Be sure all loose items are securely stored under your seat and remember there's no flash photography, because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Halloween! 'Tis the season for "Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween Party" once again. Taking place after the normal park hours, the party has a special parade "Boo to You!" and a really nice fireworks show in addition to trick-or-treating throughout the Magic Kingdom park...

It seemed a lot more crowded than the last time I did Mickey's Halloween, with the trick-or-treat lines being absurdly long. So totally not worth waiting 15-20 minutes for a handful of the cheap candy they're handing out.

   
• Star Tours! The last time I was in Orlando I didn't have time to do the whole Disney thang, so I missed seeing the "new and improved" Star Tours ride. Much to my surprise, it actually is "new and improved!"...

You get a completely randomized experience every time you ride. Two different openings (Darth Vader and Millennium Falcon), three different adventures (Kashyyyk, Hoth, and Tatooine), and three different endings (Coruscant, Naboo, and Death Star 2)... which makes 54 different possible combinations. I kept riding until I saw all the pieces I wanted to see. The only two I didn't experience were the pod race on Tatooine and the Trade Federation battle on Naboo (since I don't give a flying fuck about the shitty Star Wars prequels. Overall, very well done and a lot of fun!

   
• Safari! Even though I went on the much more extensive and interesting "Wild Africa Trek" through the Animal Kingdom savanna, I still managed to get in a ride on the canned "Kilimanjaro Safari" they offer. Much to my surprise, the "ride" has changed. No longer is there a story element about chasing poachers and rescuing a baby elephant... that's all gone! Instead, it's "just a safari" where you may (or may not) see many interesting animals. The poaching story was kind of lame, so this is probably a smart move... but it was still kind of shocking that the ride wasn't the way I remembered it.

   
• Beignets! No trip to Walt Disney World would be complete without a trip to Disney's Port Orleans' Resort for breakfast beignets!

   
• Dining! This trip I was sure to eat at two of my favorite Disney restaurants... both located in their Hollywood Studios park, both of which I highly recommend (assuming you can get reservations or manage to get in without them... they're really popular). First up is the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater restaurant, which simulates an old-time drive-in theater playing crappy old sci-fi movies and tables shaped like cars...

Next up is the 50's Prime Time Cafe, which is set up to look like a house from the 1950's, complete with sassy waitresses bringing out "mom's food" and reminding you to "KEEP YOUR ELBOWS OFF THE TABLE!"

A new restaurant to me this time was "Via Napoli" with authentic Naples pizza. Their White Pizza was amazing, and I will definitely be back...

And, of course, there's always Earl of Sandwich in Downtown Disney, which makes the best sandwich you will ever eat...

It's surprising that I don't gain 50 pounds every time I come here. I spend most of my time eating.

   
• Hunter. One of the best shows nobody ever saw was called Oh Grow Up! which was a short-lived comedy by Alan Ball (of American Beauty, True Blood, and Six Feet Under fame). I was a huge, huge fan, which is why I was very sad to just now learn that Oh Grow Up! lead actor Stephen Dunham died back on September 18th. His character of Hunter Franklin was not an easy role to pull off... but Dunham managed it flawlessly...

Oh how I wish they would honor Dunham by releasing Oh Grow Up! on DVD or even iTunes download!

   
Annnnd... I could probably shoot off another dozen bullets here, but I've got to be able to get caught up on sleep sometime!

This trip to Orlando I ended up staying at Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge... a pricey but very nice hotel that's located directly on the Walt Disney World Resort property.

Meant to compliment Disney's Animal Kingdom theme park, the lodge is an African-inspired masterpiece that has something you won't find in most any other hotel... animals wandering around outside your balcony. Depending on which savanna your room overlooks, you can see giraffes, zebras, okapi, antelope, gazelles, eland, ostrich, and more!

My room in the main lodge (Jambo House) overlooked the "Sunset Savanna" (the other two being "Arusha Savanna" and "Uzima Savanna"). Throughout the day I managed to see all kinds of animals...

The hotel itself is pretty amazing... which is no surprise since it was designed by Peter Dominick, who also designed the Wilderness Lodge. The showpiece of the hotel being the lobby, which is a towering four+ stories...

The standard rooms are not overly-spacious, but they are nicely appointed and comfortable...

