I've been seeing a crazy number of YouTube videos about "Disney Adults." Most always in negative terms... IT'S A CULT! and DISNEY ADULTS ARE STEALING THE DISNEY PARKS FROM CHILDREN! and THESE PEOPLE VOTE! or whatever. To support their thesis, content creators are forever churning out these "in-depth analysis" videos which tries to apply psychology and scientific concepts to the idea that adult fans of Disney are delusional cultish freaks who need to be put down for the good of society. Rude!
I don't mind being called a "Disney Adult." There's nothing wrong with being an adult Disney fan. There's fun Disney things to be had as an adult (and some things definitely not to be had).
What I do mind is being accused of being in a "cult." Something that recently happened in the comments on my cruise post. Which I didn't read until Christmas Day. So Merry fucking Christmas to me.
I'm a massive geek for architecture and design of public spaces. Theme parks are a great expression of both, and I had dreams of becoming a Disney "Imagineer" for ages because of it. Studying how the attractions are made is actually more interesting to me than the attractions themselves. This lead to me having a consulting job piggybacked on Disney in Orlando for several years, and I ended up with friends there. Which is why I end up at Disney World so often, and spend time at their parks, resorts, ships, and whatever. At first it was a place to meet up with friends after work. Then, once my work there ended, it was to hang out with friends I met there. — If I had worked with Betty Crocker, I'd have been in Minnesota all the time and posting about the cakes I was eating while working or hanging out with my friends. But it wasn't Betty Crocker, it was Disney... so I'm in a cult?
I'm a graphic designer who's a huge fan of art, in general, and animation, specifically (there was a time I wanted to be an animator before it all went computer graphics). So, naturally, I watch all the Disney animated movies. But I also watch a ton of other animated stuff. Disney is such a small piece of what I'm interested in... but it's an important one (the news that Disney is toying with the idea of returning to hand-draw animated features definitely has me excited). And because of that... I'm in a cult?
As a fan of art, I have a lot of it hanging in my home. A chunk of it is Disney-related because that's where I've been so many times. I was there for work. I was there for the charity I worked with. I was there to meet up with the friends I made who live in the area. I was there three to five times a year for 17 years. I was given Disney art as gifts. I eventually ended up collecting prints by Disney-related artists like Dave Perillo and Jerrod Maruyama to remind me of my trips. But I also collect non-Disney prints by artists like Chris Ware and original comic book art by artists like Amanda Conner and Curt Swan which also hang in my home. I've also got art I bought from my travels around the world, but because Oswald the Lucky Rabbit is on my wall... I'm in a cult?
Because Disney is such a huge part of my childhood (and the years of work I had), I have a lot of Disney memorabilia displayed in my home. But I also have numerous other pieces of memorabilia from my life which has nothing to do with Disney that's on display. Concert programs, signed records, old tin signs, movie posters... not to mention hundreds of photos of my family friends from over the years. But because I framed the Disneyland map I got as a kid... I'm in a cult?
Alrighty then. Pass me the Kool-Aid, I guess...
The above is most of the souvenirs I have from my very first visit to Disneyland when I was ten years old. I kept it all these decades because my parents bought it for me and I couldn't throw it out. Some of what I had was in pretty rough shape, so I managed to find replacements on eBay in better condition...
You can click the photo to embiggen it... or click on this link right here.
The map, for example, hung in my bedroom for my entire childhood, getting faded and having the corners ripped out from the thumbtacks. It took me years to find a replacement. There's loads and loads of old Disneyland maps out there, but I wanted the one with Mickey, Goofy, and Donald dressed in 1776 fife & drum Americana, because that's what I had as a kid. Eventually eBay listed one from an estate sale and, once I bought it, I decided to get everything framed up. It's fun to look at as I walk into my home and remember back to that visit with my family. And it's interesting too. Because boy Disneyland sure was a very different place back then.
Still don't understand how any of this puts me into a cult.
Maybe I should watch more clickbait videos to find out for sure...
That last video is particularly hilarious, because her fucking SurfShark advertisement is more cringe than anything she's presenting as "cringe" in her "takedown"...
But anyway...
