The temperature has been getting steadily hotter, but I'm not entirely melted just yet... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Hunt and Peck! This behind-the-scenes showing Post Malone using a typewriter for the first time makes me feel very old, but it's also pretty funny...

I used to have a manual typewriter that was lost when I moved stuff out of storage years ago. I also had a cheap electric which was never returned after somebody borrowed it. I really wish that I had either of them, because it seems a retro-cool way to communicate.

   
• Drained! Ha! XKCD reeeeeally has a thing for Dutch colonization and the Netherlands taking over the world!

We dump so much shit in the oceans that the junk would probably just plug the hole, if we're being honest.

   
• Health "Care." It blows my fucking mind how the IRS can put limits on individual contributions to your Health Savings Account. I should be able to contribute however much I need to in order to cover my legitimate medical expenses so I can get a tax break on those expenses. But no. I have to pay taxes on money going towards health expenses because I had big expenses this year. That is truly fucked. We should have our health care covered by our taxes instead of it being pissed away to insurance companies who leach money from the system for profit... but if we can't have that, then why the fuck can't we at least contribute whatever the hell we want whenever the hell we want to our HSA? More bullshit by our elected officials who are fucking OWNED by the insurance lobbyists...

I'm wondering for the hundredth time why American citizens haven't taken a fucking flamethrower to this country given how badly we get fucked over by our government. Absolutely everything is designed to screw over citizens while handing money and power over to greedy fucking assholes.

   
• McGamer! I love things like this! What a wild journey!

   
• Unexplainably Juicy! The new Sparkling Ice Starburst flavors are amazing. Seriously the best flavors they've ever made. Especially Orange and Strawberry...

Can't believe they're Zero Sugar, Zero Carbs, and only 5 Calories!

   
• Anakin! It really bothers me when I think back to how much I loathed Hayden Christensen for "ruining Star Wars" when it was never him. It was the shitty script and dialogue he was given. I am so happy that he's been given a chance at redemption and is nailing it...

It will be interesting to see if he gets any more Star Wars work, seeing as how they are running out of ways to shoe-horn him in the places he's popping up already.

   
And now back to our regularly-scheduled hotness.

Yesterday was a tough day. I received some terrible news very early and it kinda took the wind out of my sails. One sad fact about getting older is that bad news seems to accelerate, and once you get to the point of accepting what happened, you get hit with something else. I had planned on installing the final ceiling access panel I had built over the weekend, but couldn't pull it together.

Instead I fell down a rabbit hole over the movie A Few Good Men, because I watched it last night before bed.

This is a film that perplexes me. I always found the dialogue to be wordy and unnatural. Everything coming out of Tom Cruise's mouth feels like it's coming off a script because nobody talks that way.

But the performances!

The dialogue may be a bit weird and unnatural to me, but the way the actors deliver it is unnaturally incredible. The performances are wonderfully nuanced, and I honestly think that it's the best acting to come out of Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson throughout their entire careers... plus every other actor was top-tier amazing in every scene. It's a dream cast giving their absolute best, and you feel it while you're watching the movie.

The reason for this post is that I want to run through my favorite performance in A Few Good Men.

Yeah, yeah, that explosive Jack Nicholson monologue is a master-class of acting and takes your breath away with just how flawless he performed the scene... but it's Noah Wyle's Corporal Barnes that really stood out for me. And it's such a small role. He drives the legal team to the base when they arrive and has a funny line about putting on a jacket since you don't want to look like an officer because you might get shot at. But it's this scene in the courtroom that really made me take notice...

Just think for a minute about all the balls that Noah Wyle is having to juggle in his moment.

The entire movie hinges on a "Code Red" that results in tragedy. Wyle is the one actor who has to explain it, illustrate it, and tell the audience about how it is technically not a military authorized practice, but soldiers taking disciplinary actions into their own hands. This is not some bit part filmed for scenery or atmosphere, it is the crux of absolutely everything that follows. How Rob Reiner came to cast Noah Wyle for such a critical role is something I really wonder about.

Barnes has to come off as a country hick, but can't appear stupid. You feel that he's probably uneducated and not too bright... but he isn't ignorant either. That's a balancing act that takes some serious acting chops.

