One Beyond Meat "Stack" Burger? Delicious! Wonderful! One of my favorite things to eat! Seriously, I like them better than an Impossible Whopper, which is something I didn't think was possible.

"Diarrhea after eating Beyond Meat is often caused by the product's high fat content (coconut oil), fiber, or specific, highly processed ingredients like pea protein and methylcellulose, which can cause digestive upset. Users reported symptoms like stomach cramps, nausea, and vomiting."

Well alrighty then!

Guess I won't be eating my "Stack" burger... um... stacked, because that was a never-ending experience I don't want to re-live any time soon. Fortunately my medicine cabinet was stocked up with Imodium. This is an excellent dieting tool. It forces you to eat only one. And if you can't resist and end up eating more than one, then you'll shit yourself stupid, thus you'll end up with the calories of less than one!

I gotta say, this is a crazy turn of events. For my entire life I've traveled the world eating dicey foodstuffs from even dicier places and was never worse for wear. But now I cook a veggie burger and end up glued to the toilet.

Say! Maybe Beyond Burgers could be used as a delicious colonoscopy prep! And now...

   
DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS POINT! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED! TOO MUCH INFORMATION FOLLOWS!

Do you want to know how I knew it was the Beyond Burgers causing my explosive diarrhea? It smelled like Beyond Burgers! My bathroom reeked of deliciousness! Kinda. I guess.

You could not pay me to watch the State of the Union address. I am so done with the hate and lies that I don't have the fortitude to endure it.

Especially knowing that the Institute of Taxation and Economic Policy... a non-partisan non-profit organization who does analysis on the taxes we pay... reminds us that unless you're a millionaire or billionaire where your taxes went down, you're paying more fucking taxes now, and have less to show for it because you're losing government services so that millionaires and billionaires can pay less...

You can read all the depressing details on their site here.

In other words, the people who can least afford to pay more are paying more, and the people who have an ungodly amount of money are paying less. Which shows you exactly who the current administration is working for... the top 5% of us. So I hope you have a fucking shit-ton of money so you're getting some kind of benefit out of the shit-show that's become our daily reality.

Shocker.

It's just like where all the economists said that the illegal tariffs will worsen the economy. Then that's exactly what happened, and people are all "HOW COULD WE HAVE KNOWN THIS WOULD HAPPEN?" Well, maybe trusting a guy who could bankrupt a fucking casino would be a good start.

Or you could have just read Project 2025, where everything that's been done was spelled out with alarming clarity.

So... what am I doing if I'm not watching television?

1. Cleaning my toilets because if I don't, hard water stains will build up.
2. Drilling holes in my wall so I can install an in-wall cable kit.

And then I'm going to try to get some sleep. Or try to while knowing I'm paying more in taxes so billionaires can have a better life.

Last Friday I had a meeting for work in The Big City. I didn't finish in time to get back to the office before quitting time, so I decided to go to Petco for kitty litter and then Costco. I renewed my decade-long-expired membership to support them after they decided to say "Fuck your anti-DEI bullshit," but haven't actually shopped in a store. Instead I bought a few things via Mail Order.

I was surprised that now you scan your membership card to get in the store instead of showing it to a door guard. Though there's still a door guard because my membership didn't have a digital photo attached. They asked me if I wanted a physical card and I declined because I assumed I could add a digital card to my Apple Wallet. But you can't? You have to use the Costco app. Oh well.

Because it was a Friday at 3:30, Costco was incredibly busy. Way, way too busy for me to be comfortable.

Because the more people in a place, the bigger the possibility you're going to run into assholes.

And assholes I did find. Three incidents stand out...

1. The couple who KEPT. BLOCKING. THE. AISLES. I ran to another part of the store... twice... because of this asshole couple. And it didn't matter. I would run back into them again eventually. PULL YOUR FUCKING CART OVER TO THE SIDE AND DON'T BLOCK ENTRANCES/EXITS TO AISLES! It's fundamentally stupid that this even has to be explained. But people like this don't give a shit because they don't give a fuck about anybody but themselves. It was especially awful because it was so busy.
2. Racism. Because of course. I was standing in the cracker & chip aisle looking for crackers. Next to me was a couple talking to somebody in Spanish. They were bothering nobody. Oh... wait... racist pieces of shit are always bothered, and as a couple rounded the corner, they were compelled to say "I'm tired of hearing Mexican. They're everywhere." Because apparently "Mexican" is a language now? Well, I'd rather hear people speaking "Mexican" than hearing them speaking hatred on people who are just existing. So whatever.
3. I do not work here. A man diverted his shopping cart towards me and asked me a question. I replied that I didn't know. And he said "Oh. You don't work here?" which I found odd. Then, not ten minutes later, a different man rolled up to me and said "Do you work here?" When I responded in the negative, he barked "THEN WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A CART?!?" And I was thinking "Excuse me? You are required to have a cart to shop here?" And you know what I did? I went and got a frickin' cart to put my crackers in.

