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The Trash You Make

Posted on Monday, May 1st, 2023

Dave!My garbage output for the week usually consists of a shopping bag full of unrecyclables and a small bag of cat waste. It barely makes a dent in my trash can, which is the smallest one I can get.

And every two months I'm paying $80.44, which is to say I'm required to pay $40.22 every month for a trash can that I don't use very often...

I wish that we could may based on how much trash we produce instead of getting screwed over when we barely have any. I pay $482.64 a year. That's $9.28 a week. But if it takes me a month or more to fill up my trash can, shouldn't I be paying under $10 a month?

Paying by how much trash you produce would be a good incentive for people to waste less, recycle and re-use more. Or maybe it wouldn't. Maybe people like throwing money into their trash like this.

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We’re Fucking Doomed

Posted on Tuesday, May 2nd, 2023

Dave!Look, I know that I'm droning on about top-tier First World Problems, but it's infuriating just how bad things are getting with Apple and their bullshit.

I am perfectly willing to accept the blame when the fault is mine. A few days ago it was overcast and raining that day. All of a sudden all my lights came on. It took me a second to realize that when I wrote the automation which monitors light levels and turns on lights when it gets dark was fooled by the overcast weather. My bad. I should have included a time range so lights aren't turning on in the middle of the day.

That I can deal with because I can (probably) fix it.

What I cannot fix is the idiotic crap that pops up every damn day.

Like coming home and telling Siri on my Apple Watch to unlock the front door. Something I've done hundreds of times before. Only to get this...

Siri says that it looks like you haven't set up any HomeKit devices!

No reason. It just happened out of the blue. And when I go to the Home app on my iPhone? No problem. The front door is unlocked post-haste.

The other day I was writing an email in a language I'm not terribly comfortable with and decided to ask Siri if the word I was using means what I thought it did. Siri didn't understand. So I thought... let's try a more popular foreign language here in the USA...

ME: "Hey Siri, what does the word 'mañana' mean in Spanish?"
SIRI: "In Spanish, mañana means" =insert pause= "mañana!"

AND SIRI SAID THE SECOND MAÑANA IN A SPANISH ACCENT!! Thanks a fucking heap. Remember last week when I was talking about how Apple is losing the AI digital assistant battle badly? This is exactly what I'm talking about.

But even something like that is not going to send me into a ballistic rage where I want to rip my little HomePod orb out of the wall and chuck it out the window. No, that's reserved for stupid, inexplicable bullshit that has absolutely nothing to do with what Apple should be promising... but instead what they have actually been promising!

Like telling Siri to play a song I want to listen to. Have Siri tell me the song will play. Then have Siri tell me there's a problem with Apple Music. WHAT THE FUCK?!? I'm trying to listen to an Apple Service on an Apple Product. There's no disconnect here. And the solution I get from Apple Support Knowledgebase? Remove the HomePod from HomeKit. Reset it. Then reinstall it. Do you know what happens when I do that? THIS RIGHT HERE...

Siri says SETUP FAILED! ERROR 300208!

What a friendly error message! What the fuck does (300208) even mean? I tried three times. The fucker will not add back to HomeKit. And the KnowledgeBase isn't helping. I've wasted fucking hours of my life on this shit. So now I have a dead HomePod and I will have to try and get support out of Apple, whose support is so fucking shitty now-a-days that I am almost to the point where I want to throw this one away and get a new one.

For months the internet has been abuzz about how Apple is at the forefront of eliminating passwords forever so we can use biometric data (like a retinal scan or a fingerprint) to unlock our lives for us. Even when the story is about Google following Apple's lead! Which is so fucking laughable because Apple can't even get rid of passwords in their own fucking ecosystem! This is what I got when I went to remove my HomePod mini from my HomeKit so I could re-add it...

ENTER YOUR FUCKING PASSWORD FOR THE TENTH TIME TODAY!

Apple asks me for my password ALL THE FUCKING TIME! And if Apple can't even get their shit to work for themselves, then what hope do they have trying to bring others along? Passkey barely works (when it works at all) on many sites which try to implement it (like this blog!).

This has disaster written all over it.

"Hey Siri! I can't breathe and I think I'm having a heart attack! Call 9-1-1!"

"Playing the song 'Every Breath You Take' on Apple Music." =insert pause= "Apple Music is not responding."

We're fucking doomed.

   

DOON TWOOOOO!

Posted on Wednesday, May 3rd, 2023

Dave!Given how spectacular the Dune adaptation is... I was fully expecting that they would kill the followup film. Then, miracle of miracles, Warner Bros. gave Denis Villeneuve the green light for Part Two. I was elated. At the very least we'd be getting a full adaptation of the first book. And hopefully get some followups, because the story is just getting started.

And today the trailer dropped.

It's everything you'd hope it would be...

And speaking of Dune...

There's a new "behind the scenes" book being released about the first Dune movie.

Yes, I'm going to buy this book.

Hell yes.

I will say it for the hundredth time... David Lynch's Dune was a great movie. Yes, I questioned some of the choices made. Yes, the special effects were limited by the technology of the day. But the fact he was forced to shove the entire book in one movie and have it turn out as amazing as it did is worthy of praise. Do I prefer the Villeneuve 2021/2023 adaptation? Yes. Does this diminish my appreciation for what Lynch was able to accomplish? It does not. I've watched it dozens of times and still love it.

   

The Art of Being Ted

Posted on Thursday, May 4th, 2023

Dave!The eighth episode of Ted Lasso moves us further towards the season (and possibly series) finale. It also deals with something entirely topical: hacking people's digital privacy to release their personal data. In this case it's a sexy time video of Keeley that she sent to her boyfriend at the time.

The tremendous loss that's going to come when the show ends isn't just the characters, the stories, and the whole concept of it all... it's the artistry of everything that goes into it.

In this latest episode I was really struck by the visual language of the show. Like many good directors and cinematographers, there's a lot of thought that goes into every shot.

Spoilers from here on out...

When the show starts, there's a shot of Jaimie Tartt being Jamie Tartt. Of all the characters in the show, his journey has had the biggest arc...

The framing here is interesting. It's not a closeup of the camera filming his face as you might expect. They wanted to show his body language. He's centered in the frame because Jamie is all about Jamie. There's not room for anybody else.

They shift to Roy Kent, who is not centered on the frame. Roy's visual language is him standing apart from people. Note Jamie in the background as the conversation is revolving around the leak of private information, including Keeley. Roy was Keeley's last boyfriend, Jamie was the boyfriend before...

There's nothing special about the shot that follows. But it's funny because Jamie gets a look at Will Kitman's private photos that he's deleting. Which is assumably includes the threesome he recently had in Amsterdam...

But then we get to Colin leaving the room after Isaac instructs everybody to delete all sexytime photos of other people from their phones so they don't get hacked and released. Isaac assumes that it's because Colin doesn't want to delete his photos. But the truth is that he needs privacy because his photos aren't something he wants his teammates to see. So when Isaac follows him and grabs his phone away, he gets a surprise he wasn't prepared for...

Isaac is just right of center, so you're focusing on his face. He doesn't look happy. But is it because he found out Colin is gay and doesn't approve... or because Colin never told him. Even Colin doesn't seem to know...

