I'm not a car guy, but I love watching entertaining people on YouTube, and some of the most entertaining were the guys at Donut. Then the channel started breaking up and I ended up following my favorites to their new channels... which included James Pumphrey to his channel, Speeed. And I actually prefer his new channel because he covers a bunch of stuff and not just cars.

Yesterday he dropped a video called 42 Things Everyone Should Learn How to Do and it goes in a few directions I didn't anticipate. I liked it...

First of all... I have that Yokohama Hard Rock T-shirt!

1. Fix a toilet. Thanks to having a piece of shit Kohler that cost me a fortune but is stupidly designed and needs tweaking all the time. I regret this purchase SO much.
2. How to reset a circuit breaker. Given my love of working with power tools, I'd be in sorry shape if I didn't know how.
3. Remount a bike chain. I haven't ridden a bike in decades, but I can probably remember how to do this from when I was a kid!
4. Learn CPR and when and how to use it. I do know, and am incredibly thankful I've never had to use it.
5. Jump-start a battery. DPLPLMDM... Dead Plus Live Plus Live Minus Dead Minus. I've rescued more than a couple people!
6. How to change a flat tire. Yes. And I would add to this... learn how to put on tire chains.
7. How to drive stick. That was all I drove for decades. I can probably remember how.
8. Exercise alone without any equipment. I know how... I just don't want to.
9. Learn and appreciate the power of compound interest. And I would add to this... learn about how absolutely deadly credit card interest can be and how to stay out of credit card debt whenever possible.
10. Have a basic understanding of how taxes work. It's shitty that this is even a fucking requirement because taxes should be simple as hell. But... we got all those loopholes to save millionaires and billionaires money, so we have to make taxes difficult for everybody so they might end up spending more than they should!
11. How to sew a button. Or, you know, how to sew period. And if you can use a sewing machine, you're much better off than not knowing how. Sewing machines are cheap and repairing clothes can save loads of money. My grandmother taught me, and it's been so important that I've always own a good sewing machine.
12. How to iron a shirt. My mom did her best to teach me, and I'm okay at it. But, largely, I end up ironing in more wrinkles than I end up ironing out.
13. Restart a water heater. When I moved into my place and mine was failing, I learned this skill to avoid taking cold showers.
14. Ride a motorcycle. Why yes, and I loved it. Except it wasn't something my body was physically able to do any more, so I sold my bike and admire them from afar now.
15. How to cook a good steak and grill a good burger. I'm a vegetarian, so I think I'll skip this one.
16. Dice an onion. I know how they want you to dice an onion, but I am happier not doing it that way. I halve an onion, cut into the cut-edge both ways, then pop it on its side and cut the dices off. I am told this is not the safe way to do it, but if you have very sharp knives it's just fine.
17. Cook rice. I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS wash my rice. And I prefer to use a rice cooker. But I know how to use a pot too.
18. How to read a map. I haven't held a paper map since iPhones were invented, but I still remember how to read one, yes.
19. How to find north without a compass. My Apple Watch has a compass built-in, but it's a watch, not a compass, so does that count?
20. How to start and tend a good campfire. Thanks to endless episodes of Survivor, I know how to do that. But if I don't have matches or a lighter I'm probably screwed.
21. One solid party trick. I am entertaining enough that I can talk my way out of knowing a party trick. I've also been a lot of places and know a lot of things, which is probably more useful at an actual party.
22. One song on any instrument. I used to be able to play a little keyboard and piano. I am very, very rusty. But could probably manage Chopsticks.
23. One actually good long joke. I have stories that are probably better than any joke. Which I think is better because it's something personal.
24. Bowline knot. Noted.
25. Butterfly loop. Noted.
26. Sheet bend. Noted.
27. Taut line hitch. Noted.
28. Trucker's hitch. Noted.
29. How to give constructive feedback. Kinda my job(s) for the past 30 years or so.
30. How to give a good toast or speech. Did speeches for 18 years with the charity, so I got that.
31. How to memorize names. The three time memorization thing doesn't work for me and I'm terrible at this.
32. How to introduce two people. Something I've also done for 18 years with the charity.
33. How to politely decline offers. I am a little more tactful than saying "I don't want to do it," but yes... cosigned... I also tell the truth. Lying never works out for me!
34. How to put out a grease fire. Didn't everybody get told how to smother the flames with a lid or toss baking soda on it in school? I've got a massive bag of baking soda (and a fire extinguisher!) in my kitchen just for this purpose!
35. How to dress for a wedding. I wear a suit with open collar shirt every time... unless it specifically says "casual" or there's a request. And I never wear a tie unless suit and tie are requested.
36. How to dress for a job interview. As somebody who has hired numerous employees, this is entirely contextual and depends on the job you're interviewing for. When I was hiring designers, I didn't give two shits what they were wearing, all I cared about was that they were clean, for example.
37. How to dress for as an adult. Dressing like an adult is nothing more than dressing appropriately for the occasion. But, to be honest, I care more about comfort than fashion.
38. How to talk to strangers. If there's one thing I'd consider myself an expert on... it's this. I've always had this as a natural talent, and am so good at it that people hire me or request me to do it all the time!
39. How to lift things without hurting your back. Well, this is easier said than done for me. Especially now that I'm older and I once threw my back out when I turned to lock the front door of my house. Suffice to say that I've had back problems since forever, and "lifting with my legs" is not always something I can do.
40. How to disagree with others in a civil manner. Another part of my job and, in a professional setting, I'm quite good at it. This is a little tougher with dumbfucks on the internet or in social settings were people are ignorant and abusive. Then? I don't give a shit. I'm too old to care now.
41. How to receive compliments. I hate having to do this, but I've learned how to do it because it makes people uncomfortable when you can't.
42. How to learn how to do new things. Not tough to learn something that you love to do, and learning new stuff is one of my favorite things.

