OH YEAH!

1. Tropical Punch.
   One of the original flavors and still my favorite. It has good fruity taste, and the added bonus of having Kool-Aid's hallmark toxic sweetness nicely balanced out with some acidity. As if that all weren't enough, the red coloring is so intense that you can use it to dye fabrics, your intestines, or even your hair.
2. Purplesaurus Rex.
   After having gone missing for a while, this classic flavor made a recent re-appearance. It's supposed to be a blend of grape an lemon... but it tastes like more than the sum of its parts. I can't really explain that, so you'll just have to try it for yourself... while you can.
3. Orange. Or perhaps Grape.
   These are two basic flavors that divide my loyalty. Sometimes I get on an Orange kick where I can't think of drinking any other flavor... then I'll hop on the Grape bandwagon. They are not the best interpretation of "real fruit taste" but they are tasty.
4. Sharkleberry Fin.
   A weird, but pleasing blend of Strawberry, Orange, and Banana. Has a somewhat artificial taste to it, but (oddly) not in a bad way. Another flavor that's been gone for a while.
5. Peach Mango.
   Probably the most accurately-flavored Kool-Aid flavor I've tried. And it has good "body" to it, which makes it feel more like a juice than Kool-Aid.

Deliciousness ensues!

COOKIES!

Who doesn't love cookies? My favorite cookies are freshly-baked oatmeal-raisin cookies. Which is a pity, because I so rarely have the time to bake and they don't make any oatmeal-raisin cookies you can buy in the store that I will eat. So what cookies that you can buy in the store do I like? Glad you asked...

1. Pepperidge Farms Sausalito.
   The best cookies you can buy. Period. I am not a fan of coconut, but... the tiny shavings they add to these milk-chocolate chunk and macadamia miracles is amazing. As if the flavor profile wasn't sublimely delicious, they have a crisp, crumbly texture that somehow doesn't come off as dry. I could eat a bag of these a day for the rest of my life and never get tired of them. A pity they're so expensive.
2. Girl Scout Caramel deLites (Samoas).
   I am not a fan of coconut, but... these have it all. A buttery vanilla cookie base topped with creamy caramel and coconut shreds... THEN they put chocolate on top of that. There's so much delicious going on in each bite that your brain doesn't quite know how to process it. Keebler has the same cookie they brand as "Caramel Dreams," so you can eat them outside of Girl Scout Cookie Season.
3. Keebler Pecan Sandies.
   Shortbread is a highly subjective topic because everybody has an opinion as to what makes the best cookie. Some like a dense shortbread like Lorna Doone... others prefer a more traditional buttery shortbread like Walker's. I prefer a lighter shortbread (if you can call it that?) which is why I buy Sandies. My favorite version is the ones with pecans... though there never seems to be enough pecans in them.
4. Tim Tams Original.
   "Australia's Favorite Cookie" has two chocolate biscuits with a layer of yummeh chocolate cream between them... all drenched in milk chocolate. Doesn't sound like much, but the textures of the three components work together to give you an unforgettable cookie experience.
5. Girl Scout Thin Mints.
   The fact that these are vegan would usually make me run away screaming... but the Girl Scouts somehow make it work. A chocolate-mint wafer is coated in a chocolate compound to create a simple cookie treat which has enough mint flavor to satisfy... but not so much that it overwhelms. It's this flawless balance that makes it one of my favorites.

And that's cookies for you.

Lose not your faith in Blogography, fair human! Because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Broked. As if it weren't painfully apparent, my blog wasn't as fixed as I had thought it was. I honestly don't know what to do about it short of a complete re-install, and I ain't got time for that. But anyway...

   
• Book. As a massive fan of the original cartoon, I anticipated hating The Jungle Book live-action remake. Well, I watched in on the plane ride home and loved it. Just incredible stuff. Where did they find the kid who played Mowgli? Amazing young actor. The fact that they got Bill Murray as the voice of Baloo is just icing on the cake...