ANIMAL KINGDOM LODGE PROS:

• It's Disney. You simply cannot go wrong staying at any of the Disney hotels. From the cheapest "budget" resorts... all the way up to the most expensive "deluxe" resorts... you are assured of clean, comfortable, safe rooms. Not only that, but you get really great perks for staying at the Walt Disney World Resort (extra hours in the parks, free transportation, charging purchases to your room, free room delivery of purchases, and more!).
• It's Beautiful. I still like the design of Disney's Wilderness Lodge best... but the Animal Kingdom Lodge is magnificent. The lobby is a sight to behold with its vaulted ceiling and African theming, and everywhere you look there are fantastic little details that make staying here something special.
• Free WiFi. The Animal Kingdom Lodge offered up FREE(!) WiFi. Sure it wasn't that great... and I was constantly having to connect/disconnect/connect because it stopped working... but it's FREE (just the way God intended) so I can't much complain.
• Savanna Views. Just like you see in the ads, you really do get to look out and see giraffes, zebras, and other animals wandering outside your balcony. It's much cooler than I thought it would be, and you never get tired of watching the wildlife. It's the one thing that puts this hotel in a league of its own amongst the Disney properties.
• Nuts. The "Roasted Nuts with African Spices" they serve at the Victoria Falls Lounge are frickin' amazing. And a total bargain at only $5 a bowl! Could not stop eating them.
• Restaurants. There are two really nice restaurants with excellent Africa-inspired menus... plus a quick-serve restaurant WITH A FALAFEL PITA SANDWICH!! Great choices for vegetarians, or anybody, really.
• Staff. As with all Disney properties, the Animal Kingdom Lodge has been filled with staff that are trained to deliver exceptional service. You really are made to feel welcome and special anytime you interact with them.

ANIMAL KINGDOM LODGE CONS:

• Heinously Expensive. Especially if you want a "Savanna View" to look at animals outside your window. And since that's the entire frickin' point of staying here, it would be silly to purchase a "pool view" or "parking lot view" which you can get at any other hotel for a lot less money.
• Bathroom. I know they are trying to accommodate families by having the double-sink and double mirror OUTSIDE the bathroom... but it's such a pain in the ass. Would it kill them to put ONE of those sinks/mirrors in the bathroom? That's the way a lot of hotels (including the Hard Rock Hotel Orlando) are designed, and it's much better.
• Drums. I am so sick of listening to fucking drums that just the sound of one makes me want to rage. You walk up to the hotel and there's somebody teaching kids how to bang on a fucking drum before you even enter the hotel. Once inside, there's a professional fucking drum performance in the lobby... which would be fantastic, except they invite kids to bang on the fucking drums in-between songs. Trying to have a drink at the bar? A fucking drum parade marches through. Want to go to dinner at one of the amazing restaurants? You guessed it... they give fucking drums to the kids to keep them occupied while they wait for a table... which means you get to listen to fucking drums being played badly as you eat. There are fucking drums being banged in all public spaces at all hours of the day and night. Which means that even if you love drum music (as I used to) you will be so fucking sick and tired of fucking drums that you never want to hear them again.
• Location. The Animal Kingdom Lodge is about as far away from everything Disney as you can possibly get. With the exception of the Animal Kingdom park, which is kinda next door, everything is miles away. You can easily spend 40 minutes (or more) just in travel time to get anywhere... that's NOT including the time you spend waiting for the damn bus.
• The Damn Bus. For whatever reason (but probably the remote location) bus service to/from the Animal Kingdom Lodge is much more erratic and unreliable than other Disney hotels. You'll be standing in 95° heat watching bus after bus go by that's not the bus you need. Want to go to Disney Hollywood Studios? Sorry... there goes the fourth bus to Epcot, but no Hollywood Studios for you. Want to go back to your hotel? Sorry... there's the third bus for Disney's Pop Century Resort, but none for Animal Kingdom Lodge. This happened all the fucking time. And if you're at the "main" lodge, Jambo House, you may get bypassed altogether because the bus was filled up at the "vacation club annex" lodge, Kudani Village, which is the first stop. This is a serious problem that I haven't experienced to this horrible extreme at any of the other Disney hotels.