He has to be the most genuine person in the entire cast, which means Wyle's performance is far more nuanced than you'd assume at first glance. He has to emote while being a blank canvas, because his testimony can't have any hint of an alternative motive or secrecy. You have to 1000% buy that everything he says is an honest reflection of his experience so that you comprehend the events of the movie in a way that doesn't leave room for doubt.

In lesser hands, Barnes could have been played as a jarhead robot forcefully expressing his lines. But Wyle's performance plays it deferential, likable, and wholesome. He's almost gentle. This was likely because Rob Reiner wanted a stark contrast between him and the other Marines so you have more of a sense that Barnes is being personal and honest while delivering the most important information in the entire film... not just dumping Marine rhetoric on you. It's a fascinating choice, and a very, very smart one. Noah Wyle has spoken about his role, but I'd love to hear him explain his choices and what direction he received to get there.

I looked Wyle up on Wikipedia to find out if he was originally from the South. His slight Southern accent is not overwhelming and feels more authentic than the twang we usually has to suffer through. The guy was born and raised in California. Which meant he must have researched and practiced for his role.

And nailed it.

It's all too easy to get caught up in the performances by the big-name actors in a film or series while ignoring the minor roles as background noise. But there are times that this is impossible. And Noah Wyle's performance in A Few Good Men is one of them. At least for me.

One of the most compelling villains in movie history comes from a place that you likely wouldn't expect... a cartoon film.

Namely one of my favorite cartoon films, Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers.

And now, in news that both surprised and delighted me, Feathers is back in a new movie... Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl...

This pretty much made my entire day!

There has been so much talk about movie theaters shutting down and "The Death of Movie Theaters" that I've pretty much accepted it as fact. With the exception of going to see Taylor Swift and her Eras Tour: The Movie (totally worth the risk of getting COVID), the last movie I saw in a theaters was Spider-Man: Far From Home in July of 2019. So... going on five years now.

It would be easy to blame this on COVID, but I had stopped regularly going to the theater years before. I'd just go to the Marvel Studios movies because the spectacle of it all was better on the big screen. Nothing to do with COVID... I just eventually grew to hate the fucking people you have to watch a movie with. Used to be that people respected the audience and any interruptions to your experience were rare. But then people started becoming bigger and bigger assholes, and you were guaranteed to have loud talking... people on mobile phones... kids running amok... and once I even witnessed a fight because somebody kept bumping the seat in front of them. It's madness. Who wants to pay money to put up with that shit?

For a while I circumnavigated the bulk of this mess by only going to "prestige" theaters or dinner theaters or what-have-you. When you have to pay a boatload of money to see a movie, you tend to get people who are there to be serious about watching the movie. But eventually even that was tainted. When I saw Avengers: Endgame There was a group of grown-ass adults loudly talking the entire time. It was at that point that I said "fuck it" and decided I was done with theaters. I ended up going to Spider-Man: Far From Home a few months later, which wasn't as bad an experience... but it was still bad. Because People. My love affair with theatrical releases was over.

That was pre-COVID.

Then COVID came along and I decided that I can just wait for streaming and view films from the comfort of my own home. It wasn't worth it before and now it really wasn't worth it (except for you, Taylor!).

Which is a darn shame because there was a time I loved the movie theater experience. In my high school and college years, I was going to a movie most weeks. Sometimes twice a week. Didn't even have to be a big-budget affair... I would go see anything in a theater. Aliens one week... Hoosiers another week... Manhunter the next (boy 1986 was a good year for movies — although the worst movie I've ever seen in theaters, Born American, also came out in '86 so there's that).

I don't know what it would take to get me back in a movie theater again. Odds are the answer is nothing. Or maybe Avengers: Secret Wars. I honestly don't know.

To me, movie theaters are already dead. and have been for quite a while.

I may be in the middle of fighting the losing battle of keeping my home clean while having cats, but now there's a lull in the fight... because an all new All-YouTube Edition of Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Whither Adobe! As if there wasn't already enough reason to hate Adobe, their new draconian Terms of Service drives it all home...

