Weekdays are packed with work at my job... weekends are packed with work at my home. And I'm overwhelmed with stuff to do at both, so I'm having to pick between blogging or napping. Lucky you...
Yesterday I sat down to work and it took all of ten seconds before Jake decided to crawl on top of me. Of course he never wants to sit on my lap when I'm just watching television. Only when I have something important to do...
But it's not like I can ever refuse my cats anything, so I let him fall asleep while I continued my Quentin Tarantino marathon.
Not that Jenny is innocent when it comes to demanding my attention. Both of my cats are demanding attention lately...
Oh well. Who needs sleep?
There will be no crying that I don't know where my weekend went... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• Well Hello Hello! If you want to escape from the horrors of the world, I love the Black Hammer Artisan YouTube channel. The two guys behind it were giving up because nobody found their videos. Then their goodbye video blew up, so now they're back! They make things with medieval blacksmithing methods and it's so zen to watch...
I hope they get a lot of support from YouTube so they can keep going.
• Cursives! Things like this bring a smile to my face even as the world burns to the fucking ground...
I am one of those people who thinks that cursive writing is antiquated and unnecessary. Schools need to teach more modern, relevant subjects that will actually get used. Leave cursive to art and history electives. Though this is a highly entertaining use of a dead writing style, so there's that.
• Evaporation Blankets! I always keep a heavy blanket in the car in case I have to help somebody or rescue an animal or something. I ordered a new blanket because the one I had was 20 years old or more and was getting a little brittle. The blanket was not cheap because I wanted something heavy enough to insulate from the ground in the cold. I finally got around to opening it and washing it... and what a disaster. The washing machine was filled with fuzz. And now I've run it through the dryer three times in an effort to get all the fuzz stuck to it to come off... and it still needs to be run again. I swear the blanket has lost half of its volume. This is stupid. Why make a blanket that can't stay together through even one washing?
• DOON Fumble! Of all the videos dishing on why Dune: Prophecy was a disappointment, this one is right on target...
I too hope that they recover with the second season because I want to love this series. I think they were so hot to make it be Game of Thrones that they forgot to make Dune. That needs to change.
And while we're at it...
If show runners don't want to be "shackled" to an Intellectual Property and feel the need to "do their own thing"... THEN GO DO YOUR OWN FUCKING THING AND STOP FUCKING UP BELOVED IPs!! NETWORKS NEED TO HIRE SHOW RUNNERS WHO **WANT** TO BE "SHACKLED" TO THE IP! THAT'S THE ENTIRE POINT OF CREATING A SHOW BASED ON IP!
• Fare Thee Well, Dream! Welp. The Sandman is done at Netflix. I mean, I'm glad that Netflix is giving the show one more season... but it being the "conclusion" of Sandman when there are loads of stories left to adapt is incredibly sad. I really, really, really wanted a Death: The High Cost of Living mini series. But nope. Neil Gaiman had to end up being a piece of shit, so now this is all there is...
Very sad to all the actors who don't deserve to have their work cut short because the creator of the source material ended up being garbage.
• Old is New! It's not all bad news out of Netflix. Here's a returning show that I'm really looking forward to...
Oh man do I hope it's as good an adaptation as the first season.
• Fresh Young! Emily left Linus Tech Tips and started her own channel... her intro is pretty great...
Young is very good at what she does, and her being trans has absolutely zero effect on her ability to do it. If people just get the fuck over themselves and just let trans persons exist, then she likely wouldn't have needed to even address it. She shouldn't have to address it. But... here we are. So many people clutching pearls over something that has no effect on them whatsoever. I wish her the best of luck.
And that's it for another Sunday. Time to prepare myself for a return to Real Life.
I am so tired that I think my brain is turning to mush.
Finally. FINALLY... after twenty years of attempts to bring the Fantastic Four to film... the actual Fantastic Four from the comics is landing. The Thing finally looks like The Thing. The core concept of the book that is based on a CLOSE FAMILY who are EXPLORERS that go on INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES together has been embraced. And having their story begin on an alternate earth from the 1960's which will differentiate the movie from all the other super-hero movies is absolute genius..
H.E.R.B.I.E.!
THE FANTASTICAR!
THE BAXTER BUILDING!
GALACTUS!
And how flawless is that casting?
Wait... I take it back... The Incredibles was a brilliant adaptation of The Fantastic Four. By far the most accurate, even though it wasn't actually The Fantastic Four. Yet they managed to capture who The Fantastic Four are better than any of the movies with the name did.
The marketing is phenomenal...
My mind is reeling over how the team will be brought to the Marvel Cinematic Universe proper. Will their earth be eaten by Galactus but they're able to cross over to the MCU to try and save our earth from Galactus? Who knows! But I'm dying to find out!
When I became a vegetarian in 1986, there wasn't the abundance of fake meats that there is now. Since I've never been a big tofu fan, this made for tough meal-planning. I ate a lot of Garden Burgers. A lot of cheese sandwiches. Some salads. That was my diet and I was fine with it.
But there was another food I ate quite a lot of... rice.
Specifically, Farmhouse Mexican Rice.
I was (and still am) a massive fan of Mexican food. I needed a substitute for meat in Mexican dishes. One day I goofed around with making enchiladas with Mexican rice and was soon using it for everything. On tacos. On nachos. On taco salads. Everywhere. It was a miracle for food diversity for me...
I've been eating this same box of rice for decades.
Until I couldn't any more.
Last year I found that I couldn't find it at my local grocer. Nor could I find it at non-local grocers. Or online. In a panic I went to the Farmhouse website and saw that it was still there. I just couldn't buy it anywhere. Via Googling I found outdated rice some places, but also found that other people weren't finding it as well.
Pretty sure Farmhouse has discontinued it.
Which is awful for me.
I've found many Spanish Rice mixes (which are not the same)... and a few other brand Mexican rice mixes... but none of them are what I'm looking for.
So now I've been working with recipes to try and find out if I can make it myself. Which is tough because the Farmhouse mix has ingredients which you never find in regular recipes, and that means that they're likely contributing to the taste in subtle ways that I can't figure out. Yet.
