For the life of me I don't understand why "smart home" technology is so fucking brain-dead.

Companies have been working on this shit for years. I started with Apple Homekit. But it was so horrendously fucking shitty that I abandoned it within a week. I then moved on to a piecemeal system where I bought the best parts from each manufacturer, then used a half-dozen apps to control everything. Sure the parts couldn't work very well together, but at least they worked! Eventually I took a leap with INSTEON, and it was pretty great. everything worked together and things happened practically instantaneously (hence the name). It was perfect. Until it was discontinued.

At which point I went back to Apple HomeKit. Even though nothing had changed. Once HomeShit, always HomeShit. Everything was slow. Scenes and actions were glacially slow. After living with INSTEON, this was torture.

But I bought into it because it was promised that eventually HomeKit would transition to the new "Matter" smart home standard, which was a massive initiative by dozens of smart home companies that would guarantee everything would work together. To be sure I could jump onboard, I made doubly-sure that everything I bought was able to be upgraded to Matter when the time came. This meany mostly buying everything from Eve Smart Home.

After waiting and waiting and waiting, Eve made their motion sensors the first device that could be upgraded to Matter. So I grabbed one of the two sensors I owned, did the upgrade, and... fail. It was bricked. Wouldn't work any more. Nothing I tried would bring it back, so I put it in a drawer, said several curse words, and resigned myself to sticking with HomeKit, no matter how fucking shitty it is.

Until last week.

I grabbed that motion sensor out of the drawer and attempted to bring it back to life. And failed again and again. Then I found a comprehensive list of things people did to get their device working again after upgrading to Matter and tried them. Nothing worked. So then I decided to try all the suggestions at the same time.

I shut down all my HomeKit hubs. I made sure my router was able to process IP6 addresses then rebooted it. I rebooted my phone. Then I started my preferred HomeKit hub (my AppleTV). Then I pulled up my Eve Matter ID number for the motion sensor... and... there we go. I was able to add it back to my HomeKit configuration.

I shudder to think how much time I wasted on this stupid bullshit.

And so now I've given up on Matter. It's far, far more trouble than it's worth, so I just don't give a crap any more. HomeKit may be flakey as hell, but it mostly works, and since that's the best I can hope for, I guess I'm done.

Which brings me back to the question of the decade: Why is it so damn difficult to get a smart home system to work and stay working?

Maybe one day a company will finally figure it out. But right now I'd be happy with something that was better than what we've got now.

Denis Villeneuve's Dune (Parts One and Two) is a masterpiece of storytelling, beautifully adapting one of my favorite novels that was largely declared "unfilmable." Even after it was filmed by David Lynch, whom I thought actually did a great job given that he only got one movie and was limited by the special effects of the day. Villeneuve's success had HBO Max salivating at the idea of adapting more material in the hopes of giving them another massive Game of Thrones sized hit. And in that respect, Dune is perfect because it's got the same Great Houses shenanigans that was the hallmark of Thrones.

Dune was Game of Thrones before Game of Thrones existed.

The six-part series we're getting is Dune: Prophecy, and it seems to be based on the book Sisterhood of Dune as written by Frank Herbert's son, Brian Herbert, along with Kevin J. Anderson. It's been a long time since I read the novel, but it still seems like there's a lot of changes going on. Which I'm indifferent to since I wasn't a huge fan of any of the prequel books that I read.

The first episode debuted last night and was pretty good. Though it's mostly just putting all the players on the chessboard in a time period 10,000 years before Paul Atreides existed, and the universe is in turmoil after the war with the thinking machines. We did get a teaser of what's to come, and it looks like it might be darn entertaining...

At least HBO is putting some serious money into the show. Much of it is beautifully realized and comes off looking like a million bucks. Or, more likely, tens of millions of bucks. The scenes are highly detailed and the cast (lead by the always excellent Emily Watson with equally good appearances by Mark Strong and Olivia Williams) is capable.

If I have a criticism, it's that they sometimes don't seem to know what the heck to do to move the story forward. A glaring example is when the Princess Ynez heads off to a nightclub with her brother to do drugs, and it's like... a nightclub? Seriously? It drives me crazy when writers just kinda give up on thinking of anything exotic, new, or interesting, and instead just slap a nightclub from earth into their bullshit. And least the cantina scene in the original Star Wars tried to be exotic, new, and interesting. Dune Prophecy just gives up completely right out of the gate.

