I'm building build building this weekend, but I haven't forgot about you, dear reader... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• DestructiPad! Apple introduced their amazing new iPads in the worst way possible. To illustrate how this miracle device is capable of a huge number of creative endeavors, from music to art to research, they released a commercial where a massive hydraulic press squishes musical instruments, art supplies, and other physical tools into nothingness. And they let you see the destruction in excruciating, closeup detail...
Now, I get what they were trying to do... but holy shit. Who thought this ad which celebrates the death of physical creativity would be a good idea? The first thing I thought was "Do they not speak with foreign culture consultants before releasing their ads?" Because the first thing I thought of was... there are cultures where creative tools are revered, and destroying them like this is an unforgivable act. And, sure enough, the outrage was immediate. Particularly from Japan, where something like this is unforgivable. But it should anger anybody who thinks this kind of waste is senseless. Apple ultimately apologized, but it is crazy to me that they were so stupid as to do this in the first place. They could have animated it... or used cardboard cut-out representations... or anything where the actual objects weren't destroyed.
• MaxiPad! Tone-deaf commercial aside, the new iPads are incredble. The display, the power, the larger size, the new stylus... it's a digital creator's dram come true. I don't use my iPad enough to justify buying a new one (I have a 2020 iPad Pro), but was curious to know how much my ideal iPad configuration with accessories would cost. It's $2000... not including AppleCare. But no worries... Apple will give me $65 to trade in my old iPad Pro! Yikes. I'll just wait for the MacBook Pro M4, thanks.
• Exit! Okay. Dang. Sometimes short films have more impact per second than a multi-million dollar flick...
This brilliantly illustrates how a film doesn't necessarily have to take its time and build up characters into fully-realized people in order to be entertaining. Sure traditional long-form movies are my preferred way to experience a story, but running into something like this shows that it's not the only way to tell a story. If you haven't seen it yet, be sure to check out my last short film pick, Two Strangers Meet Five Times.
• THERE IT IS! And... scene...
Here's the thing: I have never had a desire to wear nail polish. It's never been my thing, even when I was into cultures where it was a part. But seeing all these snowflakes getting so triggered by FUCKING NAIL POLISH makes me actually want to start wearing it. The idea that guys can't accessorize their appearance without being trashed by the toxic masculinity brigade is absurd. Why the fuck are people so invested in what other people are doing with their appearance? Let them do them and you do you. It's not that hard to ignore shit that makes others happy that you wouldn't do for yourself.
• EXIT SLOW! Ah yes. The Union Street exit in Seattle. I have taken it many times. And have seen people nearly lose control many times. Never seen a crash... but I believe they happen often because of how it's designed. Some guy set up a camera to catch accidents of cars taking the exit too fast, and they do indeed happen often...
You'd think that people driving in an area that they are unfmiliar with would be following all suggested speed signs rather than ignoring them. Odds are, there's a reason that they tell you to slow way down.
• More Runner! One of my most favorite films of all time is Blade Runner 2049. It shocks me to this day that it wasn't a massive blockbuster success. This is the film that genius-director Denis Villeneuve made before his celebrated Dune films, and it's equally phenomenal. This week it was annonced that Amazon Prime Video is making a sequel series... WITH MICHELLE FUCKING YEOH!!! I gotta tell you, I have no idea when Blade Runner 2099 is going to happen, but I am already looking forward to seeing it. If it's even half as good as 2049, it will be well worth the wait.
• NEWSFLASH: Ted Cruz Called Automatic Airline Refunds a ‘Dumb Idea.’ Senators Disagreed. Do you think that if Ted Cruz blows enough airline executives he can take his next Cancún vacation for free? The refund is not immediate-immediate. It's only if your flight has been significantly delayed and you don't rebook another flight to replace it. The only thing this changes is that you don't have to fill out a bunch of paperwork and let the airline string your along forever... or issue you some stupid credit that you'll never use before it expires. Where the fuck does this boot-licker asshole come up with this outrageous shit? Do people even believe his ridiculous crap anymore? Ted Cruz is a fucking embarrassment, and the fact that he still has a job shocks the shit out of me. Republicans don't think that they deserve to get their money back with a minimum of inconvenience when they get fucked over by over-bookings or maintenance failures or whatever? Get real.
