I've been seeing a crazy number of YouTube videos about "Disney Adults." Most always in negative terms... IT'S A CULT! and DISNEY ADULTS ARE STEALING THE DISNEY PARKS FROM CHILDREN! and THESE PEOPLE VOTE! or whatever. To support their thesis, content creators are forever churning out these "in-depth analysis" videos which tries to apply psychology and scientific concepts to the idea that adult fans of Disney are delusional cultish freaks who need to be put down for the good of society. Rude!

I don't mind being called a "Disney Adult." There's nothing wrong with being an adult Disney fan. There's fun Disney things to be had as an adult (and some things definitely not to be had).

What I do mind is being accused of being in a "cult." Something that recently happened in the comments on my cruise post. Which I didn't read until Christmas Day. So Merry fucking Christmas to me.

I'm a massive geek for architecture and design of public spaces. Theme parks are a great expression of both, and I had dreams of becoming a Disney "Imagineer" for ages because of it. Studying how the attractions are made is actually more interesting to me than the attractions themselves. This lead to me having a consulting job piggybacked on Disney in Orlando for several years, and I ended up with friends there. Which is why I end up at Disney World so often, and spend time at their parks, resorts, ships, and whatever. At first it was a place to meet up with friends after work. Then, once my work there ended, it was to hang out with friends I met there. — If I had worked with Betty Crocker, I'd have been in Minnesota all the time and posting about the cakes I was eating while working or hanging out with my friends. But it wasn't Betty Crocker, it was Disney... so I'm in a cult?

I'm a graphic designer who's a huge fan of art, in general, and animation, specifically (there was a time I wanted to be an animator before it all went computer graphics). So, naturally, I watch all the Disney animated movies. But I also watch a ton of other animated stuff. Disney is such a small piece of what I'm interested in... but it's an important one (the news that Disney is toying with the idea of returning to hand-draw animated features definitely has me excited). And because of that... I'm in a cult?

As a fan of art, I have a lot of it hanging in my home. A chunk of it is Disney-related because that's where I've been so many times. I was there for work. I was there for the charity I worked with. I was there to meet up with the friends I made who live in the area. I was there three to five times a year for 17 years. I was given Disney art as gifts. I eventually ended up collecting prints by Disney-related artists like Dave Perillo and Jerrod Maruyama to remind me of my trips. But I also collect non-Disney prints by artists like Chris Ware and original comic book art by artists like Amanda Conner and Curt Swan which also hang in my home. I've also got art I bought from my travels around the world, but because Oswald the Lucky Rabbit is on my wall... I'm in a cult?

Because Disney is such a huge part of my childhood (and the years of work I had), I have a lot of Disney memorabilia displayed in my home. But I also have numerous other pieces of memorabilia from my life which has nothing to do with Disney that's on display. Concert programs, signed records, old tin signs, movie posters... not to mention hundreds of photos of my family friends from over the years. But because I framed the Disneyland map I got as a kid... I'm in a cult?

Alrighty then. Pass me the Kool-Aid, I guess...

The above is most of the souvenirs I have from my very first visit to Disneyland when I was ten years old. I kept it all these decades because my parents bought it for me and I couldn't throw it out. Some of what I had was in pretty rough shape, so I managed to find replacements on eBay in better condition...

You can click the photo to embiggen it... or click on this link right here.

The map, for example, hung in my bedroom for my entire childhood, getting faded and having the corners ripped out from the thumbtacks. It took me years to find a replacement. There's loads and loads of old Disneyland maps out there, but I wanted the one with Mickey, Goofy, and Donald dressed in 1776 fife & drum Americana, because that's what I had as a kid. Eventually eBay listed one from an estate sale and, once I bought it, I decided to get everything framed up. It's fun to look at as I walk into my home and remember back to that visit with my family. And it's interesting too. Because boy Disneyland sure was a very different place back then.

Still don't understand how any of this puts me into a cult.

Maybe I should watch more clickbait videos to find out for sure...

That last video is particularly hilarious, because her fucking SurfShark advertisement is more cringe than anything she's presenting as "cringe" in her "takedown"...

But anyway...

Do I think Disney Adults exist which are problematic? Oh hell yes. I run across them every time I'm anywhere Disney-related. Usually they are "social media influencers" and that's what makes them problematic. It's not that they love Disney, it's that they intrude on other people who are just there to have fun. They hold up lines and block traffic to get a selfie or shoot a video. They take over spaces and experience just to get likes at the expense of other people who are trying to enjoy themselves. People who likely spent a considerable amount of money to be there. It's annoying as hell, and dunking on these assholes is justifiable.

And, sure, there actually are people who build their lives around all things Disney and their entire existence revolves around their next trip to Disney World (or Disney-wherever). And good for them. People should be allowed to follow their bliss, be happy, and escape from the horrors of the world doing whatever is going to make life bearable. You do you. It doesn't affect anybody else. Spend the money you have and the time you have however you want.

Because, I gotta say, there are people building their lives around far worse things than Mickey Mouse.

Like spending their time trashing people who are enjoying their best life at zero cost to others as an "influencer.".

Last night after work I went out to eat because it had been a very long day, I was too tired to cook, and I wanted breakfast. And it was wonderful. Perfectly cooked. Perfectly seasoned. I couldn't have made it better myself. It was so good that I was able to overlook the cost, which was expensive. But no more expensive than anything else out there now-a-days, which means it was actually a fair price.

Tonight when it was time to go home after another very long day, I was seriously wanting to go out for breakfast again, but didn't want it to get weird, and furthermore didn't have the money to be spending two nights in a row.

Instead I went home and had cereal with toast. Followed by apple sauce and crackers. Followed by freeze-dried strawberries and more crackers.

And I ate all that in the cold.

Can somebody please explain Apple's thinking when Siri's response to "Hey Siri, make it warmer" inevitably ends up being "It's 70° in here and could take a while to warm up. Are you sure you want to make it warmer?"

When I'm cold and want it warmer, what the fuck difference is telling me a number going to make? Is their thinking that I'm going to hear a number and think "Oh. I guess I'm not cold after all! Never mind, Siri!"... because what kind of stupid shit is that?

Likewise, what good does telling me that it could take a while to heat up going to do? Do they honestly believe that I'm going to hear that and say "Oh, if it's going to take a while, just forget it then!"... because that's even more stupid.

JUST MAKE IT FUCKING WARMER LIKE I ASKED! DON'T WASTE MY TIME WITH THIS NONSENSE THAT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE MY BEING COLD!

This kind of idiotic shit drives me insane. But when it comes to Siri, about all you get is idiotic shit. Siri is 14 years old but, due to how smart everything else is getting smarter while it stays the same, Siri seems to be getting more and more stupid. We were supposed to get an update well over a year ago, but it still hasn't shown up.

What has shown up is a headache, so I guess I'll grab an aspirin and call it an early night.

Assuming my cats don't wake me up because they're cold.

I've given myself permission to just not give a fuck any more.

Want to eat ice cream for breakfast every morning? Go for it. Want to have burgers after work every day? Go for it. Don't feel like cleaning the house for a month? Forget about it. Want to spend the extra money to get the name brand cereal instead of the cheaper store brand version? Whatever. I am just not giving a fuck about what I should be doing because the world is on fire and it just doesn't matter any more.

But it gets better.

I am not engaging with the dumbass boot-licking pieces of shit supporting this country sliding into a toxic shithole fascist state. If what they can easily see with their own eyes isn't enough to convince them to question what they're being told to believe... why waste my time and energy? It's not going to make a lick of difference. You can't compete with willful ignorance.

So I'm just... not... any more.

And I just don't give a fuck. Nor do I give a fuck what other people think about it.

I used to pride myself on keeping up with current events around the world. But lately I just don't have the mental fortitude to see what new horrific shit is going on. It seems to get worse by the day, and the added anxiety would probably push me over the edge.

I slept horribly last night. Tossed and turned and didn't fall asleep until well after midnight. Jenny woke me up a little after 6:00am, and I ended up petting her until it was her breakfast time at 7:00am. After that I went back to bed so I could read some documentation for work and... somehow dropped off to sleep again, and didn't wake up until nearly 10:00am?? That's something that just doesn't happen to me. When I wake up, that's it. I'm awake for the duration. But not this morning...

Nearly eight hours sleep? That's very rare. Any more I feel lucky if I can get five or six!

Then I somehow ended up falling down a rabbit hole of shelter dog adoption videos. Like this one...

And this one...

And this one...

And then I listened to Martin Luther King Jr. speak, amazed as always how his words are more relevant than ever, then got back to work while listening to a podcast called Why this song? which talks to the artists behind popular songs. It started with Hold Me Now by the Thompson Twins, which is one of my favorite tracks of all time. Good stuff.

I've been burning the candle at both ends for months, and it's starting to catch up to me. In one of life's cruel ironies, I get so tired lately that I can't sleep. I start yawning and yawning, so I go to bed... then am wide awake.

And so I run through my social media pages looking for something to distract my mind from all the things that are running through my head that I should be focusing on that's keeping me from falling asleep.

And that's when I reached this...

I laughed out loud, which was a real bummer for my cats who were sleeping next to me.

Jake was a little upset, but quickly fell back asleep.

Jenny, on the other hand, glared at me for far longer than was comfortable, then left in a huff.

Until 4:20am, at which point she got her revenge.

For the last couple of days I have been having allergy problems. Which is bizarre to me because I never have noticeable allergies in January. They always hit me in March and April when new plants arrive... then again in September and October when everything is dying. Summer and Winter are blissfully allergy-free.

But then I went to put the garbage cans back and walked around my yard.

Only to find that there are flowers which never died. And greens are popping up everywhere...

This could be very, very bad for us.

We haven't had snow this year. Any sprinkling we get disappears in short order. The hillsides are bare. The mountains aren't covered nearly enough. This is looking like drought for us this Summer, which means high water prices, rationing, dead lawns, and other problems I don't even want to think about.