Adobe has come forward to "clarify" that what they say is not what they mean... but why wasn't this clarication in the original Terms of Service? What a bunch of fucking piece of shit assholes. This was bad enough that I downloaded the latest versions of the Affinity graphic suite to take another look at switching to their apps whenever possible. I have to say... they just keep getting better. I could do most of my work in their ecosystem if I had the time to learn their tools. But I think I'm going to start looking into it more seriously. If you want to hop onboard, the already-affordable Affinity apps (which do not require a subscription!) are currently HALF OFF! It's a huge opportunity if you want a photo editor, drawing program, or layout app, head over and check them out!

   
• Nice Beaver! Holley Muraco has a magical YouTube Channel where she shows off the antics of her beaver rescues Tulip, Stormy, and Petunia. I swear, even the simplest things they do are wonderful. I am obsessed...

Beavers love bananas. Who knew?

   
• Dončić! I am not a big basketball fan (especially since the Seattle Sonics were lost to us) but I have fallen down a Luka Dončić (plays for the Mavs) rabbit hole and I can't escape. It all started when I saw a video of him on the bench when he sees himself on the Jumbotron and is happy and clapping. That's his whole attitude in a nutshell. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. He is an incredible trick-shot with a basketball! I've seen his shots pop up in sports news from time to time, but I had no idea...

So cool that somebody so talented loves the game this much.

   
• This Is a Hit? The new Netflix Glen Powell vehicle, Hit Man was sure to have an ending so obvious that I almost didn't watch. And indeed you do get that ending... at an hour in. Then the movie snowballs to the real ending which, I gotta say, was not what I expected. With a tighter script this could have been a great movie instead of a good movie. As it is, there are parts that drag so badly that you have to wonder how it got greenlit in this state. They really, really needed to take another pass on the story to make it more exciting in those dead zones which try to sabotage it.

But that's the problem with movies now. It's all about pumping them out and moving on to the next one instead of investing time into making a good one.

   
• Pliny! Adam Does Not Exist (whom I became a huge fan of after his pizza videos) has a fun video of trying to get Pliny the Younger, a very rare IPA where people from around the world fly to San Francisco (so they can go to whatever the region north of Marin is called) to visit the brewery to get it. — I've had it (and the more common Pliny the Elder). A friend had a dinner where everybody got a shot-glass-full. I absolutely hated it. It's just... bitter. There's nothing else to it (like most IPAs)...

While I'm not a fan of Pliny the Elder either, at least it had some other flavors to it (I think it was a pineapple-citrus flavor). But even so, this is a good video if you want to watch something fun (as are most of Adam's videos).

   
• Rox-ETTE! Unreal. Per Gessle is reforming Roxette after the tragic death of Marie Fredriksson? Good Lord, WHY? She simply cannot be replaced...

It won't be Roxette. Not even close.

   
• Generative Theft! I laugh at the idea that Generative AI is a victimless crime (much like I laugh at the idea that AI "art" is actually art). But that's not the most common line of thinking. That would be that AI "art" is not a crime at all. Despite the fact that it has been trained on material where the original creators were never compensated. Or likely never even told. Here's the entire nightmare in vivid relief...

Horrifying.

   
And now back to my regularly-scheduled Sunday cleaning.

Tomorrow is the start of Pride Month.

It's a time of appreciation, love, and support for LGBTQ persons from their community and its allies. Given what they have to endure in our toxic society it's darn important (straight people can have the other 11 months of the year). It's especially important for queer youth, who need affirmation that they are not alone and there are people out there who love and accept them for exactly who they are... despite whatever bullying and hate that comes their way.

It's also a time where corporations capitalize on Pride by slapping a rainbow on everything in order to make money. Sometimes to show support. But most times to make money. Or possibly to show support and make money.

As usual I'll devote the month to LGBTQ movies old & new. This year is shaping up to go like this (December is usually all Hallmark Christmas movies, but I've lost access to Hallmark Channel, so I had to switch things up)....

• ✓ JANUARY: Concert films.
• ✓ FEBRUARY: Movies for Black History Month.
• ✓ MARCH: Indie movies.
• ✓ APRIL: Italian films.
• ✓ MAY: Science fiction flicks.
• JUNE: Movies for Pride Month.
• JULY: Historical films (scheduled).
• AUGUST: Disney movies (scheduled).
• SEPTEMBER: 80's movies (scheduled).
• OCTOBER: Horror flicks (scheduled).
• NOVEMBER: Super-Hero movies (scheduled).
• DECEMBER: Hallmark Rom-com movies (scheduled).