And if you enjoyed that, here's another recent one that I really liked. It's such a good idea for a video!

James, Zach, and Jesse also did crypto, which is hilarious... because this is what happens to the vast majority of people, all of whom think that they're going to be one of the very, very, very few who makes serious money at it...

I gotta learn how to do a good ol' pump and dump and get rich! Just like our president did with $TRUMP Coin!

The vilification of PBS is one of the most perplexing things I've ever seen.

In a world where kids are seen as nothing more than advertising dollars by television networks, PBS has been there to entertain and educate kids as kids. If PBS and public media were to start shuttering across the nation, it would be a terrible loss for Americans. If there's anything that I thought all Americans from any party would agree on... it's that PBS is value for the money and worth having. The money they get is such a pittance compared to the vast amounts of money being tossing left or right by our politicians. And yet... THIS?!?

I don't get it. I don't get it at all.

Turns out the second trailer for Project Hail Mary is even better than the first.

And, heaven help me, this may actually be the movie which has me heading to a theater come March...

I'm more than a little shocked that the trailers are spoiling some of the things from the book that were kinda designed to be a surprise... but it still looks fun enough that it may not matter.

I left Spokane on Sunday around 3:30. That gave me an hour of daylight before the sunlight was fading into darkness. Fading into the abyss.

Now, for the longest time, I loved night driving. It was calming and peaceful and, when I was younger, I did it a lot. Mostly while traveling around the United States because I didn't want to waste daylight driving when I could be seeing stuff.

Or maybe I liked it because the first driving I ever did was on my Atari 2600 with Night Driver...

But then... things started to change.

I was bordering on night blindness, where headlights (or any lights) would become a massive blight in my field of vision. I couldn't see. The amount of concentration required to drive safely was headache-inducing and I was genuinely worried I was becoming a danger on the road. And so I stopped driving at night. Completely. I couldn't justify the risk... not necessarily for myself, but for other people.

And it was fine. I could always get a ride with somebody else or pay for an Über or whatever.

Then, as I was having another surgery for my ongoing injury problems, I ended up getting my lenses replaced with cataract surgery (something I documented here). And even though I was told my cataracts weren't terrible and wouldn't need to be addressed for five years or so... I could suddenly see at night again! Night drivin' here I come, baby!