Notice that Isaac is looming over him, making Colin seem as small as he is feeling. Something he has worked so hard to hide is out. And once Isaac leaves him, Colin is left alone. Except the framing of the shot shows that the entire sofa is there. Something unsaid and unknown is sitting next to him. He's got baggage we can't see that he has to make room for wherever he goes...

Roy tracks down Keeley to tell her he's sorry about what happened. They are having a conversation while actively avoiding looking at each other, which is to show that they're hiding what they really want to say...

Roy then makes the horrible mistake of asking Keeley who the sexytime video was meant for. He regrets it immediately. And now he's framed as alone and apart again as Keeley leaves...

We then get a shot of poor Richard still deleting all his sexytime photos from his phone which, given that he's a playboy footballer, is apparently a lot. And it's a traumatic experience for him. Note that he is centered in the frame, unlike Colin, because he doesn't have to make room of anything unsaid. His life is much, much more simple...

Ted's son wants to go to a football game, and the only team playing is the dreaded West Ham, coached by former Ted protégée Nathan. They made sure to frame the shot so you could see Coach Beard defiantly standing amongst all the West Ham fans...

After the game, they're off to Mae's pub where she's mortified to see that Henry is wearing a West Ham shirt. But they beautifully switch to a wide shot so you can see Ted's reaction... because he knows what Mae's reaction will be...

After Ted wanders off for a phone call, Coach Beard gives some sage advice to Henry and the post-divorce life of his parents. It's interesting that they decided to not do a side-shot where you can see both of their faces. Nope, they swung the camera behind Henry so you can really focus on what Beard is saying...

And then, at the end of the episode, we get yet another priceless moment showing how Jamie has grown and changed over these three seasons. He had deleted all his sexytime photos of Keeley once he knew her relationship with Roy was real. But he forgot about the emails. It was his phone that got hacked and it's where Keeley's video got leaked from. He feels awful about it, and wanted to apologize to Keeley for it. Knowing how Jamie was at the start of the show, you can't help but be touched by the gesture. Especially when you see how much Jamie still cares for her. When the camera is focused on Keeley hugging Jamie, it's close... it's personal. But when the camera is focused on Jamie being hugged by Keeley, it's a wider shot. Likely so you can see her hugging him back. And while it's no less personal, there's room in the frame for somebody else. Which I'm guessing is Roy...

It's nice to see that the incredible writing and acting are not being buried by crap photography. Every episode has people who really know their stuff... from directing and filming to editing.

Which is just yet another reason I'm having a really tough time at the thought of this show ending.

   

It’s Not Delivery… It’s Delivery!

Posted on Friday, May 5th, 2023

Dave!Yesterday I went to make a shopping list so I could plan a trip to the grocery store this weekend. As I opened up the Safeway app, I decided to roll the dice and see if delivery was available to my small city. Unlike the last several times I tried, delivery was actually available!

And so... I gave it a try. If grocery delivery is normal for you, then you already know how it works. But for me?

Ever since the pandemic started and the lockdown happened, I make one big grocery run the first weekend of the month (after payday)... then make little trips for perishables until the next month. And that's what I did when making my order for delivery. Which is silly, really. I signed up for a "free delivery" trial so I could get $30 or more in groceries delivered any time I want for one month. And since $30 barely buys anything anymore, it would be easy to hit that amount.

Habits, and all.

The nice thing about making an order through the Safeway app is that I get all the stupid-ass discounts available... Weekly ad, Just 4 U, Club Card... and whatever else they dream up to make shopping a massive chore because it's a crapshoot if the discounts actually get applied. Because a lot of times, at least one of them doesn't. But with the app, you see the discount on every item. And the grand total you pay reflects all the discounts you got. Refreshing!

Delivery fees vary by how big of a window you request. A one-hour window is $9.95. Larger windows cost less money... down to $3.95. But since I'm on a free trial, I was able to get a one-hour window after work for $0.00. Nice.

Safeway allows you to add a tip for your driver. They default to 5%, but I went up to 10%... which actually worked out to over 15% because the amount is calculated on the total before discount. I've seen the videos about the horrendous shit that drivers have to put up with, and it seems like the very least I could do. Especially since they are saving me a 20 minute drive to the store, followed by 30 minutes shopping, followed by a 20 minute drive home.

You're texted a link once your groceries leave the store so you can cyber-stalk your driver...

Cyberstalking My Driver

All my groceries arrived on time. Everything I ordered was there. Frozen stuff was still frozen. Cold stuff was still cold.

It was like magic.

I seriously felt like a kid on Christmas morning.

There was only one thing that made it not a perfect experience. The two small bags of salad I got were turning brown. Not expired yet. But far from fresh. If I were doing the shopping myself, I would have never bought them. There's $3 down the drain. The rest of the produce was great though.

I'm probably going to pay for the subscription for free delivery. It's $99 a year, but you get a $5 credit every month, bringing it down to $39. Then you get discounts and specials which will probably make it a wash. The only thing I'll be paying extra is the tip for my driver, which far, far outweighs the inconvenience and horrors of having to do it all myself.

And I could do with a little less horror right now.

   

Caturday 305

Posted on Saturday, May 6th, 2023

Dave!Let's see... what's happening in the world of cats this week?

First of all, Jenny continues to get more and more demanding. If I happen to be playing video games when she wants to be petted? TOUGH SHIT! You will pause your game and you will pet me because I demand it!

Earlier this week I was eating sliced apples with caramel dip. The last thing I needed was to have cat hair stuck to my apples, so I told her to wait a minute. She did not like this! Jumped up behind me on the couch and started meowing at my head...

JENNY LOOKING DOWN ON ME DEMANDING PETS!

And of course she gets what she wants...

Jenny getting pets.

In other news, Jake is starting to climb on me when he wants attention. He hasn't done that in months...

Jake in my lap.

Jake in my lap again.

Jake sleeping in my lap.

How can I resist that? I can't. He's been bringing Mufasa to me lately too. Something he also hasn't done in months...

Jake dropping off Mufasa his toy lion.

Me trying to give him his toy lion back.

Which is to say that I am on-call at all times, because Jenny still demands pets before sleep...

Jenny getting petted on my bed.

And I know it's normal cat behavior, but I still marvel at the way that Jake will be scared to death and run away from me one minute... then just decide to plop down in front of me while I'm following him downstairs for breakfast. If I'm not careful, I can easily step on him, because he will not move. I have to figure out a way around him....

Jake stopped on the stairs as I am trying to get down to feed him breakfast.

And that's enough cats for today. Have a good Saturday!

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Bullet Sunday 805

Posted on Sunday, May 7th, 2023

Dave!I did not see this coming, but here we are... because an all new Very Special Jury Duty Edition of Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Jury Duty! My favorite new show so far this year is Poker Face. But a very close second would be Jury Duty. The concept is unreal... a fake trial was created where nothing was real and everybody in the courtroom is an actor. Except one guy who actually thought he was serving on a real jury for a documentary. And it's insane...

Ronald in a Jury Duty promo image.

When I first heard of it, I wasn't going to watch it because I was worried that the entire point of the show was going to be making fun of this poor man. But nothing could be further from the truth. Ronald Gladden is the hero we all need right now. He's incredibly kind, decent, and sweet. They couldn't have possibly lucked out any harder, because he's also jaw-droppingly entertaining...

