Thursdays are quickly becoming my favorite day of the week. It means that there's only one more work day until the weekend... and it also means that new episodes of Poker Face and So Help Me Todd are airing. Well... not so much So Help Me Todd, because CBS keeps fucking around with their air dates (no new episodes until March 2nd and the previous episode was all the way back on February 2nd).But a really good new episode of Poker Face was to be had.

And, like every episode, I'm like HOW? How did they get such stellar guest-stars for each episode? This time we got Nick Nolte, Tim Russ, Luis Guzmán, and CHERRY JONES?!? And holy shit does Cherry deliver! The entire episode hinges on her performance, and she doesn't falter...

This show is glorious. IT'S GLORIOUS!!! Very much Columbo for a new generation.

After the episode was over, I put on Babylon because the cast was excellent. Except it's easily one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It's like they were all... let's just film extravagant shit and force feed it to people OVER THREE HOURS. Awful. It looks pretty and is shot beautifully, but that's it. What a waste of money and talent...

So I guess not everything on Thursday is bullet-proof after all. I should have just re-watched Poker Face.

Oh yay. I am spending more money I don't have!

Today only, the original Complete Series Tom Selleck of Magnum P.I. was on sale for $35 at the iTunes Store. All eight seasons. All 162 episodes. I went ahead and snagged it, because that was too good of a price to pass up. Especially since the return of the excellent reboot (now on NBC/Peacock) has me feeling all nostalgic...

Ultimately, the show doesn't really hold up by modern standards. And yet... still incredibly entertaining. Tom Selleck had a flawless take on the character, and it made the show a lot of fun. Still prefer the reboot (Juliette Higgins is one of my favorite television characters of all time), but the original sure takes me back.

And it looks like I may be buying more shows and movies outright like this now that I am completely disenchanted with most all of the streaming services.

Netflix and HBO are cancelling everything. Paramount+ has one of the shittiest fucking apps ever created (that barely works even when it's working). And absolutely everybody is raising their prices. Essentially giving you less for more money.

Well good luck with that.

It just boggles my mind that streaming service CEOs are still in charge when their decisions drive customers away in droves. Disney just released a bundled deal to get Disney+ and Hulu bundled together... but it's the version with ads. In order to get them bundled for ad-free, you ALSO have to pay for ESPN+. What kind of stupid shit is this? I will never watch ESPN. I couldn't give two shits about ESPN. Not even one shit. Not a single shit given over ESPN. So no savings for me. I have to continue to pay for a non-bundle with zero savings.

Given that Paramount+ and HBO Max are making equally stupid-ass mistakes, I think I'm just going to cancel everything.

Cancel everything then rotate between all of them. Netflix one month. Hulu another month. Disney+ another month. HBO Max the next month. Congratulations on getting 1/6th the money off of me. Y'all deserve it.

The only one I'm going to keep year 'round is Philo. Thanks to their T-Mobile discount and sensible pricing, they're worth it.

I swear, I never thought that streaming would get this stupid this fast compared to cable and satellite, which was stupid from the jump. Now I'm to the point where I really just want to give up on television altogether.

Fantastic Voyage was released just six months after I was born in 1966. I didn't see the film until years later thanks to cable television. It's the work that I most attach to Raquel Welch, who sadly passed away today at 82 years old.

But this was not the first time that I saw Raquel Welch in anything. I'm pretty sure that it was Mork & Mindy. I didn't know who she was, but my mom was quick to identify her when I asked WHO IS THAT?!?

Not from when she first walked on the screen like this...

But later on when she walked on looking like this...

Something that made a very big impression on my 13-year-old brain.

From there I made a point of watching anything with Raquel Welch, wherever she appeared. Up to and including Legally Blonde and Eugenio Derbez's How to Be a Latin Lover (her final film project). But it's Fantastic Voyage that I most associate with her (though the original Bedazzled and One Million Years B.C. are in the running)...

Fantastic Voyage was similar to the Disneyland ride Adventure Through Inner Space (which followed the movie the following year), which is why I probably crush on it so hard (as if Raquel in her skin-tight scientist suit wasn't enough)...

Alas, no appearance by Raquel Welch in the ride.

Rest in Peace to an iconic Hollywood bombshell.

What blows me away is how Marvel Studios puts it all on the screen. They don't "hold anything back for the sequel" but instead treat every movie like the last movie they will ever make.

AND THAT'S WHY THEY ARE SO SUCCESSFUL!

After basking the the majesty that's Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, I am making my way through all the Chadwick Boseman Black Panther appearances. The first of which wasn't in a Black Panther film... or even an Avengers film. It was in a Captain America film!