One day I'll crack the code. At least I hope so.
In the meanwhile, I'm really missing the Mexican foods that I can't make the way I used to.
It's Koogle all over again.
I find it categorically disgusting that credit reporting companies have such absolute and total control over your ability to EXIST in this world, but have absolutely zero accountability for this power they hold over you.
Take for example, Experian. I have to create an online account with them. I fill out all the information they require, but it says they can't verify me. I try THREE TIMES, making extra careful that I was accurate in the information I provided. Won't verify. So I call the number they give you.
No person answers of course. You get some awful automated system that asks you what you want. I tell them I need to verify my account online. It doesn't understand. I try again. THE SYSTEM HANGS UP ON ME.
I go through this crap TWO MORE TIMES, trying to rephrase it in different ways. Not even saying "REPRESENTATIVE" works. So I have to Google for a different number. I call it, get connected with customer service, who proceeds to ask me numerous questions. I answer each question accurately... even looking up specific amounts online to make sure I'm correct. Doesn't matter. I'm told that I answered one of the questions wrong. EXCEPT I DIDN'T. I VERIFIED EVERY DANG ANSWER IN REAL TIME.
So what now? NOTHING! THAT'S WHAT! The rep was going to escalate my to somebody, but their manager refused to talk with me because I answered a question wrong? Again, I didn't. BUT ISN'T THAT WHY YOU TALK TO A MANAGER IN THE FIRST PLACE?!? So what now? Wait 72 hours and try again. I'm not even joking.
I've wasted 40 minutes dealing with Experian, got nowhere, and have to call back... at which point they'll likely find a way to deny verification AGAIN.
How is this legal? If this company has this kind of power over me, they shouldn't get to blow me off when I need help. When a company has this kind of power over me, they should be REQUIRED to resolve stuff like this BY LAW.
Then again, a company shouldn't have this kind of power over me in the first place.
I detest watching shows on ad-laden HBO Max.
Because I know I'm going to have to endure those shitty "HAVE A LITTLE FUN!" Volkswagen ads over and over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER. This is clearly HBO ripping off Volkswagen by saying "GIVE US LOTS OF MONEY BECAUSE WE DISPLAYED YOUR AD A MILLION TIMES LAST NIGHT!" without telling Volkswagen that those million ads were served to only 50 people. I have nothing against Volkswagen, per se. But the way HBO abuses their advertising has me on the verge of HATING Volkswagen.
I'd walk into one of their dealerships, hear that song in my head, then walk right back out the door.
The movie I am watching... again... is Taking Chance.
Years ago it was mentioned as a good film to watch so as to understand why Dover Air Force Base should be open to the media to cover fallen soldiers returning home. And so I watched it. I was not prepared. I don't think you ever could be prepared to watch it. But it's such an important film that's so beautifully crafted that I think everybody should watch it...
I make a point to see it every couple years when I want to be more emotionally devastated than I already am.
Which is most days, lately.
I don't know about y'all, but the height of anxiety for me is giving my cats a new brand of cat food. The odds are 50/50 that one or both of them won't like it. THEN... once I confirm that they both like it, the odds are then an additional 50/50 that they will stop liking it the minute I order a case of it. Fortunately there' little sample packs you can get for foods that cost a little more, but at least I'm not paying lots of money for food only to have it end up at the shelter.
Jake has turned into a total lap-cat.
The minute I sit down he's all over me. Not for hours, mind you... but he'll lay there to get petted for a good 20 minutes. Sometimes less if if not paying him enough attention...
To give Jake something to do while he's on my lap, I found a bird video made for cats on YouTube...
And he was 100% invested from the minute it started...
Jenny is not a lap cat at all. But she'll still sit next to me and insist on attention just the same...
To each their own. Even for cats, I guess.
Blogcation, all I ever wanted.
Blogcation, had to get away.
Blogocation, meant to be spent not blogging...
See ya in a week, y'all.
Long story short... I was offered a trip to Disneyland when a friend couldn't go, so another friend and I took them up on it. Like my trip to Walt Disney World in August, I'll be posting the good, the bad, and the ugly this week.
I haven't been to Disneyland since 2017. My work took me to Disney East far more often than Disney West. But I've still been to the parks many, many times.
Usually when going to The Happiest Place on Earth, I stay at the Grand Californian hotel. It was designed by the same architect that designed two of my favorite hotels, the Wilderness Lodge and Animal Kingdom Lodge at Disney World, Peter Dominick. This trip's lodging was at the new Pixar Place hotel, which I had stayed at when Disney called it "Paradise Pier." It's fresh and fun and probably a better fit now that Pixar franchises are taking over California Adventure...
The lobby is quite nice. They have a big Luxo Jr. lamp on the famous Pixar Ball statue welcoming you as you walk in. When we arrived, Dug (from the Pixar movie Up) was also there to greet guests, sign autographs, and pose for photos...
Above the lobby is a beautiful chandalier with stylized icons of characters from Pixar films...
When we checked in, we got a tip sheet for the hotel which advertised a limited edition Pixar Putt mini-golf course set up in their ballroom through June 1st. At $28 per person ($33 Friday-Sunday), it ain't cheap, but five days at the parks guarantees you'll be riding the same rides multiple times each so it was nice to have something else to do...
The course has holes inspired by Pixar movies. And I'm just going to get this out of the way... the course looks incredible... but it plays for shit. This is an incredibly difficult and frustrating game that posts pars which are hilariously unrealistic. Neither of us were new to mini golf and had a very hard time of it. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for little kids trying to play it.
Take for example Hole #3, which is based on WALL-E. It's adorable and has a par of 3 strokes. You can get it in one stroke if you can manage to hug the rail on the outside edge just right and have it loop into the upper cup with EVE's plant, where it will drop down and roll into the hole...
