I may be dealing with some very upset cats now that Daylight Saving Time has ended, but fear not... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• MEME! One of my all-time favorite memes... if not my most favorite... is the "How do you do, fellow kids?" meme (taken from 30 Rock) by Steve Buscemi. This year for Halloween he went AS HIS OWN MEME, and it's glorious...
And if, somehow, you've never seen the original context for this meme... here you go!
I've always been a fan of Steve Buscemi. The guy ran to Ground Zero after the 9-11 terrorist attacks to search for survivors. He was a firefighter before becoming an actor and wanted to help out. He's had my respect ever since. On top of that he's a great actor. Every time he pops up, you know his part is going to be interesting... or hilarious.
• MATH DUEL, FIGHT! I am not a mathematician. I just don't have the headspace to get into the maths is requires. But the history of mathematics is something I absolutely love. Most all the discoveries and advancements made have some fascinating and highly entertaining stories around them. The Veritasium YouTube channel excels at bringing these stories to life in a way that's interesting even if you have no idea about the maths. This new one is really good...
I mean... come on. There's always been drama since the dawn of humanity. There's drama in The Bible, for heaven's sake. But back before the internet and telephones, it was some truly bizarre shit. And I love it!
• 80's TV! I love love love Acapulco on Apple TV+. This is a "behind-the-scenes" video that gives you a taste of what the show is about...
It's actually a sequel (of sorts) to the movie How To Be a Latin Lover, but you don't need to have seen it in order to enjoy this series. Highly recommended.
• Pink! I went to watch The Wheel of Time on Amazon Prime Video only to find out it's yet another freakin' "zero" non-episode. Then I saw Amazon was recommending a movie I never heard of called Touch of Pink. And it's truly bizarre. Jimi Mistry plays a gay guy who escaped his traditional Muslim family in Toronto by moving to London, England. He's in a relationship there and their lives are thrown into disarray when his conservative mother comes to visit. What makes it different than dozens of other movies following this formula is that Jimi Mistry has an imaginary friend... who is CARY GRANT?!? Played by Kyle MacLachlan?!? It's actually kinda charming, and Jimi's mom is fantastic...
But here's the real surprise.... as I was watching I was all "What the heck ever happened to Jimi Mistry?" Turns out he fell in love with his dance partner from an appearance on Strictly Come Dancing and they moved to the countryside to become farmers! The guy hasn't done any acting since 2015! Hope he's happy in his life away from our screens and televisions.
• Alexa Say What? Why are we constantly settling for crappy apps that we pay for? All I wanted was to listen to the Kylie Minogue track Better the Devil You Know when I got home. I don't know much about her, but I love this one song. I had INXS on in my car, and it reminded me of the rumor that the Kylie track was about Michael Hutchence. So I tell Alexa to play it when I walk in the door. Instead of just playing the song I want, it starts playing... well... SOMETHING. I'm guessing it's some kind of remix or whatnot, but since the Amazon Alexa app is 100% SHIT, you can't even read what the hell it's playing...
After yelling different ways (ORIGINAL! LIVE! OLD VERSION!) I finally just play it via the YouTube music video on my phone. Does anybody on Amazon's dev team actually use their own app? Because surely they would notice this, right?
• SCIENCE! So the reason I hate broccoli, cauliflower, and Brussel sprouts can be explained by actial science! Bitter salad greens like arugula and kale are awful to me. And now we know why. Probably the same thing that makes some people think that cilantro tastes like soap?
• Pro! What happens when Apple stops treating the MacBook Pro as a vanity project and actually builds something that has what professionals need to get real work done...
I've been waiting for this for nearly a decade.
And now back to our regular Day Light Saved programming...
A new era may be dawning, but some things will never change... because an all new Q&A Edition of Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• Does the stair shelf you built for your cats work?
