Don't let the depressing lack of Saturday get you down, because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Tarzan. As a massively huge fan of the original Edgar Rice Burroughs novels, I'm pretty much done with the Tarzan movie adaptations (if that's what you can call them). The number of times I've seen The Lord of the Jungle reduced to a grunting ignoramus is legion, and has nothing to do with the actual character. Tarzan is a literal genius who speaks dozens of languages and, when he's out of the jungle, highly cultured as well. So you can imagine my eye-rolling reaction to the news that there's a new Tarzan movie coming out...

Except... apparently the movie starts out with Lord Greystoke (aka "Tarzan") in London's high society, his jungle adventuring days long behind him. Sooooooo... maybe? Heaven only knows that I'd love to finally see a half-way decent Tarzan on the silver screen. The special effects are sure up to the challenge. Alas... the heinous memories of the John Carter movie (Edgar Rice Burroughs' other famous creation) still linger...

   
• The Force. If you're a fan of Star Wars, then here's the site for you...

Amazing. Keeeeeeep scrolling...

   
• Uhhhhhhhhhh. ZOMFG! YOU CAN'T HAVE GUNS IN JAIL? WTF?! So much for "American freedom!"

I cannot believe these stupid assholes. We have sterilized the entire Bundy clan after this idiocy so they can no longer breed, right?

   
• Taco! IT'S PEOPLE! THE TACOS AT TACO TIME ARE MADE WITH PEOPLE!

Delicious people! Totally rethinking my stance on vegetarianism...

   
• Picard! Captain, let's beam down to Rigel for some whores and blow!

Always good to be a starship captain!

   
And... on that note of ultimate Trekiness... I'm out of Bullets for this week.

When you eat as much unhealthy crap as I do, you'd learn to love them too. They make a nice alternative from unhealthy crap when you feel the need to lay off the unhealthy crap.

And if that's you, I've decided to rank all the Quaker Rice Cakes flavors for you...

1. CHOCOLATE. My hands-down favorite. Tastes chocolatey, but not too chocolatey or too sweet. I seriously love these things, and would often rather have them than a candy bar. You just have to remember to eat them up-side-down so the little chocolate chips melt on your tongue as you eat them for best effect. DID YOU KNOW... if you put vanilla frosting on them, they taste like crunchy chocolate cake!
2. BUTTERED POPCORN. Not actually popcorn-flavored... at least not to me, but they do have a pleasing salty crunch that I'd rather eat instead of chips. Not popcorn though... Skinny Pop Popcorn still have these beat. DID YOU KNOW... if you spread actual butter on them, then pop them in the microwave for five seconds (or just BEFORE the butter starts to melt) they're actually pretty amazing.
3. APPLE CINNAMON. Look, it's never going to come close to taking the place of apple pie... or even apple crisp... but thesand if you dip them in caramel sauce, they are unbelievably tasty. Like a crunchy dessert or something.
4. CARAMEL. One of my most favorite rice cake flavors was Cracker Jack. I don't know what happened, but I can't find those any more. They were not terribly Cracker-Jack-like (no peanuts!) but had an actual butter-toffee taste that was vaguely reminiscent of America's fun-time snack. The caramel flavor is kinda-like Cracker Jack except it's got a dash of caramel flavoring to it. Unfortunately, it's a bit artificial-tasting, but it's certainly not terrible. DID YOU KNOW... drizzling these with a sugar-glaze and pecan pieces makes them taste pretty phenomenal.
5. WHITE CHEDDAR. I'm going to put this out there... White Cheddar used to be my favorite rice cake flavor. They were almost mouth-puckering sharp which went a long way towards compensating for any hint of actual cheese flavor. But then something happened. Quaker drastically toned-down the "sharp" for whatever reason, and I found I didn't like them nearly as much. Also... like the Apple Cinnamon flavor... these fall apart easily and often come out of the package as crumbs. Very disappointing. DID YOU KNOW... if you melt actual cheddar cheese over these under a broiler (NEVER a microwave) they're great. If you dip the cheddar-covered rice cakes in warm pizza sauce, they're amazeballs.
6. LIGHTLY SALTED. Not necessarily "boring," per se, but not very exciting either. I only buy them for those rare times I'm not feeling the other flavors. DID YOU KNOW... if you run out of clean dishes and have no cones, you can eat ice cream off of these? Useful!
7. UNSALTED. Don't even bother. Fucking atrocious. DID YOU KNOW... nothing can save these. Nothing. Maybe sprinkling them with salt, spread them with butter, add a slice of cheese, then top with red pepper flakes... maybe that will help. I dunno.