And now back to hammering...
Jenny is getting to be more of a problem with food than Jake ever was. If Jake is slow to his bowl when the food drops, Jenny will eat hers... then his. It's so bad that I get up and call Jake over so he gets to eat. But this week there's been a new wrinkle. When Jenny sees that Jake is finally coming, she will stop eating her food... then go to his bowl to eat because there's more food there. Jake gets whatever she didn't get around to eating. I can't even be mad because that's a pro move right there. But there's going to come a time when she's too smart for her own good... and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle that.
Also? My cats have started talking. Quite a lot. If Jenny thinks I'm taking too long brushing my teeth and she want me in bed so she can get petted? Meows. So many meows. Jake can't meow, but he whines and frets and squeaks and wails. ZOMG the wailing. This past week I just walked in the door and he comes running up to be petted. I have to sit a bunch of stuff on the counter first, so I walk by him. He exploded with wailing. You'd think that I kicked him. In the face! Then... once I have my hands free and start giving him a rub-down? All the squeaks.
Cats only get more nuts with age. What will they be like in five years?
There's a dogwood tree in my front yard. It's been here since I bought the place and I've tried my best to take good care of it. From what I can tell, it's thriving, because I've been careful to make sure it gets food and adequate water. Most of the time, however, it's not a great-looking tree. Better than nothing, but not what I would have picked to look at out my front window.
Except for one week in the Spring when it's in bloom...
For that tiny window, it's a glorous sight to behold. Stunning, really.
Except it never lasts. One day it's in full-bloom, then a couple days later all the petals are falling off at a rapid clip and soon it will be back to its normal self. At least it will still have leaves for a while. Because after the leaves are gone as well, it's back to something bordering on depressing to look at.
I am choosing not to dwell on that, however, because yesterday the repairs on my home were completed... after six years! No more holes in walls and ceilings. And, as God is my witness, there will be no more furniture and other junk scattered around the house after this weekend. I don't care if it kills me, I'm moving everything back to where it belongs, and hanging all the pictures back up on the walls, and scrubbing all the construction dust from walls, floors, and furniture. I am done with my home looking like an episode of Hoarders gone wrong.
And then it's time to start work on the many projects I've got left to do now that I can actually do them.
Last weekend I rebuilt my coat closet so that I can have the Litter-Robot in the bottom while still hanging coats up above it with a protective barrier. I even managed to fit a small shelf above the closet rod, which was something I didn't know if I would be able to do. It ain't much, but it's enough space to put a basket of gloves, scarves, and other seasonal crap that need a place to go when I'm not using them. Not surprisingly, I did a far, far better job with my construction than the original builders did. I took the time to do it right, even though it's just a closet that nobody will look at. This wasn't easy because the door opening is askew and the walls are bowing in and out. It was like trying to build in a funhouse room of mirrors. But after warping board with a steamer, making sure all the screws were recessed and filled, and coming up with something that looked level despite that being impossible... I have something I'm very happy with.
Next weekend I'll start building the access panel covers and other stuff that's been a long time coming.
Who knows... by Winter I may just have a house that looks like a home.
Saving money now-a-days is a necessity for most people. Sadly this has resulted in my losing some entertainment options I used to enjoy, but I have much better use for the money. To add insult to injury, it can be tough to decide what you're going to cut.
Fortunately, some businesses are making my tough decisions for me. Like Netflix!
Right now I am on an ad-free "Basic" plan with Netflix. It's highly limited... just 720p quality and can only stream on one device at a time... but I hang onto it because I fucking detest ads... plus I like a lot of what Netflix has available. No, I don't think that I am getting $11.99 worth of value from it, but I don't cancel because there's no way to ever get "Basic" back again...
