The first half of the "final season" of The Crown dropped on Netflix last week. The four episodes are entirely devoted to Princess Diana's final days and death, and anything to do with The Crown is largely ancillary. Sure you've got Prince Charles struggling to get his relationship with Camilla legitimized with both Her Majesty The Queen and the public at large, but make no mistake... this is the Diana Show. She's stealing the headlines. She's driving the narrative. It's her world and everybody else is just living in it.
Which is very much as I remember it.
Diana is a fascinating person. And admirable. She tried to use her fame for a number of good causes (the two most famous being compassion and understanding of people with AIDS and the global removal of landmines, but she also advocated for the homeless, shined a spotlight on the struggle of people living in poverty, and supported numerous cancer charities... to name a few). That she also dared to try and build a life for herself and find happiness bothers an awful lot of people, which is profoundly sad.
A sympathy that The Crown definitely shares.
Right up until her death in the third episode.
Although the story that Netflix is telling has been refuted on several fronts. The foremost of which being that Mohamed Al-Fayed was the driving force behind his son Dodi Fayed and Diana's romance and, by further extension, is responsible for their death since he set up the infamous photos that escalated the paparazzi frenzy. Every photographer wanted their million dollar payday, and that ultimately resulted in tragedy.
It's just speculation.
Which, from the beginning, is all The Crown really has.
And yet we watch it anyway.
I've mentioned how I was eating breakfast and watching television before driving to the airport for work on August 31st, 1997. The morning the news broke here about the car accident in Paris. When I got to Seattle, it was being reported that all three passengers had perished. Then, as I was waiting, it was reported Diana was still alive. As I was boarding my flight to Orlando, there was serious confusion as to whether she had died or not.
After landing, all the televisions were reporting the sad news of her passing.
It didn't really register.
Not until the next day. My work was at one of the Disney World hotels. I had finished up my first meeting and went to Epcot for lunch with a friend in "Italy." I was early, so I walked counter-clockwise to pop by the France Pavilion for a pastry first. To get there, you have to pass through the pavilions for Canada and The United Kingdom. Which is to say "A member country of The British Commonwealth and The United Kingdom."
And since Disney endeavors to make each country's pavilion be as authentic as possible, the staff is populated by people from those countries. And they were grieving far from home. Far from the people who could truly comprehend what they were feeling.
Though the people at Disney World that day were far from unsympathetic. Flowers were piled around the UK Pavilion just as they had been back at Kensington Palace. The usual murmur and laughter was greatly muted.
Then you'd cross the bridge to the France Pavilion... and everything was back to normal.
Or as normal as it could be considering a person loved and admired around the world was gone.
In the end, I think The Crown could have ended with Season 05 and we'd all have been better off. The wild speculation about Diana in Season 06 serves no purpose. It's not even very entertaining. And the drama surrounding The Royal Family was already portrayed far better by the 2006 movie The Queen.
Not that Netflix hasn't wasted money on useless programming before, but this time it just seems so unneeded.
Snow is inching closer, but I'm not pulling the shovel out just yet... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• Holiday Trooper! I've been sending care packages to the troops through AnySoldier.com for years. This is another program that's very cool because it doesn't cost you a dime! Just choose the four treats you want to send overseas, write a message of support, and Crown Royal will send it!
I wish more organizations would do something like this.
• Catventure! Mr. Kitters has many adventures (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...
@mr.kitters.the.cat Places to go and people to meet. 🐈 #fyp #cat #meow ♬ original sound - Mr. Kitters the Cat
Surprisinly, I haven't seen Mr. Kitters ripping apart some poor bird. Thank heavens.
• Murder! There I was, just starting A Murder at the End of the World on Hulu. The main character is driving in a car with her boyfriend and they are singing along to No More I Love You's by Annie Lennox... and I know this will be a show that's something truly special. Honestly, they could have just released this scene as a commercial for the series and I would be all in. But there's so much more to it, and I can't wait for the remaining five episodes to drop...
