I would have bet one million dollars that the special interest lobbyist pig-fuckers representing AT&T, Comcast, Time Warner, Cox, and all the other internet provider assholes buying off our corrupt politicians would have killed net neutrality by now.

So imagine my surprise...

Photo by Brendan Smialowski/AFP/Getty Images

FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler: This Is How We Will Ensure Net Neutrality

Of course, this is not to say that internet freedom has been won... I'm sure pig-fucking lobbyists representing internet conglomerate assholes haven't even begun to explore new ways to buy control of the internet from our corrupt politicians.

Where there's billions of dollars, there's a way, after all.

In the meanwhile, however... surprisingly good news on the net neutrality front. A public utility it is. For now

Not surprisingly, there's still a bunch of politicians with their lips firmly planted on Comcast/AT&T/Time Warner/Cox cock that have escalated their hand-wringing about how net-neutrality is bad for the internet. Remedial Senator and All-Around Dumbass Ted Cruz went so far as to label it "ObamaCare for the Internet." I have no idea what the hell that's supposed to mean... but apparently it's bad.

Bad how?

Well... the arguments seem to go like this...

• HOLY FUCKBALLS! WE'VE JUST HANDED OVER CONTROL OF THE INTERNET TO THE GOVERNMENT! Except... not really. This is not so much the government "controlling" anything as it is them making sure data is kept free. Since all data is going to be treated equally from here on out, control of the internet resides with the American people using it. THEY get to decide what is a priority to them. Without net neutrality, control would reside with companies like AT&T, Comcast, Time Warner, and Cox... all of whom would be able to dictate which data has priority, which data is worth more money to access, and even if certain data could be accessed at all.
• NET NEUTRALITY IS UNFAIR! BANDWIDTH-HOGGING USERS PAY THE SAME AS REGULAR USERS! This is about the stupidest thing I've heard in a long while. Show of hands... who honestly thinks that AT&T, Comcast, Time Warner, and Cox would lower prices for customers who use less bandwidth? Anyone? Anyone? Didn't think so. Remember... these are the same assholes who won't let you pay for only the channels you want to watch when it comes to cable television. They bundle bunches of channels together so they can suck the most money possible out of their customers. These are the same assholes who charge outrageous fees for cellular text messages, even though the cost of delivering them is practically negligible. These are the same assholes who are eliminating unlimited data plans as a way of getting more money out of their data users... bit by bit. Make no mistake... no mistake... the only thing that would change if net-neutrality were defeated is that prices for some (most?) users would go up. Sure they'd undoubtedly offer a token "low bandwidth" plan... but anybody thinking it would serve their average user is seriously deluded.
• IT'S ANTI-COMPETITION! IF EVERYBODY HAS TO OFFER THE SAME DEAL, THEN WHERE IS THE INCENTIVE TO INNOVATE AND COMPETE? Crazy talk. Just because all data has to be treated the same, who says that internet providers can't charge more money for higher internet access speeds to that data? Oh... wait a second... MOST OF THEM ALREADY DO! ISP competition is offering more for your money versus other ISPs. When I walk into my local cable company, there's huge posters splashed everywhere saying "OUR INTERNET IS 20 TIMES FASTER THAN DSL!" How in the hell is net neutrality going to threaten that? Assuming you have a choice where you live, the company offering the best access speed for the best price has an advantage over your other choices. Net neutrality isn't going to change that.
• NOW BIG COMPANIES HAVE A STRONGER MONOPOLY AND NEW ISPs CAN'T BREAK INTO THE MARKET! I actually had to have somebody explain this to me, it made so little sense. The idea is that some brilliant company comes along with a new and innovative ways of accessing the internet for less money... but their method involves charging more for some services than others. Since net neutrality forbids this, they never get to open their doors and their brilliant internet access technology is denied to people forever. Well, okay, it still makes no sense to me, but I'll give it a shot. The only way that current ISPs could possibly be a bigger monopoly than they already are would be if AT&T, Comcast, Time Warner, and Cox merged into one company. Period. No little company is ever going to have a chance because the stakes are too high for the big guys to ever allow a loss. Otherwise we'd have new cable companies popping up which allow their customers to pay for television channels ala carte. How do I know? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODY WANTS! It would take a massively huge company... like Apple or Facebook or Google... to break up what we have now. Net neutrality ain't changing that either. Unfortunately.
• BANDWIDTH IS A FINITE RESOURCE. IF YOU CAN'T REGULATE BANDWIDTH BY BEING ABLE TO CHARGE MORE FOR THOSE WHO USE IT THE MOST, THE INTERNET WILL FAIL, AND CRITICAL SERVICES LIKE EMAIL WILL BE IMPACTED. Yes. That's a terrific reason to create a two-tiered internet where only those who can pay for heavy bandwidth get the luxury of being able to use it! Or... not. You know what's killing email right now? Spam. You know what's going to be killing email after net neutrality is implemented? Spam. And you know what's going to still be killing email once we reach peak bandwidth and emails are delayed or fail to get through? Spam. So when do we fix that problem? You know what's killing the web right now? Viruses. You know what's going to be killing the web after net neutrality is implemented? Viruses. And you know what's going to still be killing the web once we reach peak bandwidth and website pages are delayed or fail to get through? Viruses. So when do we fix that problem? And what about transactions? Fraud. And what about security? Cyberterrorism. Etc. Etc. Etc. So when do we fix those problems? Companies are increasing their bandwidth speed all the time. They have to, or else their customers will go somewhere else. So, yes, if everything stays the same with the internet and nothing is changed or updated, we're headed for a problem. But does anybody actually think that's the case? No. Infrastructure is constantly being improved for the internet just like it's constantly being improved for cellular phones. This is not to say that we won't run into problems... it's technology, after all... but saying net neutrality is going to be the death of the internet is silly when there are even bigger problems with the internet facing us. Like spam. And viruses. And fraud. And cyberterrorism. Etc. Etc. Etc.