But, alas, Netflix is saying that the "Basic" plan is going to be killed off once and for all sometime soon. At which point I'll have a choice to make...
So let's do the math. Currently Netflix gets $144 a year out of me. Far more than I want to pay, but it is what it is. But after "Basic" is removed? They will get $32 a year at most. I'll buy a month once or twice a year and call it good. Which is to say that Netflix is going to lose $112 a year. Stupid as fuck of them. But ads are so profitable, right?
I guess I should be thanking Netflix, because I could use that extra $112 annually.
He was trapped in a region of non-stop war in Syria, but did his best to help people and feed cats in the area. And died there after joking about having dug his own grave.
It's a good thing I'm not God. Because I'm telling you right now, there would be no hiding from my wrath. Nothing could save you. I would wipe all violent aggressors off the face of the fucking earth without so much as a thought. One minute you're killing innocent civilians and cats... then next minute you would find yourself transported to the surface of the sun.
Which kinda begs the question... where is God in the middle of things like this anyway?
Definitely not in Syria, that's for sure.
Just when I think that I couldn't hate Sonos more than I already do... they unleash this new shitty fucking app that's somehow even shittier than their previous shitty fucking app.
Why in the hell can't they hire a UI designer who actually knows how to craft a useable UI? Because I've only been using this heinous blight on all humanity for two hours and I've found so much wrong as to make me wonder what the fuck they're even doing.
I'm dying to know: Does ANYBODY at Sonos actually listen to fucking music using this piece of shit? Who would want this? Pathetic. Fucking pathetic. After waiting YEARS to get an app update that's worth a shit... then getting this fucking disaster... I'm ready to throw all my Sonos gear in the front yard, douse it with gasoline, and light the fuckers up. I'd rather listen to music on a fucking iPod mini than suffer through this idiot shitshow any longer. It's just fucking inconceivable that this is where Sonos is at. Will they fix all the shit that's broken, unclear, and missing? Maybe. But shouldn't they have beta tested the app before releasing it? Well, it's Sonos. It took them a fucking YEAR to release a fix for the Pop of Death on the Arc soundbar, and I'm still not convinced that it's totally fixed because I am still having problems. So you do the math. Shake that Magic 8-Ball and the answer always seems to be "Not fucking likely."
If you're thinking of buying Sonos gear, you should take a fucking pass. A hard pass. If things keep going like this, they're not going to be around much longer anyway.
UPDATES!
Before I get to some more thoughts about this shit... can I just give a shoutout to all the people saying "Relax, it's version 1 and things will get fixed" and "Relax, it works just fine for me!" Fuck you. There are BASIC FUNCTIONS THAT ARE SERIOUSLY BROKEN OR MISSING! If I had the option of downgrading to the old app, then I'd say "Well that was bad!" and be able to relax. But I can't. And goody for you if it works for you... that doesn't fucking negate the problems that everybody else is having. Take several seats and be happy that your whole system didn't go down and all the basic features other people use are something you don't give a shit about.
But anyway...
On the Sonos site they have a feature list which shows all kinds of options you get when you click on a track...
But what do I get? Save to favorites (which may or may not play when clicked on) and replace the entire fucking queue. That's it...
I can only guess that all those other basic features aren't working, and rather than getting it all fixed before release, Sonos decided to shove out an incomplete fucking app with no way to go back to the old app which, while shitty, allowed all of this.
One of the biggest complaints by others is that they can no longer see music on their local network storage. Support for this has been dropped completely. This is nonsensical in all kinds of ways, but fortunately I get around it by having Plex manage my media, and Plex is actually showing up and working (despite having a red exclamation point in the button with absolutely no explanation). Sonos's response seems to be "Don't you even stream, bro?" which has left a great many users thrilled, as you can imagine.