Do I think Disney Adults exist which are problematic? Oh hell yes. I run across them every time I'm anywhere Disney-related. Usually they are "social media influencers" and that's what makes them problematic. It's not that they love Disney, it's that they intrude on other people who are just there to have fun. They hold up lines and block traffic to get a selfie or shoot a video. They take over spaces and experience just to get likes at the expense of other people who are trying to enjoy themselves. People who likely spent a considerable amount of money to be there. It's annoying as hell, and dunking on these assholes is justifiable.
And, sure, there actually are people who build their lives around all things Disney and their entire existence revolves around their next trip to Disney World (or Disney-wherever). And good for them. People should be allowed to follow their bliss, be happy, and escape from the horrors of the world doing whatever is going to make life bearable. You do you. It doesn't affect anybody else. Spend the money you have and the time you have however you want.
Because, I gotta say, there are people building their lives around far worse things than Mickey Mouse.
Like spending their time trashing people who are enjoying their best life at zero cost to others as an "influencer.".
Last night after work I went out to eat because it had been a very long day, I was too tired to cook, and I wanted breakfast. And it was wonderful. Perfectly cooked. Perfectly seasoned. I couldn't have made it better myself. It was so good that I was able to overlook the cost, which was expensive. But no more expensive than anything else out there now-a-days, which means it was actually a fair price.
Tonight when it was time to go home after another very long day, I was seriously wanting to go out for breakfast again, but didn't want it to get weird, and furthermore didn't have the money to be spending two nights in a row.
Instead I went home and had cereal with toast. Followed by apple sauce and crackers. Followed by freeze-dried strawberries and more crackers.
And I ate all that in the cold.
Can somebody please explain Apple's thinking when Siri's response to "Hey Siri, make it warmer" inevitably ends up being "It's 70° in here and could take a while to warm up. Are you sure you want to make it warmer?"
When I'm cold and want it warmer, what the fuck difference is telling me a number going to make? Is their thinking that I'm going to hear a number and think "Oh. I guess I'm not cold after all! Never mind, Siri!"... because what kind of stupid shit is that?
Likewise, what good does telling me that it could take a while to heat up going to do? Do they honestly believe that I'm going to hear that and say "Oh, if it's going to take a while, just forget it then!"... because that's even more stupid.
JUST MAKE IT FUCKING WARMER LIKE I ASKED! DON'T WASTE MY TIME WITH THIS NONSENSE THAT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE MY BEING COLD!
This kind of idiotic shit drives me insane. But when it comes to Siri, about all you get is idiotic shit. Siri is 14 years old but, due to how smart everything else is getting smarter while it stays the same, Siri seems to be getting more and more stupid. We were supposed to get an update well over a year ago, but it still hasn't shown up.
What has shown up is a headache, so I guess I'll grab an aspirin and call it an early night.
Assuming my cats don't wake me up because they're cold.
I've given myself permission to just not give a fuck any more.
Want to eat ice cream for breakfast every morning? Go for it. Want to have burgers after work every day? Go for it. Don't feel like cleaning the house for a month? Forget about it. Want to spend the extra money to get the name brand cereal instead of the cheaper store brand version? Whatever. I am just not giving a fuck about what I should be doing because the world is on fire and it just doesn't matter any more.
But it gets better.
I am not engaging with the dumbass boot-licking pieces of shit supporting this country sliding into a toxic shithole fascist state. If what they can easily see with their own eyes isn't enough to convince them to question what they're being told to believe... why waste my time and energy? It's not going to make a lick of difference. You can't compete with willful ignorance.
So I'm just... not... any more.
And I just don't give a fuck. Nor do I give a fuck what other people think about it.
I used to pride myself on keeping up with current events around the world. But lately I just don't have the mental fortitude to see what new horrific shit is going on. It seems to get worse by the day, and the added anxiety would probably push me over the edge.
I slept horribly last night. Tossed and turned and didn't fall asleep until well after midnight. Jenny woke me up a little after 6:00am, and I ended up petting her until it was her breakfast time at 7:00am. After that I went back to bed so I could read some documentation for work and... somehow dropped off to sleep again, and didn't wake up until nearly 10:00am?? That's something that just doesn't happen to me. When I wake up, that's it. I'm awake for the duration. But not this morning...