Seriously. It's amazing reality television. The Truman Show come to life.


   
What follows may contain spoilers, so be sure to watch the show (which is free on Amazon FreeVee) before continuing.

   
• Ronald! Once you see the last episode where poor Ronald is told that his entire world for the last 17 days was fake... your heart sinks a little bit. That would be a lot to take in for anybody. It's like... could you ever trust your reality again? For a little look behind the scenes, here's an interview with him on The Elvis Duran Show...

For a lengthier look into the show from Ronald's viewpoint, KFC Radio has you covered...

I really, really hope that we see more of Ronald. He's just too good to fade away.

   
• Marsden! As if Ronald wasn't reason enough to watch, they somehow got James Marsden roped into this. And he is comedy gold!

I've seen Marsden occasionally on different talk shows, but nothing could have possibly prepared me for how good he was in Jury Duty. If you want a more extensive look, that's on KFC Radio too...

The fact that Jame Marsden seems to be a good guy as well makes the show that much better.

   
• May the Schwartz be with you! There are numerous moments with Ronald that are too good to be true... and his lighting up when mentioning that he didn't know Ben Schwartz was the voice of Sonic in the Sonic The Hedgehog movie is definitely one of them...

Literally there can't be too many good things coming Ronald's way.

   
• jorf! In the fourth episode, Todd "soils his shirt" in a freak mannequin accident. Since they are at a T-shirt company, Todd ends up trading his soiled shirt for a misprint shirt with "jorf" printed on it. It's supposed to be a misprint, nonsense word... and I thought it was so cool that I simply had to have one. Except later at Margaritaville the jury finds out that jorf means something awful. Well, not really, but in context of the show. So then I'm like "GOOD LORD! I COULD NEVER WEAR THAT SHIRT!" Even though it's all fake. What it "means" is fake. And that's what messes with your head. This show makes fake become real.

   
• SECONDS? The sad thing about this show being a massive success is that they really can't do a second season because everybody has seen it. Or at least knows about it. They would have to go really deep to find somebody who hasn't seen it, and I don't even know that would be possible.

   
If you haven't watched this... what are you waiting for?. It's free to watch on Amazon FreeVee.

   

Oh So Crispy

Posted on Monday, May 8th, 2023

Dave!Apples are my favorite fruit. My current favorite variety of apple is "Pink Lady" which are tart and crisp, but have sweet notes. They are good eating and fantastic with caramel dipping sauce. For reasons I don't understand, they got shoved aside in favor of "Cosmic Crisp" apples. This variety isn't terrible... it's juicier and has more flavor than the "Red Delicious"... but it's not the best-tasting apple I've had.

The first batch of Cosmic Crips I saw were incredibly expensive. I bought one to try. Then never bought them again because they were too speedy. But then I noticed that they had plummeted in price. And the store was having a sale: four for the price of three. I bought them because they were actually cheaper than many other options (including Pink Ladies).

I still don't understand the infatuation. And maybe other people don't either for them to be sold so cheap. Fortunately I had plenty of dipping caramel to add some flavor.

And speaking of crispy...

Pete Davidson, of whom I've always been a fan, has a new show out called Bupkis. Not only is it darn good (if a little uneven), it has a huge list of guest stars. And, Lord only knows how, he managed to get JOE PESCI out of retirement, but he's amazing in this...

If you've got Peacock, it's worth a look. If, for no other reason, you can find out why the fourth episode is more crispy than Cosmic Crisp.

   

Eyes Wide Open

Posted on Tuesday, May 9th, 2023

Dave!My obsession with the show Jury Duty continues.

In all the interviews I've seen, Ronald seems like he is wide open to becoming a public figure and exploiting whatever fame he gets from the show. And, in all seriousness, good for him. Everybody loves the guy, and he deserves it.

Ronald already signed on with the Artists First talent agency, so I guess he's going to be popping up everywhere very soon. Like in this Mint Mobile commercial...

In all honesty, I don't know whether I'd rather have a hug from Ryan Reynolds or Ronald Gladden.

   

All That You Are

Posted on Wednesday, May 10th, 2023

Dave!The latest episode of Ted Lasso was great... but still filled me with despair because now there's just three left.

I will probably just live-blog the final four because I have nothing better going on right now.

So. Spoilers. Obviously.

And we're off...