Meanwhile... a winter storm of scary proportions is about to hit everywhere from New York to Texas.

Climate change is not cool, yo. Not cool at all.

Is it just me, or has hope for the future dropped to an all-time low?

It's not just one thing, it's everything. Everywhere you turn, there's bad news. I was going to recap with some examples, but I don't want to depress everybody even more than they probably are. Starting with myself.

I thought I would make myself feel better with some retail therapy, but the thought of buying something I don't need and can't afford... then having to pay the credit card bill... doesn't make me think that it would make me feel any better.

So instead I watched last night's episode of The Traitors (US version) and ate a bag of Bugles corn snacks for dinner.

Probably should have bought a fifth of Jack Daniels.

I did not get much sleep last night.

Which is nothing new to me, because my chronic insomnia makes this just another normal day. I fell asleep around 11:30, woke up at 2:10am. Unable to fall back asleep, I grabbed my phone to doom-scroll social media. At which point Jenny came running in and jumped on my bed so she could get pets.

Since all the social media sites know that I live in Washington State, they naturally assume that I'm hyped because the Seattle Seahawks made it to the Superb Owl to play the Patriots. Which is not the least bit true. Football isn't my game, and I'm more excited to see the ads and what Bad Bunny's half-time show is like than watching the game. The Puppy Bowl and the Kitten Bowl are more important to me.

Now, if a miracle ocurred and The Kraken somehow made it to the Stanley Cup? Count me in for that.

But anyway... back to Seahawk mania.

Some of the stuff coming out of Seattle's good fortune is worth watching. My favorite so far is this one, which made me laugh all four times I watched it...

Interestingly enough, the Seahawks are actually favored to win the big prize! Something they've only done once before in 2014 (though this is the fourth time Seattle has been to the been to the big game, and back in 2015 they lost to the Patriots by 4 points).

I am happy that once the Superb Owl is over we can turn our attention back to hockey where it belongs.

Today I had to run to the Big City to get a haircut. Which is always awful.

Well, not the haircut... the drive to get there.

Despite the fact that Washington State has anti-distracted-driving laws, people 100% do not follow the law. Whether it's texting at a stoplight or watching YouTube videos while driving, people are insane. The average weight of a car in the USA is over 4,000 pounds. Not giving your entire attention to a machine which could easily kill somebody is beyond insane.

But pedestrians make me crazy too.

I was waiting at a crosswalk for somebody to cross the road.

They started across, but then stopped and stared at their phone in front of me.

Now, I have no idea what was going on and like to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to them existing. Maybe they got some terrible news and it shocked them so badly that they forgot they were in the middle of the street. Maybe they have a neurological condition where they can't concentrate on more than one thing at a time. Or maybe they just like torturing drivers by seeing how long it takes them to honk their horn or something. Anything's possible. And since I wasn't in any hurry I just sat there waiting for them to do something. Do anything...

Finally, the car behind me honked.

At which point the person continued crossing without even looking up from their phone.

Sooo... who knows? Maybe they were just a self-absorbed asshole who doesn't give a shit that there's people on the road trying to get somewhere. Maybe somewhere to save their life, like a hospital.

Or maybe they just need to get to their life-saving haircut appointment.

There's just no telling.

My cats have zero fucks left to give.

They've been sliding to this point for years, but it was so gradual that I didn't notice. Now it feels like it actually happened over months. Weeks even.

They want what they want and they want it now. And when it comes to what you want... like sleep? Oh hell no. You don't dare deny them what they want!

And while they do have sweet moments with each other like this...

Jake is a mean bear of a brother. If Jenny is sitting somewhere, he'll decide that he wants to sit there, then antagonize her to leave. Not long ago Jenny was laying at the foot of my bed and Jake decided that this is where he wanted to be, so he just goes over and sits on her. Jenny erupts in a flurry off hisses that seem to genuinely confuse Jake, then she smacks him and runs away because he won't leave.

Jake, for his part, then lays down and goes to sleep as if nothing happened.

But don't feel bad for Jenny.

Because she is happy to treat me exactly the same way.

It's me. I'm the one you should feel sorry for.

Books have been written about Gen X and our mentality when it comes to dealing with the world around us. I think way too much is put on the fact that we were incredibly independent due to being latchkey kids (meaning we came home from school to an empty house because our parents were both at work) and not enough put on how we were incredibly independent because we had disconnected lives. There were no mobile phones everywhere to keep us attached.

I remember very well how I could "go out to play" when I got home from school and just... disappear. I could walk downtown or to the park so long as I was back in the neighborhood before dinner. I could hang out with friends at their houses. I could run wild on the hill behind my house (and the rest of the block). When it was dinner time dad would whistle and, if I didn't hear it, the message would be passed on to me by other kids or (more likely) their parents. After dinner I could go back outside until the streetlights turned on. Then it was homework and television time until it was time for bed.

Being disconnected was a very powerful thing as a kid (and as adults, before mobile phones fucked things up).

I was thinking about that today when I saw a kid walking home from school talking on his mobile phone. Not a teenager, but a fairly young kid.

He was never out of touch... unless his battery died.

No matter where he wanders, he's never more than a phone call away from his parents. Or even his friends, assuming they had access to a phone with which to call him.

It just seemed so... odd... to me.

When I was a kid, you made plans with your friends for after school face-to-ace while you still could. Otherwise, you might not be able to find them. You wrote notes. You left word with others. You called and left messages somewhere. It was a different world. But we adapted to it because it was all we knew.

In that respect, I'm glad that I grew up as a Gen X kid. It was the last generation of true freedom.

Not having something stupid or embarrassing I did go viral for the entire world to see is just icing on the cake.

I worked a very long day, but after arriving home I couldn't help but feel as though it was Sunday and the end of my weekend. No idea why. Maybe it's because I traveled all day Sunday, and Monday was a holiday for me? Whatever the case, all my plans to clean house, unpack my suitcase, and wash clothes went out the window because I felt displaced and exhausted.

So I caught up on A Knight of The Seven Kingdoms instead.

I wish I remembered more about the book, but that was 25 years ago. From what little I do remember, the series is faithful to the source material. I don't remember the flashbacks in the fifth episode, but I appreciate that they tried to flesh out Ser Duncan as a character with a backstory which fit nicely into the battle.

With one episode left to go, I am hopeful that they don't fuck it up at the end. The awful taste of the final season of Game of Thrones is still in my mouth, so you can forgive me having doubts.

One thing I can't get over is just how impeccably cast the leads are. Peter Claffey as Dunk and Dexter Sol Ansell as Egg are just too good to be true...

With each episode they do not falter. The show could have so very easily collapsed under a shitty child lead, but dang is he good. Duncan the Tall is a character that could have gone badly wrong if the actor didn't have a subtlety that felt authentic, but Claffey feels like he's inhabiting the character in a way that works for the series every minute he's on-screen. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms makes you appreciate brilliant casting at a level many shows can only hope to reach.

And, on that note, I guess I'll try to get some sleep.

Something which, understandably, hasn't been easy for me after my sojourn to Kansas City.

Last Friday I had a meeting for work in The Big City. I didn't finish in time to get back to the office before quitting time, so I decided to go to Petco for kitty litter and then Costco. I renewed my decade-long-expired membership to support them after they decided to say "Fuck your anti-DEI bullshit," but haven't actually shopped in a store. Instead I bought a few things via Mail Order.

I was surprised that now you scan your membership card to get in the store instead of showing it to a door guard. Though there's still a door guard because my membership didn't have a digital photo attached. They asked me if I wanted a physical card and I declined because I assumed I could add a digital card to my Apple Wallet. But you can't? You have to use the Costco app. Oh well.

Because it was a Friday at 3:30, Costco was incredibly busy. Way, way too busy for me to be comfortable.

Because the more people in a place, the bigger the possibility you're going to run into assholes.

And assholes I did find. Three incidents stand out...

1. The couple who KEPT. BLOCKING. THE. AISLES. I ran to another part of the store... twice... because of this asshole couple. And it didn't matter. I would run back into them again eventually. PULL YOUR FUCKING CART OVER TO THE SIDE AND DON'T BLOCK ENTRANCES/EXITS TO AISLES! It's fundamentally stupid that this even has to be explained. But people like this don't give a shit because they don't give a fuck about anybody but themselves. It was especially awful because it was so busy.
2. Racism. Because of course. I was standing in the cracker & chip aisle looking for crackers. Next to me was a couple talking to somebody in Spanish. They were bothering nobody. Oh... wait... racist pieces of shit are always bothered, and as a couple rounded the corner, they were compelled to say "I'm tired of hearing Mexican. They're everywhere." Because apparently "Mexican" is a language now? Well, I'd rather hear people speaking "Mexican" than hearing them speaking hatred on people who are just existing. So whatever.
3. I do not work here. A man diverted his shopping cart towards me and asked me a question. I replied that I didn't know. And he said "Oh. You don't work here?" which I found odd. Then, not ten minutes later, a different man rolled up to me and said "Do you work here?" When I responded in the negative, he barked "THEN WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A CART?!?" And I was thinking "Excuse me? You are required to have a cart to shop here?" And you know what I did? I went and got a frickin' cart to put my crackers in.

An asshole-unrelated problem is that Costco isn't laid out very well. When the checkout lines back up, they completely cut off the snack aisles at the front of the store. This is probably a good thing for me... I don't need to be eating loads of snacks... but it is disappointing. Who knows what tasty goodness I could have discovered.

So... yeah... thus ended my adventure in Costco.

I've been plagued by a looming sense of dread all week. No idea what that's all about... other than the usual news cycle... but Im really ready for it to be over. Maybe I need a distraction?

After Jury Duty changed everything about a reality television series, it's hard to believe that anybody would fall for it again, but here we go...

I am hopeful.