So I went ahead and drove home in the dark, it was perfectly fine, I could see great, there were zero issues.

At least when it comes to my vision.

Because there will always be assholes on the road, and that's something you can get fixed with cataract surgery.

Maybe a lobotomy, but not cataract surgery.

You know you're well past your prime when you see an ad which says "How to last longer in bed" and you're like... "I could use more sleep"... then continue reading and be like "Oh. Oh yeah."

Over the weekend I had a trip across the basin to Spokane. The drive is tantamount to torture because it's just hundreds of miles of mostly nothing. But in all honesty I don't really mind all that much. I can listen to music and think about stuff. A rare luxury in my crazy day-to-day life.

Where things took a very, very bad turn for me was about 50 minutes outside of Spokane when my iPhone stopped having data access. Thinking that, yet again, Verizon's shitty service was to blame, I shut down my iPhone and restarted it. Sometimes Verizon botches the cell tower hand-off, and this is the only way to get data working again.

Except it didn't fix anything.

Another power-down and restart. Then another. Then another. Still nothing.

This put me into a bit of a panic because I didn't know which hotel I was staying at. Unlike the good ol' days when I would print out my reservation before travel, now-a-days I rely on the fact that Apple Maps would see I had a hotel reservation from the email confirmation I received and ask me if I wanted to go there when I blew into town.

Not this time.

When I say "I didn't know which hotel I was staying at," that's not 100% the truth. But it might as well have been. I knew I was staying at "The Davenport" but considering there's like... I dunno... ten of the fuckers in Spokane, and all of them are named "The Davenport Autograph Collection" (or what-the-hell ever), I had no idea where I was going.

And so I drove to the one I stayed at the last couple times. I hadn't a clue if it was the correct one, but I assumed they could tell me where to go if I was at the wrong property. But I didn't have to go to that much trouble, because my phone connected to WiFi after I parked. Turns out, yes indeed, I was at the wrong hotel. So I left to drive to the correct one. Except the ticket machine at the garage wanted to make me pay $7.95 for the 5 minutes I was there. Fortunately I was able to explain my predicament to the valet who let me go.

But fate wasn't done with me yet!

Somehow Apple Maps didn't load everything off the internet while I was at the parking garage. Which meant I was, once again, not knowing where to go. Fortunately I've been to Spokane many times and was able to figure it all out, but not after I had to drive around the block to look for the self-park garage entrance.

le sigh

Must have been time for a beer and my favorite pizza on earth...

Don't worry... half of it was road pizza for the drive home the next day

After my early dinner, I was wiped.

But it was only 5:30pm, and I knew better than going to bed so early that I'll be waking up at 2:00am. Not that this would be anything unusual in my declining years, but this time it wouldn't be waking up to go to the bathroom. Probably.

It's dreary and raining buckets here, but I'm not going to let that get me down... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Dating! I know. I know. Playdate got savaged in the reviews and is generally considered a bad movie. But I loved it! Alan Ritchson's character is hilariously random...

This is the kind of off-the-wall stuff that makes Amazon Prime worth the price of admission.

   
• NEWSFLASH: Pasta at Twice the Price? Some Italian Producers Face Huge U.S. Tariffs. If I could find bronze-extruded, slow-dried pasta that was American made... then great. I'd buy it. Happy to purchase American if the quality is good. But I ain't going to buy shitty teflon-extruded, rapid-flash-dried crap that won't hold sauce and is just a slippery gawdaful mess. I'd eat half the pasta... but I'd gladly pay twice the price to get something good.

   
• FedExSNL! This morning I popped in my DVD of Feds, a film from the 1980's which is so much better than it had a right to be. Mostly because the leads were so flawlessly cast...

And I was like "I wonder what Mary Gross is up to now?" But could find nothing current until I found a podcast interview, which was quite a treat!

   
• Hand Me That Paperclip! ZOMG! MACGRUBER IS ON THE EPSTEIN LIST?? I was such a fan. But no more!