  • The fact that Brett Goldstein is never out of character... even when just standing on the sidelines... is magical to me. His posture is all Roy Kent all the time.
  • Coach Beard is so delightfully weird. IF we get lucky enough for the show to continue and Jason Sudeikas isn't on board, I sure hope he stays in London.
  • The two possibilities are that A) Isaac is a raging homophobe and wants nothing to do with Colin now that he knows he's gay... or B) Isaac is upset that his good friend and teammate kept something so important from him. As this is Ted Lasso, I think we all know what it's going to be.
  • Dani Rojas is such a great character than it's painful to see his final episodes reduced to smelly socks. But I guess we can't have all the teammates getting the spotlight all the time, darnit.
  • Am I the only one who never fast-forwards through the credits? I love the song. I love the design of it all. Short and catchy.
  • Keeley's entire diversion with Jack has been so senseless. It's a diversion that hasn't worked at all and I'm glad that it's done with. I guess they had to have something for Keeley to do, but staying in a relationship with Roy and finding something interesting revolving around her new business really should have been enough.
  • Nice plug for Apple iPhone "blue bubbles!"
  • Lord. Ted can be SO frickin' annoying. This whole heart-bent fart song is just dumb. This is time that could have been spent so much better.
  • OH GOD HOW I LOVE ROY KENT! He is, bar none, my most favorite character to ever grace my television.
  • I really don't want to objectify Rebecca or anything... but holy shit is Hannah Waddington fit! Her legs are flawless. As is the rest of her.
  • Nope. Nope. Nope. They destroyed Nathan as a character after making him so heinously awful. Don't give a shit about him, regardless of whatever redemption arc they've got going on.
  • Jade has ended up being a great character. Her deadpan reaction to Rupert dissing her boyfriend is everything. "He seems very wealthy." is classic Jade.
  • So Rupert is not getting a redemption arc. He's awful. And there's nothing more than that.
  • Like I said, Coach Beard is delightfully weird and I love him in every scene.
  • Seriously. Hannah Waddington is frickin' gorgeous. I'm smitten.
  • Oh Roy! LOLOL!
  • I have mentioned several times how I would love to see more of Richard Montlaur. He is the quintessential playboy footballer with his nonstop parade of beautiful women and sports cars... and we really don't have that in the show. It could make for some funny moments if they'd only give him a chance. But instead we get to hear that he has a hairy ass. Thanks for the character building!
  • Trent Crimm has always been an interesting character, and it's truly great that we get to see a bit more of him. Especially in this context with Colin.
  • Those rare scenes between Roy and Rebecca are always gold. And they're always so different. They're never on repeat, which is fascinating, because they are also never out of character.
  • Again. Couldn't give two shits about Nate. He and Rupert deserve each other. All these scenes are time wasted for me.
  • See... I'd much rather devote Nathan's screen time to Mae, Paz, Jeremy, and Paul. Or almost anybody, for that matter.
  • The crappy Richmond fan is exactly why I don't go to many sporting events any more. It's more and more common for "fans" to be repugnant assholes in the stands, and I really don't need that. I go to enjoy the game and have fun... not be reminded that people are terrible. To add insult to injury, the fan is being stupid. Richmond is down by one. One! Not five or six! And that's after winning eight straight games. This is a bit sloppy on behalf of the writers. They could have made the fan be an ass over something that actually makes sense.
  • Isaac became a great character in the second season. The fact that the actor (Kola Bokinni) manages to add some dimension to what seemed like a fairly one-dimensional player is rewarding. This isn't just the writers giving him some attention.
  • Interesting that the "f-word" can be dropped constantly without problem, but the other "f-word" can't be said, says a lot about the word in question.
  • And here is why I love Sam & Jamie. Dang. So many incredible characters on this show.
  • And now we know which side Isaac is on. As if there was ever any doubt. And here's a softer side of Roy Kent as well. If there was a show called Roy Kent I would absolutely watch that.
  • They should have never promoted Nate out of being kit man. That's where his character started going all wrong. And seeing Will Kitman being who Nathan could have been is sobering. They could have still had him still make suggestions for the team to Ted and Beard... that would have been great... but Evil Nate is a waste of time.
  • Colin's big moment was... off screen?? Good Lord. Why? Everything has been leading up to this!
  • Ted's folksy charm was incredible in the first season. Wearing a little thin in the second season. But now? This story of his is just eye-rolling bad. It's like they used up all their ideas for the character, and now he's been reduced to fart jokes and blowing up toilets. HOWEVER... his ending comment about "hating to bring up work at a time like this" is classic Ted.
  • Okay... Trent and Colin's little convo here is hilarious.
  • Having Colin suddenly be this brilliant footballer just because he came out to his team is a bit over the top, isn't it?
  • Oh shocking. Rupert is a womanizing piece of shit! Still. Guess running that trope into the ground was more important than devoting time to Richmond?
  • Roy Kent's press conference is just brilliant all the way around. From Brett's performance to the writing to the reactions of the other actors. THIS RIGHT HERE is everything I am going to miss about this show. The fact that it comes with a life lesson is why Ted Lasso is my favorite show of all time.
  • WHY? WHY DIDN'T THEY PAN TO OLD TRENT'S REACTION AFTER ROY SAID THAT HE PREFERS NEW TRENT TO OLD TRENT?!?
  • Something I don't talk about much is the genius behind the musical selections that come out of this show. Many times I look up the songs so I can add them to my playlist. You can bet that All That You Are by Bear's Den was added. It's lovely.
  • Colin's house is amazing.
  • And of course the scene between Colin and Isaac is the best. As you knew it would be. The fact that they managed to make it so funny on top of being so wonderfully sweet and charming is nice.
  • Colin tell Isaac that he's not interested in telling the world he's gay, and that tracks with his conversation with Trent in Amsterdam. So I guess that's the end of that. With only three episodes left, they don't really have time to have this leak to the world at large.
  • This I Am What I Am and What I Am is No Excuses monstrosity of a song is obviously some kind of gay Broadway anthem... which definitely won't be added to my playlist. Yikes.

Here's that Bear Den song, just in case you need it...

Good night!

   

The Weather Ain’t What it Used to Be

Posted on Thursday, May 11th, 2023

Dave!The older man was having a tough time retrieving the money out of his wallet. It was no big deal to me, but the sales clerk was clearly getting annoyed. She was drumming one of her hands on the cash drawer and acting like she would get paid more if only the guy would move faster.

After paying, the guy grabbed his bag then turned to apologize to me for being so slow. I told him "Don't worry, I'm in no hurry."

His response was "Yeah? The weather ain't what it used to be."

I have spent the rest of my day trying to figure out what that meant. Did he mis-hear me? Was it a metaphor for something profound? Did I mis-hear him?

I mean, he's not wrong... but in what way?

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Pre-Loved at The Vestiaire Collective

Posted on Friday, May 12th, 2023

Dave!So... Disney+ is yet another streaming service that doesn't get it. They are merging their service with Hulu and removing content (along with providing less new content). And raising prices.

I signed up for Marvel and Start Wars content. Period. I don't watch anything else on their service. So the less content they have of these properties... and the less new content they add of them... the less there is for me to watch and the less reason I have to stay subscribed month-after-month. Adding Hulu crap doesn't compensate for WHAT YOU TOLD ME I WOULD BE GETTING WHEN I SIGNED UP. Another season of Handmaid's Tale (or whatever) does not interest me. And it really doesn't make up for a price increase and less content for me to watch. These streaming services are trying to be all things to all people and failing badly at it. Stick to your niche: Disney, Pixar, Marvel, and Star Wars. I'll pay for that. All your other content should be a separate service that has to succeed or fail on its own. Don't expect me to subsidize it, because I won't.

Oh well. I'll just subscribe once or twice a year to watch whatever new Marvel and Star Wars content I want to see.

Hopefully without ads because there's only so many millions of times I can handle watching commercials for The Vestiaire Collective.

But anyway...

I've had all the camera brands... Canon to Nikon to Olympus to Panasonic to Fuji to whatever. Despite the shitty menus on the camera, my hands-down favorite is from Sony. No joke... Sony Electronics makes the best cameras I've ever used, and I've gone around the world with them.

BUT THEIR SOFTWARE FOR EVEN THE MOST BASIC FUNCTIONS... LIKE TETHERED SHOOTING... IS THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING WORST. They NEVER work. EVER. I have never once been able to get ANYTHING working with Sony tethered shooting for more than two minutes.

This morning I've been trying again for an hour.

NOPE! How in the hell do you fuck up something so simple THIS badly?

PC Remote is ON...

PC Remote ON

Remote Control is ON...

Remote Control ON

The camera knows it's plugged into a computer...

Connecting! NOT!

But of course the software on my camera doesn't recognize any of it. Thank God I'm mostly done with SLR cameras. The iPhone camera is good enough for 98% of what I need, and those photos I can actually get to on my computer.

   

Caturday 306

Posted on Saturday, May 13th, 2023

Dave!I hit the cat jackpot lottery. Both Jake and Jenny are so ridiculously entertaining.

Jake brought Mufasa into my bedroom for his morning pets yesterday. When I got back from taking a shower, this was going on...

Jake looking at Mufasa

Jake hugging Mufasa

Jake biting Mufasa

Jake trying to get Mufasa fuzz off his tongue

I have no idea if Jake loves Mufasa or hates Mufasa. It's a mixed bag every time.

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Bullet Sunday 806

Posted on Sunday, May 14th, 2023

Dave!It's a lovely Spring day. As much as it can be, anyway. So I guess it's go time... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Opt-Out of Stupid! =sigh= The first Mother's Day without my mom was, as you can imagine, a soul-crushing event (and each one after is no easier). Not because it reminded me of what I had lost... because there wasn't anything that didn't remind me of what I lost... but because the weeks leading up to the actual day means being inundated with emails telling me to buy a gift for my mom. That's an assault that was incredibly difficult to deal with, because nothing would make me happier to be able to buy something for my mom again. Now-a-days, it's getting a bit easier because companies are allowing you to fine-tune your emails to not include events which my be tough on you. But of course there are total fucking assholes who want to make this kindness into something horrible. Because that's where we are now...

