After returning from vacation, Jake and Jenny have been all over me. They do that for about a week, then kinda go back to their normal (though Jake still likes to lay on me more and more often).

It makes me feel bad to leave again, which is why I'm thinking seriously about hiring a cat-sitter next time. I've always resisted it before because they are so anti-social and have robots to take care of them, but at least with somebody in the house at night, they wouldn't feel quite so abandoned maybe?

This happened when I got home last Saturday...

And every night Jake has been like this...

And Jenny has been like this...

Essentially making sure I don't leave again...

Today Jake threw himself on my Instax photo collection as I was trying to find out how many mini albums I needed to buy. I pushed him aside to finish counting, but he still held on the entire time...

And now I get to go back to work so I can take tomorrow off. Which is great, because I need a vacation from my vacation.

When it comes to a cruise, anything less than 3 nights doesn't feel worth it... and anything more than 7 nights feels too long to be trapped on a big boat. My cruise was 5 nights, which is just about perfect. But that's not to say that I was happy about disembarking. Oh heck no. I would have gladly stayed onboard for those two extra nights. Bet.

Since they kick you off the ship early in the morning, most people just book a trip home that same day. I usually do not, preferring to stay an extra night at a hotel. It beats having to spend a big chunk of the day waiting for my flight at the airport. And, even more importantly, this time the cost to fly out the same day was significantly more expensive than waiting for some reason.

So... off to Fort Lauderdale Beach for a bit.

To drink seven mojitos of various flavors. Yes, seven...

The place was The Salty Sombrero, which I highly recommend. Great food, great drinks, great service, great view...

My room also had a great view, but it didn't have somebody serving me fresh mojitos all day...

But of course the beach is always better when you're not having to look at it through a window...

And that was it. All that was left to fly home the next morning...

Oh Florida, don't ever change.

Yesterday I went over arguably my favorite things about the Disney Destiny... the themed lounges. But, like the other ships in their line, there's a lot of great theming throughout the entire ship. The overall theme is "Heroes and Villains" and most everything is geared around the concept.

For one thing, the regular staterooms can be decorated with either Hercules, Mulan, Brave, Raya, The Incredibles, or Big Hero 6. Mine was Herc...

Hercules is easily the most prominent character on the ship. He's everywhere...

A neighbor was a pretty big Herc fan and decorated their door accordingly...

And his biggest moment is a live stage show that's remarkably well-done. Easily my favorite of any Disney onboard theater show I've seen, with next-level performances. I liked it so much I saw it twice. And I don't even like Broadway...

But villains have a moment too. One of the "big gets" onboard (in addition to the Cruella show I talked about yesterday) is a magic show by Dr. Facilier in his parlor (and I was sure to tell him that he got robbed because he wasn't in the Tiana's Bayou Adventure ride, and he refused to acknowledge the attraction)...

Maleficent had her own show, and appears in various places around the ship in art and furnishings...

Black Panther is the atrium sculpture, but Loki is the one with his own show...

Most cruise ships do their level best to keep you well-fed and entertained, and Disney is no exception. They've got it all. Including... BABY RACING?!?

Gotta tell you... there were a lot of people on their feet screaming at babies to crawl to the finish line. I honestly don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. Probably a good thing.

Except for the trauma of being disqualified because you walked instead of crawled.

Come aboard... it's your Destiny!

I've now been on four Disney ships. The Magic and its twin ship The Wonder... and The Wish, and now it's twin ship The Destiny. The former pair are significantly smaller and more intimate than the latter, but all Disney ships (regardless of size) have the impeccable service and theming you'd expect.

The Destiny is a carbon copy of The Wish which I sailed on last December, but a few of the areas have been changed. Most notably, instead of Star Wars: Hyperspace Lounge you get Haunted Mansion Parlor and instead of Nightingale's you get DeVil's and instead of Tiana's The Bayou you get Doctor Strange's The Sanctum and instead of Arendelle: A Frozen Dining Adventure you get The Pridelands: A Lion King Dining Adventure. And, I gotta say, the Destiny versions are in every way superior. So let's take a look at them, shall we?

I was more than a little disappointed in Star Wars: Hyperspace Lounge because it seemed superficial in its theming. But Haunted Mansion Parlor is another matter entirely. It's brilliantly, beautifully, abundantly themed in every way...

The bar has a magical mirror behind it where ghosts and spirits appear. Including Madame Leota...

The fish tank at the center of the room has skeletal fish appearing and disappearing, and it's a very cool effect...

The portraits on the wall are magical things which change over time and even come to life...

As if that wasn't enough, the drinks are fantastic...

   
DeVil's is a piano bar with an appearance by Cruella herself, and involves you writing a song to honor her with an audience participation angle that's genius. If there's a must-do experience which is 100% worth standing in line for an hour to get into, this is it...

The drinks are pretty amazing too...

   
Doctor Strange's The Sanctum doesn't really have the theming you'd hope for, but the bartenders here were exceptional, and I made repeat visits just to chat with them...

If there's a misstep, for me it would be The Pride Lands: Feast of the Lion King. Probably because I was expecting a show which featured the amazing costumes from Julie Taymor's broadway production... but it was just singing. Great singing, for sure, but that's it...

This is all just the tip of the iceberg. And why a Disney cruise is worth your valuable time to explore.

I could have easily spent another day in South Beach, but it's almost impossible to visit Miami without a trip to Little Havana. Not just because it's a vibrant neighborhood with an impeccable vibe and awesome music oozing out of every nook and cranny... but because it's an awesome place to wander.