UPDATE: Somehow, something has gone terribly wrong with the Saturday Night Live YouTube Channel... videos from the past five months have disappeared? Bummer.

I lie. I still think MacGruber is one of the funniest SNL characters, and I loved his movie and limited series. I'd love to get more of that, but if Will Forte is going to pop by Saturday Night from time to time to keep the character alive, I can be happy with that.

   
• Death of a Penny! Does ANYBODY who's whining about the US Penny ending know how rounding even works? Amount ending in 1¢ or 2¢... round down. For example, you're paying out of your piggy bank and something costs 52¢ but neither you nor the store has any pennies, so you pay 50¢ — But for an amount ending in 3¢ or 4¢... round up. For example something costs 54¢ then you pay 55¢. In the end, the odds are 50/50 that something will go up or down and, given the value of a penny now-a-days, nobody is getting rich off rounding. BUT LISTEN TO PEOPLE GOING ABSOLUTELY MENTAL... "BUSINESSES WILL LOSE MONEY!" And it's like... yeah... 50% of the time they will lose 1 or 2 pennies. BUT THE REST OF THE TIME THEY'RE GAINING 1 or 2 PENNIES! And how many people are paying cash any more? Apparently it's enough that BUSINESSES WILL LOSE MILLIONS! Except to lose one million dollars, you'd have to come up short 100 million pennies in rounding transactions. Okay, boomer... I'll take not wasting money minting coins that are worth less than they cost to make. As for those states which "don't allow rounding"... guess they'll have to fix that. — As for me? I'M MORE UPSET THAT WE'RE LOSING THE HAVE A PENNY GIVE A PENNY, NEED A PENNY TAKE A PENNY TRAYS! BLASPHEMY! THE END OF DAYS ARE NIGH! TODAY NO MORE PENNIES... TOMORROW PAYING WITH THE MARK OF THE BEAST! BET! Guess we're just going to be another penniless third-world country. Like Canada.

   
• Edo! A video from nine years ago which I had never seen popped up this week. It was on the history of Japan, which fascinates me anyway, but this was by Bill Wurtz, whom I was a big fan of back in the day. Which is why I was so shocked that I had never seen it...

If you want a different take on Japanese history which is half as fun but twice as long, here you go...

   
• Ugly! I will not call anybody "ugly" based on their appearance. That's a pretty shitty thing to do. But I don't hesitate calling somebody "ugly" when it comes to what they show us that's on the inside. In that respect, Kim Davis is one of the most butt-ugly, awful excuses for a human I've ever seen. She wants to "preserve the sanctity of marriage" by refusing to do her job of granting marriage licenses... all while having been through multiple divorces and so-called scandalous behavior around those marriages herself...

It's like having a job at a steak house and refusing to serve meat because you're vegan in public, but you eat steak at home. Hypocrisy 101. If the job isn't suitable for you or your so-called beliefs, THEN FIND ANOTHER JOB... LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE DOES. But no. This repugnant pile of heinousness wanted the Supreme Court to give her license to shit on other people's happiness when the PURSUIT of happiness is SUPPOSED to be in this country's DNA. You did what made YOU happy when it comes to marriage(s), so let other people have that too. Or get fucked and go away. That works too.

   
And on that shiny note of perspective... enjoy the last of your weekend.

I have a very long day ahead of me, so let's get to it!

I will invite Jenny to smell whatever she wants to, including any food I might be eating, because she's just being curious. She is picky about whatever stinky cat food I give her, and has zero interest in anything that doesn't stink like fish strongly enough.

Jake, on the other hand, is also curious... except he will eat just about anything. So the only food of mine he's allowed to smell are things I know he won't eat. Like applesauce. For everything else, I just move it away from him and say "Mine!" which he understands perfectly. Once he hears me say that, he stops seeing how close he can get to my food, and sits down and watches me eat it. Very carefully.

Sometimes I will set the plate down in front of him if there's a tiny piece of cheese or a small smear of mayonnaise on there he can eat which won't cause major problems. But it's a rare thing.

