I've mentioned dozens of times how I love a really good ad. The problem is that most advertising is utter shit. Television ads are mostly done on the cheap and are so brain-dead annoying as to make me actively want to not purchase the product being shoved at me.
Last night I ran across the old commercial from 2015 which made me laugh. It's not like Fiat spent a ton of money on it... instead they were just really, really clever...
If you can't make an ad which gets some kind of reaction... ANY kind of reaction... then you've failed.
This Fiat commercial is going to stick with me a while. Meanwhile, I couldn't tell you what ads I watched today.
Josh Johnson is fascinating to me.
The thing that's so brilliant about his comedy is that he can take these wild tangents that make you think he's losing his train of thought... and then BLAM! He brings it all back around to punctuate his point in a brutal cut...
Anybody can be observational of the absurd. Josh isn't telling you anything that anybody who paying attention could say. But it's what he does with the observations which makes him rise above.
This is a really great piece.
I loves me some donuts. And, yes, I spell it "donut" because "doughnut" looks weird to me for some reason. Even though I think the the latter is the way most people seem to spell it.
But anyway... I was chatting with a friend and mentioned how thankful I was that my grocery delivery didn't substitute the box of chocolate-glazed old fashioneds I had ordered like they usually do because they're always sold out. That lead to a discussion about the best donuts we've ever eaten. After which I made a list.
It was actually pretty easy to toss out my ten favorite because they were my most memorable when I put "donuts" in my head...
AND NOW THE DONUT I EAT MORE THAN ANY OTHER... Chocolate-covered old-fashioned donuts from Franz Bakery Yes, these are mass-produced store-bought, but they are phenomenal... almost to the level of Donut Vault. Their old-fashioned donuts are already amazing, but with chocolate on them? Mind-blowing. The crispy glaze is still there giving them a bite and texture that is tough to beat. If you are in the Pacific Northwest and don't want to trek to a local bakery, this is the one to beat...
I can't be having loads of sugar, so I'm not downing the entire box in one sitting, of course.
But I'd like to.
Thanks to the absolute madness that is Daylight Saving Time, I get a week of cat anger as they adapt to the time change, but I'm not in a panic yet... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• NEWSFLASH: Lay’s Rebrands Because Customers Apparently Didn’t Know Chips Were Made With ‘Real Potatoes’. Because of course. They haven't had "Potato Chips" on the package since 2007... and I guess those potatoes on the package aren't a big enough clue. That being said, the Lay's rebrand is gorgeous. Kinda. The new logo typeface looks fresh while honoring what came before. The banner is so much better, looking like a design element instead of a weird merging with the sun(?) behind it. And, yep, it IS a sun, because now they have nice rays behind it. Perfect. And I love the wood table look of the background...
BUT THEN... they just take random photo elements and glop everything to the logo unit? What a mess...
AND COULDN'T THEY HAVE STAGGERED THE POTATOES A LITTLE BIT??? OR RE-THINK THE PHOTO ELEMENTS COMPLETELY? WHAT DESIGNER JUST STICKS EVERYTHING TO THE LOGO LIKE IT'S A GAME OF KATAMARI DAMACY??? ACK! ACK! ACK!
Lay's created a gorgeous new logo then sabotaged it utterly. Those chips don't even look like chips (they look more like Pringles) and the potatoes are smaller than the chips they spawn? And because the taters are evenly placed, they look like a new design element which distracts the eye from the logo... they look like boobs on the bag or something? What were they thinking? This is a gorgeous treatment that is completely ruined by the photo elements being badly chosen and badly placed. Blergh. Such a missed opportunity.
• Property Brothers! BWAH HA HA HAAAAA. Things like this are when Saturday Night Live shines...
Biting satire that's funny because it's true. This is our reality.
• Precious Development?!? Parents are free to make decisions about their kid all they want. I mean, I draw the line when they are endangering the child but, for the most part, you do you when it comes to decisions about your own child. But this is abhorrent...
