I ended up working half of the time of my "vacation" this past week, so I'm actually more tired than if I had not taken a vacation at all. But here I am... putting in the work blogging... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Sweet Niblets! I've been a fan of Defunctland for years. The other day I ran across an episode that I have never seen. Which is odd, because it's undoubtedly one of the most famous... solving a mystery that nobody knew needed solving. And it's a roller coaster, and it just gets more fascinating as it goes on. And the finale when the dominoes start falling? And that moment at the end where Kevin drops the bomb on you as to how he decided to honor the composer? chef's kiss It's an hour and a half. But it's brilliant. Just watch it. And if you can get to the end without feeling anything, then you're a stronger person than I am...

Now that's some investigative reporting! A very good episode, regardless of your feelings about Disney or Disney Channel. Because that tidbit about the pre-marketing for Finding Nemo? Holy shit. That's undoubtedly how the whole world works now. Corporations buy politicians to make laws and promote ideas that are setting the stage for their future plans. Corporations pay movie stars and influencers to get people indoctrinated into a way of thinking which suits their goals. It's genius and very sinister indeed.

   
• Useful Vandalism! I don't know why this video was recommended to me, but I am really happy it was...

Given the shitty bureaucracy that plagues life in These United States, I applaud this. It wasn't malicious. It wasn't a distraction. It wasn't superfluous. It was a much-needed addition which had been overlooked for far, far too long. I had to drive in L.A. many times during the "Era of Maps," and I know that I certainly would have appreciated this!

   
• May The Chocolate Be With You! Ooh! Look what I found at the grocery store...

They taste like OREOs, so they're delicious, of course. But the cookie stamps are darn good too...

Just the treat for a Star Wars fan!

   
• Poster! And speaking of a treat for Star Wars fans, this is also a treat for hardcore restoration fans like myself...

A stunning poster beautifully restored. I don't know about you, but doesn't it seem shocking how you can just toss soap and bleach on a printed poster... then pressure wash it... and not have it completely turn to pulp?

   
• Cat Distribution System! Would I give up my entire vacation to some exotic location to rescue an animal?

Yes. Yes I would.

   
• Disposability! I have written on this blog many times about how frustrating it is that clothes I own from 15-20 years ago are still in great shape whereas something I bought last year is falling apart. It is maddening and financially grotesque. We are living in an age where everything is disposable and not meant to last. And now I've found a video that jumps into the why of it all...

And there you go. I gotta say... it is beyond gross how US politicians can't get off their fucking asses and actually DO SOMETHING about this idiotic loophole that floods us with shitty clothes that are created out of exploitation. What the fuck is our government good for if they can't hop on a no-brainer action like this?

   
Now for a much-deserved couple hours doing nothing.

The last time I was in Seattle I had to wait for my eyes to normalize before driving home.

Rather than sit in a parking lot somewhere, I drove down the road to my favorite restaurant to wait things out. Who can resist a lunch at The Cheesecake Factory...

I had my usual, the Sweet Corn Tamale Cakes...

Then also decided to try the Avocado Tacos. Which surprised me when they came because the shells weren't corn, they were jicama...

The avocado wasn't some tiny slice either, it was a full quarter of one in each, battered and deep-fried...

Every day since, all I can think about is going back to The Cheesecake Factory. Which makes me glad that there's not a location near me. I'd be bankrupt and weight 500 pounds.

The temperature has been getting steadily hotter, but I'm not entirely melted just yet... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Hunt and Peck! This behind-the-scenes showing Post Malone using a typewriter for the first time makes me feel very old, but it's also pretty funny...

I used to have a manual typewriter that was lost when I moved stuff out of storage years ago. I also had a cheap electric which was never returned after somebody borrowed it. I really wish that I had either of them, because it seems a retro-cool way to communicate.

   
• Drained! Ha! XKCD reeeeeally has a thing for Dutch colonization and the Netherlands taking over the world!

We dump so much shit in the oceans that the junk would probably just plug the hole, if we're being honest.

   
• Health "Care." It blows my fucking mind how the IRS can put limits on individual contributions to your Health Savings Account. I should be able to contribute however much I need to in order to cover my legitimate medical expenses so I can get a tax break on those expenses. But no. I have to pay taxes on money going towards health expenses because I had big expenses this year. That is truly fucked. We should have our health care covered by our taxes instead of it being pissed away to insurance companies who leach money from the system for profit... but if we can't have that, then why the fuck can't we at least contribute whatever the hell we want whenever the hell we want to our HSA? More bullshit by our elected officials who are fucking OWNED by the insurance lobbyists...

I'm wondering for the hundredth time why American citizens haven't taken a fucking flamethrower to this country given how badly we get fucked over by our government. Absolutely everything is designed to screw over citizens while handing money and power over to greedy fucking assholes.