And now we come to the NET NEUTRALITY DOESN'T LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD... JUST THE OPPOSITE... IT MAKES IT MORE EXPENSIVE FOR SMALLER COMPANIES USING LESS BANDWIDTH THAN BIG COMPANIES LIKE NETFLIX AND FACEBOOK AND YOUTUBE! part of our blog entry...

I saved this for last, because it's just so outrageously stupid. It costs me $12.70 a month to have this blog hosted on the internet. If I wanted to turn it into a business website, it would still cost me $12.70 a month to get it hosted. Yes, if it became a hugely successful business website that got tons of traffic, I'd have to pay more than $12.70 a month to get it hosted because a successful business costs more to run... such is the price of success, but still... $12.70 a month to start.

I assure you that Netflix, Facebook, and YouTube cost more than $12.70 a month to get hosted. But back to the point...

For $12.70 a month, I have a blog that's every bit as accessible to people on the internet as Netflix, Facebook, and YouTube.

And no matter how many billions of dollars Facebook has, net neutrality ensures that they can't use that money to shut me out. They can't pay to have Facebook load faster than Blogography. They can't pay to have Blogography be unaccessible. It doesn't matter how big of a threat to their bottom line Blogography is, Facebook can't use their massive bankroll to manipulate the internet to make me go away*.

If that's not a level playing field, I don't know what is.

Thanks to the internet and net neutrality, a small startup company can take on companies millions of times their size... starting out at $12.70 a month. And there's nothing those massive companies can do to stop them from being on the internet.

Seriously... if that's not a level playing field, what the fuck is?

I can't for the life of me understand how people like Iris Somberg can sit there with a straight face telling me that it's the opposite of a level playing field. Something tells me her lips must be firmly planted on Comcast/AT&T/Time Warner/Cox cock, because this is so obvious as to be painful.

Yet net neutrality became a reality anyway.

I know. It shocked the hell out of me too.

   

*Of course, if Facebook wanted to pay me millions of dollars directly to make Blogography go away... well... my email address is at the top of the sidebar on every page here.

You're a typical American teenage girl who just wants a normal teenage life where you do typical teenage things and deal with typical teenage stuff. But your dad is the President of the United States, so that plan goes right out the window. Instead you lead a life that's anything but typical. Instead of going to the mall to hang out with friends, for example, you're dragged to some boring press event where your father will be... wait for it... pardoning a turkey. You don't want to spend a chunk of your day listening to dad make groan-inducing cheesy one-liners over a big bird, but you do it anyway because you're told to. Ironically this actually is a "typical teenage experience," because every teenager has to do stuff they don't want to do because their parents tell them to do it.