The cast is amazing on top of it all. I just hope they stick the landing.
• Killer! Every time I see yet another brilliant film by David Fincher, I am mad all over again that he never got to make the sequels to The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, which remains one of my favorite films of all time. Though, while we're on the subject, a sequel to The Killer on Netflix would be fantastic, because this was a darn enjoyable flick...
ALTHOUGH... a better use of the money would be for Netflix (who has an existing relationship with Fincher AND Daniel Craig) to get the rights to The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest. Just sayin'.
• What Was I Made For? People saying that Billy Eilish is untalented makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. She's not entirely my thing... but I love this song... and listening to her brother explain how they created it should put the nail in the coffin of the idea that anybody could crap out the music they make. A song so multifaceted and lovely doesn't happen by accident. This is art...
Brilliant.
• Unmortricken! Rick and Morty has always been borderline genius with momentary lapses into episodes I'm completely indifferent about. But this latest episode? Unmortricken? I honestly don't know where the show goes from here. It's like every episode up until this point has been building to this point... and now it's over. Or mostly over. Which means that they either
No, I didn't like Unmortricken better than ten other episodes (including The Rickshank Rickdemption which is one of the best episodes of television ever made), but it just goes to show that Rick and Morty is far from over if they can keep defying expectations like this.
• Blarf! I was excited that a Jaime Reyes "Blue Beetle" movie was in development. He's a fun character in the comics, and the fact that we'd finally get a Latino-centric super-hero movie meant it might be *different* from the same old thing. — Until I saw the trailers. They made it very clear that this was a "power of family" movie instead of a Blue Beetle movie. And who gives a shit about that? — Turns out the movie (now on HBO Max) is even worse than that. It is boring as fuck. It takes a half-hour... A HALF-HOUR... before you even see the Blue Beetle, for crying out loud...
This is the most boring, uneventful, slog of an origin story that's ultimately just a frickin' Iron Man/Spider-Man hybrid clone, and not in a good way. I hope to God that James Gunn gets the DCU turned around so we avoid more of this idiotic crap. HA HA HA! GRANDMA WITH A GATLING GUN! HILARIOUS! and, even worse, HA HA HA! HOW FUNNY! HE CAN'T CONTROL THE SUIT AND HE'S RUNNING INTO EVERYTHING FOR TEN MINUTES! Jesus. I know Greatest American Hero was a while ago, but this has been done to death. From there on it's just talk talk talk talk talk with action beats that are equally boring. What a frickin' waste.
Hope your Turkey Day is a good one.
Officially entering the holiday season, not that it'll keep me away... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• This is EARTH! sigh. I love love love the YouTube channel Kurzgesagt. They tackle fascination topics in a highly educational and entertaining way. And now there's this absolutely brilliant new video. They have condensed the 4.5 billion year history of planet earth in exactly one hour. And guess when humans appear in that hour? Helpful hint... don't blink...
It's had it running last night on the television while I was working. I found myself looking up to watch more often than I expected.
• POIROT! Here's the thing. I thought the Albert Finney original Murder on the Orient Express was better than the Kenneth Branagh remake. I thought the Peter Ustinov original Death on the Nile was VASTLY superior to the Kenneth Branagh remake (indeed, it's one of my favorite films). But I still enjoyed Branagh's take on Poirot, so I just watched A Haunting in Venice. This one I liked a lot...
My mom read all the Agatha Christie books, so I ended up reading all of them as well. I don't remember the book Hallowe'en Party much... but I do remember not thinking much of the BBC adaptation, feeling they were scraping the bottom of the barrel with this one. The Branagh version wisely makes a very loose adaptation with A Haunting in Venice and the movie is far better because of it. I really hope we get a fourth film where they try something unique... and adapt it to be as interesting as this one.
• Reacher Deux! The second season of Reacher cannot get here fast enough. The first season was one of the best things to happen to my television last year...