What was also in Captain America: Civil War? The first MCU appearance of Spider-Man!

Plus we get Iron Man, Black Widow, Falcon, Scarlet Witch, Hawkeye, Vision, Ant-Man, and Winter Soldier! It was basically an Avengers film. Inside a Captain America film. Which is crazy. How many studios would even do that?

Other studios would drag things out so they have something for future movies... then wonder why nobody gives a crap about the watered down film they release. Marvel isn't interested in that. They put everything into the film they are making right now... then force themselves to come up with something new and amazing for the next one.

And then get incredible actors for every single part. Alfre frickin' Woodard just randomly shows up in a tiny nothing of a bit part in Civil War. But it was a critical part that put the entire movie into motion, so they HAD to get Alfre Woodard. And her few minutes of screen time works. So well. In lesser, cheaper hands, it might not have.

The wild success of Marvel movies is not a fluke or a mistake. They are designed to be successful. I remember reading somewhere that Chadwick Boseman always thought that his appearance in Civil War would be a one-off cameo before signing his deal. Given how other studios would probably do exactly that, it's no wonder that he thought this. Obviously Marvel had other plans. They're more than that.

I live in constant fear of Kevin Feige retiring as the mastermind behind these movies. The guy gets it. His successor might not. And these movies have been too good in his hands.

Gizmodo has a story on the ten projects that James Gunn is overseeing for the new DC Comics Universe of movies and shows.

Gizmodo has Creature Commandos listed as "Creative Commandos" which is hilarious. — All I can say that is if these projects were from anybody but James Gunn, I would be laughing my ass off. What's odd is that the new Superman and Batman films aren't coming out until 2025... which is later than I'd thought it would be, but still pretty ambitious. An entirely new universe debuts in just two years? Again... if it were anybody but James Gunn, I'd be laughing my ass off. My comments below...

Creative (s/b CREATURE!) Commandos (An animated HBO Max show) — It's like... what a bizarre choice. An entire series devoted to monster soldiers? Sounds like a Halloween special, but okay. Something tells me that this was in process before James Gunn took the big chair (with Peter Safran).

Waller (A live-action HBO Max show) — I really hope that Viola Davis is in this, because she's SUCH an amazing actor. UPDATE: Confirmed that it will indeed be Davis.

Superman: Legacy (Theatrical film) — I am confident that James Gunn will find a way to make Superman relevant while also interesting... something that Zack Snyder wasn't able to do AT ALL. I am a bit concerned that the whole "Gods & Monsters" arc for the New DCU will fall into the same trap that Snyder fell into, but it's James Gunn... so... yeah. Maybe.

Lanterns (A live-action HBO Max show) — The Green Lantern movie was a pile of shit so bad that I couldn't believe some of my favorite actors were involved. Terrible, terrible movie. A show might be a way to showcase the many interesting Green Lanterns from the comics, so it could be a very cool show to watch. UPDATE: Apparently this will be terrestrial-based, meaning that it's mostly Hal Jordan and John Stewart stories, so we'll see.

The Authority (Theatrical film) — Now this could be interesting! The comics started out SO good, and if they did a straight adaptation it could be fantastic... so long as it's an R-rated movie, because otherwise why bother?

Paradise Lost (A live-action HBO Max show) — Amazons, I guess. Could be something that pre-dates Wonder Woman to give her eventual debut good context. I hope that they don't fuck up the Greek gods like the (otherwise excellent) Wonder Woman movie did. They're saying it's their "Game of Thrones" so who knows?

The Brave and the Bold (Theatrical film) — Batman & Robin? In my early comic book days, The Brave and the Bold was alway Batman PLUS some other DC Hero (or villain!) teaming up. But still... I will be very interested to see what Gunn has in mind for Batman. Hopefully something more like the Nolan trilogy instead of the emo-goth bullshit we got from the last Batman movie! UPDATE: It's going to be the Damion Wayne version of Robin which is the best news possible. I hope that they make him a little nuts without taking him full-on psycho, because the majority of kids just don't have the acting chops to pull that off very well.

Booster Gold (A live-action HBO Max show) — A LONG time coming. Like... this should have been done a decade ago. I love the character, and hope that eventually the show transitions into the "Blue & Gold" show I've been dreaming of (Booster Gold and Blue Beetle as made amazing by Keith Giffen). Hopefully they get a writer with decent comedy chops to do this right.

Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow (Theatrical film) — Poor Supergirl. The character herself is so interesting... as shown in the Animated DC shows... but her lone live-action movie was trash (despite having Faye Dunaway and Peter O'Toole!). I really, really hope that they hire a truly great FEMALE writer AND director to do this movie right. She deserves it. And there's plenty of great comics to be inspired from.