The difference being that typical teenagers don't have to do stuff in front of the entire country.

So you resign yourself to the fact that you have no choice but to attend the turkey thing and once again set aside your typical teenage dreams so you can live up to the unforgiving expectations of an entire country, if not the entire world. You check to see that your hair is presentable... you make sure you haven't spilled anything on your clothes... and you damn well cover up that zit that mysteriously appeared last night... this is going to be televised nationally, after all.

And then you show up to the stupid turkey event that you didn't want any part of from the very beginning... the same boring turkey event that you've had to go to for the past five years.

Hopefully your friends aren't watching this embarrassing situation.

Hopefully you remember not to pick your nose.

Hopefully it will be over with soon.

Hopefully...

Photo by Jacquelyn Martin/Associated Press

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Photo by... I don't know photo by because Daily Caller doesn't credit people for their work?

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Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images

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Photo by Pablo Martinez Monsivais/Associated Press

Whew. Thank God that's over.

Six down. Two to go.

Now back to your efforts of being a typical teenager try... trying... t...
   

   
Wow. That was kinda harsh. You did your duty to show up. Your clothes were clean. Your hair was presentable. You covered up that zit. You didn't pick your nose. You clapped in all the right places. Sure, you looked bored in spots... you were making bored faces... but this turkey thing was boring as hell. Who can blame you? You did your best to make lame jokes with a big bird look interesting, even this isn't really your thing. You'd rather be at the mall with your friends, right?

But haters gonna hate... so what can you do?

If some staffer for a Republican politician with an axe to grind wants to pathetically unleash her vendetta on a rival politician's kids, That's the way it goes, isn't it?

That's the game you signed up for, right?

Hey! Wait a minute... you didn't sign up for this! Your mom and dad did.

Oh well. You get to live in a really great house. You get to travel the world. You have opportunities that other kids can only dream about. It may not seem worth the trade-offs now, but I'm sure you'll come to appreciate it some day. Maybe.

And maybe... just maybe... next time you're forced into some boring-ass press event you will learn from your critics and live up to the lofty expectations of "class and respect" that people like Elizabeth Lauten expect of you.

Wow. That Elizabeth Lauten is really something, isn't she?

You're guessing that Elizabeth Lauten must have been a model teen, right? To be an authority on "class and respect" for teenagers, she must have been a regular Doris Day for crying out loud! Donna Reed could take lessons from Elizabeth Lauten! If only you could be like that! Perfect in every way at every moment like Elizabeth Lauten was as a teen. Forever having that perfect smile on your face like Elizabeth Lauten must have had. Always knowing the classy thing to do like Elizabeth Lauten did. Consistently ma... making... m...

Ooh.

So this is what she meant by "class."

Or do the rules only apply to teenagers who have a parent that's the president?

Except...

It doesn't seem right that the crazy stuff you did as a teenager should be tied around your neck for all eternity. Sure Elizabeth Lauten was busted when she was a juvenile, but should that be her defining attribute for the rest of her life? When your family has left The White House and you've grown up and started your own life, is the media going to dig up photos of you being bored at the turkey pardoning event every time you make a public attack on a couple kids whose dad you hate? Because that would be awful.

Despite her being a total hypocritical ass, you kind of feel sorry for Elizabeth Lauten now, don't you?

I mean, all she did was say some mean things to a couple of kids. Now she's out of a job.

Probably not for long though... I'm sure there are plenty of people who will make her out to be the total victim she is and give her a new job. After they let her down from that cross they've hung her from, of course.

Perhaps she'll be a new FOX "News" personality.

Because if there's anybody better at pardoning turkeys than your dad, it's FOX "News."

But anyway...

Best wishes to you. Hopefully you'll get a few days off before some other adult who hates your parents decides to pick over your every move and crucify you on the internet because they don't like what you're wearing or how your face looks when you're bored (SUCH a classy thing to do, by the way... I wonder how Bristol Palin dealt with this stuff?).

Oh... and good luck with that whole "typical teenager" thing you're shooting for. Let me know how that works out.

As of today, I have become a single-issue voter.