An asshole-unrelated problem is that Costco isn't laid out very well. When the checkout lines back up, they completely cut off the snack aisles at the front of the store. This is probably a good thing for me... I don't need to be eating loads of snacks... but it is disappointing. Who knows what tasty goodness I could have discovered.

So... yeah... thus ended my adventure in Costco.

Insomnia has been kicking my ass, but I'm not letting that stop me... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Punch-kun! I ran across the tragic story of the macaque snow monkey "Punch-kun" because I still follow Japanese news. Punch was abandoned my his mother and took comfort in an IKEA stuffed orangutan named "Djungelskog." There were numerous photos of the poor little guy doing his best to find acceptance and love from a plushie...

But then, after days on his own, he finally got a hug from one of his troop...

So that's nice. Especially after the shit-show of a week we've had.

   
• Whither Pixar? When Onward was released in 2020, it was a turning point for me when it came to Pixar. With one exception, I didn't like any of these films. And I never really understood why. I never bothered to search my feelings to understand what it was about Pixar that was turning me off. Then this morning I saw this...

And there it is. The reason there's one exception to Pixar from 2020 onward? It's because I've been to the coastal Italian towns which inspired the film Luca. I have a personal connection to the movie because I can draw on an experience that I've had. It's also why I can like a movie like Elio, but not fall in love with it.

   
• Dave Smash! I've been a big Morningstar Farms fan since becoming vegetarian decades ago. I veered away to Boca Burger for my burgers because they had superior taste and mouthfeel, but after Kraft bought them out and fucked up the recipe, I went back to Morningstar Grillers. They aren't great, and you have to know how to cook them so the texture isn't awful, but at least I'm not gagging them down. And then... Beyond Meat released Beyond Stack Burgers...

Now, I should say that Beyond does make an actual smash burger product, but they're not sold near me and aren't meant to be frozen (though you can), which means you have to eat them the day you open the package. The "stack" version always come frozen and are meant to stay frozen until used. Which means I don't have to eat them all after opening the package. But anyway... I found that I can get the Beyond Stack Burgers locally (well, 25-minutes away locally, but still). I absolutely love these burgers. A little high in sodium (260mg per patty), but not atrocious. They also cook weird, with a strange foamy residue in the pan, but the results are tasty enough when you smash them that I just don't care. As a bonus, Beyond has packaging that actually works... unlike shitty Morningstar Farms packaging which I hate, hate, hate.

   
• Thor Tells Jokes! I really want to see this standup as a special... where is Netflix when you really need them?

Hearing this makes me want to watch Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King again. It's a highly personal work which happens to be very, very funny. And touching.

   
• The Dow! The Dow! This is an absolute banger...

I couldn't even watch the hearing because Bondi is a gaping fucking asshole. Instead of using her position to serve the American people and seek justice, she's conspiring to protect child predators. She's such a massive pile of lying fucking shit that any time she speaks I see red, so I don't put myself in a position to watch. Thanks to this video, I can see the highlights in a way that doesn't make me want to hide under my bed and start screaming.

   
• SANDIWARA! Given my love of all things Michelle Yeoh, I was thrilled when a friend shared this with me...

The comments having people saying this should be a Malaysian tourism video. I cannnot disagree. This definitely makes me want to visit Penang (I've only ever been to Kuala Lumpur in the country).

   
• Finalizada! Basílica i Temple Expiatori de la Sagrada Família... AKA the Sagrada Familia basilica, is finally nearing completion. After 144 years...

Fascinating. I've visited Sagrada Familia three times over a 20 year span. It never seemed like it was any closer to being completed. Now that we're so close, it feels like it might be time to visit Barcelona again. Not that I need an excuse... it's one of my favorite cities on earth.

   
• Sci-Fi Entertainment! This list isn't perfect, but dang if it doesn't make me want to re-watch every one of these films...

Even though I've already seen all of them more than once. Some of them many times.

   
And now back to needing more sleep.

I talk to my cats... like... all the time. Especially when they talk to me.

They answer back but, don't worry, I'm not pretending I can understand them. At least not yet. It's entirely possible that sometime in the future I'll finally have that mental break that will take me all the way.

Because I reply to my cats when they talk to me, they are talking more and more. Jenny will alter how she meows based on whether she's mad, happy, hungry, wanting to be petted, or is frustrated. Her "mad" meow is very noticeably different than everything else she says. So she's fairly easy to decode.

Jake, on the other hand, just squawks. He can't meow for some reason. Which means I have no idea what's going through his furry little head and have to guess. Usually he wants attention. But sometimes he is looking for a toy or wants food... and it's a matter trial and error to get him figured out.