Fuck you and your Rainbow Bright face glitter shit. If you don't provide the teacher with alternative treats, what is the teacher supposed to do? Give everybody a treat EXCEPT your kid? How pissed off would you be then? It's entirely different if a kid has a peanut allergy and he was given peanuts. But a ring pop? To which she supplied no alternative? Like the teacher is supposed to go out and buy every alternative her class might require ON TOP OF the ring pops she already spent HER OWN MONEY on?!? Get fucked.
• Dear Deere! Another must watch video. "Why can't people repair the things they buy?" Because companies love money. iPhone broken? It can't be repaired by anybody but Apple or it gets bricked. McDonald's ice cream machine broken? Can't be repaired by anybody but the manufacturer or else you get sued (which is why they're always broken). Tractor broken? Can't get it repaired by anybody but John Deere because it's locked behind the software paywall. Spend a half-million dollars on a piece of John Deere equipment? You don't own it. They do. You're just paying for the right to license it. This is all kinds of fucked up, but corporations own the government, so they can do whatever the fuck they want to...
You don't own shit even if you pay for it. And lobbyists will keep spending billions to own politicians to keep it that way. God Bless 'Murica. But there is hope. "Right to Repair" laws are becoming a reality because politicians are being called out for their bullshit. More and more people need to speak out against this crap so that politicians will have no choice but to listen.
• Pepita Perfect! Last night I made one of my most favorite dishes: butternut squash ravioli in browned Kerrygold butter, crispy fried sage, toasted pepitas, and black peppercorns (which have been ground with a dash of nutmeg)...
I really need to buy a pasta roller so I can make my own though. Rana makes some good stuff, but I would prefer it without the orange color, as God intended, so it looks more appetizing instead of an orange blob. But anyway… a simple dish that’s also a bit complex in flavor.
• I HAVE TURBO PENIS! Yes, it happened to me! Lord how I love these debunk videos. Nobody does a takedown like Professor Dave. This should be mandatory viewing so that people understand how fucking stupid anti-vaxer "leaders" are...
The VAERS examination had me howling. How do people get duped by these idiots? It makes me crazy. We are losing herd immunity because people actually listen to these moronic douches.
• Men HATE This! GAG!!! I'm of the opinion that people should feel free to wear whatever the hell they want to wear. If you like it and it's comfortable and you can afford it... go for it. Nobody else has to approve. Nobody else's opinion matters. They aren't wearing it... you are. Which is why when I ran across this condescending gatekeeping asshole's YouTube channel, I couldn't roll my eyes hard enough. It's one thing to offer suggestions as to what people should consider wearing... it's quite another to pass judgement in the most immature and idiotic way possible. I mean, just look at these thumbnails...
She has very serious opinions as to what you're allowed to wear when you're over thirty. I'd argue that some could say that a woman over 35 shouldn't be wearing belly shirts as she's often seen doing... but I'm not a sanctimonious douche who spends my time gatekeeping clothing for views. Especially when you're acting like a fucking ten-year-old. An adult would realize that some people have to wear whatever they can afford... or whatever they're handed. So making fun of them or condemning them is a dick move. As it is when you make fun of people for wearing what they like.
• NEWSFLASH: RFK Jr. concedes administration lacks scientific evidence on Tylenol claims. OF COURSE THERE ISN'T ANY EVIDENCE, YOU STUPID FUCK! And yet you had the president announce to the world that Tylenol "causes autism." What kind of idiotic shit is running through your worm-riddled brain that you are so confident in spreading this crap misinformation? What kind of idiotic shit is running through President Trump's dementia-riddled brain that he believes your nonsense instead of ACTUAL FUCKING SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH?!? Christ, I hate living in the stupidest fucking timeline.
And now back to spending an extra hour of my Daylight Saving day.
This morning I was awakened by Jake hacking up a hairball on the bed. He's been sleeping with me most every night, usually passing out at the blanket I have folded at the foot of the bed. All I could do was say "Good bear, you're puking on the bedding on bedding wash day!"