Not because I don't want him to have it... but because boy oh boy is he a beefy bear now. Over 17 pounds, because he's forever digging into Jenny's leftovers. It's starting to worry me enough that I've been hovering over the cats while they eat, then I'll jump in and remove Jenny's food when she's done eating it. I mean, just look at my chonky little bear when photographed from behind...

Still a handsome kitty though...

And because I've got another very long day ahead of me tomorrow, I think it's time for beddy-bye.

The charity organization I volunteered with... along with the traveling I've been fortunate enough to experience... has shown me exactly what hunger looks like. I've seen starvation first-hand. And it was enough to have me confident enough to say that nobody with a shred of decency should wish that upon anybody.

If you've seen it yourself, you wouldn't even wish it on those you proclaim to hate.

At least I would hope to God that you wouldn't, because it's horrific.

The first time I met starving children I died inside. Until that moment, "starvation" was an abstract concept. People say they're "starving" when they skipped lunch or show up late to a dinner party. "Starvation" is a news headline about something that happens to Other People. Except it's actually neither of those things. It's a brutal condition which should never, ever be acceptable to anyone with a heartbeat. People should never starve anywhere. This planet has the resources, technology, and knowhow to make starvation a thing of the past.

If there's one thing... ONE THING... that humanity should come together and agree on, despite all our differences, it's that regardless of whatever other tragedy people are enduring... they will not have to worry about starvation.

It doesn't matter if you're at war with a people. They will not have to worry about starvation.

It doesn't matter if you don't have the resources to feed them yourself. They will not have to worry about starvation.

It doesn't matter if what god they pray to is different, what color their skin is, how they live their lives, who they love, or whether you love them or hate them personally. They will not have to worry about starvation.

It doesn't matter if you need political leverage and withholding food is on the table. They will not have to worry about starvation.

And to anybody... ANYWHERE, regardless of your politics, beliefs, or what-the-fuck-ever excuse you may have, disagrees, then fuck you.

Fuck you sideways.

You don't get to speak to me on a subject from which you are so obviously willfully ignorant. Because not one person who understood what real hunger looks like could possibly disagree. Unless they are a complete and total monster. Which means their "opinion" on any of this doesn't fucking matter in the first place.

Look, people can think whatever they want about how Zohran Mamdani is either going to save NYC or destroy it. It's not for me to say, because I don't live there.

Personally all I care about is that he wields his power with compassion, makes good choices, and doesn't give in to the temptation to take resources for himself and other powerful people at the expense of people who are struggling. I wish only the best for New Yorkers and hope they give Mamdani a chance and work with him to make their lives better. I hope we all win.

THAT. BEING. SAID.

I believe that to understand a language is to understand the people who speak it. It also gives you a better understanding of people whose languages you don't speak because you know that other peoples and other cultures exist, and they are all uniquely beautiful in their own way. Because Mamdani speaks seven languages (Arabic, Hindi, Kiswahili, Urdu, Luganda, Spanish, and English) I think it reflects very well on him, and gives us a big clue that he's going to to truly represent all the people of New York City. Not just the people who voted for him. Not just the party he runs in. Not just those who shares his faith. Everybody. New York City is everybody...

As a side note, dang do I love seeing the passion he puts in when talking TO people instead of THROUGH people or AT people, as so many politicians do. Best of luck to you sir. Best of luck to New York City.

After dinner I was still hungry.

So I went through my refrigerator and my cupboards trying to figure out what I wanted to eat. Eventually I landed on a bowl of cereal. Except I was out of my all-time favorite for forever, Captain Crunch Peanut Butter, and had to grab the box I got on sale in my last grocery order, Cinnamon Toast Crunch. This is a cereal that I can eat, but it's never been the home run that other people tell me it should be. This is everybody's favorite breakfast cereal, but to me it's kinda just okay.

So I chowed down on my kinda just okay cereal while watching YouTube videos, where I ran across this gem...

Which lead to this gem...

Which lead to this gem...

And now I want an otter.

Or a pizza, because the kinda just okay cereal didn't do it for me.