I haven't read all the Jack Reacher novels, but I've read enough that it's shocking how much more faithful the Amazon Prime series is to the Tom Cruise movies (though, I liked those also, if I'm being honest).
• Falling! I watched the occasional episode of The Fall Guy but was never so much into the show that I gave a thought to a movie adaptation. Until I saw it was starring Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt!
This movie looks entertaining as hell.
• DAFUQ? I had absolutely no idea (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...
@howardsternshow Barbra Streisand on Being the Inspiration for Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” #howardstern #SternShow #thehowardsternshow #howardsternshow #fyp #BarbraStreisand #JamesBrolin #Aerosmith @AerosmithOfficial @Howard Stern ♬ original sound - The Howard Stern Show
I wonder if James Brolin gets any bank off that song?
• DAK! All throughout high school I was addicted to the DAK catalog which had really good deals on electronics, computers, and media. It was kinda a weird concept... the owner (Drew Alan Kaplan) hunted down products which were made wrong or had some cosmetic detail that was off or whatever, bought the entire lot, then offered them at a consumer-direct discount price. I couldn't afford to buy lots of stuff... I was in high school... but I obsessed over every new catalog that arrived. And now those catalogs have been scanned and archived by Cabel Sasser on his site...
This one is my favorite... turn your tiny blurry television into a bigger blurry television with this fresnel lens!
• Pander! I finally remembered to watch the new South Park special on Paramount+... Into the Panderverse... and it's pretty epic. I am 1000% onbord for inclusivity and diversity in entertainment. It keeps things fresh and interesting, because how many times do we want to see the same old shit with straight white people? But the problem is that remaking the same old shit and substituting non-straight-white-people for straight white people is a stupid, lazy way of creating inclusivity and diversity. It completely ignores the lived experience of non-straight-white-people by copy-pasting them into a straight-white experience, and the movie/television studios need to do better than that. Because it's getting boring as hell.
Plus it's got Kathleen Kennedy and her massive ego in it! Though it's fake Kathleen Kennedy, so any hopes of her taking time out from completely fucking up LucasFilm/Disney were shortlived. Unfortunately, there it a downside to this episode. Gino Carano is using it to extend her 15 minutes.
Enjoy whatever remains of your Sunday, everybody.
Well here we are after another fucking episode of dicking with the clocks, but I'm going to set aside my massive hatred of Daylight Saving Time right now... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• Doors! The door into my laundry room is a pocket door. That sticks. Since the day I moved in. I always leave a small gap rather than closing it completely because it's hard to open with the little finger-hold, and I need my entire hand to move it. I asked about getting it fixed, but no matter what's wrong the only way to solve the problem is to open up the wall. And so I've ignored it. Until this morning when I went to pull it open and it glided smoothly open? No idea how that happened. I hope it's permanently fixed! As if by magic.
• Moxie! There have been a lot of moments I love on Penn & Teller: Fool Us, but this might be my favorite...
It's amazing how a show can continue to surprise you after it's been running for so long (ten seasons).
• Sauron Lives! This. Is. Hilarious. You owe it to yourself to watch it (especially if you're a Lord of the Rings fan)...
Just when you think he's peaked, he keeps going... and going.
• A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL? I swear my favorite memes come out of stuff that happened in the UK and Australia. They're comedy gold. But I can't really share them because it's likely nobody in the US will understand them. This one made me laugh for five minutes, so I'm sharing it anyway...
Cartoon from Safely Endangered, which is insanely awesome
If you're not from Australia, it probably means nothing to you (and if you haven't seen the movie Minority Report it probably means even less). Oh well. If you want a laugh, there's this original news video on Youtube. And here's a starter on Wikipedia that explains it pretty well.
• Time and Distance! LOL. I was just at my sister’s house that’s just a little over two hours away. Yes, here in the USA this is considered “close,” and people don’t think anything about having to drive that...