Nearly eight hours sleep? That's very rare. Any more I feel lucky if I can get five or six!
Then I somehow ended up falling down a rabbit hole of shelter dog adoption videos. Like this one...
And this one...
And this one...
And then I listened to Martin Luther King Jr. speak, amazed as always how his words are more relevant than ever, then got back to work while listening to a podcast called Why this song? which talks to the artists behind popular songs. It started with Hold Me Now by the Thompson Twins, which is one of my favorite tracks of all time. Good stuff.
I've been burning the candle at both ends for months, and it's starting to catch up to me. In one of life's cruel ironies, I get so tired lately that I can't sleep. I start yawning and yawning, so I go to bed... then am wide awake.
And so I run through my social media pages looking for something to distract my mind from all the things that are running through my head that I should be focusing on that's keeping me from falling asleep.
And that's when I reached this...
I laughed out loud, which was a real bummer for my cats who were sleeping next to me.
Jake was a little upset, but quickly fell back asleep.
Jenny, on the other hand, glared at me for far longer than was comfortable, then left in a huff.
Until 4:20am, at which point she got her revenge.
For the last couple of days I have been having allergy problems. Which is bizarre to me because I never have noticeable allergies in January. They always hit me in March and April when new plants arrive... then again in September and October when everything is dying. Summer and Winter are blissfully allergy-free.
But then I went to put the garbage cans back and walked around my yard.
Only to find that there are flowers which never died. And greens are popping up everywhere...
This could be very, very bad for us.
We haven't had snow this year. Any sprinkling we get disappears in short order. The hillsides are bare. The mountains aren't covered nearly enough. This is looking like drought for us this Summer, which means high water prices, rationing, dead lawns, and other problems I don't even want to think about.
Meanwhile... a winter storm of scary proportions is about to hit everywhere from New York to Texas.
Climate change is not cool, yo. Not cool at all.
Is it just me, or has hope for the future dropped to an all-time low?
It's not just one thing, it's everything. Everywhere you turn, there's bad news. I was going to recap with some examples, but I don't want to depress everybody even more than they probably are. Starting with myself.
@thedreameaters happy monday
♬ original sound - The Dream Eaters
I thought I would make myself feel better with some retail therapy, but the thought of buying something I don't need and can't afford... then having to pay the credit card bill... doesn't make me think that it would make me feel any better.
So instead I watched last night's episode of The Traitors (US version) and ate a bag of Bugles corn snacks for dinner.
Probably should have bought a fifth of Jack Daniels.
I did not get much sleep last night.
Which is nothing new to me, because my chronic insomnia makes this just another normal day. I fell asleep around 11:30, woke up at 2:10am. Unable to fall back asleep, I grabbed my phone to doom-scroll social media. At which point Jenny came running in and jumped on my bed so she could get pets.
Since all the social media sites know that I live in Washington State, they naturally assume that I'm hyped because the Seattle Seahawks made it to the Superb Owl to play the Patriots. Which is not the least bit true. Football isn't my game, and I'm more excited to see the ads and what Bad Bunny's half-time show is like than watching the game. The Puppy Bowl and the Kitten Bowl are more important to me.
Now, if a miracle ocurred and The Kraken somehow made it to the Stanley Cup? Count me in for that.
But anyway... back to Seahawk mania.
Some of the stuff coming out of Seattle's good fortune is worth watching. My favorite so far is this one, which made me laugh all four times I watched it...
Interestingly enough, the Seahawks are actually favored to win the big prize! Something they've only done once before in 2014 (though this is the fourth time Seattle has been to the been to the big game, and back in 2015 they lost to the Patriots by 4 points).
I am happy that once the Superb Owl is over we can turn our attention back to hockey where it belongs.
Today I had to run to the Big City to get a haircut. Which is always awful.
Well, not the haircut... the drive to get there.
Despite the fact that Washington State has anti-distracted-driving laws, people 100% do not follow the law. Whether it's texting at a stoplight or watching YouTube videos while driving, people are insane. The average weight of a car in the USA is over 4,000 pounds. Not giving your entire attention to a machine which could easily kill somebody is beyond insane.
But pedestrians make me crazy too.
I was waiting at a crosswalk for somebody to cross the road.
