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Strategery

Posted on December 12th, 2015

Dave!Compared to any of the Republicans running? ANY of them?

Yes. I'll take George W. Bush.


   

And that terrifies me more than I can say.

   

Millennials

Posted on October 3rd, 2015

Dave!Saturday Night Live had a pretty good season opener with Miley Cyrus as host tonight. And while there was some drag at the end, overall is was one of the better SNL episodes in recent years.

Mostly because of one of the most perfect sketches in the history of the show. The Millennials is so dead-on that I was compelled to rewind the DVR and watch it again. Twice...

Yes, it's parody. But not by much.

This is exactly what I have to endure when dealing with the entitlement generation that's entering the work force now-a-days. They want tons of money, but don't want to work for it. AT ALL. And you absolutely cannot criticize what little work they actually accomplish or else they'll have a complete meltdown.

I can only imagine it's going to get worse from here, which has me seriously wondering what the future is going to look like.

Actually, I can't even imagine.

   

Bullet Sunday 423

Posted on March 8th, 2015

Dave!You can stop being depressed that the end of Daylight Saving Time stole an hour of your life... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Saturday Night! How refreshing to watch an episode of SNL that doesn't have you fast-forwarding through the whole thing! The highlight of the episode, of course, was guest host Chris Hemsworth as Thor celebrating The Avengers' triumph over Ultron...

Thor Celebrates Victory Over Ultron on SNL

Thor Celebrates Victory Over Ultron on SNL

Thor Celebrates Victory Over Ultron on SNL

Thor Celebrates Victory Over Ultron on SNL

Thor Celebrates Victory Over Ultron on SNL

Thor Celebrates Victory Over Ultron on SNL

Thor Celebrates Victory Over Ultron on SNL

"Victory Party at Dave & Busters" is probably one of the best things to appear on Saturday Night Live in over a decade.

   
• Heroic! And speaking of Marvel comic book movie heroes named "Chris" doing amazing things... even though Chris Evans won his Super Bowl bet with Chris Pratt, he appeared at Seattle Children's Hospital in costume as Captain America anyway...

Captain America and Star Lord visit Seattle Children's Hospital

Captain America and Star Lord visit Seattle Children's Hospital

This is after he appeared with Pratt (who was in costume as Star Lord) at Boston's Christopher's Haven after winning the bet...

Captain America and Star Lord visit Seattle Children's Hospital

What a decent couple of guys. It would have been so easy to skip the effort involved in doing something so amazing... on top of raising $27,000 for these terrific children's charities... but they're using their fame and fortune exactly how it should be used, and that's the best kind of hero you can be.

   
• Super! Well, it's not as hideous as I feared... a little dark maybe... but the suit for the upcoming Supergirl television show has been revealed...

Supergirl Costume... REVEALED!

Costume designer Colleen Atwood has a pretty darn good track record with the costumes for Arrow and The Flash, and it looks like she's got another home run on her hands. Melissa Benoist is certainly looking super enough for the part, that's for sure.

   
• Presidential? HE'S offended?!? I don't know what offends ME more... that Rand Paul is a bigoted piece of shit... or that he's propagating anti-vax idiocy... or that his concept of foreign policy is so far removed from reality that he might as well live in Narnia... or that some of his domestic policy ideas are so impossibly naive that you have to wonder if he's switched bodies with his younger 13-year-old self like what happened in that Jennifer Garner movie 13 Going on 30... or... or... or... holy crap... he's probably going to run for president, isn't he?

   
• McCarthyism! If my name were associated with being a complete and total piece of shit who is responsible for children getting sick and even dying, I'd want to change it too.

Jenny Stupid Fucking McCarthy

She's just the absolute worst.

   
• Lonny! I have no clue how Next Time on Lonny escaped my notice... for two seasons... but catching up on the web series while working at work this fine Sunday was definitely the best part of my day. WARNING: Contains all matter of profanity, depravity, and violence... definitely NSFW...

Sure thing, Dog Moon! You can't just watch just one, because the insanity escalates with each new episode.

   
• Sausage! If Lonny wasn't enough to satisfy your comedy craving this fine Sunday, the guys at Nacho Punch have created a porn film "by Wes Anderson" that's beyond dead-accurate...

You know you're getting tired of the repetitive wackiness of Wes Anderson films when you can't tell the parodies from the real thing any more.

   
The end. I'd post more bullets, but with only 23 hours in the day, I haven't got the time.

   

SNL40

Posted on February 16th, 2015

Dave!I just watched the SNL 40th Anniversary show for a second time and think it holds up. Sure, there was easily an hour that could have been cut for more sketches, but I guess we should feel lucky we got as many as we did.

