Here's the thing... even the "cheap" Walt Disney World resorts are expensive. That being said, they're also decent accommodations where even the least expensive of them are clean, comfortable, and safe. On top of that, all Walt Disney World resort hotels have a few nice perks (like early-entry to the parks, free transportation, and 7-day Lightning Lane pre-booking... plus Deluxe Resorts also get extended park hours some days). This is a far cry from what you used to get with a Disney resort stay (my favorites being having your purchases sent back to your room and the free Magical Express bus from the airport direct to your hotel), but it's better than nothing, and I still prefer to stay on-site than not.

Thanks to my many years of having work in Orlando, I've actually stayed at all but three of the resorts. Granted, this was years ago, so many of the ongoing remodels have been lost on me... but I can comment on what I experienced at the time. I know that most people would separate out the "Villas," "Bungalows," "Towers," and whatever other "Vacation Club" extensions they keep adding to the resorts, but I've not stayed at any of them so I won't (though I have stayed at Saratoga Springs, a DVC resort).

But first, a warning... these resorts are huge and there are many different types of rooms and locations for rooms. So my experience might not be your experience. Plus Disney is remodeling and changing things all the time, which means my experience may not even be relevant any more!

Before I get to my rankings, I should also disclose that there's three properties I haven't stayed at...

• Old Key West Resort (DVC-DELUXE $$$$). It's a Vacation Club property, which doesn't mean I can't stay there... I just never ended up there because it wasn't on the roster I was on. There are Vacation Club members who made this their home property and love it, so it definitely has its fans.
• Riviera Resort (DVC-DELUXE $$$$). This is the newest hotel in the most magical place on earth and I have zero desire to stay there. Looks like a big, boring cracker box of a building that could be a hotel anywhere. I'm sure it's been randomly farted on with Disney IP (intellectual property), but it's just not interesting enough for me to bother. If I was still working in the area I'd probably end up here eventually, and I'm sure the rooms are amazing, it's just not the experience I want when staying at WDW. Maybe I'll go if the restaurants have good word of mouth?
• Shades of Green. This is an "Armed Forces Recreational Center," which means you have to be an active member of the armed services or have retired from service to even step foot on the property. I think there are special exceptions beyond that, but it's things like being discharged yet having earned a Purple Heart or having been a Prisoner of War or having otherwise suffered serious injury or been disabled in combat. There may be other ways, but they're all military-related and off-limits to me.

And now for my rankings...

The Wilderness Lodge in 1997 from a photo I shot while boating on Bay Lake!