   
• McGamer! I love things like this! What a wild journey!

   
• Unexplainably Juicy! The new Sparkling Ice Starburst flavors are amazing. Seriously the best flavors they've ever made. Especially Orange and Strawberry...

Can't believe they're Zero Sugar, Zero Carbs, and only 5 Calories!

   
• Anakin! It really bothers me when I think back to how much I loathed Hayden Christensen for "ruining Star Wars" when it was never him. It was the shitty script and dialogue he was given. I am so happy that he's been given a chance at redemption and is nailing it...

It will be interesting to see if he gets any more Star Wars work, seeing as how they are running out of ways to shoe-horn him in the places he's popping up already.

   
And now back to our regularly-scheduled hotness.

Happy Father's Day, everybody! And now prepare to upgrade the last day of the weekend... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• D'oh! New Orleans is my favorite American city. This wonderful video where a scene from Homer eating his way through the city has been recreated. I couldn’t love it more...

I don't know what impresses me more. That The Simpsons was so faithful to the locations... or that they bought all that food to recreate it,

   
• CowPhobia86! Okay, this is genius...

It's the ranch dressing love at the very end that makes it so good. That's Jonathan Harris for you!

   
• Chips! I love these Jolly school videos. And this one is particularly hilarious because it turns the tables a bit. And then... they mentioned a "chip butty," a sandwich I used to eat all the time, but stopped for whatever reason. Probably because I ate so many I got tired of them.

And so... I had one for lunch today. Dang it was good. Fries in a white bread sandwich with butter. I also like a chip butty on a bun with ketchup and mayo like a burger. Yummeh.

   
• FAKE! I've said many, many times that 95% of Influencer Culture is fake as fuck. I'm probably lowballing it. This is just bonkers. But we knew it would be...

The thing that really bothers me is that people judge their lives by the lives of these lying influencer assholes.

   
• Wright! The current season of Top Chef is SO good. I've loved all the chefs. Not an asshole in the bunch. They're all competitive while being supportive. I'm way behind, but I'm going back to re-watch the Frank Lloyd Wright episode again because it's peak Top Chef for me. As a massive Wright fan, it's so cool to see his work factor into a challenge. But all the challenges have been good, and it's really freshened up the show for me (which has been slowly stagnating over the years)...

Sad that Padme is gone, but Kristen Kish is killing it. They couldn't have picked a better host.

   
• Who Watches the Watchmen? Oh interesting! I wonder if they will be faithful to the source material or if they will Zack Snyder it up. Again...

After watching the HBO sequel... and how they actually made the REAL ending that the movie dropped for some astoundingly stupid reason... I hoped that one day we might get a faithful adaptation. This is probably as close as we're going to get.

   
• Trash App! Facebook announced that they removed a photo of mine. They say it violates their community guidelines when it comes to suicide and self harm or whatever. They won't show what it was. And when I request a review so I can ask what it was, that's not an option...

How the fuck are you supposed to do ANYTHING on this stupid app to keep out of trouble when you don't even know what it is that gets you into trouble? Facebook is trash. And now they keep showing me "Help is available."

   
And now back to your regularly-scheduled .

For the LOVE OF GOD, Coca-Cola... could you please stop making it exponentially more confusing to buy your products?

I walk into the mini-mart to buy a Coke Zero. But instead I have to stand there for five minutes trying to figure out which bottle is just plain ol' original Coke Zero. You're flooding the market with a stupid number of variants that nobody gives a shit about which reduces the number of lanes available for the product everybody wants. then you keep changing the labels and hiring shitty fucking designers who let promo art TAKE PRECEDENCE OVER YOUR FUCKING PRODUCT NAME?!? I needed a pair of reading glasses to suss out what the hell I was holding, but I didn't have any so I had to take a picture with my phone so I could zoom in and see if this was actually Coke Zero...

At the BARE FUCKING MINIMUM you need to have an EFFECTIVE calm space behind the product name so that consumers older than 30 CAN ACTUALLY READ WHAT THE FUCK IT IS. And why are Coke and Coke Zero the same color? Make Coke signature red. Take Coke Zero back to black. That would eliminate 50% of the confusion right there.

Stupid marketing shit drives me insane. It drives me thermonuclear insane when companies with millions of dollars hire design firms who don't know how to market products correctly. Making sure the customer can quickly and easily understand and find your product is Design 101. Stop working with shitty design firms who don't know the ABSOLUTE BARE MINIMUM OF EFFECTIVE PRODUCT DESIGN.

I'd redesign their labels for free just so I could find the shit when I walk into a shop... but effective design isn't something Coke gives a shit about, apparently, so I guess I start taking reading glasses to the mini-mart.