Swamp Thing (Theatrical film) — Lord. There are a lot of other DC characters I would have put in a film before Swampy. His good TV show was not so long ago (2019), and the idea of a complete film has already been done. Soooo many other movies would have been a better idea than this. I hope "Swamp Thing: The Movie" ends up worth stepping all over others that deserved it more.

I want a Legion of Super-Heroes live-action HBO Max show. I want a Black Canary & Green Arrow show. I want a REAL Justice League movie. I want a Deadman series. I really want a Zantana movie. Where's an Amethyst animated series at? And holy crap... how cool would an Adam Strange series be? Is Guy Gardner going to appear in Lanterns? Because a show for HIM would be great. So many possibilities!

I'm more confident in the DCU now than I was as we suffered through all the Zack Snyder crap, which makes me happy. Nobody wants successful DC movies than me (with the exception of the upcoming Shazam: Fury of the Gods and The Flash: Flashpoint, both of which star highly problematic actors that I really wish would just go away and take their bullshit with them.

I've been crapping on Apple a lot lately.

But not without reason.

Apple used to be the GOLD STANDARD in interface design. Everything was incredibly well-thought-out and intuitive. But now-a-days? Most everything they do is shit. And I simply don't understand why. Yes, Steve Jobs is gone, but surely there are people in Apple who give a crap about making sure that you can use their apps without wanting to beat the shit out of somebody?

But apparently not.

Because I was reminded about this when I was having to use the GUI abomination that is the AppleTV app (whether it's on a Mac, AppleTV, iPad, or iPhone). This app has been shit for ages. It was made even worse when Apple decided to prioritize AppleTV+ over absolutely everything... ramming their service down your throat like a fucking jackhammer. Even over content you purchased. Like when you search for the movie Ted...

But that's just the beginning with their idiotic search. Want to search your library? You can't just click on LIBRARY and search. If you do that, you'll end up searching within AppleTV+ and their media store content. Oh no. To search your library, you have to type into the SECOND smaller search box. And do you know how many times I forget to use the tiny box? ALL THE FUCKING TIME! And do you know why? The second smaller search box DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST UNTIL YOU CLICK ON A TINY FUCKING MAGNIFYING ICON THAT'S UNDER THE SEARCH BOX!!!

Only then does the search box even bother to appear...

Absolute fucking lunacy.

But wait! It gets worse! Let's say that you use the universal search box anyway to get to your movie because you forgot about the smaller search box. What happens then? As you see from the first screenshot above, you have no fucking clue where the movie is at. Is it on AppleTV+? Is it in the store? Do you have to buy it? Do you own it? Who the fuck knows?

You have to click through to see where in the hell it comes from. In this case, I own it... although it doesn't tell me I own it... I just have to infer that I own it because there's a "Play" button instead of a price tag...

But let's say you're on your AppleTV and don't want to type out the title to get to it since it's a huge pain in the ass? Well, then you get to scroll through your entire fucking catalog of titles! And since I own hundreds of them, that will take a while. Let's say that I want to watch the movie 4th Man Out. With Apple, it's scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling because Apple puts numbers after letters...

Here it is! Right after Zoolander...

Let's compare that to how Plex allows you to navigate. I use Plex to catalog all my ripped DVDs (which is a legal backup of my massive DVD library). Since I paid for 4th Man Out both digitally and on DVD, it's in both places. Although since Plex puts numbers in front of letters, I don't have to actually scroll anywhere. It's right there at the start...

Not really a fair contest. So let's try another. Zoolander. Another movie I bought on both DVD and digitally. With iTunes, I have to scroll through hundreds of titles to get to it. But look on the right hand side of the Plex interface. See those letters there? No scrolling needed. I just click on "Z" and there it is!

This is especially fantastic on the Plex app for AppleTV... which is far, far superior to what AppleTV itself actually offers.

How embarrassing.

HOW FUCKING EMBARRASSING FOR APPLE!

For the love of God, spend the tiniest fucking portion of your billions of dollars and DO SOMETHING!

Don't get me wrong... there's still a lot of companies who are even worse at this than Apple. But given where Apple started, this is nothing short of tragic.

And I have no idea what it's going to take to get Apple off their stupid asses to actually fix this crap.

Welp, you know what time it is... my annual wrap-up of my favorite films of the year! Or, to be more accurate, my favorite films that I actually saw. Which is still not as many as usual, thanks to COVID, but here we are.

THE EIGHTEEN BEST...
These are my favorite movies from this year that I actually saw.