@imjoshfromengland2 Take this from a Brit who has experienced it first hand... 😂🇺🇸
♬ original sound - imjoshfromengland2
Here in Washington State, it would take 9 hours to drive across the state (Cape Flattery to Asotin). I would consider that to be a long drive, as it's over four-five hours...
Map taken from Google Maps
But anything less than that? Not really. Two hours is just how long it takes to get to my sister's house.
• Access! I saw an image being shared repeatedly with a capton saying "this cannot be shared enough," and I completely agree. If you're one of these assholes that parks in the area designated for unloading and loading of those who need special equipment to travel, just stop. Because...
It's not just that they should be towed and fined. It's that they should lose their fucking license and the priviledge to drive for a year. Maybe with serious consequences, people wouldn't be such assholes.
• A Statement on Interest. Given the ever-escalating mortgage rate, I'm reeeeeeally glad I opted for a fixed rate mortgage.
And now we return to this Daylight Saving Time, already in progress.
Last night I watched the three episodes of The West Wing with Matthew Perry, then fell asleep watching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. This morning I woke up and started getting ready for work until I realized that it was Sunday. This really sucks. For all I know Matthew Perry would have never done another project ever. He hadn't done movies or television in years... six years according to IMDB. But there was always a chance he would return. And now there's just the past. After I realized I didn't have to go to work I watched the Nate Bargatze episode of SNL. It was hilarious and brilliant as I knew it would be, and I was able to escape the world for a while. Until there was a title card in memoriam of Matthew Perry at the end and there I was back in the world again. I don't know if I have the headspace to watch my favorite episodes of Friends. David Schwimmer may have been closer to David Simmer in name, but Chandler Bing was where I lived. This really, really sucks.... but an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now... anyway...
• Matthew Perry. This will sound like heresy, but as much as I love Chandler Bing... my favorite Matthew Perry character is a tie between Joe Quincy (The West Wing) and Matt Albie (Sunset 60 on the Sunset Strip)...
The guy was phenomenally talented, and was able to play so much more than slapsticky, over-exaggerated roles (as much as he excelled at them). It's always been sad to me that he had such a hard time finding material to match his talent. He should have been in series and movies as good as The West Wing and Studio 60 constantly. Rest In Peace, sir.
• Saturday Night! I don't have access to live television, so I had to wait until this morning to see Nate Bargatze's hosting gig on Saturday Night Live. I am a huge, huge fan and had been looking forward to it all week. I'm guessing it was a last-minute substtution because Nate Bargatze canceled a week of shows in order to appear. And people love the guy so much that nobody was mad. They were thrilled that he got such an opportunity. And, as expected, he was incredible. His opening monologue started off a bit rough, but he quickly found his footing and killed it...
His sketches were amazing and I was wishing the show was three hours longer...
Absolutely incredible that his comedy is clean. He doesn't have to curse to be funny. Let me rephrase that, he doesn't have to curse to be hilarious. If you haven't checked out his specials on Netflix, I'd recommend starting with The Tennessee Kid, which is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
• Cat Daddy! Hey! It's National Cat Dad Day today! This is the look I got when I tried to explain it all...
Not the reaction I was hoping for, so I tried to explain it again...
What they're saying in this photo is “Happy National Cat Dad Day, dad!” “Yeah! Thanks for everything you do for us, dad!” “Love you, dad!” — Or so I’m guessing.
• Bodies. I just finished the Netflix adaptation of Bodies and loved it. One of my favorite shows of 2023 for sure. It's different than the graphic novel in many ways, but it's still totally brilliant...
The changes they made are actually very smart and make the show more accessible and less weird. If you watched the Netflix show and enjoyed it, I encourage you to pick up the original graphic novel, which is due to be reprinted and released at the end of the month. I was saddened to learn that the creator/writer of the series, Si Spencer, died in 2021. The first episode was dedicated to his memory.
• Freddy! Seeing Jack Cutmore-Scott on Frasier has me running back to watch him in Deception... one of my favorite shows ever...