So... all-in-all... a pretty solid start to what will hopefully be a solid show.

Winter is finally here because there was a dusting of snow on the ground when I woke up this morning, but I can't be out rolling around in it... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Betty Gets Stamped! Betty White is getting her own postage stamp in 2025!

I'm happy that they used a photo of her when she was older since that's how most people would recognize her. But they could have done a set of four with Betty through the ages since her career has been so long and varied... just sayin'.

   
• Happy! I want so badly to see Piece By Piece but the price to buy it is still the in-theater price of $25... so I guess I'm waiting a minute. But, come on, doesn't this Pharrell Williams doc look incredible? Genius, really...

If there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that we need more LEGO documentaries like this.

   
• On The Bayou! Walt Disney World's Splash Mountain has been re-themed into Tiana's Bayou Adventure for a while now, and at last Disneyland's has been transformed as well...

As I said when I took a look at Orlando's ride, I think this was a bit of a missed opportunity in that they should have told the story of the film Princess and the Frog, but they didn't. So that means beloved characters like Ray (not to mention one of Disney's best villains, Dr. Facilier) are missing. That's a darn shame.

   
• Bug Reports! I've lost count of the number of times that I've reported a bug to Apple that they never address. Whenever you receive an email with a meeting link and click "ACCEPT" to let the sender know that you'll be there, the message is immediately deleted. And, no, it's not because Apple Mail adds it to your calendar with the meeting link. It's because Apple Mail IS A BRAIN-DEAD PILE OF SHIT AND NOBODY AT APPLE GIVES A FUCK!

It is absolutely abhorrent how Apple never seems to care about people trying to do actual work with their stupid shit. I have been reporting this same bug for fucking years now.

   
• Cheap Danger! You should probably watch this video. It's a sign of what's going to be coming in other industries. Corporations raking in BILLIONS of dollars yet refusing to pay anything to keep workers and customers safe, because there's no repercussions. And now there will be even less, because the next administration has made it very clear that they're going to continue to put corporations over people...

This is going to cost lives. Not even a question.

   
• Justice! NEWSFLASH: American livestreamer indicted in South Korea over offensive antics. Oh noes. I sure hope that nothing happens to him while he's doing time for being one of the worst people on the face of the fucking planet. He's been terrorizing and disrespecting people, places, and important things for what seems like forever. The number of heinous things he's done is so long that I'm shocked he hasn't been banned from all of Asia. Maybe it's forthcoming.

   
And now we return to Winter, already in progress.

Last Thursday night Princess Jenny woke me up crying her head off at 1:30am. Jake was already sleeping at the end of the bed and I didn't know she left. So I called down to her because apparently she forgot where my bedroom is (something they BOTH do, often) and she comes running in for pets.

She's had what I'm guessing are "bad dreams" since she was a kitten, and sometimes she wakes up in a panic where she cries like this. According to my Apple Watch, I petted her for 15 minutes before falling asleep again, and the security cameras show she wandered back down shortly after. BUT HERE'S THE THING... Jake followed her down...

And though I don't have a camera on the warming pads, I'm pretty sure he laid down with her for the rest of the night, because they both left at the same time, which they usually only do if one of them is next to (or on top of) the other. That's kinda sweet, isn't it?

I've had the kitty igloos out for a while now just in case Fake Jake is trapped outside and needs a warm spot to hang out. I've been recording some strange temperature fluctuations I can't explain, so I finally put a camera in there to see what's going on. Apparently nothing. Although... I don't think this is Fake Jake...

I mentioned a couple weeks ago that I was worried Jake has a touch of arthritis, so I've been making some changes to (hopefully) make his life a little easier as he gets older. One of the things I did was order some ramps for the Litter-Robots. But here's the thing... every time I saw the cats using the toilet, they were leaping over the stairs! They weren't using them at all! So I set up the security cameras to keep an eye out and, sure enough, Jenny started using the stairs in short order...

Eventually Jake too has realized that using the stairs won't hurt him, and it does look easier for him, so I'm thinking it was money well-spent.

I've been going back through my old "Best Of" entries for my favorite television and movies of the year since I started making them. It's a great way to get ideas of what I might want to watch while waiting for new shows to release or new episodes of shows I've been watching.