Except there's numerous problems here. First of all, in order to have the power to get up the ramp in the first place, you have to hit the ball pretty hard. Which almost always flies it off the course because the rail you have to hug is way too short. But even if you manage to do it, getting the ball to go down the upper cup is nigh-impossible. The loop isn't angled right in the EVE loop for a consistent play but, even worse, THE PLANT SHE'S HOLDING OBSTRUCTS THE HOLE! AND IT'S METAL, SO EVEN IF YOU DO EVERYTHING JUST RIGHT IT WILL JUST BOUNCE OFF THE CUP IN A WAY THAT DOESN'T EVEN PUT YOU IN PLAY TO GET THE HOLE IN A SECOND STROKE!
Nope. You have to go up the ramp... again and again and again. And, if you're lucky you'll eventually get the ball in the region of the hole. Except odds are it will get hung up behind WALL-E, adding another two strokes to the hole. OR THREE OR FOUR STROKES BECAUSE MOST OF THE HOLES DON'T HAVE FLAT SURFACES! They're warped so you can't hit to get a specific placement to line up the next shot.
It was so incredibly frustrating to play this course that we weren't even trying by about hole 5 (of 18). We were giving each hole a couple tries until giving up and cheating our way to the hole. WHICH, AGAIN, HAS A THICK METAL POLE WELDED IN EACH CUP, AND YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO BOUNCE OFF OF IT THAT EVER GET THE BALL IN THE CUP!
I think we managed to get par on a couple holes. Including The Incredibles which not only had a doable par, but looked really cool...
So, yeah... if you're looking for something to do at Disneyland, this probably isn't it. They needed to do a lot more play-testing and gear the game towards playing mini golf instead of gearing it towards just looking cool.
The Pixar Place hotel itself is pretty cool. Like all the Disney hotels around the world, I recommend it if you can afford the absurd cost. The location is perfect... across the street from California Adventure with a private entrance to the park (for Disneyland you have to go through Downtown Disney). It's also well-maintained, clean, comfortable, and beautifully-themed.
Continuing my posts about the five days I spent at Disneyland, today let's talk about the events that were happening at the parks while I was there.
This is a special event where you could pay $180 for the privilege of staying at the park until 1:00am and ride the attractions with lower wait times. That alone isn't worth the cost to me. It's yet another Disney cash-grab for people who are already paying crazy amounts of money for a Disneyland vacation. What does make it worth the money to me are the specialty foods they offer. They're only available to you if you have the magic wristband that says you've paid to be there.
The food at these things is always pretty darn good. Here are some of my favorites. Forgive the bad photos, but it was after dark, after all.
Hands-down the best thing I had that night was Deep-Fried Cheese Ravioli with Spicy Red Sauce at Café Daisy. I fell in love with "Toasted Ravioli" when visiting St. Louis (where it's the city's official dish, I think). Problem is that it was really tough to find fried cheese ravioli. Most of the times it was some kind of meat. Not only was this cheese ravioli, it was exceptional cheese ravioli. Loved it. Wish it was permanently on the menu...
The dessert at Café Daisy was also incredible... Tunnel of Love Donuts, which is sugar donuts with a strawberry cream. I could have camped at Café Daisy and ate ravioli and donuts for five hours...
The drink of the night was a Strawberry-Passion Fruit Lemonade at Galactic Grill. It's perfectly balanced and has very good flavor...
While the Tunnel of Love Donuts were good, the dessert of the night was Sour Cherry Churro Bites, also at Galactic Grill. The churro pieces were perfectly fried and the sour cherry was actually a kind of popping candy, which was fantastic...
In addition to the exclusive food items, you also get a special parade. My friend's favorite Disney animated film is Hercules, and he was really hoping to get a photo with Herc and Meg because we had read that they were at Sweetheart's Night last year. But, alas, the only place you got to see them was on the back of the last float in the Valentine Parade...
This is kinda crappy. All of those famous Disney couples should have been making appearances throughout the park all night long as another perk for that $180 ticket cost. That's what they do at Walt Disney World with their After Dark events.
This event doesn't cost anything additional. If you have a ticket for the resort and have a reservation for California Adventure, you're in. There's not a lot to it. Food booths are selling Asian specialties. The character appearances are dressed or themed around what precious few Asian-themed movies Disney has. Here's Mickey and Minnie in Korean costumes...
And here's a photo opportunity with Mushu from Mulan...
I actually like it when the events are a part of the cost of admission to the parks. Lunar New Year is like an added bonus on top of everything else they already offer. This is a lot like the many festivals at Epcot at Disney World. Just another reason to plan a Disney vacation.
When I was a kid, there was a show called Dancing Waters which played at SeaWorld in San Diego. Since my family lived in the city when I was a kid, I have vague memories of watching the water jets spray water with colored lights shining on things while music was playing. California Adventure has their own version of Dancing Waters in a big production in their lagoon called World of Color. The original (non-"ONE") version I've seen many times because when my mom came with me to work she loved the show so we would always stay and watch it.
During the Lunar New Year celebration, they have a short pre-show the comes before the main event. It's the story of a little red lantern using its heart to find a way home. Or something. I didn't totally get it. After that was spraying water with colored lights and music... and an occasional projection of Disney animated scenes on a water mist curtain. It's a pretty good show...
Now, here's where things were different than the other shows I've attended.
Previously, you could purchase a World of Color Dining Package. You'd have a prix fixe lunch or dinner at one of the restaurants offered, then get to stand in the premium viewing area for the show. I always paid for it because my mom was short and I wanted her to have a front-row standing spot. But now... they have a "World of Color Dessert Party" where you can pay for actual table seating for the show, while getting a tray of various desserts, cheeses, and grapes (along with various beverages, including specialty cocktails). The weather was a bit misty, but not fully-raining like earlier in the day...
I would have loved to have had seating available when my mom was traveling with me. Sure it costs $80 each, but it would have been so much more comfortable for her. And for me. Though "comfortable" was relative this time around. Despite being in Southern California, it was very cold. So cold I bought a sweatshirt so I wouldn't freeze.
And that was the last of the special events available while I was at Disneyland Resort.
Continuing my posts about the five days I spent at Disneyland, today let's talk about some of the food I ate while I was there.