It's sad that they canceled the show after one season. It's criminal that they ended it on a cliffhanger and didn't bother to wrap it up with a movie or second season. Even so, it's worth a watch.
• Girl You Know It's True! Say what you like about Milli Vanilli... even though the guys on the cover didn't sing the songs (John Davis, Brad Howell, Jodie Rocco, and Linda Rocco did that)... their music was darn good. And the story behind the guys on the cover has been released as a Netflix documentary...
It's a good documentary, and paints a sympathetic picture of how something can snowball out of control when massive success happens. If you're an 80's music fan, this is a decent watch.
• King! Hasan Minhaj is the choice to host The Daily Show. Period. Full stop. But bigotry can't allow a Brown Muslim person to have a platform, and he was reportedly the front-runner for the job, so The New Yorker craps out a hit-piece which went way, way beyond the scope of an article explaining how a comedian weaves stories to do their job. But NOOOOOO... they had an agenda in mind. How many movies are "based on a true story" but changes events to tell a better story? ALL OF THEM. THAT'S HOW MANY. Otherwise they would be a DOCUMENTARY. Comedians have to do the same job to entertain people as movie writers, and they change events ALL THE TIME to do that. But Minhaj is an uppity Brown Muslim who dares to speak out on racism and create stories around events he endured, and we can't let that stand. Perfectly okay for legions of white comedians to expand, exaggerate, and reframe events for their jokes. Unacceptable for Hasan Minhaj. Wish I could say I'm surprised. BECAUSE THAT WAS THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT OF "HOMECOMING KING," WHICH IS EASILY ONE OF THE BEST STAND-UP PERFORMANCES EVER CREATED. But here we are... Hasan Minhaj Offers Detailed Response to New Yorker Story: “It Was So Needlessly Misleading”.
Onward and upward. See you with more bullets next week.
The world has gone mad again, but it's still not worse than reading this blog... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• Dr. Nick! The world is so small. I'm watching a fascinating series from NatGeo on Disney+ called Superstructures: Engineering Marvels. One of the episodes is about a massive semi-submersible cargo ship. And one of the experts speaking is Nick Bradbeer, who is billed as a naval architect...
My brain immediately does a flip-flop because the name sounds so familiar. Bradbeer? Where have I heard that name? So I search my computer and come across a slideshow from a talk I downloaded called Spaceship Design Considerations for Writers written by Dr. Nick Bradbeer. And then I remember... I tried to contact him years ago to see if he knew of a video recording of his talk because I'd very much like to see it. Same guy. Yes, he's a naval engineer teaching at University College London... but he's also a massive gaming geek who applies his career speciality to designing games. And when I Google him, I find him on Mastodon where he's engaging his naval engineering students to play games he wrote! What an amazingly cool guy! Still wish I could find a video of his talk on spaceship design, because I'd very much like to see that. If anybody knows anything that could help me track that down I'd appreciate it.
• Spherical! A lot of footage is being released of the concert experience at "The Sphere" Las Vegas (featuring the U2 residency). It looks insane. And absolutely everybody I've heard talk about it says the same thing... "It's incredible." What's really amazing is that video from a cameraphone cannot possibly capture what you see and hear, but it still looks absolutely amazing. This is a pretty good look right here...
The structure is mind-boggling...
Image from MEGA/The Daily Mail - Capacity actually 20,000 including standing room
It sounded intriguing enough that I actually considered going to see it. I'm not a big U2 fan, but it seems like the spectacle of it all might be worth it. Until I found out what it actually is. This is not U2 playing all their greatest hits. It's U2 playing the entirety of their album Actung, Baby... plus some other songs (namely off Rattle and Hum). And as if that weren't enough of a buzzkill, apparently the massive video screen isn't actually used to fullest effect on all the songs. So it's like... what's the point? Not a ton of acts could fill 20,000 seats night after night (though Taylor Swift could do that easily for a year or more). But how many acts could do that without playing all their hits? As a one-off, no problem. But as a residency in a single city? Taylor, Pink, Madonna, The Stones, Elton John, Coldplay, Celine Dion... maybe? And given how expensive the visuals must cost to produce, you really need a residency to have it pay off. Odds are that the best shows for this would be multi-act shows... or reunions of major names. One Direction, The Spice Girls, etc. So I dunno. I'd still like to experience The Sphere, I just don't know for who.