And there you have it. All my favorite rice cakes.

Keep healthy-snacking, people!

Okay then... finished my home cooking for the month.

Because nothing tastes as amazing as a freshly-baked biscuits... and it's one of the few things I can make that always turns out great no matter how badly I try and screw it up...

The recipe was given to me in a travel forum, so I have no idea who came up with this bit of genius...

• 4 cups Bisquick
• 1 cup sour cream
• 1 cup 7-Up
• 1/2 cup melted butter

Mix Bisquick, sour cream, and 7-Up. Dough will be very, very soft, but don't worry. Knead and fold dough until well-mixed (I spoon on some extra Bisquick after mixing until it's not quite so sticky). Pat dough out on Bisquick-covered board and cut biscuits using a round biscuit cutter (or cookie cutter). Melt butter in bottom of cookie sheet pan or 9x13 casserole dish. Place biscuits on top of melted butter and bake at 425° for 12-15 minutes or until brown.

Now, if you'll excuse me, biscuits, butter, and jam await me.

Can't get no satisfaction? You've been looking in the wrong place, because an all-new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• STRANGE! I love love love love Dr. Strange in the comics. Other than whitewashing The Ancient One from Tibetan to a white English woman (to appease the massive Chinese movie market, I'm guessing), this looks very promising indeed...

November can't get here quickly enough. But first? Captain America: Civil War, baby! This film is getting amazing pre-release reviews and I cannot wait to see it.

   
• Representative? Congratulations North Carolina! The homophobic asshole politicians you elected are fucking up your state real good. But you probably don't need all those billions in jobs and visitor cash... I'm sure North Carolina is sitting on piles of money to make up for what you're losing. Oh? You're not? MIGHT WANT TO REMEMBER THAT WHEN YOU'RE IN THE VOTING BOOTH NEXT TIME!

Only hope now is a full-on repeal of this horrendous law, I guess...

THAT'S NOT A REPEAL, YOU ASSHOLE! Congratulations, North Carolina, you're getting exactly what you deserve for electing this homophobic, transphobic piece of shit. Might want to think about a recall.

   
• Whores! While looking around at the local antique mall, I spotted these Bible-toting dolls that made me laugh...

Tres adorbs.

   
• Nacho Cheese My new favorite snack: over-cooked nachos. Why oh why didn't I discover that over-baking the cheese made nachos ten times more delicious?

All those chips and cheese wasted.

   
• Funny Not Funny. I laughed over this for about ten minutes...

No, I'm not proud of myself.

   
And... that's all the bullets we have or today. Move along. Nothing more to see here. Move along...

Wow.

This kind of artistry makes my heart ache...

   
Everything about these cookies is mesmerizing. I can only guess that they taste amazing as well...

If you're looking to be completely blown away... here's her Facebook page.

Time to put the holidays behind you, because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• COMICS! Ordinarily, today would be filled with my favorite comic books of 2015. But I've drastically reduced the amount of comics I'm reading because I'm just not finding the compelling reads I've found in previous years. The biggest disappointment being that we didn't get more installments of Jupiter's Legacy, whose first volume ended in a massive cliffhanger back in January. I dunno. Maybe I'll find my comic book renaissance in 2016, but I'm just not feeling it this year.

   
• GAH! As if I weren't already excited enough for the upcoming Doctor Strange film...

Less than a year away!