Yep! No falls since I installed it! Jenny has never been a banister girl, so she just walks along it on occasion. But Jake still lays up there all the time. Especially in the Summer when the sun shines on it. Since the catwalk I built adds a couple inches to the width, he's a lot more comfortable laying on it, and like to prop his head on the ledge to watch me and Jenny on the stairs. This, along with the catio, are two of the best things I've made to keep my cats safe and healthy.
• Which meal service do you like best?
Are you talking between Martha Stewart & Marley Spoon and "Hello Fresh," the two I am currently using? That's actually a very good question! Both of them allow you to skip weeks (which I do often because they are expensive) so when I do order, I have been bouncing back and forth. Comparing them in a face-off is actually a good idea for a post. I'll do that sometime in the coming week!
• Japanese knives RUST... they are NOT stainless steel!
Yes. When I reading up on knives, this was brought up many, many times. I made my purchase with my eyes wide open. I expected for rust to appear. But it was still the best knife for what I would be cooking, and I just made a mental note to be sure and wash the blade after every use. And I've never seen rust. Until one day I did! I went into a Google panic, found out the easiest way to deal with it was a Rust Eraser, ordered one, and then found out it wasn't actually rust before the eraser ever arrived. It was a piece of food that I didn't get wiped off and only looked like rust. Since I first got it a year ago, I've never seen a speck of rust and my Rust Eraser hasn't even been taken out of the wrapper. My MAC Chef's Knife and Bread Knife are from their "Professional" series which is "rust resistant" but will still rust if you don't wash and dry them immediately after use. I also have some "Original" series knives which are supposed to rust more easily but, as I said, I've never seen any rust on them because I keep them clean and dry.
• Are you still playing Animal Crossing? Sadly, no. I haven't had time. And I'm scared to look and see how many weeds I'll have to pull in order to get my island back. It's a great game and helped a lot when we were first under quarantine, but I was spending 2+ hours a day playing it and had stop because there were other things I need to do with my time. Might pick it back up one day and just force a time limit so it's not consuming me like it was. Now I've got TikTok for that!
• Where's your Bernie meme?
Ummm... right here!
My house is kept fairly cool in the winter in order to save on heating costs, so Bernie judging me for the temperature... along with Jenny (and Jake, who has clearly turned his back on me)... seems appropriate.
• Are you finally happy now that Biden is president?
No. No I am not. As I have said quite a few times now, Biden was never my guy so I'm not "finally happy" that he's president. I am, however, elated that Trump is no longer president. So there's a big difference there. I won't be truly "happy" until all the career politicians and other assholes who exploit their office for personal gain at the expense of the American people are out of office. I will also be happy once all the pieces of shit who have so severely divided this country are out of office. Alas, what this would take is the American people WAKING THE FUCK UP and realizing that they are being majorly played. But that takes thinking for themselves, and we all know that this is not something we seem to be very good at right now. So... here we are.
• Where's the first place you'll go once you can travel again?
Well, odds are I won't be traveling for work or for volunteering again... at least not any time soon... so it will likely be a personal trip. My guess is it will be one I've been planning for over a year with friends to Maui. We have unfinished business there that we need to take care of. Otherwise? Not entirely sure. It will take a while for the world to get back to normal and I have no idea where my life will be by then.
And that's the last of my answers to questions I've been asked.
The news has been anything but cheerful lately, but hang in there... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• U-S-A! U-S-A-! U-S-A-! But before we get started... this video is two minutes long. I encourage you to take a hard look at every second of it. This is what happens when you call the coronavirus a "Democrat hoax" and don't take things seriously early on. And, for us here in the USA, we're not even at peak coronavirus yet because there are still states which are refusing to do anything because "We don't have many cases here." Well, yes, you dumb-fucks, the whole point is to KEEP IT THAT WAY...