A minor annoyance... whenever I go to System Settings, I fly into a panic because I think a bunch of my gear has gone missing from the system. My room will show "Stereo Pair" which is normal because there's two speakers joined into a stereo pair there. But my living room will show "Arc" and that's it. It used to be "Arc + Surrounds + Sub" or something like that. I wish that they would go back to that. With so many people losing equipment out of the app, I'd really prefer not to get assaulted with this incomplete info.
When you opened up the Sonos app away from your home network in the past, you'd get a message that said something like "Searching for your Sonos network." Now, this doesn't happen. Assumably because Sonos is all about internet connectivity for some reason. And that would be fine... except it doesn't reflect the current state of your devices back home. According to the widget, Karma by Taylor Swift is playing in my bedroom. The little bouncing equalizer icon is bouncing... and I am given the option to pause what's being played. Except nothing is actually being played. Which is why this whole internet connectivity fiasco is so fucking ridiculous. It appears that EVERYTHING goes out on the internet, even when you're at home. That's why it takes forever for shit to load. And why when you scroll through your queue it has to keep pausing and loading... pausing and loading... pausing and loading. I suppose that Sonos could justify this huge fucking waste of time if they could point to the app and say "SURE IT'S SLOW! BUT YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR SYSTEM FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD!" Except you can't. It gives wrong information and none of the controls even work.
To actually control your system remotely, you have to use the internet and login at http://play.sonos.com. This will be the only option available on desktop computers once Sonos kills the desktop apps, so you'd think that the web app would be fucking killer, right? Yeah... you'd think that. Except the web app is just as fucking useless and broken as the phone app. It is equally slow with a lot of waiting around for things to load. Even if you're sitting in the same fucking room as your speaker, since the controls have to go out onto the internet, visit the Sonos servers, then come back to you. No option for local network control. But it gets worse. Remember how I was mentioning that search on the iPhone app if fucking abhorrent? Somehow the web app is even worse. At least in the iPhone app you can select the service you want to search. But if you select a service in the web app, there's no search bar on the service sheet. You are forced to use the universal search bar to search all services (including Sonos fucking Radio that they won't let you fucking delete no matter how badly you want to)...
It's been well-established that I fucking loathe Sonos and don't recommend their bullshit... even if you find their gear on clearance. At least right now. But there's a few things that Sonos can do which would at least make things tolerable...
But given Sonos's history, I am holding out zero hope that anything gets resolved quickly... if at all. They have long since stopped giving a fuck about their products, their reputation, and their customers.
Okay... okay...
James Gunn is out here teasing us with this epic shot promoting the upcoming Superman movie. It's just so... brilliant. Just another mundane day for Superman having to go save the world! I haven't been this excited about a DC movie in over a decade...
Seriously. The last DC movies that were worth a shit was Wonder Woman in 2017 and The Suicide Squad in 2021. I wasn't looking forward to Wonder Woman because I thought it was an extension of the shitty, dark, joyless shit that Zack Snyder had been crapping out of his ass. It took me completely by surprise when it actually ended up being a decent flick.
Here's hoping.
I'm in full-on construction mode here in my home, but have no fear... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• Shield Gate! Yesterday I mentioned that every time I watch Rogue One: A Star Wars Story I go running to the internet to watch the super-cut of all the space battles because they're just so cool and amazing to look at. And here you go...
You're welcome! Dang pushing the Star Destroyer into the Shield Gate was brilliant fun.
• Acolyte! The big news out of yesterday was that Star Wars gave us a peek at new Star Wars on Star Wars Day...
Looks darn good! But I'm so used to being shown the best bits of the show in the trailer, then finding out that it's nothing like what they showed us. So I guess we'll see.
• Mazes Got Nuthin' on This! I fell down a rabbit hole of videos of crows being geniuses. Then octopi. And then... rats?!?
Rats driving a car. Who knew?
• Dementia Village! The dementia care home I found for my mom wasn't a sterile, boring, hospital-like place. It looked more like a home with different textures and colors and interesting things to look at... other patients to visit with. Her room was likewise nothing like a hospital room, and could be filled with all her stuff so it felt familiar. The hallways was in a big loop so she couldn't get lost. For what it was, I thought it was quite nice. The only thing missing was a way for her to wander outside and look around. And idea which was has been explored by this Dutch facility, which is incredible...