1. Wilderness Lodge (DELUXE $$$$$). The first Disney World hotel I stayed at, and is still my favorite. Easily the best theming of any property, I love the design of absolutely everything this hotel has to offer. It's like staying in a grand lodge in the Pacific Northwest... in Florida. I love the rooms with their woodsy aesthetic and spacious accommodations. The only downside is that the restaurants, which used to be my absolute favorite, are now sub-par for vegetarians. And what's worse, you can't really work with the servers or kitchen to accommodate your specific needs like you used to because so many of the dishes have components that are pre-made. I wish the top-tier resorts would go back to being more flexible in their food options, because the "efficiency model" they're running is killing the dining experience for people like me. But, yeah, the primo location, the beautifully appointed public spaces... and even the price, which isn't terrible (when compared to other Deluxe resorts near Magic Kingdom). I could stay here every time I not be disappointed.
2. Animal Kingdom Lodge (DELUXE $$$$$). This would likely overtake my top spot if not for two reasons... 1) You have to get a pricey Savannah View room to make it worth staying here... and 2) It is really far away from everything except Animal Kingdom. That being said, it was also designed by Peter Dominick (who designed the Wilderness Lodge) and is absolutely beautiful. The theming and details are all top-notch. Plus they have the best restaurants of any of the resorts. The only negative is the drumming. Cast members have drumming performances often. There's drums for kids to bang on. It's all drums all the time. I like it for atmosphere, but it's too much and get very, very tiring if you stay here for several days. But hey, if you can afford an amazing Savannah View room, there's nothing quite like seeing animals right out your window.
3. Polynesian Village Resort (DELUXE $$$$$$). To a great many people, this is their favorite resort in all of Disney World and I get it. Excellent theming. Great restaurants (Tonga Toast, baby!). Wonderful rooms. A killer location. The Polynesian has it all. Maybe if it was my first resort it would be my #1, but I just prefer the architecture and aesthetics of the Wilderness Lodge and Animal Kingdom Lodge. Still, this is an amazing resort... assuming you can afford the price tag. My biggest negative, and it pains me to say this because I absolutely love the movie, is that Disney has leaned hard into the Lilo & Stitch theming. I think it was a much more authentic and immersive experience before they did that. Then they slapped Moana on top of that! Still, if you've got the ungodly amount of cash required, I wouldn't miss an opportunity to stay here because it still has a lot of the magic that makes it such a great Walt Disney World resort. In many ways I'd say that this is the most "Disney" of the resorts they have.
4. Caribbean Beach Resort (MODERATE $$$). Back before Skyliner came, this was my #7 pick. But with the addition of a Skyliner stop (and nicely renovated rooms), this has become the best of the "moderate" resorts. Sure the bathrooms are cramped (which makes showering a chore) but otherwise the rooms are clean, fresh, and comfortable. Plus the atmosphere is expansive and laid back in a way that the newer, more expensive Riviera doesn't have at all. The only negative is that Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom can't be reached by Skyliner so you have to rely on busses which make many stops to cover the entire resort. We never had to jump to the more plentiful Riviera busses with their one stop (as some people do), but I guess that's an option if you don't mind a walk to get back to your room.
5. Pop Century Resort (VALUE $$). I liked this "value" hotel before it got a Skyliner stop, but now that it has one? It's very good. It's always been my go-to resort to recommend whenever people ask me where they should stay in Walt Disney World that's not crazy-expensive. It's still pricey, of course (all WDW rooms are), but it's got value for the money. Except for the restaurant, which is inexplicably not that great and extremely limited. That aside, the big downside here is that everybody knows how good it is so sometimes booking it can be rough. If that happens to you, I'd invite you to look at the Art of Animation resort that's just across the pond and shares many of the things that make Pop Century such a solid choice.
6. Port Orleans Resorts (MODERATE $$$). There are two sides to the Port Orleans portfolio, and I'd give the edge to French Quarter over Riverside, if forced to choose. This is because French Quarter has Sassagoula Floatworks and Food Factory Scat Cat's Club Café, where you can get authentic beignets! (apparently the beignets have moved?) It's also the smaller of the two and closer to where you want to be. As a "moderate" resort, the rooms are perfectly clean, comfortable, and serviceable... and I believe that I've stayed here more than any other resort over the years. I never minded. It's not too far from Epcot, which is my preferred dining spot, and is near Disney Springs and their restaurants as well. But most of all it's taking inspiration from my favorite American city, New Orleans, and gets some touches just right.
7. Beach Club Resort (DELUXE $$$$$). I've stayed here twice. The first time I stayed here was in a room that was odd in weird ways. I still don't know if it was a failed studio concept room or what, but it was a very different experience from my second stay which felt more "classic hotel." This hotel is an easy walk to Epcot (just 5 minutes!)... but also within reach of Disney Studios (about a 20 minute walk)... which is pretty sweet. And speaking of sweet, this resort is home to Beaches & Cream Soda Shop which is a fantastic place to not only treat yourself to all kinds of ice cream sweets, but also eat (their grilled cheese and tomato soup is great). The aesthetic is probably best described as "Great-Grandma's Bedroom" (but apparently they got refreshed recently, so I don't know what's happening there now). Probably the best thing about this place is the Stormalong Bay water park it shares with the Yacht Club next door. It's an attraction unto itself, and worth looking into if you like that kind of thing.
8. Saratoga Springs Resort & Spa (DVC-DELUXE $$$$). The reason I like this resort so much... what really sells me on the property... is that it's within walking distance of Disney Springs and all its many amazing restaurant options (the last time I stayed here I had a five minute walk to Earl of Sandwich!). It's also fairly quiet, not attracting families with kids like with other resorts because of its lackluster-to-non-existent Disney theming and location away from the parks. If you're looking for Disney "magic" you'd be hard-pressed to find it here. But for the rest of us (and especially those of us at WDW to work?) it's a solid, though expensive, choice with wonderful rooms plus great dining within the resort and outside of it nearby. Which is to say that the reasons I like it is why many people give it a pass, and that's okay.
9. Art of Animation (VALUE $$). I moved this up several notches because, like it's sister property Pop Century, it now has a Skyliner stop. When I stayed here it was fairly new, and was erected to take the place of the other half of Pop Century that was never finished and ultimately abandoned. The big feature of this hotel is that it has large "family suite" accommodations which can sleep six people. Myself and a colleague ended up splitting one of these suites and I gotta say it's pretty nice. There's a separate bedroom with its own bathroom, so parents have a way to escape the kids for a minute. If you're a larger family, this could be your best bet. Another claim to fame? It's apparently got the largest pool of any Disney resort property, if you're into that kind of thing. The down-side is that you get one restaurant and I wasn't at all impressed. I'd advise you to go across the lake, but the offering at Pop Century isn't much better.
10. Swan & Dolphin (DELUXE $$$$). I've only stayed at the Dolphin half, but I'm guessing it's pretty similar to the Swan half? I dunno. These properties are infamous for being non-Disney properties on the Disney property. I think Disney needed cash, so they took money from Marriott which allowed them a spot to build hotels which have the same benefits of a Disney Deluxe Hotel but at a lesser cost. And you do get serious good value for the money at these properties (better room for less!). Though it's not perfect. We went mini-golfing at Fantasia Gardens and took the Swan's bus back to Magic Kingdom. Except we had a very long wait before the bus arrived. We would have been better off walking to Disney Studios and taking their bus. This is a serious problem. I'm guessing the total time spent is no less than staying at an off-site hotel. So... more bang for your buck over similarly-priced Disney resorts. But ultimately lesser in important ways too.
11. Contemporary Resort (DELUXE $$$$$). Back in the day, this used to be a hotel that I was thrilled to be dropped in. It was smart, elevated, and beautiful. Plus it had a really good location when it comes to getting to the Magic Kingdom. But then... it started going downhill. The atrium keeps getting all kinds of crap shoved into it, needlessly distracting from the cool monorail run and gorgeous Mary Blair mural. This includes one of the worst restaurants in WDW, Chef Mickey's, which turned me off of eating buffets (except for Boma at Animal Kingdom Lodge, of course). It's trash despite costing over $50 for dinner and breakfast! Some of the rooms got an Incredibles makeover, which sounds seriously cool (seriously, the vibe of The Incredibles is a perfect match for this hotel), though I hear Disney did it on the cheap so it's not as good as it could have been. Regardless, some of the public areas are still pretty cool despite it all, and it's a classic resort that helped to define what it means to stay with Disney, so I'm not opposed to staying there. I just wish Disney would give it the love it deserves and make it be worth the cost to stay.
12. Coronado Springs Resort (MODERATE $$$). This is not a brilliantly Disney-themed property with a fabulous location... but I do like staying here because it was so perfect for my work needs. It's got nice rooms. It's quite. It's got a great size desk. Plus it's now got Toledo, a tapas restaurant that I would never tire of eating at. And if I ever do get tired of it, Epcot is right next door and a short bus ride to all their great restaurants. There were many questionable choices made when they built this property, but for the money it's a good choice to be on-site and get the dwindling benefits that a Disney hotel gets you. Plus they opened up the "Gran Destino Tower" (home of Toledo) which looks pretty great, especially for a "moderate" resort, so if this appeals to you, you might want to check into it.
13. Grand Floridian Resort & Spa (DELUXE $$$$$$$). This is THE premiere resort at Walt Disney World, and tops many people's lists at WDW for its luxury and opulence. And the rooms are nice, I guess... albeit a bit bland and not themed or utilized well. But luxurious? Not even. It's all done on the cheap. It's fake, and designed badly. To me it has the stylings of a brothel and the restaurants are overpriced and aren't great for vegetarians with options I didn't care for. It's just a big, faux-fancy, wildly-expensive hotel that happens to be close to Magic Kingdom, and I just don't get the love for it. The only thing I thought it did well was the activities, but are they worth the cost? No. If I was the one footing the bill for the one time I stayed there, I would have been pissed. I hear it's been updated recently... so maybe it's better now? Other than visiting during the holidays to get me some gingerbread, I rarely end up here even to visit.
14. Boardwalk Inn (and Conference Center) (DELUXE $$$$$). The whole concept of an old-timey hotel on a boardwalk is a great start. Add to that the easy walkability to both Epcot and Disney Hollywood Studios, and it's tough to beat a stay at the Boardwalk. Except... the resort feels way too expensive for what you get. Even the rooms overlooking the parking lot are pricey. But if you want a view of the boardwalk itself? Hope you got some serious cash on hand. Another ding to the property are the pools, which seem so weak compared to what you get across the lake at Beach Club (also a DELUXE). Overall this isn't a bad resort at all. I'd stay here in a heartbeat. But not at the money they're charging.
15. Yacht Club Resort (DELUXE $$$$$). Conceptually, this resort should place higher than the Boardwalk Inn above. But there's one thing that makes that impossible for me. It's frickin' boring. I'd far rather stay at the Beach Club next door because it feels more fun. Which is a shame, because it's definitely a pretty property. It's just that I expect something more exciting when staying with Disney. On the plus side, you do get access to the Stormalong Bay water park shared with the Beach Club.
16. All Star Music Resort (VALUE $). Full disclosure... I haven't actually stayed here. But I did crash here with a colleague when I didn't feel like finding my way back to the off-site Hilton after having too much to drink at the Victoria Falls Lounge (in the Animal Kingdom Lodge). That counts, doesn't it? The hotel is just so... basic... but you do get whatever perks are left when staying at a Walt Disney World resort, so that's about the best thing I can say about it. If you're on a tight budget but want Disney accommodations, this is an option for you.
17. All Star Movies Resort (VALUE $). This would be my dead-last choice because it's just so far removed from everything and it's older... but at least it was fairly quiet. If you are just looking for a basic, relatively cheap, no-frills hotel within the Disney Bubble, this will serve you well if your expectations are kept in check. I only stayed here once for one day and it was fine.
18. All Star Sports Resort (VALUE $). I'm not into sports and when I stayed here it was incredibly noisy. I needed to be able to work, and that was made far more difficult with a bunch of screaming kids running around (and not just little kids, a lot of older kids as well). I did my level best to not stay here because once was enough. Maybe if you're lucky enough to get a quiet stay it's good?

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... I've mentioned a few times how one of my most favorite things to do at Disney World is eat. I may not have always done attractions each time I had work there, but I did eat at the resort every single time. Not only are many of the restaurants, you know, actually good... they're also imaginative, unique, and fun too. Everything from a simple churro to a full-on gourmet meal can be had at the most magical place on earth, and they're all pretty easy to get to if you're staying there. Sure it can be an expensive prospect, but if you're careful it can be worth it.

My Top Twenty places to eat at Walt Disney World (that can accommodate my vegetarian diet and mostly don't force me into a buffet or fixed price menu) are here (keeping in mind that menus change, restaurants change, and all that... though I did try to double-check that if the name changed that I had the right place and food). Sorry if your favorite is not on here. Odds are it's just because I stopped going to WDW regularly in 2019 and have missed a lot!