   
• FOOD! Food costs are going through the roof. Even a meager bag of groceries will cost $25 or more. My average trip to the store is running around $75. With this kind of cash involved, you can bet I'm trying to get the most for my money. Which is why I am getting sick and tired of having to throw food in the garbage because the quality is in the shitter. Latest example? I bought a box of Eggo Waffles only to find that once again they're covered in crystal frost. Even when you scrape as much as you can off, they still end up wet in spots. Gross. And a total waste of money. I can only guess that they are partially thawing at some point, then getting re-frozen. But it's not me. I'm seven minutes from the grocery store. From now on, I'm going to start seeing if I can take the shit back for a refund. If not, I'm done shopping there. Or done with the product.

   
• WINTERY! The weather has been pretty shitty this past week, but it made for a beautiful couple days this past week once the sun came back out...

Not bad, Mother Nature, not bad at all.

   
• HOLIDAYS. It's not been a very good holiday season for me. The days from from Thanksgiving right through Christmas has been filled with sadness, loss, and more challenges than I would wish on anyone. With less than a week left in 2015, I'm ready to move on. So... let's wrap up the year with entries looking back at my favorite movies, television shows, and music... followed by a recap of the year here at Blogography, then get on with a fresh start in 2016.

   
And... the bullets have landed.

No need to put on pants, because a PANTS-FREE Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Angel. If you skip past everything else on this page... if you read just one of my links this Bullet Sunday... the story of Ruth Coker Burks should be it...

Photo by Brian Chilson & The Arkansas Times

What an amazing, amazing human being.

   
• Vegetarian? IT'S PEOPLE! VEGGIE DOGS ARE PEOPLE! DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS PEOPLE!

Guess I like people after all!

   
• Sexual Chocolate! And speaking of hot dogs... Chicago's famous Wiener's Circle restaurant dressed up as Coming To America's "McDowell's" for Halloween!

Photo by Mina Bloom

Epic. And now I've got to see that movie again.

If you haven't heard of Weiner's Circle before, they're famous for char dogs and the abusive staff...

Intrigued? A visit to their fan site is in order... which is probably safer than visiting in person.

   
• Chew! And now you know why I hate gum-smacking whores, cereal commercials, and any other time somebody CAN'T EAT AT A RESPECTABLE DECIBEL LEVEL! It's because I'm a frickin' genius!

   
• Yay? The World's Largest Fast-Food Chain Is Going Antibiotic-Free—and Not Just for Chicken? Way to go Subway! Almost makes up for the fact that you KNEW Jared Fogle was a child-raping psychopath yet did NOTHING because he sold a lot of your shitty sandwiches. Oh... wait a second... no it doesn't. You're a horrendous company and I will never buy another one of your fucking sandwiches ever again. I don't care if they're made of rainbows and you're give them away.

   
And now for something entirely different... I bid you adieu!

I didn't feel like cooking dinner tonight.

So I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a personal vegetable tray, some deli potato salad, Hawaiian sweet rolls, and Dibs ice cream snacks for dessert.

I started with dessert first...

And never made it to anything else.

Being an adult has its perks.

It's a good time to be a McDonald's fan.

Like me. I loves me the McDonald's!

First McFried McPies came back...

Now McDonald's is rolling out Mc24-hour McBreakfast starting October 6th...

Can it be that the McVeggie McBurger going nation-wide is next?

Oh how I McHope so.

Still recovering from my sleep-deprived trip to Maine.

Last night I bought milk for cereal and had a surprise when I went to pour it. It wasn't milk... it was half & half! I didn't understand how this happened until I ran back to the store so I could have cereal for breakfast...

When the cartons are angled towards you, all you see is purple. Somebody at the store got confused and loaded the fat-free milk section with half & half. I didn't bother checking because I buy milk from the same spot week in and week out.

Pretty crappy of Darigold to not do color-coding right. If you're going to make two different items the same color, you should at least try to differentiate them design-wise. ON THE PART PEOPLE ACTUALLY SEE!

What does one do with half & half anyway? What is it even? Half milk and half fat? Scary.