@jwilliamj “My political beliefs = anti 2010 meme”- @Matt Walsh #fyp #foryoupage #viral #foryou #leftistlogic #conservative #woke #stitch ♬ original sound - JJ

Just fuck you. Is there absolutely anything... anything at all... that can make you put yourself in somebody else's shoes for even two fucking seconds? I try to find the best in people, but I sincerely doubt it. Trading off of misery is apparently too profitable.

   
• Tattoo Me! I was outright called a "satan worshipper" once because I have tattoos. I told them that my tattoos have nothing to do with satan... only to be screeched at with "ANY TIME YOU DESECRATE THE BODY GOD GAVE YOU, YOU ARE WORSHIPPING SATAN!!!" And that's when I looked her dead in the face and said "Then hail satan and fuck off, I guess." Because I'm happy to confirm idiotic biases. I'm here to help. Which is why this resonates with me...

@nurse.alexrn My boss was crying laughing #nursesoftiktok #nurselife #nursehumor #nurseproblems #nursetok #medicalhumor #nursinghumor #nursetok ♬ original sound - Tank the GSD

People are so toxic now-a-days that unless you conform exactly to their ideals they go all asshole on you.

   
• Jenno! A conversation I had yesterday...

"Ooh! There's a new Hannah Gadsby special on Netflix!"
"You like Hannah Gadsby?"
"Sure. I mean, there's parts of her sets that don't hit with me, but that's okay."
"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A MAN!"
"I HAVE APOLOGIZED FOR MY GENDER MANY TIMES!"
"YOU CAN'T APOLOGIZE ENOUGH!"
"I'M SORRY!"

"Okay. You're good for another day."
"DAY? Can't we call me good for a month? Or at least a week?"
"No."
"Okay then, have a nice evening!"
"You too!"
"As good as the patriarchy will allow."

As it turns out, this is my favorite her specials.

   
• Lord of the... Rings?! These Wes Anderson parodies just keep coming. And are fantastic...

As always, I would pay serious money to see this film if it existed.

   
• Dooce. One of the most famous bloggers ever, Heather Armstrong, died this past week after losing her long struggle with depression (a battle she fought very hard, even going so far as to undergoing experimental treatments where her brain activity was stopped then restarted). This is awful. I think she wasn't even 50 yet? She's one of the old school bloggers who started around the time I did. I wasn't into mommy-blogging, but I ran across her posts from time to time and she was about as real as you could get online. Which is probably why she was so popular. I'd read things she wrote and think "Wow, I could never get that personal so publicly!"... and I'm betting that's what made her so relatable and beloved by the community that formed around her (even though lately she became infamous for blogging some pretty heinous things that I disagree with vehemently). Rest in peace, Heather. You can't get Dooced in heaven. Thinking of her two kids today.

   
• Tour of Wealth! Architecture YouTube is a bottomless pit of amazing homes and buildings for me. I can get lost there for hours. This one popped up this past week, and I honestly don't know how to feel about it...

If I had the money? Sure! I'd live there! Except... I just don't know how I could sleep at night knowing that I've used $250,000,000 that could have gone towards helping people. AND STILL HAVE MILLIONS LEFT OVER TO SPEND ON A NEW HOUSE... OR TEN! It's just so unfathomable to me.

   
Wishing you a good rest of your Sunday.

   

Corn Over the Mountains in Traffic

Posted on Monday, May 15th, 2023

Dave!I have apparently reached the point where I am the guy who doesn't want to leave the house.

Remember when you could drive to the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport from my house in 2 hours and 25 minutes? Pepperidge Farms remembers. Now you are very lucky to do it in under 3 hours... even if you carefully plan it so that you hit that narrow 1:30 to 3:30 window where the traffic is bad... but not horrendous like what happens after 3:30.

Even though I planned accordingly, there were two lane closure events that cost me 20 minutes and a traffic slow-down that added an additional 10 minutes. So... needless to say it was well over 3 hours travel time. Again. This blows. Left at 12:30, arrive at 3:40. It's gotten to the point where I just want to stay home with my cats and not go anywhere.

I'd get drunk to decompress, but I have work in the morning and don't want to be hung over for it.

So instead I went to Cheesecake Factory for Corn Cakes...

Corn Cakes!

No, it doesn't make up for having to leave home.

But it does come close.

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The Car Curse Continues

Posted on Tuesday, May 16th, 2023

Dave!I bought my mom the Toyota Corolla I'm driving in 2006. It's now 17 years old. I love not having car payments so much that I decided to drive it until it died, and figured I could at least push it to 20 years. I just had the brakes completely re-done last year with this in mind.

Now the clear-coat is peeling off, it needs more work because the muffler is just starting to sound bad, and the engine is getting a little rough. But I figure the cost of having all that done is worth it if I don't have to buy a new car.

And THEN somebody ran into the car in the parking lot of my hotel last night. At least I'm assuming that's what happened because I never noticed the damage before today. I was able to get it popped out, but it's scraped up and a bit cracked. Which means even more money needed to sink into the car.

And so... guess I am ready to cut my losses and buy a new car.

Maybe?

Because I don't really want a new-new car. If I had a new-new car, I'd be paranoid about getting hit in a hotel parking lot way too much. And I'd freak out if anything happened to it. So I want a new-to-me used car. I thought... maybe I can get something relatively recent and decent and certified pre-owned for $15-$16,000. WELP! Even used cars are tragically expensive, yo. IN MANY CASES MORE EXPENSIVE THAN A NEW CAR! And if I can't get certified pre-owned, then there's the idea that something could go wrong with it almost immediately and I'd have to sink even MORE money into it.

Blergh. This blows. Why can't I be a billionaire who doesn't have to worry about things like this?

The Corolla only has 85,000 miles on it. Probably worth just having the work doen and coasting for seven years. At least I know the car was taken care of. I'm tight with the owner.

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Unplanned Pauses are the Best Pauses

Posted on Wednesday, May 24th, 2023

Dave!I do not take blog hiatuses very often. It's actually pretty rare.

I've had maybe 5 or 6 in twenty-three years maybe? My longest hiatus was, understandably, when I was moving my mom to a facility (and the aftermath) because I couldn't care for her any more. It was the absolute lowest time in my life with a hurt so deep that communicating with the outside world (let alone the entire internet) simply wasn't possible for four months. Oddly enough, I didn't take a hiatus when she passed two years later. By that time I had already said goodbye twice... once when I moved her out of my home... again when she no longer remembered me... so it was actually therapeutic to remember how incredibly lucky I was to have such a great mom, and reflect on what an inspiration she is and the horrors of her slide into dementia, then talk about my lessons learned about caring for a loved one with dementia so that maybe it could help somebody else.

Other hiatuses aren't nearly so dramatic. A couple times because I had things to deal with. A couple times because my blog was broken.

But this past week? There really isn't a reason. I just needed a week off. I have entirely too much on my plate to write about anything so I just... didn't.

Let's see what happened...