1. La Hacienda de San Angel (Mexico Pavilion, Epcot) If you've ever been inside the pyramid in the Mexico Pavilion (likely to ride the Three Caballeros ride that's badly in need of a refresh... like what they did for Maelstrom when it became Frozen Ever After and is now a massive hit), you know how beautiful it is. Bathed in perpetual twilight as night is falling, there's a night market and restaurant that's lit up so beautifully. But the wonderful atmosphere would be worthless for a restaurant if the food sucked. Fortunately, the food is actually very good, and the drinks are top-shelf. On top of that, the staff works with you to have a great meal. I wasn't feeling the Huarache Vegetariano this time, so I asked if I could get the guacamole and chips without the meat and the Queso Fundido without the meat and our server was happy to accommodate me. That. along with their La Cava Avocado drink (which is sublime) and I was set for a fantastic dinner.
2. Tutto Italia (Italy Pavilion, Epcot). My favorite restaurant on the face of the earth is Alfredo's Alla Scrofa in Rome. They are one of two restaurants claiming to have invented Fettuccini Alfredo. The other one being Il Vero Alfredo, also in Rome. Back in the day, the Italy Pavilion at Epcot had a satellite location for Il Vero Alfredo, and it was a happy thing for me. Although some people didn't care for the place, I loved it and ate there many, many times. The restaurant closed in 2007 and was replaced by Tutto Italia. Not the same as the restaurant I loved, but still one of my favorite places to eat in Orlando. Their crispy potatoes, green beans, and pastas are all top-notch.
3. Spice Road Table (Morocco Pavilion, Epcot). Their hummus fries are to die for, and I have been known to show up and plow through three orders of them and nothing else (but they also have tiropitakia, naan with dips, and very good desserts). I wish there was a gyro/falafel quick-serve somewhere in World Showcase, but this will have to do.
4. Via Napoli (Italy Pavilion, Epcot). If you want pizza, this is your best option in the entirety of Walt Disney World. Imported ingredients from Napoli cooked into pizza that's about as authentic as it gets, and the price tag ain't cheap. They have non-pizza options, but not ones I can eat, so this gets knocked down a few pegs even though I eat here more often than Tutto Italia.
5. Toledo (Coronado Springs Resort Gran Destino Tower). This was the last WDW restaurant I ate at during my last pre-pandemic trip. I love tapas, and Toledo had some vegetarian options on the menu, so I gave it a shot by taking a trip to the (then) new Destino Tower at Coronado Springs Resort. The food will never take the place of eating tapas in Barcelona, but it was darn good fare, and I would absolutely eat there again.
6. Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater (Disney Hollywood Studios). While the food here is not spectacular, it is pretty good, and they are happy to make a veggie burger I can eat. But it's the amazing setting that makes this a truly special place to eat. Sitting in cars while you watch old movie trailers is fun, the staff is always great, and I have eaten here many times just for the experience of it all. This is how most restaurants in the Disney Bubble should be. An escape from the usual which is more than just the food you eat.
7. Boma (Animal Kingdom Lodge) The dining at AKL is an embarrassment of riches, and it starts with the Victoria Falls Lounge, which serves up tasty drinks (and amazing African-spiced nuts, if you're lucky). And that leads smack-dab into Boma. Yeah, yeah... it's a buffet, which I usually hate. But they always have many interesting and delicious vegetarian options, so I am willing to look the other way. The celebration of African dishes is fantastic, but if you have people in your party who are not that adventurous, there's some more standard options to be had. If you avoid buffets as I do, this one is an exception you should try.
8. Casey's Corner (Main Street, Magic Kingdom). Formerly I liked their veggie dog. But now I'm fixated on their Chicago-style veggie dog, which is how all hot dogs should be eaten anyway). Regardless, I'm just happy that they offer a veggie dog at all. Seating can be a struggle, but it's worth the hassle.
9. Kona Cafe / Captain Cook's (The Polynesian Resort) One of the things that makes the Polynesian Village Resort worth staying at (assuming you can afford the ungodly price) is that they have one of the best breakfast foods on the property: Tonga Toast! Which is banana-stuffed French toast that gets deep-fried. (I KNOW!) You can order it at two locations, but I'd go for Captain Cook's Quick-Serve because it's the same thing but significantly cheaper ($10.50 vs. $17.50!). Both restaurants have dinner options worth exploring too (except I've had better luck with vegetarian fare I like at Captain Cook's as well).
10. 50's Prime Time Café (Disney Hollywood Studios). They used to have a vegetarian shepherd's pie here years ago (at least I think it was here?) that I really enjoyed. But now it's just the tomato soup, cornbread, and apple crisp that has me coming back. Just like the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater, this restaurant is themed to what I can only describe as "grandma's house" where you have servers who are happy to tell you to keep your elbows off the table and eat all your vegetables. Yet another example of how restaurants in the Most Magical Place on Earth should be designed.
11. Sanaa (Animal Kingdom Lodge) The bread service and samosas are excellent, which tend to make me ignore the fact that you get one vegetarian option for an entrée, but it's always been a darn good option (currently a vegetable curry that I'm sure is amazing). As if that weren't enough, the desserts are killer, and I've come here a couple times just for a couple sides so I can have it!
12. Earl of Sandwich (Disney Springs). I used to love this establishment, but then they removed my beloved veggie sandwich and I avoided it. Then they put it back on the menu and I was thrilled to be able to eat there again. Premium ingredients and that incredible bread that's toasted so beautifully... it all adds up to an amazing meal. The fact that it's priced (relatively) reasonably is just the icing on the cake.
13. Jock Lindsey's Hangar Bar (Disney Springs) Back when "Downtown Disney" became "Disney Springs," this Indiana Jones inspired eatery was opened. While I still mourn the loss of Pleasure Island and its restaurants and clubs (especially the Adventurers Club), I have to say that the Hanger Bar isn't half bad. It's certainly got a lot of Easter eggs for people who remember Pleasure Island and are deep into the Indy lore. The food is inventive and fun with vegetarian options I can always enjoy.
14. Jungle Navigation Co. LTD Skipper Canteen (Adventureland, Magic Kingdom) Based on The Jungle Cruise across the way, this is a fun restaurant that gets largely overlooked (which is strange because it's so big). They have some interesting vegetarian salads and entrées that are worth a look at the menu when I visit.
15. Les Halles Boulangerie-Patisserie (France Pavilion, Epcot) If you like authentic French pastries and breads, this is the place. They also have sandwiches, but the vegetarian option bounces around so I never count on it being something I'm going to want to eat. But when it is? Magical.
16. Basket at Wine Bar George (Disney Springs). An off-shoot of Wine Bar George, which is a place that I avoid because I'm not a wine drinker, Basket has a limited menu with some fantastic treats to be found. I made a trip to Disney Springs just pre-pandemic to order some just based on word-of-mouth, and was not disappointed.
17. Sassagoula Floatworks and Food Factory Scat Cat's Club Café (Port Orleans Resort: French Quarter). Apparently the beignets have moved, but if they're the same thing in Mickey shapes (using the same recipe), then great. This used to be the only place in all of WDW to get beignets, but apparently since Tiana's Bayou Adventure opened you can also get them at Magic Kingdom, except I hear they are not authentic beignets like you can get at Port Orleans Resort, so your mileage may vary.
18. Garden Grill (Future World, Epcot) This restaurant features produce that was grown in The Land which is to say that you're guaranteed some nice vegetarian options. Everything is served "family style" which is to say that it's best when you have fellow vegetarians who can share in the options available. Unfortunately (or fortunately, if it's your thing) this is currently a "Character Dining" experience. Which I don't object to (truth is that it's a fun experience which you should want to have in Disney World)... but I do object to the absurd price tag which comes with that. This ain't a cheap place to eat. But it is all you can eat so I recommend going in hungry so you can get your money's worth! I remember it when it was called The Good Turn Restaurant because it's a rotating restaurant which has views of the Living with The Land attraction where the veggies are grown. The food is good enough that I go back when I'm with people who I know will enjoy it. Otherwise the cost makes it a pass.
19. Yak and Yeti (Animal Kingdom) This isn't the best restaurant when it comes to selection for vegetarians (let's face it, few restaurants in WDW are)... but what they do offer has always been great. The problem is that Animal Kingdom Lodge is so very close, and I'd rather eat at any of their restaurants, so I don't end up here very often.
20. ABC Commissary (Disney Studios) While not the most inventive place to eat, I have been here more than a few times because I know that there will be something interesting for vegetarians to eat. I've had good salads, sandwiches, and burgers here that were all worth a stop.

A Quick Note on Tusker House... Animal Kingdom's Wild Africa Trek tour is one of my favorite things to do in the park. It's a more intimate, close-up experience than you get with the regular safari attraction. And the highlight is always lunch out on the savannah, which is prepared by Tusker House. My vegetarian lunches have been CRAZY DELICIOUS all three times I've taken the tour. So good that I was compelled to find the source and eat there the next day. Unfortunately, it's a buffet (which I usually hate) and a Character Dining Experience (which means it's expensive) which is to say it's not quite what I was hoping for. To make matters worse, the vegetarian ("plant-based") selections were not all I was hoping for. Even so, I've eaten here a couple times after just because I love African dishes so much. I think that the experience would be a much better one if you eat meat, so I thought I should throw it out there.

And a quick note about that hot dog at Casey's Corner... After eating a veggie dog Chicago-style while visiting The Windy City, I have a tough time eating a hot dog any other way. Miraculously, one of the two veggie dogs on the menu at Casey's Corner on Main Street is a Chicago-style dog! No poppy seed bun, pickle, or sports pepper, but it's darn close...