There's no Krispy Kreme anywhere near me. Which is probably a good thing, because their "doughnuts" are pure sugar, and I don't need to be eating that.

But I was in Seattle yesterday for eye surgery and there's a Krispy Kreme on the way home... AND DOLLY PARTON HAS A COLLABORATION WITH THEM FOR A COLLECTION OF FOUR EXCLUSIVE NEW FLAVORS!! If you don't think I'm stopping by for a half-dozen to support Dolly Parton, then you don't know me at all...

Once I walked inside, I saw that Dolly's Southern Sweets Doughnut Collection was displayed together on the top row in a place of honor...

I wanted a half-dozen, so I got two each of the ones that I thought I'd like best (Spoiler Alert: my guesses for favorites were correct). Look at how pretty...

Here they are, in order of preference...

• #1: Peachy Keen Cobbler Doughnut. This one isn't drenched in that absurdly sweet Krispy Kreme glaze before they add everything, and it makes a huge difference. It's a solid donut with peach filling that's dipped in brown sugar glaze with a crunchy cobbler topping. It's fantastic. The peach flavor really shines through, and that topping helps cut the sweetness so it's not making your teeth shake quite as much.
• #2 Chocolate Crème Pie. Had they not drenched it in glaze, it would have been better... but it's still darn good. They swirl chocolate brownie and vanilla cream on top and sprinkle with cookie crumbles. The chocolate/vanilla hit is substantial, so you're not overwhelmed by the glaze underneath.
• #3 Banana Puddin’ Pie. This is another unglazed donut filled with banana pudding that's got Nilla Wafer crumbs in it. They then frost the top, add frosting swirls to make signature Dolly butterfly wings, then add crushed Nilla Wafers to make the butterfly body. The banana tastes a touch artificial, which is the only drawback for me (other than the fact that whomever decorated my donut used too big of a frosting tip to pipe the wings).
• #4 Dolly Dazzler Doughnut. Ungodly sweet. There was no reason to glaze this thing before frosting with strawberry icing, but they did it anyway. The sparkling sugar crystals were icing on the icing on the cake, which just made a too sweet thing even sweeter. AND THEN... as if this thing wasn't too much sugar already, they added a white chocolate butterfly on top (which was a bit waxy, but my favorite part of the donut). The strawberry flavor was good though, and I would definitely have liked it better without the glaze base.

But anyway... a triumph. Could have been better if they'd just stop with the glaze already, but I was very happy with them. If you've got a Krispy Kreme in your area then it's definitely worth stopping by.

Deciding to treat yourself is something that's increasingly difficult to afford. But after the bad week I had been having, I decided to stop at McDonald's on my way home yesterday for a couple breakfast biscuits (hey, I'll eat vegan at home).

But instead of the delicious fluffy biscuit I've come to expect, I got a tough, chewy, mockery of a biscuit that was (literally) hard to swallow...

It's like COME ON. Why would you serve an overcooked, shitty biscuit like this? Especially when you're charging a butt-load of money for the privilege of buying one? It's as if restaurants are all too happy to serve crap food and make unhappy customers if it saves them 10¢ to just cook another biscuit. Well, lesson learned. McDonald's doesn't care about serving food worth buying, so I guess I won't.

And then there's this...

Keith Lee is the hero we need right now.

I stopped eating at Chipotle Mexican Grill a couple years ago for exactly this reason. Don’t keep raising prices only to give me less food. And, yes, I know that it's the individual restaurant franchise which sets portion amounts. But if enough people refuse to put up with it and enough people stop eating there, then Chipotle Corporate is going to have to do something.

So now I’m taking a pass on Chipotle for crap portions and McDonald's because I’m tired of getting stale fries and tough biscuits. That's on top of other restaurants that I gave up on long ago like Quizno's and Johnny Rockets. The only fast food I’m eating now is Burger King for their incredible Impossible Whopper (and onion rings)... and Wendy's for everything they offer that’s vegetarian-friendly, because it’s always fresh and tasty (PERFECT FRIES AND BISCUITS EVERY TIME!).

I’m happy that people are done with being taken advantage of by fast-food restaurants that are no longer worth it. Maybe they’ll get the message and stop expecting people to pay for their bullshit.

Yesterday I spilled pizza sauce on my T-shirt and ended up doing a load of laundry for all my T-shirts. Today I spilled chocolate soy milk on my T-shirt... but since I didn't have any T-shirts left to wash, I washed it with my dress shirts. I don't know what I will spill on my T-shirt tomorrow, but whatever it is, that T-shirt is going to have to be washed with a load of denim. So I should probably plan on wearing a dark-colored T.

Ah to go back to the day before all this madness happened when I was just eating tacos and not spilling shit all over myself. It was a simpler time...