Anyway...

Rolling Stone has a list of all SNL cast members throughout the history of the show ranked from best to worst. It's a good list that's surprisingly agreeable to me. There are notable exceptions, of course (Dennis Miller would drop from 34 to the low 80's for me since I never found him very funny)... but I'm onboard right up until the top 20, which Rolling Store ranks thusly...

  1. John Belushi
  2. Eddie Murphy
  3. Tina Fey
  4. Mike Meyers
  5. Dan Aykroyd
  6. Bill Murray
  7. Phil Hartman
  8. Amy Poehler
  9. Gilda Radner
  10. Chevy Chase
  11. Dana Carvey
  12. Will Ferrell
  13. Bill Hader
  14. Kristen Wiig
  15. Chris Farley
  16. Rachel Dratch
  17. Adam Sandler
  18. Maya Rudolph
  19. Jon Lovitz
  20. Al Franken

Here's what my Top 20 would look like...

  1. Eddie Murphy. Nobody makes me laugh like Eddie Murphy. Nobody. His characters from SNL (and beyond) are easily the most memorable of the lot.
  2. Phil Hartman. One of my all-time favorite comedians easily jumps to number two. His versatility on SNL was mind-blowing in a way that few cast members could hope to approach.
  3. Tina Fey. Her Sarah Palin impression is enough to put her in the top three... but she was so much more than that. Hands-down my favorite Weekend Update anchor.
  4. Will Ferrell. Another performer whose near-limitless ability to create new characters makes him among the best cast members of all time.
  5. Bill Murray. One of those rare performers who just gets better and better and better with age. My favorite of the original cast, Bill was amazing on SNL... and even better after.
  6. Dan Aykroyd. Within a whisker of Bill Murray as my favorite original cast members. Few performers can deliver a line as well as Aykroyd for maxium comedic effect.
  7. Amy Poehler. I don't even know where to start. She is beyond fearless.
  8. Chevy Chase. As a physical comedian, few comedians can reach Chevy's level. This made him a total standout from the original pack, and one of my favorite comedians of all time.
  9. Kristen Wiig. She has the uncanny ability to disappear into characters in a way that really impresses me.
  10. Jason Sudeikis. Painfully underrated. Any sketch he appeared in, he dominated.
  11. Dana Carvey. Another comedian who has a limitless capacity for unique characters. He should have never left SNL, because no other venue utilized his huge talent like they did.
  12. Bill Hader. When Hader first showed up, I was not impressed. But he kept plugging away and eventually became a favorite. He has some kind of gravitas that grounds his characters in a very real way... no matter how outlandish.
  13. John Belushi. Don't get me wrong... I loved Belushi... but number one on Rolling Stone's list? Maybe it's because I'm not a huge fan of brute-force comedy that I've dropped him down my list... but his characters lack the subtlety that I need to laud comedic genius.
  14. Jimmy Fallon. Um... yeah... Barry. Gibb. Talk. Show. I know a lot of people don't like Jimmy at all, but I'm not one of them. I always thought he was a solid performer on the show, and the fact that he all-too-often laughed at his own jokes did nothing to diminish this for me.
  15. Will Forte. Coming in at 52 on the Rolling Stone list is about what I expected. Nobody seems tog give Forte the recognition I feel he deserves. The man was MacGruber for crying out loud!
  16. Maya Rudolph. Extremely capable performer that managed to totally nail characters that I put out of reach for her. Always happy to have my expectations exceeded.
  17. Gilda Radner. Gilda was a much-beloved performer whom I adored... but she just didn't have as many memorable characters to me as cast members I ranked higher. Baba Wawa, Rosanne Rosannadanna, and Lisa Loopner are about all I can think of off the top of my head.
  18. Chris Parnell. Another cast member that I feel gets overlooked more often than he should. Parns is hugely talented, and filled bit parts that would have killed sketches in lesser hands.
  19. Rachel Dratch. I love Dratch and have always been impressed at her incredible capacity for filling critical roles in many, many sketches... but as a lead character? We have what... Debbie Downer? I honestly can't think of another memorable character that would push her higher on my list. Perhaps I could give her Zazu from the Boston Teens sketches, but that was as much Fallon as her.
  20. Chris Rock. One of my all-time favorite comedians should be ranking much, much higher on this list... but I never felt the writers gave him enough to work with. His being short-changed week after week was a real disservice to SNL fans, and I was actually relieved when he left SNL because you got to see more of him.