When you have work which takes you to the Disney Parks for years and years, you get to the point where you've ridden the attractions dozens and dozens of times. They kinda lose their appeal after a while. What doesn't lose its appeal is eating. It's my favorite thing to do at Walt Disney World and Disneyland, and I make a point of stacking up my reservations so I can eat at all the places I love while also trying the new places that have popped up (I already covered my favorite foods from Disneyland's Sweetheart's Night here). Here are the most notable places this visit.
I skipped going to Star Wars Land (AKA Galaxy's Edge) when it opened because it was new and I hate crowds (and I was only going to the park to eat at that point because after my 20th trip to Disney World for work, I had ridden all the rides). I always thought I'd go later but then... COVID... and I never did. Back in August I went to the one in Orlando, but couldn't get into Oga's Cantina because I didn't have reservations and the line was always a mile long. So for this trip I made reservations (and went a second time one night because the line was short). Loved the place. It looks like it came right out of a Star Wars movie...
A few things... First of all, this is a bar. Not a restaurant. Very expensive drinks and snacks only. The second time we were there we shared a standing table where four sets of people came and went without ordering anything because it was either too expensive or didn't have meals. Second of all, if you want to sit at a shared table you have to make reservations. Otherwise you end up at a shared standing table. Third of all, there is a two-drink-maximum and you can't stay longer than 45 minutes. They don't want drunk people in Disneyland and they want to make sure as many people as possible can visit.
The food here is interesting and the custom cocktails are fantastic. My favorite drink was the "Jet Juice" that my friend had (Maker's Mark Bourbon, Ancho Reyes Chile Liqueur, Stirrings Pomegranate Liqueur, White Grape Juice, and Lemon Juice), but the "Fuzzy Tauntaun" I had (Ketel One Botanical Peach & Orange Vodka, Bols Peach Schnapps Liqueur, Orange Juice with Tangerine, Pure Cane Sugar, and 'Buzz Button Tingling' Foam) gets honorable mention because it has a foam that numbs your tongue while it causes it to tingle. Bizarre, but fun...
We had Garlic-Cheese Five Blossom Bread with Spicy Cheese Sauce and also the Reythan Crackers with Moss Mousse. Both were tasty, with the Reythan Crackers being particularly cool to look at...
The good news is that I managed to complete my Grinning Loth-Cat Tiki Mug collection. I now have one from Batuu-West (wood) and Batuu-East (stone). To get one, you have to purchase your choice of a non-alcoholic drink with the mug for $28...
I had liked eating at Ariel's Grotto and Cove Bar in California Adventure, so I was excited to get reservations for its replacement The Lamplight Lounge. It ended up being my favorite sit-down meal of all those we had. Their "Double Impossible Cheese Burger" was mind-blowing good. I had to restrain myself from ordering a second one after I finished the first! My friend had a "Vietnamese BBQ Pork Chop" served with garlic noodles that he loved. I wish that Disneyland put such care into all their restaurants, because half of them are not memorable for their food like Lamplight is. As if that wasn't enough, their drink menu was on-point as well. Highly recommended if you're doing the Disneyland thing...
My friend had never eaten at the Blue Bayou restaurant... a famous Disneyland eatery that's inside The Pirates of The Caribbean ride, so we decided to go. I had always gone on a friend's reservation and had no idea how incredibly difficult it is to get a table reserved. I was on the website every day the minute the reservations went live and only managed to even see an availability after the fourth day of trying... and only one time (3:40) out of the three left would register, so naturally I wasn't picky and grabbed it.
The service is impeccable. They have a Hurricane as the specialty cocktail, so the drinks are on-point. But, as with my previous visits, the experience of dining here is better than the actual food (especially since we ended up with a table right near the water so we could watch the boats go by). The plant-based option was "Pistachio Lemon Basil Pasta" that was okay, but not great. My friend had the Filet Mignon and liked it... but it was his first time eating Filet Mignon so I don't know what kind of an endorsement that is! As you can probably guess, the cost to eat here is massively expensive...
Dessert, as usual, was fantastic. Their "Brown Butter Banana Upside-down Cake" is right out of New Orleans and, since I love Bananas Foster, I loved this...
This place (located on the Disneyland Hotel campus) is kinda a tough "get" because locals like to grab a drink here as well. To get a table inside you have to make a reservation because it's quite small. But it's also well worth the effort to come. The bartenders and staff are always entertaining, and ordering certain drinks get you certain "experiences" that you have to be there to really understand...
The menu is kinda what I'd describe as "elevated basic" and quite good. We were already full, so we just had a couple sides that I enjoyed before... Tempura Green Beans and Sweet Potato Fries...
I used to have a Trader Sam's mai-tai mug that was a nice transparent blue glass color. I lost it in the move. I wasn't planning on buying a replacement until I saw the beautiful opaque orange colorway that they currently had...
The only place I didn't get to that I wish I could have are the restaurants at Disney's Grand Californian Restaurant. But the menus have changed since I was last there and the vegetarian options weren't something I was dying to have given the cost. Oh well. Maybe next time.
Continuing my posts about the five days I spent at Disneyland, today let's talk about a new "land" to me... Avengers Campus at California Adventure.
Because it's kinda... bad. The only thing it has going for it are one ride and a bunch of character appearances by Marvel super-heroes. The rest is kinda meh. The other ride is meh. The shops are meh. The restaurants are meh. I have no idea what in the heck Disney was thinking, but they really should have put more thought into what they were doing.
Sure the Hollywood Tower of Terror conversion to Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout went better than it really should have (indeed, given that the ride was originally a stripped-down version of the superior Twilight Zone Tower of Terror at Disney World, I actually think it's better now), but everything else is underwhelming.
The other attraction of the land, WEB SLINGERS: A Spider-Man Adventure, is not that great at all despite a fun concept and a great pre-show that Tom Holland was kind enough to appear in...
But the ride itself is a bit tedious. It's also uncomfortable because you're costantly "shooting webs" to destroy spider-bots that have run amok. Plus it's inferior to the Universal Studios Orlando The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man ride from a quarter century ago. I guess they were excited about having a motion-tracking ride and didn't care that it wasn't the best experience?