It's my understanding this was filmed in "real" 3D and is not a converted 2D movie. Looks like I have another 3D Blu-Ray to add to my shopping list.

   
• Umbrella. Before I got on the plane, I wandered through the French Quarter yesterday and had to hide under some trees in Jackson Square when a downpour started. That's when I saw a group of ladies caught in the rain who were squealing. A guy passing by handed them his umbrella. After several rounds of thank you's, this happened...
"Oh we gonna have to keep you now!"
"Sorry ma'am... Im already taken."
"Well I can see why. God bless you young man!"
And off he went into the rain without his umbrella. Then this...
"He was just like Batman!"

If I wasn't in New Orleans, one of my favorite places on earth, that would have made my day.

   
• Wrong. Kim Davis Asks Court to Dismiss Marriage License Appeal. Looks like somebody doesn't want to go down on the wrong side of history as a hateful bigot that refused to do her job. Well, I have news for you... that's ALL you're going to be remembered for as long as people remember who you are you pathetic farce. You'd think that this would serve as warning for other bigots out there, but I think we all know that's not true.

   
• Sodium. A friend of a friend closed his restaurant last December. Recently when he was asked if he would share some of his favorite recipes and he did. Then somebody asked him how in the heck he made his burgers taste so good. His answer? Butter and salt. Saturate the buns in butter before grilling them. Just before flipping, salt and pepper the patty (his restaurant had a touch of garlic powder in the mix) then flip and add more salt. Sodium nightmare? Yes. But restaurants don't have to post Nutrition Facts, so that's how he made his burgers taste great. And so I gave it a try with my Boca Burger patties. *AMAZING* The abundance of butter and salt totally takes them to the next level. High blood pressure, here I come!

   
• Doloris. When you're watching every episode of The West Wing for the hundredth time and you've JUST gotten over the fact that Mrs. Landingham died... only to have her pop up in a flashback in the episode Bartlett for America. Gets me every time. Boy do I miss this show.

   
And I'm outta bullets.

Worried about missing out on a whole month of Dave's life? Well don't be, because an all new SPECIAL CATCH-UP EDITION of Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• MY HEALTH. The bill for my first eye surgery arrived. Thank heavens my deductible is so huge... I was worried I wouldn't find anything to do with these piles of cash I've got laying around. The good news is that my eye seems to be doing okay now. The only remaining damage is a bump from where the anesthesia was injected into my eyelid. Hopefully it will disappear in time.

   
• MY DIET. I've inexplicably become a milk drinker again. I haven't had a glass in years, but recently had one with a slice of chocolate cake and fell in love with the stuff. I no longer have to worry about my milk expiring... which is cool because even though non-fat lasts forever, I was regularly having to throw it out.

   
• MY DISCOVERY. Laughing Cow cheese has never been a favorite even though I love spreadable cheeses. But recently they came out with an Asiago-flavored version that's just fantastic. I eat the stuff piled on Ritz Crackers constantly...

Laughing Cow Spicy Pepper Jack is worth a taste as well.

   
• MY SHOPPING. For much of my life, I've not been an antique fan. Why by old stuff when you can get brand new stuff that's cooler? My view has softened since renovating my guest room, so now I actually stop by antique shops from time to time. Which lead to my paying $28 for this cookie jar...

...and let me tell you why. 1) The bear looks like Ted! 2) Whomever made this didn't fire it properly, so it's sagging on one side and it looks like he's falling over drunk . 3) The lid is also misshapened, so it doesn't really fit the jar. 4) They misspelled "cookie" as "cookey" which is frickin' adorable. 5) It looks awesome next to my gelato machine! How many more reasons did I need? I was forced to buy it! Antiques FTW!

   
• MY SCHEDULE. My cats have turned me into a morning person. I now do my grocery shopping at 7am?...

Oh well. The nice thing is that the store is a ghost town that time of day.