Stay healthy everybody. You could end up breaking a hip or having a heart attack or chopping off a finger only to find that you can't be seen at a hospital because it's been overrun with coronavirus patients. You may consider yourself able to survive COVID-19... and that's great. But your actions could infect others who end up taking up hospital space you might need for other emergencies. It's in everybody's self interest to keep hospitals from piling up. Let's all pray it's not too late already.
• Trump Is Risen! Thank heavens that President Trump actually listened to people who know shit and reevaluated his plan to cancel quarantine by Easter. But before that happened, there was this, and if you close your eyes...
God only brought one guy back from the dead on Easter. Trump is here to bring back the whole economy on Easter 2020. Enjoy this clip (possibly, like, the best ever), share and be sure to subscribe to Making Podcasts Great Again (@TrumpPod) - new every week! pic.twitter.com/aUifVWRzfh
• Warz! If you don't know who Max Brooks is, you really should. His book World War Z is sublime apocalyptic zombie-fiction which reads so realistically because his research into pandemics was brutally extensive. He's so well-studied and important to the field of disaster preparedness that he has lectured at the U.S. Navy War College, for heaven's sake. Which is why his viewpoint on current events is worth noting: 'All Of This Panic Could Have Been Prevented': Author Max Brooks On COVID-19. This is some scary shit, and goes to show just how buffoonish the Trump Administration's handling of a crisis of this magnitude has really screwed us.
• ACCESS! Just in case you aren't watching Star Trek: Picard... and you absolutely should be... here's your chance to do so for free. I did not like Star Trek: Next Generation that much, but am loving Picard. I loved Star Trek: Discovery even more (especially the first season), and this freebie unlocks all of CBS All Access, so you can take a look at that one as well!
• Live! There was a meme running through Facebook where you are asked if you can name a band you've seen live for every letter of the alphabet and one that starts with a number. I did pretty good...
# - (The) 1975
A - a-ha
B - B-52's
C - Cheap Trick
D - Depeche Mode
E - Erasure
F - Foster the People
G - Green River
H - Heart
I - Idol, Billy
J - James, Etta
K - Ke$ha
L - (The) Local Strangers
M - Matt & Kim
N - Nirvana
O - Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
P - Pet Shop Boys
Q - Queens of the Stone Age
R - Rogers, Nile (and Chic)
S - (The) Shore
T - Thompson Twins
U - Ure, Midge
V - (The) Vapors
W - Wrabel
Y - Yanni
Z - ZZ Top
Many of these letters could have had multiple answers. I'm fairly certain I saw at least one band with a name starting with "X"... especially some of those indy bands that were playing during the whole "grunge" movement in Seattle when I was hitting the clubs... I just can't think of any.
• Museum Project! People are getting way creative in finding ways to spend their quarantine time. One of my absolute favorites are those who are recreating famous paintings. Some of them are absolute gold, and there's a terrific Instagram feed where they showcase some of the best ones...
A lot of creative use of toilet paper in that Insty-feed!
And there have also been some professional reimaginings that are absolutely sublime. My favorites by a wide margin are those that popped up by Dutch photographer Jenny Boot. Here is Pearl inspired by Vermeer's Girl with a Pearl Earring (housed at Museum Mauritshuis in The Hague)...
• Disneyland-ish? It's not just fine art which is being recreated while people are in quarantine... people are recreating Disneyland and Walt Disney World rides at home! Some of them are just beyond cool...
Yo ho yo ho a quarantine’s life for me! My family’s Disneyland Staycation! — Brooke (@Brookie_disney) March 20, 2020
I guess if you can't visit in person, this is the next best thing? Kudos to those who are using their alone-time to be so creative!
Back in the late 80s when my friend Doug and I were in Kauai, we looked at a map (yes, this was before Google Maps because I'm old) and saw a massive beach on the Western side of the island called "Barking Sands" and decided to go. Little did we know that Barking Sands Beach is a part of the Barking Sands Naval Base, home of the Pacific Missile Range Facility. We were (of course) halted at a fence and told to turn around and vacate the premises. Then were told that there was a public beach north of the facility if we wanted to go there. It was called "Polihale Beach" and we decided it was better than nothing after having driven all the way across the island.