But anyway...
They're soon expanding Avenger's Campus so they can cram in two new rides: Avengers: Infinity Defense and Stark Flight Lab. In order to do this, they will have to rip out The Red Trolley because the barn where it parks is in the way. This is probably for the best since it made zero sense to have a trolley car running along "Sunset Blvd." through Avengersland, but it's kinda sad too. I would have ridden it one last time, but the "attraction" had already been shuttered. Only the signs for it remain...
Since one of my favorite things to do is speculate on Disney parks construction, I've worked up a little map as to how the expansion might go. The green area is what comprises Avenger's Campus right now. The pink area (with the trolley barn in red) is a parking lot which is most definitely getting razed to make room for the new rides. The blue area has buildings, but is probably getting ripped out as well, because Infinity Defense is supposed to be on-par with Rise of the Resistance and will have to be in a very big building to get there. The yellow area is probably not going to get ripped out (for now) because it looks like there are some important buildings there...
If you take a look at the above possibilities when overlaid over a map of both parks at Disneyland Resort, you can see that this is a big chunk of land no matter how far they go with it...
Looking at this map, I cannot help but once again glance to that massively huge chunk of land occupied by Autopia and Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage between Fantasyland and Tomorrowland. Autopia is just plain stupid in the Year of Our Lord 2025. Adults can drive actual cars. Kids can drive battery-powered vehicles you can pick up at Costco for less than a park ticket costs. Get rid of it. And the Submarine Voyage, which has never been all that good, attempted to gain relevance by putting in screens with a Finding Nemo overlay that's just so tired. Get rid of it. Some truly great attractions could go in this massive space. Heck... an entirely new land could go in this massive space! Rip all of it out and build Arendelle from the wildly-popular Frozen movies! Or something. Or anything. I mean, just look at how absolutely huge this area is (marked in red)...
And, yes, I realize that the Disneyland Forward project is planned to add a bunch of space to the Disneyland Resort, but that still doesn't excuse this massive waste of space that could give us far better experiences than what we're getting from it now.
Continuing my posts about the five days I spent at Disneyland, today let's talk about the dark side of what's going on there. The things that contribute towards making it a bad experience for their guests.
I did not have a terrible time. It was an overall fun trip that was a nice distraction from the horrors of the day. But it could have been so much better.
It would be very, very easy to lay blame for the bad things on the former CEO of Disney, Bob Chapek. He was intent on wringing all the possible profit out of the Disney parks, even though the cost came at seriously screwing over their guests. Many of the things he did made the parks become everything Walt Disney was fighting against to differentiate his parks from all the others at the time.
Except you can't hang it all on Chapek because he's been gone for two years now and nothing has changed. Disney is still ruining the parks.
Park Hopping. Even though the Disneyland Resort is billed as a singular experience that contains both Disneyland and California Adventure, it really isn't. Unless you pay for it. To hop from park-to-park, you have to purchase a ticket add-on called "Park Hopper" which allows you to jump between the parks after 11am as often as you want. And you'll want to, because that's the only way you're making the best use of your time there since the parks are so small (and many rides are broken, but I'll get to that). On top of this, your first park of the day has to be reserved (hotel guest or not, Park Hopper or not) or else they won't let you in, so make the reservations the minute you get your tickets.
Struck by Lightning. The paid replacement for the once-free "FastPass" is (currently) "Lightning Lane," which gives you a time window to stand in a line that's much shorter than the regular line. The Disney World version is actually kinda cool and worth the money because you can pre-reserve your first three Lightning Lanes of the day before you even go there. Disneyland doesn't have anything like that. If you pay for the "Multi-Pass Lightning Lane" you get to make one reservation after you enter the park. Then once you use it you can make another. Or, if the park is really busy, you can make another reservation 2 hours after your first one. Of course you also have the option to spend something like $400 each to have a Lightning Lane for all the rides which have them. It's an expense that might be worth it if you're visiting on a busy day or have a single day to visit. But the regular version should be included with your ticket. And don't get me started about the insanely popular rides (like Radiator Springs Racers and Rise of the Resistance) which you have to pay big dollars to get Individual Lightning Lanes for because your regular Lightning Lane won't work. Price gouging at its finest (as an example... for both of us to get a spot for Rise of the Resistance would cost an additional $58 on top of the Lightning Lane Multi-Pass we already got).
Character Madness. A big, big part of a visit for many people going to Disney parks is meeting the various characters to get their picture taken with them or get their autograph or say "hi" or whatever. Fortunately, the Disneyland App lists character appearances so you can find the ones you want to see. Unfortunately, the app is wrong a shockingly huge number of times. An example: My friend is a massively huge fan of Ahsoka Tano (aren't we all though?). He wanted to get his picture taken with her. So we looked at the app for the place and time and did that. She wasn't there. We went to the next appearance. She wasn't there. We went to another. She wasn't there again so we decided to ask what was going on. After a bunch of cast members told us "Not my department" we finally found somebody who made a call. Turns out she wasn't appearing AT ALL that day. And yet she was listed on the app as appearing more times that afternoon. WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK?!? If a character actor is sick or whatever, then fine. It happens. By why don't they remove their appearances so we weren't dragging our asses from one end of the park to the other to try and meet Ahsoka? The next day we tried again. First appearance? Wasn't there again. This time we wasted no time asking a bunch of employees if she would be appearing there or not, at which point we were told by one "I think so because I saw the back of her head." So we waited and finally got to see her (whomever the cast member is behind that makeup was absolutely brilliant, by the way)...
This is bonkers. And it doesn't end there. The app was consistently wrong on many, many character appearances (especially over at Avenger's Campus). How difficult is it to stay on top of this so you aren't repeatedly disappointing your guests and wasting their time? Update your damn app because people are counting on it to plan their day. And give your employees more information (or a way to get it) so they're not constantly being all "Not my department," which is plain rude.