I just wish that A) It arrived hot, and B) They would keep the mustard inside the bun so you can eat it with your hands and not make a massive mess. Otherwise? This is your dream dog if you're a vegetarian.

If I were to add a 21st place to my list, it would probably be Fairfax Fare (Disney Hollywood Studios). There are many places to eat Mickey Waffles (my second-favorite thing for breakfast after Tonga Toast), and usually I recommend having them at your Disney hotel so you get a place to sit down to eat them. But if you want to rope-drop an attraction, you want to bypass your hotel so you can stand in line for a ride first thing. Then you can go have breakfast in whatever park you're at. Problem is... a lot of times there's no available seating because a lot of people have the same idea. At Disney Studios, Fairfax Fare is a good choice because there's plenty of seating...

The problem for vegetarians is that the waffles come with bacon. If you're at the park with somebody who eats it, that's fine. But if you're not, then you can tell them to keep it... but they don't credit you a buck or two. You pay the same price. Also? No butter. Syrup only. Still, good stuff.

With all my positive things to say, surely there must be some negatives (other than the cost and the fact you need a park ticket to get to many of the restaurants)? Well, yeah. Sadly, most restaurants don't have many vegetarian/vegan options in the name of efficiency. If you like the option they have, you're golden. But if not, then odds are they can't accommodate you because most restaurants don't allow you to customize their dishes.

Another negative for me, at least, is that I occasionally get dragged to restaurants that are widely considered among the best in Walt Disney World only to end up disappointed. Victoria and Albert’s (The Grand Floridian) is grossly overpriced and I didn't enjoy the food at all (though it's also nigh impossible to get a reservation because it has a coveted Michelin Star, so this likely won't even be an option anyway). The Hollywood Brown Derby (Disney's Hollywood Studios) is a restaurant that I was excited to eat at... only to find that the menu was overtly vegetarian-hostile. And the one entrée on the menu I could eat had mushrooms that they couldn't remove so I ended up with tomato soup. I used to love The California Grill (The Contemporary Resort) because the vegetarian options were incredible. But the last couple times I ate there I didn't enjoy myself as much as the price tag should have provided and the menu wasn't as varied as it was years ago. And, lastly, it's a real bummer that my most favorite of all WDW resorts, The Wilderness Lodge, used to have my favorite restaurants. But Whispering Canyon Cafe won't work with you to create vegetarian meals, leaving you only the awful vegan options that use gross fake cheese and meats... and Artist Point has been converted to a Character Dining experience with mediocre vegetarian options that's a far cry from the amazing menu they used to have when it was a restaurant. There's no place for me to eat at my hotel of choice, which is hugely disappointing.

Another negative is that many of the cart snacks are bad (though some, like churros, are fine). One day at Epcot I was hungry and our dinner reservation was a ways off. So I decided to grab a Mickey Pretzel that comes with a tub of cheese. Boy are these bad. The pretzels are tough and chewy instead of fluffy inside with a thin chewy shell. And the cheese tub your get is gloppy and gross. They are cute though...

Also... almost all of the Disney pre-packaged snacks suck SO bad. I had a bag of Chip 'n Dale pretzels that were stale and gross and sat like a lump in my stomach for hours. I had a Micky Mouse marshmallow crispy treat that was not even remotely "crispy"... it was gummy, tough, and so disgusting that I couldn't eat all of it and had to throw it away. Do you know how bad something has to be at Disney World that I toss it? Especially when you have to pay a shitload of money for it? Just... no. Bring your own snacks to not only save a ton of money, but have something you know doesn't taste like crap.

So I'm not ending this entry on a down-note, I should reiterate that eating remains my favorite thing to do when visiting Walt Disney World. There's almost always a plant-based option on the menu, so all you have to do is look at a restaurant's offerings on the Walt Disney World website to see if it's a vegetarian option you might like. And usually there is, for me. Bonus points to those fine-dining establishments where the meals are not pre-made and they can actually work with you to come up with something you'll love. To me, that's the ultimate Disney dining experience!

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... Before discussing the Disney Skyliner we have to go back in time to talk about how both Disneyland and Magic Kingdom used to have a "Skyway" that ran between the far-West side of Fantasyland and the far-East side of Tomorrowland. That may seem like a waste because the "lands" are right next to each other, but it was actually a nice way to cover quite a distance on a crowded day. Literally half the distance of the park. Plus being able to have an aerial view of the park was fun. The Disneyland version even went through The Matterhorn which was especially cool.

Both Skyways were removed in the 1990's (along with the one that was in Tokyo Disneyland). There were all kinds of excuses given... too expensive to maintain and operated... metal fatigue for the posts that the wires ran across... sight-lines being ruined... or whatever. To me it was sad news because I always enjoyed the ride, and got to experience it at both USA parks.

So you can imagine my surprise when Disney announced that Walt Disney World would be getting a Skyway to help some resort guests get to the park? Branded "Skyliner," there would be stations at both Epcot and Disney's Hollywood Studios, which means two out of the four parks would be serviced. It would run directly to the Caribbean Beach Resort, the Art of Animation Resort, the Pop Century Resort, and the brand new ugly cracker box of a hotel... the Riviera Resort...

If it's easier for you to picture it on an actual parks map, here you go...

Map and Satellite Image © Google

I wanted to try it so I decided to stay at the Caribbean Beach Resort. I had stayed there before and enjoyed it, but that was before the Skyliner was built.

And there's not really much else to be said. Time for a recap...

The Bad...

1. Crowds. Despite the fact that the line moves fairly quickly, if you try to board after a popular event (like Luminous Fireworks in Epcot or Fantasmic! at Disney Studios) you will be waiting a while. There's not much Disney can do about it, but it's a big stopping point when it comes to usefulness.
2. Wraps (or lack thereof). Half the fun of getting on the Skyliner is seeing which Disney characters will be on the wrap around your bucket. And there are loads of different ones to be had. But... inexplicably... there's also buckets that don't have a wrap. They're just a plain color with no characters or art. And it's like WTF?!? Way to crush a little boy's dreams by giving him the most boring ride ever! Note: and by "little boy" I actually mean my inner child.
3. Hours. The Skyliner shuts down about an hour after the park's regular operating hours. Which is to say that if you have extended park hours, you will have to find another way home. And while I get it, this seems kinda weak. Why not extend the hours so that everybody can get home after the park actually closes?
4. Limited Network. Disney really needs to extend the network to more parks and places. Granted, this will likely increase wait-times to get on it, but it would make it a lot more useful to more people. And, if handled correctly, may even decrease times because more people would be able to be tied up in the network at the same time.

The Good...

1. Convenience. I requested a room near the Skyliner station and got put in the Barbados section. From there it was a quick walk to the station, and made getting to Disney Studios or Epcot a breeze because it was direct service (though you have a stop at The Riviera when going to Epcot, you don't have to get off). So incredibly convenient. Especially when you're trying to get there for your early-hour admission that comes with a Disney resort stay.
2. Speed. With no traffic or stop lights in your way, the timing is darn good once you board a bucket. Especially in the early morning where there's not much of a line and you can hop on without a wait.
3. Size. Unlike the old "buckets of death" that you'd find on the old Skyways, the buckets on the Skyliner can easily hold six people. This helps keep families together and can increase the capacity of the network so more people can get through it. This isn't treated like a "ride" it's more like a valid method of transportation.
4. Fun. I was onboard just as the fireworks were going off at Epcot and it was pretty cool to be able to look out and see what was happening as I headed back to my hotel for the night. Almost makes me wish I would have made an effort to time it better!

A second entry today as I live-react to the Apple Keynote "Glowtime" which was unleashed this morning (except I had to work so I am reacting after). No worries though... there's still some more Disney entries in the queue to finish out through Friday, but I didn't feel like waiting until next week when this entry is ready to go.

• Apple Watch 10: I’ve been begging for a thinner, lighter Apple Watch since Day One. So the Apple Watch 10 is right up my alley...

Except the blood oxygen tracking has been turned off because of the patent dispute mess Apple is in? I guess? I’d gladly upgrade, but not if this essential features are missing since that's a huge indicator of COVID infection. And also? Your color choices are Black, Silver, and Rose Gold. No Product(RED) color this time around. And look at these shitty, boring Sport Band colors! Holy crap what a morose and boring selection...

No thanks. I'll be sticking with my beautiful Product(RED) watch with the classy Product(RED) band. What a boring-ass design direction Apple is on. I hope this isn't a trend for the rest of the keynote, but I know better.