And that's a wrap. Here's hoping Eddie Murphy guest-hosts the show before too long.

   

Bullet Sunday 420

Posted on February 15th, 2015

Dave!Don't let radical winter weather get you down... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Rescue! Am I the only one who thought that CHAPPiE was the sequel to Real Steel?

Big Robot Posters!

They're both robot movies starring Hugh Jackman. Since I never even saw Real Steel it took me a while before I even knew they were different films.

   
• SNL 40! Overall, the 40th Anniversary Celebration for Saturday Night Live was a winner. Plenty of famous SNL performers and guests and a look back at some truly amazing sketches that have come out of the show in its long history. And Betty White saying she'd guest-host again if she were asked. How could you not love that? EXCEPT... no new Eddie Murphy Sketch? What the hell? Maybe he refused to do something, but how fantastic would that have been? All we got was some kind of awkward speech that left me dying to have him host the show. Oh well. If you're an SNL fan, The Hollywood Reporter has a lot of cool stuff you should check out.

   
• Balls! ScreenCrush unleashed something I've been waiting decades to hear: Mel Brooks is Developing a Sequel to Spaceballs, Finally...

Spaceballs Posters!

With John Candy and Joan Rivers gone, it's hard to know if they will be replaced... or if their characters are going to be dropped. All I know is that Sarah Silverman would make a killer Dot Matrix 2.0. And even though I'm not a big Josh Gads fan he'd make a pretty good offspring of Barf the mog. Really hoping this gets off the ground.

   
• Carter! I have been loving, loving, loving the Marvel's Agent Carter mini series. Everything about it has been beautifully crafted and highly entertaining...

Marvel's Agent Carter Poster

I'm hoping quite badly that it gets picked up for another run in 2016.

If you're liking the show as much as I am, you may be interested in an article from The Mary Sue which investigates the real "Agent Carters" from history.

   
• Thanks! And here we go...

Guess that's the last word on that meme.

   
• UNCLE! After Avengers: Age of Ultron, one of the films I am most looking forward to is The Man from U.N.C.L.E. remake...

Incredible stuff. Few people know retro classy like Guy Ritchie, and it looks like he's done a remarkable job. Kinda sad we have to wait until August 15th to see it though.

   
And away we go... stay cozy out there.

   

Bullet Sunday 418

Posted on February 1st, 2015

Dave!Enjoy a second helping of bullets... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Super! Not a good day for Seahawks fans...

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave Disappointed Seahawk Fan

Better luck net year, guys... and congratulations to the Patriots!

   
• Two! My disappointment that Mila Kunis is not in the sequel is equal to my excitement that Morgan Freeman is...

My guess is that they'll write her off in one line. As in "Hey Johnny, sorry that your wife died in a tragic liposuction accident!. How clever.

   
• Fantastic? Oh joy. Another looks like we're getting yet another comic book movie that shits all over the source material...

This may very well end up being a really good science fiction movie... but, from the looks of things, it has precious little hope of being a good Fantastic Four movie. I wish all the rights for Spider-Man, X-Men, and Fantastic Four would revert back to Marvel where they belong. Sony and 20th Century Fox don't have the slightest frickin' clue what they're doing.

   
• Free the Music! Holy crap do I long for the day that music recording labels just die already so artists can sell the music they want to make directly to their fans... REGARDLESS OF WHERE THOSE FANS MAY LIVE ON THIS PLANET! I am so tired of having to pay astronomical amounts of money for pricey import albums simply because a label refuses to release the music in North America. In case you haven't heard, WE LIVE IN A GLOBAL ECONOMY, ASSHOLES! So instead of bitching and whining about music piracy, why don't you... oh... I dunno... SELL YOUR FUCKING MUSIC TO THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BUY IT SO THEY WON'T HAVE TO STEAL IT?

   
• Live! Even when the guest-host has been good, Saturday Night Live has been pretty sub-par this season. Then Blake Shelton came to visit and we get the funniest episode in ages...

Rumor has it that Eddie Murphy is going to make an appearance for the SNL40 celebration.If anything would get me to tune in... that would be it.

   
It's the end of the bullets as we know it... and I feel fine.

   

Bullet Sunday 405

Posted on November 2nd, 2014

Dave!Halloween may be over, but the terror is just beginning... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Frozen. While my hockey heart will forever belong to the Blackhawks, my love of Boston Red Sox baseball spills over to the Bruins from time to time. Halloween was one of those times...

Boston Bruins as Frozen Characters

Dressing up as characters from Frozen to visit sick kids? That's pretty great. GO BOSTON!

