I am typing this will Jake on my chest. It's not going well. You'll have to forgive any misspellings.

So there was Jake... sticking his head in a bag. Again. I had my camera ready because I absolutely knew where this was headed...

But don't worry I reached over and pulled it off immediately after snapping the photo. I wanted a photo of Jake with Cheetos dust on his face, but he ran away in shame. And I'm like... I get it.

The guy never, ever learns. If I wasn't as careful as I am to pick the bags up, he'd do this once a week.

But before I go...

I saw this LEGO sculpture on social media and really wish I knew who to credit for it, because it's brilliant...

Apparently somebody needs to learn the importance of spaying or neutering your cat.

OCTOBER 20, 2023: Michigan teen's suicide highlights growing dangers of online sextortion plots.

I cannot fathom what it must be like being a teen today. I'm saying that life was a total picnic back when I was in high school, but there's just so much... more... to growing up now. The internet has changed absolutely everything.

It's increasingly easy to target people with scams and traps that could end up in tragedy, but teens have it especially hard given what they're already going through in life. This story happened back in 2023, but a recent sextortion case involving a teen has the story being shared around again.

Having to talk to your kids about uncomfortable topics like "sextortion" cannot be easy. But since the consequences of not doing so can be so dire, parents really have no choice. The cautionary tale of what can happen when you talk with strangers on the internet... or send nude photos... or, heaven forbid, reveal your address... is almost as essential as reading in today's world.

It's a definite shame, but it's where we're at.

And I hope everybody takes the time to check on the kids in their life so they can be better protected.

I'm a vegetarian. I choose to not eat meat. So imagine for a minute that I am a cook at a vegetarian restaurant. One day, the owner decides that we're going to start serving meat. I refuse to cook it because it goes against my vegetarian beliefs. The owner says "Well, that's the job. You either do the job or you can't work here." I not only refuse to cook meat, I also refuse to quit. Then I refuse to leave the restaurant. So the owner calls the police to have me removed. I go to jail for trespassing for five days. The owner says that this entire ordeal has made them decide to fire me, and they tell me to never come back.

And you should know that the entire time I was working for the vegetarian restaurant I was moonlighting as a cook for Burger King, McDonald's, and Kentucky Fried Chicken. And I was eating at McDonald's while I was cooking at Burger King.

Seven years later I petition the Supreme Court to ban meat completely.

Because if I don't want to eat it, nobody should have the freedom to eat it!

I'm not saying that I rushed home from work to catch Taylor Swift on the New Heights podcast. But I totally rushed home from work to catch Taylor Swift on the New Heights podcast.

I have never understood the hatred that some people have for this woman. If you hate her music, then fine. I can wrap my head around that. But to hate her for being... talented... popular... successful? When she's done absolutely nothing to them except exist? It boggles the mind.

I guess it comes with the territory of being famous.

But should it? To this extent? There are people who have absolutely relished the fact that her attempts to find love have failed. They take joy every time she goes through a breakup. They lay in wait every time she starts seeing somebody new just for the opportunity to laugh at her when she gets her heart broken.

Which is why I was happy to see her and Travis looking so happy together. And I can't help but hope their relationship lasts.

Regardless of how you feel about either of them, the interview is worth a watch. They're hilarious. And charming. And interesting.

"This podcast has done a lot for me. I owe a lot to this podcast. This podcast got me a boyfriend, ever since Travis decided to use it as his personal dating app two years ago."

"This kind of felt more like I was in an 80s John Hughes movie and he was standing outside my window with a boombox like 'I WANNA DATE YOU! DO YOU WANNA GO ON A DATE WITH ME? I MADE YOU A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET!' And I was like, if this guy's not crazy, this is sort of what I've been writing songs about wanting to happen to me since I was a teenager."

They're also... weirdly normal. A huge chunk of the interview is Taylor Swift being obsessed with baking sourdough bread.

But anyway...

Watch the interview. If, for no other reason, than to have fun watching one of the most famous people on earth in an interview where she seems more herself than you've seen before...

I sure hope that The Life of a Showgirl is more "1989" and "Reputation" and "Lover" than "Folklore" and "Evermore" and "The Tortured Poets Department." It would be fun to love her music again.

I have been trying to fill in some gaps in my collections on eBay whenever I have a dollar to spare. Most of the sellers on the platform are exceptional. They are honest about the item... they want you to be happy with your purchase... they go above and beyond if there's any issue. All the great experiences I have is what keeps me coming back.