Jury Duty was phenomenal entertainment, and if Company Retreat is even half as good, I'll be thrilled to tune in for it.

And, to be honest, being "thrilled" to be doing anything now-a-days is a nice change.

I am used to multi-tasking. I do it all day long, and it doesn't matter if I'm at work or home. As I'm typing this, I have another window monitoring a data import for work, I have a video playing on my television called Betelgeuse Is "Eating" Another Star…and its Concerning, I've got a second video playing in the corner of my laptop where William Osman is responding to "Uncle Roger cyber bullied me", all while being careful that I don't smack into Jake who is sleeping against me. As if all that wasn't enough, I'm off-and-on answering a work email while thinking through some problems I'll have to resolve when I get back to the office.

I think nothing strange about doing a shitload of things at the same time. It's just how I am.

At least I didn't think it strange until the astronomy video Just. Got. Interesting, and I had to set aside everything else so I can focus on how the companion star is revving up Betelgeuse. Then it seems very strange that I am trying to do so much while something so interesting is being explained.

And... I'm back.

Though I just started the latest Kurzgesagt video, Let’s Travel to the Scariest Place in The Universe, so my attention to this blog entry may be fleeting.

But here's the thing about multi-tasking all the time... I find it almost impossible to wind down and do important things like... relax... and sleep. You would think that I would burn out and crash but it never happens. And that's getting to be a serious problem for me.

I am averaging just three to four hours of sleep a night.

The problem, however, is not that I am dragging ass all day and can't function... that's never been an issue (maybe because I traveled constantly for decades and jetlag wasn't an option). No, the problem is that I feel like I'm losing years of my life. Like I'm being burnt out day after day and it's only a matter of time before my brain implodes or my body gives out.

I'm not sure what to do about it.

Perhaps it's a problem which will resolve itself as I age. I simply won't be able to keep up with constant activity, so I'll slow down naturally.

Perhaps one day I'll discover that magical combination of meditation and exercise which fixes my ability to wind down.

Or perhaps I'll drop dead from pent-up exhaustion.

Whatever happens, I'm looking forward to finally getting a good night's sleep.

Annnnd... just like that, the snow from the weekend is gone.

It had a good run, but was already melting away on Monday, was mostly gone by Tuesday, started disappearing from the hillsides by Wednesday, and now you'd barely know it was here and the weather is so warm that I've been wearing T-shirts.

So while I was thinking we might get a few extra weeks grace from drought, now I'm wondering if it was enough snow to make a difference. I guess it all depends on what's going on in the mountains.

On the up-side, the good thing about having a dead lawn is that you don't have to mow it.

I had to go to the Big City on a work errand today. While I was waiting, I remembered that my driver's license will expire soon, so I went online to renew it. Except I couldn't renew it online. And that's when I noticed that now you can make appointments at the DMV. How handy is that? What was even more surprising? My appointment time actually meant something, and I was in-and-out pretty quick. Interestingly enough, I had the option for an eight year license! And, for good measure, I went ahead and got an "enhanced" license since I had my passport and a pile of mail with me, which allows me to use it at airport security and stuff.

My visit was a far cry from DMV visits in the past. No longer an exercise in torture filled with assholes. Everybody was actually nice.

While I was waiting for my appointment time, I was looking at Facebook and this popped up on my feed...

Kinda embarrassing to be laughing in the waiting room of the DMV.

For the past couple months, it feels as if time is passing me by. It's Monday and I brace myself for a busy week... then all of a sudden the weekend is here and I'm mentally and physically exhausted.

All the plans I have and all the things I need to do seem impossible. Anything beyond laying on the couch and watching television feels out of reach. Then I blink and it's Monday again.

Maybe this is normal as you age? The good news is that, at this rate, I'll perish soon, and finally be able to get some sleep!

And, on that note...

I had a ridiculous crush on Miss Tessmacher in Superman: The Movie back in the day. Valerie Perrine played her so flawlessly... a bit ditzy, but smart enough to have things figured out and know the score...

Rest in Peace.

Thanks to all of you who are flooding my social media with birthday wishes! Now that I'm officially old and slow, it will take a while to reply to all y'all... but I'll get there eventually, because the outpouring of kindness means the world to me!

But so does money. Money is great. Feel free to send money as well. In fact, if you would rather not spend your precious time sending a happy birthday message, you can just skip that part and send money. I promise I'll appreciate it just as much. If not more. Probably more.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! Dave2, Jake, and Jenny.

I know it's an honest mistake, but that's not me in the video.

But that's an adequate representation of what it's like for me getting out of bed every day.

Guess what... it's allergy time!

I went outside to take photos for my landscaper and came back in with itchy eyes and a runny nose. And so... it's time for me to be miserable for a while as my body adjusts to this assault on my mind, body, and soul. Or so it feels. All I know for sure is that I want to move to Antarctica this time of year.

In other news, it's official. I can't buy any more spices thanks to The Spice House coming out with two must-have-blends that filled out my spice drawer.

Back of the Yards is an instant favorite. It's the perfect blend of salt, pepper, garlic, sugar, shallots, peppers, and parsley, which tastes phenomenal on my Beyond Burgers! So crazy good.

Golden Herb Salt is one of the best vegetable toppers I've ever had... featuring salt, garlic, mustard, onion, MSG, pepper, parsley, rosemary, oregano, turmeric, and mace! I have all these spices already, but any attempt to make this blend on my own would never get a balance this good, so I'm content to leave it to the professionals.

To make room, I had to remove my Spice House Sea Salt & Tellicherry Pepper (fine, coarse, and peppercorns) and they're next to the stove now. And I had already moved my Dutch cocoa and put it with my coffee service.

We won't discuss how Spice House changed their labels, so now the non-matching designs sets my ADHD on edge. Not only that, they've drifted upwards... and one of them was crooked...

WHY? LORD, WHYYYY? It's like when they change the design of book covers half-way through a series and now nothing matches any more. How am I supposed to live this way?

Back in December of 2024 my faithful Toyota Corolla died. I had helped my mom purchase it in 2006, then took it over when she could no longer drive. Afterwards I donated my Saturn to the veterans, and the Corolla rolled on with not too many problems (except the brakes, which I had to replace in 2024). I am not a "car guy" so my plan was to drive the Corolla until it died, which I did.

My sister made it clear that I had to run out and get another car so I could make it over the mountains for Christmas. Not trusting myself to get a used car because I'd have no idea what to look for (I worried about inheriting somebody else's problems) I went to the Toyota dealership and asked for the cheapest car they had.

Which turned out to be another Toyota Corolla. It was so new they hadn't even gotten all the plastic wrapping removed.

After waiting for them to get it ready, I went for a test drive and ended up buying it. It was a car that could get me from Point A to Point B, and that's all I needed to know.

The car is fine. Nothing special. And since I have nothing else to blog about today, here's my thoughts.

• I like blue cars. All my cars have been medium-to-dark blue. But since I needed the car immediately, I got what I got. Which is grey. I didn't care. The issue is that this kind of grey is everywhere now because all the car manufacturers have been releasing new models with it. The tone is slightly different between manufacturers (mine has a nice purple-ish blue undertone), but this is the color of the moment. Which can make it a challenge to spot your car in the parking lot. I have walked up to totally different brands (and even other Corollas) from the beginning. I'm still doing that.
• Like all modern cars of this class, the construction isn't the greatest. I had random squeaks and creaks from the first week. It's disappointing, but unless you have $250K to spend, it's what there is.
• One of the features I was happiest to have was CarPlay. It's a screen that allows you to control stuff while using your iPhone as the "brain" of the car. The problem is that Toyota's system software is shitty, which means it doesn't always automatically connect to my phone. 75% of the time I have to press a button on the display to initiate it. And it pisses me the fuck off. Once I select CarPlay, I don't ever want to see the Toyota system ever again.
• Another feature I was thrilled to get was a wireless charger. Except the charger is shit. It doesn't work at all. It will start charging, but then fail-out in a minute. I have the most popular phone in the entire fucking world, and Toyota's charger won't work with it? And it's not just me... everybody complains about it. Why the fuck say that you have a wireless charger if it doesn't actually wirelessly charge anything? Toyota should be sued for lying and forced to fix it.
• One of the coolest features that comes with the car is remote access. You can remote-start the car, unlock the car, and the like. After a year it stopped working and you have to pay for it. And that's fine. I know that the cellular communication required isn't free. I don't mind at all. Except you can't just buy the remote access by itself. You have to pair it with Toyota's music service (when I already have iTunes and Google Music) or pair it with their mapping service (when I already have Apple Maps, Google Maps, Waze, etc.). It's so fucking stupid, and I won't do it. Just let me buy the part I want, assholes.
• The backup camera (which I think it required in American cars now?) is nice, but it would be equally useful to have a forward camera that you could engage when pulling up to something in tight quarters. I wonder why auto manufacturers don't get on that?
• I was going to buy an electric car because electrical power is relatively inexpensive where I live. But I balked at the idea of having to purchase a new battery when this one dies, seeing as how they're almost as expensive as the car itself. Since I don't drive a lot, I went with gas-powered, figuring it would be cheaper in the long run. But now regular unleaded gas is $5.49 a gallon where I live thanks to the president being a dumb fuck asshole who needed a war with Iran to distract from his being named in the Epstein Files. All over nuclear weapons he had already "decimated" with his last distraction. Now I wish I had spent the extra money to go electric.
• This Toyota is slightly wider than my old one. Over a year later and I'm still not used to it. I have to turn into parking spots later than I used to in order to be centered, and it messes with my head. This is a basic car, not a luxury vehicle. I'd prefer something more narrow, not more wide.
• My car is nearing 16 months old and I've never washed it. I just let the rain clean it. When it's not raining, it's a bit dirty but I just don't care.
• The car comes with blind spot indicators on the side-mirrors. It's a nice feature, but I remain paranoid that they will fail, so I still do too many head-checks.
• The car also has lane guidance and proximity detection. This means that if you drift out of your lane, your car will guide you back to the center. If you come up too close to the car ahead of you, your car will slow down. Both would be great if they worked consistently, but they really don't. So I leave them turned on and stay on high alert like I always have.
• I have yet to read the manual. Which is nothing special... I've never read the manual for any car I've ever owned. But in this case I should read the manual because the electronics are so much more complex. Many times needlessly so. I want to make the dashboard illumination brighter. No idea how to do it. Instead of a knob somewhere, I'm guessing there's some menu setting hidden in a maze of menu settings. Annoying.
• I found out that it's next to impossible to purchase the base model of any car. Manufacturers make a base model so they can say the car is cheap... but dealerships make less money on them and don't want to carry them. So you always have to buy "packages" with extra features you probably don't want or need. That was definitely the case with my car. I paid nearly $3,000 over the base price. If I wasn't desperate, I probably wouldn't have done it. I would have tried to order a base model.