I love it here...

Lunch was at Cubata, a phenomenal restaurant which is a kinda Cuban/Spanish fusion place with incredible tapas to be had. I would have had a drink at the Hard Rock Cafe, but the pig fucking assholes were closed for a "private event"...

I will never, ever fucking understand how a restaurant chain which strives to be a destination event which practically demands that you visit as many as you can will close the entire fucking place without warning. It's happened to me more than a couple times, and it's one of the big reasons I no longer give a shit if I ever visit another one after having been to 172 of them around the world.

And then it was time to return to South Beach, where adorable robots have taken over the city...

One thing's for sure, it was a beautiful day at the beach...

Sadly, it was also my last day at the beach.

I was going to keep blogging while I was on vacation, but it was tough to find the mental strength to pull out my computer knowing all the horrific shit going on in the country and the world. So I left it in my bag. Sorry to my friends who might have thought something horrible happened to me. Sorry to my haters that I wasn't dead this whole time. Better luck next time.

But anyway...

Thanks to an opportunity too good to be true, I found myself heading back to Florida for a Disney cruise. This time on the brand new Disney Destiny. It's basically a re-theme of the Disney Wish, where some of the lounges, restaurants, and shows have been changed. But most everything is pretty much the same.

But I had a couple days in Miami before boarding the ship, so let's start there, shall we?

I've never sat down and made a list of my favorite American cities but, if I did, the South Beach neighborhood of Miami would most certainly be on that list. I have been extremely fortunate enough to have visited multiple times and have always wished I could have stayed longer. This time was no exception.

Whether it's the architecture, the food, or the vibe... South Beach has it all. But, to me, especially the architecture. And especially at night...

Before my late-night walk down Ocean Drive, I took the opportunity to eat at my favorite restaurant in town, Havana 1957. They have a Garden Cuban Salad with a cilantro dressing that will kill you... and a darn good SUPER MOJITO!

If only there was one of these down the street from my house.

   
• Quokka Edition! In today's episode of Adorable Animals Eating stuff...

If I hadn't seen a quokka in real life, I would have sworn they were AI or something.

   
• Flour or Corn? I have been watching tortilla challenge videos, and now I’m dead, y’all...

A challenge I would most certainly lose.

   
• NEWSFLASH: F.D.A. Blocked Publication of Research Finding Covid and Shingles Vaccines Were Safe. Suppressing scientific findings because they disagree with your idiotic bullshit... whodathunkit? OH... EVERYBODY WHO'S FUCKING SANE!!! Lying to keep people from being safe and healthy is exactly what you want from those in charge of keeping you safe and healthy. But that's RFK Jr. and the Trump Administration in a nutshell.

   
• Second Verse, Same as the First! Why? Why is he not telling the whole story? Because he's a fucking dumbass piece of fucking shit that's going to get babies killed...

Go fuck yourself you unbelievable fucking asshole. Jesus CHRIST why aren't these fuckers held responsible for their misinformation? All it takes is one person who listens to him and loses their kid before it's murder.

   
• Half Off Energy! Are we great yet?

Oh... wait a sec... we still have one month left before gas prices are cut by 50%. Which means it will be going from the $3.12 a gallon at the time Trump took office (national average) to $1.56 a gallon (national average) any day now! That will be a refreshing change from the $4.46 (national average) we're paying now! — Just remember... during the campaign Trump pledged to "rapidly drive prices down" and reduce energy/electricity costs by half within 12–18 months. We're almost there, so hang on, everybody! Just so long as the person in charge isn't falling asleep at the wheel, everything will be fine!

   
• The Real World! Yes. You have that exactly right. Instead of serving the American people as his job requires, this piece of shit went on a fucking seven month vacation on the taxpayer’s dime...

When are people going to wake up and realize that this administration is a fucking sham? They do nothing but make life easier for wealthy people. That’s it. War profiteering, grifts, lies, and crimes. That is the entirety of what they do.

   
• Worship Him! Posted without comment...

Except to say that this is as accurate a critique as it could possibly get.

   
And... good night.

Here it is... Jake getting pets. Jenny waiting for her turn...

And the minute Jake goes, Jenny jumps down...

And it works the opposite too. When Jenny heads up to bed with me, Jake waits patiently for her to be done with me... then he hops up to get petted.

It's tiring for me, because I never get a break... but better than them fighting over me.

Trying to find something to be happy about when this country has been turned into such a fucking shithole has been really tough. I don't even bother to keep up with the news because it just sends me spiraling.

But there are good things to be found. Usually involving animals eating stuff...

Have a good weekend!

Jalopnik: With 12,000 Flights Canceled In May Already, We've Got Bad News About Your Summer Vacation.

"The U.S. is now two months deep into an unprovoked war with Iran and the results have not been kind to anyone. In the states inflation tripled with surging gas prices, which quickly reached an average of over $4.00/gallon nationally. And in a world completely dependent on fuel, any shortage in the supply system hurts everyone, especially concerning air travel. It's bad enough that Matt Smith, Kpler director of commodity research warned on CNBC's "Squawk Box" that the 12,000 flights have been cancelled in May — of which we're only five days in — was only the beginning. Expect jet fuel prices to affect your summer travel, or even cancel it."

This is what incompetence in government looks like. They're so desperate to distract from the Epstein Files that we're now in a war that's fucked the entire country... and, indeed, the world.

I'm so sick of this non-stop parade of horrors I could vomit.