As happy as I was with the facility I found for my mom, I would have been thrilled if she could have stayed in a place like this. So much more friendly. I really hope these "dementia villages" catch on.
• Hulk Smash! The Incredible Hulk Coaster at Universal Studios Islands of Adventure Orlando is hands-down my favorite rollercoaster. I rode it the year it debuted, then rode it plenty more times over the years (one visit to the park I rode it five times!). This video talks about the coaster, and I've skipped past all the non-Hulk-Coaster crap at the beginning...
I did ride it after the refurbishment, and was impressed. They kept the classic coaster everybody loves... just made the experience better from start to finish. No other coaster I've ridden since has compared to it. Not bad for a coaster 25 years old!
• AI FAIL! I had the same thing to say about both the Humane AI Pin and the Rabbit R1: "Once Apple & Google unleash AI assistants on their phones, all these additional gadgets are toast." But this was before either of these devices were released to horrific reviews. They're useless. Snazzy Labs has a great overview of both devices at the same time so you only have to watch one video...
The Humane AI Pin was fucking useless on paper and is worse than useless in practice. I was a little more bullish about the Rabbit R1 because it at least had a screen to interact with stuff and sounded like it had a better service. But it turns out that it's worse than useless too. Which is to say that Apple & Google are winning before they've even released anything. How boring.
• Fuck This Fucking Fuck! I gotta say... watching puppy-killing piece of shit Kristi Noem getting dragged from one end of the internet to the other is the best thing ever. She murders animals not because she needs food or is in danger... but because she just fucking loves to kill (surrendering your "problem" puppy to an animal shelter means you can't kill it, so she must love it)...
I hope her political career is truly toast, because a sadistic fuck like this has no business holding any political office. If she thrills to kill a fucking puppy... can you imagine what she would do to make lives harder for people she doesn't like? And now she's blaming all her lies and bullshit on her ghost-writer. Which is hilarious given that SHE NARRATED HER OWN AUDIOBOOK AND KNEW FULL WELL WHAT IT CONTAINED! That happened after she fucking lied about staring down Kim Jong Un. Jesus what a dipshit asshole.
And now back to construction, already in progress.
After my last girlfriend and I split, I texted her to tell her that she left her memory foam pillow. She told me it was a cheap one that she didn't really like so I could keep it or toss it. I remember thinking AHAAAA! It wasn't that we didn't have common interests that broke us up... it was this stupid pillow!"
I made a mental note to toss it because I had my Ghost Pillow, but it sat there on her side of the bed for weeks (making it more of a ghost pillow than my actual Ghost Pillow) because I didn't have to change the pillowcase.
Then at some point Jenny started laying on it, so then I couldn't toss it. Instead I had to start changing the pillowcase again.
On Wednesday when I was making my weekly linens change, I decided to remove the pillow and put it in the cat's room. No sense constantly reminding myself that the only relationship in my life is my cats.
Well, I'm sure you know what happened next.
That night when I went up to bed, Jenny charged ahead like she usually does. After brushing my teeth, I went into my bedroom and... saw that Jenny was laying on my pillow. Because of course she was.
And so now her pillow is back on my bed so
Some ghosts can't be busted, I guess.
My obsession with Star Wars is approaching 50 years (in 2027). The original film is a defining childhood experience for me, and I've been reading the books and comics, watching the movies and shows, and playing the games ever since.
Being a Star Wars fan can be a frustrating ordeal because there has been so much shit shoveled on top of the franchise over the years. But even so, my love of it all triumphs, and I can never get enough of the stuff. Tomorrow being "Star Wars Day" means that I will spend a good chunk of it revisiting things. This year I've decided it will be the five chronological films running from Solo through Return of the Jedi. I had already watched the sequel trilogy back in March. If there's time tomorrow, I will watch the good moments from the prequel trilogy as well (that'll take about 15 minutes).