  • My spiffy new heat pump uses the existing return line to the air exchanger in my garage. It's a line that goes through my walls. And because the builder did a horrendously shitty job securing the line and made zero effort to dampen the sound, it can get way more noisy than I'm comfortable with. So I am having to rip out another wall to deal with that (let's see... that would be #4, if you're counting).
  • After my first landscaper got COVID and was no longer able to work... my second landscaper bailed after I approved his plan ("I can't deal with the job right now")... and my third landscaper just plain ghosted me after his final proposal didn't include major things we discussed, but was the still same price he originally quoted!... I am now on landscaper number four. I am fairly optimistic. And I'm happy that I didn't spend all the money I saved for the project four years ago.
  • My annual Spring allergies are killing me. As I age, I swear they are getting worse and worse. It's all so weird because I had outgrown all my allergies decades ago, only to have them return now? Why?
  • My job is pretty tough. I have to juggle a lot of tasks, know a lot of information, and be creative enough to assemble it all in a pleasing way. Which is why I don't fucking need things making my life harder. And the thing making my life exceedingly difficult right now is the Epson Colorworks printer I have to use for printing labels. Constant problems. Changing labels is a nightmare. Constantly thinks it's jammed when there's nothing jammed in it. A roll runs out of labels and the printer acts like the world is fucking ending instead of just stopping and alerting you. Half the time I end up having to turn the printer off and on MULTIPLE TIMES in order to get the thing to finally LOAD THE FUCKING LABELS. — The first computer I used was a punchcard computer as a guest of a university. From there I moved to a VAX. The first personal computer I had was an Apple ][. I have bought more computers and computer tech in the past 40 years than I can even remember. AND THE EPSON COLORWORKS PRINTER IS THE FUCKING WORST OF ANYTHING I'VE EVER USED! Seriously horrendous. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I FUCKING HATE IT. I'd almost rather draw the labels by hand than to use this fucking thing ever again. I fantasize about setting it on fire. Or pushing it off a cliff. Or dropping it in the ocean. I am posting this to my blog so that anybody Googling for thoughts on this fucking piece of shit will know to avoid AT ALL COSTS.
  • Because time has been scarce, cooking has been minimal this past week. The majority of what I've been eating has been frozen stuff. It's starting to wear on me. Until I started eating healthier, I had no idea how much of a toll crap food was taking on me. But I'm just too exhausted to spend the 30 minutes to an hour cooking up something better each night. Really hoping to do a hard reset on my meals soon, because this is unsustainable.
  • And of course there's the usual bullshit that never seems to stop. I swear, some people have completely given up on decency and kindness, and just just live to see how many people they can hurt. Watching it in the news day-in and day-out is demoralizing in every possible way. A part of me wonders exactly what has to happen before there's no turning back from the toxic hellscape we're creating. I mean, clearly we're already in hell... Florida reaffirms this almost daily... but this trend of persecuting as many people as possible just because people don't like them or don't care about them will almost certainly spill over into things and people who they DO like, right? Trans persons and drag queens today... but maybe Episcopalians and left-handed people tomorrow? Where the fuck does it end?

Since blogging is pretty much... well... dead... I might have to take a minute more often. I always thought that if I took breaks I would just stop altogether, but it hasn't happened yet. So maybe?

   

Penultimate Ted Reflections

Posted on Thursday, May 25th, 2023

Dave!Last night I watched the next-to-last, penultimate, almost the end episode of Ted Lasso. As I've done for a few episodes now, I jotted down my thoughts while it was playing (then watched it again this morning so I could see it without the distraction of typing).

While there were no serious surprises (as there likely won't be since they are wrapping everything up), there were some nice character moments that made for an expectedly good episode.

Spoilers follow. Please watch the episode before reading any further!

Spoiler Zone!

  • The quirk residents of Ted's neighborhood are always a treat. What I wouldn't give to get a peek behind the lives of these people.
  • Oh boy. Ted's mom in town for an unannounced vist. Are we doing this because her dying wish is for Ted to come back home? Lord, I hope not.
  • Oh for fucks sake. Just having Nate disappear off the show would have been a perfectly lovely thing after he made ammends to the horrible way he treated Will last week. But I guess we're wasting more time with a character I don't give a shit about.
  • I will say that I do love Jade though. Show of hands... when she first appeared on the show, who thought that she'd turn out this good?
  • SHIT! WHY IN THE HELL DOES THE TEAM WHO NATE HATED SO MUCH... WAS TREATED SO BADLY... WANT HIM BACK?!? This character has zero redeeming quantities now. Though I'm sure we're going to get a big redemption moment which will try to act like he does. Nate was horrible... horrible... to the people who embraced him. There is no redemption I can work with.
  • Oh wow... up until now I thought that Mary Kay Place (Sweet Home Alabama) was playing Ted's mom. It's Becky Ann Baker! The mom from Freaks and Geeks.
  • Aw, Sam. &heart;
  • "Better Trent"... LOLOL. Oh, Roy. I'll miss you most of all.
  • Ted's mom being more like Ted than Ted is pretty funny, actually.
  • They've waited three seasons to make that Surrey joke, I'll bet.
  • Okay... that dig at The Daily Mail is classic.
  • I am not joking when I say that I would watch a Trent Crimm spin-off. I'll bet his life is ripe with fascinating stories.
  • Nobody refers to Jan Maas without saying his entire name. I love that.
  • Poor Jamie. Once again they're forging ahead with giving him the most complete story arc in the entire show. The fact that he plays so beautifully off of Roy is so much the better.
  • Coach Beard is so wonderfully weird. And the only one with the correct perspective on Nate. Although... I'm sure this is a setup to him changing his mind. Because of course it is.
  • Roy's reaction to weirdness is always so perfect.
  • I'm enraged all over again thinking about the time wasted with Keeley and Jack. What a waste.
  • I'm sure there's no metaphor or symbolism AT ALL with the Wizard of Oz Pinball machine.
  • Another spin-off I would love to have? The Crown and Anchor Pub. Mae is fascinating enough on her own... but marry that with the people who frequent there? It's a new version of Cheers and could be every bit as entertaining.
  • Goddamn environment! LOL. I'm not complaining. Any opportunity to see more of Rebecca.
  • Christ. More time wasted with Nate. This is the second to the last episode, and there are far, far better ways they could have spent this time.
  • And now I want popcorn.
  • And to watch You've Got Mail, apparently.
  • Yeah, Jamie blowing off his gig at Man City has come back to haunt him. But, of course, Roy is the one with the proper perspective on the situation.
  • BWAH HA HA HAAAA! Jamie wasn't lying when he said that he had a poster of Roy in his room! But it's the Keeley poster that's worth a second look.
  • Those Keeley hotel commercials will never not be funny.
  • Freddie Mercury owning Richmond briefly is perfect. BUT THE JOKE ABOUT HIM FLIPPING STRAIGHTS IS FLAWLESS.
  • Oh wow. Okay. We're actually going to play some football this time!
  • Collin, once again being one of the most brilliant players in football after having been one of the worst. Apparently because he was in the closet. Since that story is finished, I guess this is their way of claiming that they hadn't forgotten about him?
  • I've watched two football matches in a London pub. Once where the team they were supporting won... and once when they lost. The reason I wanted to watch a second one was because the first time was so much fun. The reason I never did it again was because the second time was not fun at all.
  • The moment with the Man City coach is ominous. I wonder what that's about?
  • I mean... what a great moment for Jamie. This pretty much finishes his arc which, as we are continually reminded, is the most complete of the show. Wonder what Roy said to him?
  • Oh wow... Jamie's dad died?
  • I guess not. He's truly reprehensible, but I guess we're redeeming him along with Nate for this moment?
  • Ah. So that's why we got a moment with the Man City coach.
  • Coach Beard and Ted showing how their relationship hasn't changed much since the first episode.
  • Oh yeah. Here's where Beard is going to change his mind about Nate. "Fuuuuuuuuuuck" is right.
  • Jade really is a lovely character, isn't she?
  • You just knew that Beard had an interesting back-story. And this is everything you'd want it to be. Plus Le Mis, LOL.
  • Yeah. Still detest Nate. Kinda wishing that Beard had head-butted him.
  • And... the moment we knew was coming all season just came into focus. Not that we needed it. The fact that Ted was going home was broadcast very, very clearly throughout the entire season.
  • Looks like New Rebecca and Ms. Cakes are seeking advice on how to nail Rupert to the wall. Interesting that they come to Rebecca after she finally came to terms with not needing to destroy him after all.
  • And now I want sunflower seed bread. I haven't had that in 20 years or more. Though it's best with lots of butter on it.
  • "That's just to annoy Americans." Classic. Oh gee, I wonder what Ted has to say to Rebecca?