Since it doesn't seem to matter which political party gets into office, and Republicans and Democrats have been equally guilty of caving to lobbyists and fucking up this country... I just don't give a shit anymore. This tends to lead me to vote based on social issues rather than the Big Political Issues that are decided by People With Money instead of politicians.

Because if we're going to charge ahead into wars so the 1% can profit from the carnage... if we're going to continue to subsidize industries that destroy the environment... if we're always going to pass laws that stack the deck against the little guy so the big guys can keep their wealth and power... does it really fucking matter if it's a conservative or a liberal making the decision? Why should I care?

Newsflash... I don't.

I haven't for a long time.

And so I've made my election decisions based solely on the issues that politicians can actually change. Any time a candidate is fighting for personal liberties, equality, fairness, and keeping the government the fuck out of our bedrooms, vaginas, and private lives... they get my vote. Which is why Mitt Romney wasn't even on my radar during the last presidential election. President Obama was the least worst candidate on crap that presidents are actually a factor in changing. Sure he totally fucked us on "government transparency," but the People With Money were never going to let ordinary citizens see how the government really works anyway... so whatever. But Obama has pushed forward on issues like marriage equality, which is all he can truly change anyway, so there you have it.

And now we come to the one issue that makes me a single-issue voter from here on out.

Daylight Saving Time.

Any politician... ANY politician... who makes a campaign promise to eradicate Daylight Saving Time gets my vote. Republican... Democrat... Libertarian... Independent... Communist... whatever... that's how I'm casting my ballot.

I can't stand Hillary Clinton. But if Hillary Clinton runs with the promise of dropping Daylight Saving Time and her challenger does not... CLINTON 2016!

I can't stand Mitt Romney. But if Mitt Romney runs again with the promise of dropping Daylight Saving Time and his challenger does not... ROMNEY 2016!

Hell, if mental midget with an IQ of a butter dish Louie Gohmert decides to stop obsessing over gay men long enough to make a run for president in 2016 with a promise to abolish Daylight Saving Time... GOHMERT 2016!

Sure he's dumber than a box of rocks, but it's not like this would be the first time we've had a person so pervasively, astoundingly, unyieldingly ignorant in the White House. But we survived then and we can survive again... we'll just be doing it without having to dick with our clocks twice a year.

And speaking of pervasively, astoundingly, unyieldingly ignorant potential candidates... if he vows to get rid of Daylight Saving Time? TRUMP 2016!

No joke.

Because the madness simply has to end.

Eliminate it... or split the difference... or even make Daylight Saving Time become Standard Time... I don't fucking give a shit... just stop this antiquated, nonsensical, idiotic crap once and for all...

   
RICK "PIECE OF SHIT" SANTORUM 2016???

Could be. Could be. All it takes is one campaign promise... you disgusting, unAmerican, homophobic, dumbfuck... and my vote is yours!

Today is going to be a little different.

I need you to watch a short 30-second commercial.

Please pay attention, because there will be a test afterwards...

Thanks for watching "Beggin' Party Poppers." Here we go...

1. How fucking lazy have we humans become when we can't be bothered to toss a dog treat in the air, but instead need a device to do it for us?
2. Do you think the fine people at Purina who developed this product know that "poppers" is a slang term given to a chemical called alkyl nitrite which is inhaled as an aphrodisiac... primarily by homosexuals to relax the anus and make anal sex more comfortable? Even if there aren't any gay men on the product development team, wouldn't you think there's be at least one of them who had a gay friend that likes to delight in torturing them by doing things like explaining what "poppers" are?
3. Assuming animals are capable of feeling shame, do you think that the dogs in this commercial should feel more or less embarrassed to be appearing in such a fucking stupid advertisement?
4. Does this entry make you more or less embarrassed to be a Blogography reader... or have you already hit rock-bottom in that department, so nothing I post here can make things worse?
5. If you had to guess as to what a "Beggin' Popper" tastes like... what would that be?

Thanks for playing!

It's a great day to stay inside and surf the internet all day... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Drone! Most of the time I am not a fan of the successor to RC helicopters... RC drones. When they're not making an annoying whine as the scream across the sky, they're blowing stuff up. But every once in a while, somebody finds a good use for drones that makes me forget all about the negatives. This viral video of a drone flying through 4th of July fireworks is one of them...

WARNING: It may not be all fun and games, however, as this link will tell you.