Ultimately, one year and a few months on, I'm happy enough with my car. It was more expensive than I wanted to pay and had more features than I needed, but it's still basic and fairly inexpensive by today's standards.

And it works, which is all I truly care about anyway.

Thanks to our "No More Wars" president needing to distract from the Epstein Files, my trip to Seattle and back is going to cost a shit-load in fuel. I nearly crapped my pants when I went to fill up yesterday and found out that I was paying $5.49. God only knows how much it will be next week when whatever new presidential scandal escalates the need for an even bigger distraction.

For the past several days I've been cleaning something in my home so that I come back to a clean house instead of the Pit of Despair that I've been wallowing in for weeks. Usually I'm a much better housekeeper than this, but I've been consumed with work and there's no time to keep up with it all. I just don't have the energy. It's all I can do to cook meals.

Which is a shame, because there's a list of recipes from my stack of vegetarian cookbooks I've been dying to try.

But frying a Beyond Burger or tossing a frozen meal in the oven is my current limit, alas.

It feels like I'm being punked on a daily basis. And today was such a random series of unbelievable events that there was really no other way to feel about it.

Then I get home and look at the news articles in my feed and I'm certain I'm being punked.

Because, holy shit, if this isn't some elaborate hoax being perpetrated upon me, then what the fuck is going on?

In better news, I retreated to TikTok to find something to distract me and ran across some cool stuff. First is this pint-sized music producer who is more talented than you'd believe...

The play-break got me.

This is an interesting illusion that I've seen before. When I first saw it, I immediately saw squares... but then when I went to scroll, the circles appeared and I couldn't see anything else. Now I can see either when I pick something to focus on...

Whenever I see videos like this one from Mario I want a new cat for Jake and Jenny to play with. I worry about how this might disrupt their lives, but I think come June I will start looking into it...

For anybody wondering what Ilya was saying in that phone call to Shane in Heated Rivalry, here you go. My Russian is limited, but I was able to get the gist of everything. This did clear some things up for me...

And, lastly, hope you have a tissue ready...

Now back to the horrors of the day...

My chair broke at work first thing. Snapped into three pieces.

I fell and knocked my head on the wall, jammed my thumb, and hurt my wrist. Something also happened with my jaw, because my back teeth ache.

I couldn't wait to get home from work so I could lay down on the couch on a heating pad and doomscroll Instagram. And most of what I see? Dipshits. Stupid assholes who are happy spouting the most ignorant crap imaginable.

But there is an up-side.

A lot of times, there's people making fun of these idiots. Often to hilarious effect...

But there were also some videos not steeped in idiocy. Just animals eating stuff...

I could watch animals eating stuff all day long.

Idiots I can't tolerate for more than two minutes. Probably less.

Odds are, this entry isn't for you. It's being written for a friend who asked where I shop for groceries. But you're welcome to read if you want.

I have a "FreshPass" membership for free grocery delivery from Safeway. For a while there, they were the only delivery option for my small city because all the grocery chains are in nearby cities. Eventually Walmart and InstaCart started offering delivery, but I stuck with Safeway because a lot of what I liked could be purchased from there.

I mean, sure their shoppers are told to shop for your produce like they're you're worst enemy... and they must also be told to not worry about selecting products with an expiry date that hits in three days... but most of the time it's all acceptable enough that the convenience outweighs the bad points.

At least it did until the cost of groceries continued to explode thanks to tariffs... and now the price of fuel thanks to some dumbass starting a war in Iran. When a small bag of salad was $1.49 and I couldn't eat it all before it was sludgy, I could mentally get past it. But now that it's $2.29? And that's one of the cheap items! Having to try and finish a $6.50 loaf of bread when it's already on its way to being stale? No thanks.

So I started shopping for produce and items with low expiration dates locally. They cost more, initially, but the savings over not having to throw out stuff three days after I get it makes it cheaper in the long run.

A month ago I was in The Big City to pick up some things at Costco. Just down the street is Fred Meyer, so I thought I'd stop. I always find interesting vegan and vegetarian finds there. It was during that trip I discovered Beyond Stack Burgers, one of my most favorite foods I've ever had.

It was also where I picked up some frozen Tucson Tamales...

But I hadn't actually cooked one of them until earlier this week.

And they're incredible. Incredible!

Which is why on Saturday I made a pick-up order at Fred Meyer to get more burgers and tamales since the tamales were on sale for $3 each! Along with other things I needed, which made for a staggering grocery bill. $200 for something that feels like it would have cost around $120 just two years ago!

And so... now to shop for groceries, I have to go to five different stores...

• Safeway. PROS: While I have FreshPass membership, delivery is free. Special offers can be quite good on many items. Vegetarian offerings are reliable. CONS: Variety of vegetarian options is monotonous and rarely adventurous and new. Delivery produce is absolutely awful. Anything perishable will likely be close to expiration.
• Fred Meyer. PROS: A 25-minute drive to get there. Many times they have new and interesting vegan and vegetarian foods to explore... and the number of items in those categories is larger than Safeway. Their special offers are fantastic for single people. Instead of making you buy a large number of the same item to get a sale price, they give you a large pool of many wildly different items and let you save money on each of them. CONS: No delivery in my area. Their bagged salads are always in poor condition.
• Costco. PROS: Crazy-good prices on popular items. A wonderful company I'm happy to support. CONS: A 25-minute drive to get there. Having to buy in such large quantities is tough for single people, so I can only really buy non-perishables. Rarely enough checkouts open.
• Walmart. PROS: Sometimes I see stuff on sale here for such a low price that it's unmatched anywhere else. They have some unique products I love (Jack's Pizza Sticks are delicious). A more reasonable 15-minute drive from my home. CONS: Never enough checkouts open. The foods I buy most often are not available here... or if they are available, they're not always from a brand I care for.
• Local IGA. PROS: Six minutes from my house, so it's easy to pick up produce and perishables that aren't bottom-of-the-barrel. They sometimes have surprisingly unexpected vegetarian options... like these phenomenal Deep Indian Kitchen Kati Street Wraps that I haven't seen anywhere else. CONS: Expensive. Sometimes ungodly so.

Sometimes I shop at Albertsons, which has my favorite layout of any store in the valley. But they own Safeway where my delivery comes from, so I don't have reason to go there unless I'm nearby. Which is rare.

And there you have it. How I shop for groceries.

I bought my car in December 2024. It has never been washed. I park it outside when it rains and don't worry about any dust that accumulates. I just don't care about having a meticulously-maintained car. It's far from a priority in my life. Way down the list.

But then... I parked under a tree where birds ended up shitting all over it. Seriously covered. No amount of rain was going to clean it off. That was embarrassing enough that I relented and went to the carwash.

So now my vehicle is all shiny clean and I've marked my calendar to see if I can go even longer than I did this time before washing. In a day and age when fresh water is a vanishing resource, it seems like a responsible attitude to have!

Or I'm just lazy.

Though at some point, I should probably think about running a vacuum on the inside of it.

I was quite young when I realized my "mind's eye" is blind.

Unlike the majority of people who can "see" stuff in their head, I do not. When I try to close my eyes and envision a red apple, I see only darkness. The closest I can get is to think about a red apple and describe it's attributes to myself while seeing absolutely nothing.

This condition is called "aphantasia."

And if you're wondering what I'm talking about, then there's a test you can take to understand it a bit. My answer to every one of the questions is the first one: No image at all, I only know I am thinking of the object. Coupled with this is also a condition called "Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory" (SDAM). This means that not only can I not envision things in my mind's eye... I also cannot re-experience past events.

An example of SDAM is me thinking back to when I was in Rome and staying at a hotel at the top of the Spanish Steps. I remember trudging up the stairs with a gelato cone. I can remember what the texture and color of the steps were. I can remember the buildings and the people. I haven't forgotten a thing. But when I close my eyes and try to re-live the experience, there's nothing there...

And so... now you know why I take hundreds of pictures whenever I travel somewhere. It's the only way I can visually re-experience what I experienced is to look at the images and videos.

Since I've had this condition since birth (or so I'm guessing), I don't know what I'm missing. I've never experienced it. But I am extremely jealous of people who can. I would love to be able to close my eyes and see my mom's face. Or the places I've been.

Between all this and my mild dyslexia, I'm assuming that my brain damage makes my life a bit less fun than most people's.

This also extends to how I dream.

In that I don't. I'm never having these vivid dreams where I'm flying... or walking on Mars... or whatever. It's always the same. When I'm "dreaming" it's like I'm sitting in front of a screen where I'm "drawing" the objects by description. I'm not actually seeing anything in my head. Which is not much fun at all.

But anyway...

The reason all this popped into my head just now is that J. Craig Venter died.

He's the genius geneticist who was the first to decode a bacteria genome, which lead to a genetics renaissance which culminated in decoding the human genome.

He also had aphantasia...

Rest in Peace, sir.