One episode to go. Quite possibly forever. I need a hug.

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I Don’t Wanna Lose You

Posted on Friday, May 26th, 2023

Dave!I am such a huge, huge fan.

In addition to all the bangers Tina Turner had throughout her career, she was also given the thankless task of trying to work the word "Goldeneye" into a James Bond song... and absolutely killed it...

Damn. What an incredible voice.

It's really tough to pick a favorite Tina song. It's one of two songs... I Don't Wanna Lose You...

Or, after hearing it in that epic episode of Schitt's Creek, it may very well be The Best...

Patrick's version was a clever cover...

Whereas David just went with the best The Best...

Rest in Peace.

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Caturday 307

Posted on Saturday, May 27th, 2023

Dave!Jenny gets what she wants. Always.

And what she wants most of the time if to get petted on command. But I've been incredibly busy, so I've started sitting sideways on the couch so there's no room for her to demand it. Not that this stops her. She's been squeezing next to me like this...

Jenny squeezed next to me

Then she keeps pushing and pushing with her little feets...

Jenny pushing for more room

Until she has the room she wants...

Jenny with even more room

At this point I had one ass-cheek off the couch.

Jake has been obssessing over Mufasa again, dragging the poor thing everywhere. This reulted in my having to repair his favorite toy again. But this time I used carpet thread in hopes that it will hold together longer. If Jake was upset by the repair job, he never complained. He showed up with his lion just as he always does...

Jake with Mufasa on the bed

And immediately went to sleep...

Jake with Mufasa and sleeping

Jake with Mufasa and sleeping

Jake with Mufasa and sleeping

Which is fine. Because another thing he's been doing lately? Dropping Mufasa off with me, then going to nap. Leaving me to babysit, I guess...

Mufasa left for me to babysit while Jake is sleepiing at the other end of the bed.

Somehow I thought that having cats would preclude me from being a grandpa, but I guess I thought wrong.

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Bullet Sunday 807

Posted on Sunday, May 28th, 2023

Dave!Another week another Sunday ... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Cool! Michael Rosenbaum (who has one of my favorite podcasts) posted THIS to Facebook...

So of course I had respond...

Because The Thompson Twins are totally cool!

   
• Modern Meta! I've read a lot about film. I love movies and am fascinated by how people deconstruct and analyze them to add depth to our understanding and appreciation of this artform. Thomas Flight is my hands-down favorite...

He's so amazing at this kind of thing. If you love film, you need to check out his Youtube Channel.

   
• Natively! I've read a lot of documentation about how people have been systematically excommunicated from society by having their cultures, practices, and languages outlawed. The USA has many such travesties. Like native Hawaiians having their hula outlawed... only to have it later coopted and turned into a tourist attraction. Fortunately there are Hawaiians who are attempting to respect and honor the hula so that it returns to its original purpose, but still what a legacy of destruction we have. Needless to say, Native Americans have been horribly treated by the country... despite giving and contributing so much. And American Sign Language? Oh yeah... another contribution. This is fascinating...

It's important we know where we came from. And who came before us.

   
• Life's a Drag! Remember when I wore this Halloween costume I made… in Florida?? Probably be arrested for it now....

Dave and Mr. Flibble

Florida is quickly becoming a fascist hellscape... and the rest of the country seems to be in danger of the same drama.

   
• Avenger! These Wes Anderson parodies are getting out of hand...

Just kidding. They're so good.

   
• Barbie! The marketing for this movie is genius. "If you love Barbie, this movie is for you." — "If you hate Barbie, this movie is for you."

Apparently the movie is for everybody!

   
• MOM?!? The other day I fell down a Jimmy Fowlie rabbit hole, which lead me back to the first video I ever saw of his...

LOL. Just as funny now as it always was.

   
Well, good luck with all that.

   

Memorial for Freedom

Posted on Monday, May 29th, 2023

Dave!I am a huge supporter for those in military service even though I often despise how they are utilized by those in power, and horrified how they are treated after completing their service. I've always done what I can. I donate to veteran's charities... I promote and advocate for MIA/POW programs... I support organizations who send care packages to those serving far from home... I give my time helping organizations which support veterans in crisis... and I do my best to remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country not just on Memorial Day, but every day.

And I am absolutely gutted at how their sacrifice has been dismissed by so many who claim to love America.

Fascism is on a shocking trajectory upward, and I cannot fathom how those who died while fighting fascism abroad would feel about it washing up on our shores today.

Every day I see so-called Christians who know so very little about the teachings of Jesus Christ (and the lessons put forth in the Bible) advocating for a Christo-Fascist State where the government tells you what apps you can use, how you can identify yourself, who you can love, what you are allowed to read, how you worship, whether or not you have access to healthcare... and a shitload of other basic human rights that should be a given in the "Land of the Free," but are quickly becoming exclusive to a select group of people. It's so very sad, and yet too many people are willing to sit back and let it happen because it "doesn't affect them."

Until it does.

At which point it's too late.

To all those who paid the ultimate price for our freedoms that are quickly evaporating, I'm truly sorry. Your sacrifice deserves better.

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Before the End

Posted on Tuesday, May 30th, 2023

Dave!Of course I am staying up so I can watch the finale of Ted Lasso.

But you knew that already.

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At The End of All Things Ted

Posted on Wednesday, May 31st, 2023

Dave!And so here we are at the end.

I can tell you that Ted Lasso is, without a doubt, my favorite televisiion series of all time. It's everything I never knew I needed to see. The writing, the characters, the acting, everything... it's been mostly flawless most of the time.

And now we're at the last episode of the (presumably) last season...

A Snow Globe for Richmond Green

I'm jotting down my thoughts as I watch, so spoilers ahead...

Spoiler Zone!