Ever since I got back from Kansas City, Jake has been spending a lot of time sitting on me. Assumably because he doesn't want me to leave again...

Fortunately, the only "leaving" I will be doing for quite a while is going to work. But I'll be back at the end of the day so I can be pinned to my couch.

The other day I got an email from somebody who was reading through all my posts from the start. This is something even I am not brave enough to do, so I commend them on their bravery.*

But anyway...

New Blogography reader Jacob pointed out that I invented the "low fare calendar" in 2005 before airlines started using low fare calendars...

Interesting to note that I was using Northwest Airlines as an example, but that airline doesn't even exist because this was 20 years ago!

Kinda funny. I wonder what other stuff is rolling around on this blog that I should have patented when I had the chance?

   
*Though I've often thought that I should go through all my 23 years of entries and do a series of posts where I comment on them with updates or whatever. How fun would that be?

On New Year's Day I did something a little crazy. I ordered all the movies I own by their release date, then started watching them in order from oldest to newest.

It's quite an enjoyable way to be entertained. I started with the oldest movie in my collection, The Thin Man (1934), then moved on through The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951), The Glenn Miller Story (1954), North by Northwest (1959), and a slew of James Bond movies (plus 2001: A Space Odyssey). From there the 70's came along, which included a slew of classics (like Star Wars, Grease, Foul Play, Death on the Nile, Superman: The Movie, Alien, Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Airplane)...

...and then the 80's hit with The Empire Strikes Back and then Xanadu (1980)...

I am not a fan of musicals. But I loved A) Olivia Newton John, B) Electric Light Orchestra, and C) Greek mythology... so I saw it in the theater with friends when I was in high school. While not a great movie, it was an entertaining spectacle with phenomenal music.

And beautiful Olivia Newton John in that amazing dress she wore, of course.

Every night since I saw the film 46 years ago, I've said a little prayer to Zeus that these dresses come back into fashion. Because, damn...

No joke. The muses wouldn't be sexier if they were naked. Yeah, the wardrobe is very 80's... but I think that's why I'm so into it. It's retro-chic-sexy in a way that we never quite got back to. Even animated...

And of course I fell down a rabbit hole...

The movie actually plays better in 2026 than it did when it was released somehow.

I worked a very long day, but after arriving home I couldn't help but feel as though it was Sunday and the end of my weekend. No idea why. Maybe it's because I traveled all day Sunday, and Monday was a holiday for me? Whatever the case, all my plans to clean house, unpack my suitcase, and wash clothes went out the window because I felt displaced and exhausted.

So I caught up on A Knight of The Seven Kingdoms instead.

I wish I remembered more about the book, but that was 25 years ago. From what little I do remember, the series is faithful to the source material. I don't remember the flashbacks in the fifth episode, but I appreciate that they tried to flesh out Ser Duncan as a character with a backstory which fit nicely into the battle.

With one episode left to go, I am hopeful that they don't fuck it up at the end. The awful taste of the final season of Game of Thrones is still in my mouth, so you can forgive me having doubts.

One thing I can't get over is just how impeccably cast the leads are. Peter Claffey as Dunk and Dexter Sol Ansell as Egg are just too good to be true...

With each episode they do not falter. The show could have so very easily collapsed under a shitty child lead, but dang is he good. Duncan the Tall is a character that could have gone badly wrong if the actor didn't have a subtlety that felt authentic, but Claffey feels like he's inhabiting the character in a way that works for the series every minute he's on-screen. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms makes you appreciate brilliant casting at a level many shows can only hope to reach.

And, on that note, I guess I'll try to get some sleep.

Something which, understandably, hasn't been easy for me after my sojourn to Kansas City.

It is astonishing to me the mental gymnastics that people are doing in order to justify protecting pedophiles. I would have never in a million years have thought that people would ever endorse such a thing.

And yet here we are.

And I have no fucking clue why. The further down the rabbit hole I fall, the more inexplicable it becomes.

And, no, Pam Bondi did not actually say this. But her actions make it clear she might say this.

In all honesty... does a system deserve to stand if it built around protecting those who would sexually assault children?

Hell no.

So burn this mother-fucker down. I don't give a shit who gets prosecuted or what the consequences are.

Sucked in again!

I haven't had access to Hallmark Channel since May 2024, but wanted a mindless watch on my flight home. So I ended up buying a movie called The Royal We for a bargain $8 on the iTunes Store. I picked it because I really like Mallory Jansen.

Turns out it's everything you could want in a Hallmark flick. It was so good that it instantly became one of my favorite Hallmark flicks. Sure it's the tired old "I'M SECRETLY A PRINCESS" movies, but that's not really the focus, which was a refreshing change. They also bypassed the "I'm so goofy and inept" idiocy that plagues secret royal movies. Nice.

SO... if you've been missing my Hallmark reviews and you're looking for a great Hallmark watch, here's your film.

You're welcome!