#1 Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (Marvel Studios)
Well this is kinda a no-brainer for me, isn't it? And that wasn't always a given when you consider that Black Panther himself... Chadwick Boseman... tragically passed before filming began. In lesser hands, this would have been a disaster. But Ryan Cooler channeled that loss into something that was far better than it had a right to be. Oddly enough, that's largely thanks to Marvel finally bringing Namor to the screen... brilliantly realized by Tenoch Huerta. The story is a bit meandering for a while, but once it finds its footing, everything just... works. It helps that the entire cast is fire, from Angela Basset on down. To say anything about the story is to spoil the story. Suffice to say that I hope Ryan Cooler isn't done with Wakanda yet... and they can give M'Baku his own Disney+ series any day now. Just back up a truck filled with money to Winston Duke's front door and get it done.

#2 Wedding Season (Netflix)
Yeah, it's a rom-com on Netflix... but it's an incredibly good rom-com. With a Bollywood ending that is absolutely everything. Funny, charming, sweet, and a good story to boot... this is all you could ask for in a movie. Mothers set up their kids on an on-line dating site, and they both get so tired of it that they decide to fake-date. And then...

#3 Everything Everywhere All At Once (A24)
Whereas Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness has the multiverse hammered into it with a mallet, Everything Everywhere All At Once has the concept baked into the core of the movie and shows how a "multiverse" can be more than just a gimmick to introduce more characters and tease fans with "what-if" casting. On top of that you have Michelle Yeoh unleashing her full potential heading up a fantastic cast, and this movie was poised for greatness. And great it is. A woman whose life is in crisis from all angles gets sucked into an inter-dimensional plot to take over the multiverse... and has to battle her way out of it all to find herself. And the result couldn't have been more wacky, interesting, and wonderful.

4 The Unbearable weight of Massive Talent (Lionsgate)
"You're right, that is how you spook a bear. I apologize." I knew this would make my list half-way through watching the trailer, because the whole concept of Nicholas Cage playing Nicholas Cage and skewering his life is the kind of role that every Nicholas Cage fan dreams of. And, as a one-two follow-up to last year's brilliant Pig, I was ready for more Cage. But I didn't really have a handle on just how brilliant Cage's performance... and this entire film... was going to be. "Nick Cage" gets tangled up with a wealthy super-fan and the CIA, and the result is both hilarious and so very, very smart. Along the way we also get Pedro Pascal in a role so good that it makes me almost forget his part in the horrific Wonder Woman 2 debacle (seriously, I had to rewatch him smooth out the pillow over and over because he was so committed to it). I was tempted to put this movie in my #1 spot just because it was so much better than I thought it was going to be, but... Wakanda Forever.

#5 The Presence of Love (Hallmark)
I've decided to stop discounting Hallmark movies just because they're Hallmark movies when it comes to my yearly wrap-up (last year's The Baker's Son deserved more than an honorable mention). I had this movie playing as background noise many, many times... and ended up getting wrapped up in the story every time. This an achingly beautiful film featuring wonderful performances from everybody involved (including the little girl, who is fantastic), and features cinematography that could be set against major studio feature films. So much care was put into every scene to make sure moments are touching and honest without feeling artificial. Not an easy feat for Hallmark... or any studio, really.

#6 The People We Hate at the Wedding (Amazon Prime)
I think I laughed the harder at this movie than any other this year. A woman who's having an affair with a married man heads to England with family for a half-sister's wedding. The result is hilarious in all the right ways... but doesn't sacrifice a good story just for laughs. Where the movie really shines is the cast, which is perfectly realized for every role. Comedic chops for days, but with enough heart to go beyond superficial meandering, this movie was better than it had a right to be.

#7 Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness (Marvel Studios)
Doctor Strange comics at their best are when they take the character into weird and bizarre directions. Places other super-heroes can't traverse. In that respect, the second movie (Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness) is more like the comics I love. He's just made so imaginative and cool... using his powers in really creative ways to keep things interesting. The problem is that the story itself is a bit weak. By forcing the whole "multiverse" plotline on the film, they kinda undermined the character. I really hope that they put an end to the multiverse thing soon so more movies don't have to suffer through it.

#8 Top Gun: Maverick (Paramount)
Given the fact that this is pro-military enrollment propaganda, it's surprisingly smart. Tom Cruise is back to train a team of Naval aviators for an impossible mission... but also has to deal with the ghosts of his past when Goose's son is one of the pilots in the mix. Sure, there's a lot of wacky-ass impossible stuff going on, but the film is incredibly entertaining, which trumps the problems that pop up.