They started across, but then stopped and stared at their phone in front of me.
Now, I have no idea what was going on and like to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to them existing. Maybe they got some terrible news and it shocked them so badly that they forgot they were in the middle of the street. Maybe they have a neurological condition where they can't concentrate on more than one thing at a time. Or maybe they just like torturing drivers by seeing how long it takes them to honk their horn or something. Anything's possible. And since I wasn't in any hurry I just sat there waiting for them to do something. Do anything...
@maxmanticof_ People gotta learn how to cross the street
♬ original sound - Max
Finally, the car behind me honked.
At which point the person continued crossing without even looking up from their phone.
Sooo... who knows? Maybe they were just a self-absorbed asshole who doesn't give a shit that there's people on the road trying to get somewhere. Maybe somewhere to save their life, like a hospital.
Or maybe they just need to get to their life-saving haircut appointment.
There's just no telling.
My cats have zero fucks left to give.
They've been sliding to this point for years, but it was so gradual that I didn't notice. Now it feels like it actually happened over months. Weeks even.
They want what they want and they want it now. And when it comes to what you want... like sleep? Oh hell no. You don't dare deny them what they want!
And while they do have sweet moments with each other like this...
Jake is a mean bear of a brother. If Jenny is sitting somewhere, he'll decide that he wants to sit there, then antagonize her to leave. Not long ago Jenny was laying at the foot of my bed and Jake decided that this is where he wanted to be, so he just goes over and sits on her. Jenny erupts in a flurry off hisses that seem to genuinely confuse Jake, then she smacks him and runs away because he won't leave.
Jake, for his part, then lays down and goes to sleep as if nothing happened.
But don't feel bad for Jenny.
Because she is happy to treat me exactly the same way.
It's me. I'm the one you should feel sorry for.
Books have been written about Gen X and our mentality when it comes to dealing with the world around us. I think way too much is put on the fact that we were incredibly independent due to being latchkey kids (meaning we came home from school to an empty house because our parents were both at work) and not enough put on how we were incredibly independent because we had disconnected lives. There were no mobile phones everywhere to keep us attached.
I remember very well how I could "go out to play" when I got home from school and just... disappear. I could walk downtown or to the park so long as I was back in the neighborhood before dinner. I could hang out with friends at their houses. I could run wild on the hill behind my house (and the rest of the block). When it was dinner time dad would whistle and, if I didn't hear it, the message would be passed on to me by other kids or (more likely) their parents. After dinner I could go back outside until the streetlights turned on. Then it was homework and television time until it was time for bed.
Being disconnected was a very powerful thing as a kid (and as adults, before mobile phones fucked things up).
I was thinking about that today when I saw a kid walking home from school talking on his mobile phone. Not a teenager, but a fairly young kid.
He was never out of touch... unless his battery died.
No matter where he wanders, he's never more than a phone call away from his parents. Or even his friends, assuming they had access to a phone with which to call him.
It just seemed so... odd... to me.
When I was a kid, you made plans with your friends for after school face-to-ace while you still could. Otherwise, you might not be able to find them. You wrote notes. You left word with others. You called and left messages somewhere. It was a different world. But we adapted to it because it was all we knew.
In that respect, I'm glad that I grew up as a Gen X kid. It was the last generation of true freedom.
Not having something stupid or embarrassing I did go viral for the entire world to see is just icing on the cake.
I worked a very long day, but after arriving home I couldn't help but feel as though it was Sunday and the end of my weekend. No idea why. Maybe it's because I traveled all day Sunday, and Monday was a holiday for me? Whatever the case, all my plans to clean house, unpack my suitcase, and wash clothes went out the window because I felt displaced and exhausted.
So I caught up on A Knight of The Seven Kingdoms instead.
I wish I remembered more about the book, but that was 25 years ago. From what little I do remember, the series is faithful to the source material. I don't remember the flashbacks in the fifth episode, but I appreciate that they tried to flesh out Ser Duncan as a character with a backstory which fit nicely into the battle.
With one episode left to go, I am hopeful that they don't fuck it up at the end. The awful taste of the final season of Game of Thrones is still in my mouth, so you can forgive me having doubts.