  • Ted slept with Rebecca?!? Well that was unexpected. I thought the time for that had passed. And what about Sassy?!?
  • Okay... WITH BEARD IN A THREE WAY?!?
  • Oh. Okay. That's better.
  • I swear, Brendan Hunt is about as fearless an actor as there is.
  • Isaac is never really ridiculous, even when doing ridiculous things.
  • Okay... if Nate had to come back, I'm glad they at least didn't give him back his coaching job. That would have been awful.
  • See, it's little moments like Jamie putting extra money in Nate's box that shows that his change over three seasons hasn't been superficial. It's intrinsic to his being now.
  • And there it is. Confirmation Ted is not long for London.
  • Trent's book looks a little light? He's been writing all season!
  • Oh Roy. You need the Diamond Dogs badly.
  • WHO THEY ARE HIRING TO REPLACE TED?!? WOULDN'T THAT BE ROY?!??
  • Boy. Rebecca has a total point. She doesn't really need the club any more. It's served her purpose. Except... hasn't it come to mean so much more than that? But for two billion dollars, maybe that's money too tempting not to take.
  • Lord. It makes sense that they would do a musical good bye for Ted, but this? It's bordering on annoying.
  • Dani really had wasted potential this season. But you could say the same about most of the players. Except Jamie. And possibly Colin.
  • Jamie doesn't belong with Keeley any more. Even though he's changed into somebody who deserves her.
  • Rebecca's mom is incredibly self-unaware. I don't get her character. Really could have done without this diversion when Rebecca finding happiness after having finally overcome Rupert.
  • Baz, Jeremy, and Paul could have been such one-note background characters if not for Beard After Hours where they gave us a bit more to work with.
  • And now I want a beer.
  • Okay. This is actually charming as hell... Roy and Jamie.
  • Well, it WAS.
  • What's so heartbreaking about Rebecca's conversation with Ted is that she knows he wouldn't change his mind before she asks him to. But she had to try. Ted changed all their lives. And hers more than most. Why would she want that to end? But of course it has to if she's to go on and find her own way towards being happy.
  • Boys will be boys. And neither of them learned a thing. Well, on some things.
  • Sorry. This was a sweet scene, but Nate still hasn't redeemed himself. I honestly don't think that he ever could. What he did was so horrific that he just doesn't deserve the grace he's being given. They took it too far.
  • I do like that they didn't make Ted overly-goofy this time. It's a serious situation he's in, and to go overboard with bad puns and folksey Tedisms would diminish it.
  • Okay. Showing the older couple once again at a Richmond match is an incredibly sweet gift towards fans of the show who remember them and their sweet story.
  • So some guy is taking advantage of the ticket always reserved for Roy Kent even though Roy no longer needs it! Ha! But wait... is that the guy Colin was with earlier?
  • Wait... who is the couple at the ticket window who says that he was stared at like an absolute psychopath? Surely they must have appeared before? But when?
  • Whether or not Ted ends up with his ex-wife or not... I think her relationship with her old marriage counselor is on thin ice.
  • SHARON!!! Oh how I've missed her. I love love loved Dr. Fieldstone last season.
  • Roy wanting to be a Diamond Dog is his character arc, I guess?
  • "I'm still me." Oh God. Don't ever change, Roy! We love you just the way you are!
  • Ruff ruff.
  • Oh Sassy. You're the best.
  • Barbara is Coach-Beard-level-weird. But not in a good way. She's just... weird.
  • Zoraeux (formerly Van Damme) is now Zorro?!?
  • LOL. "Richmond seems to be crying!" Poor Jan Maas!
  • Dr. Jacob is an asshole. So, yeah, that's not going to last.
  • Strange that Zorro, who was unstoppable last time has let two goals slip past.
  • Jamie's reading a book?!?
  • Okay. Colin keeping his piece of the "believe" sign with him while he plays is pretty great.
  • Awww, teamwork. And they can believe again!
  • Isaac gets his moment. And deserves it. That was nice.
  • Okay, now I really need to know who the guy was who got hit!
  • Rupert going full-on psychopath at least lets everybody finally know who he really is.
  • Oh look! George's balls... Liam and Noel... have made an appearance! LOL. Another moment for fans of the show.
  • Interesting to note that both of Rupert's coaches were coaches at Richmond first.
  • Aww, Jamie willingly being a distraction play pretty much completes his arc, I think.
  • Okay, that was Colin's boyfriend who got the Winona Judd ticket. AND Colin got to have that moment he's been dreaming of. That was nice.
  • Aww. Rebecca selling her 49% to the fans was the perfect solution.
  • Ted using Apple Pay! Nice! A win for the sponsor (and network).
  • And the ussie guy is back! Classic.
  • If you freeze-frame, you get some closure on a few side-characters here.
  • Those are real tears for Hannah Waddingham. And can you blame her? The best acting job she will probably ever have.
  • Yeah, Coach Beard ain't going to leave.
  • Annnnnd... being right has never felt so satisfying.
  • Willis. Willis Beard. That works.
  • Oh boy. I was waiting for Rebecca's Man from Amsterdam to show up again. Well isn't that perfect. UPDATE: And he showed up at the barbecue with her, so they are definitely together. Gezellig!
  • Well, yeah. It would be absurd for anybody except Roy Kent to manage the club.
  • So... wait... Sam ended up playing for the Nigerian league after all?
  • Jamie having a moment with his horrific dad is a nice moment for him. Maybe a stint in rehab was what he needed to not be so awful?
  • Mae bought quite a stake in Richmond there!
  • "Trent Crimm... with a very brief foreward by Roy Kent." LOL.
  • GIRL POWER!
  • Dr. Fieldstone is back with Richmond. Great.
  • So Nate is a coach again. Yikes.
  • Interesting to note... it looks like Nate was using a gold paint to heal the Richmond sign, which means he was practicing kintsugi (the Japanese method of repairing broken things with gold to make them more valuable than they were before they were broken)... quite the metaphor.
  • Dani still in his throuple, I see...
  • Okay. It took me a second... but the couple with the large man and a baby at the wedding is the couple from Beard After Hours! Since the guy essentially saved Beard's life, it makes sense that they would be at his wedding.
  • Wait... Ted didn't fly back for the wedding? That seems... wrong.
  • So... are Ted and his ex-wife back together then?
  • The End.
  • (Though there is absolutely NO REASON AT ALL that the show couldn't continue as Roy Kent or AFC Richmond or whatever. NONE!

Well, the end was as good as it could have been, I guess. Especially for Rebecca, as I am very happy that she finally found the guy who makes her feel like she's been struck by lightning! Her moment at the airport is hands-down my favorite moment of the finale...

Rebecca and Her Amsterdam Guy Meet Again

Rebecca and Her Amsterdam Guy Meet Again

Rebecca and Her Amsterdam Guy Meet Again

Rebecca and Her Amsterdam Guy Meet Again

Rebecca and Her Amsterdam Guy Meet Again

Rebecca and Her Amsterdam Guy Meet Again

Rebecca and Her Amsterdam Guy Meet Again

Well, I don't know what else to say. Except I hope the show comes back... in whatever form it can... and this isn't the end...

Rebecca and Her Amsterdam Guy Meet Again

See ya 'round, Ted.

UPDATE: I still don't know who these people are?

UPDATE UPDATE: As noted in the comments (and on Facebook), that's John... the guy that Rebecca dated who didn't make her feel like she was struck by lightning!

The Mystery Couple

The Mystery Couple

   

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