SUMMARY:

While it isn't going to dethrone Disney's Wilderness Lodge as my favorite Walt Disney World resort property, it comes very, very close. The Animal Kingdom Lodge with its cool Savanna views offers a unique experience that I really enjoyed, and would be happy to experience again (despite some of the cons that go along with staying here). Highly recommended if you don't mind spending huge sums of money.

Because of my many, many trips to Orlando, I've been to Walt Disney World eleventy bajillion times. Which means I'm pretty bored with the place. Sure "Pirates of the Caribbean" is great the first five times you ride it... but the twenty-fifth? Not even adding Johnny Depp can fix that. But it's the place everybody wants to go, so it's the place I usually end up.

Which means I'm always looking for something new and interesting to do at the Disney Parks. Usually it's by staying in a Disney hotel I've never stayed at before... but every once in a while there's something truly new and interesting to do.

Enter the Wild Africa Trek in Animal Kingdom, which lets you explore the "African savanna" there in an entirely different way from the "Kilimanjaro Safaris" you'd normally take...

You know it's going to be different once they suit you up in a safety harness. This allows them to clip you to a track so you don't fall to your death when leaning over a cliff to see hungry hungry hippos up close and personal...

But the main reason for the safety harnesses (and the highlight of the trek) is a "rope bridge walk" which takes you high over the forest...

Being a Disney experience, it's all incredibly safe... but, being a Disney experience, they try to give the appearance that your trek is fraught with danger. Some of the wood boards on the bridge are broken or just plain missing...

And, as if that weren't enough "danger" for you, they walk you over a bunch of crocodiles... just like in an Indiana Jones movie...

The biggest problem with the "Kilimanjaro Safaris" ride that you would normally go on is that you don't get to stop. If animals are hiding, you don't get to stop and wait for them to show up. If you spot a really cool animal on the savannah, you don't get to stop and observe it for a while. Disney has quota of people they need to shove through the ride, so they have to keep moving.

But with the "Wild Africa Trek," it's completely different because they stop the truck and pull over whenever they want. This gives you a much better opportunity to look at the animals roaming around...

Along the way you get to stop at a camp on the savannah to have a snack. A snack that's actually more of a meal...

You get a terrific assortment of Africa-inspired foods (I got the vegetarian meal) and absolutely every bit of it was delicious. If there was a restaurant that was serving this meal, I would totally eat there. Frequently.

Overall, I enjoyed the Wild Africa Trek experience quite a lot. It's fun. It's exciting. It's educational. It's different. It's Disney.

The cost varies depending on whether you are at Disney World during the high season or the low season... and whether there's a special running or not... which means somewhere between $160 and $250 per person. I don't know that I would pay $250... but it's a bargain at $160.

Each trek is limited to 12 people and they have a limited number of treks per day. So... if you are planning to give it a try, you'll definitely want to book ahead to make sure you get in. Here's a link to Disney's website for Wild Africa Trek with the number you can call to book it. You can also visit the "hidden" trek kiosk next to Tuskers Restaurant in Animal Kingdom and take a chance that there's a spot available (get there early!).

As of this writing, the site above is actually kind of crappy in that they don't give you much information. They don't tell you that you need closed-toe shoes (I took boots and was glad to have them)... they don't tell you where to go (Animal Kingdom entrance 1/2 hour before your trek next to the ATM on the right). This is essential info to have, because Disney employees look at you like you're from outer space when you try to ask questions about it.

And now I'm off to have a magical day... working.

The nice thing about having to be in Orlando for work is that at the end of your day you can wander over to Walt Disney World for fireworks...

   

The show was called Halloween Wishes.

Or maybe Halloween Dreams.

Or it could have been Halloween Magic.

Or Magical Halloween Dreams.

Or Dreamy Magical Halloween Wishes maybe?

How about Magical Halloween Dreams and Wishes?

Or perhaps Halloween Wishes for Magical Dreams?

Hell, I don't know. It was Halloween... something. And there was probably Magic, Wishes and Dreams in there, because there's always Magic, Wishes and Dreams stuffed into everything when you're at a Disney park.

And now it's time for me to start wishing for magical dreams... hopefully with some sleep attached.

Tonight will be my last night of refuge on the coast.

Tomorrow morning I bite the bullet and head back to my smokey home. So put on your gas mask... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Five. I stayed up until midnight so I could pre-order my iPhone 5 on Wednesday...