   
• MY CATS. They're still adorable. Still wonderful. And I still love having them around. Such amazing animals...

Don't know how I managed without them.

   
• MY DISAPPOINTMENT. I skipped seeing Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in the theater but finally caught the "Ultimate Edition" on digital. My thoughts are below, but beware of SPOILERS for Captain America: Civil War (yes, you read that right)...

At the end of Captain America: Civil War where Bucky and Cap have beat down Iron Man and are walking away, Tony Stark says "That shield doesn't belong to you! My father made it!" and it's just crushing because of Robert Downey Jr.'s performance. You can feel that Tony is trying to stay proud in the face of defeat, but his heart is breaking on two levels, so there's a tremor in his voice. At that moment... when you are made to feel in the middle of a funny book film... you know that Marvel has completely figured it out. They put the humanity into their cinematic characters in a way that transcends the genre.

Which is why watching Batman v Superman was such a horrendous fucking ordeal. Zack Snyder thinks that taking everything dark and brooding is what adds character to the characters, but he's missing the target so badly as to be... comical. Heaping artificial drama on characters again and again and again just distracts from whatever humanity they might have. It buries it. He has zero sense of what makes a comic book movie reach past the funny books, and that's a huge problem for DC. Their movies are just dark, boring, artificial piles of shit that don't make you *feel* anything. It's the disaster-porn school of filmmaking and people are tired of it. They've seen it all before. Many, many times.

Between DC and Marvel, the one who has the most potential and the easiest road to completely slaying the genre is DC Comics. Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman are the most beloved and recognizable super-heroes in existence. Everything else pales by comparison. And yet by hiring a hack like Zack Snyder to helm their films... somebody who could give a fuck about the source material and changes things just because he can... somebody who doesn't want to bring Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman to the screen, but his "vision" of them... it doesn't matter. You go to a film called Superman v Batman expecting to see Superman and Batman... but they're not there. It's just Zack Snyder shit piled on something that vaguely resembles them.

I hated this movie even worse than Man of Steel, if that's even possible. Add another F- to my "Y2K Super-Hero Comic Book Renaissance" scorecard

   
• MY ENTERTAINMENT. Was thrilled beyond all reason that Mark Millar and Frank Quitely's Jupiter's Legacy: Volume 2 has finally, at long last, been started up...

This is my favorite comic book series in a long, long time. Apparently they are already working up a movie... here's hoping they get somebody better than Zack Snyder to helm it.

   
And... that's all the catch-up bullets we have today.

Don't let the depressing lack of Saturday get you down, because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Tarzan. As a massively huge fan of the original Edgar Rice Burroughs novels, I'm pretty much done with the Tarzan movie adaptations (if that's what you can call them). The number of times I've seen The Lord of the Jungle reduced to a grunting ignoramus is legion, and has nothing to do with the actual character. Tarzan is a literal genius who speaks dozens of languages and, when he's out of the jungle, highly cultured as well. So you can imagine my eye-rolling reaction to the news that there's a new Tarzan movie coming out...

Except... apparently the movie starts out with Lord Greystoke (aka "Tarzan") in London's high society, his jungle adventuring days long behind him. Sooooooo... maybe? Heaven only knows that I'd love to finally see a half-way decent Tarzan on the silver screen. The special effects are sure up to the challenge. Alas... the heinous memories of the John Carter movie (Edgar Rice Burroughs' other famous creation) still linger...

   
• The Force. If you're a fan of Star Wars, then here's the site for you...

Amazing. Keeeeeeep scrolling...

   
• Uhhhhhhhhhh. ZOMFG! YOU CAN'T HAVE GUNS IN JAIL? WTF?! So much for "American freedom!"

I cannot believe these stupid assholes. We have sterilized the entire Bundy clan after this idiocy so they can no longer breed, right?

   
• Taco! IT'S PEOPLE! THE TACOS AT TACO TIME ARE MADE WITH PEOPLE!