Don't Stand in Line. At Walt Disney World, characters appear at a specific venue at a specific time and you can (mostly) count on them being there. Disneyland has a lot "wandering characters" which aren't at a specific place, so you have to kind of wander yourself until you spot them then walk along with them as they dash to try and get your autograph or photo. This is categorically stupid, and I don't get why they do this when they already have a system that works. But even when they do have a place for characters to appear, they handle it badly. First of all, you can't stand in line to wait for a character appearance. Nope, a cast member will march right up and tell you to "disperse" which means you have to hang out in the area and not in line. Which is insane. THE ROPES FOR A LINE ARE RIGHT THERE!!! So instead you get there early to see somebody, can't stand in line, then a bunch of people just randomly walking by at the right time could hop in line in front of you and you may not get to see the character before they leave. How does that make sense? The one place that does it like Disney World was in California Adventure where Mushu appeared. You get in line. The cast member working the line warns people coming up late that the characters will be changing soon so who's there now may not be there when they get to the front of the line, and then you get to choose whether to stay or not. And that's the way it should be. The whole "Hang out in this area but don't get in line" is one of the stupidest fucking things I've ever seen at any theme park anywhere in the entire world. And I've been to my share.
Attractionless Attractions. While I was at the parks a lot of attractions were closed. The Disneyland Railroad, closed. The Monorail, closed. Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln, closed. Pixie Hollow, closed. It's a Small World, closed. Grizzly River Run, closed. And in March even more rides are closing, including Indiana Jones and Guardians of the Galaxy?!? Which begs the question... what the fuck will actually be open? Who knows? Because on top of the planned closures, other rides were "temporarily closed" all the damn time (the biggest culprits being Pirates of The Caribbean, Radiator Springs Racers, Guardians of the Galaxy and, of course, Rise of the Resistance). Disney is cheaping out on ride maintenance despite charging a shit-ton of money and raking in huge profits from their guests... which means they have to close a bunch of stuff down at the same time because it's not properly maintained, giving people less to do and making the remaining rides more crowded. It's ridiculous, unfair, and makes a Disney vacation a lot less appealing.
You Busted. I don't know another way to say it, but the parks are in a sad state. They are not maintained. They are dirty. They are broken. After a while I started taking photos of the massive number of things that were busted because I just couldn't believe it. Did Chapek fire absolutely everybody on maintenance? Because people shouldn't have to pay to see bullshit like this over and over and over and, in the grand scheme of things, hiring people to fix stuff is a drop in the bucket when it comes to the cost of doing business, so why not have a crew for that?
Rained Out. I fully realize that Southern California doesn't get a lot of rain. I do. But the fact that Disney isn't at all prepared for any rain is absurd. Disney World in Orlando can be in the middle of a hurricane and rides are still running and characters are still appearing. When there's even a little rain at Disneyland rides go down and characters never appear (and you will never know if they're coming later because of the useless Disneyland App, as noted above). And when you try to get any information at all, nobody can help you in any way no matter how many cast members are there. And, no, I'm not kidding. Here's me not standing in line out in the rain, as instructed, because a character didn't show up and I didn't want to get jumped by the eight employees hanging out doing nothing except telling people to not stand in line (I'm not showing their faces because its not their fault management doesn't know how to run a theme park and they're just doing what they've been told)...
For the love of God... do better. Have covered areas for characters. Spray some water-proofing on their costumes so the show can go on. Or have alternate costumes that are waterproof. Do something so guests that are going into debt to visit don't completely lose out because you aren't prepared for a rainy day.
Photo Passed. Like Disney World, Disneyland has a "Photo Pass" you can buy to get your photo taken with characters and important landmarks and such. But unlike Disney World, Disneyland has a woefully inadequate number of photographers. We got the add-on included free with our Park Hopper somehow, but got only a few photos (all of them were at the Avenger's Campus character spot, because the only other places I remember seeing a photographer is at the front of Disneyland in front of the Mickey flower art and again in front of the castle). Who would pay for something this worthless? Either do it right or don't do it at all.
Pin Trading... or Not. Disney World is a pin-trading utopia. Most all the shops have pin-trading boards and they're packed (and pins are swapped out regularly at the start of each day). Many employees have pins on them to trade. But at Disneyland? Oh heck no. They are pushing pins for sale absolutely everywhere, but pin-trading is almost non-existent. The very few shops that have boards have a tiny number of pins that are the exact same day after day after day. Here's a board in Tomorrowland with a whopping 12 pins on it, and it was mostly the same pins every day. And 12 is actually pretty good, because we saw a board that had a measly six on it every day. SIX!!! Why even bother?
But it gets worse. See how this shop has a sign that literally says "WANTED: PIN TRADERS"? Would you believe that the pin shop inside said "We don't have our board out today" when we asked where the pin trading was?
Well, believe it, because we checked multiple times on multiple days. Madness. How can people get into pin trading WHEN YOU DON'T PROVIDE A WAY FOR THEM TO TRADE PINS?!? Your best hope is to visit with fellow pin traders that sometimes hang out next to pin shops, but they're usually way too serious for people like me who just want to find an Orange Bird or Oswald pin to add to their collection.
What drives me crazy is that everything I'm complaining about here is fixable. Not just fixable, but easily fixable. Sure a (relatively) minor amount of money will have to be invested, but how can that be a barrier when these are serious problems that are going to have people never wanting to visit your parks again? Hire some maintenance people. Fill those pin boards. Waterproof those costumes. Let people stand in lines. This is not rocket science... and if the people in charge don't see that, Disney needs to hire people who can. Because I tell you what, I'm in no hurry to go back to Disneyland any time soon. And since I was gifted most of the cost of the hotel and tickets, that speaks volumes.
Finishing up my posts about the five days I spent at Disneyland, today I'm going to talk about the best thing about the place... the attractions (though the food is a close second).
For the longest time, my favorite ride at the park bounced between Star Tours and Pirates of the Caribbean. Except it really didn't. It's just that I'm such a massive Star Wars fan that it seemed that way. Not that Star Tours isn't a great ride that still holds up to this day, it absolutely does, it's just that the Disneyland version of Pirates is the absolute benchmark of how to build an attraction. First of all, it's fifteen-and-one-half minutes long! Which is crazy. So many of the attractions being built now-a-days are lucky to last two minutes (though Rise of the Resistance is kinda-sorta 18 minutes long, when it's running, so there's that). There's a lot of immersion and build-up to the (multiple) money-shots you get, yet Pirates never seems boring.