After wiping up the hairball and stripping the bed to toss everything in the washer, feeding the cats breakfast, and heading back up to get some work done, it started pouring down rain. This caused Jenny to run into the closet to hide, and Jake to hop up on the bed to snuggle up next to me...
And, oh yeah, now that it's colder out I unpacked the warming pads...
This makes them two very happy cats, even though you can't really see it on Jenny with her adorable resting bitch face.
Jake doesn't have a resting bitch face. But he does have a snaggletooth. Some of the time. But lately I've noticed that it's out of his mouth more and more... looking longer than it has in the past...
Weirdly adorable, I think.
This year I had a whopping 16 trick-or-treaters. 2024 was 56, 2023 was 60, 2022 was 45. It was sprinkling rain off-and-on, so maybe that's why. Oh well. More candy for me. Not that I should be eating bags and bags of candy at my age, but maybe if I just eat one piece two pieces six pieces a day it will all be fine.
And now, this... something I posted on Facebook a few hours agao
As we yede into All Hallow's Eve, a blessing from me to thee...
Maye thy trick-or-treaters be sparse so the candy bounty left for thee be heavy.
Maye thy pets be not alarmed by the many intrusions unto thine house.
If the weather be not pleasant, maye it not intrude upon thy home when thou openest the door.
Maye wicches and devels and the foul forces of the orange satan passe thee by, and blessyngs be upon thee and thyn this night.
Amen.
It's tough to have Halloween without thinking back to nine years ago when I very foolishly scheduled a colonoscopy for November 1st ("We're wide open, so you can have whatever time you like!"). Which meant I had my clean-out on Halloween. When I was trying to pass out candy to trick-or-treaters. And having to sit on the toilet every five minutes. What I remember most is not wanting to get anybody sick with pink eye or whatever, so I was washing my hands as usual, but in scalding hot water before grabbing the bowl of candy. My hands were raw for days. Which was worse than the colonoscopy. But not worse than the clean-out, of course.
Today was payday! After turning out the lights at 9:00pm as the rain picked up, it was time to place a grocery order for tomorrow morning.
I am single.
I don't eat a lot.
I am vegetarian so I don't buy expensive meats.
I grocery shop frugally. Very frugally... only buying things that are on sale, and I purchase a lot of in-store brands instead of name brands.
Doesn't matter.
I just bought groceries for the next two weeks... the total was $206 ($12 over what I should have spent because I splurged and bought two packages of "fresh" pasta and a box of donuts, all at discount). My savings from shopping sales and special offers was $83. Meaning that the retail price for feeding one person with a low food intake for half a month is $289.
For half a month!
How can a family of four afford to eat any more? What happened to "lower grocery prices on Day One?" This is fucking abhorrent. People are having to use credit cards to finance food to eat while grocery store chains rake in billions of dollars in profit. People are going hungry while the government is financing multiple private jets, ugly million dollar marble bathroom renovations, and an even uglier golden ball room to entertain the millionaires and billionaires that own them.
How the fuck are people okay with all this? We've been completely sold out while the people who represent us rake in billions of OUR MONEY. It's all grift and scams from here on out.
Happy Halloween. For the USA it's 100% trick and 0% treat.
It's the busy time of year for me! I start work at 4:30am, head into the office at 8:30am, then head back home at 3:30pm, grab something to eat, then work until I fall asleep.
The problem is that I am so exhausted when I go home to eat that every little thing feels like too much effort. Just look at the number of times I dreaded having to do something menial...
But anyway...
Eddy is back, and this time he's entering psychosis with CHATGPT...
How does this not scare the ever-loving shit out of people? He did this for fun, but you just know there are thousands upon thousands of people going through this for real.
I have turned off every AI option I can find on all my devices and have done what I can to eliminate AI with the services I use (including Google, where you can search with "-ai"). I do this not just because it's rarely helpful and a waste of time, but also because I don't want to contribute to AI farms stealing resources and destroying lives.