Delicious people! Totally rethinking my stance on vegetarianism...

   
• Picard! Captain, let's beam down to Rigel for some whores and blow!

Always good to be a starship captain!

   
And... on that note of ultimate Trekiness... I'm out of Bullets for this week.

When you eat as much unhealthy crap as I do, you'd learn to love them too. They make a nice alternative from unhealthy crap when you feel the need to lay off the unhealthy crap.

And if that's you, I've decided to rank all the Quaker Rice Cakes flavors for you...

1. CHOCOLATE. My hands-down favorite. Tastes chocolatey, but not too chocolatey or too sweet. I seriously love these things, and would often rather have them than a candy bar. You just have to remember to eat them up-side-down so the little chocolate chips melt on your tongue as you eat them for best effect. DID YOU KNOW... if you put vanilla frosting on them, they taste like crunchy chocolate cake!
2. BUTTERED POPCORN. Not actually popcorn-flavored... at least not to me, but they do have a pleasing salty crunch that I'd rather eat instead of chips. Not popcorn though... Skinny Pop Popcorn still have these beat. DID YOU KNOW... if you spread actual butter on them, then pop them in the microwave for five seconds (or just BEFORE the butter starts to melt) they're actually pretty amazing.
3. APPLE CINNAMON. Look, it's never going to come close to taking the place of apple pie... or even apple crisp... but thesand if you dip them in caramel sauce, they are unbelievably tasty. Like a crunchy dessert or something.
4. CARAMEL. One of my most favorite rice cake flavors was Cracker Jack. I don't know what happened, but I can't find those any more. They were not terribly Cracker-Jack-like (no peanuts!) but had an actual butter-toffee taste that was vaguely reminiscent of America's fun-time snack. The caramel flavor is kinda-like Cracker Jack except it's got a dash of caramel flavoring to it. Unfortunately, it's a bit artificial-tasting, but it's certainly not terrible. DID YOU KNOW... drizzling these with a sugar-glaze and pecan pieces makes them taste pretty phenomenal.
5. WHITE CHEDDAR. I'm going to put this out there... White Cheddar used to be my favorite rice cake flavor. They were almost mouth-puckering sharp which went a long way towards compensating for any hint of actual cheese flavor. But then something happened. Quaker drastically toned-down the "sharp" for whatever reason, and I found I didn't like them nearly as much. Also... like the Apple Cinnamon flavor... these fall apart easily and often come out of the package as crumbs. Very disappointing. DID YOU KNOW... if you melt actual cheddar cheese over these under a broiler (NEVER a microwave) they're great. If you dip the cheddar-covered rice cakes in warm pizza sauce, they're amazeballs.
6. LIGHTLY SALTED. Not necessarily "boring," per se, but not very exciting either. I only buy them for those rare times I'm not feeling the other flavors. DID YOU KNOW... if you run out of clean dishes and have no cones, you can eat ice cream off of these? Useful!
7. UNSALTED. Don't even bother. Fucking atrocious. DID YOU KNOW... nothing can save these. Nothing. Maybe sprinkling them with salt, spread them with butter, add a slice of cheese, then top with red pepper flakes... maybe that will help. I dunno.

And there you have it. All my favorite rice cakes.

Keep healthy-snacking, people!

Okay then... finished my home cooking for the month.

Because nothing tastes as amazing as a freshly-baked biscuits... and it's one of the few things I can make that always turns out great no matter how badly I try and screw it up...

The recipe was given to me in a travel forum, so I have no idea who came up with this bit of genius...

• 4 cups Bisquick
• 1 cup sour cream
• 1 cup 7-Up
• 1/2 cup melted butter

Mix Bisquick, sour cream, and 7-Up. Dough will be very, very soft, but don't worry. Knead and fold dough until well-mixed (I spoon on some extra Bisquick after mixing until it's not quite so sticky). Pat dough out on Bisquick-covered board and cut biscuits using a round biscuit cutter (or cookie cutter). Melt butter in bottom of cookie sheet pan or 9x13 casserole dish. Place biscuits on top of melted butter and bake at 425° for 12-15 minutes or until brown.