#9 Thor: Love and Thunder (Marvel Studios)
My favorite Marvel Studios movie is Thor: Ragnarok, because it's just such an incredible triumph. Funny, but with real stakes. Entertaining, but whip-smart. I was expecting Taika Waititi to dish up more of the same... and to a certain extent he does... but the smart edge from Ragnarok is completely abandoned this time around, and it's very noticeable. It's almost a parody at points. But still... the characters are great, the story has a point to make, and finally getting a resolution to Jane Foster's story adds up to a good movie.

#10 Confess Fletch (Miramax/Paramount)
I have watched the two Chevy Chase Fletch films more times than I can count. Because despite the fact that they deviate from the books in numerous ways, they were still darn entertaining. Confess Fletch strays back towards the character of the book and ditches the corny disguises that defined Chevy's take. What John Hamm does with the material is, in so many ways, just as funny... but also feels much smarter. This time around Fletch is framed for murder and has to find the real murderer while staying one step ahead of the police (and his new girlfriend). Doesn't hurt that the mystery is pretty good (even though the solution isn't that surprising).

#11 Cha Cha Real Smooth (Apple Studios)
Two years ago Cooper Raiff unleashed Shithouse and I became an instant fan. Now he's back with a movie that is better in just about every way. And how he manages to not take the easy or expected route in his films... but still manages to create such satisfying movies... is beyond me. All this and he's actually a really good actor on top of of being an exceptional writer and director. The setup for Cha Cha Real Smooth is like films you've seen dozens of times before... and yet the payoff is so much better because it's not like films you've seen dozens of times before. You end up feeling completely different about some characters at the end than you did in the beginning, and that takes true talent to accomplish because most times when this is attempted it just feels so fake and unearned. I'm not going to say anything about the story, because the less prepared you are the more you'll like it.

#12 Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (A24)
Marcel is a shell and he has shoes on. He lives with his grandmother and he's trying to find his family. The result is heartwarming and brilliant. There's a part of me who wanted to put this movie at #1 just to get people to watch it... it's that good and that deserving... and if I were a little smarter, I would have. Even so, just give it a shot.

#13 Bullet Train (Columbia)
It's an assassin free-for all and the stakes couldn't be higher. What's surprising about this balls-out action flick is that it wasn't dumbed down, as it's fairly complex and has plots within plots. The entire cast was amazing... but Brad Pitt was just beyond. He has a way of making casual characters be capable of carrying an entire movie, which is a rare talent. Bloody fun!

#14 Prey (Hulu)
The sequels which followed the awesome original Predator range from bad to awful, so I wasn’t holding out much hope for a direct-to-Hulu fifth film. Much to my surprise, it’s easily my favorite since the original… and actually surpasses it in a number of ways. A prequel to Predator taking place in the early 1700’s, Prey follows a young Comanche healer who wants to prove herself as a hunter... and stumbles upon the ultimate prey... a Predator. What follows is a very clever reimagining of the original concept that feels completely fresh. Violent and brutal from the start, it’s not for the week at heart, but an entertaining ride despite it all.

#15 Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers (Disney)
This masterpiece of mockery is hilariously depraved. From ruthlessly skewering Hollywood (including everything Disney) to making fun of more franchises than I can count, everything about this film seems impossible (it’s got E.T. vs. Batman, for heaven’s sake!). How in the heck Disney ever allowed it to be made is a mystery. When their old colleague Monterey Jack is abducted, Chip n’ Dale have to put their contentious past behind them so they can team up and save him. John Mulaney and Andy Samburg were odd choices to voice Disney’s famous chipmunks, but in the context of this film it’s gold. Anything I say past that is a potential spoiler, and that reason alone guaranteed it would land in my Best Of list. If you’ve got Disney+ and can appreciate self-referential humor in high doses, this is essential viewing.

#16 RRR (DVV)
Look, either you will be able to buy into this movie 1000% and enjoy every minute that it is blowing your mind with unreal absurdity... or you won’t. If you can buy into it, you’re in for a Tollywood treat of epic proportions. If you can’t? Well, there’s no hope for you. I’ve watched many a Bollywood and Tollywood movie, so it was easy for me to buy into the men-as-gods theming and a bromance that is about as good as it gets.

#17 The Gray Man (Netflix)
Ryan Gosling has gone from an actor whose films I've avoided... to being an actor which will get me to watch a movie I might have otherwise not bothered with. As "The Gray Man" he's a CIA top operative who comes across information that will blow the lid off of the agency that he's devoted his life to. That's not going to please people in power, so they send assassins after him to make sure that the information never sees the light of day. While I didn't exactly love this movie, I did find its action to be endlessly entertaining with a terrific cast. I don't think that it did as well as expected for Netflix, which is a real shame. This has "franchise potential" written all over it, and I would love to see the character come back for another round.