I guess from here on out I need to start wearing a bib or something.

Proving once again that life really does come full circle.

Going vegan has been a lot easier now that I've killed my dream of finding a fake cheese that tastes any good. Almond and soy milk? Great. Plant butter? Fine. Fake sour cream? Okay. Veggie mayo? I'm getting used to it. Fake cream cheese? Eh. Fake eggs? Nah. Fake cheese? No. Fuck no. Absolutely not. So... for my peace of mind, I'm going to keep eating regular dairy cheese on occasion, just in vastly smaller amounts. Probably when I am at somebody else's house, eating out with friends, or want a small treat for myself. What's weird is that I feel myself kinda getting over it. I'm betting in less than a year I won't even miss it very much..

What's been harder? Cutting down on sugars. Especially processed sugars.

I threw out all my chocolates, candies, and sweets. I have some sugar-free stuff that I'm hanging onto, but I'm going to try to cut down on it too (all except the Coke Zero, because I need that). And it's been tough. Not being able to grab candies or cakes or cookies or whatever is hard when you were raised in the USA. That's our diet here.

In order to curb my sweet tooth, I've gone back to one of my most favorite things.

Freeze-dried fruits.

Mostly apples, but also strawberries, pineapple, blueberries, mango, bananas, and such. Unlike dried or dehydrated fruits, where the vitamins and minerals are cooked out of them, freeze-dried leaves all the nutrients intact. Also, instead of being tough or chewy, they're light and airy and crisp. Also, freeze-dried doesn't have sulfites or added sugars and whatnot. It's just delicious fruit and I love it.

The problem is that freeze-dried fruits are RIDICULOUSLY expensive.

And so I'm going to start saving up for my own freeze-drying machine. A good one (AKA Harvest Right) is $2,400 because I only need a small one. But you need replacement vacuum pump oil and a a chamber vacuum sealer and other stuff. Which is to say that you need closer to $3,500. And it's like... okay. That's a lot of money, but being able to buy fruit on sale in season and freeze-dry it myself will have the machine paying for itself in about two years (if I keep eating fruit at the rate I am now).

I mostly eat it right out of the container or bag. It's like candy. But I like putting it on crackers or even toast (crispy toast!)...

And, if you like the idea of stocking up for after The Rapture, many freeze-dried foods can be stored for a very long time.

But that's not all...

You can freeze-dry all kinds of stuff. Herbs and vegetables being other great ideas. You can store all the ingredients for an amazing vegetarian soup. Or veggies to make anything, really. I love rehydrating a teaspoon of onions for a veggie burger (I actually prefer freeze-dried to fresh on burgers, it's what McDonald's uses!). Freeze-dried tomatoes and peppers are amazing to add to just about anything (or just eat by the handful). Freeze-dried corn, green beans, and peas are also good snacking. I love tossing them in with rice to steam microwave. Or with cooked potatoes. Or throwing them in with pasta a couple minutes before draining. The possibilities really are endless.

And so... yeah... really want my own freeze-drying machine. But saving up $3,500 will take a bit because I've got a few more repairs to make in my home, a bunch of stuff to do outside, and I'll need wood for my Summer projects. There's always something to spend my hard-earned cash on.

Except clothes. I figure I'll just pick those up off the street from all those people who got raptured without me.

I had to wake up early so I could have an early drive to an early doctor appointment that was early.

Color me shocked, there was no traffic down the usually-heinous-especially-on-a-Friday 405 East of Seattle. I anticipated a 40-45 minute commute. I did it in 18 minutes. Which means I was nearly an hour early for my appointment. I was a bit hungry (and finally feeling like eating again), so I decided to grab breakfast. Much to my delight, a Panera was 8 minutes away. Perfect.

Boo! BOOOOO!!!

Boo, Panera Bread!

Instead of the gooey, delicious, egg over-medium that you used to get, they’ve switched to that same gross, spongy, slimy "egg" that McDonalds has! DAY. RUINED. I was all "Guess I’ll just sit here in the parking lot of the eye clinic and cry." AND COULD YOU BLAME ME? LOOK AT THIS! JUST LOOK AT THIS!!!

Argh. And the shit was really expensive too.

Boy oh boy did I used to love being in a city that had a Panera in it.

But back to the traffic (or lack thereof)... what is going on? Roads in Bellevue were practically empty. In Bellevue! Didn’t even have to use express lanes to drive 65 the entire way to the city... ON THE 405, FOR GOD’S SAKE. Did The Rapture happen three days early? Are we in a National Day of Mourning because somebody famous died?!? Please tell me it’s not Skylar Astin! I need more So Help Me Todd!

But anyway... mission accomplished.

More or less.