Now, if you'll excuse me, biscuits, butter, and jam await me.

Can't get no satisfaction? You've been looking in the wrong place, because an all-new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• STRANGE! I love love love love Dr. Strange in the comics. Other than whitewashing The Ancient One from Tibetan to a white English woman (to appease the massive Chinese movie market, I'm guessing), this looks very promising indeed...

November can't get here quickly enough. But first? Captain America: Civil War, baby! This film is getting amazing pre-release reviews and I cannot wait to see it.

   
• Representative? Congratulations North Carolina! The homophobic asshole politicians you elected are fucking up your state real good. But you probably don't need all those billions in jobs and visitor cash... I'm sure North Carolina is sitting on piles of money to make up for what you're losing. Oh? You're not? MIGHT WANT TO REMEMBER THAT WHEN YOU'RE IN THE VOTING BOOTH NEXT TIME!

Only hope now is a full-on repeal of this horrendous law, I guess...

THAT'S NOT A REPEAL, YOU ASSHOLE! Congratulations, North Carolina, you're getting exactly what you deserve for electing this homophobic, transphobic piece of shit. Might want to think about a recall.

   
• Whores! While looking around at the local antique mall, I spotted these Bible-toting dolls that made me laugh...

Tres adorbs.

   
• Nacho Cheese My new favorite snack: over-cooked nachos. Why oh why didn't I discover that over-baking the cheese made nachos ten times more delicious?

All those chips and cheese wasted.

   
• Funny Not Funny. I laughed over this for about ten minutes...

No, I'm not proud of myself.

   
And... that's all the bullets we have or today. Move along. Nothing more to see here. Move along...

Wow.

This kind of artistry makes my heart ache...

   
Everything about these cookies is mesmerizing. I can only guess that they taste amazing as well...

If you're looking to be completely blown away... here's her Facebook page.

Time to put the holidays behind you, because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• COMICS! Ordinarily, today would be filled with my favorite comic books of 2015. But I've drastically reduced the amount of comics I'm reading because I'm just not finding the compelling reads I've found in previous years. The biggest disappointment being that we didn't get more installments of Jupiter's Legacy, whose first volume ended in a massive cliffhanger back in January. I dunno. Maybe I'll find my comic book renaissance in 2016, but I'm just not feeling it this year.

   
• GAH! As if I weren't already excited enough for the upcoming Doctor Strange film...

Less than a year away!

   
• FOOD! Food costs are going through the roof. Even a meager bag of groceries will cost $25 or more. My average trip to the store is running around $75. With this kind of cash involved, you can bet I'm trying to get the most for my money. Which is why I am getting sick and tired of having to throw food in the garbage because the quality is in the shitter. Latest example? I bought a box of Eggo Waffles only to find that once again they're covered in crystal frost. Even when you scrape as much as you can off, they still end up wet in spots. Gross. And a total waste of money. I can only guess that they are partially thawing at some point, then getting re-frozen. But it's not me. I'm seven minutes from the grocery store. From now on, I'm going to start seeing if I can take the shit back for a refund. If not, I'm done shopping there. Or done with the product.

   
• WINTERY! The weather has been pretty shitty this past week, but it made for a beautiful couple days this past week once the sun came back out...

Not bad, Mother Nature, not bad at all.

   
• HOLIDAYS. It's not been a very good holiday season for me. The days from from Thanksgiving right through Christmas has been filled with sadness, loss, and more challenges than I would wish on anyone. With less than a week left in 2015, I'm ready to move on. So... let's wrap up the year with entries looking back at my favorite movies, television shows, and music... followed by a recap of the year here at Blogography, then get on with a fresh start in 2016.

   
And... the bullets have landed.