NEWSFLASH: RFK Jr. plans to curb antidepressants, which he falsely compares to heroin.

I've had crippling anxiety since I was 17. I know the age because I can remember the first anxiety-fueled attack I had with crystal clarity. Couldn't breathe. Felt like I was dying. Didn't know what was happening. Couldn't put a coherent thought together. At the time I thought I was having a heart attack. Everything was dialed to 11 and I was in quite a lot of pain.

Not knowing what was happening, mom took me to the doctor. We were told that it was a "panic attack" and I would be fine once I calmed down. Which I did. But I was still so rattled the next day that I still didn't feel like myself. The best word I can think of to describe my condition is... scrambled.

I have no idea what triggered the attack. Whatever it was probably disappeared as I was trying to deal with it all.

A couple times a year I'd get hit again, but it was never as intense as the first time. Probably because I understood what was happening to me. Though it could still get pretty bad. It's called crippling anxiety for a reason. It incapacitates you and you literally can't function.

Eventually I visited Thailand and looked to make some changes in my life. I started meditating, and that allowed me to manage my anxiety fairly well. I did have to run to initial care a couple times over the years for help, but I was never put on any medication.

Until I was.

Caring for a parent with dementia drove up my anxiety levels every single day, and it just kept getting worse and worse and worse. Far worse than it ever had been. No amount of meditation would touch it. And the fact that I was being incapacitated meant I couldn't care for my mom... let alone myself. Which probably made things even worse.

And so... my doctor ran me through the SSRI gauntlet, where you keep trying different options until something works. Or at least makes life with anxiety manageable. And we hit it on the third try.

I stayed on the pills until three or four months after my mom passed, when I slowly started to get my life back together and go back to meditating to control my stress and anxiety. It wasn't a cold-turkey halting of the drugs. It was a medically-controlled tapering off so that the side-effects don't get too awful. And, despite the FUCKING BULLSHIT NONSENSE BEING VOMITED OUT OF RFK JR.'S STUPID, IGNORANT, ANTI-SCIENCE, PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING ASSHOLE... it wasn't harder than "quitting heroin." Or, if it was, quitting heroin must be a fucking cake-walk, because it was no problem at all. My doctor gave me a schedule and advised me how to do it safely and, after a while, I was done. Back to practicing my meditation.

And then, seven years later, I was at work trying to deal with too much and there it was... an anxiety attack so bad that I was in my car thinking I was dying. All my muscles were so tight that I thought I was going to pass out from the pain. I was jumping out of my skin. My hands and feet were frozen and my fingers were bent back, leaving me clawing at my chest. I would have started screaming, but I couldn't breathe. I don't think that I passed out, but maybe I did. I honestly don't remember.

I didn't mess around. The minute I was able to pick up my phone and dial, I was calling for an emergency appointment with my doctor. YOU KNOW, THE ONLY PERSON QUALIFIED TO GIVE ME FUCKING MEDICAL ADVICE.

Given the severity of the attack, it was decided I would try some milder doses of SSRIs to see if that would allow me to get back to being able to function again.

It did not.

I was spiraling so often so quickly that I went right back to the drug which worked the best for me the first time. From there I worked myself from one pill to three per night. But slowly. Because the side-effects are horrible. Mostly revolving around explosive diarrhea from morning to night... and sometimes in the middle of the night.

Eventually things evened out. And my life started to feel like my own again. Which is to say that my life started to feel like most everybody else's does. Which is to say that any anxiety I'm experiencing is manageable. I don't get so overwhelmed that I can no longer function and am trying to scream while struggling to breathe.

After five or so months when things started to normalize for me, I worked my way down from three pills to two. Two pills to one. And then I was going to go back to zero when I decided that I just didn't fucking want to. I'm old enough now that I simply do not want to spend any more of what little time I have left struggling with my anxiety. I'm done with it. So I met with my doctor and explained where my head was at. He was happy that I had taken the initiative to reduce from three pills to one pill safely (I'd been through it before), and agreed with my reasoning. His training led him to believe I was better off where I was at, so he supported my decision. Medically.

And so...

Every night I take a small yellowish-peachy pill called Paxil.

Then I thank God that Paxil exists and my doctor exists so I can have a normal life that's not being ruled by something I can't control. With that pill I can manage. I can cope. I can be me. And I don't have to live in terror of an anxiety attack appearing out of nowhere and sending my life spiraling...

So fuck RFK Jr. and his stupid ignorant shit. Fuck him sideways.

I have no doubt that there are doctors who over-prescribe. I have no doubt that there are people who are abusing SSRIs. And, yeah, addressing that is probably a good idea. But for RFK Jr. to feel that he gets to overrule my doctor and unilaterally purge/reduce SSRIs for whatever stupid-ass reason (RFK Jr. being somebody who, I'll remind you, has no fucking training for this shit)... well, he can go fuck himself.

I am not going back to where I was when there's a perfectly suitable, perfectly safe, medically-sound, scientifically-studied solution available to me.

And some fascist junkie asshole with no medical training and not a lick of sense in his fucking brain-worm-riddled head has any fucking business telling me otherwise.

I was going to keep blogging while I was on vacation, but it was tough to find the mental strength to pull out my computer knowing all the horrific shit going on in the country and the world. So I left it in my bag. Sorry to my friends who might have thought something horrible happened to me. Sorry to my haters that I wasn't dead this whole time. Better luck next time.

But anyway...

Thanks to an opportunity too good to be true, I found myself heading back to Florida for a Disney cruise. This time on the brand new Disney Destiny. It's basically a re-theme of the Disney Wish, where some of the lounges, restaurants, and shows have been changed. But most everything is pretty much the same.

But I had a couple days in Miami before boarding the ship, so let's start there, shall we?

I've never sat down and made a list of my favorite American cities but, if I did, the South Beach neighborhood of Miami would most certainly be on that list. I have been extremely fortunate enough to have visited multiple times and have always wished I could have stayed longer. This time was no exception.

Whether it's the architecture, the food, or the vibe... South Beach has it all. But, to me, especially the architecture. And especially at night...

Before my late-night walk down Ocean Drive, I took the opportunity to eat at my favorite restaurant in town, Havana 1957. They have a Garden Cuban Salad with a cilantro dressing that will kill you... and a darn good SUPER MOJITO!

If only there was one of these down the street from my house.

I could have easily spent another day in South Beach, but it's almost impossible to visit Miami without a trip to Little Havana. Not just because it's a vibrant neighborhood with an impeccable vibe and awesome music oozing out of every nook and cranny... but because it's an awesome place to wander.

I love it here...

Lunch was at Cubata, a phenomenal restaurant which is a kinda Cuban/Spanish fusion place with incredible tapas to be had. I would have had a drink at the Hard Rock Cafe, but the pig fucking assholes were closed for a "private event"...

I will never, ever fucking understand how a restaurant chain which strives to be a destination event which practically demands that you visit as many as you can will close the entire fucking place without warning. It's happened to me more than a couple times, and it's one of the big reasons I no longer give a shit if I ever visit another one after having been to 172 of them around the world.

And then it was time to return to South Beach, where adorable robots have taken over the city...

One thing's for sure, it was a beautiful day at the beach...

Sadly, it was also my last day at the beach.

Come aboard... it's your Destiny!

I've now been on four Disney ships. The Magic and its twin ship The Wonder... and The Wish, and now it's twin ship The Destiny. The former pair are significantly smaller and more intimate than the latter, but all Disney ships (regardless of size) have the impeccable service and theming you'd expect.

The Destiny is a carbon copy of The Wish which I sailed on last December, but a few of the areas have been changed. Most notably, instead of Star Wars: Hyperspace Lounge you get Haunted Mansion Parlor and instead of Nightingale's you get DeVil's and instead of Tiana's The Bayou you get Doctor Strange's The Sanctum and instead of Arendelle: A Frozen Dining Adventure you get The Pridelands: A Lion King Dining Adventure. And, I gotta say, the Destiny versions are in every way superior. So let's take a look at them, shall we?

I was more than a little disappointed in Star Wars: Hyperspace Lounge because it seemed superficial in its theming. But Haunted Mansion Parlor is another matter entirely. It's brilliantly, beautifully, abundantly themed in every way...

The bar has a magical mirror behind it where ghosts and spirits appear. Including Madame Leota...

The fish tank at the center of the room has skeletal fish appearing and disappearing, and it's a very cool effect...

The portraits on the wall are magical things which change over time and even come to life...

As if that wasn't enough, the drinks are fantastic...

   
DeVil's is a piano bar with an appearance by Cruella herself, and involves you writing a song to honor her with an audience participation angle that's genius. If there's a must-do experience which is 100% worth standing in line for an hour to get into, this is it...

The drinks are pretty amazing too...

   
Doctor Strange's The Sanctum doesn't really have the theming you'd hope for, but the bartenders here were exceptional, and I made repeat visits just to chat with them...

If there's a misstep, for me it would be The Pride Lands: Feast of the Lion King. Probably because I was expecting a show which featured the amazing costumes from Julie Taymor's broadway production... but it was just singing. Great singing, for sure, but that's it...

This is all just the tip of the iceberg. And why a Disney cruise is worth your valuable time to explore.

Yesterday I went over arguably my favorite things about the Disney Destiny... the themed lounges. But, like the other ships in their line, there's a lot of great theming throughout the entire ship. The overall theme is "Heroes and Villains" and most everything is geared around the concept.

For one thing, the regular staterooms can be decorated with either Hercules, Mulan, Brave, Raya, The Incredibles, or Big Hero 6. Mine was Herc...

Hercules is easily the most prominent character on the ship. He's everywhere...

A neighbor was a pretty big Herc fan and decorated their door accordingly...

And his biggest moment is a live stage show that's remarkably well-done. Easily my favorite of any Disney onboard theater show I've seen, with next-level performances. I liked it so much I saw it twice. And I don't even like Broadway...

