Before watching The Big Event tomorrow morning, I'm making a list of stuff that I really wanted Apple to announce (it's a BONUS SUNDAY ENTRY!).

And it's not pie-in-the-sky stuff like HERE'S THE APPLE FLYING CAR! or WE'RE BUYING OUT SONOS AND FIXING IT! or ONE MORE THING... WE'VE CLONED STEVE JOBS! No. This is stuff that should happen to right past wrongs (limited to my top five, otherwise I could go on for days)...

1. Fix the unholy un-Apple shitty abomination known as HomeKit. My God I cannot believe that Apple's "smart home" initiative is so fucking stupid. Devices or automations suddenly refusing to work then one day working again is maddening. There's no way to diagnose anything. You can't even specify which device you want as a hub. It's utter madness. And has been since it debuted.
2. Make Siri not be such a useless turd. Seriously, I am sick to fucking death of this. The idea that this tech is in any way billed as a "smart assistant" is laughable. Rumor has it that Siri is going to finally get some smarts via A.I. and thank God. The fact that Apple has let such a critical service stagnate to the point of irrelevance is embarrassing.
3. Stop nerfing iPad OS. I know Apple is worried about iPad sales cutting into their popular and lucrative MacBook sales, but shouldn't they be more concerned that people will see how sublimely shitty it is to do anything in iPad OS and buy a Microsoft Surface or Windows Tablet? And since you won't put a touchscreen on a MacBook, but instead allow customers to order up an iPad Pro to become a tool that's essentially a tablet computer... both in terms of power and price... shouldn't it have the functionality of a tablet computer? File handling is a fucking joke. Multitasking is a fucking joke. Background tasks don't exist. Come on. Either get serious about iPad or get out out of the tablet market.
4. Make iCloud Drive be on-par with other cloud storage services. If iCloud worked, it would be a killer service despite the high price tag. But it doesn't work. First of all... no old versions of your files are saved! Doesn't matter if you have terabytes of space available, you can't rewind a file. Which is really shitty considering that APPLE CAN LOSE YOUR DATA! It happened to me. I would sit there and watch my files go to zero bytes in realtime. And once that happens, they're gone. No way to go back. And not even Apple can restore your missing files. And because their Time Capsule technology won't download iCloud Drive files to back them up, you can't back them up unless they happen to be local on the computer which is hooked up to Time Capsule. This is completely unforgivable. Apple doesn't give a single fuck about protecting your data. Indeed, they actively insure that you'll lose it with no recourse. iCloud Drive shouldn't even be offered in its current horrible state.
5. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GIVE APPLE TV AN INTERFACE THAT ISN'T A BAG OF SHIT! Does Apple even realize how badly they punish customers who purchase a massive amount of their content? If you want to watch Zoolander, you have to scroll through every fucking movie you've ever bought. Which takes FOREVER because Apple gives you no way to skip ahead. No alphabet navigation to the side like every other service. You just have to scroll. I mean, I suppose you could give Siri a try, but because Siri is so fucking shitty, that's not really a solution. At the very least buffer the entire list of movies so you can scroll through it quickly.

Yikes. As I typed that last one, another five things popped into my head. I really could go on for days. Which says a lot about Apple. They have absolutely fucking lost it. No focus. No understanding how bad things have gotten. They just keep ignoring shit that needs to be updated and fixed so they can make $3,500 VR headsets or whatever. The basic experience of core Apple technologies