As of today, I have become a single-issue voter.
Since it doesn't seem to matter which political party gets into office, and Republicans and Democrats have been equally guilty of caving to lobbyists and fucking up this country... I just don't give a shit anymore. This tends to lead me to vote based on social issues rather than the Big Political Issues that are decided by People With Money instead of politicians.
Because if we're going to charge ahead into wars so the 1% can profit from the carnage... if we're going to continue to subsidize industries that destroy the environment... if we're always going to pass laws that stack the deck against the little guy so the big guys can keep their wealth and power... does it really fucking matter if it's a conservative or a liberal making the decision? Why should I care?
Newsflash... I don't.
I haven't for a long time.
And so I've made my election decisions based solely on the issues that politicians can actually change. Any time a candidate is fighting for personal liberties, equality, fairness, and keeping the government the fuck out of our bedrooms, vaginas, and private lives... they get my vote. Which is why Mitt Romney wasn't even on my radar during the last presidential election. President Obama was the least worst candidate on crap that presidents are actually a factor in changing. Sure he totally fucked us on "government transparency," but the People With Money were never going to let ordinary citizens see how the government really works anyway... so whatever. But Obama has pushed forward on issues like marriage equality, which is all he can truly change anyway, so there you have it.
And now we come to the one issue that makes me a single-issue voter from here on out.
Daylight Saving Time.
Any politician... ANY politician... who makes a campaign promise to eradicate Daylight Saving Time gets my vote. Republican... Democrat... Libertarian... Independent... Communist... whatever... that's how I'm casting my ballot.
I can't stand Hillary Clinton. But if Hillary Clinton runs with the promise of dropping Daylight Saving Time and her challenger does not... CLINTON 2016!
I can't stand Mitt Romney. But if Mitt Romney runs again with the promise of dropping Daylight Saving Time and his challenger does not... ROMNEY 2016!
Hell, if mental midget with an IQ of a butter dish Louie Gohmert decides to stop obsessing over gay men long enough to make a run for president in 2016 with a promise to abolish Daylight Saving Time... GOHMERT 2016!
Sure he's dumber than a box of rocks, but it's not like this would be the first time we've had a person so pervasively, astoundingly, unyieldingly ignorant in the White House. But we survived then and we can survive again... we'll just be doing it without having to dick with our clocks twice a year.
And speaking of pervasively, astoundingly, unyieldingly ignorant potential candidates... if he vows to get rid of Daylight Saving Time? TRUMP 2016!
Because the madness simply has to end.
Eliminate it... or split the difference... or even make Daylight Saving Time become Standard Time... I don't fucking give a shit... just stop this antiquated, nonsensical, idiotic crap once and for all...
RICK "PIECE OF SHIT" SANTORUM 2016???
Could be. Could be. All it takes is one campaign promise... you disgusting, unAmerican, homophobic, dumbfuck... and my vote is yours!
Today is going to be a little different.
I need you to watch a short 30-second commercial.
Please pay attention, because there will be a test afterwards...
Thanks for watching "Beggin' Party Poppers." Here we go...
Thanks for playing!
My obsession with Elizabeth Hurley is well documented.
Which is why I was chuffed to bits too get a personal non-apology apology from her and Newcastle over the idiotic reaction to their truly funny "If We Had Won" campaign that surfaced when moronic "patriots" couldn't take a fucking joke. I mean, seriously, if obviously tongue-and-cheek ads by a BEER COMPANY from one of this country's strongest allies is offending you, maybe it's time to pull the flag pole out of your ass and just throw yourself off a cliff you miserable bastards.
Or just have a beer and relax maybe.
Anyway, here is Elizabeth Hurley in all her brutally hot glory...
And, in case you hadn't seen the original "terribly offensive ads," here's an example...
ZOMFG! SO OFFENSIVE! BUT NOT AS OFFENSIVE AS THIS!!!...
And, be still my heart, Elizabeth Hurley getting filthy...
The whole campaign can be found here.
Geez. Now I could really use a Newcastle.
If Americans want a real reason to get mad at the Brits, HERE IT IS...
HOW CAN HOT TAMALES MAKE YOU SAD? What a complete wanker!