But villains have a moment too. One of the "big gets" onboard (in addition to the Cruella show I talked about yesterday) is a magic show by Dr. Facilier in his parlor (and I was sure to tell him that he got robbed because he wasn't in the Tiana's Bayou Adventure ride, and he refused to acknowledge the attraction)...

Maleficent had her own show, and appears in various places around the ship in art and furnishings...

Black Panther is the atrium sculpture, but Loki is the one with his own show...

Most cruise ships do their level best to keep you well-fed and entertained, and Disney is no exception. They've got it all. Including... BABY RACING?!?

Gotta tell you... there were a lot of people on their feet screaming at babies to crawl to the finish line. I honestly don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. Probably a good thing.

Except for the trauma of being disqualified because you walked instead of crawled.

When it comes to a cruise, anything less than 3 nights doesn't feel worth it... and anything more than 7 nights feels too long to be trapped on a big boat. My cruise was 5 nights, which is just about perfect. But that's not to say that I was happy about disembarking. Oh heck no. I would have gladly stayed onboard for those two extra nights. Bet.

Since they kick you off the ship early in the morning, most people just book a trip home that same day. I usually do not, preferring to stay an extra night at a hotel. It beats having to spend a big chunk of the day waiting for my flight at the airport. And, even more importantly, this time the cost to fly out the same day was significantly more expensive than waiting for some reason.

So... off to Fort Lauderdale Beach for a bit.

To drink seven mojitos of various flavors. Yes, seven...

The place was The Salty Sombrero, which I highly recommend. Great food, great drinks, great service, great view...

My room also had a great view, but it didn't have somebody serving me fresh mojitos all day...

But of course the beach is always better when you're not having to look at it through a window...

And that was it. All that was left to fly home the next morning...

Oh Florida, don't ever change.

I have no water! They've been digging in the back of my home after a massive leak sprung up, so I'm guessing that might have something to do with it.

Not being able to take a shower is an inconvenience.

Not being able to flush the toilet is problematic.

But not being able to boil water to cook pasta for my butternut squash ravioli with brown butter and crispy-fried sage? Bedlam. It's all I've been thinking about.

Good news, everyone! I have water again! Sunday the pressure was so low as to be non-existent, but I put a pot under the spout and turned the water on all day. Then around dinner time I had just enough water collected to boil pasta so I could have be some butternut squash ravioli in browned butter with crispy-fried sage. Something I've been wanting since I bought everything for it the previous Sunday.

It was pretty delicious...

Today I had to get my car serviced. Before I could even sit down, I had a text providing me a link to tracking the progress on my car. That's nice, I thought.

It sat in the shop for FORTY-FIVE MINUTES before they got around to it. My appointment was at 2:15. They finally started at 3:00...

Then they managed to get the inspection and oil change done in fifteen minutes, which means their time estimate of "about an hour" was correct in the end. But... dang...

The wait was made worse by a guy in the waiting room watching videos on his phone... WITHOUT USING HEADPHONES... which made the entire wait a horrific experience. Why are assholes so rude like this in public? Because they're assholes, I guess.

After that blight on my day, I went grocery shopping, picked up kitty litter at Petco, and grabbed an ice cream cone at the drive-through before heading home.

Where I had water again, thank heavens. Pasta for everyone!

Today I took a couple photos with my iPhone, as I do almost every day. It all went well, the photos were nice, and I went on with my life. Then, about an hour later, I picked up my iPhone and it was hot to the touch. That's when I noticed the camera was still running. I exited out of it, assuming it was hot because I accidentally left the camera going. But when I picked up the phone to go home for the day, it was still hot to the touch. So I rebooted it thinking that something was stuck running and off I went.

The reboot did nothing. Furthermore, I saw that my battery level was almost zero. So I ran upstairs and put it on my wireless charger. But when I finally went to bed, I saw that it would charge enough to turn on, run out of charge immediately, then turn off and repeat the cycle over and over and over.

Multiple resets did nothing, probably because it ran out of charge before it could register the reset. So I finally hooked it up (wired) to the most powerful charger I own. This got it charged quickly enough that I was able to shut it down completely before it ran out of power. And when I woke up, it was back to normal.

At which point I realized that I left a malfunctioning phone plugged in all night.

I'm lucky it didn't explode.

In other news, I think I'm too susceptible to social media marketing.

There's a content creator who operates under What the F Show who has been making some Nerf War skits that have been making me regret giving away my Nerf gun...

And so I spent a whole $7 to order a new one. Just to have on-hand, because sometimes I like shooting random visitors to my house with a Nerf dart.

Plus I'll feel safer at night knowing that I'm armed.

I have yet to run across a word that offends me. Words are, after all, just words. Sure there's ways of stringing words together which can be offensive, but overall I cannot be bothered.

And because of the way I don't process words as "bad," I have a tough time understanding the pearl-clutching that can ensue when somebody hears a word they don't like. I mean, certainly you don't want to say bad words in front of young children who don't have the mental capacity to mimic such words in inappropriate places, but adults can choose to ignore things quite easily.

Today I ran across this clip from the movie Office Romance on Netflix which reminded me of a situation several years ago...

I was in Chicago meeting with some work colleagues at a bar down the street. A friend from the UK was in town, so I invited him along. At some point in the evening, my friend and I were telling stories about each other to my co-workers, when he started his next story with "Let me tell you about this cunt right here!" My co-workers laughed, but two women at the table next to ours did not. They were both upset, but one of the women was completely enraged. My friend apologized and said he forgot that word was viewed differently here, but that did nothing to appease the angry women who took their drinks and walked to another table across the bar.

"What a cunt!" my friend said, as everybody bust out laughing.

A part of me was wondering if we would get asked to leave because the women complained. But, if they did complain, it fell on deaf ears because we were there for another couple hours.

The next day at work I found out from one of my coworkers that the angriest woman did complain about us. But the bartender, who was a woman, just said "Okay" and that was the end of it.

I mentioned it to my British friend a couple nights later before I headed home.

His thoughts on the bartender? "Now THAT'S a cunt!"

   
I am so tired, y'all.

Decades ago, I was a kinda-sometimes programmer. Mostly for personal use in a programming languages called Pascal (followed by Modula-2, C++, Objective-C, Perl, Java, and Rust).

Along the way I picked up a few tools which made programming easier. Editors, outliners, re-compilers, and the rest. One thing that I didn't pick up was learning RegEx (or "regex" if you're boring).

Shorthand for Regular Expressions, this is a tool which allows you to search for text in interesting and helpful ways... then act on what you find. And I don't know why I never looked at it. I had certainly heard of it, but ignored it for forever.

Until I couldn't.

This week I have been working on a difficult work project when I finally ran into a wall. I needed to alter hundreds of occurrences of text which was ever-changing. I had no idea how to do it. I assumed there would be a tool that allowed wildcard functions. And there are some. But none of them could do what I needed to do, and I resigned myself to manually changing everything.

And all of a sudden I remembered RegEx.

The reason I couldn't find a tool which did what I needed was because it had already been invented in the 1950's.

Twenty minutes later, and I had learned what I needed to learn and had completed a task which would have taken hours.

My biggest regret in life is that I didn't learn how to learn RegEx earlier than I did.

   
No.

Last Wednesday I woke up and had a massive spot in my vision. After years of stuff like this, I didn't panic. I thought perhaps it was a new floater, and eventually my brain would learn to disregard it just as it had a dozen times before.

But this time it was different.

Then it disappeared. Kinda. But it left a massive blurry spot behind, which caused a doozy of a headache. So I visited my awesome optometrist who took photos of my eye. She was concerned that her equipment (which is mostly built for prescribing glasses and contacts and monitoring general eye health) wasn't extensive enough to see what's going on, so she made me an urgent appointment at the ophthalmologist.

And today was the day.

The took new photo scans of my eyes... including some a machine I had never seen before.

Turns out there's a tear on my retina...

It's that nasty green thing at the top...

Dumb luck worked in my favor, because a surgeon happened to be walking by as he was leaving for the day and saw my pictures. He walked into the room to take a look in my eye for himself and said that I should have surgery to put a scar around the tear so it doesn't get any bigger and detach my retina. That sounded scary, so I asked how soon I could get on the schedule to have it done.

"I'm going to do it right now."

Next thing I know, I'm staring into a laser gun with a lens stuck to my eye as my amazing surgeon starts blasting hundreds of flashes of light at my retina... damaging the tissue so it will scar over and make a barrier to keep my tear from spreading and causing serious problems.

I was told it might hurt and feel like a dull ache in my eye. I felt it, but it didn't hurt.

When I left the clinic, it was empty. Which made me realize how lucky I was to have a doctor care so much about protecting my vision that he stayed late to take care of it.

I was able to drive home with two pairs of sunglasses on my face and was fine. For about an hour. Then the dull ache pain thing started happening, so I took an overdose of Advil with a Benadryl chaser and went to bed. And once the pain drifted away, so did I.

I slept for 9-1/2 hours, which is more sleep than I've gotten in decades. And now I'm sitting in bed with my cats trying to pull out of my sleep-haze so I can get to work.

Which is sure to be fun because the blurry spot is still there, and I'm told it could be six months before my brain can make it go away enough so I don't notice it.

Don't get old, folks... there's nothing good that comes of it. One day things are fine, the next day your eyeball is falling apart.

My eye felt... bruised? I guess? today. But was otherwise pain-free. The only problem I faced was my eye feeling tired. And moving my eyes made it tired faster, so I tried to look straight ahead and move my head around to where I needed to see.

Last night when I would close my eyes to try and sleep, my lasered eye would display a light show of red lines which looked something like this...

This morning I was surprised to find that the lines were still there whenever I closed my eye... even if it was just a blink. Distracting and annoying. But it was gone after a few hours, so no harm no foul, I guess.