I also decided to revisit my Star Wars movie ranking chart. But there really wasn't a need, because only one film really needs to be moved...
And here's a new run-down of my thoughts on all the movies above...
Solo: A Star Wars Story When I first saw the film, I thrilled to see Daniel Glover's exceptional take on Lando Calrissian... but not much else. The story was too convoluted and was, for the most part, unnecessary for Star Wars as a whole. Yeah, we get to see some of the throwaway stuff from the earlier films, but did we really need to see it? But over the years my opinion has changed. I was able to appreciate it as just a fun story that happened to be in the Star Wars universe as opposed to judging it solely as a Star Wars movie. There's some really cool action sequences and interesting ideas which make it a worthwhile addition to the franchise.
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Given the mess that went on behind the scenes, it's a miracle that this movie worked as well as it did. Lucasfilm/Disney wasn't thrilled with what Gareth Edwards had done and brought in Tony Gilroy to rework it. Entire sequences were added, deleted, and changed. The result is not without problems, but it's a great film and incredible Star Wars. The Battle of Scarif... both on the ground and in the space above... is peak Star Wars for me. Every time I see the movie I go running to YouTube to find the fan edits which focus only on the space battle to disable the shield gate. Amazing, amazing stuff. As if that weren't all enough, you get to see the ultimate Darth Vader sequence and a poignant ending which was a huge punch to the gut that sent Star Wars in a direction that made it something... more.
Star Wars IV: A New Hope The movie that melted my brain as a kid doesn't really hold up in several areas, but is still a landmark movie that I love to an irrational degree. After rebelling against the Special Edition forever, I mostly watch that version now because cleaning up the special effects is just too important to ignore. I am still hoping that one day a version of the film which only cleans up the special effects of the original cut is released in 4K... jettisoning the stupid shit like Greedo firing first and Han meeting with Jabba. That's the dream. I don't for the life of me understand why Disney just doesn't fucking do it already. No need to respect George Lucas's wishes after he's talked shit about them... so just give everybody what they want.
Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back The greatest Star Wars movie in existence by a wide margin, Empire was a serious take on sci-fi fantasy that Irvin Kershner managed to complete before George Lucas fucked up the franchise by making it about selling kiddie toys instead of being about Star Wars. Leigh Brackett and Lawrence Kasdan took Lucas's story idea and made it a mature, smart, nuanced screenplay that worked so beautifully that you got a serious taste of exactly what Star Wars could and should be. Easily in my top five movies of all time, this is what I think about when I think about Star Wars.
Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi Here we go. The first step in George Lucas utterly shitting on everything Star Wars which came before. It's all about kiddie toys now, which is why we get nonsensical teddy bear Ewoks and other unnecessary character additions... plus a long slide into stupid shit like burp and fart jokes. I'm assuming all the coolest stuff... like the final battle between Luke and Anakin, and that epic space battle... were all thanks to Lawrence Kasdan's effort to make something Star Wars fans would actually want to watch, but who knows? While I still love this film simply because it's Star Wars and completes the trilogy, I also loathe it for how it took an unfuckable franchise and so thoroughly fucks it up. All because George Lucas had an agreement to keep all the money from the toy sales, and he wanted money instead of good movies. Which brings us to...
TIME PERMITTING, THESE PREQUEL SCENES...
Duel of the Fates from Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace Look, I'm just going to come out and say it... the prequel trilogy fucking sucks. Stupid, boring ideas revolving around political shenanigans. Groan-inducing, horrific dialogue. Pathological abuse of green-screen. Catastrophic avoidance of practical effects. These are bad fan films, not Star Wars. That being said, there are moments that you love to see. The battle between Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Darth Maul is fun to watch, so instead of torturing myself by watching the entire movie, I usually fast-forward through Anakin's insufferable journey (YIPEEEE!!) and, God help us, Jar Jar Binks, so I can just watch the moments that don't suck. Of which there are precious few.