Pirates of The Caribbean is part of the original E-Ticket Attraction Pantheon that remains... along with Jungle Cruise, Disneyland Monorail, Matterhorn Bobsleds, it’s a small world, Enchanted Tiki Room, Submarine Voyage, Country Bear Jamboree, and Haunted Mansion (another ride that totally holds up, and it nearly nine minutes long).
But anyway...
Before eating at Blue Bayou, the restaurant inside of Pirates of the Caribbean, we rode it for a second time. It's really the only way to do the restaurant because then the experience is fresh in your head (though it almost didn't happen because the ride was closed all morning for repairs). And it reminded me how I am both okay/not-okay with the addition of the movie franchise that's based on the ride being added to the attraction. Okay, because it's very well-done, Johnny Depp's presence is adding to the attraction instead of overwhelming it, and it gave the ride some love to keep it relevant... and not-okay because the ride was perfect just how it was.
The biggest surprise out of all the attractions I went on was that I heard a spiel from the boat skipper on Jungle Cruise that I had never heard before...
SKIPPER: Now I'm going to scare off these hippos the same way I scared off my last girlfriend...
ME (as the skipper reaches for his gun): Oh my God!
SKIPPER (not touching his gun): LET’S GET A MORTGAGE AND BUY A HOUSE... AND HAVE 3 KIDS... AND TWO CATS NAMED OSCAR AND ISAAC!
I still don't know if I should find that funny or not, but it was sure hysterical to me at the time!
Something else that was new? After years of trying to see a hidden Easter Egg in Indiana Jones Adventure without success, I finally asked a cast member to help me out. For those of you who don't know, this attraction is not within the original boundary of Disneyland. No, it was built out in the old "Eeyore" parking lot (which explains why the queue is so long to get there...
Original Disneyland in Yellow... Indiana Jones Adventure in pink at the lower-left.
After Disney demolished the Eeyore parking lot, they hid one of the signs for it in the Indiana Jones ride. I knew that you had to look back when you reached the front of the main queue before Dr. Jones's office, but that never did me any good. I was starting to believe it didn't exist. So I asked. And the cast member pulled out a flashlight, shined it way, way back into a dark corner and... there it was. I don't know how I could have ever seen it on my own.
Something else I've meant to do but never did? Snap a photo of John Rhys-Davies as Sallah during my favorite part of the intro film...
And speaking of Indiana Jones Adventure... I rode it very soon after it had opened in 1995, and it's a different ride now than when it debuted...
And now a dozen random musings...
Random Musing #1: The day after I got back from Disneyland, I had kidney stone pain. It wasn't horribly bad, but it did make it so I couldn't keep anything down Saturday evening through Monday afternoon when it passed. Just yesterday I read an article where it said that there's a scientific paper saying that riding Big Thunder Mountain Railroad dislodges kidney stones! So... maybe the attraction saved me from an even worse agony than if I hadn't ridden it while I was at the park? Weird!
Random Musing #2: Mickey & Minnie's Runaway Railway is the exact same as the one in Walt Disney World. Except you leave Daisy's dance studio in the opposite direction. This freaked me out... and freaked me out again the second time, even though I was prepared for it.
Random Musing #3: Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin has changed Jessica Rabbit. She's no longer in her sexy red sparkle dress, they covered her in a trench-coat. And it's like... yeah... I know why. Gotta be PC and all that. But it looks ridiculous. I think it's actually less PC to think that she should be forced to cover herself (come on, it's not like she was showing nipple or anything).
Random Musing #4: Does anybody else find it odd that Jessica Rabbit has to wear a trench-coat, but at the end of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride you get sent to hell? Anybody? Anybody?
Random Musing #5: I elected not to climb up Adventureland Treehouse because they tore out the Tarzan re-theming from 1999. They re-themed to promote the animated Tarzan film of the day, but it was actually really cool because modern audiences could get more invested in the attraction than the old Swiss Family Robinson movie theme it started with.
Random Musing #6: The other ride that I took a pass on this time (other than the multitude of rides that were closed) was Matterhorn Bobsleds. The last time I rode it the track was so rough that I was wrecked after I unfolded myself from the bobsled. That is one roller coaster that desperately needs to be re-tracked. I honestly don't understand why it hasn't happened yet. Heaven only knows they have zero problem shutting down rides at Disneyland.
Random Musing #7: One ride that I have ridden exactly once and never again is the Mad Tea Party. I have never understood how people manage to survive that ride. I didn't get sick the first time, but I did walk off of it wishing that I had never gotten on it.
Random Musing #8: It still amazes me how all the Fantasyland dark rides made such incredible use of the small amount of space they were given. All those twists and turns really extend the length of the attraction! My favorite of these is Peter Pan's Flight where they use the sail on Captain Hook's ship to divide one room into two scenes in a way that's beyond brilliant.
Random Musing #9: While I still think that Tiana's Bayou Adventure is a serious downgrade from Splash Mountain, I will say that the Disneyland version is better than its Walt Disney World counterpart. It's got less dead space making it feel not so empty. That being said, the ride still makes no sense. Plus the final Tiana animatronic was busted to shit... she was totally frozen except her mouth, looking like she was wearing a straightjacket under her dress.
Random Musing #10: Just for the record... I still think that Soarin' Around the World is not as good of an experience as the original Soarin' was. I hear they bring it back during the "Food & Wine Festival," so maybe I'll have to head back down one of these years.
Random Musing #11: One of the best rollercoasters in the Disneyland Resort (after Big Thunder and Space Mountain, of course) was California Screamin'. And while I didn't mind them re-theming it for more of a Disney-branded experience, I am mad that they did such a cheap-ass, ugly job of it. I had seen it in photos and thought "Well, maybe it's not so bad when you're riding it at top speed..." but it is. Whether it's the stupid "babies on sticks" or the horrific way that characters are cut off to fit spaces, everything about this is pathetic. Re-theming is fine when it makes sense, but at least put the money into it to do it right. You're Disney.