It was precisely the cluster-fuck I knew it would be. Couldn't order at Apple because my AT&T billing address is a PO box and they won't deliver to a PO box. Have no clue as to why I can't enter a separate street address for delivery... but whatever. And so I had to pre-order at AT&T's site, which is an even bigger mess. Every single time you press a button, you have to re-press it dozens of times in order for the site to do anything. Every time you fill out a form, you have to re-fill it out and submit it dozens of times in order for the site to accept the data. This took TWO HOURS AND FIVE MINUTES. Insanity. And I have no idea when I'm even going to get it. I may have stayed up until 2:05am for nothing. I understand that these sites are getting completely slammed by thousands of people... but come on. There has got to be a better way of handling this.

   
• Carrier. Make no mistake. The only reason I renewed with shitty AT&T was because I could grandfather in my unlimited data plan. The very minute that AT&T tells me that I can no longer have unlimited data is the minute that I switch to Verizon. AT&T call quality just keeps getting worse and worse, and now data service is in the shitter as well. In cities like Chicago and Las Vegas, my iPhone is practically useless. Hopefully having 4G-LTE will help in cities where 3G fails, because... damn.

   
• Bacon. In what can only be considered a boon to all humanity, you can now check a star's Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon directly in a Google search...

It never ceases to amaze me how Bacon numbers just keep falling. Mr. Bacon's appearance in X-Men: First Class really chopped a lot of numbers down for younger and up-and-coming stars.

   
• Trek. Speaking of Google... they had a genius interactive doodle for the 46th anniversary of Star Trek last week...

So awesome.

   
• Alcoholic. The news broke that Disney will be offering beer and wine for sale at their new French restaurant in Walt Disney World's "Magic Kingdom." Unsurprisingly, people are losing their shit. They're saying everything from "Walt Disney is turning in his grave!" to "BOYCOTT DISNEY!!" Never mind that the three other Disney World parks (Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, and Epcot) have all been serving alcohol for years... somehow serving it in the Magic Kingdom is going to DESTROY DISNEY WORLD! And never mind that visitors can just get shit-faced in the parking lot before they even enter the park... oh no... WE'RE ALL DOOMED! And never mind that the alcohol Disney's going to be selling at heinous prices is only available in the evening and must be consumed before leaving the restaurant... WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

Give me a break. I am so sick and tired of people going bat-shit crazy over things that will ultimately have -zero- effect on them. Like a glass or two of wine with dinner is suddenly going to turn Walt Disney World into a drunken brawl where kids will have to stumble over hookers and heroin addicts on their way to "It's a Small World." I never thought I'd be saying that there are people too fucking stupid for Disney World, but here we are. Oh well... more beer for me then.

   
Blargh... time to start thinking about my last smoke-free sleep.

I am staying all alone. In a huge house. On a dark street. In rural Georgia.

What's the worst thing I could do right before bedtime? Watch the latest creepy episode of The Walking Dead... which is taking place just 15 minutes from my bedroom, that's what!

Now, I am not one to scare easily. I could sit through a marathon of horror flicks before bedtime and not give it another thought. But tonight every creak in the floorboards... every leaf scuttering down the roof... every branch tapping on the window... every noise in the night... it all added up to make me, well, not scared really... but uneasy.

Needless to say, last night was rough going in the sleep department.

There may not be any real undead wandering around Georgia, but I certainly feel like a zombie today...

   
In other news, LEGO Harry Potter (Years 1-4) for iPhone is pretty sweet. And I don't even like Harry Potter! But I do like the LEGO games (LEGO Star Wars, LEGO Batman, and LEGO Indiana Jones are awesome!). In the game you can play Harry and dozens of other characters you unlock, then run around solving puzzles and collecting LEGO studs to buy stuff. Just like all the other LEGO titles, you can play through each level multiple times as different characters to unlock even more secrets with their special abilities.

The game looks a-m-a-z-i-n-g, taking full advantage of the Retina Display resolution of my iPhone 4. The cut-scenes are all extremely detailed and well-thought out...

Get used to this load-screen, you'll be seeing it a lot.

A lot of work went into this London cut-scene!

LEGO humor in full force: note the Harry Potter mini-fig on his keychain!

The game screens are no less detailed, but you're viewing them from rather far away, so you're not seeing game elements at their fullest. Still, an impressive picture...