And then there's the scams.

I bought two prints. I only received one.

Then I looked back through the comments from other buyers and found out that the seller does this ALL THE TIME. But it gets worse... the print I received was not authentic! The seller denied it, but let me return it.

Then the seller refused to refund the entire purchase price because the item "was not returned in the same condition." Fortunately, after I found out the seller was a scammer piece of crap, I thought to take a ton of photos.

Not only was it returned in the same condition I received it... I used the same packaging... THEN ADDED EXTRA PACKAGING AROUND IT!

But nope... the seller knew they were caught with a fake and claimed "damage" to get money out of me. Naturally I reported it to eBay. And, because other buyers had problems with the seller, I had my full refund within the hour. The fact that eBay stepped up to protect me from an obvious scammer is what will keep me a customer. But it doesn't make it any less stressful knowing that more scammers are out there.

One thing you can bet on... I will be reading the customer reviews very carefully going forward.

I wish I knew how I could be this tired all the time but never be able to sleep.

Cannot get my hands to stop smelling like the onions I just cut, but I'll try my best not to throw up on my keyboard... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Plague Doctor! I was researching the bubonic plague (don't ask). Eventually I got to Alexandre Émile John Yersin, the Swiss-French doctor who co-discoverer of the cause of the plague and figured out it was being spread by rats. He's a pretty amazing guy with some amazing accomplishments. But here's the thing... he's also a total snack. JUST LOOK AT THIS PHOTO!

He was apparently celibate, dedicating his entire life to making other people's lives better. Which he probably did by melting ovaries as he walked down the street. — And here's where it gets interesting... I remember the "American Market" in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon), which is also called "Yersin Market" because it's on Yersin Street, named after our boy here because he ended up moving to Vietnam for the remainder of his life of research (where he founded the Medical School of Hanoi, and was a pioneer in cultivating rubber trees!). When it comes to heroes of history, this guy is definitely on that list.

   
• Neverending! Nothing quite finding a cover of a song that you prefer over the original. This is pretty cool...

Not that the original Limahl track was bad by any means...

I just like the new synth arrangement of the material better.

   
• Addams! The first half of the second season of Wednesday is fun. And there's a couple cameos that are so flawlessly cast that I almost didn't believe it. Yeah, yeah, I know there are people who are big mad that it isn't faithful to the source material, but it can be its own thing and still be entertaining...

Though, to be honest, I still prefer the two films starring Raul Julia, Anjelica Huston, Christopher Lloyd, and Christina Ricci over any adaptation of the original The Addams Family comic.

   
• It's Doug! All the Jeopardy and Black Jeopardy sketches on SNL are hilarious, but I find myself watching this one at least every-other month...

The fact that Tom Hanks was willing to make fun of himself this badly makes it even more funny than it already was. And, of course, Mr. Hanks is no stranger to Jeopardy sketches... he has a hilarious role on Black Jeopardy...

Though Eddie Murphy's impersonation of Tracy Morgan in front of Tracy Morgan remains one of the funniest things I've ever seen...

You know it's funny when you can break Tracy Morgan while playing Tracy Morgan.

   
• Unhappy! Watched Happy Gilmore 2 last night. Good Lord. Was looking forward to something charming, nostalgic, and funny to distract me from the day... instead Netflix approved a two hour mess that's more depressing than funny. Adam Sandler is an alcoholic ass-hat who accidentally killed his wife at the very beginning of the movie? Hilarious...

You know you're in deep, deep trouble when you're looking forward to seeing Shooter McGavin more than the main character. Hell, you're happy to see anybody except Happy on the screen (Bad Bunny continues to surprise me with just how good he is... just like in Bullet Train, his character is a highlight). Fortunately, there's some genuinely funny moments and a lot of great cameos which allowed me to get through the film on nostalgia alone. But... come on... in a day and age when life is depressing enough, can we not do this? Killed his wife in the first two minutes? Really? This is where we're at?

   
• Just Fuck Off Already! Precious few people are a bigger piece of shit than Bill Maher. I have never understood his popularity. He has bad take after bad take based on misleading statements and outright lies, and has shown himself to be a dick of the highest order every chance he gets. I ignored him forever... until he was taken to school by Ben Affleck, of all people, over his shitty fucking Islamophobia. From then on I actively loathed him. Which is why Big Joel's latest video really hit for me. Well worth a watch...

