My cats saved my life this past week. Again. It's an annoying habit they have whenever I'm circling the drain of depression and despair.

But enough about me...

Sometimes when Jenny comes up to me to be petted, she's wet. Never smells like urine as if she's peed all over herself, so I just figured she's been rubbing against something wet out in the catio and dismissed it. But then... I was petting her, she left, went and got a drink of water, then came back wet. And there it was. Her tongue that's half paralyzed (which is why she makes such a mess when eating wet food) is somehow splashing water everywhere which then bounces off of whatever to land on her. Or maybe her tongue is throwing it on her back? Weird. One of these days, I'm going to have to run over to her while she's drinking so I can try and figure out exactly how it's happening. Because it seems physically impossible.

Jenny seems to alternate between being wary of me...

Or resentful of me...

Except when asleep, of course...

Or pretending to be asleep...

Or when I'm petting her. Wet fur and all.

Remember how proud I was that my cats are so polite as to not wake me up when I'm sleeping? They come into my bedroom, and if I'm asleep they walk back out? Well that was good while it lasted. Jenny started waking me up after I went on vacation then went away for the holidays. She comes in, jumps on the bed and starts meowing until I pet her. Usually between 2am and 3am. Then, it's like she told Jake, so now he's doing it as well? The little shits! If I ignore Jake, he'll leave. But Jenny? Oh hell no! She will keep meowing until you give her the attention she wants.

But it's not all bad news.

I found out that Jenny likes my bomb-ass potato salad. She licked the bowl after I had finished...

And Jake still refuses to leave my side since I got home from Christmas vacation...

I wonder if this is an age thing?

Because I used to leave all the time when they were younger and never had them waking me up when I got back.

Oh well. There are worse problems to have.

I fall down internet rabbit holes very, very easy.

Usually it's animals. I start looking at animal videos and it's so mentally soothing that I can't stop myself. It's the ultimate feel-good hit. But there's lots of other things that get me hooked. Woodworking. Travel. Animation. Art. The list goes on and on. And then there's tattooing.

If I had my way, I'd have minimum quadruple the tattoos I have now. I love tattoos. Even more than that, I love the art of tattoos. Which is why the Instagram algorithm has my number. It's filled with tattoo artists, because they know odds are that I'm going to click through.

And then this morning I ran across "TrippyCats" by Jiho Yoon. And while lots of the tattoos are indeed very trippy, I love the ones that are less trippy...

Has me very close to wanting to buy a ticket to Seoul and book an appointment!

There's a big trend on social media where people are posting photos of themselves from 2016... ten years ago.

I decided to go back to 2016 for Jake and Jenny, because I got them for my mom in 2016. Which means that they're over ten years old, which seems impossible. The Human Society didn't know exactly when the cats were born, but based on what they were able to find out, they were guessing the first week of December. Since they have to have a birthday to celebrate, I picked December 6th, 2015. We picked them up on February 16th, 2016.

Still one of the better days of my life...

It's so funny how they're so easily recognizable. They look the same. Except smaller.

In the case of Jake, a lot smaller.

Don't fear the reaper... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Cardio! For somebody whose on the internet way more than he would ever admit, it's genuinely shocking that I somehow missed this viral video from last year...

Poor thing. She nearly had a heart attack. And can you really blame her?

   
• Pet Heaven! Oh man. I need to get Jake & Jenny baptized so they can get into Pet Heaven! Never even thought of it!

A friend sent me this video because they call their cat Boo-Bear, just like I call Jake Boo-Bear. Or "Bubair" if you'd rather.

   
• That Mitchell & Webb Look! The fact that you know what's coming just makes it all the funnier...

David Mitchell is phenomenal in the BritBox series Ludwig, if you're looking for something good to watch.

   
• Fart Patio! I miss Portlandia...

There's something about scathing satire which speak truth in a way you love to see.

   
• I'm Donut! I look forward to this event every Christmas, but didn't find it last year. But they did reenact it, so I must have somehow missed it...

Some traditions should never die. Especially when donuts are involved.