• QUAID! Every once in a while I run across something from years ago that I never even knew existed. This time it's a Funny or Die clip featuring ennis Quaid from eight years ago that is ridiculously funny...
I love it when celebrities are such good sports and willing to particpate in things like this. And now I need to re-watch Undercover Blues for the hundredth time. A movie so good that I remain despondent that it wasn't a massively huge hit so we could have gotten a sequel.
• Ho Ho Ho! Hallmark Channel's annual "Countdown to Christmas" started on Friday... and it started with one of the best Christmas movies I've seen in a minute: Checkin' It Twice...
The story is great... but the actors take it to the next level. Charming and funny. Could it be that my favorite Hallmark Christmas movie of 2023 is the first Hallmark Christmas movie of 2023? Maybe.
• Left Bloody and Broken! How big of an idiot do you have to be to pick a fight with Disney, a company famous for employing countless bloodthirsty, vicious, soulless lawyers? Can you believe that dumbass Ron DeSantis was actually a contender for the presidency before everybody woke up to what a fucking disaster he is? All he did with his war against Disney was galvanize people against his worthless, bigoted, meatball ass... all in the name of being “anti-woke”... and the hilarious story of how it happened is right here, courtesy of the Legal Eagle...
Now if only people would wake up to the total tidalwave of idiots either in office or running for office and send them packing, that would be great.
• Way To Go! So awesome! People aren't considered freaks anymore based on their weight, their body hair, or their tattoos! I never thought we'd get here as a society, but this bigoted fucking cartoon says it's true, so it must be true!
Congratulations everybody on embracing humanity instead of persecution!
Ugh. If only.
• Drought? Oh joy. This precipitation forecast for Winter 2023/2024 might lead to less snow in the mountains where I live this Winter, which means the possibility of another drought Summer 2024 (at least on my side of the mountains)...
But as bad as this might be for us, it's looking disastrous for poor Hawaii. Can't catch a break.
And now to return you to the madness of life on earth. At least until next week.
Hulu forces me to choose between commercials for KitKat or Reeses... then, after I finally choose one so I can get to my fucking show... THEY SHOW ME A COMMERCIAL ABOUT BOTH BECAUSE "I DESERVE BOTH!"
Fuck Hulu for wasting my time with a non-choice. And definitely fuck the assholes at KitKat and Reese's for coming up with a stupid-as-shit ad campaign which wastes people's fucking time and actually makes me hate products I used to love.
Fire your fucking advertising agency for being obscenely fucking stupid. Who thought this was a good idea?
Fall has come and the weather is dreary and cold, but it's warm in my heart... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• The Price of Cinema is Too Damn High! I loved Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning, Part One. It is smart, exciting, and I can't wait for Part Two. What gets me is that the movie cost $291 MILLION to make. And while I'm not staying that it wasn't money well-spent (this movie is insane)... I am saying that it's $567 million box office means that the movie barely made any money after promotion. If it made any money at all...
They seriously need to stop making movies that cost these utterly bonkers amount of money. It is totally fucking up the industry, and failures like this (and so many other... The Flash, Fast X, Indiana Jones, to name some) are going to make it so that studio movies die a horrible death. That's no fun for any of us. Surely they can be more clever with less money? Because this just isn't sustainable any more.
• Fantasy Football! I remember when The League first debuted. It was amazing to me that it managed to make it on the air given how raunchy it was. But it endured for seven seasons, and I was a huge fan for the first four seasons. A fan for the fifth and sixth season. And was still watching for the final season, although it most definitely did not go out on a high note...
