Yesterday on my way back across the mountains I stopped at the grocery store. Braving the crowds while food shopping was pretty much the last thing I wanted to do after five hours of travel, but I didn't have much choice. My cupboards, refrigerator, and freezer were all bare.

Before I went to Maine back in July, I made sure to eat all the food that could spoil so none of it would be wasted. Then I got called to Las Vegas, still didn't want to buy any new food that would go bad, so I just kept eating absolutely everything I already had. The night before my flight, I shit you not, I had pickles and saltine crackers for dinner. Not something I was interested in repeating any time soon. And so... a stop at the grocery store it was.

My shopping strategy is simple. Never buy anything unless it's on sale.

I am not terribly picky about what I eat, so this makes it easy to buy ingredients or prepared meals only when they are cheap. Except... groceries are never cheap any more, so I guess I should say "cheaper than normal." Fortunately my local grocery store has an iPhone app with all their coupons, specials, and discounts, so I also save money by making my list ahead of time and only buying what's on the list. I never "browse" at a store because then I'll just end up buying stuff I want instead of what I need.

And so... I made my list on the plane and was ready to go when I got back home. This time I scored big because a lot of key ingredients I needed were on sale. Flour so I can make bread. Tomato sauce and tortillas so I can make enchiladas. Veggie dogs so I can make veggie dogs. That kind of thing.

Another reason I like a list? It keeps me from buying things I should not be eating.

There I was at the store looking for "Sargento Balanced Breaks" healthy snack packs (on sale plus I had a 75¢ off coupon for club members!) when I saw a package of "break and bake" raw cookie dough. Something I absolutely, positively, should NOT be eating. Usually it's easy to resist cookies... I just avoid that aisle in the grocery store, and am not terribly fond of cookies any more anyway... BUT FRESH-OUT-OF-THE-OVEN COOKIES?!? How could I NOT buy that? They weren't on sale, but the generic brand was so much cheaper than the name-brand version that they were practically on sale! Close enough! And since they are crappy generic, they probably taste awful and I'll just end up throwing them in the garbage anyway, right? Sold!

Tonight I gave them a try. Not so appetizing out of the bag...

But then? OH HELL NO! THESE THINGS ARE FRICKIN' MAGIC!!!

I'm not joking. These things are phenomenal. Probably because I haven't had a fresh out-of-the-oven cookie in a decade or more.

This is terrible.

I'm thinking I can restrain myself by baking no more than three at a time... and only baking them when I already have the oven heated from cooking something else. The loophole being that I can cook up a second batch of cookies because the oven will still be warm from cooking the first batch of three cookies.

At least I think that's how that works.

And now it's time for the new Invader Zim movie on Netflix! I am so psyched I can't even stand it.

You know how you can take two breakfast cereals you like, mix them together, and end up liking the result even more than the individual cereals? Magic! I experiment with food mix-ups like that a lot. I do it with a lot of different foods, but cereals have always been my favorite. I made Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Cereal by mixing Cocoa Puffs with Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter before actual Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Cereal existed.

The best food mix-ups always seem to be accidents.

Like tonight.

I was eating some freeze-dried apples and remembered that I had bought some Apple Pie OREOs that I hadn't cracked open yet. So I grabbed a few cookies and found them to be surprisingly good but not great.

As I ate the last cookie I had in my hand, I picked up the bad of freeze-dried apples and noticed there were some crumbs in the bottom, so I poured them in my mouth and...

...magic!

No, it's not apple pie. But it's a lot closer in flavor than the OREOs on their own. And it's darn tasty.

And so now I'm completely addicted to Apple Pie OREOs mixed with freeze-dried apples.

Until the next mix-up comes along.

COOKIES!

Who doesn't love cookies? My favorite cookies are freshly-baked oatmeal-raisin cookies. Which is a pity, because I so rarely have the time to bake and they don't make any oatmeal-raisin cookies you can buy in the store that I will eat. So what cookies that you can buy in the store do I like? Glad you asked...

1. Pepperidge Farms Sausalito.
   The best cookies you can buy. Period. I am not a fan of coconut, but... the tiny shavings they add to these milk-chocolate chunk and macadamia miracles is amazing. As if the flavor profile wasn't sublimely delicious, they have a crisp, crumbly texture that somehow doesn't come off as dry. I could eat a bag of these a day for the rest of my life and never get tired of them. A pity they're so expensive.
2. Girl Scout Caramel deLites (Samoas).
   I am not a fan of coconut, but... these have it all. A buttery vanilla cookie base topped with creamy caramel and coconut shreds... THEN they put chocolate on top of that. There's so much delicious going on in each bite that your brain doesn't quite know how to process it. Keebler has the same cookie they brand as "Caramel Dreams," so you can eat them outside of Girl Scout Cookie Season.
3. Keebler Pecan Sandies.
   Shortbread is a highly subjective topic because everybody has an opinion as to what makes the best cookie. Some like a dense shortbread like Lorna Doone... others prefer a more traditional buttery shortbread like Walker's. I prefer a lighter shortbread (if you can call it that?) which is why I buy Sandies. My favorite version is the ones with pecans... though there never seems to be enough pecans in them.
4. Tim Tams Original.
   "Australia's Favorite Cookie" has two chocolate biscuits with a layer of yummeh chocolate cream between them... all drenched in milk chocolate. Doesn't sound like much, but the textures of the three components work together to give you an unforgettable cookie experience.
5. Girl Scout Thin Mints.
   The fact that these are vegan would usually make me run away screaming... but the Girl Scouts somehow make it work. A chocolate-mint wafer is coated in a chocolate compound to create a simple cookie treat which has enough mint flavor to satisfy... but not so much that it overwhelms. It's this flawless balance that makes it one of my favorites.

And that's cookies for you.

Wow.

This kind of artistry makes my heart ache...

   
Everything about these cookies is mesmerizing. I can only guess that they taste amazing as well...

If you're looking to be completely blown away... here's her Facebook page.

I've been craving Oreo cookies all day long.

Which is tough when you don't have any Oreos in the house. I had hoped the craving would go away, but it never did. So at 9:00pm I drove to the grocery store for a bag of cookies. When I got there the place was pretty much empty. This made shopping so nice that I ended up spending $50 on food I didn't even need*. Good thing I have room in my freezer.

Anyway...

I ended up eating a half-bag of Oreos, so this is me now...

At least my cookie craving is gone.

   
*A pity I didn't bring my shopping list so I could have bought the food I actually do need.