#18 Glass Onion (Netflix)
Rian Johnson completely reinvigorated the Agatha-Christie-style-murder-mystery with Knives Out, and now he and Daniel Craig are back with a new murder mystery. I'm just going to come out and say it... the mystery itself is not that great. But the cast is frickin' fantastic, and their characters are so mind-bogglingly entertaining as to make the movie worth your valuable time. I will give them credit for literally saying that the murder is "stupid"... within the actual film, and that goes a long way towards me appreciating what was done. Because, yeah, people are stupid.

HONORABLE MENTION...

• The Adam Project (Netflix)
  Yeah, Ryan Reynolds coasts through this one with only a minimal commitment to his character, but that still makes him more entertaining than 95% of Hollywood. This time around he is a guy from the future who has to go back in time to fix a problem... with the help of his younger self. And while not in any way groundbreaking, it was darn fun to watch. It also had a story that wasn't terrible, assuming you don't think about it too hard. If you're a fan of Ryan Reynolds and sci-fi fun, this is the movie for you.
• Nope (Universal)
  It's Jordan Peele doing what Jordan Peele does in a way that only Jordan Peele can. And while this doesn't reach the heights of Get Out or Us, it does have enough smart unease to make it a great watch. Basically a UFO is stalking a horse ranch, and the past proves important to understanding what's happening and how to survive.
• Strange World (Disney)
  This is an action-packed 3D animated feature from Disney that has some of the most incredible visuals in a film you'll ever see. Unfortunately, that alone can't save it from a mediocre story that has its heart in the right place when it comes to environmentalism and inclusivity, but lacks any kind of subtlety or tact in presenting its ideas. Everything's just so painfully basic that the imaginative locations and creatures are dragged down.
• Lightyear (Disney)
  This was a pretty darn good movie. But there was a serious problem… they made the supporting cast incredibly stupid and incompetent way too often. It kind of sabotaged things for me, because it’s just so unnecessary. But still... exciting stuff. And Sox is one of my new favorite animated characters.
• Bros (Warner Bros.)
  The fact that Hollywood bankrolled a boy-meets-boy love story is enough to make me interested in the film. Alas Billy Eichner is so roundly annoying at the start that I was ready to tune out in the first ten minutes. But then everything kinda gels together when Billy stops building his entire character on being horrible and the story sets in. Ultimately it's a film that's more entertaining than not, though not so much that you'll feel the need to ever watch it again.
• Dog (MGM)
  Channing Tatum is a former Army Ranger suffering from PTSD but trying to get his job back so he has purpose in his life again. An opportunity presents itself when he is charged with delivering his friend's Military Working Dog to his friend's funeral. Unfortunately, the dog is traumatized and acts out in ways that makes the task easier said than done. The result is a movie that's funny, heartwarming, and sweet in equal measure.

DIDN'T SEE, MIGHT HAVE MADE MY LIST...

• The Woman King
• Wendell & Wild
• Ambulance
• Emancipation
• Pinocchio (Guillermo del Toro version)
• Triangle of Sadness
• Something in the Dirt
• Three Thousand Years of Longing
• Barbarian
• Avatar: The Way of Water

OVERRATED BUT STILL GOOD...

• Hustle
  Sandler is very, very hit or miss for me. There are films like 50 First Dates that convince me he has actual charm and talent to carry a movie... then he goes and makes five other films that completely blow. This time he's a scout for the NBA and really leans into his "everyman" persona to tell a good story. But it's ultimately pretty basic and doesn't deliver on what I'm expecting from a movie with 90% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes.
• The Northman
  I was seriously expecting this Viking movie to completely blow me away given the amount of critical acclaim that was unloaded upon it. I was underwhelmed. Not that it was bad... it just kind of mindless and lacking in heart, which left me more uninvested than I should have been. Even so, it was a pretty good watch.

DISAPPOINTING...