• Apple Watch Ultra 2: The version in black is gorgeous. And that titanium loop band is incredible. But the massive size of the thing (along with the heinous price) guarantees I’ll never be a customer.

• AirPods 4: I love my AirPods and use them all the time. All it took for me to upgrade from the originals (which I hated because they kept falling out) was the soft cushion cups in variable sizes that you get with the “Pro” model. And here we are again with the slippery hard plastic bullshit. I don’t give a shit how many ears that Apple “scanned” I will never buy any model which doesn’t have interchangeable soft cups to keep them in place.

• AirPods Max: I tried them. They were so fucking heavy and uncomfortable that I stuck with my Beats Pro (which would no longer charge after less than two years). Rather than addressing the comfort problem (and that absurdly stupid purse case), Apple just released new colors and updated the charging port to USB-C? WHAT THE FUCK?!?

• AirPods Pro: Oh boy. Health features. “Hearing Protection” is nice, but it shouldn’t take the place of proper protection, and I’m shocked Apple didn’t mention that AT ALL. — “Hearing Test” is a great idea though. Bravo. Though I have to wonder how accurate it is. Maybe it doesn't have to be, and is just accurate enough to let you know if you should seek help? — “Hearing Aid” is nice for people who need it, sure. But it seems profoundly weird that people would actually use these as hearing aids as shown in the keynote. Better to say that if you are already using your AirPods Pro, the hearing aid feature can help. I am confused if these are actually upgraded hardware... or if it’s just a new feature added to old models, which is what it sounds like? Dang does Apple need to pass these keynotes by a third-party to make sure they are understandable.

• iPhone 16: Everybody knew that "Apple Intelligence" (Apple's version of AI) would be a huge deal for future iPhone models, and here we are. And these non-Pro colors are absolutely gorgeous...

I am wondering for the millionth time why Pro customers don’t get colors like this? — The customizable “Action Button" has been a detriment to my iPhone Pro experience due to its placement. I keep hitting it when I think I’m pressing the volume-up button, because it's been in the top spot since forever. Apple put this button in a shitty fucking spot, and I wish they would have resolved that. But NOPE! Because this is Apple we're talking about. They stuck with that shitty fucking butterfly keyboard on MacBooks even after people complained and it wasn't until they started losing sales that they finally did something about that. — LOL! The new A18 chip name skips over A17 (which was used in the previous 15 Pro models) because marketing is dumb. — The display is still 60Hz? In the Year of Our Lord 2024?!? That is so frickin' embarrassing in a phone this expensive. It's the biggest flaw in an otherwise excellent phone.

• Apple Intelligence: ZOMG! CRAIG! WE LOVE YOU, CRAIG! I am leery of AI, including the Apple-branded "Apple Intelligence.” I think so much of it has been developed and utilized in ways that are pretty shitty. That being said, it sounds like Apple is going to at least try to protect your privacy and have some personalized features which rely on the Apple Ecosystem to be useful. I will likely not be using AI for my writing though. At least not initially. I’d rather something come from me rather than a computer interpreting me. I do like the idea of using AI to help sort through my bazillion photos to find what I am looking for though. That is a useful and smart implementation of AI. As is the summarization of an email in the message preview, which is very useful given that most people have no idea how to get to the fucking point. — Siri has been stupid for far, far too long, so it’s nice that it looks like the tech will be worthwhile now (hopefully it will spill over into Apple's HomeKit crap). — The "Visual Intelligence” demo to get info on stuff you see looks amazing, though I laughed my ass off when the guy ASKED FOR PERMISSION to take a photo of that dog, which is more than AI companies do! They don’t generally give a shit about permission, and just take whatever they want! — I am not commenting about “Genmojis" because I’m embarrassed to admit how often I will use this feature. — Not that any of this matters. None of this will be available until October sometime. Why Apple didn't delay their big AI-laden phone until the AI is actually available is likely due to hitting a calendar ship date to make shareholders happy. Screw the customers... it's the shareholders that matter. A strategy that worked awesome for Sonos!

• Camera Control: Absolutely shocking that non-Pro customers are getting this without having to wait a year like they usually do for Pro features. Anyway... I am one of those people who uses my iPhone for photos more than anything else. Making/receiving actual phone calls is WAY down on the list. So of course I’m always thrilled when new camera features are added. The new “Camera Control” has been a long time coming. Apple is taking ideas from DSLRs and I am totally here for it. This is an absolute game-changer for people who want more control when taking photos, but are tired of missing shots because you have to open a bunch of crappy menus to get to what you need.

• iOS 18: Messages via Satellite is intriguing to me. But I am not hearing about how much it costs? It used to be free with the purchase of an iPhone, but it always sounded like they would charge after a year unless you got a new iPhone. No mention of this?

• iPhone 16 Pro: Yep. There’s the "Camera Control" button. Nice. — Larger more durable display. Nice. — AND HERE WE ARE... boring, dead, shitty colors. Yet again...

Faded Black, Snot Smear, Dingy White, and Unhealthy Urine Stain. Exactly what I've come to expect. Not even a "Forest Green" or "Dark Blue" this time. And of course no vivid or saturated colors that I'd want. This is so fucking disappointing year after year after YEAR. The good colors are only ever available on the cheaper phones. What the fuck is the thinking on this? People who pay more money for their phone don't deserve nice colorways? — HA! Only a 15% speed bump over the phone I have now? Ummm... wow. At least it’s using 20% less battery for the 15% performance bump that I'll never notice, so that’s something, I guess? — But, hey, faster AI performance. I guess that's what Apple thinks is a priority now.

• iPhone 16 Pro Photography Extras: The ultra-wide-angle/macro camera is better, but it remains to be seen if that translates to photos which are actually better. So many times Apple professes that the new hardware will make for better photos, but you just don’t see it in real-world use, only in specific situations and conditions. Apparently the sensor reads are faster to reduce lag as well. No mention about any improvement to low-light photography. No mention about the selfie-camera. No mention about any fusion photo upgrades (except what will naturally come out of a slightly faster processor). — I do very much like the new real-time color-grading, which will help me make good decisions when composing a shot. And it sounds like you can apply this after the fact, which is awesome. — The video features are all great, but I don't shoot much video, so I likely won't benefit from these cool new features (including the awesome "Cinematic SlowMo")... especially the fact that you can adjust the speed after you shoot! Nice! — The audio recording improvements will likewise be lost on me, but I guess it's good to have that in those rare instances I shoot video.

• The Weeknd!: These real-world use cases that Apple unloads almost never apply to everyday iPhone users given the expensive gear that's needed on top of the high cost of the iPhone Pro needed to actually do this, but it's so great to see what is possible. Especially with this banger track from The Weeknd!

• MagSafe: Ooh! Looks like Apple users are finally getting a MagSafe speed bump that might be on-par with what other phones have had for a while now! Which is nice if I ever needed, but I always charge my iPhone overnight and the newer models have such good battery life that I don't worry about it. I often get messages that my phone isn't charging at full speed to help the battery because it knows I just leave it on the charger all night.

• Case Study: I've never had a third-party case work as well as what I can get from Apple so I don't even bother any more. And the addition of Camera Control almost guarantees that third-party will continue to be worse than anything you get from Apple. Fortunately we're at least getting three options that aren't total drab, boring, morose shit...

I will probably end up with "Ultramarine" because the yellow is not even a touch golden. Which is a shame, because a golden yellow case has always been one of my favorites...

Maybe I'll look at the case at an Apple Store to see if it's a little more golden than it appears on their site. Assuming I bother using the iPhone Upgrade Program to trade up. This may be the year I hold onto my phone a year and get to actually own it come September 2025! Depends on the use-case of the camera... because I likely won't bother unless the photos are better and "Apple Intelligence" is pitifully slow on my iPhone 15 Pro Max.

• Project(NOT-RED): I have to say... I am beyond disappointed that Apple seems to have ended their partnership with Project(RED). No (RED) Watches or Bands. No (RED) iPhones or Cases. No (RED) anything? Maybe Apple doesn't care about fighting AIDS any more? Maybe they will start to care if people start dying from it all over again because the cost of treatment keeps exploding and newer generations aren't taking good precautionary measures to not contract it?

And that's a wrap. Interesting, but nothing so essential that I am dying to upgrade. Especially given the color situation. Good Lord is Apple shoveling colorways that are even worse than they usually are! Nothing (RED) or even bright and hopeful is available for any product I would be interested in! Booo! BOOOOO, APPLE!