Bounty Hunter Chase and Yoda vs. Dooku from Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones Everything that sucked about Phantom Menace is in full effect here. Plus... they sabotaged both Padmé and Obi-Wan by making them plain stupid. For the longest time I put a lot of my loathing for this film on Hayden Christensen's crappy, whiny Anakin Skywalker... but after seeing his subsequent appearances in the Obi-Wan and Ahsoka series, it's VERY clear that it wasn't his acting ability that was lacking... it was the shitty script he had to work with. That being said, that thrilling bounty hunter chase after the attempt on Padmé's life through the skies of Coruscant... and that amazing (and unexpected) fight between Yoda and Dooku... both were =chef's kiss=. This movie is filled with so much "if only" that it's almost criminal. The biggest being that we finally had an opportunity to see the Jedi at the height of their power and abilities in the Battle of Geonosis... only to get this massive wet fart of a "fight" which was just Jedi using "force push" a lot and waving their lightsabers in the most boring fucking way possible. I was expecting to see Jedi antics that made it vividly clear why they were so feared and respected. What I got was literally the opposite of that. Boring.
Palpatine Rescue from Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith Despite an abundance of stupid shit and bad ideas, I regularly rank Sith above Jedi because at least the burp and fart jokes were on the decline here. And that opening where Obi-Wan and Anakin rescue Palpatine in the middle of a massive space battle was almost too good to be true. Everything after that was a bit of a mess. Sure we got that infamous fight between Obi-Wan and Anakin, and there was also Yoda vs. Palpatine, but by that point it was really too late to save this movie, which ultimately added nothing we needed to see to the Star Wars story.
WATCHED ALREADY BACK IN MARCH...
Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens The sequel trilogy actually got off to a fairly good start despite some major missteps and too many retread moments from the original trilogy. I liked Rey quite a bit. I loved BB-8. Starkiller Base was a nice escalation of the Death Star. The action sequences weren't spectacular, but were fun to watch. This wasn't a great movie, but it was a good one that I enjoyed. I just wish it were smarter, as too many things about it were weak.
Star Wars VIII: The Last Jedi It's just... why? Rian Johnson is a very capable writer and director. He had a golden opportunity to do something interesting with Star Wars. But this is what we got? This? With the exception of that wonderful sequence where Holdo uses hyperspace as a weapon, the only things I remember from the film are all bad. Poe's child-like defiance. Kylo and Rey's horribly-choreographed battle in the throne room. Luke Skywalker being wasted then discarded for nothing. That stupid-ass casino heist nonsense on Canto Bight. Snoke being thrown out like garbage as if he wasn't originally orchestrated as this massive threat. And, worst of all, stupid fucking SPACE LEIA?!? And then... then... that final sequence with the little boy and the broom completely tossing everything we know about Jedi training in the trash. It's all just so awful.
Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker While this was an improvement over the previous flick, it still wasn't a very good movie. The whole MacGuffin chase for the Sith Wayfinder nonsense made for a mediocre plot. Palpatine's return and revelation that he's Rey's grandpa were plain stupid (assumably since Snoke got killed off last film, this was the best they could do for a villain?). The death and return of three separate characters (Chewbacca, C-3PO, and Rey... and an argument could be made to toss Palpatine, Leia, and Luke in that mix) made it look as if J.J. Abrams didn't have any ideas left. In the end too many moments were fan service instead of story service. Plus there's the relative simplicity that the whole evil plot is wrapped up (not to mention the stupid way it was accomplished), and this was a relatively anticlimactic end to an anticlimactic trilogy that didn't really give us much new to justify it happening in the first place.
And that's that for my big Star Wars plans. At some point I really want to re-read some of the best Star Wars books (starting with the Thrawn Trilogy). I definitely want to rewatch the incredible Andor first season before the second season arrives (seriously, if that show were a movie, it would rank right up there with Rogue One for how incredible it is. I think I'd also like to run through the LEGO Star Wars games.
In any event, May the 4th be with you.
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