As I mentioned on Wednesday, I've been rewatching all the episodes on Hulu. Now that I have some distance from the end of the series, I cannot help but wonder if they came back for an 8th season what that would be like. I honestly don't know... but it seems like it would be a worthwhile thing to take a look at.
• On the Other Hand... The new Frasier is kinda... not great. It's nowhere near the level of Cheers and Frasier and I'm wondering why this was the direction they took. I mean, it's not as tragic as some of the reviews made it out to be. They tried to get some heart into it and there are funny moments despite itself. But all I feel while watching it is wanting to go re-watch the original Frasier and also rewatch Deception to see Jack Cutmore-Scott in something that was actually good and Sirens so I could see Kevin Daniels in something good. At least that way I won't have to see "David" be a horrific substitute for "Niles"... it's like he's there JUST to be unfunny and cringe.
Will & Grace managed to come back as good as it ever was... but too many of these revivals just aren't working. But because I loved the original Frasier I'm going to keep watching in the hopes that the show finds its footing. Because I'm watching the very first episode of the first Frasier and it was absolute gold from the jump.
• Hot Sauce! I love hot sauce. I started with the mild green sauce that my mom loved (something I still eat on tacos when I make them at home, because it's the flavor I'm used to. Later I moved on to Tabasco, which has more heat and a vinegar tang that makes it a delicious addition to everything from sauces to potato salad. Now I split my time between Tabasco, Cholula, and Sriracha. They are similar enough that I can use them interchangeably, but different enough that I prefer them for specific foods (occasionally I pick up a bottle of Frank's RedHot, which is not so hot, and Tapatío as well). Last year I was trying to save money, so I started keeping track of which brand I use most. I thought it would be Tabasco, but it ended up being Cholula because it has a bit more heat. So now I buy just that one sauce to save money so I'm not buying three and four. AND THEN... I decided to try something hotter. So now I'm addicted to El Yucateco Red...
It's more than just "hot" because it still adds nice flavor (unlike the hotter sauces I've tried where I can't even taste anything but fire). And now I'm wondering if I've reached my hot sauce limit? Or eventually will this not be hot enough either? Because it's only 5,790 on the Scoville scale, and that's barely hitting the second of ten sauces if I ever end up on an episode of Hot Ones (which tops out at 2,000,000 on the Scoville scale). Which is a great excuse to post the SNL parody, which is one of my favorites...
That never gets old.
• Shoresy Deux! One of the biggest surprises last year was the Letterkenny spin-off, Shoresy. It was rediculously entertaining, and ended up being my fifth favorite show of 2022. And now it's coming back...
Reeeeally looking forward to it.
• J-Boy! So there I was watching the movie Robots
The best part of the movie for me was the end-credits song called J-Boy by the band Phoenix. From six years ago...
I liked the song enough that I decided to add it to my Sonos music queue.
• Whither Sonos! Except I couldn't add the song to my fucking Sonos music queue because on top of having shitty fucking products that they don't want to fix... their apps are fucking shitty too. First of all my MacOS app decided it wouldn't do shit until my Apple Music account was reauthorized...
EXCEPT I COULDN'T BECAUSE ALL OF A SUDDEN THE APP CAN'T SEE MY FUCKING SPEAKERS...
But of course the "Let's fix it" link was full of shit. After trying that three times, Sonos finally wanted me to turn EVERY FUCKING SPEAKER OFF AND BACK ON...
That didn't work, so I ended up being told that I had to turn the router off and back on...
That didn't fucking work either, so I was told to turn all my shit off and on again. I ignored that and decided to uninstall Sonos and reinstall it again. That finally worked. EXCEPT... then I got an ad for Sonos's "Live Gift Guide Event" that I could not dismiss. There's no cancel button. There's no close button. You can't tap around it to get out of it. I couldn't even reboot the app and get rid of it. I was forced to "add it to my calendar" (which I didn't actually do)...
