • Monarch, Legacy of Monsters (AppleTV+)
  • Hijack (AppleTV+)
  • What If...? (Disney+)
  • Justified: City Primeval (Hulu)
  • The Curse (Showtime)

OVERRATED BUT STILL GOOD...

  • Good Omens (Amazon Prime Video)
    After a stellar and fully-realized first season, the second was just kind of meandering and unsatisfying (even if Michael Sheen and David Tennant were glorious as usual). I mean, yeah, it was building towards something and everything in the story meant something, it just wasn't as clever and brilliant as what came before it. With one final season yet to come, I'm hopeful that everything pulls together to give us a brilliant endgame.
  • Loki (Disney+)
    This garnered a lt of critical praise, but to me it was just a big ol' mess. It's like they had an end-goal in mind, then just filled the show up with random happenings which happened to generally move them in that direction. Which would have been fine if not for the fact that I don't really get how the end of the season (and likely the end of the series) really means much to the Marvel Cinematic Universe as a whole. Perhaps
  • Picard (Paramount+)
    This show is phenomenally frustrating because it comes so very close to being good. The first season came closer than most, but kinda blew it at the end. The second season, despite having a very ambitious plot with some fantastic scenes, was a major letdown. And then came this final season which was nothing more than a "let's-round-up-the-gang-for-one-last-adventure" show. As somebody who was never much a fan of The Next Generation to begin with, this was the last thing I wanted. Especially since it was so unsatisfying. Fortunately we had Strange New Worlds and Lower Decks to give us some good Trek, because this wasn't worth the time.

DISAPPOINTING...

  • Foundation (AppleTV+)
    The first season was an abomination that in no way resembled the books upon which it claimed to be based. It was also boring as hell and bad television. Thinking that they had nowhere to go but up, I tried the second. It's still an unholy abomination, but at least it tried to be good television. Alas, it wasn't good enough to hold my attention.
  • FUBAR (Netflix)
    The fact that they ponied up the dough to get Arnold frickin' Schwarzenegger in a TV show boggles the mind. And I was hyped for it. And then it just ended up being so very meh. The idea was sound... Arnold finds out his daughter is in the CIA just like he is (in a Mr. and Mrs. Smith kind of way). But the result is neither exciting, funny, or worth my time.
  • Shrinking (AppleTV+)
    The fact that they ponied up the dough to get Harrison Ford in a TV show boggles the mind. And I was hyped for it. And then it just ended up being so very meh. The idea was sound... Jason Segel is a therapist who gets way too involved in his patient's lives after his wife dies... and Harrison Ford is actually very good in it. But the result just didn't appeal to me for some reason.

TOTALLY SHIT THE BED...

  • Secret Invasion (Disney+)
    I had every expectation that a Marvel series based on the great Secret Invasion story from the comics starring Samuel L. Jackson would be a guaranteed winner. The fact that it absolutely was not only shows that my high expectations caused a harsher reaction from me than what it would have normally gotten. But, yeah, it totally shit the bed. First by wasting Samuel L. Jackson in such an embarrassing way. Second by having such a phenomenally shitty premise as having Nick Fury not call on the full might of the Avengers to handle what was obviously a much bigger challenge with much more dire consequences than he should have ever taken on alone. It was just so absurd. Then they went and killed off fan-favorite character Talos while introducing the Super Skrull in such a ridiculous way. I just don't get it. Is Kevin Feige completely asleep at the wheel or what? How in the heck did this ever get green-lit? They literally could have built out this story to be a couple of incredible movies, but just pissed it away for nothing.
  • Succession (Max)
    For the life of me, I do not get the accolades for this shitty, shitty show. The writing is awful. The stories are muddled and predictable. And the acting? Mostly horrific. Kendall, Greg, Tom, and Shiv don’t seem at all natural characters. They feel like the improvising every minute because they can’t fucking look, speak, and act like normal humans. Some characters fare better (surprisingly, Kieran Culkin really knows how to occupy a scene). Not surprisingly, Brian Cox and Alexander Skarsgård know how to act with conviction that makes their characters work within the scope of the show. I watched one episode of the final season: the one where Logan dies. I was going to watch the finale but just couldn’t stomach the idea and watched the “Making Of” that told me I made the right decision to avoid at all costs. It was just more of the same. It’s the same shitty absurdity as when Tom was telling Greg about getting snowballed and how hot it was. Good Lord. At least when it came up in Clerks it was funny and not heinously awkward and cringe. The trades call Succession “brilliant” and there are diehard fans of the series, but it’ll always be overrated garbage to me. The only thing I regret about it ending is that Jeremy Strong and Sarah Snook will get cast and go on to ruin far better shows.
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Dave23

Posted on Sunday, December 31st, 2023

Dave!Well, here it is. The entry where I recap all the things that happened in the year. Except... such a post only really made sense when I was actually doing lots of stuff (meaning prior to 2020). Not that nothing at all happened in 2023. Plenty of stuff happened. It's just that going through it all month-by-month doesn't really work when the notable stuff just isn't a massive list.

And so...

This was the 20th year of Blogography. Which means I've been blogging for 20 years. That's probably ten years longer than was relevant, but I'm nothing if not persistant.

This was also the 3rd year of Ted Lasso, my favorite television show of all time. They say it's the last year, but holy crap I hope not.

The greatest thing to happen all year? Grocery delivery is finally available in my area! As God is my witness, I will never step foot in the bedlam that is a grocery store again. Except when the delivery says that something I need is "OUT OF STOCK." Which, alas, is more often than I ever thought it would be.

The second greatest thing? The Dutch Bitch, one of my oldest blogging friends, visited me here in Redneckistan!

I had a lot of expenses this year, so I tried to save money wherever I could. The one exception was a seriously useless purchase of a Bad Monkey neon sign. It's pretty great...

Bad Monkey in Neon

I also bought new pair of SONOS Era 300 speakers, but those aren't totally useless. I get really awesome sound while watching movies now! And by "now" I meant nine months after I bought them because SONOS had to issue a fix so that Dolby Atmos would play on them without blowing up my SONOS Arc soundbar.

In the not-so-frivolous purchases department... I had to replace my hot water heater. Because of course I did. It was one of the few things that hasn't gone wrong with my house yet. And then I had to replace my HVAC system, because it turns out there were actually two things that hadn't gone wrong with my house yet.

This year was the first time since 2019 that I saw a live concert. And only the second time since 2019 that I saw a movie in a theater. Oddly enough, these were two activities I didn't miss as much as I thought I would. But it turns out I hate people, so being able to watch movies and concerts at home is the best.

I didn't catch COVID again this year. To my knowledge, I've never had it. Though I'm six-times-vaccinated, so it's possible I did contract it but being vaccinated made it so mild that I didn't notice. I am not doing incredibly risky stuff (except going to a concert and a movie) so maybe that helps too. I don't know.

I managed to finish my kitchen renovation after years of working on it. Still want to replace the floor, but that's something I'll likely never be able to afford. I also managed to get half of my yard renovated. In another couple years maybe I'll have the money to do the rest. But first I have to repair my upstairs shower (that was leaking).

Because I have time now that I'm at home all the time and don't travel 1/3 of the year, I ranked all the Pet Shop Boys songs. You're welcome.

Out of all the things I blogged about in 2023, I think the thing I most want to leave you with is this, which I ran across in August...

Teach your kids to be a good friend because some children don't go home to love.

Hope you had a good 2023. And will have an even better 2024.

I'm trying to stay optimistic.

   

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