I thought I would probably take my pills and go to bed at 7pm, but it's almost 8pm and I'm going to see if I can make it until 9pm so that my sleep schedule (such as it is) won't be wildly disrupted.

In the meanwhile, I am trying to adjust to a huge blurry spot in my vision and hope that I can either get used to it or it will diminish in time.

My eye is still feeling a bit bruised after surgery, but that's not the problem.

The problem is that it's like I've been punched in the eye. Not from pain, but from swelling on my lower lid... even though there's no swelling. Instead it's more like a haze along the bottom (because the tear was at the top and things get reversed in your eye... our brains switch things right-side up).

Eventually my brain will be able to eliminate the haze at the bottom from the top and the chunk floating at the top from the bottom. At least I hope so.

It's tiring having to concentrate all day long to see... though, oddly enough, it's difficult to actually fall asleep. And so I've been falling asleep to my Disney movie collection each night. Last night was The Rescuers and tonight I'm watching The Emperor's New Groove...

This is a criminally underrated movie.

Especially since it features Eartha Kitt's delightful villain, Yzma, who steals the film at every turn...

The rumor is that the big coaster in "Villains Land" has been re-imagined to be an Yzma coaster. I sure hope that's true, because I can't imagine a better source material for an attraction.

When I was a kid, one of my favorite toys was my View-Master.

In an age before videotapes, DVDs, on-demand programming, and personal computers, it was a way to watch my favorite shows and movies... and travel the world... when such activities were impossible for me.

Last night while I was working I turned on YouTube and ran across this cool video on View-Master which is worth sharing. Especially if you're familiar with the device...

Pretty amazing, right? It opened a new world for an entire generation.

Today was the follow-up to the surgery of my surgery. It went fine. Some fluid build-up under my surgical scar, but it would likely resolve itself. I drove home thinking that I was good for a few more years at least.

Turns out I was off by a few years.

After I got home from work I received a phone call from my surgeon saying that he consulted with another surgeon who spotted another tear on my retina. It was smaller, but should be taken care of. He then told me that the second surgeon also wanted to reinforce the surgery I just had given this new information.

I asked when I could be scheduled.

He said "Can you be here at 11 tomorrow?

Last week I had me some laser eye surgery in order to try and halt a tear in my retina before it ripped through completely. It went fine, my surgeon was great, and I walked away thinking that I'd be okay for a while... until the next time.

Which, as it turns out, was today.

And this time was SO much more painful.

Especially once the anesthesia wore off and I can feel where he jabbed me with the syringe multiple times... and where he had to push on my eye in order to force liquid out from under my previous surgery so he could super-laser it again... and where the laser burned my retina.

I have a high pain tolerance because I'm an alpha male like that, but still had to tap out at least five times because I needed a minute. Not just from having my eyeball pushed into my skull and the burning of my retina, but from the light so my surgeon could see inside... not to mention the laser itself.

But anyway...

THE GOOD: I'm alive, my vision will mostly return, and my surgeon was happy with how things went.

THE BAD: It will take weeks to months for my vision to mostly return... that second tear they found had to be dealt with which prolonged everything... and ... this likely isn't over. It's only a matter of time before I have to go again.

CONTRAST ENHANCE...

In other good news, my third doctor was just as awesome as my previous two. And he appreciated that humor is my coping mechanism. On top of the laser was protective eyewear, and I asked him to give me a pair because I didn't want the laser to accidentally blind me...

This might have been too much for him. But, hey, I was getting crap injected in my eye and having lasers burning my retina. I could have started screaming!

After I was set free I had to take a nap in my car in the parking lot after, but ended up throwing on two pair of sunglasses so I could drive home.

Along the way I had a disastrous visit to McDonald's which I'll talk about tomorrow.

And once I got home, I passed out on the couch.

And here I am. Feeling like I got punched in the eye and there's blurry spots everywhere.

Overall this was not a good time. Do not recommend. Unless you're going to lose an eye... then you probably want to put on your big boy pants and get it done.

It was a rough night. According to my Apple Watch I only got 4-1/2 hours of sleep. I think I kept touching my eye or rolling on it which woke me up.

And when my alarm went off this morning, I was in quite a lot of pain. It feels like I've been punched in the eye. Except I wasn't. My doctor had to press on my eye hard enough to squeeze the liquid out from under my first surgery so he could try and better contain the tear on my retina so it doesn't spread and detach. A half hour of somebody poking your eye out don't feel great once the anesthesia they shoot into it wears off.

My cats must have sensed something was wrong, because I found them next to me whenever I woke up...

   
BUT THAT WASN'T ALL THE PAIN I GOT THIS MORNING!

This was waiting for me in my email in-box...

This is “health insurance” in America.

One health problem has me hitting 75% of my full-price, high deductible... and this doesn’t even include my much more intensive second surgery yet.

The cost for all this will be thousands upon thousands of dollars. It will easily wipe out my health savings account and likely wipe out my regular savings as well. And this is for one eye. Can you imagine if it were something far worse?

I’m just thankful that I have savings to draw from. And, believe it or not, I consider myself lucky to have insurance... because I might not have even been able to afford to go to the doctor in the first place if I didn’t.

Americans are paying thousands upon thousands of dollars for insurance which results in thousands upon thousands of dollars in medical bills.

This is fucking insanity.

Yet politicians who were bought by the insurance lobby tell us we have the best health care in the world.

Why aren’t Americans sick of this fucking scam yet?

After nearly two weeks of eye trauma spoiling my plans, I decided to head over the mountains to hang out with friends and forget about the day-to-day grind for a while.

The drive over was mostly a good one.

I still can't wrap my head around three things...

1. Drivers who have no plans to drive the speed limit, and are happy to be fucking over dozens of other cars by inviting other drivers to dangerously try and pass them (seriously... if you or your car can't go the speed limit, maybe it's time to stop driving).
2. Aggressive drivers who don't care about anybody's safety by driving like complete assholes... even when everybody else on the road is driving the speed limit or higher. One of the people who could end up dead is you, dumbass.
3. Why does the State always have multiple projects fucking things up on the same roadway at the same time? When your two-hour-and-fifteen-minute trip is 40 minutes longer than usual, it's a problem. In other countries (probably in other states) they focus effort on knocking out one project at a time so that they don't have to have many, many stops along a single route. But my state? No.

All that being said... it could have been worse. I could have been going East instead of West. The traffic heading East was insane. Just a massive line for miles and miles. If I were in the middle of that, I'd have to ask myself if the weekender trip was even worth it.

Maybe it's because I am a homebody at heart now-a-days... but for me the answer would be "no."

I have been plugging away on a project at work for nearly six months. It's not so much a difficult assignment as one which is highly complex with a lot of confusing parts. And since I've always got a dozen things going on, sorting through those parts is always getting put on the back burner. Until there was no time left. With a deadline looming, I worked all through the night... reading staggering amounts of documentation and plugging numbers into a spreadsheet in an attempt to understand it all.

And this morning at 2:37am, I finally got a handle on it all.

No idea how I'm going to stay awake tomorrow, but I'm too relieved to worry about it right now.

There’s a tiny fuzzy spider that lives in my bedroom. He’s never bothered me, so I’ve just let him be.

Once I found him on my bed, but I just shooed him off. I’ve had to rescue him from Jenny twice, which had me worried that she would eat him and throw up everywhere, but he always comes through.

For some reason he is most active in the mornings which is when I usually see him. It’s safer at night, but I have never seen him climbing a wall or anything after the sun goes down.

But then... this morning I got out of bed to feed the cats, and nearly fell trying to avoid stepping on him. It’s a miracle I even saw him he’s so small. It’s only because he was moving that I was able to spot him.

And so... I finally took him outside, where hopefully he’ll be safer and not get stepped on. Here is a photo I snapped before I caught him where he is looking directly at me...

I feel bad that I kicked him out of the house... but less bad than if Jenny ate him out I ended up with his guts on the bottom of my feet.

Good luck, little buddy.

I've had three wasp nest encounters.

The first was at my mom's apartment where I saw a massive nest had been built under her balcony eave. I hated the idea of mass murdering them, but I hated the idea of my mom getting attacked more, so I opened the sliding door a crack, soaked the nest with RAID Wasp Nest Killer, waited a bit, then got a shovel to fling the soaking mass into the field behind the building.

The second was the first Summer after I moved into my home. Wasps had built a small nest outside my bedroom on the second floor. They didn't bother anybody, so I just left it there. I assume that wasps perform some necessary function in nature, so I let them be.

The third time they started building a nest under my front porch. There was absolutely no way I could have them attacking people coming to my home (including me!), so I once again bought a can of wasp killer and tried to kill them while the nest was still under construction and small so the murders would be minimized.

Remember my fuzzy spider roommate I talked about yesterday?

Well now I have three wasps living on my security camera...

It's a NEST camera. And so I guess the wasps decided it was an advertisement to build a new nest there.

I sure hope not.

I went outside to shoo them away, but then I felt it started raining, so I let them be. Maybe they were just hiding from raindrops and not building a NEST nest after all?

I hope so. I really don't want to have to murder any creatures this week.

Having lasers shot into your eye sounds very cool. And, if it's keeping you from losing (more) of your eyesight, it most definitely is.

But not as cool as shooting lasers out of your eyes, surely.

As of today, it looks like I may be done with lasers for a while. The latest imaging shows that the intentional laser damage is scarring over nicely. This will hopefully keep my retina from shredding apart any further. All the green dots in this photo along the top are where lasers burned holes in my eye...

Now it's just a matter of time until I find out how much of my eyesight will come back. The hope is that once the blood which has settled at the bottom is absorbed and all the tissue which exploded has either disintegrated (or my brain learns to ignore it) that I'll be kinda-sorta-mostly visually normal. Whatever that is.

Until then, I see like this...

Which, as you can imagine, is headache-inducing because the spots and blurry bits are always moving around.