Fuck Sonos. Fuck them up their piece of shit useless asses. I regret EVER getting involved with them and their shitty products. Maybe I'd feel different if they'd AT THE VERY LEAST make it so that I could use the fucking Dolby Atmos that I paid to get without having my Arc soundbar fail. But nope. It's been a problem for two years and Sonos is still "working on it." Except they're fucking not because I've heard of nobody being asked to send in their system parts so Sonos could watch it fucking happen. Jesus what an asshole company.
And on that happy note... I'm back to dreary weather for a dreary Sunday.
With all the violence, death, and persecution going on right now, it would be so great if everybody could just not contribute to any more of it. Find the time to be kind and all that. And yet... exactly the opposite seems to be happening. If anything, the assholery is being ramped up to a frightening degree.
And the response to it all leads to an interesting observation on humanity: there's money and power to be made from hate, and the usual suspects are cashing in hard on it. That's what they do.
Most of the time I find myself rolling my eyes and marveling at the hypocrisy of it all (so much Christian Love™®© out there!) while trying not to go insane.
But, alas, it's too late for me. Nothing else to do but hide under the covers, eat chocolate pudding, and delve into my secret shame: watching reruns of The League for the hundredth time...
Because Taco has the best outlook on life in these trying times.
The new Star Wars series Ahsoka has done something I never thought possible.
Needless to say, this is going to be a spoiler-soaked post, so keep that in mind if you're one of the few people insane enough to have not spent your valuable time watching this excellent series.
You have been warned.
Actually, I lied. The series managed to do two things I didn't think possible.
Taking place before the rise of The First Order, Ahsoka dips deep, deep into Star Wars lore in order to explain how The First Order could even happen given that The Empire had just been defeated. Along the way we get Zombie Stormtroopers, C-3PO, and Anakin Skywalker in a time period after he became Darth Vader, but who is actually in flashback form prior to that when he was training Ahsoka during The Clone Wars.
There's also plenty of delicious sci-fi battles with starships, blasters, and lightsabers galore. All very, very cool to watch. It makes me thrilled for Star Wars in a way I haven't been in a while.
Unfortunately there's also a race of turtle people that are every bit as annoying as Ewoks. And the whole Zombie Stormtroopers ordeal was absurd.
But anyway...
One of the best surprises for me was how delicious Baylan Skoll was utilized as a villain despite his limited screen time. He's an entirely new character for the series brilliantly played by the late Ray Stevenson, who tragically passed away after filming (he also played Volstagg in the Thor movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe). The fact that he won't be able to appear in future Star Wars projects is a gut-punch to be sure. It sure looked like his story was going somewhere interesting considering those were statues of The Ones at the end.
But Thrawn was the villain of the day, and he was everything you could hope for. Cool, calculating, and oh so deadly. I don't know what I was expecting, but certainly nothing this amazing. His history in the Star Wars universe is crazy long and deep. I've read many of the novels, comics, and saw him in the animated series... but I'm acutely aware that I don't even know the half of it. Fortunately I didn't really need to, and knowing the stuff that I do just made him a more realized villain for me. Whatever Dave Filoni has planned for his feature Star Wars film will very clearly involved Thrawn, and I cannot wait for that.
And speaking of...
Ending the series as a cliffhanger is hardly surprising. We knew that a movie would come next. We knew that this was an appetizer for the main course. And yet... still kinda shitty. Although... Ezra's reunion with Chopper and Hera crushed me a little bit. It was so simple and understated that it caught me in all the feels. They could have dragged that shit on for ages, but short and sweet was brilliantly played. I loved that.
No word on if we're getting a second season of Ahsoka once the movie is done. But Lord I sure hope so, because this is absolutely everything you could want out of Star Wars and the best Star Wars Disney+ series by a mile. The Mandalorian faltered a bit in its third season. Boba Fett rang a bit hollow, and Obi-Wan could have been better story-wise, featuring plot-holes big enough to fit the Death Star through.
And now I'm going to resist the urge to watch the series all over again because I think it will hit sweeter if I hold off for six months.
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