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... The last time I was in Orlando for work was September 2019. Before that I believe it went 2017, preceded by 2015, preceded by 2014? It's hard to remember because those pre-pandemic years all blend together (but are easier to remember than the period from 1990 to 2003 when I was going 3 to 4 times a year).

The Seven Dwarfs Mine Train attraction opened in 2014 in Magic Kingdom. Which is to say that I had four opportunities to ride it when I was there, but by that point I was so burned out on Walt Disney World that the only reason I'd go to the parks for was a haircut or to eat (mostly at Epcot's World Showcase, but sometimes I'd go to Magic Kingdom for Casey's Corner or Disney Studios for Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater or 50's Prime Time Cafe).

This time I finally made time to ride it.

Which is tough because you either wait in the Standby Lane for 60 to 90 minutes or you have to pay $12 for an Individual Lightning Lane to skip the wait. But, hey, at least you have the option to wait in line (unlike Tiana's Bayou Adventure, Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind, and TRON: Lightcycle Run). The ride is to the right of the castle across from The Many Adventures of Winnie The Pooh...

The ride itself is pretty cool.

The Bad...

• Length. I'm going to put this in both the Bad and Good columns. It's bad because it's under three minutes, but it's good because at least it's not under two minutes. If you've waited 90 minutes to ride or paid $12 to ride, that's not a great return on your investment.
• Price of Admission. Whether you're paying with your valuable time or paying with actual money, there's a cost to ride this attraction. I'd argue that any time you have a wait that's over an hour on a ride that you're overselling tickets to the park, but that's just me.
• Not Everybody Can Ride. When I rode it the second time, the car ahead of me had a couple on the large side trying to ride. They couldn't fit. At first I thought it was because the woman's backpack wouldn't fit on the floor because she was futzing with it and I was going to tell her that I'd set it at my feet... but that wasn't it. She couldn't get the lap-bar to lower far enough to engage. I don't know if it's because the two of them together were too big or it was just her... but she was understandably upset and on the verge of tears. What's worse is that the cast member couldn't accommodate them ride-swapping where one rides while the other hangs out with their bags, then they swap. It's not one big seat that two people sit in but two individual seats side-by-side. This is really unfair. And before anybody comments with "IF SHE WANTED TO RIDE, SHE SHOULD GO ON A DIET!" you should know that I've known people who live far healthier than I do... barely eating a salad for every meal and walking daily... that were very heavy, while I eat garbage and don't exercise and am thin. There's more to your weight than what you eat. But anyway... I don't understand why Disney doesn't have one car that's a single-wide seat which can be used by two people or one large person. Or something so that bigger people can ride. At the bare minimum they should have a "test car" out front like they do for TRON: Lightcycle Run so you can see if you can ride before standing in line 90 minutes or paying $12. Really bad form for Disney here.

The Good...

• Story. Imagineers took the time to make the ride make actual sense, which is nice. The segment in the middle which has you slowing down to see the miners in the mine actually mining is =chef's kiss= exactly the kind of thing I expect from a world-class Disney attraction.
• The Cars. Excepting the fact that they don't provide a cart which allows larger people to ride (as mentioned above) the way the cars swing from side-to-side is pretty cool. It's not a huge movement, but it's there and you do notice. Very cool.
• The Queue. A good chunk of the line is indoors and air conditioned. But it's better than that... they have interactive games and distractions you can play with here and there. Kinda nice if you're in line for an hour or more (especially if you have kids).

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... You only thought that I shot all my Disney World bullets last week, but it's just not true... because an all new VERY SPECIAL WALT DISNEY WORLD EDITION of Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Monsoooon! Because I've been to Orlando dozens and dozens of times over the years, I've been here at all times of year. But hurricane season is always the time that can be a bit dicey. One top of an actual hurricane (which I've experienced twice) that can shut down Walt Disney World (which I've experienced once), you usually get some showers in the afternoons. But sometimes you can get these torrential downpours that make it impossible to be out and about. On the Sunday I was at Magic Kingdom, we had one of those. And it was a rare sight indeed to see the park empty as everybody went running for cover...

Though every once in a while somebody would be running around...

   
• Weather! The thing about visiting Walt Disney World in the Summer is not just the hurricanes that can pop up, but also the unrelenting heat and humidity. I don't mind the heat, but the humidity can really get to me when it's on top of the heat. Which is why I don't mind it when there's a sprinkle or overcast clouds. On top of cooling things off a bit, you also get prettier photos...

Cinderella Castle really pops when it's not trying to compete with the glare of the sun!

   
• Send in the Drones! Rumor has it that Disney is looking into using drones as an alternative to fireworks for some shows. This is not surprising, because of the cost and environmental impact that big fireworks shows have are not great. There have been a few drone shows in the past, but the first big show I'm aware of is the Dreams That Soar show at Disney Springs. It's very well done, and some of the 3D objects that are created are incredible to behold (I'm looking at you, WALL-E and EVE). There's also a Star Wars segment that's pretty special...

Drone entertainment is just going to get better and better. Will it ever truly replace fireworks? Probably not. But given the benefits to both Disney and their guests, it's only a matter of time before we start getting drone shows in the actual parks.

   
• Secondhand Mickey! My first watch was a Timex Mickey watch that I loved. Eventually it broke, and I've always wanted a replacement. So imagine my surprise when I saw that Fossil had a new take on the old watch that was being advertised on Facebook! Except two problems. A) The price? FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS! and B) What the heck is going on when the placement of that second hand?

Nigh pornographic. Which I'm not opposed to, of course. But I am a bit hesitant to spend FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS on something which such a bizarre design to it.

   
• Country Bears Redux! The Country Bear Jamboree is an original Magic Kingdom attraction that proved so popular that it was duplicated in both Disneyland and Tokyo Disneyland. And while the Disneyland version closed over two decades ago (necessitating "Bear Country" being renamed "Critter Country"), Disney World's version kept chugging along. Until Disney finally decided to update it, reopening the attraction this July. The bears got new costumes... and new songs. This time countrified versions of Disney movie classics like You've Got a Friend in Me from Toy Story, A Whole New World from Aladdin and Kiss the Girl from The Little Mermaid. Fortunately, Baby Oscar is still in the show, except he has a hat and no longer has his teddy bear (Mayer!) that he squeaks at the end of songs. I think it's a Big Al plushie? I dunno...

Surprisingly, the new take on a classic attraction really works! It refreshes something that was badly outdated and makes it into something new. It's essentially a sing-along for the kiddos who know all those Disney songs by heart. Fun!

   
• PhotoPass-Out! Disney has loads of photographers around the park ready to take your photo in all kinds of places with all kinds of characters that you can get with a PhotoPass. And I'd probably buy one if I had kids despite the insane cost (all photos from my week-long trip cost $209.99 and a single day is $74.99), but I don't care enough about it for myself to spend that kind of money (if my friends want to buy it, that's on them!). Except... if you get a Lightning Lane MultiPass, you get your ride photos included. You also get your photos if you go on a tour that has them (like Wild Africa Trek). Sorry, but you still have to pay for your character photos with Mickey Mouse & Company. But anyway... PhotoPass has some serious problems. First, for two days during our trip there were only a handful of photographers available (no idea why), and they asked you to take photos with your phone. How bad is it to pay $209.99 to take your own photos? Second, for really popular spots, there are no photographers but an automated camera in a box that randomly snaps photos that simply cannot take the place of a real person. Third, I cannot imagine that a lot of people are paying the hideous cost to buy their photos. Instead they shoot with their phone (like we did) and pay nothing. But Disney is still paying all those photographers and still taking all those photos that are never purchased. If my PhotoPass was half the cost... say, $99... I would have totally bought it! I bet a lot of people would. If it was half the cost would they make double the money? I dunno. But I'll bet they'd make at least the same money with a lot more happy guests. Fourth, the app and website where you manage your photos is terrible. I tried multiple times to download the photos on my phone. I deleted and re-installed the app three times. Never could do it. Instead I had to you the website, which has massive problems of its own. Just look at what happened when I downloaded them...

Not only could PhotoPass be a massive perk for guests if it were affordable and worked well, I think it could be more profitable for Disney as well. But it would take a commitment to improvements that I don't think Disney would make given that they just announced a bunch of other expensive projects. And it's a shame, because PhotoPass is a brilliant idea that I think park guests could embrace more than they have.