   
• Gain? I've been in a lot of smelly situations. I've had some smelly jobs. But there is nothing... NOTHING... that I've experienced which is worse than the horrific stench of Swiffer "Fresh-Scent with Gain" mop pads. I accidentally purchased them instead of the usual Swiffer I get (the boxes look almost identical) and have been trying to use them every once in a while because it's wasteful to throw them in the trash. Especially given how expensive they are. Tonight I spilled spaghetti sauce in my kitchen and grabbed the Swiffer. And now, in the middle of winter, I have all the doors and windows open because my house smells like total ass. I do not understand how people want their house to smell like this shit. I regret using them every time, and I really, really need to suck it up, take the L, and toss them... because this is awful awful awful.

   
• Greenland? Maybe I'm cynical in that I think this whole load of nonsense about Greenland being taken by the USA is just another bullshit distraction from the Epstein Files. But if it's not? Two things. 1) In 1917, the Virgin Islands were sold to the USA to become a US territory by Denmark, and part of the agreement is that the USA recognize full Danish control over Greenland. In other words, we signed up for this. And, 2) Somebody out of NATO has already said "If you take Greenland, we take every single base of the Americans from Aviano to Ramstein, from Romania, to all the other military bases will be confiscated, and you will lose it, and the whole position of American power since World War II, if you take Greenland, you have to leave." Which is to say that we would be in seriously deep shit. I cannot fathom how incredibly fucking stupid it would be if somebody... ANYBODY... doesn't explain that there are consequences to being a complete moron in this situation.

   
And now? Time to wash another load of clothes.

I've been burning the candle at both ends for months, and it's starting to catch up to me. In one of life's cruel ironies, I get so tired lately that I can't sleep. I start yawning and yawning, so I go to bed... then am wide awake.

And so I run through my social media pages looking for something to distract my mind from all the things that are running through my head that I should be focusing on that's keeping me from falling asleep.

And that's when I reached this...

I laughed out loud, which was a real bummer for my cats who were sleeping next to me.

Jake was a little upset, but quickly fell back asleep.

Jenny, on the other hand, glared at me for far longer than was comfortable, then left in a huff.

Until 4:20am, at which point she got her revenge.

Jake has been very clingy lately. Which is a bit worrying, because I can't help but wonder if there's something wrong. Though I think that's the opposite of how it usually works? Don't cats usually want to be alone when they are feeling poorly? Maybe Jake is different? Cats.

Last night he climbed on top of me when I fell asleep. I'm a side-sleeper, so this was a bit precarious for a cat his size, so I grabbed a pillow so he would be supported. When I woke up, I had rolled over on my back, but Jake was still there...

In other cat news... look what appeared at the bottom of the stairs this very morning!

MUFASA! This was truly surprising, because Jake lost interest in him months ago. I finally just put his plushie in the cat toy box because he wasn't dragging him around everywhere like he used to. Then this morning... BAM! Mufasa! After breakfast Jake went back to ignoring him, so maybe the reunion is over.

Earlier this week I was on a call for work when the kitty breakfast alarm chimed. A few minutes later I went downstairs while still on the phone, and had to pause my call to take a photo of the cats sitting on the table angry because I didn't immediately rush down to feed them...

I mean... just look at Jake's face. He's furious to have been kept waiting. Even Jenny is surprised at the depth of his rage!

But don't worry about my safety. I was forgiven ten minutes later...

Cats.

Jake keeps getting more and more clingy.

He runs downstairs the minute he hears the garage door open, waits for me to walk in, then comes running up crying so I can stand there and pet him before I even have a chance to put my backpack down.

Then, after I've plopped on the couch and start working or whatever, Jake wants to sleep on me. And it's every day...

I've learned the hard way that you don't wake him up after he's started using you as a bed...

As for Jenny?

She basically just sits up in the cat tree and glares at Jake and me...

We think she's just being jealous.

My cats have zero fucks left to give.

They've been sliding to this point for years, but it was so gradual that I didn't notice. Now it feels like it actually happened over months. Weeks even.

They want what they want and they want it now. And when it comes to what you want... like sleep? Oh hell no. You don't dare deny them what they want!

And while they do have sweet moments with each other like this...

Jake is a mean bear of a brother. If Jenny is sitting somewhere, he'll decide that he wants to sit there, then antagonize her to leave. Not long ago Jenny was laying at the foot of my bed and Jake decided that this is where he wanted to be, so he just goes over and sits on her. Jenny erupts in a flurry off hisses that seem to genuinely confuse Jake, then she smacks him and runs away because he won't leave.