One thing I can't get over is just how impeccably cast the leads are. Peter Claffey as Dunk and Dexter Sol Ansell as Egg are just too good to be true...
With each episode they do not falter. The show could have so very easily collapsed under a shitty child lead, but dang is he good. Duncan the Tall is a character that could have gone badly wrong if the actor didn't have a subtlety that felt authentic, but Claffey feels like he's inhabiting the character in a way that works for the series every minute he's on-screen. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms makes you appreciate brilliant casting at a level many shows can only hope to reach.
And, on that note, I guess I'll try to get some sleep.
Something which, understandably, hasn't been easy for me after my sojourn to Kansas City.
Last Friday I had a meeting for work in The Big City. I didn't finish in time to get back to the office before quitting time, so I decided to go to Petco for kitty litter and then Costco. I renewed my decade-long-expired membership to support them after they decided to say "Fuck your anti-DEI bullshit," but haven't actually shopped in a store. Instead I bought a few things via Mail Order.
I was surprised that now you scan your membership card to get in the store instead of showing it to a door guard. Though there's still a door guard because my membership didn't have a digital photo attached. They asked me if I wanted a physical card and I declined because I assumed I could add a digital card to my Apple Wallet. But you can't? You have to use the Costco app. Oh well.
Because it was a Friday at 3:30, Costco was incredibly busy. Way, way too busy for me to be comfortable.
Because the more people in a place, the bigger the possibility you're going to run into assholes.
And assholes I did find. Three incidents stand out...
An asshole-unrelated problem is that Costco isn't laid out very well. When the checkout lines back up, they completely cut off the snack aisles at the front of the store. This is probably a good thing for me... I don't need to be eating loads of snacks... but it is disappointing. Who knows what tasty goodness I could have discovered.
So... yeah... thus ended my adventure in Costco.
I've been plagued by a looming sense of dread all week. No idea what that's all about... other than the usual news cycle... but Im really ready for it to be over. Maybe I need a distraction?
After Jury Duty changed everything about a reality television series, it's hard to believe that anybody would fall for it again, but here we go...
I am hopeful.
Jury Duty was phenomenal entertainment, and if Company Retreat is even half as good, I'll be thrilled to tune in for it.
And, to be honest, being "thrilled" to be doing anything now-a-days is a nice change.
I am used to multi-tasking. I do it all day long, and it doesn't matter if I'm at work or home. As I'm typing this, I have another window monitoring a data import for work, I have a video playing on my television called
Betelgeuse Is "Eating" Another Star…and its Concerning, I've got a second video playing in the corner of my laptop where William Osman is responding to "Uncle Roger cyber bullied me", all while being careful that I don't smack into Jake who is sleeping against me. As if all that wasn't enough, I'm off-and-on answering a work email while thinking through some problems I'll have to resolve when I get back to the office.
I think nothing strange about doing a shitload of things at the same time. It's just how I am.
At least I didn't think it strange until the astronomy video Just. Got. Interesting, and I had to set aside everything else so I can focus on how the companion star is revving up Betelgeuse. Then it seems very strange that I am trying to do so much while something so interesting is being explained.
And... I'm back.
Though I just started the latest Kurzgesagt video, Let’s Travel to the Scariest Place in The Universe, so my attention to this blog entry may be fleeting.
But here's the thing about multi-tasking all the time... I find it almost impossible to wind down and do important things like... relax... and sleep. You would think that I would burn out and crash but it never happens. And that's getting to be a serious problem for me.
I am averaging just three to four hours of sleep a night.
The problem, however, is not that I am dragging ass all day and can't function... that's never been an issue (maybe because I traveled constantly for decades and jetlag wasn't an option). No, the problem is that I feel like I'm losing years of my life. Like I'm being burnt out day after day and it's only a matter of time before my brain implodes or my body gives out.
I'm not sure what to do about it.
Perhaps it's a problem which will resolve itself as I age. I simply won't be able to keep up with constant activity, so I'll slow down naturally.
Perhaps one day I'll discover that magical combination of meditation and exercise which fixes my ability to wind down.
Or perhaps I'll drop dead from pent-up exhaustion.
Whatever happens, I'm looking forward to finally getting a good night's sleep.
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