If you look at it on a map, you can see what the deal was...
Map From Google Maps
Problem was... our map was pretty vague about the area. We ended up taking a very wrong turn and ended up headed inland. When we tried to turn around using a drive into a sugar cane field, we were met by a guy with a gun who told us to get the hell off his property.
And so we did. Quickly.
Just one of many bizarre misadventures we we got into on that trip.
Once we got back to the road we needed to be on, we eventually spotted a road that looked like it maybe kinda possibly wouldn't get us shot... so we headed to the beach. This was an undeveloped off-the-beaten-path situation, so once we saw water we just pulled off the road and parked in an area where it looked like we might be out of the way.
This Google Maps satellite image may or may not be where we actually ended up, but you can get an idea of what I'm talking about...
Map From Google Maps
After parking, we headed to the beach.
Just as we turned the corner, we ran across a couple who had attempted to drive their rental SUV ONTO THE BEACH.
Needless to say, they immediately became stuck. Then they made things worse by slamming down on the gas pedal, which only dug the car deeper into the sand...
Map From Google Maps
Apparently they didn't get the memo on why you don't want to drive on sand with a vehicle not designed for that purpose.
As we approached we saw that a woman was seated in the passenger side of the SUV fuming. A man was attempting to dig it out with a frisbee. A futile effort if there ever was one, because the SUV was sunk up to the floorboards. The only way he was ever going to get off that beach would be if somebody parked off the beach with a winch and pulled him off of it.
As we passed, the guy looks up at us and says "Hell of a day, isn't it?" And Doug was all "Um. Yeah." Because the only thing going through both of our heads was how we were going to escape if this guy asked us to help him dig his car out. But he never did. So we walked up the beach, which was quite nice. Beautiful golden sand with turquoise waters and hardly any people...
One of the (many) things I love about Google Maps is that you can literally pinpoint where I took the above shot...
Satellite View From Google Maps
It's not a great beach for swimming thanks to the waves, which were rough, but pretty to look at otherwise...
I did not take a photo of the guy digging his SUV out. This was before the days of being able to sneak a shot with a mobile phone, and I really didn't want him to get pissed at me for exploiting his misfortune if I were caught... so I restrained myself. In the shot above, he is just to the left out of frame.
Wow. These shots I took really are from the 80's. Just look at that film grain when I zoom in...
Anyway... After twenty minutes of bumming around, we walked back to our jeep. The guy was still there attempting to dig the SUV out. A part of me wanted to ask if we should call a tow truck for him when we got back to civilization, but I didn't want him getting more pissed than he already was. Instead we took a long loop around him. We were on vacation, after all. If he had shouted out to us as we walked by, we absolutely would have called AAA for him (or whatever) but, well, you know...
Once we made it back and climbed into the jeep, Doug turned to me and said "Hell of a day, isn't it?" And then we both laughed our asses off because we're mean that way. But, hey, at least we know better than to try and drive in sand, amirite?
Fast forward to a couple years later. The movie Total Recall had just come out. It featured a scene where Arnold Schwarzenegger wakes up in a cab being driven by a robot. After some confusion as to how he got there, the Johnny Cab robot says "Hell of a day, isn't it?"...
I don't know if Doug was with me in the theater when I saw Total Recall. I'd like to think that he was. He probably was. Or maybe he wasn't and I talked to him about it later after we had both seen it. I honestly don't remember. What I DO remember is laughing my ass off when Johnny Cab said "Hell of a day, isn't it?" Because that's exactly how the guy digging out his car said it. The people in the theater probably thought I was insane, but it was damn funny in a "You Had To Be There" kind of way.
Over the years, every once in a while when we saw each other, one of us would inevitably say "Hell of a day, isn't it?".
