Double your Bullet Sunday, double your fun! Because a Very Special SHOPPING Make-Up Edition of Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• SUNDAY? I wasn't able to get a Bullet Sunday together for the 21st, so that had to be made up yesterday. Then this last Sunday got bumped to today. At which point I think I'm caught up with Bullet Sundays again. At least so far as I can be given how far behind I am getting my entries posted. My internet situation at home is dire, with the cable-based service dropping constantly while I wait to see if I can get fiber installed. I may just bag it and stick with shitty cable... assuming they can ever get it to work consistently.
• FREE? I no think that word means what you think it means...
It's not that their free shipping and handling cost me $45... it's that it's so "free" that they actually said "free" twice! Maybe they're hoping to say "free" so much that you won't bother looking at the actual cost? I dunno. But this is probably the best attempt at bad marketing I've seen in quite a while.
• BARGAIN? And then there's Amazon, who should really know better given how massive they are, but still makes goofy marketing blunders all the time. Like this twofer price structure which is pretty much genius... if you're looking at the fact that you get "free" Prime shipping for $13.75?
Sign me up! If I buy three does the price go up again?
• LOBBYIST! The problem with living in the wilds of Redneckistan is that your shopping options are limited. Most of the time this problem is solved via Amazon and their Prime 2-Day shipping, but what if I don't have two days? What if even ONE day is too late? That means making a lot of phone calls to a lot of stores and running around from one end of the valley to the other trying to track down what you MUST HAVE IMMEDIATELY. In my case, that was plain silver foil wrapping paper. Nobody had it. Nobody. Not any drug stores. Not any card & gift stores. Not the party store. Not Shopko. Not Target. Not the art store. Not the craft store. Nobody. Except, of course, Hobby Lobby.
The fucking assholes whom I swore I would never give a single dime of my money.
But what else can I do? Drive three hours to Seattle then three hours back for my emergency project that's due right now?
Nope. I bit the bullet and shopped at the only option I had after exhausting every other possibility. Knowing full well that my money would be used to further their heinous agenda of forcing their religious beliefs on their employees, choosing allowed methods of birth control for their insurance coverage, supporting bigotry, and being overall assholes towards anybody who doesn't hold the same beliefs as they do.
Luckily a Facebook Friend came to my rescue when I was lamenting about having to shop at Hobby Lobby... they suggested I make a donation in Hobby Lobby's name to Planned Parenthood in the amount of what I had to purchased. Genius!
I don't feel any better about giving money to Hobby Lobby, but I sure feel a lot better about (hopefully) offsetting some of the damage that comes from shopping there.
• PETCO! Since adopting two kittens, I spend a lot of time shopping for kitty food, kitty toys, kitty litter, and everything else kitty-related. My favorite store to shop at? Peptic! I love the selection. The prices are decent. And the staff is generally cool. But they're nearly a half-hour away, and I don't have time to make the trip as often as I need to. So the solution is easy, right? Just shop at Petco online! Except... no. Their website is complete shit. I tried to shop on Valentine's Day because they had a coupon code that could save me some money... except when it came time to check out, EVERY ONE OF THE EIGHT ITEMS I HAD IN MY CART were conveniently "out of stock" and they wouldn't let me place an order. Haven't they ever heard of a backorder? And, of course, everything was back in stock the next day when the coupon expired. But that's not even the worst of it. Every time I try to shop at Petco.com, I always have all the items in my cart disappear at least once. Sometimes when I've tried, I've had my cart turn up empty so often I just give up. How in the hell do they expect people to shop with Petco when their online shopping experience is bordering on useless? It's hard to fathom how a company this big could afford to piss people off like this in a day and age where most stuff they buy is online, but here you have it. Guess I'd better work an hour into my schedule to drive to the local shop in person. Again.
And that's more than enough shopping for this week. See you next Sunday.
And so... I'm home.
At last.
And my bag is here with me.
No thanks to United Airlines... the fucking assholes.
Never, ever, fly with United.
"One Million Moms" is an action group created by "The American Family Association"... an organization dedicated to bringing "traditional moral values" back to the media. At first blush, this is not such a bad idea... over-sexualization of the media has reached epic proportions, inundating young kids with sexual content and adult situations at earlier and earlier ages. And while I think it's the job of parents to regulate what their kids are exposed to... not society... I certainly sympathize with the struggle to do so, and think advocating for media being more careful about what gets dumped on children 24/7 is not a bad thing.
Unfortunately the people at the AFA's soccer mom offshoot, "One Million Moms," are a bunch of bigoted, racist, homophobic assholes, and one of their more popular activities is ruthlessly persecuting gays via campaigns of hatred anytime homosexuality is portrayed as "normal" or seen in a positive light.
An example... they called for a boycott of JC Penney because they dared to have Ellen DeGeneres as a spokesperson: "Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of their customers are traditional families. By jumping on the pro-gay bandwagon, JC Penney is attempting to gain a new target market and in the process will lose customers with traditional values that have been faithful to them over all these years."
What the fuck?
You'd think JC Penney had aired an ad where Ellen was eating out her wife Portia de Rossi while spread-eagle on top of JC Penney Home bed linens or something.