It's been fun. Because every time I tune in I know it'll be something I'll enjoy.

The show that keeps surprising me every time I re-watch it is Watchmen. The brilliant sequel-series to the brilliant comic book is far, far better than it had a right to be. I think I love it more every time I see it...

This list of shows that make me want to rewatch them all over again the minute I finish the last episode are so few.

And if you would have told me that this would have been one of them, I wouldn't have believed you. I mean, what shot did it have?

   
In the absence of action there is indifference. Even if people pretend otherwise.

And pretend they do.

I didn't grow up eating "exotic" foods. Which is not a criticism... so many memories of meals I loved growing up. One of my favorites was my mom's Spanish rice. I can remember watching her make it, but I have no idea what was in it. It wasn't at all spicy (which was perfect for me at the time) but it had a deliciously tomato sauce taste that was great. I have tried dozens of recipes for "Spanish rice" over the years, but have never duplicated the taste that's burned into my brain. Maybe one day.

Once I became a vegetarian in 1986 my meal options were radically reduced. The majority of foods I ate were meat-based, and finding alternatives was a never-ending pursuit (such as using rice instead of beef in tacos). Ultimately I had a very small set of foods that I kept coming back to over and over.

But then I started traveling quite a bit.

Suddenly I was exposed to all kinds of vegetarian foods I had never eaten before. Heck, many of them I had never heard of before. One of the most important to come along? Falafel. I fell in love with it instantly, and have been eating it constantly ever since. It was an introduction to spices I'd never had, and over the years I've made my food spicier and spicier. Using more and different spices I come across. Now I've got quite a collection...

And while I bought falafel mixes to start, now I make my own spicy falafel that I love...

But because you have to soak the chickpeas overnight (canned doesn't hold together, you have to start from dried). So a lot of times I found myself craving falafel I wasn't able to make it. Which is why I now freeze the stuff in bags so I can fry it up any time...

I don't have money to spend for Black Friday this year, but I'm going to try and find a vacuum sealer so that freezer burn doesn't reduce the life of my frozen falafel because of freezer burn.

Though I do make it spicy, so a little freezer burn probably won't be noticed.

As it should be.

As I mentioned yesterday, I was mad that the new faucet I bought was opposite in operation from the faucet that it replaced... despite being the same brand, Kohler! It was also opposite of every other single-handle faucet I've ever used where the HOT water is away from you and the COLD water is nearest to you. Which only makes psychological sense, because you'd want the more dangerous option to be the furthest away.

I thought I might be crazy in my expectations, so I posted the following photos to Facebook and asked which they would expect to dispense hot water. The overwhelming majority said that the left photo was the correct photo.

Except when it comes to the dipshits at fucking Kohler, where it's not.

A part of me wonders how shit like this happens. Is there like one designer guy who makes all the decisions and just doesn't give a shit? There's no quality assurance person there to say "Whoa! All our other faucets have the hot water dispensed when the handle is away from you! Let's fix that!"

I still don't know if I will swap the lines to the opposite way that they've been marked on the hoses. I'll wait until my ribs are mostly healed again to decide. Though I suppose I should ask fucking Kohler if there's some ramification from correcting their stupid fucking mistake by switching things up. Could be that there's a special gasket for the hot water and running it through the cold water part will void your warranty or some such stupid bullshit.

And now I'm fucking furious all over again.

This is bullshit.

I miss my mom most days... but her birthday, Mother's Day, and Veterans Day are probably the hardest. Veterans Day because that's when I'd take her to Applebee's Grill every year for her free dinner. It's a really nice thing they do, and I miss it.

Ten years ago I got ran over by a van at the Marseilles airport and ended up with a cracked rib. It was really, really painful. So painful that I thought for sure I had fully-broken ribs but, no. Apparently even a small fracture is enough to put you in agony if you breathe too deep or cough or bend wrong. I don't think it ever truly healed, because there's been a handful of times that I've banged my side or run into something where the pain comes right back.

As I was crawling under the sink yesterday to install my replacement faucet, I fell on the side with my once-fractured rib and... pop. Here we go again. Agonizing pain. I had to take a handful of Advil so I could sleep.

When I woke up this morning, I was groggy and not thinking clearly and rolled over on my side. At which point I terrorized the cats because I let out a yelp. Yep. Still in pain. But that was nothing compared to the pain of what I discovered when I was cooking dinner tonight.