• The Batman
  Lord. Where do I start? The Batman had a lot of hype that gave me hope, but it doesn't get anywhere near touching the terrific Nolan trilogy. Heck, it doesn't even get close to the two Michael Keaton films. It's probably on-par with the Joel Schumacher movies for their idiocy, but The Batman at least tried to respect the character. Unfortunately it's a boring, morose, joyless slog of a film that made me long for Ben Affleck's take on the character. My favorite Batman is the detective who's good in a fight. But here we get an emo goth take that just didn't work for me. Zoë Kravitz made a darn good Catwoman, but I spent all her scenes wishing that she was doing something better (like her great canceled show, High Fidelity) than wasting her time with this. And, alas, the sexual tension with Batman was non-existent. And don't get me started with The Riddler, who was badly handled from the start and spent his pivotal scenes yelling to no effect.
• Uncharted
  I’m just going to say it... Tom Holland was woefully miscast as Nathan Drake, so even he couldn’t save this movie for me. As great as he is in the Spider-Man films playing a young Peter Parker, he’s bland and charmless stepping into the iconic video game character. It’s like they tried so hard to start a new Indiana Jones franchise... but missed by a country mile. The story is awful and lacks any kind of excitement despite the writer’s best efforts. They added some potentially interesting action (including a wacky green-screen ship to ship battle in mid-air), but none of it is enough to get your heart racing. I was uninvested and bored throughout.
• Black Adam
  Look, nobody is rooting for DC to finally make good super-hero movies again more than me. I long for the excellence of Nolan's Batman trilogy to be the rule rather than the exception. And I had exceedingly high hopes for Black Adam to work. Except... it really doesn't. The first 20 minutes is exposition of the most boring kind laid over a story nobody gives a shit about, which is a mind-boggling choice. From there on out you get entertaining action beats that try to be stylish (if aping Zack Snyder's slo-mo stylings count) interspersed between even more idiotic exposition (the constant need to run through everybody's powers is godawful), and then... a pathetic, annoying kid skateboarder sidekick? Christ. I dunno. I guess seeing the Justice Society was kinda cool (Doctor Fate is the best part of the movie)... but everything is so badly written, has stupid fucking music choices, and all attempts at humor fall completely flat. This is a terrible flick, and I sincerely hope that James Gunn can fix everything that's been going wrong with the DCU for far too long.

TOTALLY SHIT THE BED...

• Morbius
  Horrific from start to finish with a story that sucked harder than the vampires in it.
• Jurassic World: Domination
  This franchise just keeps getting worse and worse. They tried shoe-horning in some characters from the original to make people like it better. And it doesn't work. I hope they let these movies rest for a while before coming back with an entirely fresh take on the concept, because... yikes.
• Blonde
  An absolute fucking travesty. I had to stop watching a couple times just because I was so disgusted in how they went for full-on exploitation of Marilyn and her life. Doesn't matter that Ana de Armas is darn good in the lead, because the story is just a slog through depression and a complete mess.
• Moonfall
  Just goes to show you that even Halle Berry can be in a total turd of a film. This was an emotionally bankrupt story with no redeeming qualities. And, as if that wasn't bad enough, it wasn't enjoyable or entertaining due to just how damn stupid it is. I hope to God that the planned sequel is canceled so that the money wasted on it can be better spent.

I watch television with subtitles always on now. It's not that I'm having trouble with my hearing or anything like that... it's just that I don't want to miss anything. Whether it's because a character is difficult to understand... or the sound mix is awful... or there's information otherwise getting lost.

The most interesting part of subtitltes to me is the music descriptions.

(upbeat music begins)

(music turns darker)

(music growns louder and more intense)

(pensive music continues)

And my favorite... ( 🎵 )

The subtitles for sexytime is something for another post (moaning increases).

Be thankful that's all over... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• GoTGv3! Looks like Rocket is going to be an experiment by the High Evolutionary in the MCU, which makes perfect sense. Can't wait for this movie...

I'm sad it's the last Guardians film. But who knows where these characters will pop up next?

   
• Oh My! I had heard pieces of this story before, but not all together like this...

Epic. And hysterical.

   
• Balance! Some of the wealth on display here is... staggering...

My checking account is positively anemic by comparison.

   
• The Mickey Mantle Letter. Definitely NSFW material (in text), so proceed at your own risk... but holy crap!

   
• Dial of Destiny! Sure looks better than Kingdom of the Crystal Skull...

And hopefully it is better, because nothing would make me happier than Indy going out on a high note.

   
• Rogue Wave! It seems odd to me that cruise ships sail to Antarctica. I went on a research vessel that was built like a tank with limited people onboard, and the water got so rough that one person ended up with a compound fracture and others were hurt. Our boat was tossed around like a cork in a blender, and it still feels miraculous that we made it through without suffering more injuries than we did. But a cruise ship?? That just seems like a recipe for disaster. And for this ship it was.

   
Now I really need to take a long winter's nap.

Be thankful that's all over... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• GoTGHS. The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special was absolutely bonkers. I couldn’t have loved it more. Very interesting how they dropped a very important couple pieces of information in advance of Guardians of the Galaxy 3...