   
• Corn! Okay... this took me completely by surprise...

Now that's a cat that likes corn!

   
• Rock. Oh... so that's what it takes for Saturday Night Live to be entertaining again! Chris Rock and Prince! As a huge fan of Chris Rock, I knew he'd blow in like a hurricane and ride the bleeding edge. He did not disappoint. With an opening monologue that was so brilliantly dead on that he should be arrested for assault, Rock tore through gun control, Christmas commercialization, Jesus, 9/11, the Boston Marathon bombing, and Ebola like his life depended on it. Yeah, it was uncomfortable in spots, but it was exactly what it needed to be... enlightening and damn funny.

Chris Rock on SNL

Now we just need to wait for FOX "News" to shit all over his performance like they do anything that they can spin into an attack on 'Murica. Then again, is there anything they can't spin into an attack on 'Murica?

As for Prince... he decided to skip the whole "two-song performance" tradition and combined his time for a single blistering medley of his latest tracks. I do not envy having to be the band who has to follow that next week.

   
• Bianco. How Christina Bianco can keep all those voices straight in her head is a mystery... but the result is pretty amazing...

What... no P!nk?

   
• Galactic. I was sorry to hear of the tragedy that overcame SpaceShip Two earlier this week. Forging into unknown territory is always a dangerous but worthwhile endeavor...

Virgin Galactic SpaceShip Two

My thoughts are with the friends and family of co-pilot Michael Alsbury.

   
• OK! Yet another masterpiece from OK Go! This time they took their famous one-shot video concept to all new heights by using drones to shoot it. As if that weren't enough, the song is pretty awesome to boot...

Every time the band releases a new video, I wonder how they're possibly going to top it, and here's my answer. What's next? OK Go in space?

   
Click. Click. Click. Until next week then...

   

Skeletons

Posted on October 23rd, 2014

Dave!Last night I went to see The Skeleton Twins starring Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader... two SNL alums I like very much. I like them so much, in fact, that I actually went to see this movie it in a theater. Which I almost never do any more. The theater experience is absolute shit now-a-days because people are awful.

Skeleton Twins Poster

I wanted to see the movie ever since I saw the trailer...

It's hard not to see a movie that features the song Secret by OMD, which fits perfectly into the film...

As did the Starship song Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now, which was actually written for a different film entirely...

   
I'm just going to get this out of the way... The Skeleton Twins is a slow film. It's a slice of life drama that takes forever to go nowhere, but the journey is so well crafted that it doesn't really matter.

Maggie and Milo are twin siblings who haven't spoken in ten years because an incident in their past tore them apart. But when they both (unsuccessfully) attempt suicide on the same day at opposite sides of the country, they come back together to she if healing their relationship can heal themselves.

And that's pretty much all there is to it.

This is a dark comedy with some truly funny moments... but I don't know that I'd classify it as a "funny" film. Even so, I liked it quite a lot. Definitely worth a rental on video.

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Bullet Sunday 403

Posted on October 19th, 2014

Dave!Put down that pumpkin spice latte, you coffee house hipster... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Bureaucracy. If watching this video doesn't make you want to execute every bureaucrat asshole in Washington D.C. responsible for dreaming up this bullshit, then you're not watching it correctly...

Wouldn't it be great if our politicians got off their worthless asses and actually fixed stupid shit like this? Well, don't hold your breath, they're too busy getting reelected to do anything actually useful.

   
• LEGO. As a lover of all things LEGO, I have to say that even imaginary LEGO makes me happy when it's as well done as this...

LEGO Wonder Woman Invisible Jet

LEGO Wonder Woman Invisible Jet
Images by JimmyLegs50

You really gotta see the whole thing to appreciate this level of genius.

   
• Dora. I had a little crush on Dora from I Married Dora. I had more than a little crush on Mirage from The Incredibles...

Mirage Gets a Hug

I was very sad to learn that the amazing actress responsible for both those characters, Elizabeth Peña, passed away earlier this week. She will definitely be missed.

   
• Hooks. As if losing Elizabeth Peña wasn't tragic enough... sublimely talented SNL veteran Jan Hooks also passed away this past week...

A terrible loss for her many fans... including me.

   
• Reverse. One of my favorite bands, Mackintosh Braun released an EP titled The City Below in anticipation of their new album Arcadia, due in 2015. My favorite track off the EP was posted to SoundCloud and is worth a listen...

You can pick up The City Below at the iTunes Music store.

   
• Equality. Progress sometimes happens...