Zooming in, you can see the clarity of the hi-res Retina Screen graphics (I'll bet the game looks incredible on the iPad!)...

Despite the fun I'm having with it, there are some problems, however. First of all, the load screen comes up A LOT, and scenes take a while to transfer. This results in a lot of staring at the load screen over and over again. It gets old in a hurry. But the biggest (and only major) offense is the control system. You control characters and interact with objects by dragging your finger across the screen... effectively covering up what you're supposed to be looking at! It's tough to solve puzzles when your finger is obliterating them. It's hard to control Harry when your finger covers him up. It's a heinous oversight that I don't understand. I can only hope that they eventually update and give you the option of controlling things with an on-screen D-pad. It would improve the game 200%.

All-in-all, you can't beat the mind-boggling price of just $4.99. It's a fraction of what you'd pay on the Nintendo DS, Wii, XBox, or Playstation versions! If you have a supported device to play it, LEGO Harry Potter (Years 1-4) is well-worth the download.

I just wish I had the time to actually play it. :-(

   
And lastly...

These "It Gets Better" videos just keep flooring me. The crushing despair, fear, and pain that people go through every day just for being "different" is almost impossible to believe. If we weren't seeing the tragic consequences of the bullying in the news, it would be impossible to believe. I just can't fathom how somebody could intentionally make another human being feel as though their life was worth so little that death is the only option left. It's sickening on a level that makes my heart ache just to listen to it. But we must listen to it, because things have to get better. For all of us.

This video from people at Disney/Pixar is pretty amazing and hopeful...

I wish I wouldn't have to keep wishing that all the bigoted assholes who make this world such a horrible place would hurry up and die so we can have a world I'm not ashamed to live in.

Because, in truth, it makes me no better.

But I'm somehow okay with that.

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later... RAIN!

I'm just lucky it decided to wait until all the port excursions were over.

After the incredibly beautiful weather I've had since day one, it's impossible to complain about things now. In a way, it's perfect, because I can just kick back and relax without feeling any pressure to do anything. Except pack. And pay my bill. Blech...

If there's one benefit of having crappy weather, much of the ship is abandoned...

But the best part of my day? I got to have breakfast with Mickey Mouse...

Fortunately, I was dressed for the occassion.

Onward to Barcelona...

Pulling into the Corsican port of Ajaccio under flawless blue skies, I'm once again thankful for my unprecedented luck with the weather. On every other cruise I've taken, there's been at least one port that's overcast and rainy.

When it came to shore excursions for Corsica I decided on the long drive to Corte, the former capitol. The tour description promised a look at Corsica's rich and interesting history, which was all I needed to know.

Surprisingly, the road to Corte in the interior of the island is pretty rugged and mountainous...

Corte itself is a nice city with some interesting places to eplore...

Another day gone. My vacation is passing all too quickly.

Most people on the ship seem to be taking a long bus ride into Pisa or Florence from our place of landing here in the port city of La Spezia. Since I've already been both places, I decided to try something different and visit the coastal cities of Santa Margherita and Portofino.

It turned out to be a good decision.

Both cities are absolutely beautiful... rivaling even the Amalfi Coast in Southern Italy. Santa Margherita is the larger of the two, and has a beautiful cathedral that's a little plain on the outside, but magnificent on the inside. In a disturbing turn, they seemed to be selling tribbles at the fruit markets here...

And, as if Santa Margherita wasn't beautiful enough, along comes Portofino. The city is just fantastic for tourists, and has terrific gelato...

I never get this lucky when it comes to vacation weather. I'm guessing a thunderstorm will be coming along any minute now...

Blah blah blah... Vatican City... Blah blah blah... St. Peter's Basilica... Blah blah blah... The Colosseum... Blah blah blah... The Pantheon... Blah blah blah... Trevi Fountain... Blah blah blah...

FETTUCINI ALFREDO!

As I've mentioned more than a few times before, my favorite restaurant on earth is Ristorante Alfredo alla Scrofa in Rome. So when the ship docked at Civitavecchia, I jumped at the chance to take a bus into the city so I could have my favorite meal...

It was, as expected, beyond delicious.

Other than that, I just wandered around The Eternal City... killing time until my bus returned to port...

Rome is very beautiful and exciting... but it's the Fettucini Alfredo that makes me want to come back.