It's best if I don't wear my eyepatch so my brain can get a handle on how things are and try to adapt a bit... but it's sometimes easier if I wear it for a while so my head doesn't split open.

In other news, if I ever start a band, it's definitely going to be called Intentional Laser Damage.

   
• Licenses for Luddites! Just a reminder that the Washington State government is regressive as fuck when it comes to digital driver's licenses... but is very quick to tout us as a bastion of technology around election time. Patty Murray and Maria Cantwell blow through tax dollars like Kleenex for everything else... why not help us keep up with (checks notes) West Virginia and Arkansas on stuff like this. It's fucking embarrassing, and we're tired of having to carry a license around when our phones are already with us. We're nearly half-way through the states who have them. Will Washington get in before #25 hits? Let's take a look at where we're at, shall we?

• Arizona (since March 2022)
• Maryland (since May 2022)
• Colorado (since November 2022)
• Georgia (since May 2023)
• Ohio (since July 2024)
• Hawaii (since August 2024)
• California (since September 2024)
• Iowa (since October 2024)
• New Mexico (since December 2024)
• Montana (since August 2025)
• North Dakota (since September 2025)
• West Virginia (since October 2025)
• Illinois (since November 2025)
• Arkansas (since May 2026)
• Connecticut (coming soon)
• Kentucky (coming soon)
• Mississippi (coming soon)
• Oklahoma (coming soon)
• Utah (coming soon)
• Virginia (coming soon)

Spoiler Alert: Not. Fucking. Likely. If they haven't pulled the trigger by now, they've likely got zero plans. They've got Big Pharma checks to cash, and that takes priority over everything.

   
• Politics in America! Tell me this isn't how politics work here...

You can't. Because this is exactly how politics work here. No bill is passed "clean" any more... there's always some horrific bullshit tacked onto it.

   
• Narrative! Nobody takes the minutes to verify crap like this before sharing it with the world, and nobody who follows them cares if it's true or not... they believe it because they want to believe it.

Yes. Mamdani went to the ruins of the church... AND DEMOLISHED IT WITH HIS OWN TWO HANDS!! That's how much he hates Christians! Jesus Christ. Do these assholes EVER research this bullshit they shovel? There are people who read this crap AND BELIEVE IT!! And they vote. But not in New York... a place THEY HAVE LIKELY NEVER EVEN BEEN.

   
• Cake! "No one’s gotten a cake for me before. I bought my own cake in the middle of the night and blew out my own candles alone." (Here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

It hurts my heart that there are people so cruel that they would want a fellow human be alone for the rest of their life because of who they love. This man found his person and his community. He's hurting nobody by existing. Let him pursue his happiness, celebrate his birthday with people who care about him, and live in peace. For God's sake... just be kind.

   
• "You didn't mention the donkey!" Given the abhorrent state of the world today, I often find myself scouring YouTube for something funny to distract me. And few things are as hilariously distracting as Would I Lie To You...

If you want more, there's a channel right here.

   
• Witchcraft! I love videos which explain science in a way you can understand it without having a science background. This one had me captivated from the start...

Wild stuff. And very cool.

   
Since it's been a full two hours since my last nap, I guess it's time.

The phrase "taking notice thrice" most commonly refers to a foundational mindfulness technique rooted in Buddhist practice, where an individual mentally repeats an emotion or state three times to detach from it.

And right now I am mentally repeating "rage, rage, rage" in an attempt to detach from it so I can try to get past the all-consuming anger which has been overwhelming me for days.

It's not working.

Sorry I've been absent for... ummm... two weeks?

In case you haven't been keeping up with the news, the fires here in Eastern Washington State have been seriously scary. Spokane, in particular, has been catching fire. The city had evacuations of around 65,000 people at one point. 900 structures burned down.

Spokane is three hours to the East of me. But there are fires to the North as well. The combination of which has filled the skies in my region with smoke...

And, as you may know, I have severe smoke allergies.

In order for my lungs to endure it, I am taking medication which tears up my stomach. So I try not to take it except when needed to be able to work. The rest of the time my eyes water, my nose runs, and my lungs... itch. And that's the worst part. Itching from the inside and not being able to do anything about it.

And so...

I hunker down at home with my air purifiers and try to do nothing so I don't have to be medicated.

Including blogging.

But then today things were a little better. No idea if it's going to stay that way for a while.

I plan on enjoying it while it lasts.

And so... digital price tags have finally arrived in my region of Redneckistan.

Needless to say, I positively hate them. Mostly because the idea of "dynamic pricing" is shit. Stores raising prices at certain times of the day or to test the maximum people will pay or whatever else shitty things are coming out of it are needlessly consumer-hostile.

But the bigger reason? THEY ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO READ!

They are dim, low-contrast, and have a weird look to small type which makes them hard to see. Given that my eyes are not the best, my only option to actually read the fucking things when they are not at direct eye-level is to take a photo with my iPhone and zoom in to read them that way...

Assuming I can get past the fucking glare. I had to take THREE PHOTOS before I could get an angle where a photo could even help...

There are some laughs to be had, however. Take for instance these tomatoes that were on sale for 00¢ off regular price...

More than a couple signs were malfunctioning, making an already hard-to-read price even harder for visually-challenged people like me. Or anybody, really...

This is at Safeway, which used to truly be my most favorite place to shop. But then they started making it so you can only get discounts if you sign up for marketing. Then they made it so that some discounts were only available if you clipped a digital coupon. Then they made it so you got points but never really know exactly how to apply them. Then they made it so you only got the best savings if you bought them on subscribe-and-save. It's just been a slow decent into madness. And half the time something goes wrong... my coupons don't register so I get charged extra. Or a discount on the shelf doesn't register at the register. Or whatever. It's all such frickin' bullshit. JUST GIVE ME THE BEST PRICE WITHOUT HAVING TO JUMP THROUGH ALL THESE STUPID FUCKING HOOPS!

And, of course, like all grocery stores now-a-days, you are chained to their stupid app. Which also never works right. I wanted some diced potatoes, but the location in the store was obscured. So I clicked on the location icon and it brings up six pages of crap to scroll through, BUT NO FUCKING LOCATION!

Does anybody who develops these apps actually test them? Or use them... AT ALL?!?

I swear, most of the time I get to the point that I never want to shop at Safeway again. But switching to another store is kinda senseless because they're all getting to be the same.

I don't mean to sound like a whiny luddite, but how the fuck did we get here?

The smoke has been clearing quite a lot, making the air quality bad instead of outright toxic. This is not expected to last, however, and the forecast says that the doom smoke will return this evening. Thought I have no clue how they actually forecast any of this. Probably something to do with wind conditions, I'd imagine.

I am attempting to enjoy the respite from constant headache, itchy lungs, watery eyes, and a running nose while I can but, in all honesty, the problem never goes away completely. It's just a matter of degrees. This morning, for example, my headache was still there... it just wasn't so bad that I felt like slamming my head into a wall.

At least not because of wildfire smoke.

There's still plenty of other reasons to slam my head into a wall.

Happy Gravity Reversal Day, everybody!

Since 40-60 million casualties are projected worldwide, I considered canceling my doctor's appointment and reading a book. But it's just my luck I'd be one of the people who actually survives this heinous gravity abnormality, and then I'd end up getting charged for a doctor's appointment that I didn't show up for. And so I hopped in the car and off I went.

The sun was looking very, very angry this morning, thanks to the wildfire smoke returning with a vengeance...

Speaking of angry, my eyeball isn't in the best shape. Some of my blood vessels in there are encased and not filled with blood like they should be (which you can see when my surgeon zoomed in on the right-hand side here...

And so I get to come back in December to have some dye injected so he can get a better picture of what's going on with the vessels in there. Sounds like fun!

The good news is that my optic nerve looks to be in great shape and the laser surgeries to contain my retina falling apart seem to have done the job...

And then... after all that fun... I went to get my 11th COVID shot! Which is to say I've had one COVID shot plus ten boosters, I suppose. My doctor suggested that somebody with my lung problems should get doped up every six months, so I follow the advice of my doctor and scientists who actually study this stuff so I don't end up on a ventilator or something equally terrible. LIKE DEAD! Though if you ask all the wacky conspiracy nuts, I'll be dying from the COVID vaccinations any minute now. Something I've been hearing since my very first vaccination years ago. And yet here I am.

And... oh... would you look at that.

Gravity didn't reverse itself after all!

Yet another thing that scientists said wouldn't happen. But we live in the stupidest timeline where people actually believe the stupid shit they read on the internet, which is why I've been seeing an escalation of idiotic crap like this...

What amazes me is that no matter how many times we hear about the end of the world or anti-science idiocy like gravity reversing or CERN ripping open a hole in space-time or whatever... people continue to believe the dumbasses who just move on to even more asinine predictions when their current prediction fails. There's people lining up to believe some of the stupidest shit imaginable for reasons I can't even begin to guess.

Maybe conspiracies are so much fun to believe that it doesn't matter if they're right or wrong?

Which would explain a lot.

Just checking in to let everybody know that I'm still alive during my 11th COVID vaccination and the 7.3-second full gravity reversal that happened yesterday! Sure I woke up with a bit of a sore arm, but I'm totally not dead. At least not yet.

OR AM I ?!?

For all you know I could totally be dead and typing this from beyond the grave.

Given that the air was new levels of toxic thanks to the wildfire smoke everywhere, I certainly feel like I'm dead...

You can just make out the nearby hills on the left-hand side there. Which is to say it's not a good day to have smoke allergies like me. I end up taking all kinds of pills and inhaler shots to keep my lungs from itching and driving me insane... and aspirin to help push through the headaches.

There ain't enough medicine on earth to take care of the watery eyes and runny nose though. Those I just have to live with.

OR DIE WITH, if you're paying attention.

Though it's entirely possible that I've been AI all this time. Which would be cool because it means the trillions of dollars spent on the crap was worthwhile for something.