Marriage Equality Map

   
And that's a wrap. Kinda nice to have Bullet Sunday actually land on a Sunday for once.

   

Bullet Sunday 360

Posted on December 22nd, 2013

Dave!Times to put down that snow shovel and grab a mug of delicious hot chocolate... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Thrice Nine. I am very happy to announce that today we have released the ninth issue of THRICE Fiction Magazine, featuring a bevy of talented writers and artists all wrapped up in this stunning cover by the amazingly talented Katelin Kinney...

Thrice FictionIssue No. 9

Do yourself a favor and go download a FREE copy at the THRICE Fiction website... you'll be glad you did!

   
• Light. If I ever come up lacking blog fodder, all I have to do is drive down Wenatchee Avenue (the main drag running the entire length of the city of Wenatchee). Today I nearly ran over a guy crossing the street against the light while hauling a filled body bag! Filled with what, I have no idea. But that's not all, as I also saw... two white guys poppin' and lockin' on a street corner... a woman in a motorized wheelchair dragging a wagon filled with Christmas presents... a little girl twirling like she just don't care in front of an Indian restaurant... Santa Claus... a guy in shorts and a fur parka sitting on the trunk of his(?) car smoking a cigarette and drinking from a giant coffee mug... AND this...

Light of the Turd

It says "CHURCH THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD"... but they drew a streaming pile of shit in the middle of it? Which is covering the secondary brake light, rendering it useless. Oh... and if you think that I managed to get into Denny's at 2:30 on the Sunday before Christmas? NO! No I did not! Which makes me sad, because that Hobbit Specialty Menu ain't gonna last forever.

   
• Mango! I'm a Kool-Aid kid. I would rather have a cold glass of Kool-Aid than soda pop any day. Tropical Punch is my favorite flavor, but I try to shake things up by making classic flavors like Orange, Grape, Lemon-Lime, and Watermelon. I also have tried specialty flavors that pop up from time to time like Purplesaurus Rex, Arctic Green Apple, and Sharkleberry Fin. And then this week I found Mango, which I almost skipped because I worried it would be too weird like the Pineapple flavor I tried last month. But, sanity prevailed, and I thought I'd give it a try...

Mango Kool-Aid

Delicious! Really good color, aroma, and flavor! If you like mango, then this is absolutely worth a shot.

   
• Reel. I've mentioned a couple times how I'm really stoked to see the Russian film Stalingrad, which takes place during World War II in the middle of one of the bloodiest battles in world history. The trailer looks absolutely amazing, even though I'm not a big fan of war movies. And now they've released a special effects real showing how they were rendered for 3-D. It's pretty mind-blowing...

Needless to say, I want to see the movie now more than ever. I guess it's in limited release, because I haven't seen it playing anywhere yet. It'll be a pretty big bummer if it leaves theaters before I can see it.

   
• Bittersweet. On one hand, New Mexico and Utah have joined the marriage equality bandwagon...

Equality Wins

On the other hand, Uganda has passed an "Anti-Homosexuality Bill" which mandates life in prison for anybody having gay sex. I suppose we should all be thankful that the punishment wasn't set to "death," which was their original idea for a sentence. But I'm too busy being absolutely horrified. Even more so because anti-gay abominations of humanity here in the USA played a part in it. The very ideal of "The United States of America" is one of a beacon of freedom and hope known throughout the world. What in the hell happened? Our government is spying on its own people. We're passing horrific laws allowing the indefinite unlawful detention of American citizens. Our politicians are bought and paid for by Special Interest money with no consideration given to the people they profess to serve. Our media so thoroughly polarizes us that we've become a country hopelessly divided in venom and hate. And now? Now? We have assholes so filled with blind hatred and homophobia that they're exporting it to other countries because their efforts are finally failing here at home. Hardly a new concept, to be sure, but still fucking abhorrent given that these people are professing to be spreading hate in the name of religion. God bless America.

Because somebody has to.

   
• Pass. And lastly, in what I can only describe as a Christmas miracle come early, BARRY EFFIN' GIBB actually made an effin' appearance on The Barry Gibb Talk Show on last night's surprisingly funny Saturday Night Live...

Ordinarily, I wouldn't spoil the surprise like this, but... 1) he's right there on the video frame, and 2) The show featured guest host Jimmy Fallon and musical guest Justin Timberlake... was there any question that The Barry Gibb Talk Show wasn't going to make an appearance? Not the best installment of the long-running sketch, but certainly one of the most eventful! And a sad reminder that Robin Gibb is no longer with us, having died May last year.

   
And... time to make some holiday magic happen, people...

   

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