I always try to watch a movie a day, but sometimes I binge a series over a couple days if that fits my schedule better. And usually I try for a 50/50 split between favorite movies and movies I haven't seen before to be sure I don't get flooded with duds. That's essential with LGBTQ movies because way too often they're rooted in heartbreak or tragedy and there's only so much of that you can take night after night.

This year I'm starting with Date and Switch, so at least I won't have to worry about heartbreak or tragedy right off the bat. Happy Pride, everybody.

I had a really rough night and ended up watching a boatload of YouTube videos to take my mind off the stabbing pain that was shooting through me. Sure it meant I only got 3 hours and 42 minutes of sleep and was exhausted all day long, but it beats having to take painkillers that wreck havoc on my internals.

One of the standout videos I watched was Jenny Nicholson at her most hilarious. The longer this went on, the funnier it got. I think I have a hernia now...

   
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! There was more Jenny madness to be had: "I guess I don't know that guy's nationality just by looking at him... so... maybe in his case it is okay to be doing this." In this video she's taking a look at this Canadian church which has become famous for their Easter plays. I WAS NOT AT ALL PREPARED!! As she runs through them, things just keep getting more unreal as the years go on. I cannot fathom how much time is spent on these productions. But it's a lot. TIME THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SPENT WORSHIPPING THE LORD! GAH!

   
Another great thing I saw was the trailer for Moana 2, which looks gorgeous and hilarious...

   
I finally joined Nebula to watch Thomas Flight's exclusive videos and discovered Mary Spender. What a phenomenal talent. She's on YouTube too and worth a listen. She's got her original music there, but she also comments on music in general. This video on the song Dreams by Fleetwood Mac is so good. What a wild story...

   
And now it's today! I've always loved Antonio Banderas. Even when the film isn't great, he puts his all into his role and is always worth watching. What's so great is that the guy never stops working. The first thing I saw him in was Philadelphia. But the movie I first really remember him from was "Desperado." Then there was Mask of Zorro and The 13th Warrior and Once Upon a Time in Mexico which cemented him as a favorite. Right now I am watching a 2017 film called Security on Netflix. I liked it. Banderas has lost absolutely nothing. And then... BEN KINGSLEY?!?? It's kinda Die Hard in a mall, but in a good way. Plenty of action, some dark turns, and Banderas killing it...

Enjoyed it quite a lot. In a day when fascist assholes are wanting to close libraries, ban books, and keep kids from reading, it's nice to remember more literate times.

In other news...

As usual, neither the Left nor the Right is happy with my reaction to the Trump verdict, but I'm getting used to it. Because what I have to say is this... "Great! Now let's go after the rest of these corrupt politicians and purge the government in BOTH parties."

Overwhelming evidence. Guilty on all 34 counts. That's what his party wants representing them in government? But then I look at Democrats and their love of Nancy Pelosi and her corrupt insider-trading ass, which they excuse away because her husband made the actual trades, and it's like... yeah. She couldn't have possibly told him to sell their Google stock right before Google would be sued over antitrust violations. That totally tracks.

Americans need to wake the fuck up. The only reason that 90% of these politicians are in government "service" is so they can exploit their office for money and power. Period. Ban politicians from trading stocks or accepting money from PACs and lobbyists, make the penalty for corruption be death by firing squad, and watch how fast most of them abandon a job that once meant guaranteed money and power.

Corruption is built into our political system, and the ones who can stop it are the ones running it.

Which is why I pledge fealty to no politician or political party. I am sick of all of it.

The trailers for Beverly Hills Cop: Axel Foley and Beetlejuice Beetlejuice dropped today!

I tell you what, it's so nice to have something to look forward to. There has been a real dearth of good genre entertainment lately (Madame Web!), and I'm ready.

This movie looks exactly like what I'd want it to look like...

As does this one...

I have massive expectations for more Deadpool...

And then there's the new Cap movie coming...

And don't forget about Acolyte, which will be here in a few weeks...