But, no... One Million Moms just hated the idea that JC Penney would dare to allow a homosexual to be on television. Not that a kid would ever know that Ellen was gay from watching one of her ads...
No. The only damage done to kids by this commercial is when their parents make a big fucking deal over it for no damn reason at all.
You'd think as more and more people point out what fucking assholes they are, that One Million Moms would have mellowed a bit over the years.
Not a chance.
If anything, they've only become even bigger homophobic assholes.
Earlier this month One Million Moms went ape-shit because American Girl magazine had a story that featured an 11-year-old girl... along with her two dads. They condemned the story as "sin" and called for a boycott of the publication just because families like this exist.
Like I said, fucking assholes.
But the family in question has a fantastic response...
One Million Moms can go suck a bag of dicks. How dare they attack a family which is built around providing a loving home to kids in foster care? What have they done to help foster kids?
Nothing.
Instead all they've done is make it so that kids lucky enough to have two dads that love them (not to mention a home to live in) are looked down upon by zombified homophobes.
Congratulations, assholes. Way to protect kids.
Guess your mission only applies to the right kids.
Want to know if you're doing good in the world? Having One Million Bigoted Douchebags calling for people to boycott you is a pretty good sign.
I'm not opposed to advertising on the web. Stuff has to get paid for somehow, and ads are a part of the game.
The problem is that they have quickly become an obstruction to content. No longer are they satisfied with being a minor nuisance... instead they beat the shit out of you and have become a major problem.
Take YouTube for example.
At first the ads were dismissive. Click here to skip.
Then they became delayed-dismissive. You can skip this ad in 15 seconds.
Then ads became mandatory and non-dismissive... but mercifully short. 20 seconds or so.
But now? Mandatory. Non-dismissive. And pushing three minutes long...
Needless to say, this fucking sucks.
Not only do I find myself hating YouTube... but also the advertisers that are subjecting me to this insane amount of obstruction. I don't care how cool of a product you're pushing... if you spend three minutes keeping me from content that lasts four minutes, I hate your guts and am not buying your shit.
Even worse?
Many times YouTube doesn't even tell you that you're watching an ad any more. The time-bar turns yellow instead of red and that's all the notice you get.
It's worse than television ads.
And I'm watching a fraction of the YouTube videos I used to because of it.
Congratulations, Google. You've fucked over and ruined yet another part of the internet.
I know that Subway is trying to reinvent their image with their latest round of commercials, but all I can think about each time their stinky sandwiches appear on my television is YOU WERE TOLD BACK IN 2008 THAT JARED WAS A PIECE OF SHIT CHILD-TROLLING PERVERT AND DID NOTHING. NOTHING, BECAUSE IT WAS FINANCIALLY LUCRATIVE TO DO NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL!
Photo by Getty Images (??? Couldn't find a photo credit, but the filename had "Getty" in it)
FUCK SUBWAY AND THEIR SHITTY SANDWICHES!
What a repugnant piece of shit.
The more that comes to light about Subway Sandwich Whore and world-class pedophile Jared Fogle, the more I think he needs to have his dick cut off then be shot in the fucking head. I mean, seriously... just listen to this heinous crap.
If there's any justice, he'll die in prison.
Could not find a credit for this creepy-ass photo.
eat fresh!
Next year I turn fifty and, let me tell you, there's nothing like travel to make me feel like the crotchety old fart I'm becoming.
The morning started off with my being told that Seattle is experiencing weather delays and the flight in could be delayed by an hour or more. Which would be fine if this were one of my typical four hour layovers at SeaTac but, just my luck, I have a 46-minute layover this time. But, eh... what can you do? If it happens, it happens and I'll figure something else out, right?
See... I'm also mellowing in my old age,
But then I started getting irritated because people are just so damn irritating.
The actual flight to L.A. was fine. I was completely absorbed by watching Mad Max: Fury Road again because... well... ZOMG WHAT AN AMAZING FILM... and didn't pay much attention to anything going on around me.
After landing it was another story.
There I was getting my suitcase down from the overhead when I get bumped into by a small boy. He's irritated and squirmy because he has to go to the bathroom. I let the mother know that they will probably let him use the bathrooms if she wants, because we're at the back of the plane and it may take a while for people ahead of us to clear out. She thanks me, but says he's already gone to the bathroom several times and he's just using it as an excuse. I then goof around with the kid for a bit to try and take his mind of things, but it doesn't last long and he's back to squirming in no time. His mother tries her best to keep him in line and everything, but the guy is a handful.
Then it happens.
Some crusty older bitch in her hipster black turtleneck sees that the mother has tattoos and crazy colored hair and piercings and instantly comes to the conclusion that this surely must be a bad mother, and SHE knows better how to raise children than the mother does. And she tells the mother this.
Which infuriates me. It's not like the mother is letting the kid go apeshit all over the place like most parents do now-a-days... she's trying her level best to keep him in line. So I cut the bitch a glance and say "Give me a break... he's a kid!" Which should have been the end of it.
But of course it wasn't.
The self-entitled parenting expert of the year keeps at it. Telling the young mother everything she's doing wrong.