I'm going to just come right out and say it... I love McDonalds.
And that's no hyperbole, it's the truth. Sure I wish that they would take the McVeggie Deluxe national so I had a burger I could eat there but, even without a veggie option, I still like the chain. I love their fries. I like their egg & cheese breakfast biscuits. I like their side salads. I like their shakes. I like their McFlurries. I like their hot caramel sundaes. I like their fruit-n-yogurt parfaits. I even like their apple pies (just not as much as when they were fried). They've got food I like that's served fast at decent prices. What's not to love?*
But heaven forbid I ever mention liking McDonalds. Even hinting at having eaten there brings out all the people who think it's their mission in life to tell people what they can and cannot like...
"McDONALD'S IS TOXIC GARBAGE! I WOULDN'T FEED THEIR 'FOOD' TO MY DOG!"
"McDONALD'S IS DESTROYING THE PLANET! WHEN YOU EAT THERE, YOU'RE HELPING THEM!"
"ARE YOU STUPID? WHY NOT JUST EAT RAT POISON IF YOU'RE INTENT ON BEING SO UNHEALTHY?"
"WHAT KIND OF IDIOT RUINS THEIR BODY WITH FAT, SUGAR, AND CHEMICALS BY EATING AT McDONALDS?"
"McDONALD'S TARGETS CHILDREN FOR UNHEALTHY EATING HABITS WITH TOYS!"
"SO GROSS! THEIR CRAP ISN'T EVEN REAL FOOD!"
Etc. Etc. Etc.
Well, whatever. I honestly don't give a fuck. You don't like it? DON'T EAT THERE! You think it's unhealthy? DON'T EAT THERE! You have a problem with the food? DON'T EAT THERE! As for me? There's nothing wrong with an occasional bag of fries and a chocolate shake at McDonalds... AND I enjoy it, so just leave me the hell alone. I mean, thanks, but I am fully aware of the nutritional content (or lack thereof) of what I'm eating.
And then today a McDonalds post pops up in my Facebook feed.
The number of hateful comments shouldn't have surprised me, but it did.
For reasons completely unknown, there are people who hate McDonald's so much that they spend their valuable time ripping McDonald's to shit IN FACEBOOK COMMENTS! Which probably ranks right up there with "screaming into a pillow" when it comes to effectiveness, but whatever. At least when people feel the need to rip into me personally for my food choices, they think they're helping me out (or something) so they can feel good about doing me a solid. What possible benefit is there to leaving nasty comments for McDonalds on Facebook? Could there be a bigger waste of time?
Probably.
Like blogging about it, I suppose.
* Well, okay, I DON'T love McDonald's clown figurehead, Ronald McDonald, who is terrifying...
You often hear "Youth is wasted on the young."
Less often you may hear "Wealth is wasted on the rich."
Something you don't hear very often is "Intelligence is wasted on the smart." And that's probably because smart people are smart enough to put their intelligence to good use.
But not always.
I've seen a lot of stupid people do a lot of stupid shit.
Most times it's relatively harmless... like when somebody gets drunk, decides they can fly, then jumps off the roof and breaks their leg. So they end up in a cast for a while and learn a valuable lesson. Which they will immediately forget the next time they get drunk. Because they're stupid.
Sometimes it's tragic... like when somebody gets drunk, decides they can fly, then hijacks a plane and crashes it into a football stadium during playoffs. So they end up dead for a while and learn a valuable lesson. Which, unfortunately, took their life and the lives of thousands of other people to learn. Because they're stupid.
But whatever. There's no sense getting too worked up over it because it's stupidity and that's what stupid does.
No, it's when I see smart people doing stupid shit that I fly into a rage. They should know better. They're smarter than that. They have the ability make better choices.
Today I had to deal with the consequences of somebody who is incredibly smart doing something mind-bogglingly stupid. They made a horrible decision which is not only going to destroy their own life, but is going to affect a lot of people in a bad way for a long time. And the more the situation sinks in the angrier I get and the more I want to know why. Why did you do it? What could you have possibly been thinking? How could you let this happen? Why? WHY? WHY? WHY?
And so, against my better judgement, I asked them.
Their answer?
"I don't know."