   
• Evian! Speaking of viral videos... how in the heck did I miss this one?

Guess this is the inevitable next step from stupid talking baby and talking animal commercials?

   
• Proud! During San Francisco Pride, Burger King sold a "Proud Whopper" in one of their restaurants along the parade route. Not surprisingly, I heard about the outcry before I heard about the burger. People were saying things like "I'M NEVER EATING AT BURGER KING AGAIN!" and "STOP CRAMMING HOMOSEXUALITY DOWN MY THOAT!" (ahem). Which is about as fucking stupid as it gets, because this was not a nation-wide project. It was specifically made for a single event in one restaurant in a localized area where the event took place. The only way you'd have "homosexuality crammed down your throat" would be if your were there for San Francisco Pride... and, even then, you could choose to have a plain-old Whopper if you wanted. Burger King never forced you to eat a "Proud Whopper" at all. Putting the usual homophobic idiocy aside, the idea of it all was actually pretty cool. Especially when people found out what a "Proud Whopper" was...

Exactly. Which is why seeing the insane reaction to a completely innocent publicity stunt (which had a positive message for everybody) just reinforces my disgust at what my LGBT friends have to deal with every day. Which I'm guessing is something like this...

The only thing that gives me hope for the future is that people like this will soon be dead and their absurd bigotry will one day be dead with them. Until then, I guess everybody can just "Be Your Way."

   
• Horrible! The movie Horrible Bosses was a complete surprise when I saw it... namely because it didn't suck. I actually really liked it. Well-written, well-acted, and funnier than it had a right to be. Largely thanks to one of Jennifer Anniston's best movie roles ever as a truly horrible boss. I had no idea they were making a sequel, but here it is...

Can't wait! I just hope that it doesn't go all The Hangover on us and do a crappy rehash of the first film in the sequel... then shit the bed in the third one.

   
• Democracy? It will come as no surprise that I'm completely disgusted with the state of government in this country. Politicians are bought and paid for every damn day, which has effectively destroyed any chance of true democracy in this country. It seems an insurmountable problem. But then I saw something that has me intrigued...

Surprisingly, MayDay US reached their $5 million goal. Whether or not it can make any difference against politicians backed by unlimited funds remains to be seen... but it's worth a shot, I suppose.

   
• Shark! After the idiotic crap that tainted Shark Week last year, I was kind of soured on the idea. Then I see this ad...

SHARK EXTREME! Oh Shark Week, how can I quit you?

   
And now I get to go to work! How awesome is that?

It must be Sunday... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Paws. It won't be easy to watch... but if you care about our furry feline friends, you'll want to see The Paws Project, now available to stream on Netflix. It documents the horrifying effect of declawing cats, which is far worse than taking off a nail on a human. It's more like taking off the finger-tips down to the first knuckle on a human...

Declawing is just awful. And yet there are still veterinary hospitals that promote it because it's profitable... even though there are far more humane alternatives. Hopefully this barbaric practice will be outlawed nation-wide if enough people start speaking up about it.

   
• Pledge. I have no idea where this photo comes from. But it's genius, and every time I run across it I love it even more. Because: 'MURICA!

I've finally decided to blog it so I can look it up easily every time I need a laugh.

   
• Silence! As if this video wasn't already freaky as hell with the sound...

Of course, anything featuring Jagger and Bowie is bound to be freaky as hell.

   
• Kare! As a huge, huge, mega-huge fan of Susan Kare's work, I was thrilled when Foodiddy sent me this link...

I wish she would have had time to go a bit deeper into her creative process, but this is a must-watch video for anybody interested in graphic design.

   
• Cozy My Ass. Of all the "Hitler Dubs" floating around out there, THIS is by far my favorite: Hitler tries to rent an apartment in San Francisco...

Oh, Hitler!

   
• Perry! I've grown so accustomed to Texas Governor Rick Perry being a raging douche that the insane shit he says doesn't phase me any more. Comparing homosexuality to alcoholism... while repugnant, ignorant an fucking stupid... is a relatively mild offense for him. I'd argue his pathetic attempt to write that off as a mistake after doubling down on it is even more ridiculous. Regardless, Funny or Die has a brilliant commentary on this particular bit of Rick Perry idiocy...

Can you believe the piece of shit is probably going to run for president again in 2016?