My new faucet either A) Had the cold line label on the wrong line... or B) the temperature handle on this new faucet is the opposite of how every faucet I've ever used operates (including my previous Kohler faucet that this Kohler faucet is replacing). When I pull forward, it's hot instead of cold.

And, yes, I know which lines are which. Not only does the hot line have the dishwasher water supply coming off it it, I made sure that I had the right line by running hot water through it and feeling the pipe. I am nothing if not cautious and thorough when it comes to stuff like this.

I am understandably outraged.

Once I'm able to climb back under the sink without my ribs making me want to cry, I'll have to switch the lines. If I hadn't gotten used to having it backwards by then.

=sigh=

It's always something.

Now that the heat is on at my house, I am warm enough to blog again... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Poh-Tay-Toh! One of my favorite YouTube series is the Epicurious Pro Chefs Taste Tests. I obsess over them because the chefs they get are always great. But my favorite is Jack Logue because he's kinda a void for most of the video... but when he likes something, you know it because he breaks on it. When he finds fries he likes, it's pretty great...

I waffle between Lamb Weston and McCain Foods USA depending on what's on sale, so it's good to know I'm buying the best. Though, to be honest, I am badly addicted to McCain Hashbrown Patties and tend to eat them over fries now-a-days. If you like cooking videos, these are worth a look.

   
• The Oven Bakes Again! My replacement oven arrived and it's very much like my old oven with the same basic features. But it does have one very big difference I love. The stovetop is a solid sheet! No gap filled with rubber to collect crumbs and gunk! It'll be so easy to keep clean!

Other than that, it's an oven. It'll be nice to be able to bake bread again.

   
• The Bold Failure of Kohler! I really hate having messy hands in the kitchen while cooking and needing to turn on the faucet, then getting the faucet all gunked up. So when I remodeled my kitchen, I bought a fancy touchless faucet and paid a plumber to install it. Four-and-a-half years later, and the "touchless" part of my "Bold Look of Kohler" failed. I was going to swtich brands, but stuck with Kohler so I wouldn't have to pay to have it installed. Instead I could use most of what was already under the cabinet, and just replace the main faucet part. The model I had isn't made any more, so I bought one that was similar. And of course Kohler changed everything, meaning I had to start over from scratch any way. And it was more difficult this time because they made some stupid fucking design decisions. Oh well. Saved myself $500 in installation charges I don't have after buying a new oven and a new touchless faucet.

   
• Thunderbolts*! I haven't been this excited for a Marvel Studios movies film since Avengers: Endgame. This looks great!

   
• Cap! And this?!? Also looks very cool!

   
• Star Wars Trilogy Redux! Simon Kinberg has been put in charge of writing a new trilogy of Star Wars movies. And I'm like Simon Kinberg? Hmmm. I mean, he did write gems like Mr. & Mrs. Smith and co-created Star Wars: Rebels... but he's got LOADS of absolute shit on his résumé as well. X-Men: The Last Stand? SHIT! Jumper? TOTAL SHIT! This Means War? SHIT! Fant4stic Four? HEINOUS PILES OF SHIT ON SHIT! X-Men: Apocalypse? ASPIRES TO BE SHIT! X-Men: Dark Phoenix? CAN ONLY DREAM OF BEING AS GOOD AS COPIOUS PILES OF SHIT! — Ugh. This does not sound promising at all. If I am confident of one thing, Kathleen Kennedy is going to continue her streak of shitty fucking Star Wars films. I still marvel that Rogue One and Solo managed to turn out as well as they did given how the sequel trilogy and the last Indiana Jones movie were mostly SHIT! And while I've enjoyed the Star Wars television shows, only Andor is quality enough that I can honestly say I love it. The rest have great moments, but don't satisfy as a whole. The Book of Boba Fett, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, and The Acolyte could have been SO much better. And last season of The Mandalorian is tired. I sincerely hope that movie doesn't suck.

   
• ! Speaking of some of the best Star Wars ever, the second season of Andor has been given a start date: April 22, 2025. So long to go. But I'm confident it will be worth the wait. The first season is some of the best television I've ever seen.

   
And now I should probably climb in bed and try to get some sleep since I totally failed at it last night.