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Poppers

Posted on Saturday, July 12th, 2014

Dave!Today is going to be a little different.

I need you to watch a short 30-second commercial.

Please pay attention, because there will be a test afterwards...

Thanks for watching "Beggin' Party Poppers." Here we go...

  1. How fucking lazy have we humans become when we can't be bothered to toss a dog treat in the air, but instead need a device to do it for us?
  2. Do you think the fine people at Purina who developed this product know that "poppers" is a slang term given to a chemical called alkyl nitrite which is inhaled as an aphrodisiac... primarily by homosexuals to relax the anus and make anal sex more comfortable? Even if there aren't any gay men on the product development team, wouldn't you think there's be at least one of them who had a gay friend that likes to delight in torturing them by doing things like explaining what "poppers" are?
  3. Assuming animals are capable of feeling shame, do you think that the dogs in this commercial should feel more or less embarrassed to be appearing in such a fucking stupid advertisement?
  4. Does this entry make you more or less embarrassed to be a Blogography reader... or have you already hit rock-bottom in that department, so nothing I post here can make things worse?
  5. If you had to guess as to what a "Beggin' Popper" tastes like... what would that be?

Thanks for playing!

Tags: , , ,
Categories: Television 2014Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. kyle says:

    can’t wait to see what kind of traffic your site gets from ‘poppers’ searches

  2. Jeff says:

    Haha.. What difference does it make what it tastes like… dogs will eat shit out of a baby’s diaper (I know this because my parent’s dog once ate my son’s diaper clean when I left it on the floor when he was a baby)

  3. martymankins says:

    While I agree with the lazy part of getting a “popper” to a dog, I also admit to liking devices that launch items in the air.

    Never been embarrassed to read Blogography. I learn more about stuff by reading here.

  4. I always giggle a little (because I’m 12, dang it!) when I go to a restaurant and they have “poppers” on the menu: jalapeno poppers, cheese poppers, etc.

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