   
• Competition! Big changes are underway in Orlando, and the new Universal Studios Epic Universe park opening up next year is driving much of it. Disney finally had to react by announcing a bunch of new stuff for Walt Disney World at D23 just last month. But it's not just their local competition that Disney has to worry about. There's other parks around the world that will be eating their lunch if they allow it. One of the biggest that I've not yet been to is Europa Park in Germany. Recently there was a fascinating documentary released which goes behind the scenes and gives you a look at what it takes to run one of these things. If you enjoy theme parks, it's worth a look...

Makes me want to have several billion dollars so I can dust off the plans for my Daveland theme park and Daveland Resort and build them!

And that's the last Disney Bullet Sunday for a while. Only a couple more Walt Disney World entries to go!

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... Well today's entry didn't go as planned.

What I wanted to do, just for fun, was have Adobe Photoshop's "Generative Fill" tool put Mickey Mouse ears on my cats as I continue writing about my trip to Walt Disney World. And that was going to be the entire post today. Two photos and done. What can I say, it struck me as funny.

So I drew a lasso around Jake's head and opened up the Generative AI Fill dialogue so I could ask for "Mickey Mouse ears hat...

But Adobe wasn't having it, and I got an error telling me that there was something wrong with my prompt...

No matter how I tried to get around it by using other words, Adobe AI would refuse to give me what I want and instead gave me crazy stuff like this...

I'm assuming, there was a copyright issue, because what else could it be? This is hilarious when you consider Adobe was happy to train their AI tool by stealing from a bajillion people's work. But big companies like Disney have lawsuit money, so I guess Adobe has gotta do what they gotta do.

Eventually I gave up and just did the Photoshop job myself...

I picked photos which I thought represented my cats and their reaction to having Mickey Ears on their heads. Pretty much perfect.

No thanks to Adobe Photoshop Generative Fill.

Just one more reason to loathe AI, I guess.

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind is my favorite of all the new attractions I rode. It's an immediate classic because it's so well done and so entertaining. If Disney is going to fart IP over absolutely everything, I hope it's as thoughtfully done as this. I went in expecting it to be another Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith being an indoor coaster with music... but walked out feeling like I had been slapped across the face. In a good way.

Which is not easy for me to say for two reasons...

1. It replaced Ellen's Energy Adventure, which I really liked (hey, at least the dinosaurs were actual physical animatronics instead of being crappy screens like Na'vi River Journey).
2. The attraction goes against the concept of Epcot's "Future World" which was to explain how the planet is moving into the future in a realistic way, focusing on the land, the seas, the body, energy, transportation, and the like. About the furthest it strayed was Journey Into Imagination, but even that was designed to show how dreams and imagination can be harnessed to build our future. This ride attempts to explain it away, but it really doesn't. Everything about it is fiction with no basis in reality.

But anyway...

You enter the "Wonders of Xandar" pavilion to learn about the planet (featured in the first Guardians of the Galaxy film) and the queue actually reflects that. There's exhibits and recordings and stuff all about Xandar to entertain you while you stand in line. Then you get transported through a jumphole to actually visit Xandar when, oops, a Celestial shows up and steals the Cosmic Generator to travel back in time and erase humans from existence. Just as the Celestial hops through the jumphole to the past, The Guardians show up and tell you that you will have to chase after him and retrieve the Cosmic Generator if you ever want to make it back to earth and, you know, keep existing. You board an evacuation shuttle to follow the Celestial and chaos ensues.

Not a lot for me to be critical about, but let's recap, shall we?

The Bad...

• The Location! In the queue you learn that Epcot was chosen as the location for the Xandarian outreach pavilion because it was Star-Lord Peter Quill's favorite park as a kid (especially the "Universe of Energy" pavilion, which is hilarious given that this ride replaced it). But it's completely against the whole idea of what Future World is supposed to be about, and seems so badly out of place. Unless they're going to shoehorn in IP stuff everywhere else as well. In which case Epcot is out of place in Epcot. In all honesty, I think the intellectual property mandate is going to really hurt the parks (some IP is good, but they need to remember that the attractions can also create IP... like Pirates of the Caribbean and Haunted Mansion did).
• No Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel? I don't get this at all. Even if they were unavailable when filming was done, they could have easily recorded their dialogue any time after because they play CGI characters. I don't know why they wouldn't want to contribute to a Disney attraction, but I guess that's possible? More likely Disney didn't want to pay them. Regardless, Cooper is sorely missed because Rocket isn't Rocket without him. I really do hope that eventually he gets to re-record the voice so the character feels authentic.

The Good...

• The Track & Cars! The track is laid out very well and is buttery smooth. Almost unbelievably smooth. This is something that people who don't generally like rollercoasters might be able to handle because it's Just. That. Smooth. It's got two launches and they're integrated beautifully. Launching coasters are my favorite, and while this isn't the most thrilling... it is tied with my all-time favorite (the Incredible Hulk Coaster, which was the first launching coaster I rode). Plus the cars you ride in can rotate so the ride can maximize available space by having you look in the direction they want you to look.
• The Story! The fact that rollercoasters are being given stories now makes them so much more interesting. And when the story is good, it adds an entirely new level to the usual dips, loops, and spins. The whole ramp-up pre-show is great, but it's the way it's faithfully continued during the actual ride that makes the attraction so amazing. If I have a criticism, it's that it resolves too quickly but, hey, you're on a rollercoaster, so that's not something that can really be helped!
• The Music! Paying homage to the films, you get some incredible 80's tracks to listen to as you're zipping around the cosmos. And which track you get determines the feel of the ride. The first time I rode it we got I Ran by Flock of Seagulls, and it was by far my favorite. It fit the story they're telling so well, and the beat really hit as you run through the story. Everybody Wants to Rule the World was a bit more chill and gave an entirely different vibe to the ride, which is why the re-ridability is off the charts. Blondie's One Way or Another also worked really well, and there were parts of the ride that it fit so beautifully. There are six different songs total (and I'm sure they'll get swapped out at some point), and you can't help but want to hear them all.
• The Characters! With the exception of Rocket, who could have really benefitted from Bradley Cooper's voice, it was very cool to see the entire team represented. Not just on the ride, but the queue. Drax steals the entire show every time he appears, but everybody has a good part to the story to play. Which leads us to...
• The Pre-Show! Not only did they somehow get Glenn Close to reprise her role as Nova Prime (in a huge pre-show part to the story), they also managed to get Terry Crews as a new character to inject some humor into the attraction. As if that wasn't enough, the pre-show has two parts with a very cool transition which sells the illusion of having been teleported to a ship in Xandar orbit very well. The queues and pre-shows for rides are incredibly important, and this is my favorite since Back to the Future: The Ride.
• The Length! In an age when Disney coasters are clocking in under two minutes, Cosmic Rewind is a blissful three minutes twenty. Any attraction under three minutes needs to be seriously re-evaluated, and I'd argue 3-1/2 should be the bare minimum. If you include the queue and pre-show, the ride feels even longer than it is, which is how it should be.

UPDATE: I didn't understand how the entirety of a high-speed coaster could fit in the old "Universe of Energy" pavilion, and guessed that they must have expanded it out the back somehow. So I ended up Google Mapping it. Turns out that the old building (in green) it merely the queue, pre-show, and loading area. The actual launch for the ride shoots you into another massive building entirely (in blue)...

Interesting to note that the launch takes you over a service road! Also interesting is that the building looks at least five stories tall. Maybe six. That, folks, is how you get an indoor coaster to last over three minutes! And be incredibly entertaining!

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... When I was in Orlando for work in 2017, Pandora: The World of Avatar had not yet opened. I was a month-and-a-half too early. But I was expecting good things. Years prior you could see construction of the "Floating Mountains of Pandora" (AKA "The Hallelujah Mountains," from one of the most cringe scenes in the movie when Norm pumps his fists and is all "YES!" in a moment so fucking embarrassing I seriously worried the actor would never work again). In 2019 the only parks I visited were Magic Kingdom (for a haircut and a veggie dog at Casey's Corner) and Epcot (to eat dinner in Italy and Morocco). NO PANDORA FOR YOU!

But anyway...

Here we are seven years later and I finally made it...