Jake, for his part, then lays down and goes to sleep as if nothing happened.

But don't feel bad for Jenny.

Because she is happy to treat me exactly the same way.

It's me. I'm the one you should feel sorry for.

Welcome to another Caturday Pupperday!

I am in Kansas City, far from my cats, so I'm having to make due with Aaron and Henry's dogs this time. It made for a nice change given how adorably enthusiastic dogs are to see you when compared to cats. Especially when you find out just how little dogs seem to care about respecting personal space. I had dogs all over me, and it was pretty great...

The first lapdog was a (relatively) small poodle who was very polite. Just wanted to sit on my lap for a while and be petted...

Fortunately, when my lapdog left, there was a backup lapdog to take their place...

Then a backup to my backup lapdog entered the picture...

And then a backup for my backup's backup lapdog entered the picture. Absolutely no understanding of physical space. Climbed right up on my lap, my chest, my face, and eventually my head...

Then it was a big change in a small package. I had met Asher when Aaron and Henry were living in San Francisco. She patiently waited her turn for pets as a replacement backup lapdog...

Then it was time for a brief return of one of the backups for belly rubs...

Meanwhile, back at home, the home security system alerted me that Jake and Jenny were sleeping.

No worries I'm sure when I return on Sunday afternoon they will be upset that I smell like dog, but eventually wanting lap time of their own.

I talk to my cats... like... all the time. Especially when they talk to me.

They answer back but, don't worry, I'm not pretending I can understand them. At least not yet. It's entirely possible that sometime in the future I'll finally have that mental break that will take me all the way.

Because I reply to my cats when they talk to me, they are talking more and more. Jenny will alter how she meows based on whether she's mad, happy, hungry, wanting to be petted, or is frustrated. Her "mad" meow is very noticeably different than everything else she says. So she's fairly easy to decode.

Jake, on the other hand, just squawks. He can't meow for some reason. Which means I have no idea what's going through his furry little head and have to guess. Usually he wants attention. But sometimes he is looking for a toy or wants food... and it's a matter trial and error to get him figured out.

Ever since I got back from Kansas City, Jake has been spending a lot of time sitting on me. Assumably because he doesn't want me to leave again...

Fortunately, the only "leaving" I will be doing for quite a while is going to work. But I'll be back at the end of the day so I can be pinned to my couch.

Well, Jake's clinginess is apparently here to stay. Usually after I get back from a trip, it will last four or five days... maybe a week. But it's been two weeks since I got back from Kansas City, and he's still all over me whenever I'm home.

Not that I can really complain. Who doesn't like having a warm kitty on their lap when it's cold out?

But now that it's getting warmer every day?

One day soon, when it's hot out and I'm too cheap to turn on the air conditioner, I will likely feel different about Jake sleeping on top of me.

Though I should probably enjoy every minute while I can. Boo-Bear won't be around forever.

And neither will I.

On my Immich photo manager there's a "ten years ago" section which has been displaying pictures of Jake & Jenny when I got them a decade ago. Which means they're over ten years old? It doesn't seem possible. It seems like yesterday.

I took a lot of movies back then. And all of them are adorable. To me. Probably not to many other people though. I mean, look at this...

But it's the photos of Jake with Mufasa that are my favorites...

Even when Jenny wants to take Mufasa away...

Awwwwwwwww.

In world news... "In Sweden, new legislation has made it illegal to leave cats alone for long periods of time. This law is designed to improve the welfare of cats, ensuring they receive social interaction and care. It is part of Sweden’s broader animal welfare policies, which aim to protect pets and ensure their well-being." — This is interesting to me. I mean, I don't like leaving my cats, but there are times I have to. At first I was hiring a pet sitter to come take care of them, but that traumatized them more than being alone. They would hide when the sitter showed up, then not come out... even after they left. So I stopped doing that. Instead I make sure there are feeding robots and litter robots and water fountains and warming pads and the like. It's better for them.

I saw this and it reminded me of Jake...

Cheesecake eventually got switched to a new food that deflated her gassy tummy and helped her lose weight. Jake's just fat.