I was about to say something again when all of a sudden... the mother lets her have it.
"ARE YOU HIS MOTHER? DID I ASK FOR YOUR ADVICE? WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"
Surely that would be the end of it, right?
Nope.
The hipster Anne-Rice-Wannabe bitch proceeds to tell the mother that she had to sit in front of her and her kid the entire flight and it was horrible and maybe the mother should drive next time.
The mother loses it.
SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! NOBODY ASKED YOU, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
And good for her. Probably wouldn't have cursed in front of the kid like that but, seriously, good for her.
As we're leaving, I feel the need to tell the mother that it's not her who should be driving... it's people who can't deal with being in public and are serious assholes about it. I hope it makes her feel better about the situation.
Sure I may like to talk about how people should be raising their kids... but never in a million years would I presume to actually tell a mother she's raising her kid wrong. Especially a mother who was trying to discipline her child and making them behave. What the fuck is that about?
And then I got to the car rental counter.
I can only guess the man causing a scene there was related to the asshole on the plane, because he sure acted like it. Apparently the car he wanted wasn't available, so he was just going off on the poor guys at the counter who were doing everything they could to placate the piece of shit. Like they have control over somebody not returning a vehicle on time or whatever. The asshole kept hammering away with "I'M A VERY GOOD CUSTOMER!" and "I'M GOING TO TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE!" and "I'M NOT SPENDING MONEY WITH THIS COMPANY AGAIN!" and "AUF WIEDERSEHEN! GOOD BYE! GOOD RIDDANCE!" and "YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT!" and "I'M NOT WALKING ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE PARKING GARAGE! YOU NEED TO BRING THE CAR TO ME!"
As I stood over at the next counter filling out my paperwork I just couldn't take it any more and started screaming "WAH! WAH! WAAAAAAAH! THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT ME?! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! MEEEEEE!!!" Then I looked over at the dickhead, inviting him to take on somebody who didn't have to put up with his bullshit.
But of course it never came. Assholes like this are almost always complete cowards when they have to fight against somebody who can fight back.
The prick finally signed off with "This is supposed to be customer service? I've never been so disgusted!" Which is when I had to point out to the guy helping me that I save my disgust for things like extreme poverty and world hunger.
Look, I get it. I have blogged many times about how shitty it is to not get the car you reserved. It sucks. It's wrong. It shouldn't happen. It's upsetting. But to take it out on some poor guy who is trying their best to help you? I'm just not that big a dick.
Well, I am... but I save my big dickish behavior for those who deserve it.
Even though I would probably be better off not getting involved at all.
Except I just can't help myself, can I? I am well on my way to becoming a crotchety old fart and seriously don't give a shit anymore.
If I ever did.
And then there was traffic hell on the 405 to deal with...
Welcome to the City of Angels.
And... I have no internet. And... I'll be traveling for a week. So this very special HEAVILY DELAYED edition of Bullet Sunday starts... eventually...
• Sisko! I have been totally addicted to the feral rescue project from TinyKittens.com. They've taken in a young feral kitteh named Sisko whom is very, very pregnant. Feral kittehs are a particular challenge in that they have no trust in humans whatsoever and have to be handled delicately. When they're pregnant, it's doubly so. You can drop by and watch her live here. Or relive past videos like this one...
Not a very comfortable-looking momma, that's for sure.
• Asshole! Just in case you need lessons...
I meet at least a half-dozen professional asshole drivers every day!
• Biblical! A very interesting look at "Your Deeply Held Religious Beliefs."
• Electra Woman! This is really happening...
Flawless casting.
• Pointless. Can I be honest with you? When celebrities completely miss the point on something and go all sanctimonious with their bullshit, it drives me crazy...
Listen, Harry Connick Jr., that's not what people are saying at all. When somebody says "better get a shotgun" because your daughter is of dating age... this has absolutely nothing to do with your daughter, her self-esteem, or her judgement. It has everything to do with the fact that horny teenage boys are going to be busting down your door trying to plan and scheme to date your daughter... or, more likely, have sex with your daughter. Your misunderstanding here is that only guys "of a certain caliber" are going to be attracted to her when, in fact, every heterosexual boy on earth is going to be attracted to her. Especially in today's highly-sexualized society. The metaphorical shotgun is so that you can fend off the bastards so your daughter has the opportunity to attract the guys of the caliber she deserves. So climb off your high horse and calm down before your inane rant makes you look like an idiot or something.
And, I'm out. Here's hoping this gets posted before next Bullet Sunday comes around...
Just goes to show... you can't have a debate over the Confederate Flag without dragging marriage equality into the mix!
Any bets on how long it'll be until this asshole is caught with an underage male prostitute in some seedy airport hotel?
Yeah. Definitely overcompensating for something.
Probably hates they idea of gay marriage because it's just so damn tempting to him.
Meanwhile, the rest of the world is waking up to the novel concept that UNLESS YOU'RE IN A SAME-SEX RELATIONSHIP, SAME-SEX MARRIAGE DOESN'T FUCKING AFFECT YOU.
Unless, of course, you want to be happy for all your friends, co-workers, and family who can finally get married the same way every other tax-paying American can.
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