Last week I ran across a story about a car that had been driven out onto the beach, then abandoned in the face of Hurricane Dorian because it got stuck...
After it was discovered, social media happened. Because of course it did. Then #JeepWatch2019 took over. The meme was popping up everywhere...
Now, as you can imagine, the minute I saw this my first instinct was to create my own meme and text it to Doug...
That's one of the worst things there is, isn't it? Having a shared experience that only one other person on earth could possibly relate to... but for them to no longer be around to share it with? Not even the guy who was trying to dig his SUV out of the sand with a frisbee that day can possibly know what it that moment was to us. My writing this long-ass blog entry can explain what happened, but it's not the same as having lived through it. There was only the two of us.
And now there's just one of us.
And while it's a funny memory for me... knowing that I will never again have that one person to laugh about it with is a weight that came crashing down on my head like a ton of bricks. And it's weird, isn't it? How I never heard about a car getting stuck on a beach when it could have meant something hilarious... but now that it can't, I'm probably going to be hearing about it happening all the time? Because isn't that the way these things go? Maybe it's just how The Universe likes to dick with us. Or maybe it's how our brains like to dick with us by noticing things only after they've become more hurtful than hilarious? Heaven only knows that a Google Image Seach for "Car Stuck on Beach" sure turns up a lot of photos of it happening.
Today I found out that they were finally able to rescue that SUV from the beach after the hurricane passed. I still have no idea how the guy at Polihale Beach, Kauai ever managed to get his SUV off the beach.
Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? All the time.
On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? 0
The person you would never want to meet? President Trump.
What is your favorite word? Exacerbate.
If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Douglas fir.
When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? I really need to clean this mirror.
What shirt are you wearing? Orange T-shirt.
What do you label yourself as? Human.
Bright room or dark room? Bright room to work. Dark room to sleep.
What were you doing at midnight last night? Watching Bonding on Netflix.
Favorite age you've been so far? 36.
Who told you they loved you last? My sister.
Your worst enemy? Time.
What is your current desktop picture? Yosemite.
Do you like someone? I like lots of people.
The last song you listened to?Stop Kicking My Heart Around by Dead or Alive.
You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? If I said his name the Secret Service would probably arrest me.
Who would you really like to just punch in the face? If I said his name the Secret Service would probably arrest me.
If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? I would never have a "slave."
What is your best physical attribute? Fingerprints.
If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? I'd look bad. I'd eat pizza.
Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? I give good kitty belly rubs.
What is one unique thing you're afraid of? My cats getting hurt.
You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Deep-fried grilled cheese.
You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Lumber for my kitchen remodel.
You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? India.
An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. What's it gonna be? Jägermeister.
You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Be kind. Or treat others as you would want to be treated, which is pretty much the same thing.
What is your favorite expletive? Fuck.
Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the one thing you're going to save from that blazing inferno? Jake's favorite toy, Mufasa the Lion.
You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Listening to Sam Smith "sing" literally anything.
You got kicked out of the country. But you can move to anywhere else in the world! Edinburgh, Scotland.
Death appears. He offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? My mom.
What was your last dream about? I don't dream.
Are you a good...[insert anything you'd like here]? Please don't insert anything into me.
Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Yes.
Have you ever built a snowman? I'm from Central Washington. Of course I have.
What is the color of your socks? Always all white.
What type of music do you like? 80's Pop.
Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Depends on where I am. Usually sunsets, especially at a beach facing West. But maybe sunrises if I'm facing East on top of Haleakala or something.
What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Light Chocolate
What football team do you support? I don't do football.
Do you have any scars? Yes. On my left thumb.
What do you want to be when you graduate? An astronaut.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? My age.
Are you reliable? To a fault, yes.
If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? Got any stock tips?
Do you hold grudges? I try not to, but if the offense is great enough I hold onto that fucker until I die.
If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? Puppygator.
What is the most unusual conversation you've ever had? It was with my ex-girlfriend.