Random Musing #12: Since California Adventure is pretty much turning into a Pixar theme park, they've made some changes since I was last there. The biggest being the 2023 changing of "Pacific Wharf" to "San Fransokyo Square" out of the movie Big Hero 6. I have zero complaints, because I still don't understand why you would want to go to a California theme park when you're already in California. But anyway... I was quite happy that it wasn't done shoddily, like Incredicoaster was. It actually looks really good...
And there it is. My trip to Disneyland is over for you just like it is for me!
It's a rainy post-vacation weekend, but we're all good... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• Jack is Back! God how I love Reacher. The third season just started on Amazon Prime. Alan Ritchson was born to play the part. And the fact that Amazon.com Prime Video puts the money into adapting the stories, and casting good actors, and making it look like a million bucks... well... the show is perfect. If you like action serials, you need to be checking it out...
I am beyond elated that they've already renewed the show for a fourth season. I really wish that they would shoot two series back-to-back each year and get them backlogged so we could get as many of the books shot as possible before Ritchson wants to reture from such a punishing role. Heaven only knows that Amazon can afford it. They're blowing a billion dollars on the gut-wrenchingly awful prequel series to Lord of the Rings travesty.
• Short Round! If you don't adore Ke Huy Quan and find joy in his renewed success after watching this, then I don't know what to say to you...
The guy just released a new movie and has four more coming up, so I guess everybody does adore him.
• LIES! If you know me, you know I LOVE a good advertisement. This one featuring the main three characters from The Californians (Bill Hader, Kristen Wiig, andFred Armisen) from SNL is absolutely perfect...
But it gets better... the leading comment on the video is "STOP SPREADING LIES SNL! The PCH is closed at Santa Monica due to the fires. Stuart would need to take the 5 to the 405 to the 101 then exit Kanan to reconnect to the PCH to get to Point Dume where this is filmed. WUUUUHT ERRRRR YOUUUUU DOOOING?" — Priceless. I still think the Betty White appearance at the SNL 40th Anniversary is my favorite The Californians sketches with its stacked cameos...
How awesome would it be if this was an actual limited series? Peacock needs to make it happen.
• Death to Pennies! President Trump has been doing a lot of heinous shit (I mean, my God), but amongst all that he said we're going to stop making pennies, which is something that should have happened over a decade ago, so okay then...
Here's CGP Grey's original video from 13 years ago on the subject, which brought me onboard killing the penny...
Now if he can do away with changing the fucking clocks twice a year and either make Daylight Saving Time permanent or, ideally, split the difference and have us Spring Forward or Fall Back a half hour... that would be great.
• Good Bye Miss Yvonne! Lynne Marie Stewart, best known for her role as "Miss Yvonne" on Pee-Wee's Playhouse and "Bonnie" on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, has died...
My favorite thing she's done, however, is this hilarious guest appearance on SNL writer Jimmy Fowlie's series Go-Go Boy Interrupted...
Rest in Peace... you made us laugh, and that's a gift that will never pass.
• Carr Ride! Look, I know that Jimmy Carr is highly problematic. That's his entire brand. You know what you're getting into when you tune in because he's never not offensive to somebody. He works hard to be offensive! That being said, the guy is a brilliant comedian if you get what he's trying to do. His latest "Heckle Amnesty" video is amazing...
What gets me is that Jimmy isn't just finding comedy at the expense others... he goes out of his way to find comedy at the expense of himself. Which is why I find him funny. No, I don't think he's as talented as people who are able to find comedy without punching down on anybody at all (Nate Bargatze is the current king in my book). But this kid is doing alright...
I gotta say... with all the punching down on the trans community by comedians, it's refreshing to find those doing the work to be inclusive. This is what laughing with a person instead of at a person looks like. Yeah, he struggles a bit to get those jokes formed because it's a new situation for him... but he's trying his best to adapt without bigotry and, to me, it seems as though he's succeeding.
• TransAmerican! I am trying my best to take a seat and renew my efforts to listen to what marginalized communities are facing day-to-day. I have a couple trans friends who mean a lot to me, so I've been subscribing to some trans video channels to help me to understand their lives better. In the Year of Our Lord 2025 in these United States of America, I don't get why people who contribute to society, pay their taxes, and live their life the best they can with the cards they were dealt, are actively persecuted just for existing. A lot of lies and misinformation gets peddled against trans persons, and it makes no sense to me. I guess sending unwarranted hate to others makes a good distraction to keep people from looking at what you're doing? I dunno. In any event, this is a good video to watch if you're wondering what a small group of your fellow Americans are dealing with right now...
I wish I understood how we got to where we're at.
Onwards and upwards...
I needed something good today.
And it doesn't get more better gooder than the new trailer for Andor Season 02. No joke. The first season is not just some of the best Star Wards ever made... it's actually some of the best television ever made. Period.
It's dropping April 22, and here's the trailer...
This series is such a gift. That it will end this final season by leading directly into Star Wars: Rogue One (another favorite Star Wars thing I love) is just the icing on the cake.
I was very sad to hear that Roberta Flack died.
She was a phenomenal talent, and her impressive number of beloved hits backs that up. And while people may think of tracks like Feel Like Makin' Love and Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow and Killing Me Softly With His Song... my favorite songs of hers are the duets. Set the Night to Music (from Starship) and Back Together Again are at the top of that list. They hit you in all the right ways...
She had other duets that are great too (Where is the Love and Tonight I Celebrate My Love and The Closer I Get to You come to mind). She just had the ability to mesh with other artists in a way that made her a queen.
The older I get, the more I find myself appreciating the little things that make life worth living.
The other day I was taking a break from the horrors of existence and scrolling through Instagram. Their algorithm is crap (repeating stuff way, way too often that I've already seen many times), but every once in a while something new pops up that makes a visit worthwhile.
Yesterday it was this...
I want a snow duck mold! Can you imagine running across something like this on a snowy day?
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