Maybe AI can destroy my life so I can stay in bed tomorrow.
The Japanese Prime Minister having to corral an obviously confused and forgetful President Trump reminds me of having to corral my mom when taking her to appointments as the dementia was taking hold.
I'm going to say the same thing to Republicans propping up President Trump that I said to Democrats propping up President Biden... "He clearly doesn't have the mental capacity left to run the country, so stop being cruel." Intentionally putting them into situations which confuse and embarrass them is just plain mean. And dangerous.
Obviously the protocol for this meeting would have been explained to the president before they entered the hall. He clearly forgot about all of it and wandered around. Just like he shook the hand of Emperor Naruhito instead of bowing. A heinous breach of protocol. And if you know even the tiniest bit about Japanese culture, you'd understand how seriously embarrassing this is for everybody involved.
Republicans are trying to spin this as "America not bowing to any nation." But that's not what this is. When you visit a country you acknowledge their customs. It's just being respectful. And Trump obviously didn't have a problem bowing to the King of Saudi Arabia to receive a medal... but here we are.
Can you even fathom what the Right Wing media would be saying about President Biden if he wandered off confused like this? Oh, wait... no need to speculate... we already saw what they said about Biden over every little thing that even hinted at diminished mental capacity. Telling us over and over he was unfit to lead. So where is that concern now? It's obviously warranted.
And much needed.
He's testing nuclear weapons without any understanding of what the fuck he's doing, for Christ's sake.
It has been really difficult to get through my work day when I'm checking the news every 15 minutes to see how Jamaica is faring.
Last night I looked through my photos of Ocho Rios and Dunn's Falls Park from when my mom and I visited. There's no photo of my mom where she's not smiling. Jamaica kinda has that vibe. Such welcoming, kind people you can't help but be happy.
Really worried about how the people and animals are faring in the face of such destruction. They say the storm is losing intensity, but is still rated Category 5.
I've been holding this post for a couple days because I was debating whether to say something or not.
I finally decided to say something.
Do not be these people. By heading to Jamaica where you'll be using up valuable resources needed to help people who will have lost everything, you're just being a terrible person. You can get a refund on your ticket during emergency situations like this, so why?
I really hope this is fake.
In which case it's probably worse because you are making fun of people who will have lost everything.
Why are people like this? Empathy and decency are becoming a thing of the past.
As I write this at 5:30am, I'm taking a break from working on spreadsheets all morning. It's a lot of cutting and pasting in really confusing ways, and my brain is having a tough time dealing.
So I wander through the internet for a few minutes to decompress.
And really wish I hadn't done that.
The first thing I check on is Hurricane Melissa. And the news is not good at all...
I’ve only been to Jamaica once. Some of the nicest, most welcoming people I’ve encountered. Worried for them and all the animals on the island. I cannot even fathom how catastrophic this could be for the island. All I can do is hope that everybody tries the best they can to stay safe and save their pets.
Then I run across the news that Dear Leader's Administration has no plan whatsoever to continue SNAP (food stamps) benefits on November 1st.
I will never in a million years understand the willingness of politicians to play games with people's lives. Have your differences. Debate your positions. Do whatever you do when you're not sucking on lobbyist teats. But to take away food from people? In what universe is this some kind of bargaining chip?
People will fight for a fetus with the passion of a million burning suns. But once those fetuses to grow up to become hungry kids? "Fuck 'em!"
For the millionth time... children are victims of circumstance. They have no control over whatever situation they might be trapped in. Including hunger and poverty. Of all the things I am perfectly okay with my tax dollars going towards, feeding hungry kids in the wealthiest nation on earth is somewhere at the top of the list. I know way too many Americans don't seem to give a shit about helping starving kids abroad, but here in our own house? Where is the "America first!" crowd NOW? And exactly who the fuck are these assholes in government serving that this is even on the table? This is not a Republican or Democrat issue. This is a humanitarian crisis.
Alas, we seem to be fresh out of humanity in these United States of America.
What a way to start the week.
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