Are you a good liar? Not even a little bit. Easier to just tell the truth.
How long could you go without talking? If I could still text or email? The rest of my life.
What has been you worst haircut/style? Bowl cut.
Have you ever baked your own cake? Um. Yeah.
Can you do any accents other than your own? Not convincingly.
What do you like on your toast? Loads of butter and a little seedless strawberry jam.
What is the last thing you drew a picture of? A window.
What would be you dream car? 2019 Corvette Stingray Z51 3LT Performance Package in Long Beach Red.
Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. No.
Do you believe in aliens? Sure.
Do you often read your horoscope? Never.
What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? W.
Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dragons.
What do you think about babies? They're okay if I can give them back after a few minutes.
Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. Do you really have nothing better to do than answer these 65 random questions?
Your ex's car is on the side of the road, on fire. What do you do? Depends on the ex. For most of them I would absolutely stop and help out. I'd be an asshole not to, regardless of how it ended. For one of them though? Probably throw gasoline on it.
Your best friend tells you she is pregnant. What is your reaction? Uhhh... congratulations?
When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face? Yesterday afternoon. It was a stranger. She was being an ass without cause.
What is the last thing you spent money on? Bathroom fixtures at Home Depot. All my money goes to Home Depot now, it seems.
Do you think you gained or lost weight this past month? Lost.
Crunchy or Puffy Cheetos? Puffy.
The first person on your friends list just called you a bitch. What do you do? Move them to the bottom of my friends list. If I actually was being a bitch, then I would still move them to the bottom of my friend's list... I'd just feel a little bad about it.
Congratulations! You just had a son. What’s his name? Jake
Congratulations! You just had a daughter. What’s her name? Olivia
What are you craving right now? A Qdoba burrito.
What was the last thing you cried about? Something I shouldn't have.
When you buy something and your change is 2 cents, do you keep it or tell the cashier to keep it? If it's being handed to me, I take it and see if there's a penny tray to dump it in. Under no circumstances would I say "keep it" for that tiny of an amount.
What color is your tissue box? Blue and grey.
Do you have a ceiling fan in your bedroom, and if so, is there dust on that fan? I do not, but I really wish I did.
What was the last voicemail you received about? Somebody confirming a meeting for next year.
Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook? Oh hell yes.
Scariest thing you've experienced in the last year? Nearly running into a car that was stopped in the middle of a pitch-black highway while driving from Portland, ME to Boston, MA. I still have flashbacks that terrify me.
Do you wear a name tag at work? Nope.
What kind of car do you want? Porsche Convertible. Or a Corvette. The right Corvette.
What do you order when you go to Burger King? Seeing as how I loathe their food and swore years ago I would never step foot in another one? N-o-t-h-i-n-g-! Maybe a lemonade. Fries, if I'm desperate... even though they can't hold a candle to McFries.
Have you ever had a garage sale? Nope.
What color is your cell phone? Black in a blue case
What is the last alcoholic beverage you had? A beer.
Are you happy right now? Not as much as I'd like to be... but it's okay.
Who came over to your house last? A friend of a friend.
Do you drink beer? Yes. Not so much in the winter, but I love it in the summer.
Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted? No.
What is your favorite key on your key chain? One I should have discarded long ago, but can't for some reason.
What was the last movie you watched at home?Ant-Man. Still love it.
What is in your pocket? A key. A quarter.
Who introduced you to your bf/gf/husband/wife? My last one? I introduced myself.
Where do you hurt? All over. Seriously
Has someone ever made you a build a bear? No, but I've made one for somebody else.
What's something fun you did today? Painted a wall.
What is your favorite aisle at Target? Video games.
When is your birthday? March 24.
Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror? Nope.
How many states in the US have you been to? All but one
What kind of milk do you drink? Not-Fat... or perhap almond milk.
Another meme. It's like 2004 all over again up in here.
Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. When I first watched Field of Dreams I remember being haunted by it for days. The film came completely out of left field (heh heh) and I couldn't stop thinking about how weird and wonderful it was. It didn't hurt that it had epic performances by James Earl Jones, Kevin Costner, and Amy Madigan.
Talk about your first kiss. Her hair smelled like green apple shampoo. Her lips were covered in strawberry-flavored Lip Smackers. We were eating lunch outside and the air smelled like the banana she was eating. I was having my first kiss in the middle of a fruit salad.
Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for. She liked being adventurous and creative and I couldn't get enough of her. I didn't need or desire anything outside the world we created for ourselves. I was consumed by her fire and felt alive in a way I didn't think possible. It ended badly. Something that intense couldn't have ended any other way.
Talk about the thing you regret most so far. Any time I lashed out in anger... regardless of whether it was deserved or not. Giving in to hatred never improves things for anybody... especially yourself.
Talk about the best birthday you've had. My 30th. It was so good that I haven't felt the need to celebrate my birthday ever since.
Talk about the worst birthday you've had. The one where I was told one of my closest friends had died.
Talk about your biggest insecurity. Trust. Once you've been screwed over... badly... it's really difficult to trust people again.
Talk about the thing you are most proud of. Being a hard worker who gives 110% to everything I take on.
Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. My tattoos. I regret that I didn't start getting inked much earlier in life.
Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had. Nothing comes to mind. I guess big fights are not my thing.
Talk about the best dream you've ever had. I don't dream. I don't know that I ever have.
Talk about the worst dream you've ever had. It's not that I dream and forget that I had been dreaming, it's that I don't dream. At least not like I understand everybody else experiences dreaming.
Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. I was in New Orleans... seventeen years old and completely unsupervised. A lot of first times happened that trip. She picked me up in the bar of my hotel after I acted all cool and bought her a drink late in the evening. She was at least five years older than me... perhaps ten years older than me... but that didn't stop me from chatting her up. To this day I think she was a working girl who felt sorry for me being alone in a strange city. She couldn't get a client and had nothing better to do so she did me. Or maybe her place was being fumigated and she couldn't afford a hotel room of her own. Her name (working name?) was Cyndi. She said I could call her Cyn. The irony is not lost on me.
Talk about a vacation. I do that a lot on this blog. I don't know what I might ad. Except to say I am dying to vacation in India. After visiting India and Antarctica, I can probably die happy.
Talk about the time you were most content in life. The fact that I am never content is what keeps me going.
Talk about the best party you've ever been to. Any party my sister throws. Always fun and she invites the best people.
Talk about someone you want to be friends with. Jimmy Fallon seems like he'd be an entertaining friend to have on your quick-dial list. He's always doing something interesting.
Talk about something that happened in elementary school. I loved my elementary school teachers, and they had a big influence on my formative years. Mrs. Beck in kindergarten was sweet and kind in a way that only somebody with infinite patience dealing with a kindergarten class can be. My first grade teacher, Mrs. Jones, has to be one of the most dedicated teachers I've ever encountered. She spent massive amounts of time outside of class (not to mention loads of personal money) caring for her students, and became a good family friend for many years. Mrs. Green, my second-grade teacher was fanatical about learning and pushed students to their limits. Despite a bit of dyslexia, I was an avid reader, and I remember very well Mrs. Green giving me book after book to push my reading comprehension and vocabulary. Mrs. Cummings in third grade... Mrs. Kenoyer in 4th grade... both amazing as well. I was very lucky.
Talk about something that happened in middle school. I was not a fan of middle school because I was incredibly bored throughout. I remember almost nothing from this time of my life.
Talk about something that happened in high school. High school was both the best of times and the worst of times. I liked my classes and teachers okay. I had plenty of friends. I was fortunate that my school provided access to early personal computers, which would change my life. I remember many good times. But it felt as though every day was spent wanting to get the hell out and I'm not quite sure why. I just didn't want to be there, felt out of place, and longed for graduation even though I had no clue as to what I wanted to do afterwards. For whatever reason, high school was something I didn't enjoy, but endured, even though I really have no reason to feel that way.
Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I have turned down more than one job because it conflicted with my personal convictions or didn't seem compatible with where I was at in life. The biggest was turning down a job at Microsoft. Which sounds like sheer stupidity, but it didn't feel right at all and actually ended up being a good thing since the project I would have been joining went on to be a massive failure.
Talk about your worst fear. That I won't be around when somebody I care about most needs me. It's a common fear for people who travel a lot, I'm told.
Talk about a time someone turned you down. I asked somebody I was seeing if she wanted to go to Cabo with me. She turned me down... but only after she initially agreed and I had bought tickets. This was back at a time where I most definitely didn't have money to be tossing away like that, and the thought of going on a romantic vacation by myself was too big a waste. I ended up selling the tickets to a friend, but still lost money because I had to pay a reticketing fee. I still haven't been to Cabo, despite there being a Hard Rock there for many years, because I never got over being burned.
Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. I maintain the most romantic gesture I've ever known was my girlfriend showing up at the airport before my flight so she could tell me goodbye for a second time that day... and to give me a new pair of shoelaces. She had noticed mine were looking a bit worn and ragged. By paying attention to such small details in my life, she made me feel as if she really cared about me.
Talk about an ex-best friend. Not that they were a "best" friend... but a close friend I trusted ended up being complete fiction and not at all who they made themselves out to be. It was horrible to have been lied to, lied about, and betrayed by somebody you considered a "friend," and the experience has made me very wary about trusting people ever since.
Talk about things you do when you're sick. Stay in bed as long and often as possible. And take every over-the-counter drug I can find in the hopes they'll fix whatever is wrong with me.
Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body. I am a sucker for a beautiful smile. And dark hair.
Talk about your fetishes. I had many, but that's all in the past. Mostly.
Talk about what turns you on. Honesty and hard work.
Talk about what turns you off. Lying and slothfulness.
Talk about what you think death is like. The beginning of something much stranger.
Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. My entire childhood felt like it was leading up to a vacation at Disneyland. And I remember a great deal about being there once we finally got there, despite it being a long, long time ago. Disneyland was still using the A-B-C-D-E ticket concept, for heavens sake! The rides, while fairly tame by today's standards, were absolute magic at the time... even though so many of the ones that left the biggest impression are long gone... Adventures Through Inner Space with that big eyeball at the end... America Sings with that massive cast of animatronic characters... CircleVision Theater... Skyway between Tomorrowland and Fantasyland... I remember them all.
Talk about what you do when you are sad. Watch the last ten minutes of the movie Millions or listen to music I like.
Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured. Having kidney stones is about the most painful thing you can endure outside of childbirth... or so I'm told.
Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Buying things I won't ever use.
Talk about your guilty pleasures. The 80's... in music, movies, and culture. I'm truly a child of that era, and slipping back to the things that made it such a great time to be alive is about the best guilty pleasure I could have.
Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. She ended up screwing me over in the worst possible way, but it was a beautiful train wreck that I don't entirely regret. I've certainly never felt that "high" in love again, so I guess the agony of thinking I was in love with her was worth it? I honestly don't know. Upon reflection, it wasn't "real" love at all. Probably more like lust wrapped in a blanket of desperation.
Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. Hmmm... People are People, by Depeche Mode seems the obvious choice.
Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier. I wish I had stopped giving a shit about other people's opinions of me much, much earlier in life. I also wish I had known that fear is a shackle that's avoidable once you realize that worrying about something is rarely worth it. If you worry about something happening and it doesn't, you worried for nothing. If you worry about something happening and it does happen, then your worrying did nothing to stop it. It takes years of practice to get over worrying, but it's time well spent, and will change your life.
Talk about the end of something in your life. Well, this is the end of this meme that's gone on for way too long now...