Lord. If you want to be dishonest with your audience so you can be a self-righteous douche, nobody's stopping you. But if you actually think that's makes you a better person, who the fuck are you?

   
• Slop! I reported a Facebook page that is nothing more than fake AI-generated bullshit about Dolly Parton dying...

Anybody willing to lay odds on Facebook hitting back with "We didn't delete this page"... because Facebook is ALSO run by fake AI-generated bullshit? In all seriousness, fuck these AI scammer pieces of shit. Dolly Parton deserves far better than this stupid crap.

   
• NEWSFLASH: Tim Cook appeals to Trump’s love of gold with a 24-karat base for Apple plaque. So what's next? Tim Cook just flies the Apple jet to DC and blows Trump on the White House front lawn at a press event? I don't know what's more embarrassing... the fact we have a president who requires you suck up to him personally so you can keep your company in business, or the fact that CEOs are lining up to do it.

   
And now I'm back to smelling like onions.

Yesterday was International Cat Day, which is hilarious because EVERY DAY IS INTERNATIONAL CAT DAY!

In other news... I believe that my cats have a longstanding agreement on dividing my time between them. Jenny mostly wants my attention at night when I head up to bed. Though I don't know why. Most of the time she doesn't care about being petted... she just wants me to act as a foot rest...

What's interesting is that if Jake is laying in bed next to me when Jenny comes in the room, he will most times hop off the bed and leave the room, at which point Jenny will take his place. Sometimes I've even seen Jenny come into my bedroom, see Jake is next to me on the bed, leave the room, then he'll jump down and follow her out, at which point she'll come back so she can lay next to me.

But every once in a while... like last night on International Cat Day... miracles do happen...

And after Jenny left do you think I got my arm back?

Jake's designated time with me is when I get home from work. He and Jenny both sleep on my bed when I'm gone... but Jake listens for the garage door to open, then hauls ass down to the bottom of the stairs where he waits for me to walk in so he can get petted.

Sometimes he's apparently too comfortable to come running to greet me, because he isn't waiting. I used to go upstairs to make sure he was okay because it was so unusual for him to be absent when I walked through the door, but it was always just him being lazy.

They do seem to take turns sitting with me on the couch, however.

Jake wants to sit on my lap and be petted. Jenny prefers to sit next to me and be petted.

The common denominator being that my cats always want to be petted, of course.

Last night I was trying to figure out the last time I saw a movie in a theater. I ended up thinking that it was probably the Taylor Swift Eras Tour movie back in 2023. It was my first time seeing a movie after the pandemic started, and I haven't wanted to go back since.

Which is not surprising given how much I loathe the theater "experience." People are rude assholes, and paying big money to be trapped in a building with a bunch of them is not my idea of fun. At least not any more. Back in the 80's and 90's I went to the theater all the time. After that, it had to be a really good film to drag me to the cinema. Eventually I was mostly only going for the latest Marvel movies, and that was the end of it.

Except for Taylor Swift, of course.

And I'd probably grant an exception for this "COSM Shared Reality" experience if it ever came to town...

Right now there's two films in release that seem almost inconcievable that I'm skipping... Superman and Fantastic Four. Both of them look to encapsulate everything I love about movies. But, much as I'd love to see them ASAP, I'm content to wait it out because the idea of having to go to the theater fills me with a dread and loathing that's insurmountable.

And that got me to thinking what would be a film that could get me to leave the house to see?

Spinal Tap II: The End Continues? Or Project Hail Mary? Or Avengers: Doomsday? Or Avatar: Fire and Ash? Maybe. But... probably not.

One movie that most definitely won't be enticing me to the theater is Now You See Me: Now You Don't which looks even more stupid than the previous two installments (something I didn't think was possible). There's no magic here. It's just shitty special effects with even shittier dialogue...

It's like they're not trying to provide even the illusion of magic.

Remember the amazing series Deception which was a magic-based caper show that actually gave a shit about making the tricks look possible?

Dang was I sad they canceled that show.

Instead we get millions of dollars poured into piles of shit like another Now You See Me flick.

Oddly enough, if they ever made a Deception movie to tie up the cliffhangers they left us with, I actually would go to the theater.

There are times that so many things are going wrong in your life that there's just no response to it all. Which essentially leaves you with two options. 1) let it all overwhelm you and just pack it in... or 2) carry on the best you can until things (hopefully) get under control and you can breathe again.

Thanks to this motivational pep-talk from Elmo, it looks like I'll be carrying on for another day...

And so... let's go.