   
And... that clicking sound you here is me out of bullets in my blog-based six-shooter. Until next week...

"Master, are you a god?" "No," he replied. "Are you a reincarnation of god?" "No," he replied."Are you a wizard, then?" "No." "Well, are you a man?" "No." "So what are you?" The priest asked. Buddha simply replied: "I am awake." — A very loose translation from the Dona Sutta.

For the most part, Saturdays are nothing for me to get excited about. They haven't been for a very long time. Which is okay. Really it is. I don't mind having to work hard every day of the week, because that's how I afford to go on vacation twice a year. And, despite getting cracked ribs on my Springtime vacation, I am totally looking forward to my Fall vacation. Whatever that's going to be.

And yet, regardless of how much work I have to get through, Saturdays at least feel like they should somehow be special. This is probably a remnant of my childhood where I didn't have to go to school and didn't have to worry about going to school the next morning (as with Sunday).

With that in mind, anything that puts a wrench in my Saturday deals double damage. Or rather, I get doubly upset about crap when it happens on a Saturday.

And today it's because of this ignorant piece of shit, Roy Moore of the Alabama Supreme Court...

And the story of his reprehensible behavior here: Alabama’s Chief Justice: Buddha didn’t create us so First Amendment only protects Christians.

I don't give a flying fuck if somebody wants to be a repugnant religious bigot and say stupid shit... zero fucks do I give... that's freedom of speech, even for dumbass Roy Moore. But if you're going to be an intolerant piece of shit, is it really too much to ask that you at least not be so grossly uninformed? You're a Chief Justice, for Christ's sake.

Buddha never claimed to "make" anybody. Nobody who practices Buddhism believes that Buddha "made" anybody. The Buddha was a teacher. A highly respected and revered teacher, but a teacher.

So when some redneck fringe Christian dumbfuck like Chief Justice Moore elevates Buddha to God, it's painfully obvious he has no fucking clue what he's talking about. Which obviously extends to his knowledge of The Bible, Christianity, The Constitution of the United States of America, US Law, State Law, the Treaty of Tripoli, and US History as a whole.

Yet at one point he was considering a run for the US Presidency.

And why not? People were stupid enough to elect this ignorant asshole into a State Supreme Court judge.

As with most positions of power in this country, smarts ain't required, yo.

I am so ready for Saturday to be over now.

Today it reached 84° F

Tomorrow it's supposed to hit 86° F

And so I'm guessing this means Spring is over. Which is upsetting since it never really started until three weeks ago. So much for my favorite season.

As if that weren't horrible enough, THIS pretty much sums up my day...

The good news is that not all the links I needed were broken.

Most of them were just linking to the wrong page.

I'm not sure whether this is the case of us spending too many tax dollars... or too little. But it would be nice if Secretary of State John Kerry could get his shit fixed.

Go Go Gadget Web Browser... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Penny. NEW CHRIS WARE AT THE NEW YORK TIMES!

You. Are. Welcome!

Nobody does what Chris Ware does. And why would they? Everything he creates is perfect.

   
• Shift? Bwah ha! This has to be one of Apple's biggest embarrassments. I frickin' HATE that I can never tell if my shift/shift-lock is on or not in iOS...

So now there's a new website in case you need a reminder! Sweet!

   
• Mail. Okay. Okay. I've used a lot of email programs. A lot. And while the features are tweaked from app to app, they all pretty much work the same way once you get down to brass tacks... no matter how different they look. Enter Unibox. Now THIS isn't just a different approach to email... it's different different. The biggest change? No inbox. There's a filter for your contacts, any attachments you've received, and that's it...

For my personal email, where I receive a cornucopia of crap every day, I prefer the "inbox approach." But for my work email? Where everything revolves around people? This has proven nothing short of revolutionary. Once I got used to it, I was amazed at how much of a timesaver this unique approach to email has been. If you're in a similar email situation and have a Mac... Unibox gets my highest recommendation.

   
• Flight. Every minute of this video is gold...

I don't know a better way to wrap up my Sunday than that.

   
• Good. Well, okay... maybe with this commercial from a Thai life insurance company...

Pretty much sums up why I love Thailand.

   
And... hope your weekend was a good one!

   

   

Teletubbies say "Eh oh!"