Looks like the most Jedi thing to ever come out of Star Wars. FINALLY we might get to see the full potential of what a group of Jedi is capable of. Something I thought we'd get in Attack of the Clones when they teased The First Battle of Geonosis. But nope! Sure we got Mace Windu being all badass and cool with his Jedi acrobatics. But that's it. All the Jedi in the background are just indiscriminately waving their lightsabers around and using "Force Push" against a bunch of robots while firmly planted. It was fucking embarrassing. I've plaed LEGO Star Wars video games that were more exciting. Why not have all of the Jedi leaping around and being badass cool instead of this nonsense...

Kit Fisto deserved better. And Star Wars fans definitely did.

But anyway... nice to have something to look forward to.

UPDATE: And now this...

I'm excited about this, even though it's delaying a new season of Poker Face. But that logo... ACK!! Not centered up correctly because they did it mathematically instead of visually. Hopefully the movie will be better than that!

"Madame Web is spectacular. A triumph of the human spirit and a film which redeems super-hero movies for all eternity. No greater achievement in artistic expression will ever come to pass, and I’m rendered awestruck that such a cinematic masterpiece exists within my lifetime. Oscar glory awaits. Now streaming, only on Netflix!" —David Simmer II, Blogography

Look, I'm not here to pile on the absolute fucking disaster that is Madame Web because plenty of professional movie reviewers have taken care of that.

Except I am, because when you release utter shit in the comic book genre, then you oversaturate the market and fuck up people's confidence in comic book movies which might actually be worth a shit (see: every shitty Zack Snyder DC Comics movie ever).

But anyway... Madame Web...

From what I can tell, this is loosely based on the Spider-Man comic book saga The Grim Hunt where Kraven the Hunter's family starts hunting the various spider-characters of the Marvel Universe because their blood will resurrect Kraven (who had died earlier in the series. Or something like that. It's been over a decade since I read them.

Except instead of Kraven's family it's a different Marvel character, Ezekiel, who's hunting spider-people. And instead of wanting to resurrect Kraven, he wants to kill the spider-people because he's convinced they will kill him. The changes make sense because the Kraven movie hasn't come out yet and the film doesn't have Spider-Man in it. The comic book story is also where Madame Web dies (spoiler alert), but whatever.

But anyway... Madame Web...

In the comic books she's an old lady who's blind and paralyzed from a disease, but can see the future. She's kept alive by a network of tubes that resembles a spider's web...

Arguably one of the stupidest fucking heroes ever, she was shoe-horned into the Spider-Man Universe with a sledgehammer. Which is apt because Sony Pictures intended to shoe-horn this stupid fucking movie into the Marvel Cinematic Universe for no other reason that they own the motion picture rights to the Spider-Man characters. And they want to cash in on the fact that their deal with Marvel to put Spider-Man in the MCU has been incredibly lucrative. How they thought they would make money with a character that absolutely nobody gives a shit about is beyond me. And this film comes after the hilarious flop that was Morbius, which makes Sony look even more idiotic. And just you wait... Kraven is coming on December 13th!

But anyway... Madame Web...

The film is about a woman named Cassie Webb whose mother was shot by the evil Ezekiel in Costa Rica as she looked for a magical spider. He wanted the magic spider she found, and killed her for it. In an attempt to save her life, a mysterious group of spider-people let one of these magical spiders bite her to give her super-powers. But it's too late. She dies, Cassie is born, and she grows up to find out the magical spider that bit her mom gives her the ability to see the future. Meanwhile, Ezekiel and his precognitive abilities foresees that three girls will eventually get spider-powers and be responsible for his death. So he sets out to kill them first. Cassie sets out to same them. Totally unoriginal and boring super-hero antics ensue.

This movie is horrendous. Nothing makes sense. Major plot points could have easily been circumnavigated with even ten seconds of thought. And you could tell that they were jerking the story around from start to finish because there's a lot of inserted dialogue which is painfully fucking obvious. Whether this is studio interference or incompetence is anybody's guess. All I do know is that, with the exception of a few action sequences that aren't half bad, the movie is an ungodly mess that should have never been made.

It's just more garbage being inserted into the comic book movie genre that nobody wants or asks for.