You don't know?!? Really? BZZZZZZT! WRONG ANSWER! That's the answer a stupid person gives. That's the answer that comes from somebody who never bothers to think about what they're doing or what the consequences might be. That's the answer from a person who just doesn't give a fuck and has resolved to live their life free of responsibility. That's the answer you get from idiots who "don't know" because they never know anything. They don't know and they don't care that they don't know, so they never make the effort to know, and THAT'S what makes them stupid.
You often hear "Even smart people make stupid decisions".
I know first-hand that this is true.
But if you're a smart person making a stupid decision that's going to ruin lives, you'd better damn well come up with a better answer than "I don't know."
The people who cared for you and trusted you deserve better than your playing the stupid card.
Today was a piece of crap smothered by a pile of shit kind of day.
As if that weren't bad enough, everybody in North America living where Stupid Fucking Daylight Saving Time is observed has to "Spring Forward" with their clocks tonight. Which means there's one less hour of sleep tomorrow morning. Which means that everybody's internal clock is going to be fucked up for a couple weeks. Which means everybody's cranky and unproductive. Which means everybody is angry and nothing gets done...
Stupid Fucking Daylight Saving Time. I MEAN, COME ON! PICK A TIME SCHEME AND STICK WITH IT! SERIOUSLY, EITHER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE OR JUST FUCKING PICK ONE. I DON'T EVEN GIVE A SHIT WHICH ONE... STANDARD TIME... DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME... AMERICAN SAMOA TIME... WHATEVER TIME YOU WANT. JUST STOP DICKING AROUND WITH THE DAMN CLOCKS!
Okay then. I'm good for six months now.
Meh.
As this is the second-most stupid day of the year, I'm just going to take a pass. I'm all ranted out.
Except to say... holy shit haven't we had enough of this idiotic fucking around with the clocks yet?
When driving from Seattle back to the wilds of Redneckistan, I have two realistic options.
But when I checked the Washington State Department of Transportation app (which I'm guessing polls the WSDOT website), it said that Snoqualmie/Blewett was experience rolling slow-downs. Stevens had no problems listed, so I decided to go out of my way by 20 miles and head over Stevens so I wouldn't have to stop.
Of course I ended up having to be stopped by WSDOT THREE FUCKING TIMES, which means that the information provided by WSDOT is inaccurate and useless as usual. And the stupid thing was that I couldn't even tell why we were stopped, because no construction was going on. They just restricted traffic down to one lane for fun, I guess.
I simply do not understand the thinking that goes into WSDOT decision-making... if any. You would think that their priorities would be MAXIMIZING safety while MINIMIZING inconvenience. But it always seems as though they go out of their way to inconvenience drivers as much as possible. And it sucks.
Why do they bust up their resources and manpower into dozens of projects that never seem to be completed instead of focusing on a limited number of projects so that they have enough people and can actually finish in a reasonable amount of time? Why run three projects one right after another on the same damn mountain pass so drivers have to keep interrupting their travel? And why not focus on ONE FUCKING MOUNTAIN PASS AT A TIME so that there is always one pass open and clear of construction at any given moment? Emergency repairs I understand... but clearly there was no emergency today. Just more never-ending projects which cause more problems during their construction than they seem to solve when finished.
Look, I freely admit that I have no clue what's going on with all this crap. It could be that all this FUCKING BULLSHIT is necessary for some stupid reason. BUT EVEN IF THAT'S THE CASE... THEN AT LEAST KEEP YOUR DAMN WEBSITE UPDATED SO PEOPLE CAN MAKE INFORMED DECISIONS WHEN THEY TRAVEL! Anything less is just stupid, because bad information is worse than no information at all.
Well poop on a biscuit.
Nothing quite like needing to research something, finding out that the information you have to have is on a government-funded site, then going to the site only to find THIS staring back at you...
So... to sum up...
I need to make sure something is in compliance with government standards.
The government standards are made available from government-funded entities.
Now that the government is shut down, those government-funded entities are no longer available.
But I still have to comply with the government standards, even though I have no way of knowing what they are.
Just when I think things can't get any more fucked-up than they already are, the government has to come along and prove me wrong.
Alrighty then.
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