Now, I'm not exactly sure what "Pandora" (not the bracelet) is supposed to be. I think that, like with Star Wars Land, once you cross the threshold into Avatar Land, you're actually supposed to be on Pandora. The attractions certainly make it seem that way. When you're on the Flight of Passage ride, they say you're connecting to an avatar body not across the galaxy, but kilometers away. But unlike Star Wars Land, where there's a good transition to the area, Pandora is like... right there. You pass Pizzafari, walk across a bridge, pass a giant seed pod (or whatever it is), and BAM! Welcome to Pandora. Not a big deal, of course, but it feels like a disconnect.

I did not get to see Avatar Land at night, but apparently that's a great time to see it because things light up and look amazing. I wanted to see what I was missing so I Googled photos people had taken. And, yes, it does indeed look impressive. Next time I'll have to check it out.

But anyway...

You're in a Na'vi village with places to eat and shop for souvenirs (all expensive, some ridiculous). Plus experience two attractions.

The first is Na'vi River Journey. You board a boat and float down a Na'vi river. Hence the name. Along the way you get to see creatures and plants and stuff that makes Pandora so cool. Except the ride is just so... bad. It's boring and less impressive than just watching Avatar. I like the idea as to why it exists... you can experience Pandora at night in the daytime... and I appreciate that. But yikes. Here we go...

The Bad...

• Boring. Seriously. You don't do anything but float and look. There's no story. There's no adventure. There's nothing to do. You're just sitting there. In some ways it's less exciting than It's a Small World.
• Screen Hell. There are a grand total of two Na'vi animatronics. TWO! One waves at you as you enter and is silly. One is singing to you as you leave and is phenomenal. And while there are physical fake plants and some simple physical creatures around (like seeds of Eywa and those spinning lizards) all the interesting stuff is on frickin' screens. That alone makes this attraction pretty bad. They should have filled the thing with animatronics and made it worth your valuable time. It's pretty sad when Elle's Energy Adventure had a more exciting ride-through because at least the creatures you saw were real (well, not real-real, but animatronic-real).

The Good...

• That Na'vi Priestess Animatronic. I mean, seriously. Wow. It's gorgeous. So fluid and realistic-looking. If they had six more of these on the ride... plus some cool animatronic animals... this ride would have been a total banger. As it is, I don't know that this one thing makes the entire attraction worthwhile. Probably. If the wait isn't too long. But there's really no need to ride it more than once. And that's a serious problem. They should refresh this for its 10th anniversary in 2027, because yikes.

The other ride, Avatar Flight of Passage, is the complete opposite of all that. This one attraction makes the entirety of Avatar Land worthwhile to exist. You visit a scientific facility where you are linked with an avatar that is making a flight on a banshee. You then get to experience what the avatar is experiencing, and the way they make it all work is really cool and about as convincing as you can get until there's a big leap in technology. You put on a pair of "flight goggles" (3D glasses), climb on a link saddle, then get put in the middle of a 3D movie as your link saddle does its best to convince you that you're actually riding a banshee. It's pretty great. Unlike Na'vi River Journey, this one is worth your valuable time...

• The Logic. There's some things that don't make sense and are not addressed. It was my understanding from the movies that once a banshee gets linked and bonded with during the Na'vi right of passage, they are bonded with for life. If the rider dies, then the banshee will never bond with anybody else. Which is to say that everybody in the ride queue with you... day-in and day-out... are linking with the same bunch of Na'vi over and over and over again? Don't they get tired? If that's the case, humans must have a very limited sequence of DNA in order to link with them because surely there's a limited number of avatars and banshees available. I dunno. I'm probably over-thinking it, but I've read the Avatar books that explain all this stuff in detail and it seems like Disney and James Cameron could have done more to make this make sense.
• Discomfort. The link chairs are not exactly comfortable. Especially for me because I have a bad ankle. You're supposed to keep your feet flat on the floor while being bent forward, which is something my right foot just can't do because I injured it ages ago skydiving. I did it (in pain) while the cast members made their walkthrough, but then bent it so I wasn't crying through the entire ride. And I don't get it. There's absolutely no reason that you can't bend your foot! You're locked in, so it's not even a safety thing. Although I'm guessing that's what they'd say. I was worried that they'd kick me off the ride if I didn't so I tried to comply at the start, but it was so unnecessary. They should install pegs so people with mobility issues can at least be comfortable.

• The Tech. This is essentially a version of Soarin' except everybody is sitting on their own link chair. And those chairs are great. They move well. And they frickin' breathe! Once you're linked to an avatar, you feel what they feel and that involves the banshee breathing between your legs. They really sell the illusion of flight and it's a lot of fun.
• The Movie. The 3D film is what's going to make or break the experience. Fortunately, it's incredibly well done. The 3D is subtle so there's not weird moments where things are unrealistically punching you in the face. The flight path you take is thrilling. There's moments where you land and take in the view that keeps it feeling real. And, most importantly, it really looks like you're on Pandora.
• The Pre-Show. The queue is nothing special. But once you enter the pre-show chamber, they create a great illusion that sells what you're going to experience. Rather than just making you stand on numbers without any attempt to make it make sense, you're standing on them to get scanned so they can find a compatible avatar. You then have to go to the corresponding link chair so that you're linked with the correct avatar that you were matched with. It's a more immersive way of getting people assigned their seat than you usually see.
• Re-Ridability. Even if the experience wasn't so amazing, you'd probably still want to ride it again because the movie is so wonderfully detailed. There's stuff going on that you'll miss the first five times you ride it.

They really need to get on another attraction for Pandora so they can take down River Journey and fix it. It's a real sore spot in what could be a top-tier experience.

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... Despite liking the attraction overall, I was disappointed that Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway didn't take full advantage of their trackless cars.

But Remy's Ratatouille Adventure does, and it's a pretty brilliant ride. Finally giving the France Pavilion the great attraction it deserves, it's located in back of the original pavilion structures...

The story of the ride is that you're shrunk down to the size of a rat (while riding in rat vehicles, natch) and get dropped down a skylight into Gusteau's restaurant where evil Chef Skinner chases you and Remy around trying to catch you. Your end goal is to escape and make it back up to Remy's rooftop restaurant, Bistrot Chez Rémy.

Not much else to say except I love the attraction. So let's recap!

The Bad...

• Missing! I rode this four times trying to see everything (thank you Lightning Lane Multipass!). It wasn't until the last time that I realized I had missed part of the ride the previous three times not because there was so much going on (except there is), but because the rat car I happened to be in was at an earlier position. In rides 1-3 I was late to all the scenes. It's not critical stuff, so no big loss, but it was fun to see things I didn't previously (but wish I had).

The Good...

• The Story! While the how of you shrinking to rat-size isn't clear, it really doesn't matter. Once you're dropped into the restaurant you're trying to escape... and characters from the movie are there. Alfredo, Colette, Emilie, Pompidou, and of course Remy and Skinner. The ride makes sense within the framework of the ride and the movie. Refreshing.
• The Cars! Trackless vehicles and the ride actually relies on them being trackless. You regularly peel off from the other rat cars in interesting and seemingly random ways where more of the attraction is revealed to you. It's absolutely brilliant, and feels more frantic and chaotic to match the energy of the ride. They're also shaped like adorable rats, so... bonus!
• 4D! You wear 3D glasses because there's screens where part of the story plays out in very good 3D. But there are times you end up in 4D as well. You drive through a kitchen storage pantry where giant food ingredients are there. You run under a gas oven when the flame turns on and get blasted with heat. You drop into the kitchen and the scent of cheese and bread (I think?) are blown at you. You hide under a cart and and the giant wheels on either side start turning when you move. A mop gets flung your way and water sprays at you. It's all just so wonderfully well done.
• Delay! Now, as I mentioned in my only "bad" bullet above, the last time through I saw some things I didn't see because I was previously late to the scene. On that run, it felt a couple times that our vehicle was delayed. Maybe it was because I was there longer since my rat was first to arrive, but I don't think so. But here's the thing... if there was a delay... the ride didn't freeze up. Instead it seemed as though the scene I was in got extended. There's rats opening a bottle of champagne in your direction. On my 4th time through, the rat opening the bottle stopped and took some deep breaths several times before the cork popped. That didn't happen other times. Which makes me think there was a delay unloading vehicles or something, so things got backed up and our scene was extended on the fly. This is incredibly cool. And should be the future of attractions like this.
• The Queue. You're on the rooftops of Paris at night with a big Gusteau's billboards in the background. And you get to look in windows and such as you make your way to the load platform. It's beautiful. And sets up the ride in a really good way.