I'm building build building this weekend, but I haven't forgot about you, dear reader... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• DestructiPad! Apple introduced their amazing new iPads in the worst way possible. To illustrate how this miracle device is capable of a huge number of creative endeavors, from music to art to research, they released a commercial where a massive hydraulic press squishes musical instruments, art supplies, and other physical tools into nothingness. And they let you see the destruction in excruciating, closeup detail...

Now, I get what they were trying to do... but holy shit. Who thought this ad which celebrates the death of physical creativity would be a good idea? The first thing I thought was "Do they not speak with foreign culture consultants before releasing their ads?" Because the first thing I thought of was... there are cultures where creative tools are revered, and destroying them like this is an unforgivable act. And, sure enough, the outrage was immediate. Particularly from Japan, where something like this is unforgivable. But it should anger anybody who thinks this kind of waste is senseless. Apple ultimately apologized, but it is crazy to me that they were so stupid as to do this in the first place. They could have animated it... or used cardboard cut-out representations... or anything where the actual objects weren't destroyed.

   
• MaxiPad! Tone-deaf commercial aside, the new iPads are incredble. The display, the power, the larger size, the new stylus... it's a digital creator's dram come true. I don't use my iPad enough to justify buying a new one (I have a 2020 iPad Pro), but was curious to know how much my ideal iPad configuration with accessories would cost. It's $2000... not including AppleCare. But no worries... Apple will give me $65 to trade in my old iPad Pro! Yikes. I'll just wait for the MacBook Pro M4, thanks.

   
• Exit! Okay. Dang. Sometimes short films have more impact per second than a multi-million dollar flick...

This brilliantly illustrates how a film doesn't necessarily have to take its time and build up characters into fully-realized people in order to be entertaining. Sure traditional long-form movies are my preferred way to experience a story, but running into something like this shows that it's not the only way to tell a story. If you haven't seen it yet, be sure to check out my last short film pick, Two Strangers Meet Five Times.

   
• THERE IT IS! And... scene...

Here's the thing: I have never had a desire to wear nail polish. It's never been my thing, even when I was into cultures where it was a part. But seeing all these snowflakes getting so triggered by FUCKING NAIL POLISH makes me actually want to start wearing it. The idea that guys can't accessorize their appearance without being trashed by the toxic masculinity brigade is absurd. Why the fuck are people so invested in what other people are doing with their appearance? Let them do them and you do you. It's not that hard to ignore shit that makes others happy that you wouldn't do for yourself.

   
• EXIT SLOW! Ah yes. The Union Street exit in Seattle. I have taken it many times. And have seen people nearly lose control many times. Never seen a crash... but I believe they happen often because of how it's designed. Some guy set up a camera to catch accidents of cars taking the exit too fast, and they do indeed happen often...

You'd think that people driving in an area that they are unfmiliar with would be following all suggested speed signs rather than ignoring them. Odds are, there's a reason that they tell you to slow way down.

   
• More Runner! One of my most favorite films of all time is Blade Runner 2049. It shocks me to this day that it wasn't a massive blockbuster success. This is the film that genius-director Denis Villeneuve made before his celebrated Dune films, and it's equally phenomenal. This week it was annonced that Amazon Prime Video is making a sequel series... WITH MICHELLE FUCKING YEOH!!! I gotta tell you, I have no idea when Blade Runner 2099 is going to happen, but I am already looking forward to seeing it. If it's even half as good as 2049, it will be well worth the wait.

   
• NEWSFLASH: Ted Cruz Called Automatic Airline Refunds a ‘Dumb Idea.’ Senators Disagreed. Do you think that if Ted Cruz blows enough airline executives he can take his next Cancún vacation for free? The refund is not immediate-immediate. It's only if your flight has been significantly delayed and you don't rebook another flight to replace it. The only thing this changes is that you don't have to fill out a bunch of paperwork and let the airline string your along forever... or issue you some stupid credit that you'll never use before it expires. Where the fuck does this boot-licker asshole come up with this outrageous shit? Do people even believe his ridiculous crap anymore? Ted Cruz is a fucking embarrassment, and the fact that he still has a job shocks the shit out of me. Republicans don't think that they deserve to get their money back with a minimum of inconvenience when they get fucked over by over-bookings or maintenance failures or whatever? Get real.

   
And now back to hammering...