Really sad that James Gunn is heading up the DCU now, because he gave us something completely new in the MCU, and that's getting increasingly rare.

   
• The Star Wars. If I had to wager a guess, my favorite TV show of 2022 will be Andor. The show is spectacular. The best Star Wars to happen since The Empire Strikes Back. It's just so... real. And smart. And entertaining. And brilliant. But let's get back to the part about it being real...

Now that the final episode has aired, all I want to do is go back and watch it all over again. How's that for an endorsement?

   
• Into the Abyss. It's really tough to diminish the movies that James Cameron has created... though people are always trying. When you take a look at the major films in his writer/director oeuvre, of which there are currently just seven, he really doesn't falter. They are all mind-blowing, fascinating entertainment. So to hear him run through it all is kinda a different level of fascinating...

If I were to rank his movies, it would go something like this...

1. Aliens It's just so good on every possible level. It works as a sequel. It works on its own. It works for action. It works for thrills. It works for horror. It works as sci-fi. And absolutely everything about it is as cool as movies get. This is Cameron's masterpiece.
2. Terminator 2: Judgement Day Another sequel that takes everything good about the original and ramps it up to eleven... but this time from one of Cameron's own films.
3. The Terminator The film has haunted me from the day I saw it because it was gritty and real sci-fi that really makes you think.
4. True Lies Proving that Cameron can tackle any genre he sets his mind to, this action-comedy spy flick was so much better than it had a right to be. Most likely from the genius casting of Jamie Lee Curtis and Arnold Schwarzenegger in the leading roles.
5. The Abyss In many respects, this could be my favorite of his films. It certainly has one of his most shocking scenes that still makes me uncomfortable to this day just thinking about it. I saw this one in the theater three times because I just couldn't believe what I was seeing as I was watching it.
6. Avatar The film still holds up. Mostly. Kinda. I mean, yeah, it's a retread of other movies and stories (most notably Fern Gully) but it was a fully-realized world at a scale that was unheard of at the time. That alone made it worth a look. The special effects may be a bit dated, but ask anybody who saw this movie in 3D theaters circa 2009, and I bet money they still remember the experience as nothing less than groundbreaking.
7. Titanic It's just not my thing. But it was an entertaining way to kill three hours... and still is.

And of course Avatar 2 is coming very soon...

Given his track record with sequels, it's bound to be a darn good film. And considering it needs to gross $2 billion to break even, it had better be.

   
• Be Hated. Okay... of all the movies and TV shows I've seen this year, The People We Hate at the Wedding is the one I laughed at the hardest...

If you've got Amazon Prime, it's worth a laugh.

   
• Lisbeth. David Fincher's brilliant take on The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is one of my all-time favorite films. I was all kinds of mad that he never got to complete the trilogy. Sony instead cheaped out and "re-booted" the series with The Girl in the Spider's Web. I finally got around to watching it, and now I'm mad all over again. Lisbeth Salander is one of the best and most iconic fictional female characters ever created... nuanced and complex, using her smarts to outwit and outplay truly awful people. But now? It's just balls-out vanilla action hero that's been done dozens of times before (and done better... by Yu Shu Lien, Charly Baltimore, and many others). It would be comical if it weren't so sad...

If this is what the books are like after Stieg Larsson's original works, I am beyond thankful that I never bothered to read them. I mean, okay, the movie is a nice distraction (by a director who is obviously trying very hard to be David Fincher), and Claire Foy is not bad as Lisbeth. But this isn't Lisbeth Salander. It's a pale shadow of what she is... and should have been in this film.

   
• Beyond the Obvious. NEWSFLASH: Eli Lilly CEO says insulin tweet flap “probably” signals need to bring down cost. — PROBABLY?! YA THINK?!?? YOU CHARGE $250 FOR SOMETHING THAT COSTS $5 TO MAKE, ASSHOLE!! What good are all these "new and improved" drugs if only people with money can afford to buy them? Big Pharma has been lining the pockets of politicians for decades to not do anything about their price gouging. Washington State Senator Patty Murray has probably piled up a half-million dollars by now to keep Big Pharma profits at absurd margins. Little Timmy may not be able to afford insulin to keep him alive, but hey... Eli Lilly just bought another private jet for their CEO, so it's all good. Great job, Patty! Fuck.

   
• Steve! Even though I was way, way, way past the intended audience for Blue's Clues, I was a fan. I watched the show. I had some of the toys. I even had a "Handy Dandy Notebook" laying around. It was just such a pure explosion of creativity that I couldn't look away. And Steve Burns being so invested in his character was part of the reason why....

He's still got it.

   
Until next week then.